klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Smackdown got a 1.8, down from last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: September 19, 2011
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Well we're past Night of Champions and it's time for the huge thirteen days long build for Hell in a Cell. Yes, we have two weeks between PPVs and they have the nerve to wonder why the buyrates are so low. Anyway, HHH is still the boss and Cena is the champion again. We're hopefully going to get an explanation for some of the things last night even though I don't get most of the complaints out of it. Let's get to it.
Oh and Hugh Jackman is guest host.
Cole promises the fallout from last night in tonight's main event but doesn't say what it is.
Here's Punk to open the show and he's looking a little ginger. This is a bad arena for Punk as he had to forfeit the title back in 08 and Holly clocked him in the head here once and messed up his vision. However, he might have to admit he was wrong about the Conspiracy because maybe it does exist. It's not the one Awesome Truth is talking about but...and here's HHH with a rebuttal already.
HHH says they went to war last night but today he's still the COO. He's going to do his job first though and make it a triple threat Cell match with Punk vs. Cena vs. Del Rio. Ok that's the right move to go with. As for the Conspiracy, HHH has no idea what it's going to take to get it through Punk's head but if they have to go to war again, let's do it and there goes the jacket and most of the tie. Punk is cool with that too but says put the tie back on.
Before HHH interrupted him, Punk's point was going to be that someone is using their animosity between each other to play the both of them. He still says there's a Conspiracy but it doesn't involve HHH. It's someone higher up on the ladder if you know what I mean. Punk starts talking about Punk and Miz but here's Johnny Ace again to say that's enough.
He says Punk is lying and tells HHH to not believe it. Punk says he's upset and Ace says that he's upset too. Ace says that Punk is going too far with this and Ace is tired of the disrespect. He claims to not want to be COO but Punk doesn't buy it. HHH tells him to chill and Ace fires Punk. That lasts about a second as HHH says no you're not fired. He's not sure what's going on with the Conspiracy but he's going to get to the bottom of it and tonight, someone is getting fired.
Wade Barrett/Christian/Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga vs. Aim Boom/Sheamus/Justin Gabriel
Kofi and Bourne are in bright green tonight. Gabriel vs. Please Just Call Me Joe Hennig Already starts us off. It's off to Bourne quickly and the heel team gets a chance to beat him down one by one. All four have gotten a shot at him so far so I won't bother going into a description of all four of them. Cole says enough is enough for Christian and even apologizes for interrupting JR.
Hot tag brings in Sheamus and he beats up everyone, namely Otunga who takes an Irish Curse for two. Everything breaks down and here's Kofi with a huge cross body to take out Barrett. JR messes up and says WWF Tag Champions (mini-censoring) as Christian's spear is broken up by a kick to the head. Brogue Kick and Celtic Cross kill Otunga for the pin at 4:40.
HHH is interviewing people to try to figure out what's going on. Alberto comes in and doesn't like the title match at HIAC. Alberto is a lot taller than I thought he was. He says HHH is awful at his job and he wants Vince to come back and run things. HHH says Alberto will need his prayers for himself in the Cell.
Alberto Del Rio vs. John Morrison
Del Rio goes for the armbreaker immediately but Morrison gets an enziguri to put him down. Del Rio hits what looked like a Stunner but I guess he had the arm. He hits the same move on the ropes that he hurt Rey with...and the armbreaker ends this at 55 seconds? What the heck?
Here's Hugh Jackman who gets a decent reaction. It's a good idea to have the host be someone that plays a tough guy most of the time. He seems fired up for this and has a really thick Australian accent. He says if you like WWE you'll like his new movie Real Steel which is about something like robots fighting. Ok that works. Here are Vickie and Dolph to interrupt though. Cole: The Cougar vs. The Wolverine!
Vickie hits on Jackman and Dolph isn't happy. Vickie says she's the hottest Diva and Dolph objects again. She introduces Dolph and Dolph confuses him with Christian Bale. Dolph talks about beating humans last night, not robots, sorry Mason Ryan. Dolph says that's a movie and this is as real as it gets.
They stare each other down and talk about underdogs and Jackman says he'll find an underdog to face Dolph tonight. Dolph says cool but the beating is on Jackman's hands. The fans start a BIG we want Ryder chant. Jackman goes to the floor and grabs a sign saying Ryder > Wolverine. Well you can't say he's not trying. Hey he stole the sign!
Awesome Truth arrives and Ace meets them, saying HHH wants to see them. They're very apologetic and say they're sorry to Truth and will be right there to see The Game. Ace leaves and they stay the same.
Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes
We think this is the original Cara but we're not sure. This is non-title I think. Before the match starts here's the other Sin Cara who moves more like the Hunico (false) version. Cody is gone so there's no match. From what I can find, Mistico (original) is the shorter one. The bigger one jumps the smaller one and it turns into a brawl. The fans really aren't sure what to make of this. One of them (can't tell as they're not together anymore) is sent up the ramp and that's it. Cody just left when the other Cara came in.
Awesome Truth comes in to see HHH and Miz is all sad. They say there's still a Conspiracy but they don't think HHH is part of it. Both apologize individually. Truth must be serious because he apologizes to the Little Jimmies. HHH doesn't move while this is being said. He looks at them both and says fine and accepts the apology. Since they put their hands on an official, they're being fined $250,000 each and he expects the checks Monday morning. They start to leave but HHH stops them and says they have a match with Punk and Cena tonight.
Here's Henry for his first interview as champion. JR is doing the interview and before Henry comes out we're told that it's Orton vs. Henry in the Cell for the title. JR congratulates him and says Henry proved his naysayers wrong. Henry says JR was one of them and he'll deal with the naysayers in a minute. He doesn't know much about the Cell but he'll keep the title.
Henry yells at JR, saying JR is going to apologize for all the naysayers and he'll apologize to the champ. Henry brings up that JR wanted Vince to fire him at one point. He holds up the belt and says that's all that needs to be said. JR apologizes but Henry grabs him by the throat anyway. He screams Henry is hurting him and Jerry comes in to try to calm Henry down. Henry lets JR go but grabs Jerry, saying he'll take Ross' place.
Lawler tries to fight and that doesn't work at all. Lawler takes the World's Strongest Slam and Henry kicks him to the floor. He loads up the announce table and Jerry is out for all intents and purposes. There's a World's Strongest Slam through the table and Lawler isn't moving other than writhing in pain. Henry takes his title and leaves as we go to a break.
Post break Lawler is being carried out. Josh Matthews comes out to help on commentary.
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya
Kelly gets a bit better reception here than last night. She and Beth start us off. Cole tries to play off last night's match as a fluke because Beth put too much pressure on herself. Off to Kelly who fires off some kicks but gets taken down to bring in the Canadian. Eve makes Natalya miss a charge and Eve rolls her up for the pin at 1:45. Josh says that Kelly is on a roll.
Jackman picks Ryder because you can't be much more of an underdog than him. Woo woo Hugh, you know it!
Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ryder has Jackman with him and Jackman put on a headband for this. The guy is into this. Ryder gets in a quick shot for two. Big Ryder chant breaks out and Jackman plays cheerleader. Ryder hits the running boot in the corner for two. And yes, the referee is serious about it being two. Dolph takes over with a superkick and a sweet dropkick for two. Ryder gets a knee up in the corner and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Vickie slaps Ryder and is ejected. Jackman uses the distraction to pop Ziggler and the Rough Ryder gives Ryder the pin at 3:08. Cole: That was a real steal for Ryder.
Swagger, dressed to kill, comes up to Vickie in the back and says he can get Vickie to meet Jackman if she wants and the managerial deal is set. Swagger walks away and sees Ziggler who he smiles at.
Punk is getting ready and Cena is behind him. Cena says they're a lot alike and the dueling chants begin. He says he respects Punk and talks about the Cell match. Cena says it'll be history and Punk says it would be history if Cena was the first WWE Champion to be fired.
Video on the Cell and how evil it is.
Awesome Truth vs. John Cena/CM Punk
Awesome Truth does their You Suck song on the way to the ring. Charles Robinson is referee. I haven't seen him in forever. Cena throws his shirt to a guy holding what appears to be twins in Cena gear. Cool move. Miz shakes the referee's hand and apologizes for last night. Wait Robinson was the referee last night? Off to Punk who is all smiley. The new Super Best Friends take over and a legdrop gets two. Off to Truth who takes a northern lights suplex for two.
It's time for a rematch of the main event of Wrestlemania and the dueling chants begin. Miz gets the short DDT for two as we take a break. Back with Miz getting another two off something we don't see. Off to Truth who puts on a chin/headlock but Cena suplexes his way out of it. Miz peppers Cena with left hands but Cena grabs a gutwrench suplex to escape. Truth breaks up the tag again and Miz holds the tag rope instead of stomping Cena when the ref isn't looking.
Earlier tonight Cena said he and Punk could be the new Rock and Roll Express so my Ricky Morton reference isn't as much of a stretch now. Cena finally takes Miz down and there's the hot tag to Punk. He hits a spinning falcon's arrow to Truth and the knee/bulldog/clothesline to Miz. He calls for the GTS but Miz elbows out. Awesome Truth almost collides so Punk sends Miz into Truth and the GTS ends this at 13:09.
Post match HHH comes out and says good match to Punk (nothing to Cena) and fires Miz and Truth!
They go after HHH who has left and we cut to the back to see the roster watching on monitors. HHH comes in and the guys warn him but Awesome Truth jumps him. The roster breaks it up and Regal and Swagger throw them out with HHH saying get them out of my building. HHH storms off into the back to end the show.
Results
Air Boom/Justin Gabriel/Sheamus b. Christian/Wade Barrett/David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty Celtic Cross to Otunga
Alberto Del Rio b. John Morrison Cross Armbreaker
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Natalya/Beth Phoenix Rollup to Natalya
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler Rough Ryder
John Cena/CM Punk b. Awesome Truth GTS to Miz
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.0, up from last week's 2.7.
NXT
Date: September 20, 2011
Location: Wright State University Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: William Regal, Jack Korpela
I'm not going to bother talking about the competition or what week it is anymore until we get to a milestone or something like that. I'm not sure where they're going to go with the stories as a lot of stuff was wrapped up last week. We have the old guys vs. the new guys still but that can only go so far. Regal and Striker got a pretty definitive win but I guess it's time for the Uso Era now. Let's get to it.
We open with the Percy Watson Show. He's been back a week and he has a talk show? Anyway he brings out O'Neil with both guys being in suits. Titus talks about it being a long 29 weeks and says they should take a run at the tag titles after the season ends. Here are JTG and Young with a rebuttal. JTG says he's a tag team specialist. It seems like JTG is Young's pro now. Titus brings up the Usos running them off last week and JTG calls the Usos haters. Watson says he and Titus dress better and a tag match is made...I think. They brawl and Titus/Watson clears the ring.
AJ vs. Maxine
We get a clip from last week with the match they had already where Maxine won. Regal talks about Maxine's uncle being a Peruvian hunchback pickpocket. He also makes saddles for seahorses. At least both chicks look good. Maxine controls early and grabs a chinlock. Off to a Liontamer with her foot on the head and that's illegal apparently as the referee breaks it up. AJ grabs a pair of rollups for two each and Maxine takes over again.
Regal talks about pulling hair and Maxine puts on chinlock #3 of a four minute match. AJ tries to speed things up and Maxine's shoulder goes into the post. Spin kick gets two for AJ. Maxine tries that same move she hit last week but AJ kicks her in the back and hits a Shining Wizard (called that by Regal) for the pin at 5:14.
HHH's movie trailer and the Raw ReBound (all about Ryder/Jackman/Ziggler and zero about the firing or HHH etc) eat up a bunch of time.
Horny is in the back with a letter for AJ. Maxine comes in and implies sex between Tyson and AJ. Maxine keeps walking and finds Bateman and Kidd. Kidd leaves and Maxine says they're this close to separating AJ and Horny. They make out.
Yoshi Tatsu vs. Derrick Bateman
Tatsu takes it to the mat and still has the paint on half of his face. Bateman chops away and Tatsu has white paint all over his chest. Yoshi drops a Muta style elbow for two and Bateman hits the floor. Tatsu gets sent into the post balls first and there's paint on the mat now. He needs to look into some higher quality stuff. Back in the ring and Tatsu gets taken down by a clothesline for two. Bateman's offense is pretty boring.
There's an abdominal stretch but he shifts into a pumphandle backbreaker for two. Now Tatsu has the same stretch on Bateman but that's quickly broken up. Tatsu fires away with strikes and a running kick in the corner and a big kick gets two. Cross body off the top gets two. Another attempt is rolled through for another two. A big kick puts Bateman down but Kidd runs in for the DQ at 6:43.
AJ talks to Trent Barreta but Titus comes up and Trent leaves. Titus says make up with Horny but she's not sure. Titus leaves and Horny is behind him. Horny leaves after shaking his head.
Titus O'Neil/Percy Watson vs. JTG/Darren Young
Percy vs. Young to start and Percy gets a butterfly suplex for two. Off to Titus who powers down Young with ease. And now we're talking about Air Boom. Watson throws on an armbar and it's off to Titus again. All Watson/O'Neil here. Young is thrown to the floor as we take a break. Back with Watson beating up JTG. Regal thinks Young might have cauliflower ear from going to the floor. JTG is sent to the floor and talks some trash to Regal but turns around into a baseball slide.
Young FINALLY gets a shot in on Watson for their first offense after about seven minutes. It's Watson taking the beatdown here from Young with something like a weak camel clutch. And never mind as JTG comes in and talks too much trash, allowing Watson to get his foot up. He can't make a tag though as the match keeps going.
Young cheats a bit and Regal starts coaching him before he realizes what he's doing. Korpela: Hold the phone. Regal: What phone? Regal also says that he thinks Young is ahead of all the rookies. Watson takes Young down and gets Titus in for the comeback. He tries what looks to be a spinebsuter but settles for an atomic drop instead. We actually get a Who Let The Dogs Out line from Korpela. The numbers catch up with Titus and a fireman's carry into a gutbuster ends Titus at 12:00. That's a surprise.
Post match the Usos come in and hit their double splash on the winners, ending the show.
Results
AJ b. Maxine Shining Wizard
Yoshi Tatsu b. Derrick Bateman via DQ with Tyson Kidd interfered
Darren Young/JTG b. Titus O'Neil/Percy Watson Gutbuster to O'Neil
Wednesday
Flair tore his triceps on the superplex spot and will be out 4-6 months. Hopefully that's the end of his in ring career.
Matt Hardy is going to WWE sponsored rehab. This comes after his house was raided and tons of drugs were found.
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: September 22, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Counting tonight there are four shows left before Bound For Glory. Last night the rest of the shows leading up to the PPV were taped in Nashville so the entire thing has been set. I've never been a fan of that but that's just me. Anyway, tonight we continue with Roode facing Fourtune in his gauntlet style thing as well as continue having Hogan and Sting set up since now that match is official for BFG. Let's get to it.
Here's Sting in a Hogan shirt and jeans to open the show with a contract in his hand. He talks about how things are great right now and he wants Hogan here right now. Hogan comes out and says he's not medically cleared to wrestle. Sting FREAKS (in his insane way) and says he has some footage. It's of Hogan killing Sting with a chair and beating him up from a few weeks ago. Hogan says he's not going to fight at BFG even if he's in shape as Sting has been chasing him for years but never caught up to him.
Sting says ok then. Screw BFG and let's do it right now. Cue Bischoff for the interruption. He goes off on Sting and Sting doesn't seem that interested. Eric tells Sting to look at him and Sting does as he clocks Bischoff with a right hand. Eric looks a bit dead now. Sting gets in Hogan's face and says the match will happen.
Karen talks to Mickie and Tessmacher and says get ready for their match. Mickie leaves and Tessie says none of that erotic stripping stuff. She also tells Traci to cover those things up. She yells at Karen again and Kaz comes up to her to call Karen a madam. He and Traci leave and Karen immediately calls Jeff to yell.
Jeff Hardy arrives and is looking for someone to talk to.
Brooke Tessmacher vs. Mickie James
This is part of the qualifying series for the title match at BFG. The crowd goes almost silent once the bell rings. They fight over a wristlock (the girls, not the crowd, although that would be interesting to see) and we're in the always awkward face vs. face match here. Tessmacher gets a rana for two and a dropkick to take over.
She grinds onto Mickie's face in the corner and Mickie is ticked off. I guess she's changed teams since her infatuation with Trish. She beats up tessmacher with a bad flapjack and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 2:55. Tessmacher looked MUCH better here than she usually does and is downright watchable.
Mexican America is off to get some new tattoos in a truck.
Al Snow talks to Jeff hardy who says Jeff made a mistake. He shakes Jeff's hand and says to not make that mistake again and start at the top. Al also says he's here if Jeff needs him.
X-Division Title: Jesse Sorensen vs. Austin Aries
No entrance for Sorensen. Aries asks for silence before the match which is an old school heel tactic and it works. He takes Jesse to the mat and tries to tick him off. Jesse is all annoyed and Austin steals Jesse's football. Sorensen adds a third sport to things with a baseball slide and then a HUGE dive over the top to take Aries out. Kid Kash comes out to distract Sorensen which only works for a bit as Sorensen gets a big old Kingstonesque top rope cross body for two.
Aries goes up and jumps into a dropkick for two. Sorensets for something but Austni counters by ramming him into the corner. We get a Let's Go Jesse/Austin Aries dueling chant. Kash is still there and distracts Jesse again, shoving the football into his chest. That isn't a DQ for some reason and Jesse throws the ball into Kash's chest. Aries hits a dropkick to the back of the head and a rollup for the pin at 4:27.
Anderson and RVD talk about their tag match tonight with Ray and Lynn, their respective opponents at BFG.
Anarquia has a new tattoo on his chest and says we need some tequila. The chicks go off to get it and the tattoo artist has to switch with someone else. Anarquia says he's afraid of needles so they pray for him to not be scared. As they open their eyes, Ink Inc pops in and beats them up. They fight into the lobby of the place and the tattoo lady pops Anarquia with an elbow. This beating is going on for awhile. Hernandez was put through a table. They beat Anarquia onto a table and tattoo him but we're not allowed to watch.
Jeff Hardy is looking for Kurt but finds Matt Morgan. Matt says hang for a bit. He rants about what Jeff did from a professional standpoint. Personally though he says he used to be a painkiller addict and he'd be a hypocrite to not give Jeff one last chance. Matt says if Jeff screws up one more time, Morgan will be the first person on him.
In the back, RVD has been put through a table. No idea who did it.
Hardy is talking to Kurt and Kurt doesn't want him here. Angle says no one wants him here now and Kurt tries to throw him out. Jeff wants to know who Kurt is to judge him. Kurt goes on his rant about how great he is and tells Jeff to get out again. He goes to leave and Jeff stops him, saying it's because Kurt knows he's the biggest threat to the title. Kurt says don't ever say that again and leaves.
Here's Kurt and he calls out Robert Roode. Here's Bobby still with the Beer Money theme. We take a break before Roode gets in the ring. Back and Angle says that Roode has passed the first test against Kaz in a great match. Tonight however he has Christopher Daniels. Kurt isn't sure if Daniels will play by the rules tonight. Roode says this isn't going to work. For 13 years now he's given everything to the business and he knows Kurt is the best in the world. However at BFG he's going to become world champion.
Angle implies he's gotten to someone that Roode is close to and implies it's Storm. Here's the Beer in Beer Money. Roode looks confused and Kurt gives Storm a thumbs up on the way to the ring. He says to Roode that he makes his own rules. However he's not here to get into it with Roode but rather Angle. Oral sex is implied but Storm wants a match with him instead. Kurt doesn't turn it down or accept it but Storm seems confident it's happening. I guess it is happening.
Bully Ray/Jerry Lynn vs. Mr. Anderson/Rob Van Dam
There's no RVD due to the attack earlier. Ray starts us off but tags in Lynn almost immediately. Anderson is crotched on the top and it's off to Ray. A splash gets a fast two and we're in a chinlock about two minutes into this. Lynn gets a rolling...eye poke and Anderson is down. He sets for the Rolling Thunder but stomps on Anderson instead. He's making fun of Van Dam if that wasn't clear.
Some double teaming fails and Anderson takes them both down. A neckbreaker gets two on Ray and Anderson takes them both down again, including with an Amazing Red double spin kick to Ray for two. Lynn is sent to the floor and the Bubba Bomb is countered into the Mic Check for two. Lynn made the save but Anderson is able to hit the swanton for two. Lynn comes off the top for a save but hits Ray by mistake....for two. Ok then. Lynn distracts Anderson and a shot with the chain is enough for Ray to pin Anderson at 6:23.
Storm says he's happy about Roode getting the title shot and says he'll make some trouble with Angle even if he didn't win the Series.
Christopher Daniels vs. Bobby Roode
Daniels comes out in street clothes. He talks about how he won't wrestle Roode tonight because it would be a great match, but he has nothing left to prove. Three weeks ago he beat AJ in this ring which means a lot more. Cue AJ who wants to know what the deal is with Daniels. Daniels says there's nothing to get over because Daniels is the better man. AJ is glad he has his confidence back but if Daniels keeps bringing up AJ's name, there's going to be another match. Daniels declines but AJ slaps him. AJ goes to leave but Daniels talks some trash and the fight is on.
After a break they're STILL fighting. They fight to the back and into the Direct Auto Insurance offices. Why would you have an office in the back of a wrestling arena? They go back to the ring and Kaz comes out to break it up. They get calmed down and Daniels kicks AJ in the balls before bailing.
Angle is with Steiner and says he'll beat Storm tonight because of the training he's been doing. Steiner has been training him. Steiner says Angle is the best ever and says Kurt will beat Storm.
Back from a break Kaz and Daniels are still arguing. This makes about 20 minutes on the three parts of this segment. Kaz says they're not his enemies and to calm down.
Kaz goes to AJ and AJ says that was Daniels showing his true colors. He says Daniels lost his mind after getting a little something going. Kaz says that's Chris being Chris and says the whole thing is BS. AJ throws up in a trashcan due to the pain in his balls. Kaz talks about how this is about the difference between wrestling and life.
Bischoff tells Hogan he'll find a loophole. Hogan says he's got it and has a bombshell waiting for next week.
Kurt Angle vs. James Storm
Storm tries to take it to the mat, probably due to a lack of sobriety. Angle for some reason doesn't want to do that and Storm pops him with a right hand. We go to the mat again with Storm in control but then Kurt is launched over the top and gets to do his front flip and lands on his feet spot. Angle suplexes him on the floor and takes over back in the ring. After a rest hold they both try cross bodies to send both guys down. Angle might be bleeding from somewhere on his arm.
Storm starts his comeback with some clotheslines and Kurt is in trouble. Backstabber gets two. Angle snaps off a belly to belly for two. Angle Slam is countered into what looked to be the Eye of the Storm but Kurt reverses into the ankle lock which Storm can't break. Yeah Kurt's forearm/elbow is bleeding but it's nothing too serious. Storm finally rolls through for two and sends Kurt's shoulder into the post for two more. Superkick is countered into rolling Germans for two more. You would think all those twos would get three eventually but they never do.
Moonsault misses (duh) and Storm heads to the apron. Kurt, looking like he could use a cheeseburger, tries to run the ropes but gets his head bitten instead. A top rope elbow gets a VERY close two as this has gotten good. They slug it out and the Eye of the Storm is broken up again. And here's Gunner for interference to set up the Slam for two.
Angle slaps him around and Storm superkicks the referee. Naturally the kick hits Angle the second time and here's Earl for two as Gunner pulls him out. Gunner clocks Storm with the belt and I guess the match is thrown out at about 11:30. Roode comes in to take out Gunner. He picks up the belt
Roode holds up the title to end the show.
Results
Mickie James b. Brooke Tessmacher Jumping DDT
Austin Aries b. Jesse Sorensen Rollup
Bully Ray/Jerry Lynn b. Mr. Anderson Chain to the throat
Kurt Angle vs. James Storm went to a no contest
Smackdown got a 1.8, down from last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: September 19, 2011
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Well we're past Night of Champions and it's time for the huge thirteen days long build for Hell in a Cell. Yes, we have two weeks between PPVs and they have the nerve to wonder why the buyrates are so low. Anyway, HHH is still the boss and Cena is the champion again. We're hopefully going to get an explanation for some of the things last night even though I don't get most of the complaints out of it. Let's get to it.
Oh and Hugh Jackman is guest host.
Cole promises the fallout from last night in tonight's main event but doesn't say what it is.
Here's Punk to open the show and he's looking a little ginger. This is a bad arena for Punk as he had to forfeit the title back in 08 and Holly clocked him in the head here once and messed up his vision. However, he might have to admit he was wrong about the Conspiracy because maybe it does exist. It's not the one Awesome Truth is talking about but...and here's HHH with a rebuttal already.
HHH says they went to war last night but today he's still the COO. He's going to do his job first though and make it a triple threat Cell match with Punk vs. Cena vs. Del Rio. Ok that's the right move to go with. As for the Conspiracy, HHH has no idea what it's going to take to get it through Punk's head but if they have to go to war again, let's do it and there goes the jacket and most of the tie. Punk is cool with that too but says put the tie back on.
Before HHH interrupted him, Punk's point was going to be that someone is using their animosity between each other to play the both of them. He still says there's a Conspiracy but it doesn't involve HHH. It's someone higher up on the ladder if you know what I mean. Punk starts talking about Punk and Miz but here's Johnny Ace again to say that's enough.
He says Punk is lying and tells HHH to not believe it. Punk says he's upset and Ace says that he's upset too. Ace says that Punk is going too far with this and Ace is tired of the disrespect. He claims to not want to be COO but Punk doesn't buy it. HHH tells him to chill and Ace fires Punk. That lasts about a second as HHH says no you're not fired. He's not sure what's going on with the Conspiracy but he's going to get to the bottom of it and tonight, someone is getting fired.
Wade Barrett/Christian/Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga vs. Aim Boom/Sheamus/Justin Gabriel
Kofi and Bourne are in bright green tonight. Gabriel vs. Please Just Call Me Joe Hennig Already starts us off. It's off to Bourne quickly and the heel team gets a chance to beat him down one by one. All four have gotten a shot at him so far so I won't bother going into a description of all four of them. Cole says enough is enough for Christian and even apologizes for interrupting JR.
Hot tag brings in Sheamus and he beats up everyone, namely Otunga who takes an Irish Curse for two. Everything breaks down and here's Kofi with a huge cross body to take out Barrett. JR messes up and says WWF Tag Champions (mini-censoring) as Christian's spear is broken up by a kick to the head. Brogue Kick and Celtic Cross kill Otunga for the pin at 4:40.
HHH is interviewing people to try to figure out what's going on. Alberto comes in and doesn't like the title match at HIAC. Alberto is a lot taller than I thought he was. He says HHH is awful at his job and he wants Vince to come back and run things. HHH says Alberto will need his prayers for himself in the Cell.
Alberto Del Rio vs. John Morrison
Del Rio goes for the armbreaker immediately but Morrison gets an enziguri to put him down. Del Rio hits what looked like a Stunner but I guess he had the arm. He hits the same move on the ropes that he hurt Rey with...and the armbreaker ends this at 55 seconds? What the heck?
Here's Hugh Jackman who gets a decent reaction. It's a good idea to have the host be someone that plays a tough guy most of the time. He seems fired up for this and has a really thick Australian accent. He says if you like WWE you'll like his new movie Real Steel which is about something like robots fighting. Ok that works. Here are Vickie and Dolph to interrupt though. Cole: The Cougar vs. The Wolverine!
Vickie hits on Jackman and Dolph isn't happy. Vickie says she's the hottest Diva and Dolph objects again. She introduces Dolph and Dolph confuses him with Christian Bale. Dolph talks about beating humans last night, not robots, sorry Mason Ryan. Dolph says that's a movie and this is as real as it gets.
They stare each other down and talk about underdogs and Jackman says he'll find an underdog to face Dolph tonight. Dolph says cool but the beating is on Jackman's hands. The fans start a BIG we want Ryder chant. Jackman goes to the floor and grabs a sign saying Ryder > Wolverine. Well you can't say he's not trying. Hey he stole the sign!
Awesome Truth arrives and Ace meets them, saying HHH wants to see them. They're very apologetic and say they're sorry to Truth and will be right there to see The Game. Ace leaves and they stay the same.
Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes
We think this is the original Cara but we're not sure. This is non-title I think. Before the match starts here's the other Sin Cara who moves more like the Hunico (false) version. Cody is gone so there's no match. From what I can find, Mistico (original) is the shorter one. The bigger one jumps the smaller one and it turns into a brawl. The fans really aren't sure what to make of this. One of them (can't tell as they're not together anymore) is sent up the ramp and that's it. Cody just left when the other Cara came in.
Awesome Truth comes in to see HHH and Miz is all sad. They say there's still a Conspiracy but they don't think HHH is part of it. Both apologize individually. Truth must be serious because he apologizes to the Little Jimmies. HHH doesn't move while this is being said. He looks at them both and says fine and accepts the apology. Since they put their hands on an official, they're being fined $250,000 each and he expects the checks Monday morning. They start to leave but HHH stops them and says they have a match with Punk and Cena tonight.
Here's Henry for his first interview as champion. JR is doing the interview and before Henry comes out we're told that it's Orton vs. Henry in the Cell for the title. JR congratulates him and says Henry proved his naysayers wrong. Henry says JR was one of them and he'll deal with the naysayers in a minute. He doesn't know much about the Cell but he'll keep the title.
Henry yells at JR, saying JR is going to apologize for all the naysayers and he'll apologize to the champ. Henry brings up that JR wanted Vince to fire him at one point. He holds up the belt and says that's all that needs to be said. JR apologizes but Henry grabs him by the throat anyway. He screams Henry is hurting him and Jerry comes in to try to calm Henry down. Henry lets JR go but grabs Jerry, saying he'll take Ross' place.
Lawler tries to fight and that doesn't work at all. Lawler takes the World's Strongest Slam and Henry kicks him to the floor. He loads up the announce table and Jerry is out for all intents and purposes. There's a World's Strongest Slam through the table and Lawler isn't moving other than writhing in pain. Henry takes his title and leaves as we go to a break.
Post break Lawler is being carried out. Josh Matthews comes out to help on commentary.
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya
Kelly gets a bit better reception here than last night. She and Beth start us off. Cole tries to play off last night's match as a fluke because Beth put too much pressure on herself. Off to Kelly who fires off some kicks but gets taken down to bring in the Canadian. Eve makes Natalya miss a charge and Eve rolls her up for the pin at 1:45. Josh says that Kelly is on a roll.
Jackman picks Ryder because you can't be much more of an underdog than him. Woo woo Hugh, you know it!
Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ryder has Jackman with him and Jackman put on a headband for this. The guy is into this. Ryder gets in a quick shot for two. Big Ryder chant breaks out and Jackman plays cheerleader. Ryder hits the running boot in the corner for two. And yes, the referee is serious about it being two. Dolph takes over with a superkick and a sweet dropkick for two. Ryder gets a knee up in the corner and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Vickie slaps Ryder and is ejected. Jackman uses the distraction to pop Ziggler and the Rough Ryder gives Ryder the pin at 3:08. Cole: That was a real steal for Ryder.
Swagger, dressed to kill, comes up to Vickie in the back and says he can get Vickie to meet Jackman if she wants and the managerial deal is set. Swagger walks away and sees Ziggler who he smiles at.
Punk is getting ready and Cena is behind him. Cena says they're a lot alike and the dueling chants begin. He says he respects Punk and talks about the Cell match. Cena says it'll be history and Punk says it would be history if Cena was the first WWE Champion to be fired.
Video on the Cell and how evil it is.
Awesome Truth vs. John Cena/CM Punk
Awesome Truth does their You Suck song on the way to the ring. Charles Robinson is referee. I haven't seen him in forever. Cena throws his shirt to a guy holding what appears to be twins in Cena gear. Cool move. Miz shakes the referee's hand and apologizes for last night. Wait Robinson was the referee last night? Off to Punk who is all smiley. The new Super Best Friends take over and a legdrop gets two. Off to Truth who takes a northern lights suplex for two.
It's time for a rematch of the main event of Wrestlemania and the dueling chants begin. Miz gets the short DDT for two as we take a break. Back with Miz getting another two off something we don't see. Off to Truth who puts on a chin/headlock but Cena suplexes his way out of it. Miz peppers Cena with left hands but Cena grabs a gutwrench suplex to escape. Truth breaks up the tag again and Miz holds the tag rope instead of stomping Cena when the ref isn't looking.
Earlier tonight Cena said he and Punk could be the new Rock and Roll Express so my Ricky Morton reference isn't as much of a stretch now. Cena finally takes Miz down and there's the hot tag to Punk. He hits a spinning falcon's arrow to Truth and the knee/bulldog/clothesline to Miz. He calls for the GTS but Miz elbows out. Awesome Truth almost collides so Punk sends Miz into Truth and the GTS ends this at 13:09.
Post match HHH comes out and says good match to Punk (nothing to Cena) and fires Miz and Truth!
They go after HHH who has left and we cut to the back to see the roster watching on monitors. HHH comes in and the guys warn him but Awesome Truth jumps him. The roster breaks it up and Regal and Swagger throw them out with HHH saying get them out of my building. HHH storms off into the back to end the show.
Results
Air Boom/Justin Gabriel/Sheamus b. Christian/Wade Barrett/David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty Celtic Cross to Otunga
Alberto Del Rio b. John Morrison Cross Armbreaker
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Natalya/Beth Phoenix Rollup to Natalya
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler Rough Ryder
John Cena/CM Punk b. Awesome Truth GTS to Miz
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.0, up from last week's 2.7.
NXT
Date: September 20, 2011
Location: Wright State University Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: William Regal, Jack Korpela
I'm not going to bother talking about the competition or what week it is anymore until we get to a milestone or something like that. I'm not sure where they're going to go with the stories as a lot of stuff was wrapped up last week. We have the old guys vs. the new guys still but that can only go so far. Regal and Striker got a pretty definitive win but I guess it's time for the Uso Era now. Let's get to it.
We open with the Percy Watson Show. He's been back a week and he has a talk show? Anyway he brings out O'Neil with both guys being in suits. Titus talks about it being a long 29 weeks and says they should take a run at the tag titles after the season ends. Here are JTG and Young with a rebuttal. JTG says he's a tag team specialist. It seems like JTG is Young's pro now. Titus brings up the Usos running them off last week and JTG calls the Usos haters. Watson says he and Titus dress better and a tag match is made...I think. They brawl and Titus/Watson clears the ring.
AJ vs. Maxine
We get a clip from last week with the match they had already where Maxine won. Regal talks about Maxine's uncle being a Peruvian hunchback pickpocket. He also makes saddles for seahorses. At least both chicks look good. Maxine controls early and grabs a chinlock. Off to a Liontamer with her foot on the head and that's illegal apparently as the referee breaks it up. AJ grabs a pair of rollups for two each and Maxine takes over again.
Regal talks about pulling hair and Maxine puts on chinlock #3 of a four minute match. AJ tries to speed things up and Maxine's shoulder goes into the post. Spin kick gets two for AJ. Maxine tries that same move she hit last week but AJ kicks her in the back and hits a Shining Wizard (called that by Regal) for the pin at 5:14.
HHH's movie trailer and the Raw ReBound (all about Ryder/Jackman/Ziggler and zero about the firing or HHH etc) eat up a bunch of time.
Horny is in the back with a letter for AJ. Maxine comes in and implies sex between Tyson and AJ. Maxine keeps walking and finds Bateman and Kidd. Kidd leaves and Maxine says they're this close to separating AJ and Horny. They make out.
Yoshi Tatsu vs. Derrick Bateman
Tatsu takes it to the mat and still has the paint on half of his face. Bateman chops away and Tatsu has white paint all over his chest. Yoshi drops a Muta style elbow for two and Bateman hits the floor. Tatsu gets sent into the post balls first and there's paint on the mat now. He needs to look into some higher quality stuff. Back in the ring and Tatsu gets taken down by a clothesline for two. Bateman's offense is pretty boring.
There's an abdominal stretch but he shifts into a pumphandle backbreaker for two. Now Tatsu has the same stretch on Bateman but that's quickly broken up. Tatsu fires away with strikes and a running kick in the corner and a big kick gets two. Cross body off the top gets two. Another attempt is rolled through for another two. A big kick puts Bateman down but Kidd runs in for the DQ at 6:43.
AJ talks to Trent Barreta but Titus comes up and Trent leaves. Titus says make up with Horny but she's not sure. Titus leaves and Horny is behind him. Horny leaves after shaking his head.
Titus O'Neil/Percy Watson vs. JTG/Darren Young
Percy vs. Young to start and Percy gets a butterfly suplex for two. Off to Titus who powers down Young with ease. And now we're talking about Air Boom. Watson throws on an armbar and it's off to Titus again. All Watson/O'Neil here. Young is thrown to the floor as we take a break. Back with Watson beating up JTG. Regal thinks Young might have cauliflower ear from going to the floor. JTG is sent to the floor and talks some trash to Regal but turns around into a baseball slide.
Young FINALLY gets a shot in on Watson for their first offense after about seven minutes. It's Watson taking the beatdown here from Young with something like a weak camel clutch. And never mind as JTG comes in and talks too much trash, allowing Watson to get his foot up. He can't make a tag though as the match keeps going.
Young cheats a bit and Regal starts coaching him before he realizes what he's doing. Korpela: Hold the phone. Regal: What phone? Regal also says that he thinks Young is ahead of all the rookies. Watson takes Young down and gets Titus in for the comeback. He tries what looks to be a spinebsuter but settles for an atomic drop instead. We actually get a Who Let The Dogs Out line from Korpela. The numbers catch up with Titus and a fireman's carry into a gutbuster ends Titus at 12:00. That's a surprise.
Post match the Usos come in and hit their double splash on the winners, ending the show.
Results
AJ b. Maxine Shining Wizard
Yoshi Tatsu b. Derrick Bateman via DQ with Tyson Kidd interfered
Darren Young/JTG b. Titus O'Neil/Percy Watson Gutbuster to O'Neil
Wednesday
Flair tore his triceps on the superplex spot and will be out 4-6 months. Hopefully that's the end of his in ring career.
Matt Hardy is going to WWE sponsored rehab. This comes after his house was raided and tons of drugs were found.
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: September 22, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Counting tonight there are four shows left before Bound For Glory. Last night the rest of the shows leading up to the PPV were taped in Nashville so the entire thing has been set. I've never been a fan of that but that's just me. Anyway, tonight we continue with Roode facing Fourtune in his gauntlet style thing as well as continue having Hogan and Sting set up since now that match is official for BFG. Let's get to it.
Here's Sting in a Hogan shirt and jeans to open the show with a contract in his hand. He talks about how things are great right now and he wants Hogan here right now. Hogan comes out and says he's not medically cleared to wrestle. Sting FREAKS (in his insane way) and says he has some footage. It's of Hogan killing Sting with a chair and beating him up from a few weeks ago. Hogan says he's not going to fight at BFG even if he's in shape as Sting has been chasing him for years but never caught up to him.
Sting says ok then. Screw BFG and let's do it right now. Cue Bischoff for the interruption. He goes off on Sting and Sting doesn't seem that interested. Eric tells Sting to look at him and Sting does as he clocks Bischoff with a right hand. Eric looks a bit dead now. Sting gets in Hogan's face and says the match will happen.
Karen talks to Mickie and Tessmacher and says get ready for their match. Mickie leaves and Tessie says none of that erotic stripping stuff. She also tells Traci to cover those things up. She yells at Karen again and Kaz comes up to her to call Karen a madam. He and Traci leave and Karen immediately calls Jeff to yell.
Jeff Hardy arrives and is looking for someone to talk to.
Brooke Tessmacher vs. Mickie James
This is part of the qualifying series for the title match at BFG. The crowd goes almost silent once the bell rings. They fight over a wristlock (the girls, not the crowd, although that would be interesting to see) and we're in the always awkward face vs. face match here. Tessmacher gets a rana for two and a dropkick to take over.
She grinds onto Mickie's face in the corner and Mickie is ticked off. I guess she's changed teams since her infatuation with Trish. She beats up tessmacher with a bad flapjack and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 2:55. Tessmacher looked MUCH better here than she usually does and is downright watchable.
Mexican America is off to get some new tattoos in a truck.
Al Snow talks to Jeff hardy who says Jeff made a mistake. He shakes Jeff's hand and says to not make that mistake again and start at the top. Al also says he's here if Jeff needs him.
X-Division Title: Jesse Sorensen vs. Austin Aries
No entrance for Sorensen. Aries asks for silence before the match which is an old school heel tactic and it works. He takes Jesse to the mat and tries to tick him off. Jesse is all annoyed and Austin steals Jesse's football. Sorensen adds a third sport to things with a baseball slide and then a HUGE dive over the top to take Aries out. Kid Kash comes out to distract Sorensen which only works for a bit as Sorensen gets a big old Kingstonesque top rope cross body for two.
Aries goes up and jumps into a dropkick for two. Sorensets for something but Austni counters by ramming him into the corner. We get a Let's Go Jesse/Austin Aries dueling chant. Kash is still there and distracts Jesse again, shoving the football into his chest. That isn't a DQ for some reason and Jesse throws the ball into Kash's chest. Aries hits a dropkick to the back of the head and a rollup for the pin at 4:27.
Anderson and RVD talk about their tag match tonight with Ray and Lynn, their respective opponents at BFG.
Anarquia has a new tattoo on his chest and says we need some tequila. The chicks go off to get it and the tattoo artist has to switch with someone else. Anarquia says he's afraid of needles so they pray for him to not be scared. As they open their eyes, Ink Inc pops in and beats them up. They fight into the lobby of the place and the tattoo lady pops Anarquia with an elbow. This beating is going on for awhile. Hernandez was put through a table. They beat Anarquia onto a table and tattoo him but we're not allowed to watch.
Jeff Hardy is looking for Kurt but finds Matt Morgan. Matt says hang for a bit. He rants about what Jeff did from a professional standpoint. Personally though he says he used to be a painkiller addict and he'd be a hypocrite to not give Jeff one last chance. Matt says if Jeff screws up one more time, Morgan will be the first person on him.
In the back, RVD has been put through a table. No idea who did it.
Hardy is talking to Kurt and Kurt doesn't want him here. Angle says no one wants him here now and Kurt tries to throw him out. Jeff wants to know who Kurt is to judge him. Kurt goes on his rant about how great he is and tells Jeff to get out again. He goes to leave and Jeff stops him, saying it's because Kurt knows he's the biggest threat to the title. Kurt says don't ever say that again and leaves.
Here's Kurt and he calls out Robert Roode. Here's Bobby still with the Beer Money theme. We take a break before Roode gets in the ring. Back and Angle says that Roode has passed the first test against Kaz in a great match. Tonight however he has Christopher Daniels. Kurt isn't sure if Daniels will play by the rules tonight. Roode says this isn't going to work. For 13 years now he's given everything to the business and he knows Kurt is the best in the world. However at BFG he's going to become world champion.
Angle implies he's gotten to someone that Roode is close to and implies it's Storm. Here's the Beer in Beer Money. Roode looks confused and Kurt gives Storm a thumbs up on the way to the ring. He says to Roode that he makes his own rules. However he's not here to get into it with Roode but rather Angle. Oral sex is implied but Storm wants a match with him instead. Kurt doesn't turn it down or accept it but Storm seems confident it's happening. I guess it is happening.
Bully Ray/Jerry Lynn vs. Mr. Anderson/Rob Van Dam
There's no RVD due to the attack earlier. Ray starts us off but tags in Lynn almost immediately. Anderson is crotched on the top and it's off to Ray. A splash gets a fast two and we're in a chinlock about two minutes into this. Lynn gets a rolling...eye poke and Anderson is down. He sets for the Rolling Thunder but stomps on Anderson instead. He's making fun of Van Dam if that wasn't clear.
Some double teaming fails and Anderson takes them both down. A neckbreaker gets two on Ray and Anderson takes them both down again, including with an Amazing Red double spin kick to Ray for two. Lynn is sent to the floor and the Bubba Bomb is countered into the Mic Check for two. Lynn made the save but Anderson is able to hit the swanton for two. Lynn comes off the top for a save but hits Ray by mistake....for two. Ok then. Lynn distracts Anderson and a shot with the chain is enough for Ray to pin Anderson at 6:23.
Storm says he's happy about Roode getting the title shot and says he'll make some trouble with Angle even if he didn't win the Series.
Christopher Daniels vs. Bobby Roode
Daniels comes out in street clothes. He talks about how he won't wrestle Roode tonight because it would be a great match, but he has nothing left to prove. Three weeks ago he beat AJ in this ring which means a lot more. Cue AJ who wants to know what the deal is with Daniels. Daniels says there's nothing to get over because Daniels is the better man. AJ is glad he has his confidence back but if Daniels keeps bringing up AJ's name, there's going to be another match. Daniels declines but AJ slaps him. AJ goes to leave but Daniels talks some trash and the fight is on.
After a break they're STILL fighting. They fight to the back and into the Direct Auto Insurance offices. Why would you have an office in the back of a wrestling arena? They go back to the ring and Kaz comes out to break it up. They get calmed down and Daniels kicks AJ in the balls before bailing.
Angle is with Steiner and says he'll beat Storm tonight because of the training he's been doing. Steiner has been training him. Steiner says Angle is the best ever and says Kurt will beat Storm.
Back from a break Kaz and Daniels are still arguing. This makes about 20 minutes on the three parts of this segment. Kaz says they're not his enemies and to calm down.
Kaz goes to AJ and AJ says that was Daniels showing his true colors. He says Daniels lost his mind after getting a little something going. Kaz says that's Chris being Chris and says the whole thing is BS. AJ throws up in a trashcan due to the pain in his balls. Kaz talks about how this is about the difference between wrestling and life.
Bischoff tells Hogan he'll find a loophole. Hogan says he's got it and has a bombshell waiting for next week.
Kurt Angle vs. James Storm
Storm tries to take it to the mat, probably due to a lack of sobriety. Angle for some reason doesn't want to do that and Storm pops him with a right hand. We go to the mat again with Storm in control but then Kurt is launched over the top and gets to do his front flip and lands on his feet spot. Angle suplexes him on the floor and takes over back in the ring. After a rest hold they both try cross bodies to send both guys down. Angle might be bleeding from somewhere on his arm.
Storm starts his comeback with some clotheslines and Kurt is in trouble. Backstabber gets two. Angle snaps off a belly to belly for two. Angle Slam is countered into what looked to be the Eye of the Storm but Kurt reverses into the ankle lock which Storm can't break. Yeah Kurt's forearm/elbow is bleeding but it's nothing too serious. Storm finally rolls through for two and sends Kurt's shoulder into the post for two more. Superkick is countered into rolling Germans for two more. You would think all those twos would get three eventually but they never do.
Moonsault misses (duh) and Storm heads to the apron. Kurt, looking like he could use a cheeseburger, tries to run the ropes but gets his head bitten instead. A top rope elbow gets a VERY close two as this has gotten good. They slug it out and the Eye of the Storm is broken up again. And here's Gunner for interference to set up the Slam for two.
Angle slaps him around and Storm superkicks the referee. Naturally the kick hits Angle the second time and here's Earl for two as Gunner pulls him out. Gunner clocks Storm with the belt and I guess the match is thrown out at about 11:30. Roode comes in to take out Gunner. He picks up the belt
Roode holds up the title to end the show.
Results
Mickie James b. Brooke Tessmacher Jumping DDT
Austin Aries b. Jesse Sorensen Rollup
Bully Ray/Jerry Lynn b. Mr. Anderson Chain to the throat
Kurt Angle vs. James Storm went to a no contest