klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Smackdown got a 1.9, up from last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: September 12, 2011
Location: Scotiabank Place, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
It's the go home show for Night of Champions and we still have no midcard title matches. The show should be interesting but I'm not wild on them giving us HHH vs. Punk already. Anyway tonight we're in Canada or Bizarro Land as WWE likes to call it. According to Del Rio on a radio show Bret will be there and there's nothing wrong with bringing him in for a Canada show. Let's get to it.
Alberto is in the ring to open the show and he talks about not getting respect. He lists off some accomplishments such as retiring Edge, injuring Rey and beating Punk at Summerslam. He wants respect and here's Bret. He talks about how you get respect and how Del Rio is all flash and talk. Bret is stumbling over lines and misspeaking. He's got his glasses on so he might be a bit drunk. Del Rio says Breth is old and looks like an illegal Canadian that cleans his house.
Del Rio threatens him with violence and here's Cena. Cena says he sees a Hall of Famer. He talks about how Del Rio has run from Cena for weeks now and says he should drive back to Mexico. Cena gets in a good line, listing off features of the cars (Cena being a known car guy) and saying Del Rio has no idea what he's talking about. He says let's fight right now and Del Rio agrees. Cena is STUNNED, but Del Rio means Cena vs. Ricardo Cena says the crowd noise makes him have ideas and the crowd actually cheers him. He suggests Alberto vs. Bret for the title tonight. Bret takes off the jacket and glasses and the fans erupt.
And never mind as Johnny Ace comes out and makes a tag match instead.
Alex Riley/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger
Only Morrison gets the tail end of an entrance here. That's a good way to save some time. Morrison and Ziggy start us off with Morrison taking over, hitting a huge Beautiful Disaster (yes I know that's what Cody calls it but it's the same move) and Ziggler sells it perfectly. Morrison misses a charge into the corner and his arm hits the post. Big elbow drop gets two for Dolph.
A double tag brings in Riley and Swagger with Riley hitting a worse than usual spinebuster. He clears house and hits an STO on Swagger for two. He needs to stick with the DDT and tries one on Swagger but is countered into the ankle lock. Riley rolls through it to send Swagger into Ziggler. A TKO ends Swagger at 2:50 with Ziggler not breaking up the pin despite there being no one to stop him. Ziggler yells at Vickie post match, calling Swagger a loser.
Miz and Truth take a walk with a mic and says just getting a tag match isn't enough to calm them down. Miz does the talking and runs down the talking segment with HH and Punk later. Truth says he thinks HHH has made a good decision. Miz: Really? Truth: Ninja please! Miz: What did you just say? Truth: I said Ninja WAZZAH please. That was one of the funniest lines I've heard in a long time.
They come into the arena minus music (nice touch of realism) and Truth says HHH is COO. If you say that twice you get Cuckoo, and that's what HHH is. The two of them should be in the main event of every PPV and they'll prove it right now.
Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz
This is after a break. Kofi does his thing and speeds it up to start. They exchange leapfrogs and go to the floor in a heap. Bourne and Truth glare at each other as we take a break. Back with Miz holding a chinlock until he shifts to ram Kofi's head into the mat for what looked like three but was called two. They seem off for some reason. Kofi hits a jumping double stomp and both guys are down.
This match is a mess and I can't get into it at all. Kofi starts his comeback and misses the kick but Truth gets involved anyway. He trips Kofi a bit and Miz is able to hit the Finale (screw writing out the whole title even though it would have been shorter than this part I'm writing here) for the pin at 8:39 total.
Teddy tells Vickie that the tag match earlier will be a fatal fourway for the US Title Sunday and Vickie freaks. Kelly is allegedly looking at them so Vickie yells at her. Vickie says she could beat Kelly. You know the rest.
We get a clip of Lawler/Ryder beating Otunga/McGillicutty last week. Tonight it's a rematch and Lawler has a mystery partner. They're in the ring and run their mouths a bit about how awesome they are. Lawler says McGillicutty has nothing on his daddy and Otunga failed his charisma classes at Harvard. Here's the partner.
Jerry Lawler/Sheamus vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty
Gee Lawler got over Sheamus kicking his head off in MSG a few years back. Lawler starts with Otunga but off to McMynameshouldbeJoeHennig quickly. If you can't figure out what's happening in this, too bad because I'm not feeling the review for it. Sheamus, Brogue Kick, Celtic Cross, McGillicutty, 2:30. The former champs were on offense about 20 seconds and I think you can fill in the blanks yourselves.
Ricardo is doing push-ups when Del Rio comes in to yell at him. He drinks....an aphrodisiac....and goes back to push-ups. Weird.
Bret Hart/John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio/Ricardo Rodriguez
Cena and Ricardo start us off and John plays matador with his shirt. I prefer Tito. The match is exactly what you would expect: Del Rio runs away while Cena destroys Ricardo. Del Rio comes in for a bit and doesn't stay in long. Alberto finally leaves and after Cena leaves him laying, Bret hooks a Sharpshooter for the submission at 3:15. Total comedy match.
Video on 9/11 and Smackdown airing two days later. That was indeed cool. Cena is narrating this.
Kelly Kelly vs. Vickie Guerrero
Kelly embarrasses her for a bit and then Jack comes down after Dolph. They get into an argument and Kelly rolls up a distracted Vickie at 1:20.
This show has been....what's the right word.....REALLY BORING.
Video on HHH. He's back in the ring on Sunday. I never would have gotten that guys.
Mark Henry says he'll be champion Sunday and he wants to be.
Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes
Cody pounds Randy down into the corner and that doesn't go all that well for him. Henry comes out so Orton grabs a chair and starts walking up the ramp, making Henry leave. Rhodes tries to jump him and that doesn't go well at all. Orton stomps him down in the corner and beats up Rhodes a bit. Henry comes back with a chair of his own and sits down on the stage.
Orton goes up after him but is unarmed as the chair he had was dropped between the ring and stage. He goes back to Rhodes instead and walks into a Beautiful Disaster off the apron as we take a break. Back with Rhodes holding a crossface chicken wing and working on the arm. There's a fan in the crowd with an old school IC Belt. Henry moves the chair closer to the ring. Rhodes escapes the elevated DDT but Orton escapes CrossRhodes and hits the DDT anyway. It's RKO time and Henry gets up and onto the steps, distracting Orton enough for a mask shot. CrossRhodes ends this at 10:24. Expect a rubber match Friday.
Henry hits him with a chair post match and yells a lot.
We get a quick recap of last week with HHH and Nash imploding.
Here are HHH and Punk for the final encounter. They talk about how Punk is held down because of the bodybuilder fetish and HHH retorts with Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley and someone else that I don't remember. Punk says the company doesn't listen to the fans which HHH disagrees with. Punk talks about the fans cheering for him at MSG and then nothing happened.
HHH runs down Punk's resume and says those sound like opportunities to him. He's got a great point there. HHH references the Cena story Punk told a few weeks ago and talks about Cena being the biggest star in this business by winning the fans over. He's absolutely right. HHH talks about how it's all about the fans and Punk cuts him off, saying they're cheering for me. HHH gets in the reality though: where have those fans been the last six years?
HHH goes on a huge rant about how Punk has a different philosophy and he's wrong. He goes on a better rant about how this is personal and not business because Punk made it personal. Punk says this is about change and this isn't Punk talking to HHH. It's Phil Brooks talking to Paul Levesque. The mic cuts out on Punk but then it comes on for HHH. It goes off again for Punk and Punk freaks.
HHH doesn't get what's going on and gets another mic. HHH hands it to Punk and it goes upside his head. Punk leaves him laying to end the show. The intensity from HHH was great here and he leaves Punk saying something like well yeah I haven't drawn ever and I was given a bunch of chances and I never really got them to work except this one but I'm still the best because I say so.
Results
Alex Riley/John Morrison b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger TKO to Swagger
The Miz b. Kofi Kingston Skull Crushing Finale
Sheamus/Jerry Lawler b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty Celtic Cross to McGillicutty
John Cena/Bret Hart b. Ricardo Rodriguez/Alberto Del Rio Sharpshooter to Rodriguez
Kelly Kelly b. Vickie Guerrero Rollup
Cody Rhodes b. Randy Orton CrossRhodes
Tuesday
Raw got a 2.7. Ouch. Remember this was against a double header of Monday Night Football although it wasn't a huge rating.
NXT
Date: September 13, 2011
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: William Regal, Jack Korpela
With this episode, we're officially as long as seasons one and two combined and longer than three and four combined. I mean dude, really? Do we really need 28 weeks of this show? I know I say this a lot but I'm still waiting on any reason for this thing to keep going on. The stories aren't bad but they're pretty low level issues. I'd bet on Striker/Regal vs. JTG/Young either tonight or next week. Let's get to it.
Regal and Striker open the show talking about hockey in Canada and here are Young and JTG to break it up. Hockey isn't even a real sport. Striker: I will cross check you in the head. The audio is a bit messed up and it sounds like they're in a tunnel. Striker says Regal is better than both of them and Regal wants a translation of what JTG just said. They talk about respect and just get to the tag match already. After about four minutes, there it is. Regal says he is STRAIGHT UP GANGSTA TRIPPIN! He puts on JTG's hat and we have our price of admission right there.
Bateman and Kidd vs. O'Neil and a mystery partner up next. Gee, could it be the guy Kidd has been feuding with for two months?
Derrick Bateman/Tyson Kidd vs. Titus O'Neil/Percy Watson
.oh joy. They're bringing back SOMEONE ELSE now. Also Titus has his own music now. I don't get the Watson idea though. I mean....why? He has no connection to this match or this feud but here he is on NXT. I'm trying to come up with people they haven't brought back yet and no one is coming to me. Korpela says Watson used to play in the NFL. He hits an enziguri to Kidd for two. Bateman distracts Percy and the heels take over.
Bateman, called a big man, hits a dropkick off the apron to put Watson down again. They work him over in the ring with Kidd working a front facelock. Jack wants to know where Horny is. He'd be the last Pro to leave so it would fit perfectly. Off to Bateman with a one armed camel clutch. I guess that's the one hump version. Tag to Kidd who hits a dropkick to Percy while he's in the double hump version.
Percy snaps off a really high dropkick to put Kidd down. Regal forgets his name but the hot tag to Titus makes it a moot point anyway. He cleans house and runs over Bateman a few times. A slam gets two as Tyson comes off the top with an elbow to the back of the head. Bateman gets two off that but walks into the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 7:06. I've said it time after time but just put Titus on the main roster already, because remember that if/when he wins this, he has to go through Season 6 and compete against guys like Tyler Black which puts him at an unfair disadvantage.
AJ can't get ahold of Horny and is tired of talking to his voicemail. She's worried about him. Maxine comes up and she asks where is he. Maxine suggests he went to Palm Springs with the Bellas. If that winds up being true, I might die of happiness. She has a picture on her phone and AJ doesn't believe it. This is kind of awesome actually. AJ leaves and Maxine says Photoshop is great.
AJ vs. Maxine
Maxine does look better as a blonde. Regal tells us that Maxine's father is a master cobbler and an amateur ventriloquist. That's either a completely true story or Regal is a genius. Now he's telling a story about a pair of conjoined twins he dated that drove to England on vacation from America. I'm cracking up at his delivery. Maxine works on a chinlock/choke and Regal wants her to be ex-wife #17 but she's too good looking for him.
All Maxine so far as Regal asks if the beautiful Divas worry about getting kicked in the face. It doesn't matter to him because he looked pretty with a broken nose. AJ is very flexible and I can't say I'm complaining. A spinning middle rope cross body gets two. She catches a kick from Maxine and hits a spinewheel kick for two. Maxine puts her in a fireman's carry and drops her across the top rope before hitting a jawbreaker kind of move for the pin at 5:45.
William Regal/Matt Striker vs. Darren Young/JTG
It's about 10:35 when this starts so they have a lot of time. Oh my goodness Michael Cole is coming out for commentary. Regal vs. JTG to start. The fans are behind Regal and we get an old school criss-cross. Like any good face, Regal stops and cheers JTG on then throws him over the top. Young is put in Shattered Dreams position and Regal/Striker pick JTG up and battering ram him into the balls of Young. That takes us to a break.
Back with Cole calling Korpela Jim instead of Jack. He bashes the main event and Regal gets an awesome bridge to get out of a top wristlock. Cole is blasting both teams other than Regal so at least he's not playing complete favorites. He has literally not shut up since we came back from the break. You have to give him this: the guy has energy and doesn't phone it in.
Striker gets beaten down by JTG as Cole runs down WWE for paying for Striker and Korpela to fly from show to show. He does however slip up and mention that McMahon is still in charge. Cole has still not shut up and is now talking about breakfast expenses run up by Korpela and Striker. I'm dying listening to this. Korpela tries to talk about the match and the story behind it but Cole is on a roll.
Cole says people on the street are talking about Darren Young. If they're on the street how do they get internet access to watch the show? It's been all JTG/Young beating on Striker since the break if you care about the match. If you do I'd recommend a head examination but have it your way. Cole is going on about hockey and how much the Maple Leafs suck now and it's hot tag to Regal. Everything breaks down as Regal and JTG head to the floor. This isn't good for Striker as he can't beat Young. Now Cole is going off about Striker's tan and Young rolls up Striker into that fireman's carry gutbuster for the pin at 11:05.
Post match the Usos of all people come out to beat down JTG and Young. No reason, no explanation, they're just there. That ends the show.
Results
Titus O'Neil/Percy Watson b. Tyson Kidd/Derrick Bateman Clash of the Titus to Bateman
Maxine b. AJ Jawbreaker
JTG/Darren Young b. William Regal/Matt Striker Fireman's carry into a gutbuster to Striker
Wednesday
Matt Hardy was arrested for DWI....again. Matt, get some help. Please. Further reports say it was a drug and not alcohol.
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: September 15, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
We're back home in Florida now and we're on the way to Bound For Glory. The BFG Series is over as well and we're in the Robert Roode Era as the main event (in name only) of BFG is him challenging Angle for the title. The main part of the show tonight though is Sting vs. Flair with Sting's career being on the line and Flair trying to prevent Sting vs. Hogan from happening. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the BFG Series matches resulting in Roode winning the tournament. Also Hogan helping Angle keep the title.
Here's Flair to open the show in robe and presumably ring gear underneath it. He wants to talk to Sting and here's the crazy man. Flair says tonight it's Icon vs. God. Sting has an old school colorful robe on. The only way Sting can get to Hogan is over Flair's dead body. Sting says Flair is going to die tonight then. He's the Stinger and he's going to do a lot of evil things to Flair. He's right in Flair's face and Sting wants it right now. Security comes in to break it up and Flair says Sting got lucky.
Jeff Hardy is here again.
Jeff says he's taking another step tonight as far as his recovery goes.
Mexican America vs. D-Von/D'Angelo Dinero/Tara/Miss Tessmacher
It's an 8 person mixed tag. Hernandez vs. D-Von gets us going with Hernandez asking D-Von to come at him. He does just that and down goes SuperMex. Off to Anarquia who gets beaten up by Pope a little bit. Despite having black hair, being a black man, being about 20 years younger and sounding nothing like him, Pope winds up playing Ricky Morton. Maybe he's a method actor or something.
That doesn't last long as he takes Hernandez down with a clothesline and a double tag brings in the other guys. The girls haven't been in legally at all yet. Clothesline/shoulder puts Anarquia down and a neckbreaker gets two. The fans chant USA as the good guys avoid stereo low blows. The chicks chase each other on the floor and the Mexican chicks hit on D-Von's kids. Instead of cheering them on like a normal dad would, D-Von and Pope aren't happy. The girls get in a big catfight and the male champs are sent to the floor. Despite being illegal, Tara and Tessmacher hit stereo moves (couldn't see Tessmacher but Tara hit a chokebomb on Rosita) for the pins at 5:04.
Karen yells at Traci about being late and says to cover up her boobs. Traci's jobs tonight is to bring the Knockouts to Karen's office.
Karen is yelling at the Knockouts and tells Mickie she gets no rematch. I don't see Winter. There will be three matches over the next three weeks to determine who qualifies for a fatal fourway at BFG for the title. Mickie fights Tessmacher, Tara vs. Madison and tonight Velvet vs. Angelina. They're called Queen's Qualifiers because if there's one thing you know about Russo, it's that he has a name for EVERYTHING.
Fourtune is in the ring and AJ brings out Roode for his big entrance. AJ sings his praises and Daniels does as well. Him beating AJ on a fluke a few weeks ago is mentioned a few times as Daniels brings it up at every possible chance. He brings it up a third time and everyone laughs it off. Kaz says they're a family and they'll have each others' backs. They all have goals and Kaz is lucky to be able to call Roode his brother and his friend. Time for the big one in Storm. After all the time he's missed with his family and everything he's sacrificed, this is the payoff. Storm sounds legit here.
Storm says he's sorry about Kurt's luck and here's the champ. He tries to convince the rest of Fourtune that they're jealous but no one seems to buy it. Angle calls the title the Impact World Heavyweight Championship. Angle has the ability to make matches now (what is he the fourth person in this company that can do that?) and Roode has to fight the members of Fourtune and tonight it's Kaz.
Back and Eric is proud of Kurt's decision.
Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love
Angelina jumps her during the entrance (the camera was on the wrong end anyway) but Velvet gets something resembling a bulldog to send Angelina to the floor. Back with Angelina getting two off something we don't see. Sky's tights now say Let the Pigeons Loose. Oh great. Just what Tazz needs: a thought that it's catching on. Sunset flip out of the corner gets two for Velvet. Velvet starts her comeback and tells Winter to get up on the apron. Winter clocks Angelina on the head with the belt (Hebner is cool with it) and a DDT (called a BeauDT but screw that) gives Velvet the win at 9:05 counting commercial.
Hardy comes up to AJ in the back and AJ doesn't want to hear it. He calls Jeff selfish and says he almost brought down the whole company. Jeff is selfish and people talk bad about TNA because of him. He's not out there drinking and doing drugs. AJ says there's never going to be a time or a place for Jeff to be around AJ. Good stuff from Styles here.
Hogan talks to Flair about the match and says he has a Plan B. Sting pops up and wants to hear Plan A.
Crimson is via satellite and talks about how he's going to make Joe pay. He's back in two weeks.
Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan
This is a submission match because.....because we needed a gimmick match. Joe jumps him in the corner which gives him an advantage for what must have been a good three seconds. Morgan beats him down but has no idea what to do as far as submissions go. He puts on a triangle armbar but Joe escapes. He gets up and pounds Morgan down then throws on kind of an inverted figure four for the tap at 4:30. I know that's a short recap but there's nothing else to say at all.
Kurt comes in to talk to Kaz again, offering him the next title shot after Roode. Kaz throws him out.
D-Von talks to Hardy and the truth is that Jeff is a Little Jimmy. Oh wait wrong show. The truth is that Jeff is trying to throw everything away. D-Von says get it through his head and be the Jeff Hardy he can be. At the end if Jeff fails again it's over. Jeff turns to leave and D-Von says he'll have Jeff's back if he needs it.
Kazarian vs. Robert Roode
Roode has some new tights which is a good thing as he needs something to set him apart as a singles guy now. They still have the dollar signs on them which doesn't make much sense as the money hasn't meant anything in a long time. They start technically and Roode grabs a front facelock. Kaz breaks out of it and tries his spinning legdrop but Roode moves.
Tornado DDT is countered into a northern lights suplex for two by Rob. Roode goes a bit harder now and Kaz is sent to the floor. Back inside he grabs a front facelock of his own but they speed it up a bit moer and Kaz tries the Fade to Black. Roode counters into the Crossface and Kaz hangs on for a bit but has to tap at 6:07.
Angle is watching in the back.
During the replay Taz calls the Fade to Black the Kryptonite Krunch. There's already a move called that and it's nowhere near the reverse piledriver.
Video about the premiere of Angle's new movie Warrior which has gotten really good reviews.
Roode and Kaz had a small argument during the break because Kaz wants to be in that position but he says Roode proved he was the right man for the spot and they shake hands. Roode says he wasn't expecting this match but they respect each other.
Austin Aries says he backs up his talk. It's now the A Double Division because he's a level above the A Level. Next week he makes his first defense.
Roode vs. Daniels next week and Mickie vs. Tessmacher.
Also Ray/Lynn vs. Anderson/RVD. Lynn says RVD is gullible and if RVD hadn't been high he would have caught on. Ray says he's been beating up RVD for 15 years but now he's tired of Anderson sticking his nose in other people's business.
Sting vs. Ric Flair
They start off with their usual Sting vs. Flair stuff with Flair getting frustrated because Sting keeps escaping his stuff. It's not exactly crisp but they're an average age of 57. We take a break and come back with Sting hitting a clothesline to send Flair to the floor. Back in Flair gets a low blow and after about two shots to the leg it's Figure Four time. Sting gets out of it and Flair works on the knee ever more.
Sting makes the superhero comeback and hits a superplex for two. It looked more like 3 but Immortal ran in late so the referee had to stop. Hogan and Abyss come out but Anderson runs out for the save. Hogan slips something to Flair and he KOs Sting for two. Flair throws a weak chop and Sting Hulks Up. Stinger Splash sets up the Scorpion and Flair taps at 15:06. Yes, fifteen minutes.
Hogan and Sting stare each other down to end the show.
Results
D-Von/D'Angelo Dinero/Tara/Miss Tessmacher b. Mexican America Chokebomb to Rosita
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love DDT
Samoa Joe b. Matt Morgan Inverted Figure Four
Robert Roode b. Kazarian Crossface
Sting b. Ric Flair Scorpion Deathlock
Smackdown got a 1.9, up from last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: September 12, 2011
Location: Scotiabank Place, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
It's the go home show for Night of Champions and we still have no midcard title matches. The show should be interesting but I'm not wild on them giving us HHH vs. Punk already. Anyway tonight we're in Canada or Bizarro Land as WWE likes to call it. According to Del Rio on a radio show Bret will be there and there's nothing wrong with bringing him in for a Canada show. Let's get to it.
Alberto is in the ring to open the show and he talks about not getting respect. He lists off some accomplishments such as retiring Edge, injuring Rey and beating Punk at Summerslam. He wants respect and here's Bret. He talks about how you get respect and how Del Rio is all flash and talk. Bret is stumbling over lines and misspeaking. He's got his glasses on so he might be a bit drunk. Del Rio says Breth is old and looks like an illegal Canadian that cleans his house.
Del Rio threatens him with violence and here's Cena. Cena says he sees a Hall of Famer. He talks about how Del Rio has run from Cena for weeks now and says he should drive back to Mexico. Cena gets in a good line, listing off features of the cars (Cena being a known car guy) and saying Del Rio has no idea what he's talking about. He says let's fight right now and Del Rio agrees. Cena is STUNNED, but Del Rio means Cena vs. Ricardo Cena says the crowd noise makes him have ideas and the crowd actually cheers him. He suggests Alberto vs. Bret for the title tonight. Bret takes off the jacket and glasses and the fans erupt.
And never mind as Johnny Ace comes out and makes a tag match instead.
Alex Riley/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger
Only Morrison gets the tail end of an entrance here. That's a good way to save some time. Morrison and Ziggy start us off with Morrison taking over, hitting a huge Beautiful Disaster (yes I know that's what Cody calls it but it's the same move) and Ziggler sells it perfectly. Morrison misses a charge into the corner and his arm hits the post. Big elbow drop gets two for Dolph.
A double tag brings in Riley and Swagger with Riley hitting a worse than usual spinebuster. He clears house and hits an STO on Swagger for two. He needs to stick with the DDT and tries one on Swagger but is countered into the ankle lock. Riley rolls through it to send Swagger into Ziggler. A TKO ends Swagger at 2:50 with Ziggler not breaking up the pin despite there being no one to stop him. Ziggler yells at Vickie post match, calling Swagger a loser.
Miz and Truth take a walk with a mic and says just getting a tag match isn't enough to calm them down. Miz does the talking and runs down the talking segment with HH and Punk later. Truth says he thinks HHH has made a good decision. Miz: Really? Truth: Ninja please! Miz: What did you just say? Truth: I said Ninja WAZZAH please. That was one of the funniest lines I've heard in a long time.
They come into the arena minus music (nice touch of realism) and Truth says HHH is COO. If you say that twice you get Cuckoo, and that's what HHH is. The two of them should be in the main event of every PPV and they'll prove it right now.
Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz
This is after a break. Kofi does his thing and speeds it up to start. They exchange leapfrogs and go to the floor in a heap. Bourne and Truth glare at each other as we take a break. Back with Miz holding a chinlock until he shifts to ram Kofi's head into the mat for what looked like three but was called two. They seem off for some reason. Kofi hits a jumping double stomp and both guys are down.
This match is a mess and I can't get into it at all. Kofi starts his comeback and misses the kick but Truth gets involved anyway. He trips Kofi a bit and Miz is able to hit the Finale (screw writing out the whole title even though it would have been shorter than this part I'm writing here) for the pin at 8:39 total.
Teddy tells Vickie that the tag match earlier will be a fatal fourway for the US Title Sunday and Vickie freaks. Kelly is allegedly looking at them so Vickie yells at her. Vickie says she could beat Kelly. You know the rest.
We get a clip of Lawler/Ryder beating Otunga/McGillicutty last week. Tonight it's a rematch and Lawler has a mystery partner. They're in the ring and run their mouths a bit about how awesome they are. Lawler says McGillicutty has nothing on his daddy and Otunga failed his charisma classes at Harvard. Here's the partner.
Jerry Lawler/Sheamus vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty
Gee Lawler got over Sheamus kicking his head off in MSG a few years back. Lawler starts with Otunga but off to McMynameshouldbeJoeHennig quickly. If you can't figure out what's happening in this, too bad because I'm not feeling the review for it. Sheamus, Brogue Kick, Celtic Cross, McGillicutty, 2:30. The former champs were on offense about 20 seconds and I think you can fill in the blanks yourselves.
Ricardo is doing push-ups when Del Rio comes in to yell at him. He drinks....an aphrodisiac....and goes back to push-ups. Weird.
Bret Hart/John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio/Ricardo Rodriguez
Cena and Ricardo start us off and John plays matador with his shirt. I prefer Tito. The match is exactly what you would expect: Del Rio runs away while Cena destroys Ricardo. Del Rio comes in for a bit and doesn't stay in long. Alberto finally leaves and after Cena leaves him laying, Bret hooks a Sharpshooter for the submission at 3:15. Total comedy match.
Video on 9/11 and Smackdown airing two days later. That was indeed cool. Cena is narrating this.
Kelly Kelly vs. Vickie Guerrero
Kelly embarrasses her for a bit and then Jack comes down after Dolph. They get into an argument and Kelly rolls up a distracted Vickie at 1:20.
This show has been....what's the right word.....REALLY BORING.
Video on HHH. He's back in the ring on Sunday. I never would have gotten that guys.
Mark Henry says he'll be champion Sunday and he wants to be.
Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes
Cody pounds Randy down into the corner and that doesn't go all that well for him. Henry comes out so Orton grabs a chair and starts walking up the ramp, making Henry leave. Rhodes tries to jump him and that doesn't go well at all. Orton stomps him down in the corner and beats up Rhodes a bit. Henry comes back with a chair of his own and sits down on the stage.
Orton goes up after him but is unarmed as the chair he had was dropped between the ring and stage. He goes back to Rhodes instead and walks into a Beautiful Disaster off the apron as we take a break. Back with Rhodes holding a crossface chicken wing and working on the arm. There's a fan in the crowd with an old school IC Belt. Henry moves the chair closer to the ring. Rhodes escapes the elevated DDT but Orton escapes CrossRhodes and hits the DDT anyway. It's RKO time and Henry gets up and onto the steps, distracting Orton enough for a mask shot. CrossRhodes ends this at 10:24. Expect a rubber match Friday.
Henry hits him with a chair post match and yells a lot.
We get a quick recap of last week with HHH and Nash imploding.
Here are HHH and Punk for the final encounter. They talk about how Punk is held down because of the bodybuilder fetish and HHH retorts with Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley and someone else that I don't remember. Punk says the company doesn't listen to the fans which HHH disagrees with. Punk talks about the fans cheering for him at MSG and then nothing happened.
HHH runs down Punk's resume and says those sound like opportunities to him. He's got a great point there. HHH references the Cena story Punk told a few weeks ago and talks about Cena being the biggest star in this business by winning the fans over. He's absolutely right. HHH talks about how it's all about the fans and Punk cuts him off, saying they're cheering for me. HHH gets in the reality though: where have those fans been the last six years?
HHH goes on a huge rant about how Punk has a different philosophy and he's wrong. He goes on a better rant about how this is personal and not business because Punk made it personal. Punk says this is about change and this isn't Punk talking to HHH. It's Phil Brooks talking to Paul Levesque. The mic cuts out on Punk but then it comes on for HHH. It goes off again for Punk and Punk freaks.
HHH doesn't get what's going on and gets another mic. HHH hands it to Punk and it goes upside his head. Punk leaves him laying to end the show. The intensity from HHH was great here and he leaves Punk saying something like well yeah I haven't drawn ever and I was given a bunch of chances and I never really got them to work except this one but I'm still the best because I say so.
Results
Alex Riley/John Morrison b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger TKO to Swagger
The Miz b. Kofi Kingston Skull Crushing Finale
Sheamus/Jerry Lawler b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty Celtic Cross to McGillicutty
John Cena/Bret Hart b. Ricardo Rodriguez/Alberto Del Rio Sharpshooter to Rodriguez
Kelly Kelly b. Vickie Guerrero Rollup
Cody Rhodes b. Randy Orton CrossRhodes
Tuesday
Raw got a 2.7. Ouch. Remember this was against a double header of Monday Night Football although it wasn't a huge rating.
NXT
Date: September 13, 2011
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: William Regal, Jack Korpela
With this episode, we're officially as long as seasons one and two combined and longer than three and four combined. I mean dude, really? Do we really need 28 weeks of this show? I know I say this a lot but I'm still waiting on any reason for this thing to keep going on. The stories aren't bad but they're pretty low level issues. I'd bet on Striker/Regal vs. JTG/Young either tonight or next week. Let's get to it.
Regal and Striker open the show talking about hockey in Canada and here are Young and JTG to break it up. Hockey isn't even a real sport. Striker: I will cross check you in the head. The audio is a bit messed up and it sounds like they're in a tunnel. Striker says Regal is better than both of them and Regal wants a translation of what JTG just said. They talk about respect and just get to the tag match already. After about four minutes, there it is. Regal says he is STRAIGHT UP GANGSTA TRIPPIN! He puts on JTG's hat and we have our price of admission right there.
Bateman and Kidd vs. O'Neil and a mystery partner up next. Gee, could it be the guy Kidd has been feuding with for two months?
Derrick Bateman/Tyson Kidd vs. Titus O'Neil/Percy Watson
.oh joy. They're bringing back SOMEONE ELSE now. Also Titus has his own music now. I don't get the Watson idea though. I mean....why? He has no connection to this match or this feud but here he is on NXT. I'm trying to come up with people they haven't brought back yet and no one is coming to me. Korpela says Watson used to play in the NFL. He hits an enziguri to Kidd for two. Bateman distracts Percy and the heels take over.
Bateman, called a big man, hits a dropkick off the apron to put Watson down again. They work him over in the ring with Kidd working a front facelock. Jack wants to know where Horny is. He'd be the last Pro to leave so it would fit perfectly. Off to Bateman with a one armed camel clutch. I guess that's the one hump version. Tag to Kidd who hits a dropkick to Percy while he's in the double hump version.
Percy snaps off a really high dropkick to put Kidd down. Regal forgets his name but the hot tag to Titus makes it a moot point anyway. He cleans house and runs over Bateman a few times. A slam gets two as Tyson comes off the top with an elbow to the back of the head. Bateman gets two off that but walks into the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 7:06. I've said it time after time but just put Titus on the main roster already, because remember that if/when he wins this, he has to go through Season 6 and compete against guys like Tyler Black which puts him at an unfair disadvantage.
AJ can't get ahold of Horny and is tired of talking to his voicemail. She's worried about him. Maxine comes up and she asks where is he. Maxine suggests he went to Palm Springs with the Bellas. If that winds up being true, I might die of happiness. She has a picture on her phone and AJ doesn't believe it. This is kind of awesome actually. AJ leaves and Maxine says Photoshop is great.
AJ vs. Maxine
Maxine does look better as a blonde. Regal tells us that Maxine's father is a master cobbler and an amateur ventriloquist. That's either a completely true story or Regal is a genius. Now he's telling a story about a pair of conjoined twins he dated that drove to England on vacation from America. I'm cracking up at his delivery. Maxine works on a chinlock/choke and Regal wants her to be ex-wife #17 but she's too good looking for him.
All Maxine so far as Regal asks if the beautiful Divas worry about getting kicked in the face. It doesn't matter to him because he looked pretty with a broken nose. AJ is very flexible and I can't say I'm complaining. A spinning middle rope cross body gets two. She catches a kick from Maxine and hits a spinewheel kick for two. Maxine puts her in a fireman's carry and drops her across the top rope before hitting a jawbreaker kind of move for the pin at 5:45.
William Regal/Matt Striker vs. Darren Young/JTG
It's about 10:35 when this starts so they have a lot of time. Oh my goodness Michael Cole is coming out for commentary. Regal vs. JTG to start. The fans are behind Regal and we get an old school criss-cross. Like any good face, Regal stops and cheers JTG on then throws him over the top. Young is put in Shattered Dreams position and Regal/Striker pick JTG up and battering ram him into the balls of Young. That takes us to a break.
Back with Cole calling Korpela Jim instead of Jack. He bashes the main event and Regal gets an awesome bridge to get out of a top wristlock. Cole is blasting both teams other than Regal so at least he's not playing complete favorites. He has literally not shut up since we came back from the break. You have to give him this: the guy has energy and doesn't phone it in.
Striker gets beaten down by JTG as Cole runs down WWE for paying for Striker and Korpela to fly from show to show. He does however slip up and mention that McMahon is still in charge. Cole has still not shut up and is now talking about breakfast expenses run up by Korpela and Striker. I'm dying listening to this. Korpela tries to talk about the match and the story behind it but Cole is on a roll.
Cole says people on the street are talking about Darren Young. If they're on the street how do they get internet access to watch the show? It's been all JTG/Young beating on Striker since the break if you care about the match. If you do I'd recommend a head examination but have it your way. Cole is going on about hockey and how much the Maple Leafs suck now and it's hot tag to Regal. Everything breaks down as Regal and JTG head to the floor. This isn't good for Striker as he can't beat Young. Now Cole is going off about Striker's tan and Young rolls up Striker into that fireman's carry gutbuster for the pin at 11:05.
Post match the Usos of all people come out to beat down JTG and Young. No reason, no explanation, they're just there. That ends the show.
Results
Titus O'Neil/Percy Watson b. Tyson Kidd/Derrick Bateman Clash of the Titus to Bateman
Maxine b. AJ Jawbreaker
JTG/Darren Young b. William Regal/Matt Striker Fireman's carry into a gutbuster to Striker
Wednesday
Matt Hardy was arrested for DWI....again. Matt, get some help. Please. Further reports say it was a drug and not alcohol.
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: September 15, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
We're back home in Florida now and we're on the way to Bound For Glory. The BFG Series is over as well and we're in the Robert Roode Era as the main event (in name only) of BFG is him challenging Angle for the title. The main part of the show tonight though is Sting vs. Flair with Sting's career being on the line and Flair trying to prevent Sting vs. Hogan from happening. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the BFG Series matches resulting in Roode winning the tournament. Also Hogan helping Angle keep the title.
Here's Flair to open the show in robe and presumably ring gear underneath it. He wants to talk to Sting and here's the crazy man. Flair says tonight it's Icon vs. God. Sting has an old school colorful robe on. The only way Sting can get to Hogan is over Flair's dead body. Sting says Flair is going to die tonight then. He's the Stinger and he's going to do a lot of evil things to Flair. He's right in Flair's face and Sting wants it right now. Security comes in to break it up and Flair says Sting got lucky.
Jeff Hardy is here again.
Jeff says he's taking another step tonight as far as his recovery goes.
Mexican America vs. D-Von/D'Angelo Dinero/Tara/Miss Tessmacher
It's an 8 person mixed tag. Hernandez vs. D-Von gets us going with Hernandez asking D-Von to come at him. He does just that and down goes SuperMex. Off to Anarquia who gets beaten up by Pope a little bit. Despite having black hair, being a black man, being about 20 years younger and sounding nothing like him, Pope winds up playing Ricky Morton. Maybe he's a method actor or something.
That doesn't last long as he takes Hernandez down with a clothesline and a double tag brings in the other guys. The girls haven't been in legally at all yet. Clothesline/shoulder puts Anarquia down and a neckbreaker gets two. The fans chant USA as the good guys avoid stereo low blows. The chicks chase each other on the floor and the Mexican chicks hit on D-Von's kids. Instead of cheering them on like a normal dad would, D-Von and Pope aren't happy. The girls get in a big catfight and the male champs are sent to the floor. Despite being illegal, Tara and Tessmacher hit stereo moves (couldn't see Tessmacher but Tara hit a chokebomb on Rosita) for the pins at 5:04.
Karen yells at Traci about being late and says to cover up her boobs. Traci's jobs tonight is to bring the Knockouts to Karen's office.
Karen is yelling at the Knockouts and tells Mickie she gets no rematch. I don't see Winter. There will be three matches over the next three weeks to determine who qualifies for a fatal fourway at BFG for the title. Mickie fights Tessmacher, Tara vs. Madison and tonight Velvet vs. Angelina. They're called Queen's Qualifiers because if there's one thing you know about Russo, it's that he has a name for EVERYTHING.
Fourtune is in the ring and AJ brings out Roode for his big entrance. AJ sings his praises and Daniels does as well. Him beating AJ on a fluke a few weeks ago is mentioned a few times as Daniels brings it up at every possible chance. He brings it up a third time and everyone laughs it off. Kaz says they're a family and they'll have each others' backs. They all have goals and Kaz is lucky to be able to call Roode his brother and his friend. Time for the big one in Storm. After all the time he's missed with his family and everything he's sacrificed, this is the payoff. Storm sounds legit here.
Storm says he's sorry about Kurt's luck and here's the champ. He tries to convince the rest of Fourtune that they're jealous but no one seems to buy it. Angle calls the title the Impact World Heavyweight Championship. Angle has the ability to make matches now (what is he the fourth person in this company that can do that?) and Roode has to fight the members of Fourtune and tonight it's Kaz.
Back and Eric is proud of Kurt's decision.
Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love
Angelina jumps her during the entrance (the camera was on the wrong end anyway) but Velvet gets something resembling a bulldog to send Angelina to the floor. Back with Angelina getting two off something we don't see. Sky's tights now say Let the Pigeons Loose. Oh great. Just what Tazz needs: a thought that it's catching on. Sunset flip out of the corner gets two for Velvet. Velvet starts her comeback and tells Winter to get up on the apron. Winter clocks Angelina on the head with the belt (Hebner is cool with it) and a DDT (called a BeauDT but screw that) gives Velvet the win at 9:05 counting commercial.
Hardy comes up to AJ in the back and AJ doesn't want to hear it. He calls Jeff selfish and says he almost brought down the whole company. Jeff is selfish and people talk bad about TNA because of him. He's not out there drinking and doing drugs. AJ says there's never going to be a time or a place for Jeff to be around AJ. Good stuff from Styles here.
Hogan talks to Flair about the match and says he has a Plan B. Sting pops up and wants to hear Plan A.
Crimson is via satellite and talks about how he's going to make Joe pay. He's back in two weeks.
Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan
This is a submission match because.....because we needed a gimmick match. Joe jumps him in the corner which gives him an advantage for what must have been a good three seconds. Morgan beats him down but has no idea what to do as far as submissions go. He puts on a triangle armbar but Joe escapes. He gets up and pounds Morgan down then throws on kind of an inverted figure four for the tap at 4:30. I know that's a short recap but there's nothing else to say at all.
Kurt comes in to talk to Kaz again, offering him the next title shot after Roode. Kaz throws him out.
D-Von talks to Hardy and the truth is that Jeff is a Little Jimmy. Oh wait wrong show. The truth is that Jeff is trying to throw everything away. D-Von says get it through his head and be the Jeff Hardy he can be. At the end if Jeff fails again it's over. Jeff turns to leave and D-Von says he'll have Jeff's back if he needs it.
Kazarian vs. Robert Roode
Roode has some new tights which is a good thing as he needs something to set him apart as a singles guy now. They still have the dollar signs on them which doesn't make much sense as the money hasn't meant anything in a long time. They start technically and Roode grabs a front facelock. Kaz breaks out of it and tries his spinning legdrop but Roode moves.
Tornado DDT is countered into a northern lights suplex for two by Rob. Roode goes a bit harder now and Kaz is sent to the floor. Back inside he grabs a front facelock of his own but they speed it up a bit moer and Kaz tries the Fade to Black. Roode counters into the Crossface and Kaz hangs on for a bit but has to tap at 6:07.
Angle is watching in the back.
During the replay Taz calls the Fade to Black the Kryptonite Krunch. There's already a move called that and it's nowhere near the reverse piledriver.
Video about the premiere of Angle's new movie Warrior which has gotten really good reviews.
Roode and Kaz had a small argument during the break because Kaz wants to be in that position but he says Roode proved he was the right man for the spot and they shake hands. Roode says he wasn't expecting this match but they respect each other.
Austin Aries says he backs up his talk. It's now the A Double Division because he's a level above the A Level. Next week he makes his first defense.
Roode vs. Daniels next week and Mickie vs. Tessmacher.
Also Ray/Lynn vs. Anderson/RVD. Lynn says RVD is gullible and if RVD hadn't been high he would have caught on. Ray says he's been beating up RVD for 15 years but now he's tired of Anderson sticking his nose in other people's business.
Sting vs. Ric Flair
They start off with their usual Sting vs. Flair stuff with Flair getting frustrated because Sting keeps escaping his stuff. It's not exactly crisp but they're an average age of 57. We take a break and come back with Sting hitting a clothesline to send Flair to the floor. Back in Flair gets a low blow and after about two shots to the leg it's Figure Four time. Sting gets out of it and Flair works on the knee ever more.
Sting makes the superhero comeback and hits a superplex for two. It looked more like 3 but Immortal ran in late so the referee had to stop. Hogan and Abyss come out but Anderson runs out for the save. Hogan slips something to Flair and he KOs Sting for two. Flair throws a weak chop and Sting Hulks Up. Stinger Splash sets up the Scorpion and Flair taps at 15:06. Yes, fifteen minutes.
Hogan and Sting stare each other down to end the show.
Results
D-Von/D'Angelo Dinero/Tara/Miss Tessmacher b. Mexican America Chokebomb to Rosita
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love DDT
Samoa Joe b. Matt Morgan Inverted Figure Four
Robert Roode b. Kazarian Crossface
Sting b. Ric Flair Scorpion Deathlock