Whens the right time...for sex

[Sparky]

Yes I asked this question. After i lost my Virginity in grade six. (13) I waited right up until well i am still waiting for people around me to do it for the first time. So i ask you the question of when is the right time.

Me personally i think the right time is When ever your good and ready. Myself i was ready at the age of 13, the time was right I went to a school where the only thing i learnt was sex. all through grade six and Highschool. I was raised around people talking non stop about sex and i thought i was ready. do i regret doing it at such a young age? Hell No. Sex is a natural thing. It didnt change me one bit. I knew all about protection and made sure i used it. it dont matter when you have sex as long as your ready. what are your views on this? when is the right time.

 

[HBK-aholic]

Yeah, I'd say as long as you're ready. I don't think there's a specific age. However I would personally say 13 was too young. There's a reason we have a legal age, whether people like it or not. At 13 you're only just getting used to being a teenager, and having things changing. If you felt ready at 13 fine, but I think a majority of people would no where near be ready at that age.

I think there's a lot to be said for waiting until it's leagl. I mean, sure you could be with someone at 15 and want to. But I see no harm in waiting until 16. If you're going to be with them for a while then those few months shouldn't mean anything.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

Yes I asked this question. After i lost my Virginity in grade six. (13) I waited right up until well i am still waiting for people around me to do it for the first time. So i ask you the question of when is the right time.

In my opening statement, I mean no disrespect to you or anyone else but the fact is anyone who's had sex before at least the bare minimum age of 15-16 is flat out ****ing themselves out for the overrated experience of claiming they've done it.

The ONLY way not being a virgin is remotely acceptable below the age of 15, is if you were forcefully raped. And NO, rape is NOT nor ever a positive thing. But the fact is, regardless of how "mature", "responsible" and "ready" you think you are.. you aren't. Period.

Me personally i think the right time is When ever your good and ready.

You're only half right. Most of the time, the best time to have sex is when you aren't feeling pressured to do it. Most of the time, that comes when you feel "ready" for it. But at the same time, noone and I mean noone regardless of any excuse or reason can say at the age of 13, 14, 15 or younger, can claim they knew they were ready.

You barely hit puberty, and to be honest I'm shocked both of your nuts had even dropped. Seriously though, the average age of puberty is 14 for males and 12 for females. Why it's different, I'm unsure, but the fact is the beginning teen years aren't meant for grown up acts.

Myself i was ready at the age of 13

You're foolish, naive, and kidding yourself completely. What makes you believe you were ready? Any reply you give me, I'll shred.. I promise. But at the same time, I want to hear the excuse.

the time was right I went to a school where the only thing i learnt was sex.

Then you're an idiot. (meant in the nicest way possible) School is the biggest peer-pressure area of any place there could be, especially for hormone driven teens, (especially males) and their over-inflated egos. You weren't ready at the age of 13.. and the only reason "sex" was the only thing discussed at that time.. was because each of you caught a glimpse of softcore porn on the teley and decided you could do it too.

all through grade six and Highschool. I was raised around people talking non stop about sex and i thought i was ready.

So because a bunch of six graders are discussing sex, you not only believe they have great points, views and opinions on the matter.. but you also believe that because they feel it's okay, then you believed it was "the right time".

You're lucky you didn't A.) contract an STD and B.) Wind up with some girl pregnant.

do i regret doing it at such a young age? Hell No.

That's because you're a male, and you feel having sex at the youngest possible age is likely making you look like a "stud" when in reality, it's making you look like a "dud".

Seriously, it's good that you don't regret it because over half the females I know regret jumping in too early (often around 15-16 years of age) and feel that most of the time, it's only done because of the curiousity of the experience.

Why do you think most kids that age have sex once or twice, then drop off from doing it for another 5-6 years. Because after discovering what it's like.. it isn't "exciting" to a child anymore. Your attention span can't retain that type of excitement.

Sex is a natural thing. It didnt change me one bit.

Sex typically doesn't "change" anyone. It's the mental aspect of it that makes you think you're suddenly a "man" because your penis has touched an actual vagina. Point is, sex regardless of being 13 or 30, doesn't make you go from being a boy to a man. Anyone who thinks that, is completely brain damaged.

Most children who jump into sex want nothing more than to brag. Because you said yourself you had sex early on, and you're just now waiting for others to catch up.. at least in a small form, it shows you feel "accomplished" on getting there before others. But why?

I knew all about protection and made sure i used it.

While condoms are easily the best way to prevent pregnancy, they DO NOT always work, and the 100% best way to prevent any type of STD or pregnancy is to wait until you're ready for the unlikely event of a pregnancy.

You being 13 were barely out of diapers yourself, to suddenly be thrown into a Fatherhood role of changing them on "your child". Again, I'm not saying it to be mean.. but you were far too young to begin with, and you escaped a very bad situation with shear luck.

it dont matter when you have sex as long as your ready.

This you're dead wrong on. It DOES matter when you have sex, for all the reasons I said above, but none more so than the unexpected pregnancy.

If you're 13-17, even under 20 in general, you AREN'T fully ready to be a Parent. Granted, some and a very small group might be.. but when you have sex, you risk giving up a lot of your childhood and a lot of your freedom, because of the off-shoot chance a child could be brought into the picture.

So no, sex is NOT okay as long as "you're ready". You need to make sure you're 100% capable of handling the situation that could be produced from the act.

what are your views on this? when is the right time.

Ideally the right time is going to be when you're stable enough to be mature. I'm not saying wait until you're 25-30, or longer. But the fact is, I'd say make sure you understand exactly what you're doing.

Sex isn't just "sex". Because a child isn't just "a mistake". And the number one thing in this world that makes the newer generations look worse and worse, is the amount of immature and unready Parents, who thought "they were ready" for sex and games.. but didn't understand the risks that could follow.

 

[simpsons_fanatic742]

I can honestly say I don't know when the right time is to have sex, but I agree with Will that it can't be before the age of 16-18 atleast. You can't tell me that you fully understand what is going on and what it all means, other than pleasure. You have to grow up a little bit before realizing what sex is and everything that comes with it.

I'm 18, turning 19 in September and I haven't had sex yet. Do I think I'm ready to have sex, for sure, but for me it's not just about getting in some girl's pants. I think that your first time should be somewhat special to you, which is why I would like my first time to be with someone I care about and even have been in a relationship with for some time. I just think that it would be a much better experience that having sex with a random you met at some party and waking up and not remembering any of it. That's just me though. Maybe I'm holding the experience of sex too high, but this is what I think it should be like.

 

[Sparky]

In my opening statement, I mean no disrespect to you or anyone else but the fact is anyone who's had sex before at least the bare minimum age of 15-16 is flat out ****ing themselves out for the overrated experience of claiming they've done it.

Actually until last year I never told anybody minus Girlfriends i had slept with anybody. so it wasnt for that reason at all. why i did it i cant honestly tell you. all i know is i did it.

The ONLY way not being a virgin is remotely acceptable below the age of 15, is if you were forcefully raped. And NO, rape is NOT nor ever a positive thing. But the fact is, regardless of how "mature", "responsible" and "ready" you think you are.. you aren't. Period.

Well Will just when are you ready? and why is it such a crime to do it at a young age? if both of you are legal and BOTH of you are ready go for it. I know your young and foolish but its not going to make you grow abnormally.

You're only half right. Most of the time, the best time to have sex is when you aren't feeling pressured to do it. Most of the time, that comes when you feel "ready" for it. But at the same time, noone and I mean noone regardless of any excuse or reason can say at the age of 13, 14, 15 or younger, can claim they knew they were ready.

And why cant you? Just becouse you didnt know at that age dont mean you can speak for everybody else. I felt i was ready She felt she was ready, thats all that matters.

You barely hit puberty, and to be honest I'm shocked both of your nuts had even dropped. Seriously though, the average age of puberty is 14 for males and 12 for females. Why it's different, I'm unsure, but the fact is the beginning teen years aren't meant for grown up acts.

I will tell you about that one day.

You're foolish, naive, and kidding yourself completely. What makes you believe you were ready? Any reply you give me, I'll shred.. I promise. But at the same time, I want to hear the excuse.

What makes me belive i was ready? I knew that it was no big deal. to me and the girl at the time did it as a hobby really. It was just something we decided to do becouse we knew each other since kindergarten. I know it aint a good enough excuse but i was ready in my own eyes and thats that.

Then you're an idiot. (meant in the nicest way possible) School is the biggest peer-pressure area of any place there could be, especially for hormone driven teens, (especially males) and their over-inflated egos. You weren't ready at the age of 13.. and the only reason "sex" was the only thing discussed at that time.. was because each of you caught a glimpse of softcore porn on the teley and decided you could do it too.

truth be told i am a Porno Virgin never watched one in my life i am not interested in them. why watch something you can do yourself. Yeah i admit i didnt see sex as what your meant to, I saw it as something that felt good and passed the time. I only did it with the one girl the whole time for two years. How do you know i wasnt ready? Only "I" know when i was ready Will.

So because a bunch of six graders are discussing sex, you not only believe they have great points, views and opinions on the matter.. but you also believe that because they feel it's okay, then you believed it was "the right time".

It wasnt just sixth graders it was EVERYBODY around me, talking about it. It want like i was looking around trying to get sex off of every girl i met, it was just the one girl. I didnt do it becouse it was the In thing to do. I have always been the one that walked away from the pack I dont give a shit what people say or do.

That's because you're a male, and you feel having sex at the youngest possible age is likely making you look like a "stud" when in reality, it's making you look like a "dud".

Again the only time i tell a "real" person is when i know them for long enough or i am dating them and they ask. I tell the truth i dont lie. I used to it ended up in me being in a lot of shit.

Seriously, it's good that you don't regret it because over half the females I know regret jumping in too early (often around 15-16 years of age) and feel that most of the time, it's only done because of the curiousity of the experience.

Im not a female?...

Most children who jump into sex want nothing more than to brag. Because you said yourself you had sex early on, and you're just now waiting for others to catch up.. at least in a small form, it shows you feel "accomplished" on getting there before others. But why?

I didnt mean it like that I meant that in my group of friends there are still some people waitning for the right time. What i want to know is when is the right time.

Ideally the right time is going to be when you're stable enough to be mature. I'm not saying wait until you're 25-30, or longer. But the fact is, I'd say make sure you understand exactly what you're doing.

But some people are smart for their Age Will. they mature earliy. weather it is forced or not.

 

[Mr. TM]

I am not ashamed to say the first time I had sex was when I was 19. It is quite old to lose your virginity, but I found it to be the perfect time. I was not willing to have sex with someone I knew I would not be with for the rest of my life. I had sex with my current girlfriend, and it is great to know that I have only ever had sex with her. When I think about it, the people I could have had sex with would not be right for me now, and it is like I would only be having sex with them for Lust and not Love.

 

[undertakerrulesmania20]

I Am Lik You I Just Recently Had Sex For The First Time At19 And Am Not Ashamed. At Least I Knew When The Right Time Was After I Knew What The Cncequinces Could Be. Yeah Anyone Below The Age Of 16 I Say 17 Is Just Damageing Thier Own Lives And Self Asteem. There Is No Way Sex Is The Only Thing Being Talked About In Sixth Grade. If It Is Then Generations Really Are Getting Worse. I Have Seen Pregnent 14 Year Olds And Believe Me Its Not Pretty Especally If You Are Still In School At That Young A Age.

 

[My$terio_Fan]

I must be from a huge "****e" province or something. Everyone or almost everyone has had sex by at least 17. I was 16 when I lost my virginity and I don't regret it or feel it was wrong. My bestfriend(who's a girl) first had sex when she was 13 and many people I know had sex before 16. It's just a thing that happens where I live(small town), I guess. Personally I thought it happened everywhere. In my grad class there was 20 and I could be almost 99% more than half has sex. I don't see there being anything wrong with person losing their virginity at 13, as long as it was a) Consent b) a person similar age. Here in Canada it's not considered illegal if two 13 year olds have sex with each other as long as it isn't a 16 or older with someone younger than 16. I just don't see the big deal, your going to do when you do it. As long as your safe their should be nothing wrong. Also in school they teach you sex ed, in grade 6, so they obviosuly know some students are going to start having sex and they need to be aware of the risks.

 

[FromTheSouth]

Every young man thinks he's ready at 13. Shit, you walk around with half an erection all day anyway. Problem is, you're not ready. I had no idea what to do. I knew where to put it, but there was no proper, um, preparation, and I didn't have a condom. That wasn't even an issue.

She was no help either. We were in a bathroom and I'm sure anyone who walked in knew what was happening. Luckily not too many people walked in in that 10 minutes.

I have gotten better over time, but I was terrible that first time, but there was no stopping me.

 

[Richard]

I don't think there is any 'right time' to lose your virginity providing you are OVER the legal age of consent because I live my life by this motto. "Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should".

I mean no disrespect to anyone here, but Sparky, fair enough if you thought you were ready, that's all good and well. I just think 13 is a bit too young. At 13 you are just hitting your teens and I think males would have a different mind set on losing their virginity because I'm going to assume that it means more to girls to give themselves to someone for the first time and A LOT of guys would only just want to lose it as soon as possible so they can say they done it.

I am going to agree 100% with Will, you are ready for sex when there is absolutely no pressure and when you are in school you are in a place where pressure is at its peak.

Peer pressure is a great influence on young people, I don't mean great as in positive and if your friends had boyfriends/girlfriends that they were screwing, then some people are going to want to do it aswell.

Also once you hit the legal age of consent, I will refer back to the motto I said before, "Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should". I'm talking about as soon as you hit 16 (In NSW) doesn't mean you should go and sleep with your current boyfriend or girlfriend just because you are allowed to.

So in conclusion, there is no 'right time' to lose it, providing you are over the legal age of consent in your state.

 

[Rusty]

I personally think the right time is when you are 17 or 18 years old. I believe this is the minimum age that anybody that anybody should lose their virginity. Nobody should be pressured into having "sex" for the first time in their lives. It is a huge step whether it be in a relationship with someone or not. I believe that you only have sex when you feel YOUR ready, not when somebody else forces you or when your partner is ready. Some religions also believe that you shouldn't have sex until you are married. While some people may wish to wait until marriage to lose their virginity, I don't see a huge problem with losing it before you are married, only if you are personally ready for it.

Sorry Sparky, but I disagree with you there as I don't believe anyone should have sex at such a young age at 13. Many people don't even hit puberty at that age. I know I personally certainly wasn't ready at 13 years of age. You're still a 'kid' at that age in my opinion. People should have sex because their friends are all doing it. Many people at 16 (not all) think its 'cool' to have sex so therefore think they will be more liked by their peers if they do it. They might regret it later in life. It really doesn't bother me or not if people have sex when they are 17 or 19, but it does bother me when they have sex at 14 or younger. I just don't think anyone has fully matured to have sex at that ridiculously young age.

 

[Richard]

I was thinking about this on the way home from school.

I think the minimum age that someone should be allowed to lose their virginity is at 18. Why? because I think 18 is a sensible age to lose it, now come on, with laws in various places that say you can lose it at 16 is stupid, what's the point in having the age of consent at 16 but you have to be 18 to film it. It should be you have to be 18 for both.

 

[santinoistight44]

I'm sorry Sparky, but 13? That's ME going out at night and getting laid. I dont even want to have sex at this age. I think i am going to wait until i get married, so I dont have to worry about getting somone pregnant that i don't really care about. That would ruin my life, so I am going to play it safe. Condoms don't always work, so please don't just tell me to "use a condom."

 

[Tim]

When's the right time for sex? At least 16 years old, but this doesn't mean when you're 16 you should go out and get laid. Whenever you're ready and you are at least 16 years of age is the right time for sex. I'm 15, but I don't feel ready at the moment and I don't think i'll feel ready until i'm at least 20. It depends on who you're going to have it with as well. You should have sex with someone you love and because you love them for your first time, and not just for bragging rights. And I couldn't live with myself if I accidentally got the girl pregnant, i'd have to learn to be a father very early in life. It would really ruin my life if that happened, s I would have to alter my life so much to accommodate for the baby. So if you feel that you're ready, you're over 16, and you have considered that you could have a baby, then by all means, go ahead. But under 16 or having sex out of lust is just wrong.

 

[My$terio_Fan]

Wow are all americans like this? Or only people that post on "forums" and such. I think it's awesome that people wait til there 20 or married to have sex. It's very respectable, but in my grade 12 class last year(all 20 of us)I think their would be a total of 2 who hadn;t had sex. It seems like it everywhere where I live people have sex but at least 16. And now I'm in university where students range from 17-22 and everywhere you look or hear their are people having sex. But like I said, if you want to have sex, have sex, if you want to wait, wait doesn't matter in my book.

 

[ECW Dan Selby]

I was 19 - I'm 22 this month. Quite frankly, I hadn't had a proper girlfriend until 18 kind of time. I'd obviously had the 2-3 week things where all you seemed to do was "meet up the town" (what's up with that? lol) but I waited til my first proper relationship - And it was well worth it. I actually felt kind of pressured in to it myself as my girlfriend was quite keen (she'd only had sex once, and apparently it wasn't really all she'd hope'd it be. Or of course, that what she told me!! ha). So she was quite kind of, forward? But no, I don't regret it at all. It was the right time, and we ended up going out for the best part of 8 months.

Selby

 

[Buzz]

I was just turned 19 - it was with a guy I really liked and had known in the village since I was 14. I also went to all girls boarding school as a full boarder so that probably helped
I woulda probably stayed with him but my travels round the world (okay, I exagerrate - Canada - UK - NZ) meant we lasted 2 months. I would happily go back out with him if we ever lived close enough, but it's not gonna happen. Now tho', I want to wait til I'm in a serious relationship - because that's just how I feel.

 

[Monkey_Mania]

I was 16 when it happened. I was nowhere near ready. We took all the precautions and everything, but there is still that chance. I was not ready to be a father, nor did I have any idea what I was doing. I just went at it. Looking back I wish i would have waited. Now sex is kind of meaningless. I've made the decree that I will now wait until marriage. Lets see how long that lasts. Seriously though. You have to be ready, and at a young age you are NOT ready. For all the implications and things that can happen. Wait, its better for both you and you're partner if you do.

 

[Pimpin]

I was 16 when I had sex for da first time. I knew I was ready & da girl knew she was ready. Both of us took all da precautions & everything. The point is is that da right time to have sex is when you are at least 16 or 17 years old.

 

[The Undercover Man]

I have to start of by saying when i was 15 i lost my virginity, i enjoyed it but at that age the only two things i wanted to do was get laid and drunk. Its allways a "taboo" when talking about things like this because i personally think if you think your ready to have sex then why not go ahead and do it?

I'm not by any means saying i was ready at that tender age of 15 to have sex but it brang an aura of respectablity anytime my friends where around me and made me feel "in" with the group. Of course i was worried about the potential dangers of sex and i made sure i used appropriate measures not to get a sexually transmitted disease.

I'm 16 and still regretting when i lost my virginity this year, i felt pressured and forced into doing it rather then saying "yeah i'm ready". I enjoyed the experience but did'nt like the circumstances that had leaded upto to it.

So i personally think the right time for sex is when your ready for it, obviously don't follow my lead and get laid at 15 but i honestly think its upto the individual.

 

[Fizzy]

Well to me personally I think you should wait until you are in love with the person. It will be special and something you will never forget if you love them, and it may make your relationship stronger.

Having sex with someone you don't love like say a girlfriend you have had for a week or so, it's not special. Ok you have sex, it really does not make you a man, or make you any manlier? I think sex should be for people that are in love, and who want to share a special moment with eachother.

Now there is no specific age I would recommend, but I will say ages such as 13 or so are way to young. At that age you don't even know love, and you think it makes you cool to have sex. What happens when the girl gets pregnant and you are a fucking dad at 13? Condoms and birth control are only 99% effective anyway, so why risk it on someone you aren't in love with, when your not ready to face the consequences? At age 13 can you honestly say Sparky that you were ready to raise a kid, or live with a STD? I highly doubt you can say that considering I know for a fact you weren't.

I am still a virgin, I have a girlfriend who I am in love with, but we want to wait, and I am in no rush.

 

[Azrael Cain]

I've read in a magazine that if one has sex for the first time at too early an age (13 or 14) or too late an age (21-23), there can be negative psychological consequences. So, I guess scientifically between the ages of 16 and 20 is ideal...

...but socially, and from my point of view, I think the time to lose one's virginity is when one is fully ready and fully understands what sex is. Yes, sex is a natural animalistic act -- but humans aren't just mere animals, and so when we have sex there is emotional and mental baggage attached.

Having taken a slew of psychology courses, I would say that in order to handle the emotional and mental baggage that comes with sex (this is mostly for girls, as they are on the receiving end of all the pain and bleeding and what-have-you. Guys just have to stick the damn thing into the right hole, no big challenge) can be handled by 17, provided that one is introduced to the subject and is fully aware of what happens during sex, how to go about having sex, and what sex symbolizes.

When one is 15, or younger, "love" and "lust" are interchangeable and the difference between those emotions and just sheer horniness is indistinguishable. Giving into one's biological urges isn't a good thing while still a child. Our brains do not fully mature until we're what, 25? But in our later teens years, they are getting there.

All of this, of course, is idealistic bullshit. A person is going to have sex when he or she thinks he or she is ready, or when he or she thinks he or she is in "love." Now, I am not knocking teenage love -- it's possible. People have married their high school sweethearts. But people have also lost their virginity at 14 to a weed-smoking moron who cheats on them and then suffer from intimacy issues for the remainder of their lives.

Before you (the general you) have sex, think really long and really hard about what you're about to do. Try and wrap your mind around what's going to happen. And for Pete's sake, don't talk to your friends about it, or if you do, make sure it's a smart friend. As awkward as it might be, getting information from an adult is a lot better and smarter than a fellow 13 year old dolt (no offense, but when you younger folks will get older, you'll see for yourself ).

Myself, I was introduced to the subject and topic of sex at something like six years old... maybe younger... I knew what it was, I read books on it designed especially for young children and had talks with my mother before I ever reached double digits. Sex is not taboo in our household -- it is an open topic, and I was informed correctly... I am aware not everyone will do that, and that I may be an exception. Whoopteedoo. Regardless, I lost my virginity at 17 and (again) it was no big deal; the girl's the one with all the pressure, not us guys.

 

[klunderbunker]

This is going to sound corny and old fashioned but to me there's no question about it: the right time is on your wedding night and not before. I've had the opportunity to do so before then, and I, with a great deal of difficulty, passed on it knowing that I'd hate myself later for it. Waiting until the right time is critical because to me it would be nowhere near as special if the first time it happened with the person I loved with all my heart and was going to spend the rest of my life with. Call me old fashioned or stupid, but there's no way I'd do it at any time before.