klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Legendary has more or less bombed so far, which was reported yesterday but I forgot to mention it. Something occurs to me though. The only trailer begins with the woman shouting “I want my son back, but I just don’t know how!” She doesn’t know how to what exactly? I get that it’s implied know how to get him back, but it’s a really awkwardly worded statement. I want him back but I just don’t know how…..to get him back? To find where he is? To make toast and a bowl of milk to sit out on the porch so that he’ll see it and come home? It just sounds weird.
Team 3D still might not sign new contracts with TNA, meaning nothing has changed since the last report on this.
Rey isn’t having knee surgery at the moment.
Raw
Date: September 13, 2010
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Star: Chad Ochocinco
This is the go home show for Night of Champions which is also billed as the season premiere as well as having the return of Raw Roulette. Oh and Cena vs. Orton. I was thinking about taking in this show but didn’t for no specific reason. This is designed to try to sway some viewers away from the Jets/Ravens game which should be solid. Raw is lucky for the timing because the show is starting at halftime. Let’s get to it.
We open with a shot of the wheel and pan out to see Cena and Orton. Matthews comes up and says EVERY match is a spin the wheel match. Cena wants Lady Luck to spin for him, bringing in Eve. It’s a tables match, and Cena isn’t thrilled because he lost the title to Sheamus in his last one.
There’s a cage above the ring.
The guest star is Chad Ochocinco, a hometown football star. This makes sense at least. Great way to make people forget about Monday Night Football as the theme song of it plays Chad to the ring. Chad is kind of nervous on the mic it seems but he’s trying. His team got slaughtered yesterday but he’s doing his thing. Cue Miz to run his mouth.
Cheap anti-Bengals heat which once again is fine. Chad says he has two words for him: child please. He goes off about how great Cinci sports have been lately, which is actually true. Miz and he had a decent back and forth thing, but if you don’t like football they make no sense. E-Mail time says spin the wheel for Miz’s match tonight. It’s a submission match, so take a guess as to his opponent. E-Mail #2 says Chad gets to pick the opponent, who naturally is Daniel Bryan.
Miz vs. Daniel Bryan
This is non-title of course. The match is underway after we come back from a break. Alex Riley is out here to back up Bryan, which makes me think that Miz has a chance on Sunday. Bryan misses a running knee in the corner so Miz goes after it. Miz gets a totally wrong figure four but Bryan counters.
LaBelle Lock (Crossface) doesn’t go on so Miz hits the floor for some reason. He might have some kind of injury or is likely faking. Yeah he gets a mic and says he has a hernia, so he needs to stop the match so that he can defend on Sunday. Naturally he doesn’t forfeit so Riley substitues for him. Riley taps in about a minute and Miz runs in for the beatdown. Skull Crushing Finale is blocked and Miz taps.
Edge and Jillian spin the wheel and Edge dances while she sings. Should he just get a shirt saying “Yes, I am turning face”? They spin the wheel a bit hard and we go to a break before we see the answer. Simple but effective I guess.
Some Bengals are here.
Edge comes out for his match and we don’t know who he’s fighting or what the match is. Ah ok it’s Evan Bourne.
Edge vs. Evan Bourne
It’s a body slam challenge. Wait…what? Edge goes for a slam immediately but gets nowhere. Who in the hell picked this? Bourne gets a LOUD enziguri and takes over. This lasts like 90 seconds as Edge just slams him for the pin. Spear afterwards.
In a move I predicted, the GM makes Edge have another body slam challenge, which is against Mark Henry.
Mark Henry vs. Edge
Henry gets a face pop, Edge can’t slam him, World’s Strongest Slam ends this in like 45 seconds. What the hell was the point of this segment?
R-Truth/Eve Torres vs. Ted DiBiase/Maryse
This is a Song and Dance match, whatever that means. One sings and the other dances. Truth doesn’t want to do his normal song because we heard it already. We get a different one this time which is something I can’t really understand nor do I want to. Eve dances in the ring while Truth walks around and slaps hands. Eve looks good but can’t really dance that well. She looks WAY too stiff.
DiBiase wants to forfeit but winds up singing My Way by Frank Sinatra while Maryse does a far better dance than Eve. Jerry: Pat Patterson is rolling over in his grave! Cole: He’s not dead! Lawler: Well that just killed him. A brawl breaks out and the faces win and Truth sings us out. I rate wrestling, not whatever this was. No winner is announced so no official match I guess.
Regal gets a trading places match, which means he has to dress like his opponent, which is Goldust. This could be either really bad or hilarious.
The Bellas hit on Chad and here comes Sheamus. Chad got an e-mail apparently and tells him that if Morrison beats Sheamus next he’s in the 6 Pack Challenge. The match is Falls Count Anywhere.
Ryder insists he’s not a tool to Edge. Edge says if he wins the title he’ll leave with the belt and go MIA. Sheamus pops up and says don’t hold your breath with Ryder shouting BURN and then leaving.
Morrison does a FREAKING AWESOME warm up as he jumps over boxes and crates in the back like he’s in a damn Jet Li moves. That was just cool as hell.
Sheamus vs. John Morrison
I’m not sure why but this sounds awesome as hell to me. It’s Falls Count Anywhere. Sheamus beats him down to start but Morrison does some gymnastics to get out of it. We head to the floor and into the crowd. Irish Curse on the floor and Morrison is in trouble. He gets dropped ribs first onto the railing near the production stuff for two. It was in the ribs of Morrison so of course it didn’t hurt.
Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick into a production box and it shoots sparks. Onto the stage and it’s all Sheamus. Morrison counters something but winds up getting thrown off the stage. He does a front flip though and lands on his feet. Flash Kick with Morrison getting a running jump up to the stage and using the edge like a top rope, somehow only getting two.
They fight more on the floor and Sheamus finds a chair. He hits the stage but Morrison somehow gets up on the NOC sign and hits a HUGE cross body off of it for TWO. Out of nowhere Jericho pops up and cracks Morrison over the back with a chair for Sheamus to get the pin. He sits in the ring as we go to break.
Jericho wants back into the match or he’ll quit. He wants to get back into the 6 Pack Challenge and if not he’ll go back home and watch Raw go up in flames. Jericho gets no response but says he’ll track down the GM and expose his identity. E-Mail time and Jericho cuts Cole off saying OF COURSE WE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION JUST READ THE E-MAIL.
The GM says there’s no chance that’ll work, no chance in hell. Jericho doesn’t buy it as McMahon isn’t a coward. He’s right too. Another e-mail and Jericho cuts him off again saying SHUT UP AND READ IT. Huge face pops for that. The 6 Pack is now elimination rules (SWEET) and Jericho is in it again. There’s another part but Jericho cuts him off.
Before he can leave it’s ANOTHER E-Mail. The GM says don’t EVER interrupt him again. Jericho is back in but has to win his match tonight, and it’s right now. Jericho is in a suit and wrestling boots, and it’s a handicap match vs. the Hart Dynasty IN A CAGE. No real reasons for the caps there but it looks good.
Hart Dynasty vs. Chris Jericho
Before we go to break Jericho is SCREAMING at Cole that he wants the e-mail address. Jericho was awesome in this segment as when he goes nuts he’s just great. This is under elimination rules and the Hart Attack hits like 30 seconds in. The Harts both start leaving but Jericho stops Kidd while Smith gets out.
This makes it Tyson vs. Jericho in a cage match. Kidd has a chance to leave but hits a cross body instead. Jericho tries to run but gets caught. He’s in dress pants here so this can’t be easy. Kidd goes for a top rope dropkick but gets caught in the Walls. Ok maybe not as a rollup gets two and there’s the Sharpshooter.
We fight on the top rope a bit and Tyson goes for a rana. Jericho dives into it and jumps off the top while hooking the Walls. Kidd’s head CRACKS into the mat and he has to tap. That was awesome looking but it could have been a broken neck. He looks like he’s ok though, but damn that was risky.
Pete Rose is here. I’d love a Kane sighting.
Goldust vs. William Regal
Goldie is in the Regal one piece swimsuit with the hair. Regal goes full bore complete with face paint. He looks frighteningly similar actually. Goldust (I’ll mean the real one when I say that in this match) is in good shape actually. Regal does the Goldust taunt PERFECTLY but Goldust pulls out brass knuckles and pops Regal to end this in like 15 seconds. The Regal imitation of Goldust was absolutely awesome.
Chad comes out again and has a special guest announcer for the main event: himself.
Randy Orton vs. John Cena
LONG feeling out process as we get an RKO chant. Nothing of note happens other than Orton trying a suplex over the ropes to put Cena through as we go to a break. We’re back and they’re slugging it out to the BOO/YAY chants. This is your usual main event war which isn’t as good as they make it out to be but they’re making it look important at least.
Cena goes for the FU but Orton counters into a DDT. Table set up in the corner by the bald one but Cena starts a comeback. Orton overpowers that comeback with a comeback of his own. CENA comes back and here comes Nexus to break up the STFU. Orton and Cena fight them off as well as they can and get rid of Tarver and Slater but get taken down. Wasteland to Cena.
Gabriel and Barrett set up a table and try to set up the 450 through it. Orton saves but Barrett kicks his head off. Barrett goes for Wasteland over the top but Orton counters and sends the British dude through it. Cena is still out as Orton sets up a table in the middle to go with the one in the corner.
Cue Edge and Jericho for the run in but Edge spears Jericho through the table by mistake. Cene is getting back up and here’s Sheamus to complete the run-in palooza. He goes after Cena on the floor and winds up taking an FU out there. Well of course he does since he’s the champion. Elevated DDT is blocked into an FU, but Orton flips forward and pulls him down into the RKO through the table! Lots of posing ends the show.
Results
Daniel Bryan b. Alex Riley (Mid match substitution for Miz) – LaBelle Lock
Edge b. Evan Bourne – Edge slammed Bourne
Mark Henry b. Edge – World’s Strongest Slam
Sheamus b. John Morrison – Pin after a Jericho chair shot
Goldust b. William Regal – Pin after a shot with brass knuckles
Randy Orton b. John Cena – RKO through a table
Tuesday
Apparently Matt has HUGE heat on him in the locker room and is in real danger of being released. Most interesting.
Skip Sheffield is out until January. Damn they were pushing him strong too.
Raw got a 3.0. The Monday Night Football games got a combined 10.9.
NXT
Date: September 14, 2010
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
It’s week #2 here and this should be an interesting rating. Last week’s show was more or less even with the final NXT Season Two ratings. I wonder how much focus on the wrestling they’re going to have as last week’s was kind of a disaster so hopefully it’s better tonight. Let’s get to it.
No recap or anything as we open with the theme song. The first elimination is in three weeks.
Vickie opens the show as Cole cheers her on. It’s fine when Lawler or a sidekick does it but when the lead commentator does it then it’s a bit annoying. She brings out Dolph Ziggler so at least we get some solid music. There are tires in the aisle so it’s obstacle course night.
We get clips from last week where Vickie sent Kaitlyn after AJ to end the show. I don’t know if it’s the HD feed but the ring looks much smaller.
Primo/AJ vs. Kaitlyn/Dolph Ziggler
The boys start us off which lasts about 20 seconds. AJ used to be homeless and according to Cole she’ll be homeless again in about three weeks. Cross body by AJ for one before Kaitlyn takes her head off and tags out. Men vs. women is illegal here but we get it for a second anyway. AJ can’t get by Dolph so she slaps him in the face.
Again I would often advise that as a solution to a problem: when all else fails just HIT THEM IN THE FACE. Primo comes in and has about 20 seconds of offense, cementing his jobber status before the Zig Zag ends it. Kaitlyn and Dolph celebrate, making Vickie jealous.
Maxine gets profiled and we hear about how she’s been around a camera all the time. She likes her eyes apparently. She looks much better with curled hair than with straight like it was last week.
Next up is a joke off. Oh dear.
We get a new trailer for Legendary. If this had been four weeks ago I might actually care but that annoying woman shouting about wanting her son back but not knowing how has driven me away. Quick question: what does she not know how to do? I get that they’re implying get her son back but it’s really oddly worded. Does she not know how to get him back? Not know how to make Baked Alaska? Not know how to tie her shoes?
Kaitlyn and AJ are in the ring and we bring down the other four. Aksana looks FAR better this week than last time. Jamie needs to eat a sandwich. Maxine has the straight hair again which doesn’t work at all for her. Naomi is in blue which works better than the purple and black for her.
It’s time for the joke off and the audience is the judge. Could they make this any more obvious? AJ makes a dumb blonde joke which gets booed badly. The punch line wasn’t any good and she talked too fast.
Aksana says her joke in I’m assuming Lithuanian. She makes a really bad marriage joke than I didn’t get at all.
Jamie asks for crowd help and does a knock knock joke about AJ. She makes them do it again but with Aksana. The crowd says who. Jamie: EXACTLY. Ok that was good.
Naomi asks what you call a dog with no legs. It doesn’t matter because they’re not coming.
Maxine says she has five jokes with her in the ring and picks AJ and calls her a girl scout before giving her $20. A fight breaks out of course and Striker gets in the middle of it.
Kaitlyn makes another joke with AJ and says something about KGB before slapping her.
This was horrible and of course Jamie wins with the only funny line.
Michael Cole pops up and slams a random GONG at ringside and says everyone that bought a ticket should be gone as should the whole show. Only he and Matthews should stay. What the hell??? Cole basically just said this whole show sucks and only he and Josh, who he constantly bashes, are worth anything. The only question I have of course is WHY IS THERE A GONG AT RINGSIDE?
(And before everyone jumps on me, yes I’ve heard of the Gong Show)
The Bellas and Goldust come out to support their rookies.
Jamie vs. Aksana
Chimmel will be an obstacle in the obstacle course later. That’s just odd. Cole is all of a sudden fine again after telling 10,000+ people they wasted their time buying tickets to the show tonight. Cole and Matthews want their own teams and rookies next season. Absolutely nothing of note happens here until Jamie gets a rollup off a missed charge into the corner by Aksana. No rating for a minute match of course.
We profile Naomi and hear that she’s athletic and likes to dance, both of which we already knew. Very generic profile here which tells us nothing new about her at all.
Recap of Taker vs. Kane and while we’re waiting, here are a few quick stats for people that claim this pairing is stale:
Taker vs. Kane has not been a televised match since April of 2008. Their most recent match prior to that one: 2004 at Wrestlemania 20. Night of Champions will be their third match on television/PPV in nearly six and a half years. As a tag team: their most recent tag match together was in November 2009. Prior to that the most recent was April of 08, then January of 08, once in 07, 3 times in 06 and they were a regular team in 2001, for a grand total of 7 televised matches as the Brothers of Destruction since the company became known as WWE, or less than once a year on average.
Joey Styles will be doing an online chat tomorrow at 7pm for an online replay of tonight’s show. That could be very interesting.
We recap Kaitlyn and Dolph earlier with the highlight of Vickie’s jealousy. Dolph and Kaitlyn are in the back and here’s Vickie. She sends the younger woman away and threatens to leave Dolph if that happens again. This involves her putting her hands slightly in front of her body and shimmying back and forth a bit and saying “all of this.” I’ll be having nightmares for a week now.
Obstacle course up next. The course is the same as it was in Season 2.
Kaitlyn goes fires but here’s Vickie to continue being the star of the show. She’s in a different outfit here for no apparent reason. She’s going to run the course as this is turning into the Vickie Guerrero Show. After a lot of stretching she does ok on the tires but can’t do the hurdles that well. Actually this isn’t bad all things considered. The balance beam screws her over to an extent and she falls after it. The clock breaks a minute and she screams and cries, crossing in like a minute and twenty seven seconds, sending us to ANOTHER break.
At 10:59 Kaitlyn starts and does pretty well, getting 36.5 seconds and diving onto the anvil case in a nice little flash finish.
Aksana looks like a hybrid of Maryse and Trish. Shane she doesn’t have half their talent or so it seems. She just barely misses the time by less than a second.
AJ goes third and gets a fairly solid reaction. She’s pretty slow going over the hurdles. A mistake on the pushups and she’s done before she gets to the balance beam.
Maxine is fourth and is flying through this. She has it won but slips on the balance beam, costing her the win otherwise.
Jamie is the penultimate runner and should be good at this. The tires mess her up though as do the hurdles. She flies through the pushups though and loses by .3 seconds.
Naomi goes last and for no apparent reason has to redo the tires and the pushups, costing her an otherwise great time. Instead of doing one more she has to do all ten again. And the balance beam again. I don’t get it but of course she gets destroyed, giving Kaitlyn the win. Vickie comes out AGAIN to get face time.
Cole rings the gong one more time and declares this whole thing ridiculous. He talks about being a war correspondent and QUITS THE SHOW.
Results
Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn b. AJ/Primo – Zig Zag to Primo
Jamie won a Joke Off
Jamie b. Aksana – Rollup
Kaitlyn won the obstacle course
Wednesday
Surprisingly there were more people watching NXT this week than last week. That can’t be a good sign for wrestling fans.
Somas are now banned. They’re a pain killer so this is probably a good thing as allegedly they’re used like candy.
The 6’9 chick has confirmed she’d been released.
The channel that airs TNA in England is shutting down. No word yet on any new channels to air the show.
Thursday
Waltman got arrested for drug possession. Yeah I’m shocked too.
Impact
Date: September 16, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay
Episode Title: One More Time
We’re back after a one week absence due to the start of the NFL season. For those that might have missed it, Angle vs. Hardy had a great match with stupid booking to mess it up. Check out the No Surrender review for more details. Let’s get to it.
We open with video of Hardy and Angle talking about their match and explaining that they didn’t know the time limit either. We also see the cut that was too bad to continue. If the blood hadn’t been completely stopped I’d buy that but whatever. Angle says he wants Hardy again, which I’d agree with if the booking wasn’t so bad this time.
Angle and Hardy are in the ring and Eric joins them. Eric makes it a three way of course. Dixie comes out (looking great in a skirt) and says that the match was awesome. Did they mention the match was awesome? She’s overriding Eric and making the match AGAIN tonight with no time limit. Winner gets Anderson at BFG. This works. Was there any point in having Bischoff and her both out there though as the first announcement was more or less pointless.
Pope is MAD about something and talks to Sting and Nash about it, shaking their hands.
Dreamer says maybe EV 2.0 goes home now. You know that’s not going to happen but whatever.
Kevin Nash vs. Samoa Joe
Sting is with Nash of course. The fans are way behind Joe, who has Jarrett with him. He hits that running jumping big boot and Nash is in trouble. The JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU chant is always a bit chilling. The big brawl breaks out and no one is disqualified of course. And it’s a double countout of course.
The brawl goes longer than the match of course.
The BP have a Tag Title match later as Lacey is back from nowhere. Yep she’s still gorgeous.
Sting and Nash say nothing of note.
X Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Douglas Williams
Hey Jay Lethal is back. And he’s still in red and yellow. Williams lost to Lethal on Xplosion which you can’t watch on American TV due to it being the international show. Isn’t that nice? The xenophobic crowd chants USA of course. Apparently some areas do air Xplosion in the US. That’s news to me.
Chaos Theory is blocked and a Lethal Combination gets two. Big elbow misses after he takes forever to set it up. The belly to back into the neckbreaker ends it completely clean. What a shock. You have a young guy in a heel group that they want to push so a guy that hasn’t been around in a few weeks comes in and beats him. Oh and confetti comes out too. Glad they had that ready.
Abyss is dragging someone’s unconscious body through the back. Same old same old.
While we’re on a commercial, something I’d like to point out. I know I harp a lot on the matches being short, but in this first 40 minutes there are at least three distinct moments of wasting time. For one thing, the opening with Bischoff saying it’s a triple threat and then Dixie coming out to override him. That’s about two minutes you could add to the matches. A second instance is the brawl going on for about 2-3 minutes. That could have EASILY been cut down. Finally, the Nash/Sting promo where nothing was said. It was like thirty seconds long but adding 30 seconds to a two minute match is a big addition. This is what we mean by wasting time.
Kurt says he’ll win.
Knockouts Tag Titles: Taylor Wilde/Hamada vs. Madison Rayne/Lacey Von Erich
Madison and Tara kiss on the apron. Nice touch. I had forgotten who the champions were so this is nice for a reminder. There might have been a Lacey wardrobe malfunction early on. Lacey does some backflips but misses an elbow drop. Moonsault from Hamada (because she’s Japanese and has to uses that move you know) gets two. She kicks out a few more times then Hamada and Wilde beat the hell out of her and kick Madison to get the pin after Cryme Tyme’s old finisher. Total waste of time.
Madison freaks on Lacey afterwards and gets shoved down. Tara blasts her with the helmet and kicks her ass. Cue the Beautiful People for the save.
Hardy says he’ll win.
Dreamer is here in a suit and his eye seems fine. He calls out Fourtune and they seem to have a remix of Flair’s music. Not sure if that’s new or not. No Williams there. They do one hand signal and Flair does another. Well sure why not. Dreamer says he has a personal history of everyone in the ring which makes no sense but whatever.
He talks to each member and says how awesome they are, continuing to make Fourtune look like faces. Storm is better than Sandman apparently. Dreamer could have a future gimmick of Captain Obvious. Dreamer got Kaz his first job in WWE. Morgan is a great big man. Roode was offered a WWE contract by Dreamer. He thanks Flair because of how awesome he is. Flair is hardcore. Give me a break.
We finally get to AJ, who Dreamer says is better than he is. Again, throw him in a mask and put CAPTAIN OBVIOUS on his ass and we have a winner. Somehow Dreamer compliments him for nearly blinding him. AJ says Dreamer is all heart. He says he respects Dreamer and then of course we have the beatdown. Brian Kendrick runs in for the attempted save and gets his ass kicked.
Fourtune leaves and Kendrick grabs a mic. He says a bunch of technobabble and wants a match with any member of Fourtune RIGHT NOW. We go to a break, ending this 18 minute segment, which is about double the wrestling time so far tonight.
Matt Morgan vs. Brian Kendrick
We come back with this in progress and both in street clothes. Big elbows from Morgan as his shirt is covered in sweat. All Morgan so far as he pulls Kendrick up after a fall away slam. And then Kendrick hits a leg lariat and gets the clean pin. Lasted all of a minute and half.
Pope is still looking for Eric so he hits on Tessmacher to kill some time.
Abyss has someone tied up by chains and another guy on a table. They might be the Guns but I can’t tell. He says Janice needs a good man with her and pulls out Bob, a branding iron. He brands the guy on the table in what looks like his crotch.
RVD is on the phone and says he’ll be back soon. Actually he’ll be in the Impact Zone next week.
Generation ME is here to talk. Is that all we’re doing here tonight? They say that since they hurt Shelley so he can’t defend his title in 30 days. They’re dressed like the preppy kids you see at college and want to punch in the face for being douches so at least they look like heels. They want Sabin to come out and forfeit the belts. He hits the ring at a power walk and beats the hell out of them for a bit. Double elevated DDT on Sabin whose neck might be hurt.
Hardy vs. Angle is FINALLY next.
Shore arrives on 10/7. Oh great.
Same video package on the Hardy vs. Angle match as earlier as we waste EVEN MORE TIME.
Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle
And remember, THERE MUST BE A WINNER. No time limit either. Angle’s career is on the line of course here. They just kind of look at each other to start us off. And now it’s an armbar to keep things interesting here. We finally pick up the pace a bit after about two and a half minutes of nothing as Hardy goes for Angle’s previously injured ribs.
Front suplex gets two for Jeff and the fans boo a bit for some reason. Charge misses and Hardy hits the floor. Pescado by Angle and Anderson comes out for commentary as we take a break. We come back to see a double clothesline so both guys are laying down again. Anderson won’t say who he’d prefer to face at the PPV.
Angle Slam misses and Hardy hits the worst Twist of Fate ever. That was horrible. Angle does something that was supposed to be a spinning cross body for a cover but it more or less was a shoulder to Jeff’s head. Ankle lock goes on but Hardy kicks him off and is just fine in some of the worst selling I’ve ever seen. Swanton gets two and his head is busted open.
And there goes the referee. Angle Slam brings out another referee and I think I know what’s coming. Another Angle Slam gets two. Impact officially ends and we go into ReAction. Damn it I hate when things like this happen. If you can’t fit you whole damn show into 2 hours, THEN DON’T FUCKING HAVE TWENTY FUCKING MINUTES OF MOTHER FUCKING TOMMY DREAMER ON YOUR DAMN SHOW BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT FUCKING BULLSHIT!
Slingshot dropkick gets two and Angle gets knocked to the floor. Five Germans get two for Angle. Angle gets a leg lace which is like the way you would hold a Boston Crab on one leg but Angle is laying on his back as is Jeff. The other referee gets up and both he and Earl make the counts. Yep it’s a double pin. Bischoff comes out and we’ll have the decision right after this.
Keep in mind that it is now 11:15 so the ending of the show and the conclusion or lack thereof will be completely missed by anyone recording the show.
Bischoff makes it a three way dance of course, JUST LIKE WE HAD AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SHOW, making the last half hour TOTALLY POINTLESS.
Results
Samoa Joe vs. Kevin Nash went to a double countout
Jay Lethal b. Douglas Williams – Lethal Injection
Hamada/Taylor Wilde b. Madison Rayne/Lacey Von Erich – Samoan Drop/Neckbreaker combination
Brian Kendrick b. Matt Morgan – Leg Lariat
Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy ended in a draw – Double Pin
Friday
Smackdown
Date: September 17, 2010
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker
It’s the go home show for Night of Champions and most of the card is already set which is the perk of this show. The only thing not set is the tag title match which I guess there’s a chance we’ll set up tonight. The other thing we could get out of this is the no holds barred stipulation added to Taker vs. Kane. Let’s get to it.
I really like that theme song.
Kane will answer the Undertaker tonight. Punk vs. Christian also which should be a solid match.
Christian is in the ring for the Peep Show. I know a lot of people want him to get the big push but I think the problem is his name. As a casual fan how ¬excited would you get about a guy named Christian? It just comes off as uninteresting and has no pop. Watch his return to the company on ECW and listen to them say IT’S CHRISTIAN and you’ll get what I mean.
Anyway Alberto’s announcer interrupts Christian and of course here’s Alberto to probably set up their match at NOC. Christian says there are two Albertos (nice touch on his other ring name): the one here that is a very cool looking person, and the one we saw in the hours of BORING promos. The man speaks the truth.
There’s a big old bandage on Christian’s forehead. He says he’s seen it all and has outlasted them all. I’m assuming he means in the business as he took off three years from WWE. We get the Dos Equis (I probably spelled that wrong) reference as he asks if Alberto is the most interesting man in the world.
Alberto talks about Rey and how he’s going to change the company. We get the challenge for the PPV of course and Alberto says the interview is over. He’ll think about it though and he taps Christian on the chin. Christian channels his inner Stephanie and slaps the HELL out of Del Rio. On the ramp Alberto is ticked off but actually turns the match down. That grin is awesome.
Hart Dynasty vs. Cody Rhodes/Drew McIntyre
I liked the belts when they debuted on Raw but in the graphic here they looked terrible. They look like a ceramic plate you buy to celebrate Roman heritage month or something. As Rhodes makes his entrance, Grisham points out why he’s Dashing now and explains the Divas poll.
That’s something I really like about WWE: they explain things often. I know it gets annoying for people that watch all the time, but for a person that either hasn’t watched in awhile or is watching for the first time, you just got an explanation about why Rhodes is like that plus everything else you need to know about him in less than 15 seconds. That’s what a commentator is supposed to do and it worked very well here.
Drew and Smith start us off. We’re told the Harts will wrestle on Sunday but we just haven’t been told against whom. Cody comes in and David hits a NICE belly to belly on him as he pops the hips perfectly and throws Cody over his head. Natalya slaps him in the face and Cody is FURIOUS as we go to a break.
The announcers keep talking about how awesome the Harts are, more or less sealing their fate in losing here. Kidd hits a nice springboard wristlock which is something I remember Rey doing a few times. Rhodes continues his very old school style and also continues to make it work. Camel clutch on Kidd from Rhodes followed by a corner version of the Flash Kick that Morrison uses.
We get a Kawada reference that maybe 3% of the audience understood or noticed. Cody and David both get hot tags and Smith cleans house. Sharpshooter attempt is broken up by Drew but David walks into Cross Roads to end it clean. Yep there’s your title match and likely the new champions.
Here’s Kofi who says that the only reason Dolph has the title is Vickie and questions Dolph’s manhood. This is one of his better promos as he’s getting a bit of time out there and sounds interesting. He guarantees Trouble in Paradise this Sunday and calls his fans the Boom Squad.
Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston
Well this is a step up from MVP. Ankle lock attempt very early but Kofi evades. The second goes but is countered almost immediately. Swagger takes a break on the floor as Kofi has dominated other than the ankle lock attempts. Seated double chickenwing by the former world champion into a nice takedown.
Springboard forearm is caught in a nice powerslam by Swagger. We come back from a break and Jack is still in control, working on the ribs and back of Swagger. That’s fine if he tries to end it with the powerbomb, but if he goes for the ankle lock I’ll roll my eyes. Vader Bomb gets two. We hit the mat where of course Swagger dominates.
Pendulum kick is blocked and for no apparent reason we don’t get an ankle lock out of it. Could this be Swagger THINKING? We get a weird little sequence that looked like Kofi was just trying to get away but it looked like they missed something in there. Seated abdominal stretch to Kofi and he’s in trouble.
Kofi gets some knees/kicks from out of nowhere to set up a top rope cross body for two. Chops take Swagger down but the SOS is countered. Kofi goes for the Trouble in Paradise but in a nice counter Swagger just falls down so Kofi misses it. Ankle lock goes on for a bit as we hit the floor. Back in and the fourth attempt at the ankle lock is reversed. Swagger goes up and jumps into the boot to set up Trouble in Paradise to end it.
We go to the back to see the latest attempt to get Horny to talk. This time it’s a Catholic school with a nun. Teddy writes out ABC on his paper while Horny draws a picture of the teacher as Satan. Horny switches the papers and then throws a paper airplane at her. She tries to slap their knuckles with a ruler and Horny goes nuts. This was idiotic.
Kelly Kelly/Rosa Mendes vs. Laycool
Kaval is still hanging out with them and I can’t say I blame him. There’s something sexy about them unzipping the vests and just pulling them off. Why would anyone be afraid of Kelly? Has she ever won a match or anything like that? We finally get the bell after about a minute of this. Kelly rams Michelle’s head into the mat so Layla offers some breathing exercises.
Rosa comes in and swings at Michelle. Crowd has died it seems. This isn’t much at all so I can’t say I blame them. Layle hits her neckbreaker on Rosa for the clean pin. What happened to her wanting to be part of Laycool? Are we just forgetting that story?
Long but pretty good video about the Raw World Title match Sunday.
Laycool is in the back and has their names put in a hat for Kaval to pick out. Winner gets the match with Melina. Michelle wins it and Layla is kind of pissed off. Apparently there were a ton of papers in there and they all say Michelle. Layla says Michelle is alone Sunday.
CM Punk vs. Christian
Punk is on his own here which I think I like him better as. More or less he has to win the match on Sunday as it’s in his hometown and probably the final match of the feud. Alberto comes out for commentary. He goes on a short rant about Christian and Todd asks hima question. Del Rio: “Why are you talking to me?”
Fast paced start leads to a standoff and clapping. Christian hits some of his usual stuff before running into a knee. It could have been the shouting before he charged but maybe only I noticed that. Punk knocks him to the floor as we take a break.
Back and Punk has a leg vice on Christian. Abdominal stretch goes on for a little bit as Punk works the ribs. Matt Striker speaks Italian in your fact of the night. Both guys go down as we get a double count. Christian prevents the draw as Alberto speaks a lot of Spanish. Punk reverses the Killswitch into a rollup as this is a fairly good back and forth match.
Christian makes his comeback but Del Rio gets on the mic to say he’s reconsidered the offer from Christian. The distraction allows for the GTS to end it. Post match Del Rio puts a chair over Christian’s throat and says his answer is still no. Punk goes after Show who punches him into unconsciousness.
Kane comes out and says that this Sunday is the final chapter. He talks about how this time it’s going to be different and how he has the power now. More solid emotion here and we even get a reference to him starting this plan back in 1998, which is a BIG stretch but I can appreciate the effort. Kane agrees to no holds barred, which makes me think he could retain at the PPV.
He says Taker will rest in something but the lights go out and a gong sounds. DAMN IT I WANTED TO KNOW WHERE TAKER WAS GOING TO BE RESTING! No robe or anything here which is a weird look for Taker to say the least. Ok maybe not weird overall but it’s weird to see him come to the ring like that.
They go at it with no actual words spoken. Kane dominates to start as the fans chant for their hero. A single punch and the people are back into it. In something that’s a bit intriguing, Kane uses Taker’s moveset to beat him down. Chokeslam puts Taker down. Tombstone kills him dead and Kane doing Taker’s signature pose as the fire goes off ends the show.
Results
Cody Rhodes/Drew McIntyre b. Hart Dynasty – Cross Roads to Smith
Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger – Trouble in Paradise
Laycool b. Kelly Kelly/Rosa Mendes – Layout
CM Punk b. Christian – GTS
Legendary has more or less bombed so far, which was reported yesterday but I forgot to mention it. Something occurs to me though. The only trailer begins with the woman shouting “I want my son back, but I just don’t know how!” She doesn’t know how to what exactly? I get that it’s implied know how to get him back, but it’s a really awkwardly worded statement. I want him back but I just don’t know how…..to get him back? To find where he is? To make toast and a bowl of milk to sit out on the porch so that he’ll see it and come home? It just sounds weird.
Team 3D still might not sign new contracts with TNA, meaning nothing has changed since the last report on this.
Rey isn’t having knee surgery at the moment.
Raw
Date: September 13, 2010
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Star: Chad Ochocinco
This is the go home show for Night of Champions which is also billed as the season premiere as well as having the return of Raw Roulette. Oh and Cena vs. Orton. I was thinking about taking in this show but didn’t for no specific reason. This is designed to try to sway some viewers away from the Jets/Ravens game which should be solid. Raw is lucky for the timing because the show is starting at halftime. Let’s get to it.
We open with a shot of the wheel and pan out to see Cena and Orton. Matthews comes up and says EVERY match is a spin the wheel match. Cena wants Lady Luck to spin for him, bringing in Eve. It’s a tables match, and Cena isn’t thrilled because he lost the title to Sheamus in his last one.
There’s a cage above the ring.
The guest star is Chad Ochocinco, a hometown football star. This makes sense at least. Great way to make people forget about Monday Night Football as the theme song of it plays Chad to the ring. Chad is kind of nervous on the mic it seems but he’s trying. His team got slaughtered yesterday but he’s doing his thing. Cue Miz to run his mouth.
Cheap anti-Bengals heat which once again is fine. Chad says he has two words for him: child please. He goes off about how great Cinci sports have been lately, which is actually true. Miz and he had a decent back and forth thing, but if you don’t like football they make no sense. E-Mail time says spin the wheel for Miz’s match tonight. It’s a submission match, so take a guess as to his opponent. E-Mail #2 says Chad gets to pick the opponent, who naturally is Daniel Bryan.
Miz vs. Daniel Bryan
This is non-title of course. The match is underway after we come back from a break. Alex Riley is out here to back up Bryan, which makes me think that Miz has a chance on Sunday. Bryan misses a running knee in the corner so Miz goes after it. Miz gets a totally wrong figure four but Bryan counters.
LaBelle Lock (Crossface) doesn’t go on so Miz hits the floor for some reason. He might have some kind of injury or is likely faking. Yeah he gets a mic and says he has a hernia, so he needs to stop the match so that he can defend on Sunday. Naturally he doesn’t forfeit so Riley substitues for him. Riley taps in about a minute and Miz runs in for the beatdown. Skull Crushing Finale is blocked and Miz taps.
Edge and Jillian spin the wheel and Edge dances while she sings. Should he just get a shirt saying “Yes, I am turning face”? They spin the wheel a bit hard and we go to a break before we see the answer. Simple but effective I guess.
Some Bengals are here.
Edge comes out for his match and we don’t know who he’s fighting or what the match is. Ah ok it’s Evan Bourne.
Edge vs. Evan Bourne
It’s a body slam challenge. Wait…what? Edge goes for a slam immediately but gets nowhere. Who in the hell picked this? Bourne gets a LOUD enziguri and takes over. This lasts like 90 seconds as Edge just slams him for the pin. Spear afterwards.
In a move I predicted, the GM makes Edge have another body slam challenge, which is against Mark Henry.
Mark Henry vs. Edge
Henry gets a face pop, Edge can’t slam him, World’s Strongest Slam ends this in like 45 seconds. What the hell was the point of this segment?
R-Truth/Eve Torres vs. Ted DiBiase/Maryse
This is a Song and Dance match, whatever that means. One sings and the other dances. Truth doesn’t want to do his normal song because we heard it already. We get a different one this time which is something I can’t really understand nor do I want to. Eve dances in the ring while Truth walks around and slaps hands. Eve looks good but can’t really dance that well. She looks WAY too stiff.
DiBiase wants to forfeit but winds up singing My Way by Frank Sinatra while Maryse does a far better dance than Eve. Jerry: Pat Patterson is rolling over in his grave! Cole: He’s not dead! Lawler: Well that just killed him. A brawl breaks out and the faces win and Truth sings us out. I rate wrestling, not whatever this was. No winner is announced so no official match I guess.
Regal gets a trading places match, which means he has to dress like his opponent, which is Goldust. This could be either really bad or hilarious.
The Bellas hit on Chad and here comes Sheamus. Chad got an e-mail apparently and tells him that if Morrison beats Sheamus next he’s in the 6 Pack Challenge. The match is Falls Count Anywhere.
Ryder insists he’s not a tool to Edge. Edge says if he wins the title he’ll leave with the belt and go MIA. Sheamus pops up and says don’t hold your breath with Ryder shouting BURN and then leaving.
Morrison does a FREAKING AWESOME warm up as he jumps over boxes and crates in the back like he’s in a damn Jet Li moves. That was just cool as hell.
Sheamus vs. John Morrison
I’m not sure why but this sounds awesome as hell to me. It’s Falls Count Anywhere. Sheamus beats him down to start but Morrison does some gymnastics to get out of it. We head to the floor and into the crowd. Irish Curse on the floor and Morrison is in trouble. He gets dropped ribs first onto the railing near the production stuff for two. It was in the ribs of Morrison so of course it didn’t hurt.
Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick into a production box and it shoots sparks. Onto the stage and it’s all Sheamus. Morrison counters something but winds up getting thrown off the stage. He does a front flip though and lands on his feet. Flash Kick with Morrison getting a running jump up to the stage and using the edge like a top rope, somehow only getting two.
They fight more on the floor and Sheamus finds a chair. He hits the stage but Morrison somehow gets up on the NOC sign and hits a HUGE cross body off of it for TWO. Out of nowhere Jericho pops up and cracks Morrison over the back with a chair for Sheamus to get the pin. He sits in the ring as we go to break.
Jericho wants back into the match or he’ll quit. He wants to get back into the 6 Pack Challenge and if not he’ll go back home and watch Raw go up in flames. Jericho gets no response but says he’ll track down the GM and expose his identity. E-Mail time and Jericho cuts Cole off saying OF COURSE WE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION JUST READ THE E-MAIL.
The GM says there’s no chance that’ll work, no chance in hell. Jericho doesn’t buy it as McMahon isn’t a coward. He’s right too. Another e-mail and Jericho cuts him off again saying SHUT UP AND READ IT. Huge face pops for that. The 6 Pack is now elimination rules (SWEET) and Jericho is in it again. There’s another part but Jericho cuts him off.
Before he can leave it’s ANOTHER E-Mail. The GM says don’t EVER interrupt him again. Jericho is back in but has to win his match tonight, and it’s right now. Jericho is in a suit and wrestling boots, and it’s a handicap match vs. the Hart Dynasty IN A CAGE. No real reasons for the caps there but it looks good.
Hart Dynasty vs. Chris Jericho
Before we go to break Jericho is SCREAMING at Cole that he wants the e-mail address. Jericho was awesome in this segment as when he goes nuts he’s just great. This is under elimination rules and the Hart Attack hits like 30 seconds in. The Harts both start leaving but Jericho stops Kidd while Smith gets out.
This makes it Tyson vs. Jericho in a cage match. Kidd has a chance to leave but hits a cross body instead. Jericho tries to run but gets caught. He’s in dress pants here so this can’t be easy. Kidd goes for a top rope dropkick but gets caught in the Walls. Ok maybe not as a rollup gets two and there’s the Sharpshooter.
We fight on the top rope a bit and Tyson goes for a rana. Jericho dives into it and jumps off the top while hooking the Walls. Kidd’s head CRACKS into the mat and he has to tap. That was awesome looking but it could have been a broken neck. He looks like he’s ok though, but damn that was risky.
Pete Rose is here. I’d love a Kane sighting.
Goldust vs. William Regal
Goldie is in the Regal one piece swimsuit with the hair. Regal goes full bore complete with face paint. He looks frighteningly similar actually. Goldust (I’ll mean the real one when I say that in this match) is in good shape actually. Regal does the Goldust taunt PERFECTLY but Goldust pulls out brass knuckles and pops Regal to end this in like 15 seconds. The Regal imitation of Goldust was absolutely awesome.
Chad comes out again and has a special guest announcer for the main event: himself.
Randy Orton vs. John Cena
LONG feeling out process as we get an RKO chant. Nothing of note happens other than Orton trying a suplex over the ropes to put Cena through as we go to a break. We’re back and they’re slugging it out to the BOO/YAY chants. This is your usual main event war which isn’t as good as they make it out to be but they’re making it look important at least.
Cena goes for the FU but Orton counters into a DDT. Table set up in the corner by the bald one but Cena starts a comeback. Orton overpowers that comeback with a comeback of his own. CENA comes back and here comes Nexus to break up the STFU. Orton and Cena fight them off as well as they can and get rid of Tarver and Slater but get taken down. Wasteland to Cena.
Gabriel and Barrett set up a table and try to set up the 450 through it. Orton saves but Barrett kicks his head off. Barrett goes for Wasteland over the top but Orton counters and sends the British dude through it. Cena is still out as Orton sets up a table in the middle to go with the one in the corner.
Cue Edge and Jericho for the run in but Edge spears Jericho through the table by mistake. Cene is getting back up and here’s Sheamus to complete the run-in palooza. He goes after Cena on the floor and winds up taking an FU out there. Well of course he does since he’s the champion. Elevated DDT is blocked into an FU, but Orton flips forward and pulls him down into the RKO through the table! Lots of posing ends the show.
Results
Daniel Bryan b. Alex Riley (Mid match substitution for Miz) – LaBelle Lock
Edge b. Evan Bourne – Edge slammed Bourne
Mark Henry b. Edge – World’s Strongest Slam
Sheamus b. John Morrison – Pin after a Jericho chair shot
Goldust b. William Regal – Pin after a shot with brass knuckles
Randy Orton b. John Cena – RKO through a table
Tuesday
Apparently Matt has HUGE heat on him in the locker room and is in real danger of being released. Most interesting.
Skip Sheffield is out until January. Damn they were pushing him strong too.
Raw got a 3.0. The Monday Night Football games got a combined 10.9.
NXT
Date: September 14, 2010
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
It’s week #2 here and this should be an interesting rating. Last week’s show was more or less even with the final NXT Season Two ratings. I wonder how much focus on the wrestling they’re going to have as last week’s was kind of a disaster so hopefully it’s better tonight. Let’s get to it.
No recap or anything as we open with the theme song. The first elimination is in three weeks.
Vickie opens the show as Cole cheers her on. It’s fine when Lawler or a sidekick does it but when the lead commentator does it then it’s a bit annoying. She brings out Dolph Ziggler so at least we get some solid music. There are tires in the aisle so it’s obstacle course night.
We get clips from last week where Vickie sent Kaitlyn after AJ to end the show. I don’t know if it’s the HD feed but the ring looks much smaller.
Primo/AJ vs. Kaitlyn/Dolph Ziggler
The boys start us off which lasts about 20 seconds. AJ used to be homeless and according to Cole she’ll be homeless again in about three weeks. Cross body by AJ for one before Kaitlyn takes her head off and tags out. Men vs. women is illegal here but we get it for a second anyway. AJ can’t get by Dolph so she slaps him in the face.
Again I would often advise that as a solution to a problem: when all else fails just HIT THEM IN THE FACE. Primo comes in and has about 20 seconds of offense, cementing his jobber status before the Zig Zag ends it. Kaitlyn and Dolph celebrate, making Vickie jealous.
Maxine gets profiled and we hear about how she’s been around a camera all the time. She likes her eyes apparently. She looks much better with curled hair than with straight like it was last week.
Next up is a joke off. Oh dear.
We get a new trailer for Legendary. If this had been four weeks ago I might actually care but that annoying woman shouting about wanting her son back but not knowing how has driven me away. Quick question: what does she not know how to do? I get that they’re implying get her son back but it’s really oddly worded. Does she not know how to get him back? Not know how to make Baked Alaska? Not know how to tie her shoes?
Kaitlyn and AJ are in the ring and we bring down the other four. Aksana looks FAR better this week than last time. Jamie needs to eat a sandwich. Maxine has the straight hair again which doesn’t work at all for her. Naomi is in blue which works better than the purple and black for her.
It’s time for the joke off and the audience is the judge. Could they make this any more obvious? AJ makes a dumb blonde joke which gets booed badly. The punch line wasn’t any good and she talked too fast.
Aksana says her joke in I’m assuming Lithuanian. She makes a really bad marriage joke than I didn’t get at all.
Jamie asks for crowd help and does a knock knock joke about AJ. She makes them do it again but with Aksana. The crowd says who. Jamie: EXACTLY. Ok that was good.
Naomi asks what you call a dog with no legs. It doesn’t matter because they’re not coming.
Maxine says she has five jokes with her in the ring and picks AJ and calls her a girl scout before giving her $20. A fight breaks out of course and Striker gets in the middle of it.
Kaitlyn makes another joke with AJ and says something about KGB before slapping her.
This was horrible and of course Jamie wins with the only funny line.
Michael Cole pops up and slams a random GONG at ringside and says everyone that bought a ticket should be gone as should the whole show. Only he and Matthews should stay. What the hell??? Cole basically just said this whole show sucks and only he and Josh, who he constantly bashes, are worth anything. The only question I have of course is WHY IS THERE A GONG AT RINGSIDE?
(And before everyone jumps on me, yes I’ve heard of the Gong Show)
The Bellas and Goldust come out to support their rookies.
Jamie vs. Aksana
Chimmel will be an obstacle in the obstacle course later. That’s just odd. Cole is all of a sudden fine again after telling 10,000+ people they wasted their time buying tickets to the show tonight. Cole and Matthews want their own teams and rookies next season. Absolutely nothing of note happens here until Jamie gets a rollup off a missed charge into the corner by Aksana. No rating for a minute match of course.
We profile Naomi and hear that she’s athletic and likes to dance, both of which we already knew. Very generic profile here which tells us nothing new about her at all.
Recap of Taker vs. Kane and while we’re waiting, here are a few quick stats for people that claim this pairing is stale:
Taker vs. Kane has not been a televised match since April of 2008. Their most recent match prior to that one: 2004 at Wrestlemania 20. Night of Champions will be their third match on television/PPV in nearly six and a half years. As a tag team: their most recent tag match together was in November 2009. Prior to that the most recent was April of 08, then January of 08, once in 07, 3 times in 06 and they were a regular team in 2001, for a grand total of 7 televised matches as the Brothers of Destruction since the company became known as WWE, or less than once a year on average.
Joey Styles will be doing an online chat tomorrow at 7pm for an online replay of tonight’s show. That could be very interesting.
We recap Kaitlyn and Dolph earlier with the highlight of Vickie’s jealousy. Dolph and Kaitlyn are in the back and here’s Vickie. She sends the younger woman away and threatens to leave Dolph if that happens again. This involves her putting her hands slightly in front of her body and shimmying back and forth a bit and saying “all of this.” I’ll be having nightmares for a week now.
Obstacle course up next. The course is the same as it was in Season 2.
Kaitlyn goes fires but here’s Vickie to continue being the star of the show. She’s in a different outfit here for no apparent reason. She’s going to run the course as this is turning into the Vickie Guerrero Show. After a lot of stretching she does ok on the tires but can’t do the hurdles that well. Actually this isn’t bad all things considered. The balance beam screws her over to an extent and she falls after it. The clock breaks a minute and she screams and cries, crossing in like a minute and twenty seven seconds, sending us to ANOTHER break.
At 10:59 Kaitlyn starts and does pretty well, getting 36.5 seconds and diving onto the anvil case in a nice little flash finish.
Aksana looks like a hybrid of Maryse and Trish. Shane she doesn’t have half their talent or so it seems. She just barely misses the time by less than a second.
AJ goes third and gets a fairly solid reaction. She’s pretty slow going over the hurdles. A mistake on the pushups and she’s done before she gets to the balance beam.
Maxine is fourth and is flying through this. She has it won but slips on the balance beam, costing her the win otherwise.
Jamie is the penultimate runner and should be good at this. The tires mess her up though as do the hurdles. She flies through the pushups though and loses by .3 seconds.
Naomi goes last and for no apparent reason has to redo the tires and the pushups, costing her an otherwise great time. Instead of doing one more she has to do all ten again. And the balance beam again. I don’t get it but of course she gets destroyed, giving Kaitlyn the win. Vickie comes out AGAIN to get face time.
Cole rings the gong one more time and declares this whole thing ridiculous. He talks about being a war correspondent and QUITS THE SHOW.
Results
Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn b. AJ/Primo – Zig Zag to Primo
Jamie won a Joke Off
Jamie b. Aksana – Rollup
Kaitlyn won the obstacle course
Wednesday
Surprisingly there were more people watching NXT this week than last week. That can’t be a good sign for wrestling fans.
Somas are now banned. They’re a pain killer so this is probably a good thing as allegedly they’re used like candy.
The 6’9 chick has confirmed she’d been released.
The channel that airs TNA in England is shutting down. No word yet on any new channels to air the show.
Thursday
Waltman got arrested for drug possession. Yeah I’m shocked too.
Impact
Date: September 16, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay
Episode Title: One More Time
We’re back after a one week absence due to the start of the NFL season. For those that might have missed it, Angle vs. Hardy had a great match with stupid booking to mess it up. Check out the No Surrender review for more details. Let’s get to it.
We open with video of Hardy and Angle talking about their match and explaining that they didn’t know the time limit either. We also see the cut that was too bad to continue. If the blood hadn’t been completely stopped I’d buy that but whatever. Angle says he wants Hardy again, which I’d agree with if the booking wasn’t so bad this time.
Angle and Hardy are in the ring and Eric joins them. Eric makes it a three way of course. Dixie comes out (looking great in a skirt) and says that the match was awesome. Did they mention the match was awesome? She’s overriding Eric and making the match AGAIN tonight with no time limit. Winner gets Anderson at BFG. This works. Was there any point in having Bischoff and her both out there though as the first announcement was more or less pointless.
Pope is MAD about something and talks to Sting and Nash about it, shaking their hands.
Dreamer says maybe EV 2.0 goes home now. You know that’s not going to happen but whatever.
Kevin Nash vs. Samoa Joe
Sting is with Nash of course. The fans are way behind Joe, who has Jarrett with him. He hits that running jumping big boot and Nash is in trouble. The JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU chant is always a bit chilling. The big brawl breaks out and no one is disqualified of course. And it’s a double countout of course.
The brawl goes longer than the match of course.
The BP have a Tag Title match later as Lacey is back from nowhere. Yep she’s still gorgeous.
Sting and Nash say nothing of note.
X Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Douglas Williams
Hey Jay Lethal is back. And he’s still in red and yellow. Williams lost to Lethal on Xplosion which you can’t watch on American TV due to it being the international show. Isn’t that nice? The xenophobic crowd chants USA of course. Apparently some areas do air Xplosion in the US. That’s news to me.
Chaos Theory is blocked and a Lethal Combination gets two. Big elbow misses after he takes forever to set it up. The belly to back into the neckbreaker ends it completely clean. What a shock. You have a young guy in a heel group that they want to push so a guy that hasn’t been around in a few weeks comes in and beats him. Oh and confetti comes out too. Glad they had that ready.
Abyss is dragging someone’s unconscious body through the back. Same old same old.
While we’re on a commercial, something I’d like to point out. I know I harp a lot on the matches being short, but in this first 40 minutes there are at least three distinct moments of wasting time. For one thing, the opening with Bischoff saying it’s a triple threat and then Dixie coming out to override him. That’s about two minutes you could add to the matches. A second instance is the brawl going on for about 2-3 minutes. That could have EASILY been cut down. Finally, the Nash/Sting promo where nothing was said. It was like thirty seconds long but adding 30 seconds to a two minute match is a big addition. This is what we mean by wasting time.
Kurt says he’ll win.
Knockouts Tag Titles: Taylor Wilde/Hamada vs. Madison Rayne/Lacey Von Erich
Madison and Tara kiss on the apron. Nice touch. I had forgotten who the champions were so this is nice for a reminder. There might have been a Lacey wardrobe malfunction early on. Lacey does some backflips but misses an elbow drop. Moonsault from Hamada (because she’s Japanese and has to uses that move you know) gets two. She kicks out a few more times then Hamada and Wilde beat the hell out of her and kick Madison to get the pin after Cryme Tyme’s old finisher. Total waste of time.
Madison freaks on Lacey afterwards and gets shoved down. Tara blasts her with the helmet and kicks her ass. Cue the Beautiful People for the save.
Hardy says he’ll win.
Dreamer is here in a suit and his eye seems fine. He calls out Fourtune and they seem to have a remix of Flair’s music. Not sure if that’s new or not. No Williams there. They do one hand signal and Flair does another. Well sure why not. Dreamer says he has a personal history of everyone in the ring which makes no sense but whatever.
He talks to each member and says how awesome they are, continuing to make Fourtune look like faces. Storm is better than Sandman apparently. Dreamer could have a future gimmick of Captain Obvious. Dreamer got Kaz his first job in WWE. Morgan is a great big man. Roode was offered a WWE contract by Dreamer. He thanks Flair because of how awesome he is. Flair is hardcore. Give me a break.
We finally get to AJ, who Dreamer says is better than he is. Again, throw him in a mask and put CAPTAIN OBVIOUS on his ass and we have a winner. Somehow Dreamer compliments him for nearly blinding him. AJ says Dreamer is all heart. He says he respects Dreamer and then of course we have the beatdown. Brian Kendrick runs in for the attempted save and gets his ass kicked.
Fourtune leaves and Kendrick grabs a mic. He says a bunch of technobabble and wants a match with any member of Fourtune RIGHT NOW. We go to a break, ending this 18 minute segment, which is about double the wrestling time so far tonight.
Matt Morgan vs. Brian Kendrick
We come back with this in progress and both in street clothes. Big elbows from Morgan as his shirt is covered in sweat. All Morgan so far as he pulls Kendrick up after a fall away slam. And then Kendrick hits a leg lariat and gets the clean pin. Lasted all of a minute and half.
Pope is still looking for Eric so he hits on Tessmacher to kill some time.
Abyss has someone tied up by chains and another guy on a table. They might be the Guns but I can’t tell. He says Janice needs a good man with her and pulls out Bob, a branding iron. He brands the guy on the table in what looks like his crotch.
RVD is on the phone and says he’ll be back soon. Actually he’ll be in the Impact Zone next week.
Generation ME is here to talk. Is that all we’re doing here tonight? They say that since they hurt Shelley so he can’t defend his title in 30 days. They’re dressed like the preppy kids you see at college and want to punch in the face for being douches so at least they look like heels. They want Sabin to come out and forfeit the belts. He hits the ring at a power walk and beats the hell out of them for a bit. Double elevated DDT on Sabin whose neck might be hurt.
Hardy vs. Angle is FINALLY next.
Shore arrives on 10/7. Oh great.
Same video package on the Hardy vs. Angle match as earlier as we waste EVEN MORE TIME.
Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle
And remember, THERE MUST BE A WINNER. No time limit either. Angle’s career is on the line of course here. They just kind of look at each other to start us off. And now it’s an armbar to keep things interesting here. We finally pick up the pace a bit after about two and a half minutes of nothing as Hardy goes for Angle’s previously injured ribs.
Front suplex gets two for Jeff and the fans boo a bit for some reason. Charge misses and Hardy hits the floor. Pescado by Angle and Anderson comes out for commentary as we take a break. We come back to see a double clothesline so both guys are laying down again. Anderson won’t say who he’d prefer to face at the PPV.
Angle Slam misses and Hardy hits the worst Twist of Fate ever. That was horrible. Angle does something that was supposed to be a spinning cross body for a cover but it more or less was a shoulder to Jeff’s head. Ankle lock goes on but Hardy kicks him off and is just fine in some of the worst selling I’ve ever seen. Swanton gets two and his head is busted open.
And there goes the referee. Angle Slam brings out another referee and I think I know what’s coming. Another Angle Slam gets two. Impact officially ends and we go into ReAction. Damn it I hate when things like this happen. If you can’t fit you whole damn show into 2 hours, THEN DON’T FUCKING HAVE TWENTY FUCKING MINUTES OF MOTHER FUCKING TOMMY DREAMER ON YOUR DAMN SHOW BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT FUCKING BULLSHIT!
Slingshot dropkick gets two and Angle gets knocked to the floor. Five Germans get two for Angle. Angle gets a leg lace which is like the way you would hold a Boston Crab on one leg but Angle is laying on his back as is Jeff. The other referee gets up and both he and Earl make the counts. Yep it’s a double pin. Bischoff comes out and we’ll have the decision right after this.
Keep in mind that it is now 11:15 so the ending of the show and the conclusion or lack thereof will be completely missed by anyone recording the show.
Bischoff makes it a three way dance of course, JUST LIKE WE HAD AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SHOW, making the last half hour TOTALLY POINTLESS.
Results
Samoa Joe vs. Kevin Nash went to a double countout
Jay Lethal b. Douglas Williams – Lethal Injection
Hamada/Taylor Wilde b. Madison Rayne/Lacey Von Erich – Samoan Drop/Neckbreaker combination
Brian Kendrick b. Matt Morgan – Leg Lariat
Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy ended in a draw – Double Pin
Friday
Smackdown
Date: September 17, 2010
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker
It’s the go home show for Night of Champions and most of the card is already set which is the perk of this show. The only thing not set is the tag title match which I guess there’s a chance we’ll set up tonight. The other thing we could get out of this is the no holds barred stipulation added to Taker vs. Kane. Let’s get to it.
I really like that theme song.
Kane will answer the Undertaker tonight. Punk vs. Christian also which should be a solid match.
Christian is in the ring for the Peep Show. I know a lot of people want him to get the big push but I think the problem is his name. As a casual fan how ¬excited would you get about a guy named Christian? It just comes off as uninteresting and has no pop. Watch his return to the company on ECW and listen to them say IT’S CHRISTIAN and you’ll get what I mean.
Anyway Alberto’s announcer interrupts Christian and of course here’s Alberto to probably set up their match at NOC. Christian says there are two Albertos (nice touch on his other ring name): the one here that is a very cool looking person, and the one we saw in the hours of BORING promos. The man speaks the truth.
There’s a big old bandage on Christian’s forehead. He says he’s seen it all and has outlasted them all. I’m assuming he means in the business as he took off three years from WWE. We get the Dos Equis (I probably spelled that wrong) reference as he asks if Alberto is the most interesting man in the world.
Alberto talks about Rey and how he’s going to change the company. We get the challenge for the PPV of course and Alberto says the interview is over. He’ll think about it though and he taps Christian on the chin. Christian channels his inner Stephanie and slaps the HELL out of Del Rio. On the ramp Alberto is ticked off but actually turns the match down. That grin is awesome.
Hart Dynasty vs. Cody Rhodes/Drew McIntyre
I liked the belts when they debuted on Raw but in the graphic here they looked terrible. They look like a ceramic plate you buy to celebrate Roman heritage month or something. As Rhodes makes his entrance, Grisham points out why he’s Dashing now and explains the Divas poll.
That’s something I really like about WWE: they explain things often. I know it gets annoying for people that watch all the time, but for a person that either hasn’t watched in awhile or is watching for the first time, you just got an explanation about why Rhodes is like that plus everything else you need to know about him in less than 15 seconds. That’s what a commentator is supposed to do and it worked very well here.
Drew and Smith start us off. We’re told the Harts will wrestle on Sunday but we just haven’t been told against whom. Cody comes in and David hits a NICE belly to belly on him as he pops the hips perfectly and throws Cody over his head. Natalya slaps him in the face and Cody is FURIOUS as we go to a break.
The announcers keep talking about how awesome the Harts are, more or less sealing their fate in losing here. Kidd hits a nice springboard wristlock which is something I remember Rey doing a few times. Rhodes continues his very old school style and also continues to make it work. Camel clutch on Kidd from Rhodes followed by a corner version of the Flash Kick that Morrison uses.
We get a Kawada reference that maybe 3% of the audience understood or noticed. Cody and David both get hot tags and Smith cleans house. Sharpshooter attempt is broken up by Drew but David walks into Cross Roads to end it clean. Yep there’s your title match and likely the new champions.
Here’s Kofi who says that the only reason Dolph has the title is Vickie and questions Dolph’s manhood. This is one of his better promos as he’s getting a bit of time out there and sounds interesting. He guarantees Trouble in Paradise this Sunday and calls his fans the Boom Squad.
Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston
Well this is a step up from MVP. Ankle lock attempt very early but Kofi evades. The second goes but is countered almost immediately. Swagger takes a break on the floor as Kofi has dominated other than the ankle lock attempts. Seated double chickenwing by the former world champion into a nice takedown.
Springboard forearm is caught in a nice powerslam by Swagger. We come back from a break and Jack is still in control, working on the ribs and back of Swagger. That’s fine if he tries to end it with the powerbomb, but if he goes for the ankle lock I’ll roll my eyes. Vader Bomb gets two. We hit the mat where of course Swagger dominates.
Pendulum kick is blocked and for no apparent reason we don’t get an ankle lock out of it. Could this be Swagger THINKING? We get a weird little sequence that looked like Kofi was just trying to get away but it looked like they missed something in there. Seated abdominal stretch to Kofi and he’s in trouble.
Kofi gets some knees/kicks from out of nowhere to set up a top rope cross body for two. Chops take Swagger down but the SOS is countered. Kofi goes for the Trouble in Paradise but in a nice counter Swagger just falls down so Kofi misses it. Ankle lock goes on for a bit as we hit the floor. Back in and the fourth attempt at the ankle lock is reversed. Swagger goes up and jumps into the boot to set up Trouble in Paradise to end it.
We go to the back to see the latest attempt to get Horny to talk. This time it’s a Catholic school with a nun. Teddy writes out ABC on his paper while Horny draws a picture of the teacher as Satan. Horny switches the papers and then throws a paper airplane at her. She tries to slap their knuckles with a ruler and Horny goes nuts. This was idiotic.
Kelly Kelly/Rosa Mendes vs. Laycool
Kaval is still hanging out with them and I can’t say I blame him. There’s something sexy about them unzipping the vests and just pulling them off. Why would anyone be afraid of Kelly? Has she ever won a match or anything like that? We finally get the bell after about a minute of this. Kelly rams Michelle’s head into the mat so Layla offers some breathing exercises.
Rosa comes in and swings at Michelle. Crowd has died it seems. This isn’t much at all so I can’t say I blame them. Layle hits her neckbreaker on Rosa for the clean pin. What happened to her wanting to be part of Laycool? Are we just forgetting that story?
Long but pretty good video about the Raw World Title match Sunday.
Laycool is in the back and has their names put in a hat for Kaval to pick out. Winner gets the match with Melina. Michelle wins it and Layla is kind of pissed off. Apparently there were a ton of papers in there and they all say Michelle. Layla says Michelle is alone Sunday.
CM Punk vs. Christian
Punk is on his own here which I think I like him better as. More or less he has to win the match on Sunday as it’s in his hometown and probably the final match of the feud. Alberto comes out for commentary. He goes on a short rant about Christian and Todd asks hima question. Del Rio: “Why are you talking to me?”
Fast paced start leads to a standoff and clapping. Christian hits some of his usual stuff before running into a knee. It could have been the shouting before he charged but maybe only I noticed that. Punk knocks him to the floor as we take a break.
Back and Punk has a leg vice on Christian. Abdominal stretch goes on for a little bit as Punk works the ribs. Matt Striker speaks Italian in your fact of the night. Both guys go down as we get a double count. Christian prevents the draw as Alberto speaks a lot of Spanish. Punk reverses the Killswitch into a rollup as this is a fairly good back and forth match.
Christian makes his comeback but Del Rio gets on the mic to say he’s reconsidered the offer from Christian. The distraction allows for the GTS to end it. Post match Del Rio puts a chair over Christian’s throat and says his answer is still no. Punk goes after Show who punches him into unconsciousness.
Kane comes out and says that this Sunday is the final chapter. He talks about how this time it’s going to be different and how he has the power now. More solid emotion here and we even get a reference to him starting this plan back in 1998, which is a BIG stretch but I can appreciate the effort. Kane agrees to no holds barred, which makes me think he could retain at the PPV.
He says Taker will rest in something but the lights go out and a gong sounds. DAMN IT I WANTED TO KNOW WHERE TAKER WAS GOING TO BE RESTING! No robe or anything here which is a weird look for Taker to say the least. Ok maybe not weird overall but it’s weird to see him come to the ring like that.
They go at it with no actual words spoken. Kane dominates to start as the fans chant for their hero. A single punch and the people are back into it. In something that’s a bit intriguing, Kane uses Taker’s moveset to beat him down. Chokeslam puts Taker down. Tombstone kills him dead and Kane doing Taker’s signature pose as the fire goes off ends the show.
Results
Cody Rhodes/Drew McIntyre b. Hart Dynasty – Cross Roads to Smith
Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger – Trouble in Paradise
Laycool b. Kelly Kelly/Rosa Mendes – Layout
CM Punk b. Christian – GTS