klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Friday
Impact got a 1.19, up slightly from last week.
Smackdown
Date: July 15, 2011
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
Its the final show before Money in the Bank and everything is pretty much set in stone at this point. The MITB match itself is a pretty open field but Id look for Sheamus, Barrett or Rhodes to win it (what a limb Im going out on with those picks). Probably just some last minute pushes for the show here as expected. Lets get to it.
Do you know your enemy? Mine is a bad internet connection.
Orton vs. Kane tonight.
DiBiase gets a shot at Jackson too.
Josh is in the ring and brings out the dude that hears voices in his head. Orton says he wont get disqualified and that he thinks this is a cheap attempt by Christian to try to steal the title. Christian pops up on screen and says that clause was his lawyers idea. He has a gift for Orton which is a portrait of Christian standing over Orton with the title. Orton says that isnt going to work to make him mad.
Christian starts talking about Ortons family, namely Bob Orton Jr., who was only a glorified sidekick. His dad is in the Hall of Fame in the wing with guys like Drew Carey and the other cheap jokes. Hes in the HOF to keep Randy happy. Orton says come say that to his face, which Christian says hell do once he wins the title on Sunday. He calls Orton pathetic and Orton calls Christian a pathetic excuse for a man and a superstar. After Sunday, Christian will be exposed as a flash in the pan that needed Edge to help him win the title for five days. Simple segment but the emotion was there.
Video on Show vs. Henry which I think is the same one from Raw. They face off tonight. Not a match, just a face off.
Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Ted DiBiase
New ring announcer tonight who looks a bit better in a blue dress than Chimmel does. DiBiase hits Jackson and that doesnt go well for him. Out to the floor as Booker rambles about his Fave Five as is his custom. Jackson is rammed into the post which gets two in the ring. Cody is watching and the referee, the former Nunzio, is really loud here.
DiBiase takes over and throws on a chinlock. The following clothesline is countered by Jackson. How has no one else ever countered that? Apparently Ted has blown all of his money and its implied that it was on Maryse. Here come the slams but DiBiase counters into a Dream Street attempt but Jackson shrugs it off and slams Ted again. Rack doesnt work but the second attempt does with the submission coming at 3:45.
Most of the MITB people are in matches later.
Ted is in the back and Cody says hell bag him if Ted loses again.
Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes
We get a quick recap video of this feud during the introductions. Its almost shot like its from the mind of a crazy person so it looks really cool. Ok make that a long one. Bryan hammers him into the corner to start us off and he escapes an Alabama Slam attempt. LeBell Lock doesnt work and Cole puts a bag on and imitates Booker. Ok that was kind of funny.
Rhodes takes over for a bit but Bryan sends him to the floor and takes over with a dive. We take a break and come back in the ring with Cody in control. Cody throws on a half crab which doesnt last long. Like you can put a submission on Bryan. Cody works over the ribs as the fans keep coming in and out of this one. Booker gets asked about being in a MITB match and somehow he starts talking about Daniel Bryan. Apparently its too brutal to talk about. I give up.
Anyway its back to the half crab as the announcers totally ignore the match other than Josh when he can get a word in edgewise. Bryan fires back with some forearms and a leg lariat/running kick for two. Some light Cody chants start up. Not were talking about Booker being a drum major. Alabama Slam gets two and the commentary is really starting to get old. Talk about MITB or ANYTHING of importance, but drop the bickering.
Cody tries Cross Rhodes but Bryan climbs the ropes to get behind Cody. Bryan gets put on the top but kicks Cody away and manages to grab the LeBell Lock while on the ropes. That gets broken up of course so Bryan settles for the missile dropkick for a long two. Running dropkick in the corner puts Cody down again. They both go up and Bryan gets crotched badly. That positioning allows the Beautiful Disaster to end this at 7:29 shown of 10:59.
Teddy is on the phone talking about getting protection or something. A referee comes in and Teddy tells him that if theres any physicality in the Big Show/Mark Henry showdown, their PPV match is off. The referee leaves and Teddy talks about gambling a lot. This seems to be a running theme with him. Kane comes in to thank Teddy for giving him a match with Orton as he requested. Kane isnt happy because hes starting to feel human instead of like a monster. Teddy says if it makes him feel any better, hes scaring Teddy right now. Kane says if Teddy was really scared, Teddy wouldnt be able to tell him.
Jinder and Khali are in a photo shoot and Jinder isnt happy with the photographer paying attention to Khali. They both yell at him and thats about it.
Christian is looking at Ortons bus and theres spray paint on the side talking about Christian being the uncrowned champion. He says hell find out who did this.
Sheamus vs. Sin Cara
This should be interesting. Wade Barrett is on commentary here. The match starts after a break. Cara takes over to start with his high flying stuff. Barrett admits that the Corre was a disaster. Sheamus cant get anything going as Cara gets an armdrag out of the corner. And lets talk about the Fave Five because its been a full 4 minutes since we did. Apparently Booker sees some of himself in Sheamus. Uh .ok?
We talk about the drum major stuff as its kind of interesting to see how long they can go without actually talking about the match. Barrett is talking about how hes going to win as Sheamus gets a running knee lift while Cara is draped in the ropes. Off to a cravate as were probably two minutes without talking about the match now. Now lets look at Booker and Barrett talking because the match isnt important I guess.
Josh finally mentions Cara being grounded here, which apparently has NEVER happened to him before. Honestly, is there something in the water in the announcers water cooler? Cara sends him to the floor and Sheamus may have hurt his knee. Back in Sheamus catches Cara in a dive and hits a fallaway slam for no cover. He loads up the High Cross but Cara counters into a rana for the surprise pin at 6:00.
Barrett takes Sheamus down post match and hits Wasteland. He looks weird in a collared shirt and slacks.
Christian is in the casino with a wallet. Naturally it belongs to Orton and its time to gamble with the $1000 he finds in there. He says Orton is going to need the money for anger management and his daughters college. Christian puts it all on 1 in a game of roulette and loses it of course. Christian says Ortons luck just ran out. I liked this as it was something outside of the ordinary which you hardly ever see anymore in promos. Just having something different in the background makes it more interesting.
Time for the showdown which is just the two big guys talking. Teddy moderates it for lack of a better term. Henry isnt going to come farther from the stage though because he cant hold his temper well enough apparently. They talk about pain and how its Shows problem apparently.
Show says everyone has been waiting for Henry to wake up and Show finally did it. Henry asks if Show thinks bigger is better. Without waiting for an answer, he says stronger and meaner are better. Both guys say the other has no idea what theyre capable of. Teddy has to stop a fight and says well see who wins Sunday. I still dont get the appeal of this feud. Scratch that. I get the appeal, but I just dont care about Mark Henry at all.
Rosa Mendes vs. Kelly Kelly
Non title here. I have absolutely no idea what to talk about here. Match is over and theres just nothing to say. Kelly wins with the K2 at 1:49. The majority of the match was spent talking about jobs Rosa has had. Nothing else to say at all. Oh and Alicia was at ringside and did nothing at all.
Johnny Curtis pulls an elephant out of a bag which is supposed to be a cat. Apparently its the big elephant in the room. Theyre really running out of ideas arent they?
Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater
Both guys have their own music now. Slater says hes tired of being held back and that hell show hes better tonight. Nice technical stuff to start as they know each other really well. The crowd doesnt seem to care at all but you cant have everything I guess. Gabriel starts fighting back but cant hit the 450. Cole runs his mouth some more as Slater misses a moonsault. The 450 hits and were done at 2:52. Well Slater looks like nothing now.
Video on Punk vs. Cena, which is the same from NXT.
Randy Orton vs. Kane
For some reason Ive wanted to see a proper feud between these two for years. Just seems like it would be good. Orton hammers away to start which doesnt really work. Christian is on the stage. Kane hammers away as he is known to do. The clothesline hits and he calls for the chokeslam about 75 seconds into this. Orton counters with right hands but he cant take Kane down. He manages to get the powerslam and the elevated DDT. RKO is countered and Orton sees Christian, allowing Kane to send him to the floor. Christian throws a drink at Randy and runs into the crowd. Its enough for the count out at 2:58 though.
Orton chases after Christian and gets him near Kane and the beatdown is on. Kane doesnt like Christian though and chases him off. Orton pops up and hits the RKO on Kane but Christian hits a spear and pounds on Randy. Christian gets a chair but Orton gets it away from him as the Canadian runs. Kane takes a chair shot. Make that a lot of them. Orton goes all bugged eyed on Christian to end the show.
Results
Ezekiel Jackson b. Ted DiBiase Torture Rack
Cody Rhodes b. Daniel Bryan Beautiful Disaster
Sin Cara b. Sheamus Hurricanrana into a pin
Kelly Kelly b. Rosa Mendes K2
Justin Gabriel b. Heath Slater 450 Splash
Kane b. Randy Orton via countout
Saturday
Nothing of note today.
Sunday
Money in the Bank 2011
Date: July 17, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler
Its Money in the Bank and Im rather clueless as to who is going to win three of the four main matches. The MITB matches themselves are total tossups and the Punk vs. Cena match could go a bunch of ways. Itll definitely be interesting and will set the stage for at least the next few months worth of shows, if nothing else due to the MITB cases, assuming one isnt cashed in tonight. Lets get to it.
Opening video is of course mainly about Punk vs. Cena, which to be fair is by far and away the biggest match on the card.
Sin Cara vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan
This is going to be a big insane match so its almost impossible to call whats going on in these things. Im really not sure who to predict in this. I went with Cody as a more or less random choice mainly out of a lack of anyone else. Big mess to start as these really should only have six people in them. Kane, Barrett and Sheamus clear the ring out and its a three way staredown.
The Europeans .wait Kane is from Spain. Ok the two guys not named Kane go down and its ladder time already. Bryan dropkicks Kane down as Slater and Gabriel team up a bit. Cara, who is in white/gray here, gets taken down but the former tag partners fight already. Slater goes for the ladder and is loudly booed. Gabriel goes up but the ladder is way off center. Bryan dropkicks him off but Cody goes up.
Kane sends Sheamus and Cody to the floor but Barrett stops the Big Bald. Kane throws a ladder at Sheamus to take him down. Slater vs. Kane and guess who wins that one. Cara pops up out of nowhere to drill Kane and break up the clothesline. Bryan hits a big dive and Gabriel does the same. Sorry for all the play by play stuff but its all you can do in these things for the most part.
Cara is like screw you guys Im the flier here and takes out Sheamus with a huge one. He follows that up by kicking Bryan in the head and hitting the top rope C4 to take Bryan down. Sin tries to go for the briefcase but cant pick a ladder up and into the ring. Barrett kicks his head off so it doesnt matter. They do the whole set up a ladder as a bridge from the ring to the table thing as is customary.
Cara avoids going through it though and Barrett clotheslines the post. For some reason the masked guy goes in again without a ladder and gets his head kicked off by Sheamus. Not a good night for the Mexican dude. Cara gets powerbombed through the ladder to more or less kill him. BIG pop for Sheamus for that one. Sheamus is controlling almost everyone here as Cara is taken out on a stretcher.
Kane and Sheamus are in the ring and fighting over a ladder. Scratch that as all three go to the floor. Bryan, Kane and Cody are all in the ring with ladders now. The small guys work together to take Kane down and there goes that partnership. Cara is gone now, as in out of the entire arena via a stretcher. Kane has the big ladder set up in the ring and everyone comes in. Cody makes an attempt but all the small guys make a save.
The former Nexus triple teams Bryan and then the tag team tells Barrett to go ahead. Barrett proves why British wrestlers are stupid as he goes up and is pulled down just a few seconds later. Both of them go up but Rhodes shoves the ladder down. Cross Rhodes takes someone down and its time for Barrett and Rhodes to fight over the ladder. Cross Rhodes takes Barrett out but Sheamus makes the last second save.
Theres an Irish Curse and pasty goes up, only for Bryan to make the save. Bryan rams him into the ladder a few times and goes up at the same time. Sheamus and Kane combine for a Doomsday Device to END Bryan. Kane and Sheamus are alone in the ring now. Well other than a ladder but that doesnt count I dont think. The big ladder is in the ring and a regular one is set up as a bridge against the middle buckle.
Kane escapes though and chokeslams various small people. Big Bald goes up but Bryan makes ANOTHER save despite being legally deceased I believe. Bryan goes up and almost gets the LeBell Lock on the ladder. That would be awesome. Bryan manages to knock Kane to the floor but Slater stops him. Bryan saves AGAIN as hes been insane so far tonight.
Slater goes up one more time but Barrett saves. Time for Barrett vs. Sheamus which doesnt sound all that appealing. Thankfully they team up and stop Slater, using a ladder like a fork to stop Slater and shove him off the top. That was cool. Sheamus goes nuts and takes out a lot of people so he can climb. Naturally hes not that smart so he sets up another ladder on the top rope.
Sheamus is just beating people up at the moment and not really trying to go after it. Even Booker is saying GO FOR IT. Ok now hes going up but Kane pops up from nowhere to stop him. Sheamus has a bridge ladder beneath him. He goes onto it but doesnt break it. FREAKING OW MAN! Wasteland hits Kane and Gabriel climbs a ladder and hits 450 in the tightest space possible. That was AWESOME.
Bryan and Cody go at it on the ladder as everyone but Barrett is down. Wade comes up as Bryan tries to choke Cody out because hes an idiot. Cody goes down and Wade takes an elbow to knock him backwards a bit. Bryan is alone up there and Wade is on the bridge. Bryan kicks him down and WINS THE CASE! Totally didnt see that one coming.
Vince is here. Hokey smoke thats Johnny Ace with him.
Apparently Punk hasnt signed yet but is in a meeting for a last second negotiation.
Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella
Booker says he never dressed like his brother in Harlem Heat. Is his memory failing or something? No idea what you want me to say here. Theyre both hot, theyre both inept, the match is slightly longer than a regular match they have on Raw. Kelly is champion in case youre reading this like three years from now. Its a totally boring match and its a total food break for the crowd. Oh and Eve is with Kelly at ringside here. Crowd is dead here. K2 ends this at like four minutes. Total filler and it knows it.
Summerslam ad. Its in the summer you know. Eh Divas in bikinis is never a bad thing.
We recap Henry vs. Show. Theyre both big, theyre both strong, they both hurt people. Yeah thats about it.
Mark Henry vs. Big Show
Henry is in blue here. They slug it out to start and Show JUMPS at him with a shoulder block to take Mark down. Out to the floor early and Show loads up a chokeslam through the table but Henry breaks it up. Show shoves him over the steps and the bald one is in control. Scratch that as Henry sends him into the steps and Show goes back in. Henry goes for the knee with a chop block and Show is in trouble.
Boot to the head gets two. Half crab goes on which makes sense for once. Henry? Psychology? Whats in this lemonade Im drinking? Show grabs a rope and manages to kick Henry off which looked rather cool. Splash/running clothesline hits Show in the corner and Henry is all angry and such. Show GOES UP and hits a shoulder block off the middle rope but he hurts his knee again.
Both guys are down now and the count gets like three. Show loads up the chokeslam but Henry kicks him in the knee to break it up. Worlds Strongest Slam but it only gets two. Dang I would have thought that was the ending. Another Worlds Strongest Slam and a pair of splashes and Show is finally done.
Post match Henry Pillmanizes Shows leg with a Vader Bomb. Show goes out on a stretcher saying its broken to fill in some time.
Vince is saying this is a nightmare as Josh comes in to ask if Punk has re-signed. He hasnt apparently but Vince offered him a huge contract. Vince talks for a bit and ultimately says if Punk leaves with the title, may God have mercy on Cenas soul.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio
Everyone grabs a mini ladder as they come into the ring. Rey comes out last and gets almost ZERO reaction. Everyone has a ladder and they surround Del Rio, beating him down rather easily. Booker picks Evan Bourne which Lawler is surprised at. Some of the guys are out of the ring now and Swagger is thrown out for the second time. Truth and Miz have a stand off and duel a bit.
Swagger takes them both out because thats just smart. He sets up a ladder but Kofi and Bourne run in at the same time for an attempt to go up. Now they team up and take out some heels. Rey gets a rana to take Swagger to the floor again and Truth takes Kofi out. Riley crotches him on a ladder and is the only one standing. Miz comes in for the save but all the ladders are too short anyway so its not like it matters.
Riley dives over the top and takes out Swagger and Miz in a nice spot. Truth dives over to take out all three of them. Kofi and Rey do a double dive to take all of them out. Bourne goes up and everyone gasps. SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO ALL FIVE GUYS!!! Bourne goes up a big ladder but Miz makes the save. Bourne gets a hand on it but so does Miz. Del Rio pops up and shoves it down as Miz may have hurt his knee.
He landed on it coming down and may have jammed it. I think its worked but it doesnt look right AT ALL. This might be legit actually. Miz is carried out but cant seem to put any weight on the knee. I think he might be actually hurt if the visual is any sign of it. Truth and Del Rio are both climbed over (literally) by Rey and Bourne. The faces hit stereo ranas to take out the heels. That looked SWEET.
Swagger is all alone but Kofi is like screw that and jumps over him onto the ladder. Swagger puts an ankle lock on him instead and Riley tries to steal the case but fails. Rey vs. Truth at the moment with Rey taking a ladder to the ribs. He climbs onto a ladder but falls onto it face first. Kofi goes up and uses a ladder as a step down for a Boom Drop onto Truth. Booker of course criticizes him for dancing too much.
This match is a lot more choreographed and you can tell it a lot. Truth messes up a see-saw spot to Swagger. Good thing Swagger was nice enough to sit there and let Truth do it again. Rey and Riley slug it out on the ladder but Bourne and Del Rio get ladders of their own. Down goes Alberto and Rey has his hand on it. All seven guys are on ladders in what looks like a clothed orgy, which kind of defeats the purpose but you get the idea.
Down goes Del Rio and there goes Jack too. Bourne is tossed but the other four are all there still. Truth goes down and Kofi gets a swinging kick to knock Rey off. Hes all alone but Swagger makes a last second stop. They both fall and it looked VERY bad as Kofis knee landed on Swaggers throat. HERES MIZ! He literally hops down the aisle on one leg but Rey stops (to huge booing).
Rey and Del Rio fight a bit but down goes Del Rio. Never mind as hes coming back up again. Briefcase to Albertos head but Rey still cant get it. REYS MASK IS OFF! Everything falls down and Rey has to cover his face. Alberto goes up as Rey is all terrified. Alberto is all alone and its over. Didnt see that one coming.
You get a relatively clear shot of Reys face during the highlight package.
We recap Christian vs. Orton, which is more or less Christian cant beat Orton and turned heel because his initial title loss to him was unfair. If Orton gets disqualified or if theres a bad decision, Orton loses the title.
Del Rio says he shouldnt have had to win but this is his destiny.
Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton
After some big match intros were ready to go. Christian shows off some nice psychology as he throws a chair in immediately and tries to get Orton to snap. The chair goes to the floor and Orton takes over with relative ease. The crowd is totally behind Christian here. Out to the floor with Orton in control but Christian takes over back inside. These two have had some very good matches so this should be awesome.
They slug it out a bit with Christian mostly in control. Orton grabs a rollup for two. Killswitch doesnt work and they clothesline each other to the floor. Back in and Christian jumps over him and blocks an RKO. Jackknife cover gets two for Randy. Theres the Thesz Press as the fans arent pleased. Elevated DDT doesnt work but Christian tries his spinning dive out of the corner, only to jump into a dropkick to the ribs.
Christian takes over again as hes done a lot in this match. Top rope headbutt gets two. Killswitch hits out of almost nowhere but Orton gets out at 2.999. Even the crowd is into this now. Christian loads up a spear but he hits the post instead. Orton puts Christian in that over the shoulder backbreaker into the neckbreaker (LOVE that move) for two. He sets for the Punt but Christian moves. Randy settles for the powerslam instead.
Theres the elevated DDT and Christian is in trouble. Christian spits in Ortons face to tick him off and Orton goes off on him. He breaks at three though so its not a DQ. Orton kicks Christian low and its a DQ! CHRISTIAN WINS THE TITLE!!! THAT STIPULATION ACTUALLY WORKED!!!
Orton destroys Christian post match, hitting a bunch of RKOs on the table while Teddy tries to calm him down.
Ok if Bryan doesnt come down now, hes an idiot. Apparently hes an idiot because hes not here.
We recap Punk vs. Cena. If you dont know this, youre an idiot. Basically, Punk went on a massive rant against WWE and Cena in a worked shoot. This is his last night with the company and Vince is involved too. If Punk leaves with the title, Cena is fired.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk
And here we go. Punk has an epic reaction as hes the hometown boy. He even has a new shirt. The crowd is rabid for Punk. He sits in the ring and is a total face in the eyes of the crowd. HUGE CM Punk chant goes up as we wait on Cena. I seriously worry for Cenas safety if he wins. OH MAN that heat is ONS levels. Punk goes out to be near the crowd for Cenas entrance. Total stoic Cena here as everything he does is booed out of the building.
They do big match intros and Punk is as over as free beer. Here we go. Im so fired up for this its unreal. TON of time for this too. Punk grabs a headlock and the YOU CANT WRESTLE chants start up. We actually do some chain wrestling and Cena is booed out of the building for a snap mare. They do some obvious spot calling while Cena has a headlock. Punk tries to fire off a spin kick but Cena ducks.
YOU CANT WRESTLE chants start up and Punk points at himself and asks the fans if they mean him. Punk almost gets an Anaconda Vice but Cena reverses into an armbar. Theyre working slow here but thats perfectly fine given that they have over 45 minutes if need be. Jerry tries to make Punk out to be the heel here and its just failing completely. Theres the duel and its all CENA SUCKS rather quickly.
Even Cole is against Punk here. Headlock goes on again as Cena has mostly controlled here, but were only like 5 minutes in. Hip toss by Punk sets up a dropkick and Punk speeds things up a bit. Theres a headlock of his own and Cena is down. We reference Montreal because thats just what we do here in WWE. Punk does You Cant See Me to Cena and they both try their finishers but its a stalemate.
HUGE CM Punk chant goes up which is par for the course tonight. Punk goes for the knee and takes over again. Cena fires back with the bulldog for two. Off to a front facelock and Punk shakes his finger no. Ive never seen as many spots called in a single match. Cena hits a clothesline and Punk might have lost a tooth. Off to an arm trap chinlock which is close to a Crossface with Cena on his back.
Punk gets up and suplexes his way out of it for two. Cena does a Bret Hart chest to the buckle bump which gets two. All Punk at this point. Cena gets something going and hits a release fishermans suplex for two. AA is reversed again and Punk gets a quick DDT for two. Triangle choke goes on Cena and we slow it down again. It seems like theyre saving energy. Theyve been at it nearly ten minutes and its 10:22 so thats a very likely scenario.
Cena counters out of it but Punk throws him to the floor. Punk teases going up but just climbs out instead. The fans applaud Punk just for picking Cena up. The fans chant for Colt Cabana and theres a knee to the back of the neck of Cena while hes hanging off the apron. That gets two back in the ring. Punk charges at Cena but his arm hits the post to buy Cena a few seconds.
And never mind as Punk hits a clothesline for two. Back to the chinlock as this needs to go a long time since the rest holds are getting a bit boring. There are actually some Cena chants and Punk comes off the middle rope with a spinning cross body. Cena might have hurt his knee as hes going to the apron a bit. Punk goes after him but cant suplex him back in. Cena manages to suplex him to the floor and the fans clap for a bit.
I think the knee was a work as hes not even holding it at the moment. Oh wait yes he is. That was more or less an FU off the apron. Back in the ring that gets two as hes rubbing the knee now. He can stand on it and hits another release fishermans. Elbow drop gets two. Cena sets for what looks like a powerslam but flips Punk forward into a sitout slam for two.
Its only 10:30 and theyve been going at it over 15 minutes. The knee looks fine. Its boo/yay time and the yays are winning it. We go WAY old school with an abdominal stretch. HE EVEN HOOKS THE LEG PROPERLY! Punk hip tosses out of it and its a double clothesline to put them both down. Cena up first and he initiates the ending sequence. The Protobomb is reversed though and Punk gets the loudest reaction for a rollup youll ever here.
Protobomb hits this time but You Cant See Me results in a kick to the head. Suicide dive takes Cena down and the fans erupt again. Punk high fives a fan while hes still on the ground in a cool moment. Punk misses a cross body and now he Cant See Cena. Five Knuckle Shuffle hits at about 20 minutes. AA is countered and Punk uses his martial arts for two.
Punk is looking towards the entrance and smiles for no apparent reason. GTS is loaded up but Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for two. Punk fights back with some knees to the jaw and a bulldog. Springboard clothesline gets two and the fans are still totally into this. The replay shows how sweet those knees were. Out of nowhere Cena grabs the STF and Punk is in trouble! Oh of course he makes the rope but it takes awhile for him to get there.
As Cena goes for Punk again he gets caught in the side of the head with a big old kick for two. Cena rolls through a cross body but the AA is countered into the GTS but Cena grabs the leg and the STF is back on again! Punk cant make the ropes but Cena pulls him back to the middle again. Cole says its a matter of time and hes right. Itll just be multiple more minutes because Punk manages to counter from the mat into the Anaconda Vice. SWEET!
Cena gets back up theres the AA for TWO. This is getting awesome as they used the slow build. Im glued to my screen which hasnt happened since a few years ago with Taker vs. Shawn. Top rope legdrop is countered via something like a powerbomb for two. Punk almost Hulks Up and says its time to Go To Sleep. He loads it up but Cena grabs the rope and clotheslines him on it.
The top rope legdrop hits this time but it only gets two. These kickouts are incredible. Theyre not going to end the match but theyve built it up so well and the audience being so into them is making up the difference. Cena is getting his 19th wind and looks like he wants the AA. It hits clean again and PUNK KICKS OUT. Cena tries an AA off the middle rope but Punk fights out of it.
He manages to get a top rope hurricanrana but Cena goes to the corner to escape. Corner knee sets up the GTS and Cole is scared to death. The knee only hits the ribs and Cena manages to fall out of the ring instead of being in pinning position. And heres Vince with Johnny Ace. The distraction lets Cena get the STF and Vince sends Johnny Ace to ring the bell. Cena hits the floor and blasts Ace, saying he doesnt want it that way. Vince and Cena have a staredown in the aisle and Cena says its my way. He charges back into the ring and theres the GTS and PUNK WINS!
Vince jumps on commentary and says to kill the music. He wants Alberto out here NOW to cash in. Alberto runs out and Punk kicks him in the head almost immediately to take him down. Punk goes into the crowd and thats probably the safest place in the world for him. The bell didnt ring and Del Rio never cashed in officially.
Results
Daniel Bryan won the Smackdown Money in the Bank Briefcase
Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella K2
Mark Henry b. Big Show Splash
Alberto Del Rio won the Raw Money in the Bank Briefcase
Christian b. Randy Orton via DQ Orton kicks Christian low
CM Punk b. John Cena GTS
Quick Results
Raw
John Cena b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty AA to McGillicutty
Kelly Kelly b. Melina K2
Evan Bourne/Alex Riley/Kofi Kingston b. The Miz/R-Truth/Jack Swagger Inverted DDT to Swagger
Big Show vs. Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre went to a double countout
NXT
Derrick Bateman b. Titus ONeil and Darren Young Headlock into a mat slam to ONeil
Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyson Kidd Rollup
Impact
Bobby Roode b. Samoa Joe and DAngelo Dinero Roode pinned Joe while in the Koquina Clutch
Austin Aries b. Shannon Moore Slingshot spinning splash
Tara b. Madison Rayne Widows Peak
Mexican America b. British Invasion Anarquia pinned Magnus after a forearm from Hernandez
Sting b. Mr. Anderson Scorpion Death Drop
Smackdown
Ezekiel Jackson b. Ted DiBiase Torture Rack
Cody Rhodes b. Daniel Bryan Beautiful Disaster
Sin Cara b. Sheamus Hurricanrana into a pin
Kelly Kelly b. Rosa Mendes K2
Justin Gabriel b. Heath Slater 450 Splash
Kane b. Randy Orton via countout
Money in the Bank 2011
Daniel Bryan won the Smackdown Money in the Bank Briefcase
Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella K2
Mark Henry b. Big Show Splash
Alberto Del Rio won the Raw Money in the Bank Briefcase
Christian b. Randy Orton via DQ Orton kicks Christian low
CM Punk b. John Cena GTS
Impact got a 1.19, up slightly from last week.
Smackdown
Date: July 15, 2011
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
Its the final show before Money in the Bank and everything is pretty much set in stone at this point. The MITB match itself is a pretty open field but Id look for Sheamus, Barrett or Rhodes to win it (what a limb Im going out on with those picks). Probably just some last minute pushes for the show here as expected. Lets get to it.
Do you know your enemy? Mine is a bad internet connection.
Orton vs. Kane tonight.
DiBiase gets a shot at Jackson too.
Josh is in the ring and brings out the dude that hears voices in his head. Orton says he wont get disqualified and that he thinks this is a cheap attempt by Christian to try to steal the title. Christian pops up on screen and says that clause was his lawyers idea. He has a gift for Orton which is a portrait of Christian standing over Orton with the title. Orton says that isnt going to work to make him mad.
Christian starts talking about Ortons family, namely Bob Orton Jr., who was only a glorified sidekick. His dad is in the Hall of Fame in the wing with guys like Drew Carey and the other cheap jokes. Hes in the HOF to keep Randy happy. Orton says come say that to his face, which Christian says hell do once he wins the title on Sunday. He calls Orton pathetic and Orton calls Christian a pathetic excuse for a man and a superstar. After Sunday, Christian will be exposed as a flash in the pan that needed Edge to help him win the title for five days. Simple segment but the emotion was there.
Video on Show vs. Henry which I think is the same one from Raw. They face off tonight. Not a match, just a face off.
Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Ted DiBiase
New ring announcer tonight who looks a bit better in a blue dress than Chimmel does. DiBiase hits Jackson and that doesnt go well for him. Out to the floor as Booker rambles about his Fave Five as is his custom. Jackson is rammed into the post which gets two in the ring. Cody is watching and the referee, the former Nunzio, is really loud here.
DiBiase takes over and throws on a chinlock. The following clothesline is countered by Jackson. How has no one else ever countered that? Apparently Ted has blown all of his money and its implied that it was on Maryse. Here come the slams but DiBiase counters into a Dream Street attempt but Jackson shrugs it off and slams Ted again. Rack doesnt work but the second attempt does with the submission coming at 3:45.
Most of the MITB people are in matches later.
Ted is in the back and Cody says hell bag him if Ted loses again.
Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes
We get a quick recap video of this feud during the introductions. Its almost shot like its from the mind of a crazy person so it looks really cool. Ok make that a long one. Bryan hammers him into the corner to start us off and he escapes an Alabama Slam attempt. LeBell Lock doesnt work and Cole puts a bag on and imitates Booker. Ok that was kind of funny.
Rhodes takes over for a bit but Bryan sends him to the floor and takes over with a dive. We take a break and come back in the ring with Cody in control. Cody throws on a half crab which doesnt last long. Like you can put a submission on Bryan. Cody works over the ribs as the fans keep coming in and out of this one. Booker gets asked about being in a MITB match and somehow he starts talking about Daniel Bryan. Apparently its too brutal to talk about. I give up.
Anyway its back to the half crab as the announcers totally ignore the match other than Josh when he can get a word in edgewise. Bryan fires back with some forearms and a leg lariat/running kick for two. Some light Cody chants start up. Not were talking about Booker being a drum major. Alabama Slam gets two and the commentary is really starting to get old. Talk about MITB or ANYTHING of importance, but drop the bickering.
Cody tries Cross Rhodes but Bryan climbs the ropes to get behind Cody. Bryan gets put on the top but kicks Cody away and manages to grab the LeBell Lock while on the ropes. That gets broken up of course so Bryan settles for the missile dropkick for a long two. Running dropkick in the corner puts Cody down again. They both go up and Bryan gets crotched badly. That positioning allows the Beautiful Disaster to end this at 7:29 shown of 10:59.
Teddy is on the phone talking about getting protection or something. A referee comes in and Teddy tells him that if theres any physicality in the Big Show/Mark Henry showdown, their PPV match is off. The referee leaves and Teddy talks about gambling a lot. This seems to be a running theme with him. Kane comes in to thank Teddy for giving him a match with Orton as he requested. Kane isnt happy because hes starting to feel human instead of like a monster. Teddy says if it makes him feel any better, hes scaring Teddy right now. Kane says if Teddy was really scared, Teddy wouldnt be able to tell him.
Jinder and Khali are in a photo shoot and Jinder isnt happy with the photographer paying attention to Khali. They both yell at him and thats about it.
Christian is looking at Ortons bus and theres spray paint on the side talking about Christian being the uncrowned champion. He says hell find out who did this.
Sheamus vs. Sin Cara
This should be interesting. Wade Barrett is on commentary here. The match starts after a break. Cara takes over to start with his high flying stuff. Barrett admits that the Corre was a disaster. Sheamus cant get anything going as Cara gets an armdrag out of the corner. And lets talk about the Fave Five because its been a full 4 minutes since we did. Apparently Booker sees some of himself in Sheamus. Uh .ok?
We talk about the drum major stuff as its kind of interesting to see how long they can go without actually talking about the match. Barrett is talking about how hes going to win as Sheamus gets a running knee lift while Cara is draped in the ropes. Off to a cravate as were probably two minutes without talking about the match now. Now lets look at Booker and Barrett talking because the match isnt important I guess.
Josh finally mentions Cara being grounded here, which apparently has NEVER happened to him before. Honestly, is there something in the water in the announcers water cooler? Cara sends him to the floor and Sheamus may have hurt his knee. Back in Sheamus catches Cara in a dive and hits a fallaway slam for no cover. He loads up the High Cross but Cara counters into a rana for the surprise pin at 6:00.
Barrett takes Sheamus down post match and hits Wasteland. He looks weird in a collared shirt and slacks.
Christian is in the casino with a wallet. Naturally it belongs to Orton and its time to gamble with the $1000 he finds in there. He says Orton is going to need the money for anger management and his daughters college. Christian puts it all on 1 in a game of roulette and loses it of course. Christian says Ortons luck just ran out. I liked this as it was something outside of the ordinary which you hardly ever see anymore in promos. Just having something different in the background makes it more interesting.
Time for the showdown which is just the two big guys talking. Teddy moderates it for lack of a better term. Henry isnt going to come farther from the stage though because he cant hold his temper well enough apparently. They talk about pain and how its Shows problem apparently.
Show says everyone has been waiting for Henry to wake up and Show finally did it. Henry asks if Show thinks bigger is better. Without waiting for an answer, he says stronger and meaner are better. Both guys say the other has no idea what theyre capable of. Teddy has to stop a fight and says well see who wins Sunday. I still dont get the appeal of this feud. Scratch that. I get the appeal, but I just dont care about Mark Henry at all.
Rosa Mendes vs. Kelly Kelly
Non title here. I have absolutely no idea what to talk about here. Match is over and theres just nothing to say. Kelly wins with the K2 at 1:49. The majority of the match was spent talking about jobs Rosa has had. Nothing else to say at all. Oh and Alicia was at ringside and did nothing at all.
Johnny Curtis pulls an elephant out of a bag which is supposed to be a cat. Apparently its the big elephant in the room. Theyre really running out of ideas arent they?
Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater
Both guys have their own music now. Slater says hes tired of being held back and that hell show hes better tonight. Nice technical stuff to start as they know each other really well. The crowd doesnt seem to care at all but you cant have everything I guess. Gabriel starts fighting back but cant hit the 450. Cole runs his mouth some more as Slater misses a moonsault. The 450 hits and were done at 2:52. Well Slater looks like nothing now.
Video on Punk vs. Cena, which is the same from NXT.
Randy Orton vs. Kane
For some reason Ive wanted to see a proper feud between these two for years. Just seems like it would be good. Orton hammers away to start which doesnt really work. Christian is on the stage. Kane hammers away as he is known to do. The clothesline hits and he calls for the chokeslam about 75 seconds into this. Orton counters with right hands but he cant take Kane down. He manages to get the powerslam and the elevated DDT. RKO is countered and Orton sees Christian, allowing Kane to send him to the floor. Christian throws a drink at Randy and runs into the crowd. Its enough for the count out at 2:58 though.
Orton chases after Christian and gets him near Kane and the beatdown is on. Kane doesnt like Christian though and chases him off. Orton pops up and hits the RKO on Kane but Christian hits a spear and pounds on Randy. Christian gets a chair but Orton gets it away from him as the Canadian runs. Kane takes a chair shot. Make that a lot of them. Orton goes all bugged eyed on Christian to end the show.
Results
Ezekiel Jackson b. Ted DiBiase Torture Rack
Cody Rhodes b. Daniel Bryan Beautiful Disaster
Sin Cara b. Sheamus Hurricanrana into a pin
Kelly Kelly b. Rosa Mendes K2
Justin Gabriel b. Heath Slater 450 Splash
Kane b. Randy Orton via countout
Saturday
Nothing of note today.
Sunday
Money in the Bank 2011
Date: July 17, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler
Its Money in the Bank and Im rather clueless as to who is going to win three of the four main matches. The MITB matches themselves are total tossups and the Punk vs. Cena match could go a bunch of ways. Itll definitely be interesting and will set the stage for at least the next few months worth of shows, if nothing else due to the MITB cases, assuming one isnt cashed in tonight. Lets get to it.
Opening video is of course mainly about Punk vs. Cena, which to be fair is by far and away the biggest match on the card.
Sin Cara vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan
This is going to be a big insane match so its almost impossible to call whats going on in these things. Im really not sure who to predict in this. I went with Cody as a more or less random choice mainly out of a lack of anyone else. Big mess to start as these really should only have six people in them. Kane, Barrett and Sheamus clear the ring out and its a three way staredown.
The Europeans .wait Kane is from Spain. Ok the two guys not named Kane go down and its ladder time already. Bryan dropkicks Kane down as Slater and Gabriel team up a bit. Cara, who is in white/gray here, gets taken down but the former tag partners fight already. Slater goes for the ladder and is loudly booed. Gabriel goes up but the ladder is way off center. Bryan dropkicks him off but Cody goes up.
Kane sends Sheamus and Cody to the floor but Barrett stops the Big Bald. Kane throws a ladder at Sheamus to take him down. Slater vs. Kane and guess who wins that one. Cara pops up out of nowhere to drill Kane and break up the clothesline. Bryan hits a big dive and Gabriel does the same. Sorry for all the play by play stuff but its all you can do in these things for the most part.
Cara is like screw you guys Im the flier here and takes out Sheamus with a huge one. He follows that up by kicking Bryan in the head and hitting the top rope C4 to take Bryan down. Sin tries to go for the briefcase but cant pick a ladder up and into the ring. Barrett kicks his head off so it doesnt matter. They do the whole set up a ladder as a bridge from the ring to the table thing as is customary.
Cara avoids going through it though and Barrett clotheslines the post. For some reason the masked guy goes in again without a ladder and gets his head kicked off by Sheamus. Not a good night for the Mexican dude. Cara gets powerbombed through the ladder to more or less kill him. BIG pop for Sheamus for that one. Sheamus is controlling almost everyone here as Cara is taken out on a stretcher.
Kane and Sheamus are in the ring and fighting over a ladder. Scratch that as all three go to the floor. Bryan, Kane and Cody are all in the ring with ladders now. The small guys work together to take Kane down and there goes that partnership. Cara is gone now, as in out of the entire arena via a stretcher. Kane has the big ladder set up in the ring and everyone comes in. Cody makes an attempt but all the small guys make a save.
The former Nexus triple teams Bryan and then the tag team tells Barrett to go ahead. Barrett proves why British wrestlers are stupid as he goes up and is pulled down just a few seconds later. Both of them go up but Rhodes shoves the ladder down. Cross Rhodes takes someone down and its time for Barrett and Rhodes to fight over the ladder. Cross Rhodes takes Barrett out but Sheamus makes the last second save.
Theres an Irish Curse and pasty goes up, only for Bryan to make the save. Bryan rams him into the ladder a few times and goes up at the same time. Sheamus and Kane combine for a Doomsday Device to END Bryan. Kane and Sheamus are alone in the ring now. Well other than a ladder but that doesnt count I dont think. The big ladder is in the ring and a regular one is set up as a bridge against the middle buckle.
Kane escapes though and chokeslams various small people. Big Bald goes up but Bryan makes ANOTHER save despite being legally deceased I believe. Bryan goes up and almost gets the LeBell Lock on the ladder. That would be awesome. Bryan manages to knock Kane to the floor but Slater stops him. Bryan saves AGAIN as hes been insane so far tonight.
Slater goes up one more time but Barrett saves. Time for Barrett vs. Sheamus which doesnt sound all that appealing. Thankfully they team up and stop Slater, using a ladder like a fork to stop Slater and shove him off the top. That was cool. Sheamus goes nuts and takes out a lot of people so he can climb. Naturally hes not that smart so he sets up another ladder on the top rope.
Sheamus is just beating people up at the moment and not really trying to go after it. Even Booker is saying GO FOR IT. Ok now hes going up but Kane pops up from nowhere to stop him. Sheamus has a bridge ladder beneath him. He goes onto it but doesnt break it. FREAKING OW MAN! Wasteland hits Kane and Gabriel climbs a ladder and hits 450 in the tightest space possible. That was AWESOME.
Bryan and Cody go at it on the ladder as everyone but Barrett is down. Wade comes up as Bryan tries to choke Cody out because hes an idiot. Cody goes down and Wade takes an elbow to knock him backwards a bit. Bryan is alone up there and Wade is on the bridge. Bryan kicks him down and WINS THE CASE! Totally didnt see that one coming.
Vince is here. Hokey smoke thats Johnny Ace with him.
Apparently Punk hasnt signed yet but is in a meeting for a last second negotiation.
Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella
Booker says he never dressed like his brother in Harlem Heat. Is his memory failing or something? No idea what you want me to say here. Theyre both hot, theyre both inept, the match is slightly longer than a regular match they have on Raw. Kelly is champion in case youre reading this like three years from now. Its a totally boring match and its a total food break for the crowd. Oh and Eve is with Kelly at ringside here. Crowd is dead here. K2 ends this at like four minutes. Total filler and it knows it.
Summerslam ad. Its in the summer you know. Eh Divas in bikinis is never a bad thing.
We recap Henry vs. Show. Theyre both big, theyre both strong, they both hurt people. Yeah thats about it.
Mark Henry vs. Big Show
Henry is in blue here. They slug it out to start and Show JUMPS at him with a shoulder block to take Mark down. Out to the floor early and Show loads up a chokeslam through the table but Henry breaks it up. Show shoves him over the steps and the bald one is in control. Scratch that as Henry sends him into the steps and Show goes back in. Henry goes for the knee with a chop block and Show is in trouble.
Boot to the head gets two. Half crab goes on which makes sense for once. Henry? Psychology? Whats in this lemonade Im drinking? Show grabs a rope and manages to kick Henry off which looked rather cool. Splash/running clothesline hits Show in the corner and Henry is all angry and such. Show GOES UP and hits a shoulder block off the middle rope but he hurts his knee again.
Both guys are down now and the count gets like three. Show loads up the chokeslam but Henry kicks him in the knee to break it up. Worlds Strongest Slam but it only gets two. Dang I would have thought that was the ending. Another Worlds Strongest Slam and a pair of splashes and Show is finally done.
Post match Henry Pillmanizes Shows leg with a Vader Bomb. Show goes out on a stretcher saying its broken to fill in some time.
Vince is saying this is a nightmare as Josh comes in to ask if Punk has re-signed. He hasnt apparently but Vince offered him a huge contract. Vince talks for a bit and ultimately says if Punk leaves with the title, may God have mercy on Cenas soul.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio
Everyone grabs a mini ladder as they come into the ring. Rey comes out last and gets almost ZERO reaction. Everyone has a ladder and they surround Del Rio, beating him down rather easily. Booker picks Evan Bourne which Lawler is surprised at. Some of the guys are out of the ring now and Swagger is thrown out for the second time. Truth and Miz have a stand off and duel a bit.
Swagger takes them both out because thats just smart. He sets up a ladder but Kofi and Bourne run in at the same time for an attempt to go up. Now they team up and take out some heels. Rey gets a rana to take Swagger to the floor again and Truth takes Kofi out. Riley crotches him on a ladder and is the only one standing. Miz comes in for the save but all the ladders are too short anyway so its not like it matters.
Riley dives over the top and takes out Swagger and Miz in a nice spot. Truth dives over to take out all three of them. Kofi and Rey do a double dive to take all of them out. Bourne goes up and everyone gasps. SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO ALL FIVE GUYS!!! Bourne goes up a big ladder but Miz makes the save. Bourne gets a hand on it but so does Miz. Del Rio pops up and shoves it down as Miz may have hurt his knee.
He landed on it coming down and may have jammed it. I think its worked but it doesnt look right AT ALL. This might be legit actually. Miz is carried out but cant seem to put any weight on the knee. I think he might be actually hurt if the visual is any sign of it. Truth and Del Rio are both climbed over (literally) by Rey and Bourne. The faces hit stereo ranas to take out the heels. That looked SWEET.
Swagger is all alone but Kofi is like screw that and jumps over him onto the ladder. Swagger puts an ankle lock on him instead and Riley tries to steal the case but fails. Rey vs. Truth at the moment with Rey taking a ladder to the ribs. He climbs onto a ladder but falls onto it face first. Kofi goes up and uses a ladder as a step down for a Boom Drop onto Truth. Booker of course criticizes him for dancing too much.
This match is a lot more choreographed and you can tell it a lot. Truth messes up a see-saw spot to Swagger. Good thing Swagger was nice enough to sit there and let Truth do it again. Rey and Riley slug it out on the ladder but Bourne and Del Rio get ladders of their own. Down goes Alberto and Rey has his hand on it. All seven guys are on ladders in what looks like a clothed orgy, which kind of defeats the purpose but you get the idea.
Down goes Del Rio and there goes Jack too. Bourne is tossed but the other four are all there still. Truth goes down and Kofi gets a swinging kick to knock Rey off. Hes all alone but Swagger makes a last second stop. They both fall and it looked VERY bad as Kofis knee landed on Swaggers throat. HERES MIZ! He literally hops down the aisle on one leg but Rey stops (to huge booing).
Rey and Del Rio fight a bit but down goes Del Rio. Never mind as hes coming back up again. Briefcase to Albertos head but Rey still cant get it. REYS MASK IS OFF! Everything falls down and Rey has to cover his face. Alberto goes up as Rey is all terrified. Alberto is all alone and its over. Didnt see that one coming.
You get a relatively clear shot of Reys face during the highlight package.
We recap Christian vs. Orton, which is more or less Christian cant beat Orton and turned heel because his initial title loss to him was unfair. If Orton gets disqualified or if theres a bad decision, Orton loses the title.
Del Rio says he shouldnt have had to win but this is his destiny.
Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton
After some big match intros were ready to go. Christian shows off some nice psychology as he throws a chair in immediately and tries to get Orton to snap. The chair goes to the floor and Orton takes over with relative ease. The crowd is totally behind Christian here. Out to the floor with Orton in control but Christian takes over back inside. These two have had some very good matches so this should be awesome.
They slug it out a bit with Christian mostly in control. Orton grabs a rollup for two. Killswitch doesnt work and they clothesline each other to the floor. Back in and Christian jumps over him and blocks an RKO. Jackknife cover gets two for Randy. Theres the Thesz Press as the fans arent pleased. Elevated DDT doesnt work but Christian tries his spinning dive out of the corner, only to jump into a dropkick to the ribs.
Christian takes over again as hes done a lot in this match. Top rope headbutt gets two. Killswitch hits out of almost nowhere but Orton gets out at 2.999. Even the crowd is into this now. Christian loads up a spear but he hits the post instead. Orton puts Christian in that over the shoulder backbreaker into the neckbreaker (LOVE that move) for two. He sets for the Punt but Christian moves. Randy settles for the powerslam instead.
Theres the elevated DDT and Christian is in trouble. Christian spits in Ortons face to tick him off and Orton goes off on him. He breaks at three though so its not a DQ. Orton kicks Christian low and its a DQ! CHRISTIAN WINS THE TITLE!!! THAT STIPULATION ACTUALLY WORKED!!!
Orton destroys Christian post match, hitting a bunch of RKOs on the table while Teddy tries to calm him down.
Ok if Bryan doesnt come down now, hes an idiot. Apparently hes an idiot because hes not here.
We recap Punk vs. Cena. If you dont know this, youre an idiot. Basically, Punk went on a massive rant against WWE and Cena in a worked shoot. This is his last night with the company and Vince is involved too. If Punk leaves with the title, Cena is fired.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk
And here we go. Punk has an epic reaction as hes the hometown boy. He even has a new shirt. The crowd is rabid for Punk. He sits in the ring and is a total face in the eyes of the crowd. HUGE CM Punk chant goes up as we wait on Cena. I seriously worry for Cenas safety if he wins. OH MAN that heat is ONS levels. Punk goes out to be near the crowd for Cenas entrance. Total stoic Cena here as everything he does is booed out of the building.
They do big match intros and Punk is as over as free beer. Here we go. Im so fired up for this its unreal. TON of time for this too. Punk grabs a headlock and the YOU CANT WRESTLE chants start up. We actually do some chain wrestling and Cena is booed out of the building for a snap mare. They do some obvious spot calling while Cena has a headlock. Punk tries to fire off a spin kick but Cena ducks.
YOU CANT WRESTLE chants start up and Punk points at himself and asks the fans if they mean him. Punk almost gets an Anaconda Vice but Cena reverses into an armbar. Theyre working slow here but thats perfectly fine given that they have over 45 minutes if need be. Jerry tries to make Punk out to be the heel here and its just failing completely. Theres the duel and its all CENA SUCKS rather quickly.
Even Cole is against Punk here. Headlock goes on again as Cena has mostly controlled here, but were only like 5 minutes in. Hip toss by Punk sets up a dropkick and Punk speeds things up a bit. Theres a headlock of his own and Cena is down. We reference Montreal because thats just what we do here in WWE. Punk does You Cant See Me to Cena and they both try their finishers but its a stalemate.
HUGE CM Punk chant goes up which is par for the course tonight. Punk goes for the knee and takes over again. Cena fires back with the bulldog for two. Off to a front facelock and Punk shakes his finger no. Ive never seen as many spots called in a single match. Cena hits a clothesline and Punk might have lost a tooth. Off to an arm trap chinlock which is close to a Crossface with Cena on his back.
Punk gets up and suplexes his way out of it for two. Cena does a Bret Hart chest to the buckle bump which gets two. All Punk at this point. Cena gets something going and hits a release fishermans suplex for two. AA is reversed again and Punk gets a quick DDT for two. Triangle choke goes on Cena and we slow it down again. It seems like theyre saving energy. Theyve been at it nearly ten minutes and its 10:22 so thats a very likely scenario.
Cena counters out of it but Punk throws him to the floor. Punk teases going up but just climbs out instead. The fans applaud Punk just for picking Cena up. The fans chant for Colt Cabana and theres a knee to the back of the neck of Cena while hes hanging off the apron. That gets two back in the ring. Punk charges at Cena but his arm hits the post to buy Cena a few seconds.
And never mind as Punk hits a clothesline for two. Back to the chinlock as this needs to go a long time since the rest holds are getting a bit boring. There are actually some Cena chants and Punk comes off the middle rope with a spinning cross body. Cena might have hurt his knee as hes going to the apron a bit. Punk goes after him but cant suplex him back in. Cena manages to suplex him to the floor and the fans clap for a bit.
I think the knee was a work as hes not even holding it at the moment. Oh wait yes he is. That was more or less an FU off the apron. Back in the ring that gets two as hes rubbing the knee now. He can stand on it and hits another release fishermans. Elbow drop gets two. Cena sets for what looks like a powerslam but flips Punk forward into a sitout slam for two.
Its only 10:30 and theyve been going at it over 15 minutes. The knee looks fine. Its boo/yay time and the yays are winning it. We go WAY old school with an abdominal stretch. HE EVEN HOOKS THE LEG PROPERLY! Punk hip tosses out of it and its a double clothesline to put them both down. Cena up first and he initiates the ending sequence. The Protobomb is reversed though and Punk gets the loudest reaction for a rollup youll ever here.
Protobomb hits this time but You Cant See Me results in a kick to the head. Suicide dive takes Cena down and the fans erupt again. Punk high fives a fan while hes still on the ground in a cool moment. Punk misses a cross body and now he Cant See Cena. Five Knuckle Shuffle hits at about 20 minutes. AA is countered and Punk uses his martial arts for two.
Punk is looking towards the entrance and smiles for no apparent reason. GTS is loaded up but Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for two. Punk fights back with some knees to the jaw and a bulldog. Springboard clothesline gets two and the fans are still totally into this. The replay shows how sweet those knees were. Out of nowhere Cena grabs the STF and Punk is in trouble! Oh of course he makes the rope but it takes awhile for him to get there.
As Cena goes for Punk again he gets caught in the side of the head with a big old kick for two. Cena rolls through a cross body but the AA is countered into the GTS but Cena grabs the leg and the STF is back on again! Punk cant make the ropes but Cena pulls him back to the middle again. Cole says its a matter of time and hes right. Itll just be multiple more minutes because Punk manages to counter from the mat into the Anaconda Vice. SWEET!
Cena gets back up theres the AA for TWO. This is getting awesome as they used the slow build. Im glued to my screen which hasnt happened since a few years ago with Taker vs. Shawn. Top rope legdrop is countered via something like a powerbomb for two. Punk almost Hulks Up and says its time to Go To Sleep. He loads it up but Cena grabs the rope and clotheslines him on it.
The top rope legdrop hits this time but it only gets two. These kickouts are incredible. Theyre not going to end the match but theyve built it up so well and the audience being so into them is making up the difference. Cena is getting his 19th wind and looks like he wants the AA. It hits clean again and PUNK KICKS OUT. Cena tries an AA off the middle rope but Punk fights out of it.
He manages to get a top rope hurricanrana but Cena goes to the corner to escape. Corner knee sets up the GTS and Cole is scared to death. The knee only hits the ribs and Cena manages to fall out of the ring instead of being in pinning position. And heres Vince with Johnny Ace. The distraction lets Cena get the STF and Vince sends Johnny Ace to ring the bell. Cena hits the floor and blasts Ace, saying he doesnt want it that way. Vince and Cena have a staredown in the aisle and Cena says its my way. He charges back into the ring and theres the GTS and PUNK WINS!
Vince jumps on commentary and says to kill the music. He wants Alberto out here NOW to cash in. Alberto runs out and Punk kicks him in the head almost immediately to take him down. Punk goes into the crowd and thats probably the safest place in the world for him. The bell didnt ring and Del Rio never cashed in officially.
Results
Daniel Bryan won the Smackdown Money in the Bank Briefcase
Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella K2
Mark Henry b. Big Show Splash
Alberto Del Rio won the Raw Money in the Bank Briefcase
Christian b. Randy Orton via DQ Orton kicks Christian low
CM Punk b. John Cena GTS
Quick Results
Raw
John Cena b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty AA to McGillicutty
Kelly Kelly b. Melina K2
Evan Bourne/Alex Riley/Kofi Kingston b. The Miz/R-Truth/Jack Swagger Inverted DDT to Swagger
Big Show vs. Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre went to a double countout
NXT
Derrick Bateman b. Titus ONeil and Darren Young Headlock into a mat slam to ONeil
Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyson Kidd Rollup
Impact
Bobby Roode b. Samoa Joe and DAngelo Dinero Roode pinned Joe while in the Koquina Clutch
Austin Aries b. Shannon Moore Slingshot spinning splash
Tara b. Madison Rayne Widows Peak
Mexican America b. British Invasion Anarquia pinned Magnus after a forearm from Hernandez
Sting b. Mr. Anderson Scorpion Death Drop
Smackdown
Ezekiel Jackson b. Ted DiBiase Torture Rack
Cody Rhodes b. Daniel Bryan Beautiful Disaster
Sin Cara b. Sheamus Hurricanrana into a pin
Kelly Kelly b. Rosa Mendes K2
Justin Gabriel b. Heath Slater 450 Splash
Kane b. Randy Orton via countout
Money in the Bank 2011
Daniel Bryan won the Smackdown Money in the Bank Briefcase
Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella K2
Mark Henry b. Big Show Splash
Alberto Del Rio won the Raw Money in the Bank Briefcase
Christian b. Randy Orton via DQ Orton kicks Christian low
CM Punk b. John Cena GTS