Week of 8/30/10 - 9/5/10 (Monday - Friday)

[klunderbunker]

Monday

Raw
Date: August 30, 2010
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the 900th episode and Raw and Smackdown both will be there. Surprisingly enough this is only a two hour show though. There hasn’t been much announced for this, so let’s get to it.

We open up by YET AGAIN being told how awesome Raw is. Vince, let it go. Mainstream media flat out does not care, so stop trying to make them accept you. It simply isn’t going to happen.

Cole says the 900th consecutive week. We’ll ignore the preempted shows and the Best of shows I guess.

5 on 5 elimination match with Nexus vs. Sheamus, the Canadian duo, Orton and Cena. Good to see they’re not overkilling the match before Survivor Series.

Here’s Bret to open the show, which makes sense since this is a show about old school. He talks about how great Raw is and how many records it holds etc. Bret says only Taker was on the first show also, cueing Kane. This is a new pairing if nothing else. Baldie says there is no more phenom because he hasn’t meant anything since he beat Shawn at Mania.

Kane talks about how Bret hated Shawn etc. Bret can’t wait for Taker to beat Kane like he always does. Good line and simple. Old guys know how to talk. Kane says he needs to take out an icon like Taker did, so he grabs Bret. Hart Dynasty comes out for the save but gets knocked back with ease. Bret does better but the lights go out.

I’m sure you know who’s in the ring now as we get the staredown. Taker looks like he’s about to cry and Kane bails. Cue the e-mail and tonight it’s Bret….vs. Taker? Well that’s the biggest name Taker has never been able to beat, so that fits pretty well.

We go back to the first episode of Raw for some clips which are always fun.

Back from a break and we see the zamboni incident, which was the night after Taker and Kane beat Austin in a triple threat at I think Unforgiven.

Michael McGillicutty/Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan/Kaval vs. Miz/Alex Riley

Someone get me a boat to navigate the river of semen in the IWC at this point. Miz has a sweet new shirt with an id sticker on it saying “Hello I’m AWESOME!” I would totally wear that and I haven’t bought a WWE shirt in over 10 years. It’s a very fast paced match that I won’t even bother trying to keep track of.

Everything goes insane and Kaval hits a sweet rolling kick to Riley, setting up the Warrior’s Way. Cue in Miz for the Skull Crushing Finale to end it on Kaval. Bryan takes the MITB case to the head post match.

Laycool vs. Melina/Eve Torres

Well you can’t say they’re not attractive. Melina pins Layla in maybe 40 seconds with a rollup. Well ok then.

Michelle throws out the predictable challenge for the unification match at NOC but doesn’t say which member of Laycool is it. Melina insists it’s a lumberjack match. The Divas all come out and stand by her to end this segment.

Another Raw moment is Nexus beating down Cena, which is a big moment but damn man there are bigger ones than that.

Nexus is in the back and there are only five of them given Sheffield’s injury. Barrett says they have to do something to remember tonight and says he knows what it is but doesn’t say what it is.

We get another “historical” moment, this time the Bob Barker hosted show. Ok they’re stretching here methinks.

Jericho talks about how he says he’s great because he is great. If he doesn’t win the title at NOC, he’s gone. Josh says Jericho has been thrown out or fired at least a dozen times now, making me laugh. Jericho says watch what he’s going to do tonight.

John Morrison/R-Truth vs. Cody Rhodes/Drew McIntyre

Well this was unexpected. Something tells me Morrison is going to do something of note here. It’s a big brawl almost immediately and there’s a double DQ. This was for the #1 contenders slot so screw that apparently. Truth dives over the ropes to take out Rhodes. Was there a point to this at all?

Another Raw moment is Bret and Shawn making up. This is a legit major moment so I’ll give them that.

Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

Taker’s robe is a bit different now as he has the hood and sleeveless thing again, meaning no trenchcoat. And here’s Nexus. Ok make that just Barrett. He says it’s about the future and not ht epast, so he goes after Taker. Barrett gets knocked to the floor and then the lights go out. Kane is here and they slug it out, which Kane wins to a degree.

Taker goes for a chokeslam and there go those lights again. Someone really should look into that. Kane is gone (as is Bret) and here’s Nexus. Taker fights them off and has Barrett ready for the chokeslam but the lights go out AGAIN. We come back and Barrett has him up in the Wasteland. Kane is on the stage as it hits. A 450 hits Taker and he can’t quite sit up.

If you can’t tell this show has more or less sucked beyond belief so far.

Here’s Jack Swagger. Damn he’s fallen since the summer.

Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

As Bourne makes his entrance, Cole lists off MORE shows that Raw has been on the air longer than with Lawler saying Friends only had 236 or some odd shows. I’m not even going to go into the rant about why that’s incredibly stupid because here’s Alberto Del Rio of all people with his full car entrance and pyro. He even gets a split screen. Air Bourne misses and Swagger gets the ankle lock for the tap. We saw maybe a minute combined of the in ring action without a split screen.

Del Rio cuts off Swagger’s music and talks about how he got rid of Rey. However since none of the Raw fans saw it he’s going to recreate it here. He grabs a chair and Evan is in trouble. MARK HENRY of all people comes out for the save. Ok him just punching the chair out of Del Rio’s hand was in fact cool as hell.

We get a video about the China tour, which is indeed awesome.

This is Your Life Rock, which is actually a cool moment.

The Straight Edge Society is here, and Punk is better than The Rock. Punk says that Raw has pushed negative family values, and he has two words to prove it: Katie Vick. “If you don’t know who that is, Youtube it. It’ll drive you to drink and then you can come see me.” He has a list of four things that WWE has been bad about over the years.

Property Damage: HHH breaking into Orton’s house.

General irresponsibility: Cena throwing Edge in the water. Punk talks about never throwing anyone into water (with the joke of course being that he won a match like that against Chavo in ECW)

Tresspassing: DX invading WCW.

The last one is exhibit D for drunkenness, which is due to the beer bath…..on SANTINO. Yeah they picked that one instead of what was voted the #1 Raw moment back at the tenth anniversary show.

Punk makes fun of Austin and CUE GLASS SHATTERING!

And he’s not here. Punk literally rolls on the mat with laughter. He asks if the fans feel empty inside now, because that’s how he feels with every one of the fans. Punk has one more clip, which is the ring breaking thanks to Show and Lesnar. It’s to bash Show and he won’t say Lesnar’s name.

Show comes out and he mentions Eddie and a burrito. He wants to know why Punk picked a fat joke when he’s done all kinds of stupid stuff. We get a Show promo about the SES as Hulk Hogan. Show clears the ring of course and we go to a break.

HHH’s return in 2002 was in fact amazing.

Sheamus comes out to talk on the ramp. Surprisingly he doesn’t get a big pop since we’re in Boston. He mentions HHH and says he’s never coming back. Here comes Edge, who gets a BIG face pop. He talks about how many moments he’s had on Raw and all that jazz which is true. Edge also says Sheamus should go back to the lab with Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. Total face promo here.

Sheamus/Randy Orton/John Cena/Edge/Chris Jericho vs. Nexus

This is elimination rules and the bell rang at 10:59. Jericho walks out after a few seconds and it’s 5-4. Edge immediately shoves the referee and it’s 5-3. Tarver and Cena are in now and Cena dominates for the most part. Sheamus beats up various people for awhile and this is just awful. High Cross is blocked and Nexus takes over. SLATER PINS SHEAMUS! Totally clean for the most part too. He hit his finisher and that was it. Hokey smoke.

FU gets rid of Slater. Big beatdown and Cena is in trouble. Otunga goes out to the STFU. 450 to Cena and he’s out! Orton vs. Gabriel, Barrett and Tarver. Make that Barrett and Tarver as an RKO takes out Gabriel. It’s Barrett vs. Orton now. That happened in less than 15 seconds. Wasteland and it’s over. Less than a minute passed between Cena’s elimination and the end of the match, which included the eliminations of Gabriel, Tarver and Orton.

Results
Miz/Alex Riley b. Kofi Kingston/Michael McGillicutty and Daniel Bryan/Kaval – Skull Crushing Finale to Kaval
Melina/Eve Torres b. Laycool – Rollup on Layla
R-Truth/John Morrison vs. Drew McIntyre/Cody Rhodes went to a double disqualification
Jack Swagger b. Evan Bourne – Ankle Lock
Nexus b. Sheamus/Randy Orton/John Cena/Edge/Chris Jericho – Wasteland to Orton

Tuesday

The big news today is that apparently all of the WWE titles will be unified, with the world title likely being unified at Mania. This is a big change as this hasn’t been the case in over 8 years.

Raw got a 3.5, which is surprising to me.

NXT
Date: August 31, 2010
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

This is the season finale for the second season and probably the introduction for the third batch of rookies, which I’d bet on Tyler Black being in. The final three are Michael McGillicutty, Alex Riley and Kaval. Let’s get to it.

We open with the eliminations throughout this season, followed by quick packages on all three finalists.

The pros are brought out and Miz gets his own entrance music and mic. Ah never mind as all of the remaining pros have their own music in. The other rookies are in the front row. All standard stuff so far but Michelle keeps waving and smiling at the Miz. Triple threat match next. Kaval shoves Miz down and they start before we go to the break.

With the guys in the ring, we’re told we’re going to have all Divas for the third season. Kelly Kelly has Naomi Night, who is a big deal in FCW I think. She likes purple and pink a lot too.

Michael McGillicutty vs. Kaval vs. Alex Riley

The break happens just before the bell rings which is a bit different than usual actually. I like the fact that these shows have been live at least some of the time as it forces them to showcase themselves live like they would have to do on Raw potentially. Everyone stays in the ring here which is a rarity in WWE matches like these.

Matthews and Cole announcing continues to be one of the most exciting things about these matches and shows. If they want this to be interesting they need to have Kaval not win as he’s by far the favorite coming into the finals. Riley clears the ring and we take our second break in about 5 minutes.

Back from a break and Miz tells Riley what to do. He gives Cole a high five and it’s a good thing Cole is under a table so the stain doesn’t show on his pants. Kaval does a bunch of flips and spins to take out Riley. If it makes Laycool dance and cheer I’m happy.

Forearm smash to the back of the head of Kaval gets two for Michael. Kaval gets that modified Dragon Sleeper on Michael but ropes are grabbed. McGillicutty busts out the Fisherman’s (screw that it’s a Perfectplex) suplex for two but Riley makes the save.

Kaval blocks the McGillicutter with a Liger Kick. Riley steals the pin as that was a DEVASTATING Liger kick I guess as Michael was down for about 15 seconds before the cover.

Alicia Fox is a pro and she looks rather different here. Her pro is Maxine and she apparently has champagne tastes and a champagne budget. Just make the shirt already I guess. She’s a rich girl or something like that and it didn’t work at all for me.

If they’re going to do 8 rookies then they need to hurry up as it’s 10:30 and they’ve only introduced two so far.

Goldust is a pro with the rookie named Aksana. She’s Lithuanian, which makes me think she’s related to Nikolai Volkoff (a 300lb Lithuanian according to Bobby Heenan if that joke makes no sense). She’s an attractive blonde.

Titus says Riley should win. Cottonwood agrees because he’s the most likeable. Cannon says it doesn’t matter because the show hasn’t been good since he was eliminated. Percy says McGillicutty due to the ability and hard work. Harris says Michael also because he’s a second generation guy and born better.

Time for our first elimination, and Riley is gone. That surprises me a bit but at the same time it doesn’t if that makes sense. He’s probably the weakest of the three, but after winning the triple threat that’s kind of surprising. Riley bets on himself to be the future of the company.

The Bellas have a pro named Jamie, who is the announcer on NXT. Could be worse I guess. Her abs could rival Morrison’s.

Same China video from last night on Raw.

Primo is a pro, which shows you the level of talent they have here. AJ is his pro, who is apparently a geek. She’s another big deal in FCW and less than a year older than me. That never stops sounding weird to me.

The two finalists get to talk to each other once last time. McGillicutty makes fun of Kaval and does a REALLY bad job of it. No reaction at all, but we do get to learn that Kaval means flute. Kaval isn’t great but he’s FAR better than McGillicutty. He mentions Eddy Guerrero and walks away from Striker when Striker tries to take the mic which is amusing.

Vickie Guerrero is a pro and her girl is named Aloisia, who is 6’9. She’s about to fall out of her top on the video. Looks like there are only going to be six girls unless they do two more really fast.

With very limited introduction, the winner is Kaval. He deserved it so I can’t really complain. Michael can barely talk but looks at Kaval and says “him?” Total dick promo from him here as he talks about how great he is. He talks about the Genesis of McGillicutty, making him sound stupider than he usually does.

Kaval tries to celebrate but the season 2 rookies jump him, led by Lucky freaking Cannon. The Pros run in and get beaten down…kind of. Just at first I guess as the Pros fight back and almost clear the ring. Riley and McGillicutty come out and beat up Watson of all people.

The rookies beat up Kaval, including Watson who is apparently fine with Riley about 40 seconds after Riley beat him up. Titus hits a very fast version of a Sky High (D’Lo Brown’s powerbomb move) to end it. We finish up with a montage of the challenges and eliminations.

Results
Alex Riley b. Kaval and Michael McGillicutty – Pinned McGillicutty after Liger Kick from Kaval
Alex Riley was eliminated in 3rd place
Kaval won Season 2 of NXT

Wednesday

Nothing of note today. A day off like this is needed in wrestling though. It lets you get a little break from it.

Thursday

Joey Mercury is going to be out 6 months due to a torn pectoral. So much for the current incarnation of the SES.

Starting three days before Bound For Glory, Impact will be live. No word on if that’s a regular thing or if it’s a one off show but it’s a step in some direction.

Impact
Date: September 2, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: 10.10.10

It’s the go home show for No Surrender, and I can’t believe that’s the case. It feels like we’ve got four matches for it. Upon further review, that’s because we do only have four matches for it. Main event is a tag between the four guys in the semis at the PPV, so let’s get to it.

Opening video is about the four guys and Bischoff saying that having this tag match is controversial. Sure it is Eric.

Theme song, and the show is referencing the date of BFG. Yeah that makes sense.

Hogan and Bischoff open the show and Hogan brings out the Fatal Four. Oh and Tessmacher is there too, which is never a bad thing. Bischoff and Hogan say you have to raise the bar and Abyss comes through the crowd with Janice. Abyss says he has a message from THEM, and amazingly, what we were told last week (Fourtune is THEY) isn’t true! Naturally THEY will be revealed at BFG.

Abyss says THEY will get rid of Carter and then Hogan and Bischoff. And Pope. Add Hardy to that. AND WE TAKE A BREAK IN THE MIDDLE OF ABYSS’ PROMO?

We come back and we’re talking about the Knockouts. Sure why not.

Velvet Sky/Angelina Love vs. Motorcycle Girl/Madison Rayne

We start with a brawl on the floor and the BP go after the biker immediately. Madison gets caught between the BP and they do a little dance as Madison tries to get out. And there’s a bell….which is opening the match I guess. We get a throwaway line saying Madison vs. Velvet on Sunday.

Nothing special at all here as it all breaks down after just a few minutes. Spear by Love takes down the biker chick. She blasts Skye with the helmet, and I use that term loosely, to get the pin. After an additional beatdown, the mask comes off and of course it’s Tara. And that’s the end of that segment.

Stevie Richards wants Abyss. Tonight he stands on his own.

RVD speaks next week.

Stevie Richards vs. Abyss

Richards jumps him immediately as he comes through the crowd. Abyss vs. Rhyno, falls count anywhere on Sunday. Abyss dominates for the most part but goes for a chair. Richards kicks the chair into his face and pins him. Holy sweet mother of crap this is dumb.

Post match Abyss beats on Richards some more and we cut to the back where Fourtune is fighting the ECW guys. Foley is on the ground holding his ankle. We cut back to the arena where it’s still a beatdown. He goes for the nail board and BRIAN KENDRICK of all people comes down to get Richards out of there. Is TNA even thinking anymore?

Anderson is in the back and babbles about Pope. Pope is behind him and they don’t trust each other.

The ECW guys are in the ring and they want Fourtune. AJ is the mouthpiece here and talks about how all the individual matchups favor Fourtune. Dreamer’s reply: YOU ALL SUCK. Four on four later tonight I think.

Jarrett again asks Joe for help. Joe again says no.

More from Nash and Sting and Jarrett about taking down all the stuff that they built etc.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting

Nash hooks Jarrett’s leg immediately as we hear that the 8 man tag will be elimination. This is another three minute match as Nash keeps interfering until finally the third or fourth time is enough for the pin. Post match Jarrett tries to beat up Nash and Sting but Hulk comes out for the save. He doesn’t get involved though as Joe runs through the crowd (ok so maybe runs is a stretch but work with me here) and beats up Nash. Joe more or less tells Hogan I’ve got this and we have a standoff.

Shore is still coming and my head still hurts.

Wolfe, Magnus (why is this guy still employed?) and Chelsea are in the ring. They do a generic promo against the Guns but it’s nothing that bad. Here come the champions and we get some dueling promos. The Guns think the Brits are gay. We talk about Chelsea and her being a ****, and hear that Wolfe has a small dick. Heel beatdown follows.

The ECW guys say they’re losing the war. Foley can’t wrestle tonight and Kendrick comes in to replace him for no apparent reason. Foley more or less says Kendrick is crazy, and therefore perfect.

Angle and Hardy are ready for their match.

Fourtune vs. EV 2.0

AJ/Kaz/Beer Money
Kendrick/Sabu/Dreamer/Rhyno

This is under elimination rules, because we haven’t seen a ton of them lately right? Rhyno gets a dropkick that isn’t half bad actually. Sabu vs. Williams this Sunday, which sounds….well it sounds like it could be bad but could be ok. Not sure which. Williams hooks Sabu’s foot and a rollup gets rid of him in like 90 seconds. Sabu beats up Williams afterwards and they brawl to the back.

Foley has a fractured ankle, which they can tell sans x-rays of course. We do some back and forth for awhile as Kaz and Kendrick do a nice little sequence. NICE leg lariat/kick to the face from Kendrick and Kaz is gone to tie it up. Kendrick misses a dropkick and it hits the referee, starting a big brawl. Here comes Foley as we go to a break.

During the break Kendrick got eliminated by DQ for the kick. Nash/Sting vs. Jarrett/Joe for Sunday. Dreamer gets the hot tag and Rhyno gores the HELL out of Storm. Naturally the best Gore he’s done in months doesn’t get a pin because that would make the move look devastating and we can’t have that. Here’s Abyss to beat on Rhyno which should be a DQ and naturally isn’t as Rhyno gets counted out.

Beer Money/AJ vs. Dreamer if you haven’t been able to keep track. Dreamer gets the DDT and puts Roode out before rolling up Storm to make it 1-1. Crossface by Dreamer but AJ gets to the ropes. Some other stuff doesn’t work for either guy until Dreamer sets for the Figure Four. Morgan stops it and the Pele Kick ends it.

Mr. Anderson/D’Angelo Dinero vs. Kurt Angle/Jeff Hardy

Dinero and Hardy start us off as we’re getting low on time. Pope hits a Flair kneedrop for two. Angle comes in as there is NOTHING special about this match. It’s not terrible or anything, but it’s the epitome of just being there so far. Whisper in the Wind hits Angle by mistake, and then a Mic Check gets the pin, which was stolen by Dinero. The winners and losers both brawl afterwards.

Results
Madison Rayne/Motorcycle Girl b. Velvet Skye/Angelina Love – Pin after a shot from the helmet
Stevie Richards b. Abyss – Superkick into a chair
Sting b. Jeff Jarrett – Pin after Nash hooked Jarrett’s leg
Fourtune b. EV 2.0 – Pele Kick to Dreamer
Mr. Anderson/D’Angelo Dinero b. Jeff Hardy/Kurt Angle - Dinero pinned Angle after a Mic Check

Friday

Keep in mind that there will be NO Impact next week. There will be an online interview show, which I guess is better than nothing, although I’m not sure by how much.

Sgt. Slaughter was hospitalized due to being light headed. He appears to be fine and was only help overnight for observations. All signs point to him being ok though, which is definitely good news.

Smackdown
Date: September 3, 2010
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Matt Striker, Todd Grisham

We open this week with more of Kane and Taker. More or less this is a recap of the feud minus the beginning. It’s certainly the focal point of the show so I can’t complain about it being the thing we start the show with.

Theme song hits. Get your reinforcements.

Kane has a major announcement for later on tonight.

In the ring is the setup for a big party, made up to look like a fiesta. Del Rio comes out in a Bentley, as I’m starting to get into the car aspect of this. It’s a nice touch instead of the same car every week.

The ring is full of servants and there is a piñata hanging in the middle. We recap the beatdown on Rey from last week, hearing that he now has a broken wrist. Rey is like a piñata somehow, prompting Del Rio to destroy the thing with a bat/stick.

Del Rio calls Rey a broken burro (the piñata was in the shape of a donkey) and then makes a toast to himself. Cue Christian of all people to a pretty solid pop. Christian calls him JBL: Juan Bradshaw Layfield, which gets a chuckle out of me.

After a few more jokes, Christian gets serious. He gets on Del Rio for hurting his friend and says Del Rio is the real jackass. All those years of Spanish classes clearly paid off as I can understand every word of Del Rio yelling at his servants. They tease a fight but Del Rio backs off, saying not here and now. I like this a lot as even though I’m not a Christian fan, Del Rio needs a solid midcard feud to get himself some credibility with and Christian could certainly provide him with that.

Drew McIntyre jumps Christian and apparently their match is now.

Christian vs. Drew McIntyre

The match started during the break and they cleared out the fiesta set. Blast it. I was hoping to see a Canadian fight a Scotsman in a Mexican fiesta in America. That truly would have been WORLD wrestling. Drew throws Christian into the stairs and hurts his ribs.

The rib injury gives Drew the early advantage, which is logical. He works the ribs with some basic holds, showing that he’s thinking. I love basic psychology in a match. Drew hooks on a bearhug and throws a knee into the ribs as he has looked completely dominant so far.

Christian is just barely hanging on in there but he’s getting some shots in here and there to keep himself in it. On the floor Christian shoves Drew into the table to get us almost close to even. After more offense on the ribs, Christian gets a double leg sweep into a Jackknife pin out of NOWHERE.

Michelle McCool vs. Kelly Kelly

As Michelle comes to the ring we get a recap of the unification match being set up on Monday. If any division needs that, it would be the Divas division. Layla is on commentary here. This is a rather short match with my biggest issue being able to tell them apart as both are in blue/green colors. Kelly makes a short comeback but walks into the Faith Breaker to end it. Nice counter.

In the back, Horny is with a psychologist who is trying to get him to speak English. I guess he forgot how to do it since he was in DX. The doctor suggests electric shock, which is an homage to George Steele on Tuesday Night Titans. If you’ve never seen that clip find it as it’s very funny stuff. Horny electrocutes the doctor and leaves. Good to see they have found new ways to waste my time.

Chris Masters vs. Dolph Ziggler

Masters looks smaller now and has a beard. Ziggler’s music is very catchy to put it mildly. Something tells me this isn’t going to last long. Ziggler tries a Flair Flip in the corner but lands in the ring again. Masterlock is avoided and a BAD Zig Zag ends this in just over two minutes. Told you it would be short.

Big Show is invading Smackdown. How you can invade the show that you’re an active member of is beyond me but logic never really has meant anything in wrestling.

Big Show vs. Straightedge Society

Gallows and Punk here in a handicap match. Show has a dew rag now. Mercury’s arm is in a sling. He tore a pec and is out for about 6 months. Is this stable cursed or something? Punk starts with Show and the man with hair gets nothing.

Gallows comes in and Show actually uses amateur stuff to get him down. All things considered it was actually pretty good. Show is more talented than he’s given credit for at times. Double team shenanigans give the heels the advantage and nearly gets them a count out win.

No mention at all of Serena’s absence yet, which doesn’t really surprise me. Punk goes for the springboard clothesline and Show just knocks him out of the air. There’s something cool about a guy that can do that and have it look realistic. We hit the floor again and Show dives at Punk but eats stairs as we take a break.

We’re back and the Society is in control. You immediately see the inherent problem with beating up Show though: you can really only stomp him due to his size. It’s a benefit and a perk at the same time I suppose. Show takes over with ease, hitting the Alley-Oop on Gallows before a camel clutch ends it with ease. Punk hits the GTS on Gallows after the match.

It’s time for the VIP Lounge with Jack Swagger as a result of Swagger beating MVP last week. The guest is of course Swagger’s dad, played once again by former WCW Tag Team Champion, Bunkhouse Buck. Senior is in a neck brace, I’m assuming due to Kane beating him up a few months ago.

Senior talks about his son setting a pushup record when he was a kid, and we get a demonstration. He counts faster than the pushups are coming, until MVP’s music hits to end this “riveting” demonstration.

MVP criticizes the show and the guest Swagger picked, before closing it for renovation. They wind up playing tug-of-war with Swagger’s father, eventually launching him into a downward spiral (he changes the name of the move so often that I’m not even going to try to remember it anymore) from MVP.

Swagger junior goes over the top rope and MVP, the saint that he is, drops an elbow on a senior citizen in a neck brace that was in a wheelchair not 30 seconds ago. What a role model!

Matt Hardy vs. Cody Rhodes

I still say Rhodes’ song sounds like Living on a Prayer, or at least the chorus of it. According to Striker Matt is the Modern Day Warrior. Today’s Matt Fact: Matt wishes he had half of the talent and charisma that Kerry Von Erich (the original Modern Day Warrior) had.

Before the match, Rhodes makes fun of Matt, including even calling him fat. These are probably getting a little too close to home, but that’s the point of a heel I suppose. Cody has a mirror on the back of his jacket, which is fairly awesome but I’m not sure why. Him shouting THAT IS NOT DASHING is a good line.

We take a break and Matt is in control as we’re back. Matt’s ankle is still hurt from the beatdown Rhodes and McIntyre gave it over the last few weeks. He misses his elbow off the middle rope and there goes the ankle. Cross Roads follows soon after for the pin.

Here comes Kane for his major announcement. Ok never mind as he’s just on screen. He talks about how Taker’s Armageddon is coming, and it will come when he defends the title at Night of Champions. We get the Devil’s Favorite Demon line again which sounds like a cheap cliché.

The arena is covered in blue light (is this K-Mart all of a sudden?) and druids appear with a casket. I always get funny mental images of druids standing around catering during the show and having doughnuts whenever they’re on the show. The shots of Undertaker break in through the video which I don’t know the name for but they’re the same ones they have every week.

The casket pops open and it’s Kane. The lights turn to red and the booing is great. Nice little surprise there. Kane goes into another insane rant about how he’s the dominant one and how he is going to end Taker because Taker has grown weak. It’s more good stuff from him as he’s just been in a groove the last three months or so.

Cue Taker, and I know he’s not as good as he used to be and I know he’s old and banged up, but the entrance with the organ music and the silhouette and the lightning and smoke is still awesome. He gets to the ring after about 87 minutes and the lights go out again.

No Kane of course so Taker checks the casket, which is empty. Kane pops up on screen and says after Night of Champions, they will no longer be the Brothers of Destruction but Taker will be simply the brother that Kane destroyed. I like that line. Kane’s laughter ends the show.

Results
Christian b. Drew McIntyre – Jackknife pin
Michelle McCool b. Kelly Kelly – Faithbreaker
Dolph Ziggler b. Chris Masters – Zig Zag
Big Show b. CM Punk/Luke Gallows – Colossal Clutch on Gallows
Cody Rhodes b. Matt Hardy – Cross Roads