klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 9, 2016
Location: CenturyLink Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
Things are still on a bit of a roll in WWE as we're getting closer and closer to Extreme Rules in thirteen days. Last week saw Roman Reigns and the Usos trade six man tag team wins against AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows but it's not clear how closely affiliated Styles is with his New Japan buddies. Let's get to it.
We open with a long recap of the six man tag and post match issues with Styles refusing to hit Reigns with a chair and getting powerbombed through the announcers' table. The rematch on Smackdown isn't mentioned whatsoever, as is usually the case.
Tonight we'll see the same six man, albeit with elimination rules.
Here's Chris Jericho to kick things off with the Highlight Reel. Dean Ambrose was supposed to be his guest but he's still in the hospital. Jericho has a replacement though as he unveils the remains of Mitch the plant. They're not all that dissimilar because they're both in pieces and could be entertaining at times.
Jericho finds it amusing that the fans were more concerned about Mitch than Dean after last week. Ambrose has no value on his own but Jericho is the Haley's comet of WWE: a once in a lifetime talent so drink him in. This brings out Colin Cassady of all people to say that if this is the gift of Jericho, you better give him the receipt with it. Cass talks about the new era and says Jericho is standing in his way.
Jericho thinks Cass should go visit his buddy Enzo Annoying in the hospital but that's not cool with Cass, who wants to fight right now. Jericho tries to call himself the best in the world but Cass covers the microphone, leaving Jericho looking stunned. The jacket comes off but Jericho leaves. Cass calls him SAWFT to draw Jericho back in, earning himself a great looking boot to the face. This was a well done exchange, even though I can't imagine Cass pinning Jericho in a match.
Post break Jericho goes to Stephanie to say Shane is trying to ruin this new era (that's probably the eighth time they've used that word in about 22 minutes) but Stephanie likes everyone getting a new chance. Therefore tonight, Jericho is facing Big Cass (complete with Stephanie doing the catchphrases because this is the wacky, fun loving Stephanie) in the main event. Oh and Jericho should never, EVER, try to drive a wedge between Stephanie and her brother Shane again. I'm so glad she pointed out which brother it was in that totally natural way of speaking of hers.
Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler
Before the match, Corbin says he's the force in this new era. They start brawling early with Ziggler sending him outside and into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Ziggler caught in a chinlock before Corbin just lays in with heavy right hands. Corbin ducks his head though and eats a Fameasser for two. The Zig Zag is countered into a big old Deep Six for two but Corbin stops to pose too much. Ziggler tries the same rollup he beat Corbin with the first time out but Corbin kicks out and plants him with the End of Days for the pin at 8:28.
We look back at Stephanie making Charlotte vs. Natalya at Extreme Rules in a submission match with Ric Flair banned from ringside.
Charlotte and Ric Flair come in to see Shane, who they think should reverse Stephanie's decision. Shane thinks otherwise and bans Ric from ringside tonight as well.
Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows/AJ Styles regret not going after Reigns last week. Tonight the Club is back together.
Fandango vs. R-Truth
This is a preview match for Gorgeous Truth vs. Goldango on Smackdown. Of course it's a danceoff to start with Truth (complete with gold hair tips) doing a spinning bunny hop. Fandango dropkicks him down and dances, drawing Goldust up to the apron for some swiveling of his own. Breeze gets up as well but gets knocked right back down, setting up the Lie Detector for the pin at 2:11. You know, this is a stupid feud but I'll give them points for actually sticking with the thing. It's harmless enough so let them get a story told.
Miz, Cesaro and Kevin Owens are with the McMahons and Stephanie makes a triple threat match for the Intercontinental Title at Extreme Rules. Sami Zayn comes in to ask about making it a triple threat. He wants to be involved but Shane says he has to earn it, which he can by beating Miz tonight. Otherwise, Sami goes to the back of the line.
Paige vs. Charlotte
Non-title with Natalya on commentary. Paige quickly takes it to the floor and starts slugging away with forearms as Natalya talks about it being a beautiful day in Omaha. A big boot gets two for Charlotte, followed by some knees to the chest. Paige kicks her in the head for two more, followed by a good looking superplex for the same. Charlotte gets out of the PTO and grabs a rollup with her feet on the ropes, only to have Natalya break it up. Cue Ric Flair, allowing Charlotte to get in a backbreaker.....and here's Shane to interrupt. Referees get Flair out of there and Paige grabs a rollup for the pin at 7:45.
We look back at Cass and Jericho earlier.
Sami Zayn vs. The Miz
Non-title. Sami gets in some rollups for two early and headscissors Miz out to the floor. Miz bails to avoid the suicide dive and drives Sami's back into the barricade instead. The moonsault off the barricade takes Miz down, only to have Maryse yell a lot as we take a break. Back with Sami being sent hard into the steps and barely beating the count back in. Miz kicks him in the face and gets in the short DDT for two.
The Figure Four is broken up and Sami gets a near fall of his own off the Michinoku Driver. Now the Figure Four goes on but Sami dives over and makes the rope. A sunset flip is blocked as Miz grabs the ropes, only to have the referee break it up. The exploder suplex into the corner sets up the Helluva Kick for the most obvious pin in a long time to send Sami to Extreme Rules at 12:58.
Becky Lynch doesn't believe that the eye poke last week was an accident. Emma comes up to tell her that she really needs eyes in the back of her head. Cue the debuting Dana Brooke to lay Becky out and tell her that playtime is over.
We see Darren Young asking Bob Backlund to be his coach. As usual, Smackdown means nothing.
The Up Up Down Down crew shills Pizza Hut.
Zack Ryder is telling Shane that he knows he belongs when Kevin Owens comes in. Owens sums up the whole thing by asking Ryder why he exists. Shane's decision is to make Owens vs. Ryder for the spot in the Intercontinental Title match tonight.
Roman Reigns and the Usos are ready to get rid of Gallows/Anderson before Reigns takes Styles out on his own.
Sin Cara vs. Rusev
Rusev suplexes him down a few times, followed by a bearhug and a fall away slam. Cara's quick comeback goes a bit better than you would expect with Cara getting in a moonsault to send Rusev outside. A suicide dive looks to set up the Swanton but Rusev blasts him with a superkick. Lana starts yelling for no apparent reason, allowing Kalisto to kick Rusev in the head. Cara grabs a rollup for the pin upset at 3:45.
Greetings From Puerto Rico. I have no idea if this is ever going anywhere but it might be nice to do something with it already.
Roman Reigns/Usos vs. AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows
Elimination rules. Jey smacks Karl in the face to start and it's already off to Reigns, meaning the booing begins early. That goes nowhere so Jey powerslams Anderson for no cover, only to have Anderson get in an uppercut from the floor, allowing Anderson to roll Jey up with tights for the pin at 2:38. Now we get Reigns vs. Styles with a big shot sending AJ right back into the corner. It's already off to Gallows to run over Jimmy, who rolls the legal Anderson up for the pin at 4:35 total.
Back from a break with just Jimmy having been eliminated during the break. Reigns wastes no time and Superman Punches Gallows for the elimination at 9:35. It's down to one on one so AJ hits the strike rush and knocks Reigns out to the floor. That means it's time to load up the announcers' table but Reigns throws AJ across instead. This brings out Anderson with a chair to blast Reigns for the DQ at 11:43.
Post break everyone but Reigns and Styles fight to the back, leaving AJ to load up a Styles Clash on the chair. Reigns backdrops him to the apron though, leaving them in a staredown with the chair between them. Roman picks it up and throws it to AJ's feet. Styles tries the Forearm but Reigns grabs the chair, leaving AJ to bail to the floor.
Zack Ryder vs. Kevin Owens
The winner is in the Intercontinental Title match at Extreme Rules. Owens grabs a headlock to start (Owens: NO ONE BREAKS MY HEADLOCK!) before running Ryder over and dropping the backsplash. They head outside with Owens trying the apron powerbomb but getting backdropped instead. Back in and Owens blasts him in the back of the head with a clothesline but misses the Cannonball. Ryder takes him outside for the Broski Boot up against the barricade, followed by the top rope Elbro for two back inside. The Rough Ryder doesn't work and it's the Pop Up Powerbomb to end Ryder at 4:05.
Big Cass says he'll win tonight.
Here's New Day for a chat, complete with Kofi twirling some unicorn horns like nunchucks. They're not sure how to pronounce Vaudevillains but realize they're the opponents at Extreme Rules for the WWE World Tag Team Championships. We get some bowing down to the last piece of BootyO's before Big E. says the Vaudevillains are from an era that weren't kind to people like them. Woods looks nervous but Big E. says he's talking about smartphone users. Those are the kinds of phones you can use to call your Mammy and Pappy to tell them NEW DAY ROCKS.
New Day vs. Dudley Boyz
Non-title and joined in progress after a break with Bubba hammering on Kofi's face. Bubba even dances a bit before it's off to Big E. for a shoulder and the Warrior Splash. Kofi comes back in and eats D-Von's spinning elbow for two, only to have Big E. launch him onto D-Von in the corner for two. Everything breaks down for a bit until D-Von gets caught in the Unicorn Stampede. Cue the Vaudevillains to go after Woods though, leaving D-Von to hit one heck of a clothesline for the pin on Kofi at 5:10.
Kofi gets the Whirling Dervish post match.
Chris Jericho vs. Colin Cassady
During Jericho's entrance, someone attacks him and steals the jacket. For reasons of general stupidity, the announcers are stunned when it's Dean Ambrose. Dean rips up the jacket and Jericho is so scared that he can't come to the ring and save the thing. He finally charges now that the jacket is destroyed but gets beaten down for his efforts. Jericho gets in a shot to the face and grabs the jacket but runs into Cass on the floor. Cass feeds him into Dirty Deeds and Dean continues to destroy the jacket.
We're still not done though as Shane and Stephanie.....have nothing to say.
Jericho yells a lot to end the show.
Results
Baron Corbin b. Dolph Ziggler End of Days
R-Truth b. Fandango Lie Detector
Paige b. Charlotte Rollup
Sami Zayn b. The Miz Helluva Kick
Sin Cara b. Rusev Rollup
Roman Reigns/Usos b. AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows via DQ when Anderson hit Reigns with a chair
Kevin Owens b. Zack Ryder Pop Up Powerbomb
Dudley Boyz b. New Day Clothesline to Kingston
Tuesday
Impact Wrestling
Date: May 10, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D'Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
We're about a month away from Slammiversary and for the most part the show hasn't been brought up yet. Save for maybe a mention here or there, nothing yet has been announced. I'm sure you can figure out most of the card by this point though and things are ranging from interesting to not all that great. Let's get to it.
The announcers talk about Lashley being the new #1 contender to the World Title.
We recap last week's triple threat main event with Decay beating down Jeff Hardy so Lashley could get the win and the title shot.
Here's Jeff Hardy to get things going by calling out Decay. Cue the whole team with Abyss talking about how Jeff's devotion to the fans have made him weak. Steve says the same things so Jeff thinks the only way you can decay is when you die. And that's ok because I'm about to kill you.
Rosemary implies that they were paid off to take out Hardy (well someone has to pay for that face paint) and that person will reveal themselves at the right time (It's going to be Matt Hardy. Just save time and say it's Matt Hardy already. Everyone knows it's going to be Matt Hardy so just say it's Matt Hardy and get us to the TLC match they're going to have at Slammiversary, likely in the real main event.).
For now the brawl is on until James Storm comes out for the save. Abyss is willing to destroy both of them for free tonight. Jeff: Let's pretend I'm the weatherman. No Jeff, I don't want to pretend you're a weatherman. It's something about a charismatic storm after the break.
Tag Team Titles: Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Decay
Decay is defending and this is Storm's guaranteed rematch since Roode is gone. That goes nowhere so it's off to Storm for some clotheslines on Abyss before a Sling Blade gets two. Abyss drops Storm though and chokeslams Steve onto him for a near fall of his own. Storm raises a boot to stop a charging Steve and brings in Jeff for a Twist of Fate on Abyss. The Swanton is loaded up but the lights go out and Willow (Jeff's old character) appears on stage. Gee, I wonder who is under the mask. A double mist from Decay sets up the Black Hole Slam on Jeff to retain the titles at 6:15.
Remember how we looked at the triple threat match from last week? Well now we're going to do that again, for the second time in about twenty minutes.
Drew Galloway doesn't like Lashley.
Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis were at a Smashing Pumpkins concert last week and hung out with the band after the show.
Here's Galloway for a chat. Drew is sick of Lashley and wants him out here right now. Lashley comes out and we get the traditional exchange of respectful greetings. We hear about how Lashley got into Kurt Angle's head, which Drew says is Lashley's game. He'll try to get inside your head and then break you down physically, but Drew wants to fight tonight. Lashley says we can wait a week and leaves but Drew is going to fight tonight.
Cue Eli Drake to say it'll never be over between the two of them. Drake is here to win gold and he's going to win it all, even if he has to learn to do flips and win the Tag Team Titles on his own. Tonight though he'll take that World Title and it's time for a fight with a title match starting after a break.
TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Eli Drake
Drew is defending of course. Drake starts choking and drops a leg for two before they head outside with Drew firing off chops. Back in and the Future Shock is broken up so Drew settles for a snap powerslam for two. Drake tries to bring in the briefcase but the referee takes it away. Instead it's the Claymore to the face and the Future Shock to retain the title at 5:42.
Ethan Carter III wants a rematch with Mike Bennett and isn't leaving the ring until he gets it.
Jade and Gail Kim are in Maria's office and are going to be facing each other tonight. Maria wants a five star match like the ones that Davey M. guy is always talking about.
Here's Ethan Carter, who makes sure to soak in some of the cheers before getting to his point. For over two years he was unbreakable, unbendable and unbeatable but now he's just a man with a vendetta. Therefore, Bennett needs to fetch his wife and get out here to talk business. I'm sure there's a reason Maria changed outfits between segments. Maria loads up her name but Ethan dubs her Toots McGee and cuts her off.
Mike says he has a huge ego because he was the first man to beat the unbeatable. Ethan wants a rematch right now but apparently Maria has talked to Billy Corgan and there's a new idea. Apparently Mike has a challenge for Ethan in the form of a road to redemption. We'll start tonight inside Six Sides of Steel with Ethan facing.....someone.
We look back at Willow distracting Jeff Hardy earlier tonight.
Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Jade
Jade is defending and Sienna is at ringside. Gail takes it to the mat for an early headlock but Jade comes back with one of her own. A crucifix is countered but Gail counters the counter into an armdrag, followed by an exchange of hurricanranas. They shake hands until Jade gets in a German suplex for two. A cross armbreaker over the ropes has Gail in trouble but Kim sends her outside for a suicide dive. Sienna offers a distraction so Jade can get in a suicide dive of her own, only to have Sienna beat Jade down for the DQ at 5:30.
Sienna beats both of them down post match.
We go to Al Snow's Wrestling Academy with a trainer torturing a student, which is how things used to be. Snow rants about how this is now the exception because it's all about how the young guys get to come in and live their dreams without putting in any effort. Snow wants to be the Donald Trump of wrestling and make it great again, starting with Grado and Shera.
Ethan wants to know his opponent.
Al Snow vs. Mahabali Shera
Snow gets him into a chase around the ring before grabbing a wristlock back inside. They head outside with Snow pulling out a foreign object for a shot to the throat. Pope: The Shiek just texted me. That's only good for two so Snow chokes with wrist tape for two more. The fans chant for Grado as Snow hits the Snow Plow for two more. Cue Grado to break up another foreign object shot, allowing Shera to hit the Sky High for the pin at 5:27.
Jeff Hardy attacks Willow in the back and beats him down. After a break, Jeff is still at it until two more Willows attack him with the third giving him a Conchairto.
Video on Lashley vs. Galloway next week.
Ethan Carter III vs. ???
Inside a cage and the opponent is......Rockstar Spud. Carter hammers away to start and sends him into the cage a few times. Spud gets in a quick shot and chokes with his belt but he still can't get out. Back in (after Spud looks like he's being dragged under the bed in a slasher movie) and Carter keeps beating him up until Spud tries a fast climb. Carter is actually kicked off the cage and Spud drops a top rope elbow for two. The beating continues with Spud going into the cage over and over before gorilla pressing him off the top of the cage. The 1%er puts Spud away at 8:24.
Results
Decay b. Jeff Hardy/James Storm Black Hole Slam to Hardy
Drew Galloway b. Eli Drake Future Shock
Jade b. Gail Kim via DQ when Sienna interfered
Mahabali Shera b. Al Snow Sky High
Ethan Carter III b. Rockstar Spud 1%er
Wednesday
Christian has been released from his contract. This should have no bearing on the Edge and Christian Show.
NXT
Date: May 11, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
Finn Balor is back tonight and it's already time for him to go after his NXT Title again. Balor lost the belt a few weeks back at a house show to new champion Samoa Joe, meaning Finn's target should be obvious. Other than that it's time to really hit the gas on building towards the next Takeover which is scheduled for about a month from now. Let's get to it.
We open with a video on Finn Balor, talking about how the title is his obsession before the loss to Joe. I believe this aired last week as well. Balor may have lost the title but it's time to embrace the demon inside.
Here's Finn to open things up. After a THANK YOU FINN chant, Balor thanks the fans and talks about how the matches with Joe could have gone either way but he won the first two. Before he can talk about what happened in the third match, Elias Samson comes out to sing about Balor's masquerade being exposed. Samson says Finn is nothing without the title so Balor kicks him in the head to put Elias outside. The guitar goes flying but thankfully Samson makes the save. Jeff Jarrett is somewhere groaning at the guitar not being destroyed.
Last week, Eric Young called himself a world class maniac who is so glad to finally be here in NXT.
Balor wants Samson tonight.
American Alpha vs. Corey Hollis/John Skyler
Non-title. Chad takes Skyler to the mat to start and we get the Kurt Angle themed chant. Hollis comes in and gets headlocked down as well before we hit the seated armbar. It's off to Jordan who easily throws Hollis into the air for a face first crash onto the mat. A double hiptoss puts Hollis down and there's a double dropkick for Skyler as this is completely one sided so far.
Hollis finally realizes that he can cheat and the jobbers take over on Gable for the first time. Skyler drops a knee for two and we hit the chinlock. That works for all of five seconds before it's off to Jordan as house is cleaned. Cue the Revival on the ramp for a distraction but Grand Amplitude puts Hollis away at 5:10.
Shinsuke Nakamura is asked what he thinks about Alex Riley's rage. Nakamura starts shaking, like he has rage you see.
Alex Riley vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
Riley had been calling himself the white lion down in NXT, at least until he got released a few weeks after this. Riley goes right after him to start like he's a guy about to be released going after one of the top stars in the promotion. Nakamura misses a knee though and Riley hammers away, earning himself a string of knees and forearms to the ribs and face. The running knee in the corner sets up the inverted exploder suplex, followed by Kinshasa to put Riley away at 2:38.
Austin Aries is in William Regal's office to say he wants to prove he's the best. Blake and Murphy come in to talk about being disrespected. Aries: You don't even have the decency to bring Alexa Bliss with you? Bliss comes in and yelling ensues so Regal makes Blake/Murphy vs. Aries/a partner of his choice next week. Aries pulls out his phone and implies he knows someone.
Alexa Bliss vs. Rachel Ellering
That would be Paul's daughter. Bliss starts on the arm by bouncing it off the mat and working on an armbar. A forearm gets two on Rachel and it's back to the armbar. The comeback goes nowhere as Bliss does the psycho eyes choke to set up the Sparkle Splash for the pin at 3:52.
Bayley says she's getting ready for her rematch when Nia Jax interrupts. She learned from the loss to Bayley but it's clear that Bayley has learned nothing from losing the title. A challenge for a rematch is issued and Bayley says she can choke Nia out again. This was a really awkward, and likely WAY too scripted, exchange.
Bayley vs. Nia is official for next week.
Finn Balor vs. Elias Samson
Just regular Finn here and his shoulder is taped up. Feeling out process to start until Balor knocks him to the floor and takes us to a break. Back with Balor holding an armbar and the fans saying it NEEDS MORE COWBELL. Samson fires off some forearms but Balor just blasts him in the face a few times. Some running chops in the corner put Samson on the floor for a baseball slide. The Sling Blade sets up 1916 for the pin on Samson at 7:47.
Balor says he wants his rematch for the title because it belongs to him. Now he's possessed like a demon stalking his prey so here's Samoa Joe to interrupt. Before it can get physical, Regal comes out to make Balor vs. Joe III for Takeover on June 8. That's really rare for NXT as they almost never have feuds go on this long. Joe yells a lot so Balor dives over the top to take him out.
Results
American Alpha b. Corey Hollis/John Skyler Grand Amplitude to Hollis
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Alex Riley Kinshasa
Alexa Bliss b. Rachel Ellering Sparkle Splash
Finn Balor b. Elias Samson 1916
Thursday
Smackdown
Date: May 12, 2016
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler
It's kind of hard to say what to expect around here as the show has been bouncing back and forth between focusing on the Intercontinental Title feud and then the World Title situation. The former tends to be the more interesting and it should be a fun show tonight with all four people being thrown together in a tag match. Let's get to it.
Here's Dean Ambrose to get things going. Lawler thinks Jericho should press charges against Dean for destroying the jacket. Well, uh, YEAH probably but that's the kind of thing that doesn't happen in wrestling. Dean thinks they're even now because Jericho smashed Mitch over the back of his head to try and take away everything he has. This ring is all that he's got and as long as his heart is beating, no one is going to take it away. Now the question is what can Dean take away from Jericho and the first thing that comes to his mind is Jericho's ego.
After Dean gets done with him, Jericho isn't even going to be sure if wrestling is for him anymore. The lights go out and Jericho's music comes on, only to have Jericho appear behind Dean and lay him out. That's not it though as he pulls out a straitjacket to tie Dean down. Ambrose wakes up as Jericho shouts that Dean needs to get crazy while beating him in the head. A Codebreaker stops Dean's comeback and a second one FINALLY has referees out here to break it up. Jericho does his Gift of Jericho pose on the announcers' table.
Rusev vs. Sin Cara
Kalisto is on commentary and says helping Cara on Monday was just being a team. Rusev drops him with an early clothesline and stomps away as Kalisto stumbles over his battle plan for the pay per view. A kick to the chest puts Cara down again and we hear about Steph Curry for no good reason.
In your random insult of the week, Rusev has dubbed Kalisto the smelly boy who hides behind a mask. Cara starts kicking at the leg and scores with some right hands, followed by a top rope flip attack. As this is going on, Lana throws water on Kalisto for a distraction so Rusev can kick him in the head. Back in and the superkick sets up the Accolade to make Cara tap at 3:09.
We look at Dana Brooke debuting and helping beat down Becky Lynch on Monday.
Emma introduces Dana, who is ready to destroy Becky tonight. People forget that Emma used to be on top of the NXT women's division but Dana has never forgotten and knows what Emma can do. This needed more patting on the head.
Becky Lynch vs. Dana Brooke
Lynch forearms her to start and pats Dana on the head, only to be pulled down by the hair. Dana stomps her on the mat and cranks on an arm and leg at the same time. Becky starts her comeback with a clothesline and a leg lariat but Dana sends her throat first into the ropes so Emma can poke her in the eye. Dana grabs a jackknife cover for the pin at 2:52. This was really awkward, which I'm sure has nothing to do with Dana debuting in September 2014 and being injured for months but still being called up to the main roster anyway.
Video on the end of Monday's six man tag and the post match showdown between Reigns and Styles.
AJ gives Anderson and Gallows a pep talk for tonight but says he's banned from ringside. They seem to be officially going with The Club.
Here's New Day for their weekly chat. Big E. nearly swears about what happened on Monday, which Woods says was the Vaudevillians Kanye Westing them. By that he doesn't mean marrying someone who has a big......I think you get the idea. Actually Woods means getting involved in something that was none of his business. They're stuck in the 1830s and at Extreme Rules they'll be knocked into the DeLorean and sent back to the future. Cue the Vaudevillians to sing about how they'll win the titles a week from Sunday. Soon the sun will set on the New Day and the night belongs to the Vaudevillians.
Aiden English vs. Kofi Kingston
Kofi dropkicks him at the bell and stomps the heck out of him in the corner. English gets sent outside but catches a sliding Kofi and sends him face first into the post to take over. Big E. holds up the cereal to bring Kofi back to life (needs more Lion King), which actually seems to work as Kofi kicks English in the face and gets two off a high cross body. A top rope splash to the back gets two but everyone else gets ejected. Things settle down and Kofi grabs a sunset flip, only to have English drop down and put his hand on the ropes for the big upset at 3:52.
Reigns is also banned from ringside but he's ready to come out and deal with Styles if necessary.
Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson vs. Usos
Reigns and Styles are banned from ringside. Karl and Jey get things going with Jey in control before it's off to Jimmy for a running forearm. It's Gallows pulling Jimmy down by the hair and coming in for a slam. Anderson pounds away in the corner even more as Ranallo mentions Karl teaming with Giant Bernard, who Lawler says he hasn't heard from in a long time.
Anderson finally misses an elbow and it's off to Jey as things speed up. There's a powerslam to Karl but Gallows kicks Jey in the face and we take a break. Back with Anderson dropping a knee for two before it's back to Gallows for a chinlock. With that going nowhere, Gallows opts to just punch Jey in the corner. A superkick gets Jey out of trouble and the diving tag brings in Jimmy for the real house cleaning. Another superkick drops Anderson and sets up the Superfly Splash, only to have Gallows pull Jimmy to the floor. Gallows throws him over the announcers' table and that's a DQ at 11:39.
The beating continues post match as Anderson kicks Jey in the face and the twins are beaten down with a chair. You know, the match is over so there's nothing keeping Reigns from coming out for the save.
R-Truth waters his selfie stick and gets his phone wet.
Here's our first Life Lesson With Coach Backlund. Bob asks Darren what time his watch says. Darren pulls out his phone to check the time but Backlund thinks he's making a phone call. His advice is to not call the operator and waste her time about the time. Young says no one wears watches anymore and he has everything on his desktop on his smart phone. Backlund: I don't care if your phone is Einstein! He wants the mail in a mailbox, a calendar on a wall and the desktop on top of a desk. Darren is told to do 200 squats and that's just fine with him. Again they weren't even in the same room, which makes this even better.
On a related sidenote: since when did wearing a watch become something so horrible? Yeah you can check your phone, or you can flick your eyes over to your wrist and see what time it is. You might even be able to do that without then needing to check 14 things on your phone and getting distracted by something. Since when did that become some arcane way of thinking?
Goldango vs. Gorgeous Truth
Breeze and Fandango open things up but it's off to Goldust and Truth less than thirty seconds in. Neither of them want to fight though so Truth tags Breeze back in, only to have Tyler knock Truth off the apron. Fandango turns on Goldust as well and Breeze pins Goldust (off a single clothesline, the only move Goldust took all match) for the pin at 1:39.
The beatdown is on and Goldust tries to cover Truth. That's a nice gesture but if I'm Truth, I'd try to find a partner who can survive a clothesline.
Greetings From Puerto Rico. Their new name is the Shining Stars.
We look at Ric Flair being escorted out of the building in the way too complicated segment on Monday.
Charlotte calls that a travesty because Ric Flair deserves better treatment than that. Ric guarantees that Charlotte will retain the title at Extreme Rules but Charlotte looks unsure. To recap, the idea here is that Charlotte is in trouble without Flair and Ric is the one who is confident. In other words: Flair looks good and Charlotte looks almost inept. As usual, advantage Flair.
Cesaro/Sami Zayn vs. The Miz/Kevin Owens
This should be good. During Miz's entrance, Owens jumps on commentary to say he's allowing Miz one last chance to be a good partner before he takes the title at Extreme Rules. Miz and Cesaro get things going with the latter grabbing a headlock. A backbreaker gets two on Miz so Owens shouts about how he can do better. That's fine with Miz who brings Owens in, followed by Sami tagging himself in as well.
Zayn hammers away in the corner and Lawler correctly says the referee should be admonishing Sami for the punches. Miz comes in and bails to the floor but Owens won't let him leave. The good guys hit some dives to take the villains down and we take a break. Back with Sami slamming Miz and low bridging him out to the floor. Owens gets in a cheap shot though and it's time for Sami to be in trouble. A hard kick to the back sets up a camel clutch from Miz.
Owens to Byron: YOU BETTER PRAISE ME! The Reality Check gets two for Miz but Sami comes back with one of those clotheslines to drop the champ. There's the Blue Thunder Bomb (whose name confuses Lawler) to finally allow the tag off to Cesaro. Owens gets to eat some uppercuts and Cesaro runs to the floor for the uppercut against the barricade on Miz. The high cross body gets two on Owens but Sami's Helluva Kick hits Cesaro by mistake. Owens adds the frog splash for the pin on Cesaro at 12:45.
Sami takes the Pop Up Powerbomb but Miz gives Owens the Skull Crushing Finale to end the show.
Results
Rusev b. Sin Cara Accolade
Dana Brooke b. Becky Lynch Jackknife rollup
Aiden English b. Kofi Kingston Rollup while grabbing the rope
Usos b. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows via DQ when Gallows threw Jimmy over the table
Gorgeous Truth b. Goldango Breeze pinned Goldust after a clothesline from Fandango
Miz/Kevin Owens b. Cesaro/Sami Zayn Frog splash to Cesaro
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Baron Corbin b. Dolph Ziggler End of Days
R-Truth b. Fandango Lie Detector
Paige b. Charlotte Rollup
Sami Zayn b. The Miz Helluva Kick
Sin Cara b. Rusev Rollup
Roman Reigns/Usos b. AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows via DQ when Anderson hit Reigns with a chair
Kevin Owens b. Zack Ryder Pop Up Powerbomb
Dudley Boyz b. New Day Clothesline to Kingston
Impact Wrestling
Decay b. Jeff Hardy/James Storm Black Hole Slam to Hardy
Drew Galloway b. Eli Drake Future Shock
Jade b. Gail Kim via DQ when Sienna interfered
Mahabali Shera b. Al Snow Sky High
Ethan Carter III b. Rockstar Spud 1%er
NXT
American Alpha b. Corey Hollis/John Skyler Grand Amplitude to Hollis
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Alex Riley Kinshasa
Alexa Bliss b. Rachel Ellering Sparkle Splash
Finn Balor b. Elias Samson 1916
Smackdown
Rusev b. Sin Cara Accolade
Dana Brooke b. Becky Lynch Jackknife rollup
Aiden English b. Kofi Kingston Rollup while grabbing the rope
Usos b. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows via DQ when Gallows threw Jimmy over the table
Gorgeous Truth b. Goldango Breeze pinned Goldust after a clothesline from Fandango
Miz/Kevin Owens b. Cesaro/Sami Zayn Frog splash to Cesaro
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 9, 2016
Location: CenturyLink Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
Things are still on a bit of a roll in WWE as we're getting closer and closer to Extreme Rules in thirteen days. Last week saw Roman Reigns and the Usos trade six man tag team wins against AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows but it's not clear how closely affiliated Styles is with his New Japan buddies. Let's get to it.
We open with a long recap of the six man tag and post match issues with Styles refusing to hit Reigns with a chair and getting powerbombed through the announcers' table. The rematch on Smackdown isn't mentioned whatsoever, as is usually the case.
Tonight we'll see the same six man, albeit with elimination rules.
Here's Chris Jericho to kick things off with the Highlight Reel. Dean Ambrose was supposed to be his guest but he's still in the hospital. Jericho has a replacement though as he unveils the remains of Mitch the plant. They're not all that dissimilar because they're both in pieces and could be entertaining at times.
Jericho finds it amusing that the fans were more concerned about Mitch than Dean after last week. Ambrose has no value on his own but Jericho is the Haley's comet of WWE: a once in a lifetime talent so drink him in. This brings out Colin Cassady of all people to say that if this is the gift of Jericho, you better give him the receipt with it. Cass talks about the new era and says Jericho is standing in his way.
Jericho thinks Cass should go visit his buddy Enzo Annoying in the hospital but that's not cool with Cass, who wants to fight right now. Jericho tries to call himself the best in the world but Cass covers the microphone, leaving Jericho looking stunned. The jacket comes off but Jericho leaves. Cass calls him SAWFT to draw Jericho back in, earning himself a great looking boot to the face. This was a well done exchange, even though I can't imagine Cass pinning Jericho in a match.
Post break Jericho goes to Stephanie to say Shane is trying to ruin this new era (that's probably the eighth time they've used that word in about 22 minutes) but Stephanie likes everyone getting a new chance. Therefore tonight, Jericho is facing Big Cass (complete with Stephanie doing the catchphrases because this is the wacky, fun loving Stephanie) in the main event. Oh and Jericho should never, EVER, try to drive a wedge between Stephanie and her brother Shane again. I'm so glad she pointed out which brother it was in that totally natural way of speaking of hers.
Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler
Before the match, Corbin says he's the force in this new era. They start brawling early with Ziggler sending him outside and into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Ziggler caught in a chinlock before Corbin just lays in with heavy right hands. Corbin ducks his head though and eats a Fameasser for two. The Zig Zag is countered into a big old Deep Six for two but Corbin stops to pose too much. Ziggler tries the same rollup he beat Corbin with the first time out but Corbin kicks out and plants him with the End of Days for the pin at 8:28.
We look back at Stephanie making Charlotte vs. Natalya at Extreme Rules in a submission match with Ric Flair banned from ringside.
Charlotte and Ric Flair come in to see Shane, who they think should reverse Stephanie's decision. Shane thinks otherwise and bans Ric from ringside tonight as well.
Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows/AJ Styles regret not going after Reigns last week. Tonight the Club is back together.
Fandango vs. R-Truth
This is a preview match for Gorgeous Truth vs. Goldango on Smackdown. Of course it's a danceoff to start with Truth (complete with gold hair tips) doing a spinning bunny hop. Fandango dropkicks him down and dances, drawing Goldust up to the apron for some swiveling of his own. Breeze gets up as well but gets knocked right back down, setting up the Lie Detector for the pin at 2:11. You know, this is a stupid feud but I'll give them points for actually sticking with the thing. It's harmless enough so let them get a story told.
Miz, Cesaro and Kevin Owens are with the McMahons and Stephanie makes a triple threat match for the Intercontinental Title at Extreme Rules. Sami Zayn comes in to ask about making it a triple threat. He wants to be involved but Shane says he has to earn it, which he can by beating Miz tonight. Otherwise, Sami goes to the back of the line.
Paige vs. Charlotte
Non-title with Natalya on commentary. Paige quickly takes it to the floor and starts slugging away with forearms as Natalya talks about it being a beautiful day in Omaha. A big boot gets two for Charlotte, followed by some knees to the chest. Paige kicks her in the head for two more, followed by a good looking superplex for the same. Charlotte gets out of the PTO and grabs a rollup with her feet on the ropes, only to have Natalya break it up. Cue Ric Flair, allowing Charlotte to get in a backbreaker.....and here's Shane to interrupt. Referees get Flair out of there and Paige grabs a rollup for the pin at 7:45.
We look back at Cass and Jericho earlier.
Sami Zayn vs. The Miz
Non-title. Sami gets in some rollups for two early and headscissors Miz out to the floor. Miz bails to avoid the suicide dive and drives Sami's back into the barricade instead. The moonsault off the barricade takes Miz down, only to have Maryse yell a lot as we take a break. Back with Sami being sent hard into the steps and barely beating the count back in. Miz kicks him in the face and gets in the short DDT for two.
The Figure Four is broken up and Sami gets a near fall of his own off the Michinoku Driver. Now the Figure Four goes on but Sami dives over and makes the rope. A sunset flip is blocked as Miz grabs the ropes, only to have the referee break it up. The exploder suplex into the corner sets up the Helluva Kick for the most obvious pin in a long time to send Sami to Extreme Rules at 12:58.
Becky Lynch doesn't believe that the eye poke last week was an accident. Emma comes up to tell her that she really needs eyes in the back of her head. Cue the debuting Dana Brooke to lay Becky out and tell her that playtime is over.
We see Darren Young asking Bob Backlund to be his coach. As usual, Smackdown means nothing.
The Up Up Down Down crew shills Pizza Hut.
Zack Ryder is telling Shane that he knows he belongs when Kevin Owens comes in. Owens sums up the whole thing by asking Ryder why he exists. Shane's decision is to make Owens vs. Ryder for the spot in the Intercontinental Title match tonight.
Roman Reigns and the Usos are ready to get rid of Gallows/Anderson before Reigns takes Styles out on his own.
Sin Cara vs. Rusev
Rusev suplexes him down a few times, followed by a bearhug and a fall away slam. Cara's quick comeback goes a bit better than you would expect with Cara getting in a moonsault to send Rusev outside. A suicide dive looks to set up the Swanton but Rusev blasts him with a superkick. Lana starts yelling for no apparent reason, allowing Kalisto to kick Rusev in the head. Cara grabs a rollup for the pin upset at 3:45.
Greetings From Puerto Rico. I have no idea if this is ever going anywhere but it might be nice to do something with it already.
Roman Reigns/Usos vs. AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows
Elimination rules. Jey smacks Karl in the face to start and it's already off to Reigns, meaning the booing begins early. That goes nowhere so Jey powerslams Anderson for no cover, only to have Anderson get in an uppercut from the floor, allowing Anderson to roll Jey up with tights for the pin at 2:38. Now we get Reigns vs. Styles with a big shot sending AJ right back into the corner. It's already off to Gallows to run over Jimmy, who rolls the legal Anderson up for the pin at 4:35 total.
Back from a break with just Jimmy having been eliminated during the break. Reigns wastes no time and Superman Punches Gallows for the elimination at 9:35. It's down to one on one so AJ hits the strike rush and knocks Reigns out to the floor. That means it's time to load up the announcers' table but Reigns throws AJ across instead. This brings out Anderson with a chair to blast Reigns for the DQ at 11:43.
Post break everyone but Reigns and Styles fight to the back, leaving AJ to load up a Styles Clash on the chair. Reigns backdrops him to the apron though, leaving them in a staredown with the chair between them. Roman picks it up and throws it to AJ's feet. Styles tries the Forearm but Reigns grabs the chair, leaving AJ to bail to the floor.
Zack Ryder vs. Kevin Owens
The winner is in the Intercontinental Title match at Extreme Rules. Owens grabs a headlock to start (Owens: NO ONE BREAKS MY HEADLOCK!) before running Ryder over and dropping the backsplash. They head outside with Owens trying the apron powerbomb but getting backdropped instead. Back in and Owens blasts him in the back of the head with a clothesline but misses the Cannonball. Ryder takes him outside for the Broski Boot up against the barricade, followed by the top rope Elbro for two back inside. The Rough Ryder doesn't work and it's the Pop Up Powerbomb to end Ryder at 4:05.
Big Cass says he'll win tonight.
Here's New Day for a chat, complete with Kofi twirling some unicorn horns like nunchucks. They're not sure how to pronounce Vaudevillains but realize they're the opponents at Extreme Rules for the WWE World Tag Team Championships. We get some bowing down to the last piece of BootyO's before Big E. says the Vaudevillains are from an era that weren't kind to people like them. Woods looks nervous but Big E. says he's talking about smartphone users. Those are the kinds of phones you can use to call your Mammy and Pappy to tell them NEW DAY ROCKS.
New Day vs. Dudley Boyz
Non-title and joined in progress after a break with Bubba hammering on Kofi's face. Bubba even dances a bit before it's off to Big E. for a shoulder and the Warrior Splash. Kofi comes back in and eats D-Von's spinning elbow for two, only to have Big E. launch him onto D-Von in the corner for two. Everything breaks down for a bit until D-Von gets caught in the Unicorn Stampede. Cue the Vaudevillains to go after Woods though, leaving D-Von to hit one heck of a clothesline for the pin on Kofi at 5:10.
Kofi gets the Whirling Dervish post match.
Chris Jericho vs. Colin Cassady
During Jericho's entrance, someone attacks him and steals the jacket. For reasons of general stupidity, the announcers are stunned when it's Dean Ambrose. Dean rips up the jacket and Jericho is so scared that he can't come to the ring and save the thing. He finally charges now that the jacket is destroyed but gets beaten down for his efforts. Jericho gets in a shot to the face and grabs the jacket but runs into Cass on the floor. Cass feeds him into Dirty Deeds and Dean continues to destroy the jacket.
We're still not done though as Shane and Stephanie.....have nothing to say.
Jericho yells a lot to end the show.
Results
Baron Corbin b. Dolph Ziggler End of Days
R-Truth b. Fandango Lie Detector
Paige b. Charlotte Rollup
Sami Zayn b. The Miz Helluva Kick
Sin Cara b. Rusev Rollup
Roman Reigns/Usos b. AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows via DQ when Anderson hit Reigns with a chair
Kevin Owens b. Zack Ryder Pop Up Powerbomb
Dudley Boyz b. New Day Clothesline to Kingston
Tuesday
Impact Wrestling
Date: May 10, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D'Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
We're about a month away from Slammiversary and for the most part the show hasn't been brought up yet. Save for maybe a mention here or there, nothing yet has been announced. I'm sure you can figure out most of the card by this point though and things are ranging from interesting to not all that great. Let's get to it.
The announcers talk about Lashley being the new #1 contender to the World Title.
We recap last week's triple threat main event with Decay beating down Jeff Hardy so Lashley could get the win and the title shot.
Here's Jeff Hardy to get things going by calling out Decay. Cue the whole team with Abyss talking about how Jeff's devotion to the fans have made him weak. Steve says the same things so Jeff thinks the only way you can decay is when you die. And that's ok because I'm about to kill you.
Rosemary implies that they were paid off to take out Hardy (well someone has to pay for that face paint) and that person will reveal themselves at the right time (It's going to be Matt Hardy. Just save time and say it's Matt Hardy already. Everyone knows it's going to be Matt Hardy so just say it's Matt Hardy and get us to the TLC match they're going to have at Slammiversary, likely in the real main event.).
For now the brawl is on until James Storm comes out for the save. Abyss is willing to destroy both of them for free tonight. Jeff: Let's pretend I'm the weatherman. No Jeff, I don't want to pretend you're a weatherman. It's something about a charismatic storm after the break.
Tag Team Titles: Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Decay
Decay is defending and this is Storm's guaranteed rematch since Roode is gone. That goes nowhere so it's off to Storm for some clotheslines on Abyss before a Sling Blade gets two. Abyss drops Storm though and chokeslams Steve onto him for a near fall of his own. Storm raises a boot to stop a charging Steve and brings in Jeff for a Twist of Fate on Abyss. The Swanton is loaded up but the lights go out and Willow (Jeff's old character) appears on stage. Gee, I wonder who is under the mask. A double mist from Decay sets up the Black Hole Slam on Jeff to retain the titles at 6:15.
Remember how we looked at the triple threat match from last week? Well now we're going to do that again, for the second time in about twenty minutes.
Drew Galloway doesn't like Lashley.
Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis were at a Smashing Pumpkins concert last week and hung out with the band after the show.
Here's Galloway for a chat. Drew is sick of Lashley and wants him out here right now. Lashley comes out and we get the traditional exchange of respectful greetings. We hear about how Lashley got into Kurt Angle's head, which Drew says is Lashley's game. He'll try to get inside your head and then break you down physically, but Drew wants to fight tonight. Lashley says we can wait a week and leaves but Drew is going to fight tonight.
Cue Eli Drake to say it'll never be over between the two of them. Drake is here to win gold and he's going to win it all, even if he has to learn to do flips and win the Tag Team Titles on his own. Tonight though he'll take that World Title and it's time for a fight with a title match starting after a break.
TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Eli Drake
Drew is defending of course. Drake starts choking and drops a leg for two before they head outside with Drew firing off chops. Back in and the Future Shock is broken up so Drew settles for a snap powerslam for two. Drake tries to bring in the briefcase but the referee takes it away. Instead it's the Claymore to the face and the Future Shock to retain the title at 5:42.
Ethan Carter III wants a rematch with Mike Bennett and isn't leaving the ring until he gets it.
Jade and Gail Kim are in Maria's office and are going to be facing each other tonight. Maria wants a five star match like the ones that Davey M. guy is always talking about.
Here's Ethan Carter, who makes sure to soak in some of the cheers before getting to his point. For over two years he was unbreakable, unbendable and unbeatable but now he's just a man with a vendetta. Therefore, Bennett needs to fetch his wife and get out here to talk business. I'm sure there's a reason Maria changed outfits between segments. Maria loads up her name but Ethan dubs her Toots McGee and cuts her off.
Mike says he has a huge ego because he was the first man to beat the unbeatable. Ethan wants a rematch right now but apparently Maria has talked to Billy Corgan and there's a new idea. Apparently Mike has a challenge for Ethan in the form of a road to redemption. We'll start tonight inside Six Sides of Steel with Ethan facing.....someone.
We look back at Willow distracting Jeff Hardy earlier tonight.
Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Jade
Jade is defending and Sienna is at ringside. Gail takes it to the mat for an early headlock but Jade comes back with one of her own. A crucifix is countered but Gail counters the counter into an armdrag, followed by an exchange of hurricanranas. They shake hands until Jade gets in a German suplex for two. A cross armbreaker over the ropes has Gail in trouble but Kim sends her outside for a suicide dive. Sienna offers a distraction so Jade can get in a suicide dive of her own, only to have Sienna beat Jade down for the DQ at 5:30.
Sienna beats both of them down post match.
We go to Al Snow's Wrestling Academy with a trainer torturing a student, which is how things used to be. Snow rants about how this is now the exception because it's all about how the young guys get to come in and live their dreams without putting in any effort. Snow wants to be the Donald Trump of wrestling and make it great again, starting with Grado and Shera.
Ethan wants to know his opponent.
Al Snow vs. Mahabali Shera
Snow gets him into a chase around the ring before grabbing a wristlock back inside. They head outside with Snow pulling out a foreign object for a shot to the throat. Pope: The Shiek just texted me. That's only good for two so Snow chokes with wrist tape for two more. The fans chant for Grado as Snow hits the Snow Plow for two more. Cue Grado to break up another foreign object shot, allowing Shera to hit the Sky High for the pin at 5:27.
Jeff Hardy attacks Willow in the back and beats him down. After a break, Jeff is still at it until two more Willows attack him with the third giving him a Conchairto.
Video on Lashley vs. Galloway next week.
Ethan Carter III vs. ???
Inside a cage and the opponent is......Rockstar Spud. Carter hammers away to start and sends him into the cage a few times. Spud gets in a quick shot and chokes with his belt but he still can't get out. Back in (after Spud looks like he's being dragged under the bed in a slasher movie) and Carter keeps beating him up until Spud tries a fast climb. Carter is actually kicked off the cage and Spud drops a top rope elbow for two. The beating continues with Spud going into the cage over and over before gorilla pressing him off the top of the cage. The 1%er puts Spud away at 8:24.
Results
Decay b. Jeff Hardy/James Storm Black Hole Slam to Hardy
Drew Galloway b. Eli Drake Future Shock
Jade b. Gail Kim via DQ when Sienna interfered
Mahabali Shera b. Al Snow Sky High
Ethan Carter III b. Rockstar Spud 1%er
Wednesday
Christian has been released from his contract. This should have no bearing on the Edge and Christian Show.
NXT
Date: May 11, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
Finn Balor is back tonight and it's already time for him to go after his NXT Title again. Balor lost the belt a few weeks back at a house show to new champion Samoa Joe, meaning Finn's target should be obvious. Other than that it's time to really hit the gas on building towards the next Takeover which is scheduled for about a month from now. Let's get to it.
We open with a video on Finn Balor, talking about how the title is his obsession before the loss to Joe. I believe this aired last week as well. Balor may have lost the title but it's time to embrace the demon inside.
Here's Finn to open things up. After a THANK YOU FINN chant, Balor thanks the fans and talks about how the matches with Joe could have gone either way but he won the first two. Before he can talk about what happened in the third match, Elias Samson comes out to sing about Balor's masquerade being exposed. Samson says Finn is nothing without the title so Balor kicks him in the head to put Elias outside. The guitar goes flying but thankfully Samson makes the save. Jeff Jarrett is somewhere groaning at the guitar not being destroyed.
Last week, Eric Young called himself a world class maniac who is so glad to finally be here in NXT.
Balor wants Samson tonight.
American Alpha vs. Corey Hollis/John Skyler
Non-title. Chad takes Skyler to the mat to start and we get the Kurt Angle themed chant. Hollis comes in and gets headlocked down as well before we hit the seated armbar. It's off to Jordan who easily throws Hollis into the air for a face first crash onto the mat. A double hiptoss puts Hollis down and there's a double dropkick for Skyler as this is completely one sided so far.
Hollis finally realizes that he can cheat and the jobbers take over on Gable for the first time. Skyler drops a knee for two and we hit the chinlock. That works for all of five seconds before it's off to Jordan as house is cleaned. Cue the Revival on the ramp for a distraction but Grand Amplitude puts Hollis away at 5:10.
Shinsuke Nakamura is asked what he thinks about Alex Riley's rage. Nakamura starts shaking, like he has rage you see.
Alex Riley vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
Riley had been calling himself the white lion down in NXT, at least until he got released a few weeks after this. Riley goes right after him to start like he's a guy about to be released going after one of the top stars in the promotion. Nakamura misses a knee though and Riley hammers away, earning himself a string of knees and forearms to the ribs and face. The running knee in the corner sets up the inverted exploder suplex, followed by Kinshasa to put Riley away at 2:38.
Austin Aries is in William Regal's office to say he wants to prove he's the best. Blake and Murphy come in to talk about being disrespected. Aries: You don't even have the decency to bring Alexa Bliss with you? Bliss comes in and yelling ensues so Regal makes Blake/Murphy vs. Aries/a partner of his choice next week. Aries pulls out his phone and implies he knows someone.
Alexa Bliss vs. Rachel Ellering
That would be Paul's daughter. Bliss starts on the arm by bouncing it off the mat and working on an armbar. A forearm gets two on Rachel and it's back to the armbar. The comeback goes nowhere as Bliss does the psycho eyes choke to set up the Sparkle Splash for the pin at 3:52.
Bayley says she's getting ready for her rematch when Nia Jax interrupts. She learned from the loss to Bayley but it's clear that Bayley has learned nothing from losing the title. A challenge for a rematch is issued and Bayley says she can choke Nia out again. This was a really awkward, and likely WAY too scripted, exchange.
Bayley vs. Nia is official for next week.
Finn Balor vs. Elias Samson
Just regular Finn here and his shoulder is taped up. Feeling out process to start until Balor knocks him to the floor and takes us to a break. Back with Balor holding an armbar and the fans saying it NEEDS MORE COWBELL. Samson fires off some forearms but Balor just blasts him in the face a few times. Some running chops in the corner put Samson on the floor for a baseball slide. The Sling Blade sets up 1916 for the pin on Samson at 7:47.
Balor says he wants his rematch for the title because it belongs to him. Now he's possessed like a demon stalking his prey so here's Samoa Joe to interrupt. Before it can get physical, Regal comes out to make Balor vs. Joe III for Takeover on June 8. That's really rare for NXT as they almost never have feuds go on this long. Joe yells a lot so Balor dives over the top to take him out.
Results
American Alpha b. Corey Hollis/John Skyler Grand Amplitude to Hollis
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Alex Riley Kinshasa
Alexa Bliss b. Rachel Ellering Sparkle Splash
Finn Balor b. Elias Samson 1916
Thursday
Smackdown
Date: May 12, 2016
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler
It's kind of hard to say what to expect around here as the show has been bouncing back and forth between focusing on the Intercontinental Title feud and then the World Title situation. The former tends to be the more interesting and it should be a fun show tonight with all four people being thrown together in a tag match. Let's get to it.
Here's Dean Ambrose to get things going. Lawler thinks Jericho should press charges against Dean for destroying the jacket. Well, uh, YEAH probably but that's the kind of thing that doesn't happen in wrestling. Dean thinks they're even now because Jericho smashed Mitch over the back of his head to try and take away everything he has. This ring is all that he's got and as long as his heart is beating, no one is going to take it away. Now the question is what can Dean take away from Jericho and the first thing that comes to his mind is Jericho's ego.
After Dean gets done with him, Jericho isn't even going to be sure if wrestling is for him anymore. The lights go out and Jericho's music comes on, only to have Jericho appear behind Dean and lay him out. That's not it though as he pulls out a straitjacket to tie Dean down. Ambrose wakes up as Jericho shouts that Dean needs to get crazy while beating him in the head. A Codebreaker stops Dean's comeback and a second one FINALLY has referees out here to break it up. Jericho does his Gift of Jericho pose on the announcers' table.
Rusev vs. Sin Cara
Kalisto is on commentary and says helping Cara on Monday was just being a team. Rusev drops him with an early clothesline and stomps away as Kalisto stumbles over his battle plan for the pay per view. A kick to the chest puts Cara down again and we hear about Steph Curry for no good reason.
In your random insult of the week, Rusev has dubbed Kalisto the smelly boy who hides behind a mask. Cara starts kicking at the leg and scores with some right hands, followed by a top rope flip attack. As this is going on, Lana throws water on Kalisto for a distraction so Rusev can kick him in the head. Back in and the superkick sets up the Accolade to make Cara tap at 3:09.
We look at Dana Brooke debuting and helping beat down Becky Lynch on Monday.
Emma introduces Dana, who is ready to destroy Becky tonight. People forget that Emma used to be on top of the NXT women's division but Dana has never forgotten and knows what Emma can do. This needed more patting on the head.
Becky Lynch vs. Dana Brooke
Lynch forearms her to start and pats Dana on the head, only to be pulled down by the hair. Dana stomps her on the mat and cranks on an arm and leg at the same time. Becky starts her comeback with a clothesline and a leg lariat but Dana sends her throat first into the ropes so Emma can poke her in the eye. Dana grabs a jackknife cover for the pin at 2:52. This was really awkward, which I'm sure has nothing to do with Dana debuting in September 2014 and being injured for months but still being called up to the main roster anyway.
Video on the end of Monday's six man tag and the post match showdown between Reigns and Styles.
AJ gives Anderson and Gallows a pep talk for tonight but says he's banned from ringside. They seem to be officially going with The Club.
Here's New Day for their weekly chat. Big E. nearly swears about what happened on Monday, which Woods says was the Vaudevillians Kanye Westing them. By that he doesn't mean marrying someone who has a big......I think you get the idea. Actually Woods means getting involved in something that was none of his business. They're stuck in the 1830s and at Extreme Rules they'll be knocked into the DeLorean and sent back to the future. Cue the Vaudevillians to sing about how they'll win the titles a week from Sunday. Soon the sun will set on the New Day and the night belongs to the Vaudevillians.
Aiden English vs. Kofi Kingston
Kofi dropkicks him at the bell and stomps the heck out of him in the corner. English gets sent outside but catches a sliding Kofi and sends him face first into the post to take over. Big E. holds up the cereal to bring Kofi back to life (needs more Lion King), which actually seems to work as Kofi kicks English in the face and gets two off a high cross body. A top rope splash to the back gets two but everyone else gets ejected. Things settle down and Kofi grabs a sunset flip, only to have English drop down and put his hand on the ropes for the big upset at 3:52.
Reigns is also banned from ringside but he's ready to come out and deal with Styles if necessary.
Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson vs. Usos
Reigns and Styles are banned from ringside. Karl and Jey get things going with Jey in control before it's off to Jimmy for a running forearm. It's Gallows pulling Jimmy down by the hair and coming in for a slam. Anderson pounds away in the corner even more as Ranallo mentions Karl teaming with Giant Bernard, who Lawler says he hasn't heard from in a long time.
Anderson finally misses an elbow and it's off to Jey as things speed up. There's a powerslam to Karl but Gallows kicks Jey in the face and we take a break. Back with Anderson dropping a knee for two before it's back to Gallows for a chinlock. With that going nowhere, Gallows opts to just punch Jey in the corner. A superkick gets Jey out of trouble and the diving tag brings in Jimmy for the real house cleaning. Another superkick drops Anderson and sets up the Superfly Splash, only to have Gallows pull Jimmy to the floor. Gallows throws him over the announcers' table and that's a DQ at 11:39.
The beating continues post match as Anderson kicks Jey in the face and the twins are beaten down with a chair. You know, the match is over so there's nothing keeping Reigns from coming out for the save.
R-Truth waters his selfie stick and gets his phone wet.
Here's our first Life Lesson With Coach Backlund. Bob asks Darren what time his watch says. Darren pulls out his phone to check the time but Backlund thinks he's making a phone call. His advice is to not call the operator and waste her time about the time. Young says no one wears watches anymore and he has everything on his desktop on his smart phone. Backlund: I don't care if your phone is Einstein! He wants the mail in a mailbox, a calendar on a wall and the desktop on top of a desk. Darren is told to do 200 squats and that's just fine with him. Again they weren't even in the same room, which makes this even better.
On a related sidenote: since when did wearing a watch become something so horrible? Yeah you can check your phone, or you can flick your eyes over to your wrist and see what time it is. You might even be able to do that without then needing to check 14 things on your phone and getting distracted by something. Since when did that become some arcane way of thinking?
Goldango vs. Gorgeous Truth
Breeze and Fandango open things up but it's off to Goldust and Truth less than thirty seconds in. Neither of them want to fight though so Truth tags Breeze back in, only to have Tyler knock Truth off the apron. Fandango turns on Goldust as well and Breeze pins Goldust (off a single clothesline, the only move Goldust took all match) for the pin at 1:39.
The beatdown is on and Goldust tries to cover Truth. That's a nice gesture but if I'm Truth, I'd try to find a partner who can survive a clothesline.
Greetings From Puerto Rico. Their new name is the Shining Stars.
We look at Ric Flair being escorted out of the building in the way too complicated segment on Monday.
Charlotte calls that a travesty because Ric Flair deserves better treatment than that. Ric guarantees that Charlotte will retain the title at Extreme Rules but Charlotte looks unsure. To recap, the idea here is that Charlotte is in trouble without Flair and Ric is the one who is confident. In other words: Flair looks good and Charlotte looks almost inept. As usual, advantage Flair.
Cesaro/Sami Zayn vs. The Miz/Kevin Owens
This should be good. During Miz's entrance, Owens jumps on commentary to say he's allowing Miz one last chance to be a good partner before he takes the title at Extreme Rules. Miz and Cesaro get things going with the latter grabbing a headlock. A backbreaker gets two on Miz so Owens shouts about how he can do better. That's fine with Miz who brings Owens in, followed by Sami tagging himself in as well.
Zayn hammers away in the corner and Lawler correctly says the referee should be admonishing Sami for the punches. Miz comes in and bails to the floor but Owens won't let him leave. The good guys hit some dives to take the villains down and we take a break. Back with Sami slamming Miz and low bridging him out to the floor. Owens gets in a cheap shot though and it's time for Sami to be in trouble. A hard kick to the back sets up a camel clutch from Miz.
Owens to Byron: YOU BETTER PRAISE ME! The Reality Check gets two for Miz but Sami comes back with one of those clotheslines to drop the champ. There's the Blue Thunder Bomb (whose name confuses Lawler) to finally allow the tag off to Cesaro. Owens gets to eat some uppercuts and Cesaro runs to the floor for the uppercut against the barricade on Miz. The high cross body gets two on Owens but Sami's Helluva Kick hits Cesaro by mistake. Owens adds the frog splash for the pin on Cesaro at 12:45.
Sami takes the Pop Up Powerbomb but Miz gives Owens the Skull Crushing Finale to end the show.
Results
Rusev b. Sin Cara Accolade
Dana Brooke b. Becky Lynch Jackknife rollup
Aiden English b. Kofi Kingston Rollup while grabbing the rope
Usos b. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows via DQ when Gallows threw Jimmy over the table
Gorgeous Truth b. Goldango Breeze pinned Goldust after a clothesline from Fandango
Miz/Kevin Owens b. Cesaro/Sami Zayn Frog splash to Cesaro
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Baron Corbin b. Dolph Ziggler End of Days
R-Truth b. Fandango Lie Detector
Paige b. Charlotte Rollup
Sami Zayn b. The Miz Helluva Kick
Sin Cara b. Rusev Rollup
Roman Reigns/Usos b. AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows via DQ when Anderson hit Reigns with a chair
Kevin Owens b. Zack Ryder Pop Up Powerbomb
Dudley Boyz b. New Day Clothesline to Kingston
Impact Wrestling
Decay b. Jeff Hardy/James Storm Black Hole Slam to Hardy
Drew Galloway b. Eli Drake Future Shock
Jade b. Gail Kim via DQ when Sienna interfered
Mahabali Shera b. Al Snow Sky High
Ethan Carter III b. Rockstar Spud 1%er
NXT
American Alpha b. Corey Hollis/John Skyler Grand Amplitude to Hollis
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Alex Riley Kinshasa
Alexa Bliss b. Rachel Ellering Sparkle Splash
Finn Balor b. Elias Samson 1916
Smackdown
Rusev b. Sin Cara Accolade
Dana Brooke b. Becky Lynch Jackknife rollup
Aiden English b. Kofi Kingston Rollup while grabbing the rope
Usos b. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows via DQ when Gallows threw Jimmy over the table
Gorgeous Truth b. Goldango Breeze pinned Goldust after a clothesline from Fandango
Miz/Kevin Owens b. Cesaro/Sami Zayn Frog splash to Cesaro