klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Tommy Dreamer is done with TNA.
Smackdown got a 1.8.
Monday Night Raw
Date: June 6, 2011
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Things are a little different tonight as its not only Raw but also the Tough Enough finale which is going to delay the start of the main show just a bit. Its time for more build to Capitol Punishment as well likely get fallout from last weeks Cena vs. Truth match, probably building to a rematch at the PPV. Other than that there isnt much known already. Lets get to it.
After Andy won Tough Enough and got drilled by Vince (who said he would have picked the other guy) and Stunned by Austin in one of the weirdest welcome to the jobs youll ever see were ready to go.
The show opens with Austin and Vince in the ring having some beers to open the show, heres Truth in a Confederate Army uniform marching to the ring to the tune of When the Saints Come Marching In and singing about Little Jimmy marching in. We get a clip of last week where Truth threw soda on a fan. He apologizes to Big Jimmy and Little Jimmy and to the refreshing soda.
Truth doesnt like being in the south and says that the Confederacy didnt do anything right other than seceding from the Union. Tonight hes seceding from the WWE, but hes keeping the title shot. He talks about the conspiracy against him and asks Vince about it. Vince asks if Truths real first name is R and says he should come visit him during his office hours. Is this college all of a sudden?
Heres Miz, saying he deserves a final title shot. Riley comes out and doesnt say much before Cena comes out also. Cena says that everyone here is out of or for something, be it Miz being out of opportunities for the title, Riley being out for vengeance, Austin being out of beer or Truth being out of his mind. Cena respects Riley and tells Truth to get rid of the uniform because he already has his PPV title shot. We get an E-Mail but Vince cuts him off, saying that its Cena/Riley vs. Miz/Truth with Austin as referee. Absolutely hilarious opening segment, namely due to Truth being insane.
Santino Marella vs. Michael McGillicutty
Neither guy gets an intro here. McGillicutty yells at the crowd to zero reaction but Santino gets a nice pop. Marella sends him into the corners and knocks him over the top with a clothesline. He actually channels the Warrior with the rope shake and the gorilla press sign. Cobra doesnt work and McGillicutty takes over a bit. Santino fires back and hits the saluting headbutt so he can do the Warrior press sign again. Vlad runs over Otunga and the McGillicutter misses. Cobra ends this clean at 4:35.
Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix vs. Bella Twins
Hokey smoke two matches with no commercials? When do you EVER see this? Well close enough at least as they go to commercial before the Bellas entrances. Nice idea though. After the break we get a clip of the Bellas making fun of Kharma for being pregnant. Kelly starts as Cole talks about the Bellas Twitter. Kelly gets beaten down by both twins while Beth plays cheerleader.
Off to the bow and arrow hold. Jerry calls Kelly the milk to his cookies. I really dont want to think about Lawlers cookies. Off to Beth who cleans house on lets say Brie. We go way old school with a Tully Blanchard slingshot suplex for two. Everything breaks down and theres the Glam Slam for the pin at 2:26. Good to see them making Beth look like a monster again.
Booker and Trish are in the back and Booker offers to give Trish a secret move: the Trisharooni. He starts teaching her and Jack Swagger comes up to challenge Booker. He says cool and its on for tonight.
CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio
Didnt we see this last week? Punk sits down on the stage and says that this next match is to prove that Nexus is still strong. The match starts next. Here we go and Punk tries a big kick to start. Doesnt actually connect but it looked good. Off to the mat and Punk works on the wrist. Rey speeds things up but cant get an OConnor Roll. Monkey flip sends Punk to the floor and Rey adds a headscissors to take Punk down.
Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two. Punk fires back with his strikes but Rey escapes over the top. He goes up but gets kicked down into the Tree of Woe. Running knee to the exposed stomach gets two. Belly to back gets two and its off to a body scissors by Punk. Rey is sent spine first into the post and its time for a superplex. Rey knocks him off and hits I guess you would call it a flipping attack to take Punk down. He just kind of dove at him and rolled forward.
Rey starts his comeback and hits the springboard cross body for two. A headscissors takes Punk down but he grabs a powerslam out of nowhere for two. Ryan blocks the 619 so Rey gets a semi-botched but still good looking tornado DDT while kicking Ryan down to the floor at the same time. Top rope splash ends this at 8:40.
New presidential press conference video with Truth being insane. When you can almost save one of these things, thats a great sign.
Cena warns Riley to not cross him.
3 hour Raw next week and its WWE All Star Night.
Heres Alberto in a 1960 Rolls Royce. The word for Alberto right now is slander. People have been saying hes a hit and run coward. It was an accident though and heres the video to prove it. We see a clip of the accident and now Del Rio wants Show to come out so he can apologize. Here he comes .and its Ricardo in a bald wig on crutches. Theres food being eaten and a catchers mitt for a hand. Well they have the small bits down.
Alberto says hes pretending to be hurt to avoid paying for damages to his car. All Ricardo does is hold up his hand and growl. Del Rio offers candy and ice cream and chocolate in exchange for dropping the charges but then takes it back, saying Show deserved what happened to him. He warns Show not to make Alberto his enemy because Show will get hurt if he does so, because bad things happen to bad people.
Video on Kofi which more or less is him jumping a lot. Hes up next.
Kofi Kingston vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder, the apparent new internet darling, doesnt even get his own music as Dolph and Vickie are out there also for commentary. Non-title here and Cole calls Ryder Zack Ziggler. Kofi uses his basic stuff to start so Ryder gets in his face. Ryder avoids the jump in the corner and gets a neckbreaker for two. The announcers plug the Youtube show as Ryder gets a kick in the corner. Well at least I think he did because we cut back to Ziggler and Vickie every 8 seconds. Kofi starts his comeback and never mind as theres Trouble in Paradise and were done at 2:44. Just a quick match here and nothing of note.
Booker is up next.
Miz vs. Riley at the PPV.
Booker T vs. Jack Swagger
Booker grabs the arm to start and that gets him nowhere. He chops away but Swagger knocks him to the floor and we shift into a brawl. Swagger hammers on him for a bit until Booker gets a spinwheel kick out of the corner to take back over. Axe kick misses but a heel kick sends Jack to the floor again. And thats it as he just takes the countout at 3:14.
Bourne jumps Swagger in the aisle and Jack winds up taking an axe kick and the Shooting Star Press. Theres a double Spinarooni as well.
Alex Riley/John Cena vs. The Miz/R-Truth
Austin is referee remember. We get all four entrances but the bell is next. Back and its Miz vs. Cena to start. Riley gets tagged in about 20 seconds in and Miz runs to tag Truth. Truth does his usual stuff but Riley is able to tag in Cena. Just like Miz earlier, Truth runs for his partner so its back to Cena vs. Miz again. Cena LOUDLY calls for a bulldog and hits one on Miz so that the chase can be on.
Back to Truth vs. Riley with Truth taking his head off with a clothesline as we take a break. Back with Miz holding a chinlock on Riley. DDT gets two for Miz. Miz gets in Austins face and then misses a charge, sending his shoulder into the corner. Truth breaks up the tag and its off to the chinlock again. Truth does the always stupid looking jump off the middle rope into the boot of the other guy and its off to Cena.
John hits his usual stuff on Miz and sends Truth to the floor. Theres the STF but Miz doesnt tap. Truth brings in a chair, only to get dropkicked down almost immediately. Double clothesline and Cena and Miz are both down. Riley pops up behind Cena with the briefcase but pops Miz with it. A Stunner sets up the AA to end Miz at 10:43.
Post match the GM says Austin has overstepped his authority so were going to reverse the decision. Another E-Mail makes Austin guest GM next week. Cole gets covered in beer and takes a Stunner and AA to end the show.
Results
Santino Marella b. Michael McGillicutty Cobra
Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix b. Bella Twins Glam Slam to Nikki Bella
Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk Top rope splash
Kofi Kingston b. Zack Ryder Trouble in Paradise
Booker T b. Jack Swagger via countout
R-Truth/The Miz b. Alex Riley/John Cena via disqualification when Austin stunned Miz
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.2.
NXT
Date: June 7, 2011
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
I think were in week fourteen here, which means were a week shy of this being as long as any other season of this show. We have four people left so at least this is getting close to being done. Im not sure what else they can do with these four left because weve watched them fight time after time now. They had a new idea last week so maybe theyll surprise me. Lets get to it.
The opening video is about Maryse and how the guys on this season have been obsessed with her and fighting over her. The idea here is that Cannon has Maryse in his corner so he has an advantage. Good to see someone other than ONeil looking like they have a chance here.
JTG is in the ring here for a talk show segment apparently. Oh joy. Its called Straight Outta Brooklyn apparently. The guest is Yoshi Tatsu, because theyre the two pros whose rookies are gone. Apparently people blame Yoshi for Saxton being gone. They do the thing where Yoshi is asked questions and the mic is pulled away before he can answer. We talk about Maryse and how she dumped Yoshi because he has no game (JTG: I got more game than THQ.) Yoshi makes a Yo Mama joke because this is apparently the mid 90s. JTG jumps him as hes leaving, likely setting up a match later. Striker makes said match.
Yoshi Tatsu vs. JTG
The match is joined in progress. JTG hits a knee to the ribs for two and actually works on the ribs. Yoshi misses some chops and gets taken down again. JTG hits Jay Lethals Lethal Injection neckbreaker for two. Regal mentions that next week is an elimination. Thats a good sign at least. Yoshi fights up and strikes away, including a spinwheel kick to take JTG down. A big high kick misses though and JTG takes him down again. Yoshi fights back up and hits the aforementioned high kick to end this at 5:31 shown.
Capitol Punishment ad wastes even more time. The only good part here is that when Regal is woken up the first thing he says is I didnt know you were married. This guy saves this show week in and week out. When I say saves I mean he keeps it on the TV in the 5th circle of hell rather than the 9th.
HOKEY SMOKE ITS ONE OF THE ROOKIES!!! OBrian tries to break a board with his head .and hes talking to Horny who hurts his head trying to break a board. Titus and Vlad come up so ONeil picks up Horny and rams his head through the board. I hate my life. I truly do.
Chavo Guerrero/Darren Young vs. Vladimir Kozlov/Conor OBrian
I have a very bad feeling that theyre going to have OBrian sneak in the back and win this somehow. Hes the least interesting and the worst wrestler out of all these guys which means hes probably the favorite. First match between the rookies starts up over halfway into the show. I guess thats required though. Have to hit the JTG fanbase. Young and Vlad start us off with Kozlov taking him down to the mat almost immediately.
Off to the cure with insomnia with sideburns who gets two on Young. Chavo comes in and hammers away but thats too interesting so lets bring Young back in again. Chavo hits a slingshot hilo ala Eddie for two. Conor hits an elbow and we head to the floor, only for Chavo to beat Conor back in and hit a slingshot axe handle to take him down again. We take a quick break and come back with Young getting two on Conor.
Vlad finally gets the hot tag and gets double teamed because Conor thinks theres nothing wrong with letting him fight off two guys at once and losing any momentum they had. Some lunkhead fan tries to get a Vlad chant going and it completely fails. The pros come in so its at least borderline interesting. Off to Young again as they work on the back of Kozlov for awhile.
Neckbreaker takes Kozlov down for two. We hit the chinlock because someone thought giving these guys over ten minutes was a good idea. Front facelock wastes some more time. Double tags bring in both rookies as I think were finally getting close to the ending here. Flapjack takes Young down for two. Young gets up and hits his firemans carry into a backbreaker for the pin on OBrian at 12:10.
Titus ONeil vs. Lucky Cannon
Maryse is with Cannon as are both pros. Maryse has a big purse with her which apparently cost $3,500. Its a bag. You put stuff in it. HOW CAN THAT COST THIRTY FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS??? The stupid thing is there are bags that cost that much so its not even a wrestling overstatement. Lucky takes over to start and pounds away. Off to a chinlock as were running out of time here.
Lucky actually covers him after some stomps. When do you ever see that? Back to the chinlock again which eats up some clock. Titus hammers back but gets sent to the floor. Its shenanigan time as Horny proposes to Maryse, giving her a candy bracelet. He tries to take her purse which is ripped in half. Not buying quality I guess. Cannon is distracted and turns into the Clash of the Titus to end this at 5:18.
Results
Yoshi Tatsu b. JTG Round kick to the head
Darren Young/Chavo Guerrero b. Vladimir Kozlov/Conor OBrian Backbreaker to OBrian
Titus ONeil b. Lucky Cannon Clash of the Titus
Wednesday
Nothing of note today.
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: June 9, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Its the go home show for Slammiversary and we have most of the card set up already. With Foley now fired and apparently legit gone from the company, it appears that Immortal is back in control again. Also were likely to get the final push to Sting vs. Anderson which will see Sting/Young vs. Anderson/Gunner. Anyway, lets get to it.
We open with a recap of last week of Foley being fired and Immortal having full power again. Hogan is looking extra orange here.
Hogan and Bischoff open the show. Hulk says that the Network finally woke up and got rid of the selfish Foley. Eric says that Foley did have a few good ideas such as the name of the show and that wrestling matters. Eric assures us that the X Division is going to be presented in a fair and balanced manner. First up though he wants the contenders in the world title match to come down here right now.
Here are Anderson and Sting. Hogan talks about how awesome this company is now. Theyre not going to go through this with the Network again. Hogan gave his word apparently and he meant it. At Slammiversary there will be a winner and a loser with no gimmicks or agendas. Also there will be no run-ins. If either guy has a problem with that speak now.
Anderson raises his hand and says that hes been making fun of Sting for weeks because everything Sting stands for is a joke. Anderson is in this for Anderson and on Sunday, hes getting the title back. Sting says hes got a lot hes going to do about that. There are a lot of things he wants to do around here and hes going to do them because hes champion. One of two things has to happen: Hogan and Bischoff have to leave or the real Hogan has to come back. He gets in Erics face and calls him an infection, blaming him for Hogan being the way he is. Hogan needs to cut away the cancer, and hes certainly capable of it.
Knockouts are up next.
Mickie James/Tara vs. Winter/Angelina Love
Can we just get to the lesbian stuff already? Tara has the motorcycle back. Tara and Winter start us off. Angelina doesnt seem interested in tagging in so Mickie and Tara work on the arm. I guess Mickie is all cool about the whole Tara running her over a few months back thing. Off to Angelina who wants Mickie. Tara instead hits a spinning side slam and its off to Mickie. They hit a wheelbarrow splash for one as Angelina does her zombie thing again.
With Tara accidently distracting the referee, Winter is able to get a powerbomb in the corner on Mickie for two. The zombie chicks take over on Mickie now as she plays Ricky Morton for a bit. Mickie hammers back and that gets her nowhere. Blind tag brings in Angelina but Mickie hits a dropkick to take her down. Everything breaks down and Madison comes down to distract Tara, allowing Angelina to hit her backbreaker on Mickie for the pin at 4:45.
Beer Money and Shelley are ready for their match tonight and on Sunday.
Mexican America says theyre tired of getting less every time.
We get a video of Samoa Joe and Crimson fighting in a bar which is filmed via phone apparently. Joe beats the tar out of him.
Jeff Jarrett gets here and doesnt want to talk about Karen so he walks off.
The Brits are on commentary here. Well at least Magnus is as Williams stands behind the desk.
Mexican America vs. Alex Shelley/James Storm
Anarquia and Shelley start us off. The champions I guess do some of the Guns offense which Storm modifies for his own style. I like that as it plays up the best of both world dynamics. Shelley gets caught coming off the top and Hernandez hits his slingshot shoulder to take Shelley down. We keep cutting to Magnus talking so its hard to see everything thats going on.
Shelley tries to fight back but gets caught by the power of Hernandez. Slam sets up a missed splash off the top by Supermex and theres the tag to Storm and one to Anarquia also. Everything breaks down and Hernandez is knocked to the floor. Storm has Anarquia covered but the girls distract the referee. Sarita gets beer to the face and Shelley kicks Storm in the face, allowing Anarquia to get the pin on Storm at 4:30.
Gunner comes in to see Anderson and Anderson asks for help against Sting, implying hell repay the favor later. Theyre cool apparently.
Mexican America comes in to see Hogan and wants a title shot. Hogan gets all ticked off and says quit telling me what to do or hell turn into the Terminator and play a game of Hulkster Says with the ladies. Mexican America is going to do something when Hogan least expects it. Ok then.
Preview of Angle/Jarrett with the main focus being on Angle. He says hes not worried about this Sunday and says that he can beat Jarrett this time because there will be no Karen to distract him.
We open the second hour with more talking of course, this time in the form of Jarrett and Angle. Jeff says Kurt is going to listen tonight rather than it being them going back and forth. Karen is gone apparently and wont be at the PPV. Jeff has had to think about that for seven days now and the first thing he did was panic. He panicked over what Kurt will do to him when its one on one. Jeff reminds everyone that he brought Kurt in and Kurt is the best in history.
However, Kurt never thanked Jeff for bringing him in. Kurt wasnt happy about being the best in the company and the real star. It was always about making people forget about Jeff. Then Jarrett wanted to take everything dear to Kurt, so he took his wife and kids. Now he wants to take away Kurts place on top and he wont sleep until he owns it.
Kurt finally gets to talk and thanks Jeff for taking Karen out of his life for good. All hes ever wanted was Jeff one on one but Jeff had to keep bringing Karen into it. Kurt isnt wasting any more words on him because on Sunday, his wrestling will do the talking. Then Jeff will see how real this really is.
ODB doesnt like how Velvet presents herself and ODB will how Velvet what wrestling is tonight.
Kaz and Kendrick have Janice and are looking for Abyss. Kendrick says Abyss is his type of guy. They say theyre going to go find him.
Bully Ray is here for an open challenge. On Sunday hell be the last man standing because hes a man. I wonder if hes 40. The challenge is for everyone other than D-Von. Heres a surprising person to take it.
Rob Van Dam vs. Bully Ray
RVD does his poses and gets powerbombed out of the corner for two. All Ray so far as he uses his basic brawling stuff. RVD finally gets in a kick to send Ray into the corner. Monkey flip doesnt work and Ray hammers away again. AJ is chilling in the stands watching this. Ray hasnt seen him yet but he does now. The distraction lets RVD recover long enough to counter the Piledriver. Springboard kick sets up the Five Star and were done at 3:30.
We get a clip from English TV of Angle trying to get back on the Olympic team.
Kendrick and Kaz are still looking for Abyss and they actually find him reading The Art of War again. Abyss talks about how he doesnt need Janice anymore and calls the X Title the Extreme Title. There can be a three way at the PPV. Kendrick gets into a big philosophical rant and Kaz just leaves.
We run down the card for Slammiversary.
ODB vs. Velvet Sky
ODB isnt under contract apparently so she comes out next to the broadcast table. Sky jumps her before the bell and the brawl begins. Velvet is sent into the steps and hurts her knee as we finally head into the ring and start the actual match. ODB covers immediately but only gets two. This is a sloppy brawl and barely even a match at all.
Velvet cant get going due to the knee injury but has a chance to breathe due to ODB yelling at the referee. She argues even more and Velvet cant do anything. The announcers make stupid jokes and we get more arguing with the referee. Velvet finally wakes up and stomps away in the corner. Out to the floor again and Velvet gets her back rammed into the post. Fall away slam sets up more yelling and Velvet grabs a DDT for the surprise pin at 5:12.
Eric Young is all stupid again and talks about unifying the titles and Whos The Boss before Sting yells at him again. He wants him to drop the comedy for one night and let the competitor come out.
We get a clip from Xplosion where D-Von and Pope have been having issues. Pope came out to save D-Von from Mexican America. D-Von doesnt like Pope being around his kids and wife.
And now lets have our main event.
Gunner/Mr. Anderson vs. Sting/Eric Young
Big match intros kill some time. The slow bell for this makes me chuckle for some reason. Sting vs. Anderson to start but we get the traditional fast tag from Anderson to bring in Gunner. Sting gets the splash in the corner very quickly and adds a second one, both of them to the back. Apparently the second was because a spot was messed up as after the first Sting intentionally turned his back to Anderson. He did it again the second time in the same spot and Anderson drilled him.
Anderson works over Sting in the corner now and its off to Gunner again. He works on the ribs with an abdominal stretch and heres Anderson again. Sting gets a clothesline and its off to Eric who cleans a few rooms, adding a big top rope elbow to Gunner. He fakes blowing mist at Anderson but celebrates too much and is rammed into Sting. That counts as a tag somehow and Gunner hits the F5 on Sting for the pin at 6:00. Oh and Young celebrates on the floor.
Back and Young doesnt get that they lost. Sting is mad.
AJ says the plan is coming together. Ray pops up and says he didnt back away. Agents break it up.
Sting gets something out of his bag and Anderson talks about how he didnt break a sweat. Sting comes up and Anderson runs. They go into a trailer and Sting beats him down then puts paint all over Anderson's face. This is Sting snapping I guess. He chokes Anderson out to end the show.
Results
Angelina Love/Winter b. Mickie James/Tara Backbreaker to James
Mexican America b. Alex Shelley/James Storm Anarquia pinned Storm after a superkick from Shelley
Rob Van Dam b. Bully Ray Five Star Frog Splash
Velvet Sky b. ODB DDT
Gunner/Mr. Anderson b. Sting/Eric Young F5 to Sting
Tommy Dreamer is done with TNA.
Smackdown got a 1.8.
Monday Night Raw
Date: June 6, 2011
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Things are a little different tonight as its not only Raw but also the Tough Enough finale which is going to delay the start of the main show just a bit. Its time for more build to Capitol Punishment as well likely get fallout from last weeks Cena vs. Truth match, probably building to a rematch at the PPV. Other than that there isnt much known already. Lets get to it.
After Andy won Tough Enough and got drilled by Vince (who said he would have picked the other guy) and Stunned by Austin in one of the weirdest welcome to the jobs youll ever see were ready to go.
The show opens with Austin and Vince in the ring having some beers to open the show, heres Truth in a Confederate Army uniform marching to the ring to the tune of When the Saints Come Marching In and singing about Little Jimmy marching in. We get a clip of last week where Truth threw soda on a fan. He apologizes to Big Jimmy and Little Jimmy and to the refreshing soda.
Truth doesnt like being in the south and says that the Confederacy didnt do anything right other than seceding from the Union. Tonight hes seceding from the WWE, but hes keeping the title shot. He talks about the conspiracy against him and asks Vince about it. Vince asks if Truths real first name is R and says he should come visit him during his office hours. Is this college all of a sudden?
Heres Miz, saying he deserves a final title shot. Riley comes out and doesnt say much before Cena comes out also. Cena says that everyone here is out of or for something, be it Miz being out of opportunities for the title, Riley being out for vengeance, Austin being out of beer or Truth being out of his mind. Cena respects Riley and tells Truth to get rid of the uniform because he already has his PPV title shot. We get an E-Mail but Vince cuts him off, saying that its Cena/Riley vs. Miz/Truth with Austin as referee. Absolutely hilarious opening segment, namely due to Truth being insane.
Santino Marella vs. Michael McGillicutty
Neither guy gets an intro here. McGillicutty yells at the crowd to zero reaction but Santino gets a nice pop. Marella sends him into the corners and knocks him over the top with a clothesline. He actually channels the Warrior with the rope shake and the gorilla press sign. Cobra doesnt work and McGillicutty takes over a bit. Santino fires back and hits the saluting headbutt so he can do the Warrior press sign again. Vlad runs over Otunga and the McGillicutter misses. Cobra ends this clean at 4:35.
Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix vs. Bella Twins
Hokey smoke two matches with no commercials? When do you EVER see this? Well close enough at least as they go to commercial before the Bellas entrances. Nice idea though. After the break we get a clip of the Bellas making fun of Kharma for being pregnant. Kelly starts as Cole talks about the Bellas Twitter. Kelly gets beaten down by both twins while Beth plays cheerleader.
Off to the bow and arrow hold. Jerry calls Kelly the milk to his cookies. I really dont want to think about Lawlers cookies. Off to Beth who cleans house on lets say Brie. We go way old school with a Tully Blanchard slingshot suplex for two. Everything breaks down and theres the Glam Slam for the pin at 2:26. Good to see them making Beth look like a monster again.
Booker and Trish are in the back and Booker offers to give Trish a secret move: the Trisharooni. He starts teaching her and Jack Swagger comes up to challenge Booker. He says cool and its on for tonight.
CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio
Didnt we see this last week? Punk sits down on the stage and says that this next match is to prove that Nexus is still strong. The match starts next. Here we go and Punk tries a big kick to start. Doesnt actually connect but it looked good. Off to the mat and Punk works on the wrist. Rey speeds things up but cant get an OConnor Roll. Monkey flip sends Punk to the floor and Rey adds a headscissors to take Punk down.
Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two. Punk fires back with his strikes but Rey escapes over the top. He goes up but gets kicked down into the Tree of Woe. Running knee to the exposed stomach gets two. Belly to back gets two and its off to a body scissors by Punk. Rey is sent spine first into the post and its time for a superplex. Rey knocks him off and hits I guess you would call it a flipping attack to take Punk down. He just kind of dove at him and rolled forward.
Rey starts his comeback and hits the springboard cross body for two. A headscissors takes Punk down but he grabs a powerslam out of nowhere for two. Ryan blocks the 619 so Rey gets a semi-botched but still good looking tornado DDT while kicking Ryan down to the floor at the same time. Top rope splash ends this at 8:40.
New presidential press conference video with Truth being insane. When you can almost save one of these things, thats a great sign.
Cena warns Riley to not cross him.
3 hour Raw next week and its WWE All Star Night.
Heres Alberto in a 1960 Rolls Royce. The word for Alberto right now is slander. People have been saying hes a hit and run coward. It was an accident though and heres the video to prove it. We see a clip of the accident and now Del Rio wants Show to come out so he can apologize. Here he comes .and its Ricardo in a bald wig on crutches. Theres food being eaten and a catchers mitt for a hand. Well they have the small bits down.
Alberto says hes pretending to be hurt to avoid paying for damages to his car. All Ricardo does is hold up his hand and growl. Del Rio offers candy and ice cream and chocolate in exchange for dropping the charges but then takes it back, saying Show deserved what happened to him. He warns Show not to make Alberto his enemy because Show will get hurt if he does so, because bad things happen to bad people.
Video on Kofi which more or less is him jumping a lot. Hes up next.
Kofi Kingston vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder, the apparent new internet darling, doesnt even get his own music as Dolph and Vickie are out there also for commentary. Non-title here and Cole calls Ryder Zack Ziggler. Kofi uses his basic stuff to start so Ryder gets in his face. Ryder avoids the jump in the corner and gets a neckbreaker for two. The announcers plug the Youtube show as Ryder gets a kick in the corner. Well at least I think he did because we cut back to Ziggler and Vickie every 8 seconds. Kofi starts his comeback and never mind as theres Trouble in Paradise and were done at 2:44. Just a quick match here and nothing of note.
Booker is up next.
Miz vs. Riley at the PPV.
Booker T vs. Jack Swagger
Booker grabs the arm to start and that gets him nowhere. He chops away but Swagger knocks him to the floor and we shift into a brawl. Swagger hammers on him for a bit until Booker gets a spinwheel kick out of the corner to take back over. Axe kick misses but a heel kick sends Jack to the floor again. And thats it as he just takes the countout at 3:14.
Bourne jumps Swagger in the aisle and Jack winds up taking an axe kick and the Shooting Star Press. Theres a double Spinarooni as well.
Alex Riley/John Cena vs. The Miz/R-Truth
Austin is referee remember. We get all four entrances but the bell is next. Back and its Miz vs. Cena to start. Riley gets tagged in about 20 seconds in and Miz runs to tag Truth. Truth does his usual stuff but Riley is able to tag in Cena. Just like Miz earlier, Truth runs for his partner so its back to Cena vs. Miz again. Cena LOUDLY calls for a bulldog and hits one on Miz so that the chase can be on.
Back to Truth vs. Riley with Truth taking his head off with a clothesline as we take a break. Back with Miz holding a chinlock on Riley. DDT gets two for Miz. Miz gets in Austins face and then misses a charge, sending his shoulder into the corner. Truth breaks up the tag and its off to the chinlock again. Truth does the always stupid looking jump off the middle rope into the boot of the other guy and its off to Cena.
John hits his usual stuff on Miz and sends Truth to the floor. Theres the STF but Miz doesnt tap. Truth brings in a chair, only to get dropkicked down almost immediately. Double clothesline and Cena and Miz are both down. Riley pops up behind Cena with the briefcase but pops Miz with it. A Stunner sets up the AA to end Miz at 10:43.
Post match the GM says Austin has overstepped his authority so were going to reverse the decision. Another E-Mail makes Austin guest GM next week. Cole gets covered in beer and takes a Stunner and AA to end the show.
Results
Santino Marella b. Michael McGillicutty Cobra
Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix b. Bella Twins Glam Slam to Nikki Bella
Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk Top rope splash
Kofi Kingston b. Zack Ryder Trouble in Paradise
Booker T b. Jack Swagger via countout
R-Truth/The Miz b. Alex Riley/John Cena via disqualification when Austin stunned Miz
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.2.
NXT
Date: June 7, 2011
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
I think were in week fourteen here, which means were a week shy of this being as long as any other season of this show. We have four people left so at least this is getting close to being done. Im not sure what else they can do with these four left because weve watched them fight time after time now. They had a new idea last week so maybe theyll surprise me. Lets get to it.
The opening video is about Maryse and how the guys on this season have been obsessed with her and fighting over her. The idea here is that Cannon has Maryse in his corner so he has an advantage. Good to see someone other than ONeil looking like they have a chance here.
JTG is in the ring here for a talk show segment apparently. Oh joy. Its called Straight Outta Brooklyn apparently. The guest is Yoshi Tatsu, because theyre the two pros whose rookies are gone. Apparently people blame Yoshi for Saxton being gone. They do the thing where Yoshi is asked questions and the mic is pulled away before he can answer. We talk about Maryse and how she dumped Yoshi because he has no game (JTG: I got more game than THQ.) Yoshi makes a Yo Mama joke because this is apparently the mid 90s. JTG jumps him as hes leaving, likely setting up a match later. Striker makes said match.
Yoshi Tatsu vs. JTG
The match is joined in progress. JTG hits a knee to the ribs for two and actually works on the ribs. Yoshi misses some chops and gets taken down again. JTG hits Jay Lethals Lethal Injection neckbreaker for two. Regal mentions that next week is an elimination. Thats a good sign at least. Yoshi fights up and strikes away, including a spinwheel kick to take JTG down. A big high kick misses though and JTG takes him down again. Yoshi fights back up and hits the aforementioned high kick to end this at 5:31 shown.
Capitol Punishment ad wastes even more time. The only good part here is that when Regal is woken up the first thing he says is I didnt know you were married. This guy saves this show week in and week out. When I say saves I mean he keeps it on the TV in the 5th circle of hell rather than the 9th.
HOKEY SMOKE ITS ONE OF THE ROOKIES!!! OBrian tries to break a board with his head .and hes talking to Horny who hurts his head trying to break a board. Titus and Vlad come up so ONeil picks up Horny and rams his head through the board. I hate my life. I truly do.
Chavo Guerrero/Darren Young vs. Vladimir Kozlov/Conor OBrian
I have a very bad feeling that theyre going to have OBrian sneak in the back and win this somehow. Hes the least interesting and the worst wrestler out of all these guys which means hes probably the favorite. First match between the rookies starts up over halfway into the show. I guess thats required though. Have to hit the JTG fanbase. Young and Vlad start us off with Kozlov taking him down to the mat almost immediately.
Off to the cure with insomnia with sideburns who gets two on Young. Chavo comes in and hammers away but thats too interesting so lets bring Young back in again. Chavo hits a slingshot hilo ala Eddie for two. Conor hits an elbow and we head to the floor, only for Chavo to beat Conor back in and hit a slingshot axe handle to take him down again. We take a quick break and come back with Young getting two on Conor.
Vlad finally gets the hot tag and gets double teamed because Conor thinks theres nothing wrong with letting him fight off two guys at once and losing any momentum they had. Some lunkhead fan tries to get a Vlad chant going and it completely fails. The pros come in so its at least borderline interesting. Off to Young again as they work on the back of Kozlov for awhile.
Neckbreaker takes Kozlov down for two. We hit the chinlock because someone thought giving these guys over ten minutes was a good idea. Front facelock wastes some more time. Double tags bring in both rookies as I think were finally getting close to the ending here. Flapjack takes Young down for two. Young gets up and hits his firemans carry into a backbreaker for the pin on OBrian at 12:10.
Titus ONeil vs. Lucky Cannon
Maryse is with Cannon as are both pros. Maryse has a big purse with her which apparently cost $3,500. Its a bag. You put stuff in it. HOW CAN THAT COST THIRTY FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS??? The stupid thing is there are bags that cost that much so its not even a wrestling overstatement. Lucky takes over to start and pounds away. Off to a chinlock as were running out of time here.
Lucky actually covers him after some stomps. When do you ever see that? Back to the chinlock again which eats up some clock. Titus hammers back but gets sent to the floor. Its shenanigan time as Horny proposes to Maryse, giving her a candy bracelet. He tries to take her purse which is ripped in half. Not buying quality I guess. Cannon is distracted and turns into the Clash of the Titus to end this at 5:18.
Results
Yoshi Tatsu b. JTG Round kick to the head
Darren Young/Chavo Guerrero b. Vladimir Kozlov/Conor OBrian Backbreaker to OBrian
Titus ONeil b. Lucky Cannon Clash of the Titus
Wednesday
Nothing of note today.
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: June 9, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Its the go home show for Slammiversary and we have most of the card set up already. With Foley now fired and apparently legit gone from the company, it appears that Immortal is back in control again. Also were likely to get the final push to Sting vs. Anderson which will see Sting/Young vs. Anderson/Gunner. Anyway, lets get to it.
We open with a recap of last week of Foley being fired and Immortal having full power again. Hogan is looking extra orange here.
Hogan and Bischoff open the show. Hulk says that the Network finally woke up and got rid of the selfish Foley. Eric says that Foley did have a few good ideas such as the name of the show and that wrestling matters. Eric assures us that the X Division is going to be presented in a fair and balanced manner. First up though he wants the contenders in the world title match to come down here right now.
Here are Anderson and Sting. Hogan talks about how awesome this company is now. Theyre not going to go through this with the Network again. Hogan gave his word apparently and he meant it. At Slammiversary there will be a winner and a loser with no gimmicks or agendas. Also there will be no run-ins. If either guy has a problem with that speak now.
Anderson raises his hand and says that hes been making fun of Sting for weeks because everything Sting stands for is a joke. Anderson is in this for Anderson and on Sunday, hes getting the title back. Sting says hes got a lot hes going to do about that. There are a lot of things he wants to do around here and hes going to do them because hes champion. One of two things has to happen: Hogan and Bischoff have to leave or the real Hogan has to come back. He gets in Erics face and calls him an infection, blaming him for Hogan being the way he is. Hogan needs to cut away the cancer, and hes certainly capable of it.
Knockouts are up next.
Mickie James/Tara vs. Winter/Angelina Love
Can we just get to the lesbian stuff already? Tara has the motorcycle back. Tara and Winter start us off. Angelina doesnt seem interested in tagging in so Mickie and Tara work on the arm. I guess Mickie is all cool about the whole Tara running her over a few months back thing. Off to Angelina who wants Mickie. Tara instead hits a spinning side slam and its off to Mickie. They hit a wheelbarrow splash for one as Angelina does her zombie thing again.
With Tara accidently distracting the referee, Winter is able to get a powerbomb in the corner on Mickie for two. The zombie chicks take over on Mickie now as she plays Ricky Morton for a bit. Mickie hammers back and that gets her nowhere. Blind tag brings in Angelina but Mickie hits a dropkick to take her down. Everything breaks down and Madison comes down to distract Tara, allowing Angelina to hit her backbreaker on Mickie for the pin at 4:45.
Beer Money and Shelley are ready for their match tonight and on Sunday.
Mexican America says theyre tired of getting less every time.
We get a video of Samoa Joe and Crimson fighting in a bar which is filmed via phone apparently. Joe beats the tar out of him.
Jeff Jarrett gets here and doesnt want to talk about Karen so he walks off.
The Brits are on commentary here. Well at least Magnus is as Williams stands behind the desk.
Mexican America vs. Alex Shelley/James Storm
Anarquia and Shelley start us off. The champions I guess do some of the Guns offense which Storm modifies for his own style. I like that as it plays up the best of both world dynamics. Shelley gets caught coming off the top and Hernandez hits his slingshot shoulder to take Shelley down. We keep cutting to Magnus talking so its hard to see everything thats going on.
Shelley tries to fight back but gets caught by the power of Hernandez. Slam sets up a missed splash off the top by Supermex and theres the tag to Storm and one to Anarquia also. Everything breaks down and Hernandez is knocked to the floor. Storm has Anarquia covered but the girls distract the referee. Sarita gets beer to the face and Shelley kicks Storm in the face, allowing Anarquia to get the pin on Storm at 4:30.
Gunner comes in to see Anderson and Anderson asks for help against Sting, implying hell repay the favor later. Theyre cool apparently.
Mexican America comes in to see Hogan and wants a title shot. Hogan gets all ticked off and says quit telling me what to do or hell turn into the Terminator and play a game of Hulkster Says with the ladies. Mexican America is going to do something when Hogan least expects it. Ok then.
Preview of Angle/Jarrett with the main focus being on Angle. He says hes not worried about this Sunday and says that he can beat Jarrett this time because there will be no Karen to distract him.
We open the second hour with more talking of course, this time in the form of Jarrett and Angle. Jeff says Kurt is going to listen tonight rather than it being them going back and forth. Karen is gone apparently and wont be at the PPV. Jeff has had to think about that for seven days now and the first thing he did was panic. He panicked over what Kurt will do to him when its one on one. Jeff reminds everyone that he brought Kurt in and Kurt is the best in history.
However, Kurt never thanked Jeff for bringing him in. Kurt wasnt happy about being the best in the company and the real star. It was always about making people forget about Jeff. Then Jarrett wanted to take everything dear to Kurt, so he took his wife and kids. Now he wants to take away Kurts place on top and he wont sleep until he owns it.
Kurt finally gets to talk and thanks Jeff for taking Karen out of his life for good. All hes ever wanted was Jeff one on one but Jeff had to keep bringing Karen into it. Kurt isnt wasting any more words on him because on Sunday, his wrestling will do the talking. Then Jeff will see how real this really is.
ODB doesnt like how Velvet presents herself and ODB will how Velvet what wrestling is tonight.
Kaz and Kendrick have Janice and are looking for Abyss. Kendrick says Abyss is his type of guy. They say theyre going to go find him.
Bully Ray is here for an open challenge. On Sunday hell be the last man standing because hes a man. I wonder if hes 40. The challenge is for everyone other than D-Von. Heres a surprising person to take it.
Rob Van Dam vs. Bully Ray
RVD does his poses and gets powerbombed out of the corner for two. All Ray so far as he uses his basic brawling stuff. RVD finally gets in a kick to send Ray into the corner. Monkey flip doesnt work and Ray hammers away again. AJ is chilling in the stands watching this. Ray hasnt seen him yet but he does now. The distraction lets RVD recover long enough to counter the Piledriver. Springboard kick sets up the Five Star and were done at 3:30.
We get a clip from English TV of Angle trying to get back on the Olympic team.
Kendrick and Kaz are still looking for Abyss and they actually find him reading The Art of War again. Abyss talks about how he doesnt need Janice anymore and calls the X Title the Extreme Title. There can be a three way at the PPV. Kendrick gets into a big philosophical rant and Kaz just leaves.
We run down the card for Slammiversary.
ODB vs. Velvet Sky
ODB isnt under contract apparently so she comes out next to the broadcast table. Sky jumps her before the bell and the brawl begins. Velvet is sent into the steps and hurts her knee as we finally head into the ring and start the actual match. ODB covers immediately but only gets two. This is a sloppy brawl and barely even a match at all.
Velvet cant get going due to the knee injury but has a chance to breathe due to ODB yelling at the referee. She argues even more and Velvet cant do anything. The announcers make stupid jokes and we get more arguing with the referee. Velvet finally wakes up and stomps away in the corner. Out to the floor again and Velvet gets her back rammed into the post. Fall away slam sets up more yelling and Velvet grabs a DDT for the surprise pin at 5:12.
Eric Young is all stupid again and talks about unifying the titles and Whos The Boss before Sting yells at him again. He wants him to drop the comedy for one night and let the competitor come out.
We get a clip from Xplosion where D-Von and Pope have been having issues. Pope came out to save D-Von from Mexican America. D-Von doesnt like Pope being around his kids and wife.
And now lets have our main event.
Gunner/Mr. Anderson vs. Sting/Eric Young
Big match intros kill some time. The slow bell for this makes me chuckle for some reason. Sting vs. Anderson to start but we get the traditional fast tag from Anderson to bring in Gunner. Sting gets the splash in the corner very quickly and adds a second one, both of them to the back. Apparently the second was because a spot was messed up as after the first Sting intentionally turned his back to Anderson. He did it again the second time in the same spot and Anderson drilled him.
Anderson works over Sting in the corner now and its off to Gunner again. He works on the ribs with an abdominal stretch and heres Anderson again. Sting gets a clothesline and its off to Eric who cleans a few rooms, adding a big top rope elbow to Gunner. He fakes blowing mist at Anderson but celebrates too much and is rammed into Sting. That counts as a tag somehow and Gunner hits the F5 on Sting for the pin at 6:00. Oh and Young celebrates on the floor.
Back and Young doesnt get that they lost. Sting is mad.
AJ says the plan is coming together. Ray pops up and says he didnt back away. Agents break it up.
Sting gets something out of his bag and Anderson talks about how he didnt break a sweat. Sting comes up and Anderson runs. They go into a trailer and Sting beats him down then puts paint all over Anderson's face. This is Sting snapping I guess. He chokes Anderson out to end the show.
Results
Angelina Love/Winter b. Mickie James/Tara Backbreaker to James
Mexican America b. Alex Shelley/James Storm Anarquia pinned Storm after a superkick from Shelley
Rob Van Dam b. Bully Ray Five Star Frog Splash
Velvet Sky b. ODB DDT
Gunner/Mr. Anderson b. Sting/Eric Young F5 to Sting