klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 23, 2018
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman
It’s a big night around here and you know that because the official preview for the show is a big picture of Stephanie McMahon. She has some kind of a major announcement tonight and since she’s Stephanie, that’s put above the #1 contenders match and tonight’s title match. That’s the level of priorities around here so let’s get to it.
The roster (including Nikki Cross) is on the stage and Vince McMahon is in the ring to introduce HHH and Stephanie McMahon for the big announcement. HHH thanks all of the wrestlers across all brands, including NXT. There has never been a stronger bond than the one we have right now and that includes the women’s division.
HHH asks them to come forward so the women’s division (including the Smackdown women’s division) steps to the front. HHH talks about everything the women have done in recent years, including all those main events. Stephanie recaps the Give Divas A Chance and announces the first ever all women’s pay per view, called Evolution.
Cole gives us some more details: the Raw, Smackdown and NXT Women’s Titles will be defended, plus the finals of the Mae Young Classic will take place and the event is October 28 in the Nassau Coliseum.
It’s a cool announcement, but this is WWE’s version of history. Yeah it sucked when WWE was giving the women thirty second matches, but who ok’d those matches? That would be the people in the ring making the big announcement and treating it like the most amazing thing in the world. Throw in there being no real reason for Stephanie to be in there other than she was suddenly part of the whole thing and this wasn’t quite as perfect as WWE would like you to believe it is. Oh and can we get a Sara Amato shout out? I’m certain she’s earned one.
The B Team is thrilled with everything they’ve done in the last few weeks and wouldn’t want this to be with anyone else. They’re ready to defend their titles….which they forget in the locker room.
Elias is in the ring for his song but gets cut off by the first match.
Tag Team Titles: Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt vs. B Team
The B Team is defending. Bray and Dallas start things off for the family reunion and Wyatt runs him over with little effort. The champs throw Wyatt down but he spiders up to send them outside. Back from a break with Bray fighting out of a chinlock as the Revival watches on. Again. Do something with that already. The hard clothesline sets up the hot tag to Hardy for some clotheslines of his own. The Side Effect gets two and the Twist of Fate gets the same with Axel making the save. Dallas shoves Wyatt into Matt, knocking him into a crucifix to give Axel the retaining pin at 8:17. Axel is rather confused.
Post match Matt says that was wonderful and then beats the B Team down with Wyatt joining in. So yes, it is continuing.
Finn Balor and Chad Gable are in the back, casually talking about Evolution when a production worker comes up, carrying Balor’s gear. Apparently it’s being put in a new dressing room. That would be a doll house, as ordered by Baron Corbin. Baron pops up to make a bunch of jokes about Balor being short. IT’S STILL NOT FREAKING FUNNY!
We recap the Bayley and Sasha Banks story from last week.
Bayley and Sasha say they’re ready to be on the same team (write your own jokes) and they’re very excited about the pay per view. Bayley was glad to hear what Sasha said last week and that’s about it. I’m going to assume more is coming from this later.
There will be legends and past superstars on Evolution. Makes sense given the name, but I’m not sure how necessary they are. There could be some very interesting dream matches in there though.
Sasha Banks/Bayley vs. Samantha Simon/Karen Lundy
Banks knees Simon in the corner to start and cranks on the arm before Bayley comes in for a toss into the corner. A kick to the face sets up the Bank Statement to make Lundy tap at 1:22.
Post match Sasha hugs Bayley...and that’s it.
Here’s Elias again but this time it’s Braun Strowman interrupting. After congratulating the women on getting her own pay per view, it’s time to talk about Bobby Lashley vs. Roman Reigns in the #1 contendership match later tonight. It doesn’t matter who wins because he’ll be cashing in soon. Cue Kevin Owens to talk about Strowman ruining his kids’ dreams because Strowman has shown that Owens is breakable. Now it’s time for Owens to take everything away from him so Strowman says come try it.
This brings out Baron Corbin to say Stephanie has empowered him to handle this. Strowman needs help controlling his temper so here’s Jinder Mahal. We get some breathing exercises but Strowman says this isn’t working. He has Sunil Singh hold up a microphone because it’s time for Strowman’s breathing exercise. Everyone needs to close their eyes and chant with him: GET THESE HANDS! The beatdown doesn’t take long.
We recap the opening announcement.
A bunch of women have tweeted about Evolution.
We look back at Ronda Rousey coming back last week to attack Mickie James and Alexa Bliss. This earned her a Women’s Title match at Summerslam.
Mickie James vs. Natalya
Natalya elbows her down to start but Alexa Bliss offers a distraction so Mickie can take over. A front facelock and chinlock keep Natalya down but she fights up with an electric chair. Another Bliss distraction draws Natalya to the floor though and Mickie hits a superkick for the pin at 3:46.
Video on WWE winning the Sports Humanitarian Award.
Reigns is going to win tonight and doesn’t care if he’s crammed down our throats because nothing is changing. He’s taking Lesnar’s title at Summerslam.
Elias tries again but this time it’s the Authors of Pain interrupting. They want competition other than Titus Worldwide. Cue Titus Worldwide to say the Authors have a lot to learn about WWE. Rezar: “To do what? How to trip and fall all over ourselves?” Apollo talks about how great Titus has been to him and wants the Authors to show Titus some respect. If they had Titus’ qualities, they would be champions as well as championship quality people. Akam thinks Titus should retire so the fight is on and the Authors are cleared out.
Angle and Stephanie talk about the pay per view some more when Corbin and Owens come in. Stephanie is proud of Owens and asks how he’s doing. Owens is ok and says he wants to face Strowman for the briefcase at Summerslam. Angle says no but Stephanie makes the match. I’m all for the idea of the briefcase being defended.
Tyler Breeze vs. Mojo Rawley
Mojo wastes no time in running Breeze over as we go to an inset interview with Bobby Roode. He’s not happy with what Mojo has said on social media and wants Rawley to stop hiding behind a keyboard. Breeze’s comeback gets him driven into the corner and the sitout Alabama Slam gives Rawley the pin at 2:18.
Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre say their plan is clearly working because Ziggler is Intercontinental Champion and McIntyre doesn’t lose. Tonight he’ll take out Finn Balor.
Elias. Balor this time.
Finn Balor vs. Drew McIntyre
Balor slugs away at the much bigger McIntyre and a dropkick puts him on the floor. The big flip dive puts McIntyre down again and we take a break. Back with Drew putting on an armbar with a chinlock. Balor fights up and scores with a DDT but it’s too early for the Coup de Grace. Instead he DDTs McIntyre down, drawing in Ziggler for the DQ at 7:11.
The beatdown is on until Seth Rollins makes the save. Angle comes out and the tag match is on.
Finn Balor/Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler
The good guys clean house and we take an early break. Back with Ziggler still in trouble until a dropkick is enough to bring in McIntyre. It’s Balor’s turn to take a beating with Drew slowly pounding him down without much effort. A missed charge allows the hot tag to Rollins though and the pace picks right back up.
The Blockbuster gets two on McIntyre Balor hits the Sling Blade on Ziggler and McIntyre’s reverse Alabama Slam is good for the same on Balor. Rollins grabs a hurricanrana on McIntyre to send him outside, leaving Ziggler all alone. That means the Stomp for the pin, because this feud is continuing by way of the champ getting pinned at 12:05.
Lashley promises to win tonight because Reigns will fail again.
Opening sequence recap.
Liv Morgan vs. Ember Moon
Morgan gets aggressive to start, including kneeing Moon down as the announcers talk about the women’s roster. Moon fights up with a jawbreaker and kicks away, including all of the screaming. A faceplant stuns Morgan again and the Eclipse is good for the pin at 3:48.
Rollins gets the Intercontinental Title shot against Ziggler at Summerslam.
Elias tries it one more time but here’s Angle...to say he wants to hear a song. That’s cool with Elias, who thinks we should all go out and buy two copies of the album. But nah, no song for a town like Cincinnati.
Roman Reigns vs. Bobby Lashley
The winner gets Lesnar for the title at Summerslam. Reigns starts fast with the clothesline for an early two and they fight to the floor. The apron dropkick is countered into an overhead belly to belly suplex to put Reigns down and send us to a break. Back with Lashley nailing a spinebuster and grabbing a surfboard.
Reigns gets up and it’s a double clothesline for the double knockdown. They slug it out with Reigns getting the better of it and lifting Lashley to the apron, only to charge into a hard clothesline. Back in and Lashley counters the Superman Punch into a full nelson, followed by a headlock on the mat. Reigns fights up again and sends him shoulder first into the corner, meaning we get the multiple clotheslines.
Lashley is right back with a spinebuster but the spear is countered with….I’m not sure as it looked like it was supposed to be a leap frog but Reigns kneed/thighed him in the face instead. The Superman Punch gets two and Lashley rolls outside for a breather. Reigns slowly follows but can’t get the belly to belly. Instead Lashley throws him back inside for the spear and a rather near fall in a call back to Extreme Rules. Another Superman Punch rocks Lashley and the spear sends Reigns to Summerslam at 18:04.
Lashley and Reigns shake hands and Lashley can barely stand in the aisle. A lot of posing ends the show.
Results
B Team b. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt – Crucifix to Hardy
Sasha Banks/Bayley b. Samantha Simon/Karen Lundy – Bank Statement to Lundy
Mickie James b. Natalya – Superkick
Mojo Rawley b. Tyler Breeze – Sitout Alabama Slam
Finn Balor b. Drew McIntyre via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered
Finn Balor/Seth Rollins b. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler – Stomp to Ziggler
Ember Moon b. Liv Morgan – Eclipse
Roman Reigns b. Bobby Lashley – Spear
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: July 24, 2018
Location: Ford Center, Evansville, Indiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
It’s a big night around here as we have the announcement of who will be challenging Smackdown World Champion AJ Styles at Summerslam. There’s one name out there that would seem to be the most likely option but you never can tell around here. We’ll have more Summerslam build to get to around here as well so let’s get to it.
Miz, Maryse and their daughter arrive in a limo.
Here’s Randy Orton to open things up. After a clip of his return at Extreme Rules and attack on Jeff Hardy, Orton goes over some fan theories of why he did what he did. He did it because of the fans, because he’s been here for sixteen years. Who is around that was here when he got here? No one. Uh, not really Randy. No seriously that’s a really stupid line as you have Cena, Lesnar, Hardy, Hardy, Benjamin, Angle, HHH, Stephanie, Vince, Shane and probably some more than I’m forgetting.
Anyway Orton is tired of all these people sitting at the table he created. Orton isn’t changing his merchandise every month to steal money from the fans or stealing hand gestures (the Too Sweet sign) because he didn’t need to pay his dues in front of hundreds of people. He doesn’t take months off at a time, show up for Wrestlemania season, and then leave again. He learned from the best because he deserved the best and now he knows who the real legends killers are.
The people are the real legend killers and now he’s the real legend. He’s going to destroy everyone that the fans put on a pedestal, starting with Hardy. When Orton is done with him, Hardy is gone for good. Orton doesn’t care about Hardy’s career because it’s all about writing the final chapter. You can call him the Viper, the Apex Predator, but all that matters is RKO. Good promo, one really dumb line aside.
Long look at last night’s announcement, which I’m sure won’t be the only time tonight.
Andrade Cien Almas vs. Rusev
Well this is certainly interesting, if nothing else for the managers. The guys got in an argument in the back earlier over wanting to be AJ’s opponent at Summerslam, which makes for a rather interesting match. I do like the fact that Lana is still billed as the Ravishing Russian but has completely dropped the accent outside of when she says Rusev’s name.
Rusev goes with the power to start but Almas catches himself in the ropes for the pose with Vega. Back in and a clothesline drops Almas again, meaning it’s time for Lana to pose with Rusev as we go to a break. We come back with Rusev making a comeback off a spinning kick to the face, much to Lana’s delight. A knee to the ribs sets up the Machka Kick for two and Almas’ shot to the head has almost no effect.
Almas fakes a kick to the head and scores with an elbow but Rusev kicks him in the face to block the running knees in the corner. The jumping superkick gets a heck of a RUSEV DAY chant and it’s time for the women to brawl, which really pleases the fans. Cue Aiden English to pull Lana off but Vega jumps on his back, sending him into Lana. That’s not cool with Rusev and the distraction lets Almas score with the Hammerlock DDT for the pin at 9:04.
R-Truth isn’t happy with having to fight Samoa Joe in his first match since Wrestlemania. He asks Tye Dillinger if he remembers what Joe did to him last week but then realizes that Tye was out cold. Tye says Truth doesn’t need a pillow because he’s not going to sleep.
Post break Lana and English are arguing but Rusev cuts them both off, saying maybe neither of them are good for Rusev Day.
R-Truth vs. Samoa Joe
Joe starts fast but gets caught with a kick to the face and the spinning forearm. A headbutt and the corner Rock Bottom set up the Koquina Clutch to make Truth tap at 58 seconds.
Asuka is very excited for Evolution but tonight, Billie Kay isn’t ready for her.
Asuka vs. Billie Kay
Billie and Peyton think Evolution is iconic and they’re both better than Asuka. Asuka starts in on the arm but gets shoved down. For some reason Billie tells Asuka that she’s a loser and there’s a running dropkick. A German suplex doesn’t work so Asuka kicks her in the head for the pin at 1:47. Well at least she didn’t lose again.
Shinsuke Nakamura laughs at Jeff Hardy for losing last week.
Miz and Maryse are having their pictures taken with their daughter but have to go to another appearance.
Here’s Paige to moderate the Styles contract signing. First though, let’s talk about Evolution being all awesome. At least they keep it short. Here’s AJ, who really seems to enjoy the cheers. After he gets to talk about Evolution as well, AJ talks about how important Summerslam has been to him. It’s no different than Wrestlemania but we’ll turn the heat up a bit more.
AJ signs the contract and says he just needs an opponent. Paige asks for a drum roll and here’s….James Ellsworth. He brags about beating AJ three times before but Paige tells him to stop it because he’s a joke. James thinks Paige is a joke because of how she talks and looks so Paige fires him. Well thank goodness for that. Paige leaves with security and we follow them to the back where Ellsworth is thrown out. During the melee, Samoa Joe comes in and chokes AJ out. Joe signs and the match is on. That was the only logical choice for the opponent.
Post match Paige yells at Joe, who says that was killer instinct and phenomenal. Joe leaves and Carmella comes in, saying she’s holding the title until Evolution no matter what. Paige doesn’t seem pleased.
Carmella vs. Becky Lynch
Non-title but Becky gets a Summerslam title shot if she wins. Becky goes straight for the arm to start but Carmella hits her in the face. A trip to the floor goes badly for Becky and we take an early break. Back with Becky starting her comeback, meaning it’s time for clotheslines. There’s the Bexploder but Becky misses the top rope legdrop. Carmella kicks her in the face for two and frustration is setting in. Not that it matters as the Disarm-Her sends Becky to Summerslam at 7:10.
The Bludgeon Brothers don’t care who they face.
Tag Team #1 Contenders Tournament First Round: New Day vs. Sanity
The Usos are on commentary. Woods and Wolfe start things off with a spinning forearm giving Woods two. A German suplex drops Woods though and it’s off to Dain for the backsplash. Back from a break with Woods hitting a missile dropkick as the Usos do over the top nerdy announcer voices. Big E. comes in with a bunch of suplexes but an Eric Young distraction cuts him off. Wolfe comes back in but gets knocked down, setting up the Midnight Hour for the pin at 7:34.
Post match the Bar comes out to say they’ll win.
Miz doesn’t trust Sin Cara as a babysitter so he’ll take his daughter to the ring for the big moment.
Here are Miz, Maryse and their daughter to wrap things up. Miz says we’re here to talk about the future instead of relics like Daniel Bryan. He introduces Maryse, who claims that the evolution started with her. Miz introduces his daughter, who has accomplished more in her life than Daniel Bryan (Graves made the same joke about Saxton). The fans chant for Monroe but the mere mention of Bryan has put her to sleep.
We get a clip of the show, which is a highlight of bad moments in Miz’s life and career. Bryan pops up on screen to apologize to Miz but then realizes he should do this to Miz’s face. Here’s Bryan in the arena to beat up Miz’s security but Miz throws the baby to him, revealing it to be a doll. That means a Skull Crushing Finale and a rant from Miz about how the baby earlier was an actor. Like he’d bring his real daughter to a city like this and if you want to see Monroe Sky, watch the show.
Results
Andrade Cien Almas b. Rusev – Hammerlock DDT
Samoa Joe b. R-Truth – Koquina Clutch
Asuka b. Billie Kay – Kick to the head
Becky Lynch b. Carmella – Disarm-Her
New Day b. Sanity – Midnight Hour to Wolfe
Wednesday
NXT
Date: July 25, 2018
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness
It’s a big match night as we have a rare NXT Title defense. Aleister Black is putting the title on the line against Tommaso Ciampa, who would make a rather terrifying champion. We’re less than a month away from Takeover: Brooklyn IV and that means it’s time to start putting things together. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at the setup for Black vs. Ciampa, with both of them talking about being the devils of NXT. Ciampa says he needs one chance to win the title and his ascension will be complete.
Opening sequence.
Adam Cole vs. Sean Maluta
Non-title. Maluta goes straight for a rollup before switching to a neckbreaker to bang Cole up. That’s about it for Maluta’s offense as Cole kicks him in the ribs and superkicks him out of the air. The Last Shot puts Maluta away at 2:15. Just a squash.
Post match Cole says he’s the hottest commodity on any brand and is defending his title around the world. Tonight he gave this guy an opportunity so if anyone...and here’s Ricochet. Oh I think I could go for this. Ricochet congratulates him on not running from his competition for once, even though Cole couldn’t even remember his opponent’s name tonight. All Cole has done is become a coward but if he wants to prove otherwise, how about a title match in Brooklyn?
Cole passes and leaves so Ricochet calls him a coward again. That’s too far for Cole so he goes back to the ring but Ricochet is ready for him, sending Cole back to the floor while Ricochet flips into the superhero pose. That brings out Kyle O’Reilly and Roderick Strong but the War Raiders are right behind them. Was there any reason to not push them straight to the title picture? Actually there is, as Moustache Mountain pop up to chase the champs into the crowd. I could go for moustaches vs. beards for the title shot. Going from one Takeover match to three in about fifteen minutes is pretty nifty work.
Earlier today, William Regal (welcome back) held the contract signing for Shayna Baszler vs. Kairi Sane. Baszler didn’t want to call this a rematch because not only has she beaten Sane since the Mae Young Classic but she’s not the same person. Sane hasn’t done anything since then and things are going to change. Sane signs and says they both know she can win. Baszler sneers that off because Sane is just a fake pirate. She signs as well and seems rather annoyed at what Sane said.
We look back at Velveteen Dream walking out on EC3 during the UK show.
Tenilla Price vs. Lacey Evans
I can’t find anything about Price but she gets an entrance. Lacey throws her into the corner for the slingshot Bronco Buster but a moonsault hits knees. That’s it for Price as the Woman’s Right is good for the pin at 2:04.
Bianca Belair is injured but doesn’t need to explain anything. She’s still way ahead of everyone else and she’s un-de-feat-ed, which she says four times in less than thirty seconds.
Candice LeRae tries to go after Shayna but gets held back.
NXT Title: Tommaso Ciampa vs. Aleister Black
Ciampa is challenging and still has no music. He even breaks up Black’s pre-match poses like a real villain. They lock up hard to start with Black getting the better of a technical exchange on the mat. It’s almost weird to see Ciampa wrestling but it makes sense because his hatred is at Johnny Gargano alone. A small package gives Black two as they’re still firmly in first gear. The hanging DDT is quickly broken up and Black hits his first kick to the chest to keep Ciampa down.
More kicks have Ciampa on the floor and Black moonsaults into the seated position so he can mock Ciampa’s wave. Back in and Ciampa gets in his first real shots to put Black on the floor for a whip into the steps. Now it’s Ciampa’s turn to mock Black’s pose because what’s good for one devil is good for another. Ciampa stays on the back with a backbreaker and an abdominal stretch.
Nigel is right there to talk about how this will weaken the Black Mass because it’s based on core strength because Nigel actually knows how to analyze a match. A Texas Cloverleaf switches over to the legs but Black is in the ropes pretty quickly. Black is fine enough to escape a super White Noise and a collision gives us a double knockdown, continuing the odd theory of one move balancing out a long stretch of offense.
More kicks have Ciampa in trouble and the standing Lionsault gets two. A hard kick to the head is good for the same and some kicks to the chest (Black: “TWEET ABOUT THIS!”
rock him even more. He’s fine enough to hit a top rope DDT for two but Black is right back with kicks to the head. A big spinning kick to the head sets up a German suplex for a near fall and Ciampa bails to the floor. Black misses a moonsault though and Ciampa sends him into the cameraman.
Back in and the hanging DDT gets a VERY close two so it’s time to pull the ring mats up. The referee starts yelling so Ciampa comes back in, only to be shoved into the referee, knocking him to the floor. Black Mass connects but there’s no one to count. Ciampa goes for the eye and grabs the title but here’s Gargano to superkick him. Gargano tries to take the belt away, sending it square into Black’s head. Ciampa sends Gargano outside and a lifting sitout Pedigree (Christopher Daniels’ Angel’s Wings, a FAR better finisher than that lame neckbreaker Ciampa was using) finishes Black at 22:18.
The lack of music makes it all the more eerie and thank goodness the fans boo him out of the building instead of the YOU DESERVE IT stuff. Ciampa poses to end the show.
Results
Adam Cole b. Sean Maluta – Last Shot
Lacey Evans b. Tenilla Price – Woman’s Right
Tommaso Ciampa b. Aleister Black – Lifting sitout Pedigree
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: July 26, 2018
Location: Rebel Sports Complex, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis
Believe it or not this company is on fire at the moment and they’re coming off a red hot Slammiversary this weekend. I don’t remember the last time this company was going so strong and if they can continue at this rate, I’m curious to see where they could go from here. This is very fresh territory for them and I wonder how far they can go with this run. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Slammiversary, which almost makes me want to watch it again.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Austin Aries to open things up. Aries is proud of being on top of what is being called the greatest Impact Wrestling pay per view ever. He was in what a wrestling match should be because he beat Moose, just as promised. Aries is ready to face anyone in the world and if you think you’re the best, it doesn’t matter what company you’re from. Cue Eddie Edwards with his gifted kendo stick to hit Aries in the back, followed by a double arm DDT.
Petey Williams vs. Taiji Ishimori
Petey starts fast with some rapid fire armdrags and a dropkick to the back. There’s the O Canada stand on the crotch but Ishimori is fine enough for a springboard seated senton. A chinlock sends Williams bailing for the ropes as Ishimori can’t get much going here. Williams ducks a charge in the corner and hits a lifting Downward Spiral to drop Ishimori again.
A Tajiri handspring into a kick to the head gives Ishimori his first offense but he misses the 450. The DDT is reversed into a failed Canadian Destroyer attempt so Ishimori picks him up for a DDT but drops Williams chest first onto his knee (kind of a weird cousin of the Codebreaker) for the pin at 7:21.
We get a post match hug but here’s the Desi Hit Squad to lay them out. That’s some better fire but Gama is still more interesting than the two of them.
Anthony Carelli (Santino Marella) talks about how much he misses wrestling when Aries comes in and talks down to him. If Carelli can’t get in the ring, maybe one of his students can. This might be better if it wasn’t a former comedy guy who is suddenly supposed to be a legend of some sort.
Tessa Blanchard vs. Rebel
Tessa talks a lot of trash to start and throws Rebel throat first into the middle rope to start. The hammerlock DDT is broken up and Rebel kicks her in the chest and face. Rebel gets caught on top though and a hanging DDT brings her back down. The hammerlock DDT gives Tessa the pin at 2:35.
Here’s the debuting Scarlett Bordeaux to dance a bit as Callis is in full on Jerry Lawler mode. Scarlett says she wants to be an inspiration to little girls and be remembered as the greatest women’s activist of all time. Like Marilyn Monroe or Cardi B! She refuses to be told to cover up and will not be hot shamed.
The interviewer is confused so Scarlett tells the five to shut up because “a ten is talking”. She’s here to bring sexy back to wrestling and that’s all that matters. Given how women’s wrestling is going these days, this is certainly a different way to go but it’s going to take a rather intelligent writer to pull it off. Or it’s not a very good idea and this is going to be a disaster.
Matt Sydal is devastated over his loss because he lost his harmonious state and stopped looking with his third eye. Tonight he refocuses and gets his title back.
Video on Pentagon vs. Sami Callihan with Pentagon saying he has the ultimate prize in Sami’s hair to go with cero miedo.
Johnny Impact vs. Trevor Lee
Impact isn’t on the motorcycle he was sitting on in the back before the break. They start fast with Impact spinning around Lee and kicking him in the face but getting kneed down. Some choking in the corner sets up a backbreaker as the announcers talk about Scarlett. Impact slides under the ropes to counter a whip into the corner and comes back in with a springboard crossbody.
A corner dropkick sets up the Flying Chuck for two but, as usual, the Countdown to Impact takes WAY too long, allowing Lee to roll away. The standing double stomp (always looks cool) gets two but Impact knees him hard in the face. Starship Pain doesn’t work so Impact flip dives off the top onto Lee and Caleb Konley. Now Starship Pain is good for the pin at 8:57.
Post match Impact says it’s great to be back and now he wants to be World Champion. First though, it’s time to get his hands on Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong.
Video on Su Yung destroying everyone in her path.
Allie says she lost on Sunday but is more upset over not being there to stop Madison Rayne from being stuffed in a casket. She’s not letting that happen again and Kiera Hogan comes in to say she’s in too.
Classic match: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Young Bucks from No Surrender 2010. Appropriate given Shelley retiring this week.
Joe Hendry gives Grado a shirt when Eli Drake comes in with a gift for the two of them and Katarina. It’s a picture of Hendry and Katarina (standing next to each other) with no Grado. That’s not cool but they brush it off, even though Grado isn’t happy.
Fallah Bahh and KM need to find Bahh’s mean streak. They put some sunglasses on him as KM steals some stuff from other people.
Killer Kross is an evil man who wants to make people suffer.
King isn’t happy with what happened on Sunday because Konnan is still around. It’s all Konnan’s fault and there will be more violence.
Callihan yells in the mirror about messing everything up. The Crist Brothers try to calm him down and tell him that everything is fine because he looks like Jason Vorhees. He thinks someone laughs at him and shaves their head in a fit of rage.
The announcers talk about Sami being nuts.
X-Division Title: Brian Cage vs. Matt Sydal
Cage is defending in a rematch from Sunday. Sydal tries the speed to start and gets two off a small package. That’s not cool with Cage who takes it to the floor and powerbombs Sydal against the post as we take a break. Back with Sydal hitting a Meteora on the ramp as Cage is holding his knee. Sydal’s Muta Lock is broken up with one hand so he goes with a more standard leglock, followed by a running knee in the corner.
Cage’s knee is fine enough to hit a hurricanrana and a pumphandle Samoan drop for two. A powerslam is blocked though and Sydal hits a reverse log roll for his own near fall. Sydal kicks at the knee but Cage throws him with a German suplex. The 619 gives Cage two but the Drill Claw is countered into a hurricanrana for an even nearer two. An F5 sets up the Drill Claw to retain the title at 11:30.
Results
Taiji Ishimori b. Petey Williams – Lifting knee to the chest
Tessa Blanchard b. Rebel – Hammerlock DDT
Johnny Impact b. Trevor Lee – Starship Pain
Brian Cage b. Matt Sydal – Drill Claw
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nikolai Volkoff has passed away at 70.
Brian Christopher has passed away at 46.
Brickhouse Brown has passed away at 57.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
B Team b. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt – Crucifix to Hardy
Sasha Banks/Bayley b. Samantha Simon/Karen Lundy – Bank Statement to Lundy
Mickie James b. Natalya – Superkick
Mojo Rawley b. Tyler Breeze – Sitout Alabama Slam
Finn Balor b. Drew McIntyre via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered
Finn Balor/Seth Rollins b. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler – Stomp to Ziggler
Ember Moon b. Liv Morgan – Eclipse
Roman Reigns b. Bobby Lashley – Spear
Smackdown
Andrade Cien Almas b. Rusev – Hammerlock DDT
Samoa Joe b. R-Truth – Koquina Clutch
Asuka b. Billie Kay – Kick to the head
Becky Lynch b. Carmella – Disarm-Her
New Day b. Sanity – Midnight Hour to Wolfe
NXT
Adam Cole b. Sean Maluta – Last Shot
Lacey Evans b. Tenilla Price – Woman’s Right
Tommaso Ciampa b. Aleister Black – Lifting sitout Pedigree
Impact Wrestling
Taiji Ishimori b. Petey Williams – Lifting knee to the chest
Tessa Blanchard b. Rebel – Hammerlock DDT
Johnny Impact b. Trevor Lee – Starship Pain
Brian Cage b. Matt Sydal – Drill Claw
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 23, 2018
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman
It’s a big night around here and you know that because the official preview for the show is a big picture of Stephanie McMahon. She has some kind of a major announcement tonight and since she’s Stephanie, that’s put above the #1 contenders match and tonight’s title match. That’s the level of priorities around here so let’s get to it.
The roster (including Nikki Cross) is on the stage and Vince McMahon is in the ring to introduce HHH and Stephanie McMahon for the big announcement. HHH thanks all of the wrestlers across all brands, including NXT. There has never been a stronger bond than the one we have right now and that includes the women’s division.
HHH asks them to come forward so the women’s division (including the Smackdown women’s division) steps to the front. HHH talks about everything the women have done in recent years, including all those main events. Stephanie recaps the Give Divas A Chance and announces the first ever all women’s pay per view, called Evolution.
Cole gives us some more details: the Raw, Smackdown and NXT Women’s Titles will be defended, plus the finals of the Mae Young Classic will take place and the event is October 28 in the Nassau Coliseum.
It’s a cool announcement, but this is WWE’s version of history. Yeah it sucked when WWE was giving the women thirty second matches, but who ok’d those matches? That would be the people in the ring making the big announcement and treating it like the most amazing thing in the world. Throw in there being no real reason for Stephanie to be in there other than she was suddenly part of the whole thing and this wasn’t quite as perfect as WWE would like you to believe it is. Oh and can we get a Sara Amato shout out? I’m certain she’s earned one.
The B Team is thrilled with everything they’ve done in the last few weeks and wouldn’t want this to be with anyone else. They’re ready to defend their titles….which they forget in the locker room.
Elias is in the ring for his song but gets cut off by the first match.
Tag Team Titles: Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt vs. B Team
The B Team is defending. Bray and Dallas start things off for the family reunion and Wyatt runs him over with little effort. The champs throw Wyatt down but he spiders up to send them outside. Back from a break with Bray fighting out of a chinlock as the Revival watches on. Again. Do something with that already. The hard clothesline sets up the hot tag to Hardy for some clotheslines of his own. The Side Effect gets two and the Twist of Fate gets the same with Axel making the save. Dallas shoves Wyatt into Matt, knocking him into a crucifix to give Axel the retaining pin at 8:17. Axel is rather confused.
Post match Matt says that was wonderful and then beats the B Team down with Wyatt joining in. So yes, it is continuing.
Finn Balor and Chad Gable are in the back, casually talking about Evolution when a production worker comes up, carrying Balor’s gear. Apparently it’s being put in a new dressing room. That would be a doll house, as ordered by Baron Corbin. Baron pops up to make a bunch of jokes about Balor being short. IT’S STILL NOT FREAKING FUNNY!
We recap the Bayley and Sasha Banks story from last week.
Bayley and Sasha say they’re ready to be on the same team (write your own jokes) and they’re very excited about the pay per view. Bayley was glad to hear what Sasha said last week and that’s about it. I’m going to assume more is coming from this later.
There will be legends and past superstars on Evolution. Makes sense given the name, but I’m not sure how necessary they are. There could be some very interesting dream matches in there though.
Sasha Banks/Bayley vs. Samantha Simon/Karen Lundy
Banks knees Simon in the corner to start and cranks on the arm before Bayley comes in for a toss into the corner. A kick to the face sets up the Bank Statement to make Lundy tap at 1:22.
Post match Sasha hugs Bayley...and that’s it.
Here’s Elias again but this time it’s Braun Strowman interrupting. After congratulating the women on getting her own pay per view, it’s time to talk about Bobby Lashley vs. Roman Reigns in the #1 contendership match later tonight. It doesn’t matter who wins because he’ll be cashing in soon. Cue Kevin Owens to talk about Strowman ruining his kids’ dreams because Strowman has shown that Owens is breakable. Now it’s time for Owens to take everything away from him so Strowman says come try it.
This brings out Baron Corbin to say Stephanie has empowered him to handle this. Strowman needs help controlling his temper so here’s Jinder Mahal. We get some breathing exercises but Strowman says this isn’t working. He has Sunil Singh hold up a microphone because it’s time for Strowman’s breathing exercise. Everyone needs to close their eyes and chant with him: GET THESE HANDS! The beatdown doesn’t take long.
We recap the opening announcement.
A bunch of women have tweeted about Evolution.
We look back at Ronda Rousey coming back last week to attack Mickie James and Alexa Bliss. This earned her a Women’s Title match at Summerslam.
Mickie James vs. Natalya
Natalya elbows her down to start but Alexa Bliss offers a distraction so Mickie can take over. A front facelock and chinlock keep Natalya down but she fights up with an electric chair. Another Bliss distraction draws Natalya to the floor though and Mickie hits a superkick for the pin at 3:46.
Video on WWE winning the Sports Humanitarian Award.
Reigns is going to win tonight and doesn’t care if he’s crammed down our throats because nothing is changing. He’s taking Lesnar’s title at Summerslam.
Elias tries again but this time it’s the Authors of Pain interrupting. They want competition other than Titus Worldwide. Cue Titus Worldwide to say the Authors have a lot to learn about WWE. Rezar: “To do what? How to trip and fall all over ourselves?” Apollo talks about how great Titus has been to him and wants the Authors to show Titus some respect. If they had Titus’ qualities, they would be champions as well as championship quality people. Akam thinks Titus should retire so the fight is on and the Authors are cleared out.
Angle and Stephanie talk about the pay per view some more when Corbin and Owens come in. Stephanie is proud of Owens and asks how he’s doing. Owens is ok and says he wants to face Strowman for the briefcase at Summerslam. Angle says no but Stephanie makes the match. I’m all for the idea of the briefcase being defended.
Tyler Breeze vs. Mojo Rawley
Mojo wastes no time in running Breeze over as we go to an inset interview with Bobby Roode. He’s not happy with what Mojo has said on social media and wants Rawley to stop hiding behind a keyboard. Breeze’s comeback gets him driven into the corner and the sitout Alabama Slam gives Rawley the pin at 2:18.
Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre say their plan is clearly working because Ziggler is Intercontinental Champion and McIntyre doesn’t lose. Tonight he’ll take out Finn Balor.
Elias. Balor this time.
Finn Balor vs. Drew McIntyre
Balor slugs away at the much bigger McIntyre and a dropkick puts him on the floor. The big flip dive puts McIntyre down again and we take a break. Back with Drew putting on an armbar with a chinlock. Balor fights up and scores with a DDT but it’s too early for the Coup de Grace. Instead he DDTs McIntyre down, drawing in Ziggler for the DQ at 7:11.
The beatdown is on until Seth Rollins makes the save. Angle comes out and the tag match is on.
Finn Balor/Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler
The good guys clean house and we take an early break. Back with Ziggler still in trouble until a dropkick is enough to bring in McIntyre. It’s Balor’s turn to take a beating with Drew slowly pounding him down without much effort. A missed charge allows the hot tag to Rollins though and the pace picks right back up.
The Blockbuster gets two on McIntyre Balor hits the Sling Blade on Ziggler and McIntyre’s reverse Alabama Slam is good for the same on Balor. Rollins grabs a hurricanrana on McIntyre to send him outside, leaving Ziggler all alone. That means the Stomp for the pin, because this feud is continuing by way of the champ getting pinned at 12:05.
Lashley promises to win tonight because Reigns will fail again.
Opening sequence recap.
Liv Morgan vs. Ember Moon
Morgan gets aggressive to start, including kneeing Moon down as the announcers talk about the women’s roster. Moon fights up with a jawbreaker and kicks away, including all of the screaming. A faceplant stuns Morgan again and the Eclipse is good for the pin at 3:48.
Rollins gets the Intercontinental Title shot against Ziggler at Summerslam.
Elias tries it one more time but here’s Angle...to say he wants to hear a song. That’s cool with Elias, who thinks we should all go out and buy two copies of the album. But nah, no song for a town like Cincinnati.
Roman Reigns vs. Bobby Lashley
The winner gets Lesnar for the title at Summerslam. Reigns starts fast with the clothesline for an early two and they fight to the floor. The apron dropkick is countered into an overhead belly to belly suplex to put Reigns down and send us to a break. Back with Lashley nailing a spinebuster and grabbing a surfboard.
Reigns gets up and it’s a double clothesline for the double knockdown. They slug it out with Reigns getting the better of it and lifting Lashley to the apron, only to charge into a hard clothesline. Back in and Lashley counters the Superman Punch into a full nelson, followed by a headlock on the mat. Reigns fights up again and sends him shoulder first into the corner, meaning we get the multiple clotheslines.
Lashley is right back with a spinebuster but the spear is countered with….I’m not sure as it looked like it was supposed to be a leap frog but Reigns kneed/thighed him in the face instead. The Superman Punch gets two and Lashley rolls outside for a breather. Reigns slowly follows but can’t get the belly to belly. Instead Lashley throws him back inside for the spear and a rather near fall in a call back to Extreme Rules. Another Superman Punch rocks Lashley and the spear sends Reigns to Summerslam at 18:04.
Lashley and Reigns shake hands and Lashley can barely stand in the aisle. A lot of posing ends the show.
Results
B Team b. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt – Crucifix to Hardy
Sasha Banks/Bayley b. Samantha Simon/Karen Lundy – Bank Statement to Lundy
Mickie James b. Natalya – Superkick
Mojo Rawley b. Tyler Breeze – Sitout Alabama Slam
Finn Balor b. Drew McIntyre via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered
Finn Balor/Seth Rollins b. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler – Stomp to Ziggler
Ember Moon b. Liv Morgan – Eclipse
Roman Reigns b. Bobby Lashley – Spear
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: July 24, 2018
Location: Ford Center, Evansville, Indiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
It’s a big night around here as we have the announcement of who will be challenging Smackdown World Champion AJ Styles at Summerslam. There’s one name out there that would seem to be the most likely option but you never can tell around here. We’ll have more Summerslam build to get to around here as well so let’s get to it.
Miz, Maryse and their daughter arrive in a limo.
Here’s Randy Orton to open things up. After a clip of his return at Extreme Rules and attack on Jeff Hardy, Orton goes over some fan theories of why he did what he did. He did it because of the fans, because he’s been here for sixteen years. Who is around that was here when he got here? No one. Uh, not really Randy. No seriously that’s a really stupid line as you have Cena, Lesnar, Hardy, Hardy, Benjamin, Angle, HHH, Stephanie, Vince, Shane and probably some more than I’m forgetting.
Anyway Orton is tired of all these people sitting at the table he created. Orton isn’t changing his merchandise every month to steal money from the fans or stealing hand gestures (the Too Sweet sign) because he didn’t need to pay his dues in front of hundreds of people. He doesn’t take months off at a time, show up for Wrestlemania season, and then leave again. He learned from the best because he deserved the best and now he knows who the real legends killers are.
The people are the real legend killers and now he’s the real legend. He’s going to destroy everyone that the fans put on a pedestal, starting with Hardy. When Orton is done with him, Hardy is gone for good. Orton doesn’t care about Hardy’s career because it’s all about writing the final chapter. You can call him the Viper, the Apex Predator, but all that matters is RKO. Good promo, one really dumb line aside.
Long look at last night’s announcement, which I’m sure won’t be the only time tonight.
Andrade Cien Almas vs. Rusev
Well this is certainly interesting, if nothing else for the managers. The guys got in an argument in the back earlier over wanting to be AJ’s opponent at Summerslam, which makes for a rather interesting match. I do like the fact that Lana is still billed as the Ravishing Russian but has completely dropped the accent outside of when she says Rusev’s name.
Rusev goes with the power to start but Almas catches himself in the ropes for the pose with Vega. Back in and a clothesline drops Almas again, meaning it’s time for Lana to pose with Rusev as we go to a break. We come back with Rusev making a comeback off a spinning kick to the face, much to Lana’s delight. A knee to the ribs sets up the Machka Kick for two and Almas’ shot to the head has almost no effect.
Almas fakes a kick to the head and scores with an elbow but Rusev kicks him in the face to block the running knees in the corner. The jumping superkick gets a heck of a RUSEV DAY chant and it’s time for the women to brawl, which really pleases the fans. Cue Aiden English to pull Lana off but Vega jumps on his back, sending him into Lana. That’s not cool with Rusev and the distraction lets Almas score with the Hammerlock DDT for the pin at 9:04.
R-Truth isn’t happy with having to fight Samoa Joe in his first match since Wrestlemania. He asks Tye Dillinger if he remembers what Joe did to him last week but then realizes that Tye was out cold. Tye says Truth doesn’t need a pillow because he’s not going to sleep.
Post break Lana and English are arguing but Rusev cuts them both off, saying maybe neither of them are good for Rusev Day.
R-Truth vs. Samoa Joe
Joe starts fast but gets caught with a kick to the face and the spinning forearm. A headbutt and the corner Rock Bottom set up the Koquina Clutch to make Truth tap at 58 seconds.
Asuka is very excited for Evolution but tonight, Billie Kay isn’t ready for her.
Asuka vs. Billie Kay
Billie and Peyton think Evolution is iconic and they’re both better than Asuka. Asuka starts in on the arm but gets shoved down. For some reason Billie tells Asuka that she’s a loser and there’s a running dropkick. A German suplex doesn’t work so Asuka kicks her in the head for the pin at 1:47. Well at least she didn’t lose again.
Shinsuke Nakamura laughs at Jeff Hardy for losing last week.
Miz and Maryse are having their pictures taken with their daughter but have to go to another appearance.
Here’s Paige to moderate the Styles contract signing. First though, let’s talk about Evolution being all awesome. At least they keep it short. Here’s AJ, who really seems to enjoy the cheers. After he gets to talk about Evolution as well, AJ talks about how important Summerslam has been to him. It’s no different than Wrestlemania but we’ll turn the heat up a bit more.
AJ signs the contract and says he just needs an opponent. Paige asks for a drum roll and here’s….James Ellsworth. He brags about beating AJ three times before but Paige tells him to stop it because he’s a joke. James thinks Paige is a joke because of how she talks and looks so Paige fires him. Well thank goodness for that. Paige leaves with security and we follow them to the back where Ellsworth is thrown out. During the melee, Samoa Joe comes in and chokes AJ out. Joe signs and the match is on. That was the only logical choice for the opponent.
Post match Paige yells at Joe, who says that was killer instinct and phenomenal. Joe leaves and Carmella comes in, saying she’s holding the title until Evolution no matter what. Paige doesn’t seem pleased.
Carmella vs. Becky Lynch
Non-title but Becky gets a Summerslam title shot if she wins. Becky goes straight for the arm to start but Carmella hits her in the face. A trip to the floor goes badly for Becky and we take an early break. Back with Becky starting her comeback, meaning it’s time for clotheslines. There’s the Bexploder but Becky misses the top rope legdrop. Carmella kicks her in the face for two and frustration is setting in. Not that it matters as the Disarm-Her sends Becky to Summerslam at 7:10.
The Bludgeon Brothers don’t care who they face.
Tag Team #1 Contenders Tournament First Round: New Day vs. Sanity
The Usos are on commentary. Woods and Wolfe start things off with a spinning forearm giving Woods two. A German suplex drops Woods though and it’s off to Dain for the backsplash. Back from a break with Woods hitting a missile dropkick as the Usos do over the top nerdy announcer voices. Big E. comes in with a bunch of suplexes but an Eric Young distraction cuts him off. Wolfe comes back in but gets knocked down, setting up the Midnight Hour for the pin at 7:34.
Post match the Bar comes out to say they’ll win.
Miz doesn’t trust Sin Cara as a babysitter so he’ll take his daughter to the ring for the big moment.
Here are Miz, Maryse and their daughter to wrap things up. Miz says we’re here to talk about the future instead of relics like Daniel Bryan. He introduces Maryse, who claims that the evolution started with her. Miz introduces his daughter, who has accomplished more in her life than Daniel Bryan (Graves made the same joke about Saxton). The fans chant for Monroe but the mere mention of Bryan has put her to sleep.
We get a clip of the show, which is a highlight of bad moments in Miz’s life and career. Bryan pops up on screen to apologize to Miz but then realizes he should do this to Miz’s face. Here’s Bryan in the arena to beat up Miz’s security but Miz throws the baby to him, revealing it to be a doll. That means a Skull Crushing Finale and a rant from Miz about how the baby earlier was an actor. Like he’d bring his real daughter to a city like this and if you want to see Monroe Sky, watch the show.
Results
Andrade Cien Almas b. Rusev – Hammerlock DDT
Samoa Joe b. R-Truth – Koquina Clutch
Asuka b. Billie Kay – Kick to the head
Becky Lynch b. Carmella – Disarm-Her
New Day b. Sanity – Midnight Hour to Wolfe
Wednesday
NXT
Date: July 25, 2018
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness
It’s a big match night as we have a rare NXT Title defense. Aleister Black is putting the title on the line against Tommaso Ciampa, who would make a rather terrifying champion. We’re less than a month away from Takeover: Brooklyn IV and that means it’s time to start putting things together. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at the setup for Black vs. Ciampa, with both of them talking about being the devils of NXT. Ciampa says he needs one chance to win the title and his ascension will be complete.
Opening sequence.
Adam Cole vs. Sean Maluta
Non-title. Maluta goes straight for a rollup before switching to a neckbreaker to bang Cole up. That’s about it for Maluta’s offense as Cole kicks him in the ribs and superkicks him out of the air. The Last Shot puts Maluta away at 2:15. Just a squash.
Post match Cole says he’s the hottest commodity on any brand and is defending his title around the world. Tonight he gave this guy an opportunity so if anyone...and here’s Ricochet. Oh I think I could go for this. Ricochet congratulates him on not running from his competition for once, even though Cole couldn’t even remember his opponent’s name tonight. All Cole has done is become a coward but if he wants to prove otherwise, how about a title match in Brooklyn?
Cole passes and leaves so Ricochet calls him a coward again. That’s too far for Cole so he goes back to the ring but Ricochet is ready for him, sending Cole back to the floor while Ricochet flips into the superhero pose. That brings out Kyle O’Reilly and Roderick Strong but the War Raiders are right behind them. Was there any reason to not push them straight to the title picture? Actually there is, as Moustache Mountain pop up to chase the champs into the crowd. I could go for moustaches vs. beards for the title shot. Going from one Takeover match to three in about fifteen minutes is pretty nifty work.
Earlier today, William Regal (welcome back) held the contract signing for Shayna Baszler vs. Kairi Sane. Baszler didn’t want to call this a rematch because not only has she beaten Sane since the Mae Young Classic but she’s not the same person. Sane hasn’t done anything since then and things are going to change. Sane signs and says they both know she can win. Baszler sneers that off because Sane is just a fake pirate. She signs as well and seems rather annoyed at what Sane said.
We look back at Velveteen Dream walking out on EC3 during the UK show.
Tenilla Price vs. Lacey Evans
I can’t find anything about Price but she gets an entrance. Lacey throws her into the corner for the slingshot Bronco Buster but a moonsault hits knees. That’s it for Price as the Woman’s Right is good for the pin at 2:04.
Bianca Belair is injured but doesn’t need to explain anything. She’s still way ahead of everyone else and she’s un-de-feat-ed, which she says four times in less than thirty seconds.
Candice LeRae tries to go after Shayna but gets held back.
NXT Title: Tommaso Ciampa vs. Aleister Black
Ciampa is challenging and still has no music. He even breaks up Black’s pre-match poses like a real villain. They lock up hard to start with Black getting the better of a technical exchange on the mat. It’s almost weird to see Ciampa wrestling but it makes sense because his hatred is at Johnny Gargano alone. A small package gives Black two as they’re still firmly in first gear. The hanging DDT is quickly broken up and Black hits his first kick to the chest to keep Ciampa down.
More kicks have Ciampa on the floor and Black moonsaults into the seated position so he can mock Ciampa’s wave. Back in and Ciampa gets in his first real shots to put Black on the floor for a whip into the steps. Now it’s Ciampa’s turn to mock Black’s pose because what’s good for one devil is good for another. Ciampa stays on the back with a backbreaker and an abdominal stretch.
Nigel is right there to talk about how this will weaken the Black Mass because it’s based on core strength because Nigel actually knows how to analyze a match. A Texas Cloverleaf switches over to the legs but Black is in the ropes pretty quickly. Black is fine enough to escape a super White Noise and a collision gives us a double knockdown, continuing the odd theory of one move balancing out a long stretch of offense.
More kicks have Ciampa in trouble and the standing Lionsault gets two. A hard kick to the head is good for the same and some kicks to the chest (Black: “TWEET ABOUT THIS!”
rock him even more. He’s fine enough to hit a top rope DDT for two but Black is right back with kicks to the head. A big spinning kick to the head sets up a German suplex for a near fall and Ciampa bails to the floor. Black misses a moonsault though and Ciampa sends him into the cameraman.Back in and the hanging DDT gets a VERY close two so it’s time to pull the ring mats up. The referee starts yelling so Ciampa comes back in, only to be shoved into the referee, knocking him to the floor. Black Mass connects but there’s no one to count. Ciampa goes for the eye and grabs the title but here’s Gargano to superkick him. Gargano tries to take the belt away, sending it square into Black’s head. Ciampa sends Gargano outside and a lifting sitout Pedigree (Christopher Daniels’ Angel’s Wings, a FAR better finisher than that lame neckbreaker Ciampa was using) finishes Black at 22:18.
The lack of music makes it all the more eerie and thank goodness the fans boo him out of the building instead of the YOU DESERVE IT stuff. Ciampa poses to end the show.
Results
Adam Cole b. Sean Maluta – Last Shot
Lacey Evans b. Tenilla Price – Woman’s Right
Tommaso Ciampa b. Aleister Black – Lifting sitout Pedigree
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: July 26, 2018
Location: Rebel Sports Complex, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis
Believe it or not this company is on fire at the moment and they’re coming off a red hot Slammiversary this weekend. I don’t remember the last time this company was going so strong and if they can continue at this rate, I’m curious to see where they could go from here. This is very fresh territory for them and I wonder how far they can go with this run. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Slammiversary, which almost makes me want to watch it again.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Austin Aries to open things up. Aries is proud of being on top of what is being called the greatest Impact Wrestling pay per view ever. He was in what a wrestling match should be because he beat Moose, just as promised. Aries is ready to face anyone in the world and if you think you’re the best, it doesn’t matter what company you’re from. Cue Eddie Edwards with his gifted kendo stick to hit Aries in the back, followed by a double arm DDT.
Petey Williams vs. Taiji Ishimori
Petey starts fast with some rapid fire armdrags and a dropkick to the back. There’s the O Canada stand on the crotch but Ishimori is fine enough for a springboard seated senton. A chinlock sends Williams bailing for the ropes as Ishimori can’t get much going here. Williams ducks a charge in the corner and hits a lifting Downward Spiral to drop Ishimori again.
A Tajiri handspring into a kick to the head gives Ishimori his first offense but he misses the 450. The DDT is reversed into a failed Canadian Destroyer attempt so Ishimori picks him up for a DDT but drops Williams chest first onto his knee (kind of a weird cousin of the Codebreaker) for the pin at 7:21.
We get a post match hug but here’s the Desi Hit Squad to lay them out. That’s some better fire but Gama is still more interesting than the two of them.
Anthony Carelli (Santino Marella) talks about how much he misses wrestling when Aries comes in and talks down to him. If Carelli can’t get in the ring, maybe one of his students can. This might be better if it wasn’t a former comedy guy who is suddenly supposed to be a legend of some sort.
Tessa Blanchard vs. Rebel
Tessa talks a lot of trash to start and throws Rebel throat first into the middle rope to start. The hammerlock DDT is broken up and Rebel kicks her in the chest and face. Rebel gets caught on top though and a hanging DDT brings her back down. The hammerlock DDT gives Tessa the pin at 2:35.
Here’s the debuting Scarlett Bordeaux to dance a bit as Callis is in full on Jerry Lawler mode. Scarlett says she wants to be an inspiration to little girls and be remembered as the greatest women’s activist of all time. Like Marilyn Monroe or Cardi B! She refuses to be told to cover up and will not be hot shamed.
The interviewer is confused so Scarlett tells the five to shut up because “a ten is talking”. She’s here to bring sexy back to wrestling and that’s all that matters. Given how women’s wrestling is going these days, this is certainly a different way to go but it’s going to take a rather intelligent writer to pull it off. Or it’s not a very good idea and this is going to be a disaster.
Matt Sydal is devastated over his loss because he lost his harmonious state and stopped looking with his third eye. Tonight he refocuses and gets his title back.
Video on Pentagon vs. Sami Callihan with Pentagon saying he has the ultimate prize in Sami’s hair to go with cero miedo.
Johnny Impact vs. Trevor Lee
Impact isn’t on the motorcycle he was sitting on in the back before the break. They start fast with Impact spinning around Lee and kicking him in the face but getting kneed down. Some choking in the corner sets up a backbreaker as the announcers talk about Scarlett. Impact slides under the ropes to counter a whip into the corner and comes back in with a springboard crossbody.
A corner dropkick sets up the Flying Chuck for two but, as usual, the Countdown to Impact takes WAY too long, allowing Lee to roll away. The standing double stomp (always looks cool) gets two but Impact knees him hard in the face. Starship Pain doesn’t work so Impact flip dives off the top onto Lee and Caleb Konley. Now Starship Pain is good for the pin at 8:57.
Post match Impact says it’s great to be back and now he wants to be World Champion. First though, it’s time to get his hands on Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong.
Video on Su Yung destroying everyone in her path.
Allie says she lost on Sunday but is more upset over not being there to stop Madison Rayne from being stuffed in a casket. She’s not letting that happen again and Kiera Hogan comes in to say she’s in too.
Classic match: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Young Bucks from No Surrender 2010. Appropriate given Shelley retiring this week.
Joe Hendry gives Grado a shirt when Eli Drake comes in with a gift for the two of them and Katarina. It’s a picture of Hendry and Katarina (standing next to each other) with no Grado. That’s not cool but they brush it off, even though Grado isn’t happy.
Fallah Bahh and KM need to find Bahh’s mean streak. They put some sunglasses on him as KM steals some stuff from other people.
Killer Kross is an evil man who wants to make people suffer.
King isn’t happy with what happened on Sunday because Konnan is still around. It’s all Konnan’s fault and there will be more violence.
Callihan yells in the mirror about messing everything up. The Crist Brothers try to calm him down and tell him that everything is fine because he looks like Jason Vorhees. He thinks someone laughs at him and shaves their head in a fit of rage.
The announcers talk about Sami being nuts.
X-Division Title: Brian Cage vs. Matt Sydal
Cage is defending in a rematch from Sunday. Sydal tries the speed to start and gets two off a small package. That’s not cool with Cage who takes it to the floor and powerbombs Sydal against the post as we take a break. Back with Sydal hitting a Meteora on the ramp as Cage is holding his knee. Sydal’s Muta Lock is broken up with one hand so he goes with a more standard leglock, followed by a running knee in the corner.
Cage’s knee is fine enough to hit a hurricanrana and a pumphandle Samoan drop for two. A powerslam is blocked though and Sydal hits a reverse log roll for his own near fall. Sydal kicks at the knee but Cage throws him with a German suplex. The 619 gives Cage two but the Drill Claw is countered into a hurricanrana for an even nearer two. An F5 sets up the Drill Claw to retain the title at 11:30.
Results
Taiji Ishimori b. Petey Williams – Lifting knee to the chest
Tessa Blanchard b. Rebel – Hammerlock DDT
Johnny Impact b. Trevor Lee – Starship Pain
Brian Cage b. Matt Sydal – Drill Claw
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nikolai Volkoff has passed away at 70.
Brian Christopher has passed away at 46.
Brickhouse Brown has passed away at 57.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
B Team b. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt – Crucifix to Hardy
Sasha Banks/Bayley b. Samantha Simon/Karen Lundy – Bank Statement to Lundy
Mickie James b. Natalya – Superkick
Mojo Rawley b. Tyler Breeze – Sitout Alabama Slam
Finn Balor b. Drew McIntyre via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered
Finn Balor/Seth Rollins b. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler – Stomp to Ziggler
Ember Moon b. Liv Morgan – Eclipse
Roman Reigns b. Bobby Lashley – Spear
Smackdown
Andrade Cien Almas b. Rusev – Hammerlock DDT
Samoa Joe b. R-Truth – Koquina Clutch
Asuka b. Billie Kay – Kick to the head
Becky Lynch b. Carmella – Disarm-Her
New Day b. Sanity – Midnight Hour to Wolfe
NXT
Adam Cole b. Sean Maluta – Last Shot
Lacey Evans b. Tenilla Price – Woman’s Right
Tommaso Ciampa b. Aleister Black – Lifting sitout Pedigree
Impact Wrestling
Taiji Ishimori b. Petey Williams – Lifting knee to the chest
Tessa Blanchard b. Rebel – Hammerlock DDT
Johnny Impact b. Trevor Lee – Starship Pain
Brian Cage b. Matt Sydal – Drill Claw