klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Smackdown got a 1.8, down from last week.
Impact got a .9, down again from last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 6, 2013
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
We're closing in on Extreme Rules and tonight the main story is that Lesnar, Heyman and HHH are supposed to be in the building. It's looking like that's going to main event the PPV and I don't think anyone really cares to see that. Other than that we've got more with Ryback vs. Cena and likely the triple threat match for what used to be the Smackdown World Title. Let's get to it.
We open with a video of Ryback walking out on Cena as well as Heyman and Lesnar at WWE headquarters today with the promise of footage later tonight.
Here's Cena to open things up, saying that he's way better than he was last week. He says he's going to answer the fans tonight using the method of ancient master of Chinese Arts Daniel Bryan: YES it was a bad idea to wrestle hurt last week, NO it won't stop him from fighting at the PPV, YES he's mad at Ryback, YES he's ready for Ryback to do the Fandango, NO the picture of he and Betty White is Photoshopped.
Cena says he's the WWE Champion and it's his job to get in the ring every week and perform. He hasn't been 100% since 2002 but it's not going to stop him from defending the championship. Cue Vickie who says that the PPV is going to be extreme, so Ryback to get his input on the stipulations for the WWE Title match.
She asks both guys to say what kind of match they want. Cena says how about the winner is the one who runs out of the arena screaming, but that's giving Ryback too big of an advantage. We could have a whine-off but Ryback would be too big of a favorite there too. We even get a Ryback impression from Cena, talking about international phone cards and fried green tomatoes. In short, Cena doesn't care what kind of match it is.
Vickie tells off Ryback for walking out last week but says he gets to pick the stips for the title match. Ryback talks about how Cena's Achilles heel is hurt but his real Achilles heel is his pride. It's going to be last man standing at Extreme Rules and that's about it. Ryback just leaves with nothing physical.
We hear about Lesnar and Heyman invading WWE headquarters. It comes off like a breaking news report from a news channel.
Randy Orton vs. Damien Sandow
Orton beat Sandow on Smackdown but after the match Sandow hit him with the Terminus, meaning we need a rematch. On the way to the ring, Sandow gives us a song, set to the beat of Voices and talking about how Orton never changes his facial expressions, is covered in oil and is an ignoramus. That was great. Orton jumps Sandow quickly and loads up the Elevated DDT, only to have Damien head to the floor. Back in and Orton hits the backbreaker and the circle stomp as we take a break.
Back with Sandow holding a chinlock but Orton standing up to escape. Some knees to Randy's ribs set up the Wind-Up Elbow for two for Damien. Back to the chinlock but Orton fights up and hits some clotheslines. The powerslam has Sandow in trouble but he gets an elbow up out of the corner. Damien goes up but jumps into a dropkick from Randy, sending Sandow to the apron. There's the Elevated DDT and the RKO ends this at 9:26.
Big Show knocks out Randy as he leaves.
Here's Jericho with a new light up jacket. He talks about Fandango, complete with a ton of plays on his name. Jericho has set up a table of judges at ringside tonight and it's going to be him and Tons of Funk scoring Fandango's match.
Fandango vs. R-Truth
The brunette dancer is back instead of Summer Rae now. Fandango's entrance gets a five out of thirty from the judges. Fandango jumps Truth as he starts and dances a bit before putting on a cravate. Truth comes back with the front suplex and ax kick to send Fandango to the floor. Some splits from R-Truth combine for a score of 62/30. Fandango walks out of the match at 1:36. This was an angle instead of a match.
More pictures of Heyman and Lesnar at WWE HQ.
We look back at Smackdown with Bryan losing to Ryback and then being attacked by Shield later in the night.
Bryan says he's fine physically. Make that fine overall. He talks about how Shield is all about justice and challenges Ryback to a rematch. Ryback pops up immediately and says no to the challenge. Kane pops up and says Ryback can fight him if he wants and the match is on.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title. Del Rio takes him down with a quick headlock and a hard kick to the back for two. Dolph comes back and stomps away in the corner before hitting a running splash for two. Alberto hits a running kick to the head/shoulder in the corner for two followed by the forearms to the back and the Backstabber. The champ falls to the floor and here come Swagger and Colter. Jack and Langston get in a staredown but Jack walks over to the announce table as we take a break.
Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock but Del Rio fighting up into a sunset flip for two. Dolph hits a dropkick for two of his own before dropping a bunch of elbows. Off to a rear naked choke by Ziggler but Alberto escapes and launches the champion into the air. Del Rio misses the running kick to the head in the corner but lands on Dolph, seeming to injure the champ's head in the process.
Ziggler goes up for something and Del Rio looks like he tries the running enziguri again, only to hit a running fist instead. A reverse superplex to Ziggler puts both guys down and a hard kick to Ziggler's face get two. The cross armbreaker goees on but an AJ distraction lets Langston break up the hold. Del Rio is launched into Swagger for the DQ at 14:53.
Post match Swagger runs over Langston and beats up everyone with the ladder.
We recap Ryback and Cena's segment from earlier.
More Lesnar photos.
Video on WWE's deal with Yahoo.
Kaitlyn gets a text from the secret admirer with a lot of Simpsons references. Khali shows up and is going to be sent undercover into the locker room to find out who the guy is. They leave and the Bellas show up, seeming very happy.
Shield vs. Usos/Kofi Kingston
Jey and Ambrose start things off with Dean putting Jey into the corner with some right hands. Jey fires back and takes him down before Rollins tries diving off the top, only to jump into an uppercut. Rollins drives Jey into the corner where Reigns gets in some right hands of his own. Off to a chinlock by Rollins as Jey gets beaten down. Reigns comes in and chokes away before it's off to Rollins for another chinlock. Jey finally gets up and hits a Samoan Drop, allowing for the hot tag to Kofi.
The Shield is knocked to the floor and there's the Boom Drop on Ambrose for no cover. Kofi misses a charge into the corner but hits some pendulum kicks to Ambrose and Rollins. The springboard cross body gets two on Dean as everything breaks down. Reigns ENDS one of the Usos with a clothesline as Kofi goes up, only to be shoved down by Rollins. Ambrose's falling bulldog is enough to pin Kofi at 6:45.
Antonio Cesaro vs. Zack Ryder
Cesaro looks like a typical Swiss man now and has stopped yodeling. Ryder gets hit with the gutwrench suplex and pounded down into the corner. Zack comes back with the middle rope dropkick and that's about it for the comeback. Neutralizer ends Ryder at 2:02.
Post match Cesaro says no one can hold a candle to him.
Now we get security footage of Lesnar and Heyman arriving at WWE HQ. A lot of these shots are the same ones we've gotten all day. Apparently he destroyed HHH's office.
Here's Heyman via satellite to show us the footage he shot of Lesnar at WWE HQ this morning. They go inside and see a Sheamus poster and some Andre the Giant stuff (He's been dead for 150 years!) which doesn't impress Heyman. Heyman and Lesnar go to the fourth floor (executive offices of course, complete with the full elevator ride) and get annoyed at all the poster of WWE Superstars with none of Lesnar in sight. Heyman: Does anyone work here on Mondays? They go into HHH's office (Heyman to the secretary: You're not Stephanie. You're much prettier.) and assault some assistants.
Lesnar puts the replica World Heavyweight Title on his shoulder and puts his feet on HHH's computer. Now he breaks the computer in half with his bare hands as this just keeps going. Lesnar takes the sledgehammer off the wall and destroys the desk and some chairs. Lamps are smashed and down goes a TV. This has been going on for like ten minutes now. Heyman leaves a business card.
Paul talks about how HHH earned that because HHH of the Pedigree on Heyman a few weeks ago. He holds up the crushed replica world title which is all destroyed from the hammer shots. Heyman talks about how he's going to make Lesnar destroy HHH in the cage and it's going to BRUTAL. Cue HHH to the arena as Heyman freaks out. HHH responds to all that by making bald jokes. HHH says he's extreme too because he was in the Attitude Era.
HHH talks about how his other office is here in the ring and it has a great view. He became a man in this ring which is something Lesnar never did. If Lesnar wants to prove something, he can come say it to his face. In this office, they fight back. That's how this WAY too long segment ends: with a line that lame.
AJ/Bella Twins vs. Funkadactyls/Kaitlyn
AJ and Cameron start things off with Cameron being taken down. AJ toys with her before putting on a cravate to slow things down. The crowd is eerily silent. Off to Kaitlyn to stare down AJ and get slapped in the face. The Bellas walk away, allowing Kaitlyn to spear AJ down for the pin at 2:23.
Here's Henry with something to say. He says that he doesn't have to pretend to be tough like Sheamus does. We get a clip of Henry attacking Sheamus a few weeks ago before Mark challenges Sheamus to a match at Extreme Rules. He promises to make people remember the match and here's Sheamus to interrupt.
Sheamus says we only saw part of the clip and shows us him getting in cheap shots on Henry last week. Henry says Sheamus better be serious at Extreme Rules but asks to fight right now. Sheamus is ready to go but gets interrupted by Wade Barrett.
Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus
This is joined in progress with Barrett holding a chinlock. Henry is on commentary as well. Sheamus fights up and hits a running knee lift as Henry says Cole is ate up with stupid. There are the ten forearms to the chest and Barrett is knocked to the floor. Henry gets off commentary and Sheamus teases throwing Barrett at him but stops, sending Henry falling to the floor.
A Brogue Kick lays out Henry and Sheamus goes back inside with the top rope shoulder for two on Wade. Barrett gets a quick small package and the Winds of Change for two each. The Irish Curse stops the comeback dead but the Brogue Kick misses. A big forearm gets two for Barrett but the Bull Hammer is caught in White Noise. The Brogue Kick ends Barrett at 4:45.
Post match Henry whips Sheamus with a belt, meaning we're likely heading to a strap match.
Jericho vs. Fandango next week.
Now we look at the Lesnar footage AGAIN.
Ryback vs. Kane
Ryback slams Kane down and clotheslining him out to the floor. Kane comes back with an uppercut, only to be thrown into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Ryback holding Kane in a front facelock before hitting a Thesz press on the big red machine. Kane comes back with some clotheslines in the corner but walks into a spinebuster. A suplex blocks the Shell Shock but the top rope clothesline is broken up twice. Ryback pulls Kane off the top and into the Shell Shock for the pin at 8:42.
Post match here comes Shield but Bryan comes out to even the odds. Ryback bails so here's Cena to make it 3-2. Ryback comes back in with a chair but blasts Cena in the ribs with it and lays him out to end the show.
Results
Randy Orton b. Damien Sandow RKO
R-Truth b. Fandango via countout
Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Jack Swagger interfered
Shield b. Kofi Kingston/Usos Falling Bulldog to Kingston
Antonio Cesaro b. Zack Ryder Neutralizer
Kaitlyn/Funkadactyls b. AJ/Bella Twins Spear to AJ
Sheamus b. Wade Barrett Brogue Kick
Ryback b. Kane Shell Shock
Tuesday
Raw got a 2.9 with the lowest number of viewers in a year.
Wednesday
Impact will be moving back to 9PM on May 30.
Dolph Ziggler suffered a concussion at the Smackdown tapings. No word on this affecting his match at the PPV.
NXT
Date: May 8, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, William Regal
This is the first show in a new batch of tapings, meaning the crowd will be completely different. The main event of tonight's show is Adrian Neville teaming up with Bo Dallas to defend the tag titles against the Wyatt Family. Neville's regular partner Oliver Grey is out with a knee injury at the hands of the Wyatt Family, so there's a built in revenge story already. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the Wyatt Family vs. Neville/Grey story.
Damien Sandow vs. Baron Corbin
I believe this is Corbin's first appearance. The fans immediately start chanting thank you Sandow as he toys with Corbin to start. Sandow offers Corbin a chance to leave right now before being taken to the mat with a headlock. Back up and Damien hits a snapmare and a knee drop for no cover. Corbin comes back with some shoulder blocks, only to be caught with the knees to the ribs and Russian legsweep to set up the Wind-Up elbow. A move similar to Matt Hardy's Side Effect called the Silencer ends Corbin at 3:07.
Post match Sandow challenges Langston for the NXT Title.
Paige vs. Bayley
They're already contradicting Paige's nicknames as she's called the Anti-Diva on the way to the ring before Regal says she told him she would be the Diva of tomorrow. They trade arm holds to start until Paige cranks it up, clotheslining Bayley on the top rope. Bayley sends her out to the apron and hits a quick clothesline for two before choking away in the corner.
Off to an armbar by Bayley followed by a middle rope back elbow to the jaw. A modified exploder suplex gets two on Paige but she blocks a slam and hits a release fisherman's suplex to take over. Paige fires off some knees to the ribs followed by the Paige Turner for the pin at 4:58.
Post match Summer Rae jumps Paige.
Langston says that if you think his title reign has been impressive, you should see his yo-yo collection. Sandow comes in to challenge for the title again but Langston says he needs to answer a question first. First off, Sandow has to pick a number. The number is six, so Langston says add the number that comes after. That would be six plus seven making thirteen. Now add nine and divide by two and subtract six. Sandow says five (correct for you non-math fans) which sends Big E. into a frenzy. Sandow walks away in what might have been fear.
Sakamoto vs. Briley Pierce
Pierce goes after the arm to start as Regal talks about buying a microwave bed the other day. Pierce hooks a hammerlock and does Ziggler's (acknowledged as his real life brother here) headstand in the process. That gets him nowhere but here's Conor O'Brian to beat up both guys as the match is thrown out at 1:24.
Post break Sakamoto and Pierce want a piece of Conor next week.
Kassius Ohno vs. Camacho
Camacho still has a job? He slams Ohno down to start and Kassius bails to the corner for a bit. Ohno comes back with a dripkick and some shots to the chest. A dropkick to the side of the head puts Camacho down and he pounds away in the corner. Camacho comes back with some kicks of his own and a weak slam for two. Ohno can't get an O'Connor Roll and is backdropped down for two.
Off to a chinlock for a bit before Camacho belly to back suplexes Ohno down for two. Now it's a nerve hold by Camacho but Ohno fights up and hits his third kick to Camacho's chest. Ohno fires off some strikes to the throat and a running forearm in the corner. A discus forearm sets up the Kassius Clutch (cravate hold) for the tap out from Camacho at 6:13.
Post match Ohno apologizes to Regal but gets cut off by Bray Wyatt who stares him down. The Family attacks Ohno from behind and beats him down. Wyatt hits his Downward Spiral on the stage.
Sandow vs. Langston for the title next week.
Tag Titles: Wyatt Family vs. Adrian Neville/Bo Dallas
Dallas and Rowan start things off with Bo pounding away on the big man as well as he can until it's off to Neville for some kicks to the leg. A quick crossbody gets two on Rowan and it's back to Dallas. The champions (kind of?) are tagging in and out very quickly here. Dallas dropkicks Erick down for two and it's back to Adrian for a double clothesline for two. Rowan gets in a right hand though and it's off to Harper for the usual power brawling.
Neville will have none of this being in trouble though and snaps off a rana on Harper followed by a big discus forearm for two. We take a break and come back with Dallas crawling through Harper's legs to make the tag off to Neville. A big flip dive takes out Rowan on the floor and hits the corkscrew shooting star on Luke but Rowan makes a last second save.
Now it's time for Adrian to take a beating like a small man like him usually does in wrestling. Rowan cranks on a reverse chinlock before it's back to Harper. Both monsters pound away on Adrian's ribs but only for a near fall. Harper puts on a chinlock to wear Neville down but he comes back with a small package out of a suplex for two. Neville avoids a charge into the corner to send Harper out to the corner and there's the hot tag to Dallas.
Bo fires off forearms all around but Rowan stops him with a boot to the ribs. Dallas comes right back with a reverse DDT on Rowan before pounding away on the monster in the corner. A sunset flip is blocked by Erick and he plants Bo down with a pumphandle powerslam for two. Bray is very interested as he watches from the stage. Dallas escapes another pumphandle powerslam and spears Erick down for two but gets sent into Adrian in the corner. Erick hits a big boot to Dallas and Harper's discus lariat gives the Family the titles at 11:50 shown of 15:20.
Results
Damien Sandow b. Baron Corbin Silencer
Paige b. Bayley Paige Turner
Sakamoto vs. Briley Pierce went to a no contest when Conor O'Brian interfered
Kassius Ohno b. Camacho Kassius Clutch
Wyatt Family b. Adrian Neville/Bo Dallas Discus lariat to Dallas
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: May 9, 2013
Location: BancorpSouth Arena, Tupelo, Mississippi
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley
It's another live show this week as we're less than a month away from Slammiversary. The main event tonight is yet another tag match with Sting captaining a TNA team along with Kurt Angle and a mystery partner, which may be AJ Styles to face Aces and 8's. In other words, almost everything is the same as it always is, which is TNA's major problem at the moment. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week with Sting beating Matt Morgan for the title match last week and D'Lo Brown potentially being kicked off the team.
Here are Angle and Sting to open things up. Sting talks about wanting to take the heart out of Aces and 8's by taking the title from Ray in Boston. He doesn't want to wait another month though so tonight he's going to war with the machine. Angle talks about making Brown scream I QUIT last week, but tonight it's AJ Styles that can turn the tide in the war. Kurt calls out AJ and yells at him to make a decision right now.
Sting says hang on a second and talks about his time of hanging in the rafters and being the loner for awhile. He calls this place the house that AJ built and sticks out his hand to Styles. Angle takes the mic away from Sting and yells at AJ that he's either with them or against them, so Styles walks away. Angle goes after Styles and AJ takes off the jacket. They slug it out on the ramp and the bikers sneak in and lay out Sting with a 3D.
Post break AJ has nothing to say.
Tara/Gail Kim vs. Mickie James/Velvet Sky
Mickie pounds on Gail to start as we have a very good view of Velvet from the apron. Gail interferes though and lets Tara take over, allowing Tara to put Mickie in the Tree of Woe. A baseball slide hits Mickie in the face and it's off to Gail for a splash in the corner. Mickie comes back with a kick to the face in the corner and it's off to Velvet. She quickly loads up In Yo Face on Tara but has to send Gail to the floor. No that it matters as In Yo Face hits Tara for the pin at 3:32.
Post match Gail lays out Tara and puts her in the Figure Four around the post.
Bully isn't pleased with D'Lo and the bikers leave him standing there as they go to the ring.
Bad Influence offers Storm some beer to hopefully sway him to their side. They leave and Storm starts drinking.
Here are Aces and 8's to hype up the main event tonight. They know the mystery partner isn't AJ Styles because AJ has seen the light of day. However, there's club business with D'Lo Brown. A couple of weeks ago (it was last week), Brown disappointed the team so turn in his colors right now. Brown says no so Ray gives him one more chance. Brisco and Bischoff take the vest off of him and Ray yells at him for quitting. Brown offers to beat up Magnus tonight to get the vest back. Ray says no because Doc gets to beat up Magnus instead. Apparently Brown's spot rests on Doc winning.
Magnus vs. Doc
This is joined in progress after a break with Doc in control and knocking a jumping Magnus out of the air. After a quick chinlock, Doc kicks him in the face but Magnus starts his comeback with a big boot of his own. Some clotheslines puts Doc down and after shoving him off the top, a top rope elbow gets two for Magnus. Brown interferes but is thrown into the steps for his efforts. Back in and Doc hits a fireman's carry into a pancake for two. Brown tries to trip Magnus but grabs the wrong foot, allowing Magnus to get a quick rollup on Doc for the pin at 4:12 shown.
Post break Ray wants to CRUSH BROWN'S SKULL WITH A HAMMER. Instead of murdering him, Ray calms down and makes him a prospect instead.
Hogan wants to team up with Angle and Sting but his doctors told him no. Hogan got a phone call today and if the guy is who he says he is, but apparently they would save the six man. Sting isn't sure and suggests Magnus.
Aries and Roode also offer Storm beer.
Bad Influence vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries
James Storm is guest referee and the winners get a tag title shot. Aries starts with Kaz and they spin around a lot with Aries taking over and relaxing on the top rope. Both guys try to rake the others eyes and both try the clap tag to trick Storm, but James looks at both and shrugs. Regular tags bring in Roode and Daniels and they shake hands before both kick the other in the ribs at the same time.
Roode takes Daniels down in the corner with a neckbreaker and it's off to Aries for a middle rope elbow into the back of a seated Daniels. It only gets one since Storm is distracted so it's time for some HARD chops in the corner from Aries. Daniels is sent to the floor for an ax handle from Aries. Off to Roode and Bad Influence finally double teams to take over. An elbow drop to Roode's back gets two and Roode is in trouble. Tazz suggests putting a bowl of beer down on the mat to make Storm get down faster.
Roode throws Kaz into Daniels and finally makes the hot tag off to Aries. It's elbow strikes all around but Daniels escapes the brainbuster. Aries throws him onto Kaz on the floor though and takes both guys out with a suicide dive. Back in and Austin goes up for a frog splash (complete with Eddie dance) for two. Bad Influence hits a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo on Aries for two before Kaz has Fade to Black countered by Roode.
A spinebuster puts Kaz down but an STO puts Roode down as well. Aries suplexes Daniels down but Austin charges into a boot in the corner. Angel's Wings are countered but the brainbuster is countered as well. Daniels rolls up Aries but Storm won't count because Daniels is pulling the tights. Aries loads up a swig of beer and sprays it in Daniels' face. Storm drinks the rest of the beer but gets shoved by Aries.
Storm loads up the Last Call but hits Daniels by mistake. He won't count the three though because that's not right. Instead it's a Last Call on Aries and both guys are out. Storm walks away and the match seemingly just ends at 11:20. My guess is this sets up a triple threat tag because we haven't had one of those in awhile.
Aces and 8's destroy Magnus in the back. What is that, the third time that's happened?
Suicide is back soon.
Video on Chris Sabin returning last week.
Here's Kenny King to remind us he's still around. King brags about being awesome and how impressive it is that he has to beat two people every single week. More like every month but whatever. He calls out Chris Sabin as someone who has overcome the odds so here's Chris to a big ovation. Chris talks about being in physical therapy for the last year but how it's been worth it. King hands him the belt and says that's as close as Frail Sabin will ever get to being champion. Chris pops him in the face and King leaves.
Storm is out cold in the back with the four guys from the tag title match standing over him.
The Bound For Glory Series is back and this year a Gut Check winner will be in the Series. There's a four man tournament next week with the winner getting into the Series for a shot at the world title at BFG.
Ray tells Aces and 8's that they're weeding out the weak ones. Knux is tasked with making sure D'Lo keeps the beer cold and the bikes washed.
Angle leaves without a partner. Hogan gets another call and the mystery partner might be here.
Kurt Angle/Sting/??? vs. Aces and 8's
It's Ray/D-Von/Anderson here. Angle and Sting are on their own to start. Kurt and D-Von get things going here with the fans completely behind Angle. A quick belly to belly puts D-Von down but it's off to the world champion for some hard elbows to the back of Kurt's neck. Kurt grabs ray's arm but it's quickly off to Sting, sending Ray running into the corner. Anderson gets the tag but he walks into a dropkick and atomic drop before it's back to Angle.
Kurt beats on Anderson a bit before it's back to D-Von who takes Kurt down for a quick two count. Angle slugs him in the face but the numbers came catches up with him again. The Dudleys hit a reverse 3D on Angle before knocking Sting off the apron. Something is apparently going on in the back and it's the rest of Aces and 8's all laid out. We take a break and come back with Ray hitting a good dropkick (Tazz: LIKE MIL MASCARAS!) for two on Kurt.
D-Von comes back in to crank on Angle's neck for a bit before slamming him down and dropping a leg for no cover. WE get the Hogan imitations of course and it's back to Ray for more pounding on Kurt. Angle snaps off an Angle Slam on Ray out of nowhere and it's hot tag to Sting. The Splash and Death Drop get two on D-Von as Anderson makes the save. There's another splash on D-Von but now Ray makes the save.
Sting basically Hulks Up and gets in Ray's face and they slug it out. There's the Scorpion on Ray but Anderson makes the save. Sting is taken to the floor as the Dudleys load up a table, but here's ABYSS to return and clean house. He chokeslams Anderson through the table (not a DQ) and hits the Black Hole Slam on D-Von for the pin at 18:27.
Results
Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Tara/Gail Kim In Yo Face to Tara
Magnus b. Doc Rollup
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode vs. Bad Influence went to a no contest
Kurt Angle/Sting/Abyss b. Aces and 8's Black Hole Slam to D-Von
Friday
Impact got a 1.0, up from last week.
Smackdown
Date: May 10, 2013
Location: PNC Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Mathews
With only two Smackdowns left until Extreme Rules, the biggest question is obvious: will more furniture be destroyed here tonight? Oh wait this is Smackdown, meaning Lesnar and HHH will never appear here. Anyway tonight we're likely to get more build up towards the triple threat, meaning some combination of the people are likely to fight each other so that one can look weaker than another. Let's get to it.
We open with the voiceover and a video on the triple threat stuff from Raw, with Swagger destroying Ziggler and Del Rio with the ladder. It's Swagger vs. Langston tonight, as well as Ambrose vs. Bryan.
Jericho is in the ring for the Highlight Reel. His guest tonight is Ryback so we see some clips from Raw with Ryback beating Cena down. Jericho says he sees where Ryback is coming from but Ryback doesn't really care. It's Jericho's show though so he gets to talk about what he wants to. Jericho knows about all the times Shield has beaten Ryback down and all the times he's lost the WWE Championship. He says he's been WWE Champion six times so he understands what Ryback is going through. That's a bit confusing as he only held that title once. He's held six world titles but only one WWE Title.
Anyway Jericho wants to know what Ryback's Rules are. Jericho has gone through a period with people gunning for him because he had a chip on his shoulder the size of the big show. Ryback doesn't care so Jericho talks about how the Jericholics are judging Ryback. The fans understand the difference between beating Rock and Austin in one night and beating a one legged Cena in one night.
Jericho tells Ryback to be careful what he wishes for, because no one will respect him if he wins the title. Ryback says Jericho talks to much and threatens to drop him right now. Jericho says he doesn't think Ryback will do a thing, so here's Teddy to make this the main event. Does Booker do anything on Smackdown anymore? Ryback lays out Jericho with a right hand.
Mark Henry is going to try to pull two tractor trailers tonight to break a world record.
Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes
Non-title of course. Cody trips him down but gets caught in a flip over armdrag as Kofi speeds things up. Rhodes gets in an elbow to the face and hits a knee to Kofi's thigh followed by the front suplex for two. Off to an armbar on the champion but Kofi easily escapes and chops Cody down. A rollup gets two on Rhodes but he rolls through Kofi's spinning crossbody for two. Both finishers miss but as Cody loads up the Disaster Kick he jumps into Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 3:28.
We look at Lesnar destroying HHH's office on Raw. Calling it frightening and a workplace invasion over and over again doesn't make it suck any less than it already did. I don't know about you, but I have a problem getting upset that Lesnar destroyed a bunch of furniture and a TV that the company probably paid for. Oh wait he also broke a replica belt and some photos. How ever will HHH replace those things?
Colter talks about how Swagger is going to climb the ladder like an AMERICAN, one step at a time.
Big E. Langston vs. Jack Swagger
Del Rio is on commentary. Before the match, he slides in a ladder but Swagger kicks Dolph in the face before he can do anything with it. Langston is knocked to the floor but Ziggler dropkicks the ladder into Swagger's face. Del Rio comes in and hits the low superkick to Dolph's face and rams the ladder into his head. Swagger has the ladder thrown at him and Del Rio stands tall atop the ladder. Somewhere in there Ziggler got a concussion and as of this writing, his status is still in doubt for the PPV. No match of course.
Dean Ambrose vs. Daniel Bryan
They slug it out in the corner to start until Bryan hits a running knee to the ribs to take over. Some hard kicks to the back have Ambrose in trouble but he comes back by sending Bryan face first into the buckle. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner and hits a clothesline to set up kicks to Ambrose's chest. Dean rolls to the floor and there's the big suicide dive to take both guys out.
We take a break and come back with Ambrose dropping elbows on Bryan before putting on a cross arm choke. Ambrose transitions into a nerve hold and neck crank, giving him the rest hold trifecta. Bryan fights up but gets kneed in the ribs to stop his comeback cold. A running dropkick gets two for Dean and it's back to the chinlock. Back up and Ambrose misses a charge in the corner, slamming his shoulder into the post.
Bryan fires off the kicks in the corner before putting Dean in the Tree of Woe for even more kicks. A running dropkick to Ambrose's ribs gets two but he comes back with a quick backslide for two. Bryan kicks Dean down again and goes up top for the headbutt, only to be distracted by Shield. The delay makes him switch over to a missile dropkick for two instead.
Dean comes back with a forward belly to back suplex (he picked Bryan up for a belly to back and snapped him forward onto the mat instead) for two. Ambrose is starting to snap and fires off knees to Bryan's face. Bryan grabs the NO Lock out of nowhere but Reigns comes in for the save while the referee is watching Kane and Rollins fight. Dean loads up the bulldog driver but Kofi Kingston runs in for the DQ at 9:21 shown of 12:51.
Shield is cleared out post match.
We recap the Highlight Reel, because we can't remember something that happened 50 minutes ago.
We see a clip from earlier today with Mark Henry attached to a semi truck and pulling it down the road. Apparently that's a warmup and next he'll pull TWO of them, which combine to weigh over 110,000lbs.
Clip from Raw of Sheamus getting taken down by Henry and whipped with a belt. The photos of the welts on his body are rather disturbing. The match at Extreme Rules is a strap match, where you have to touch all four buckles.
We go live to the parking lot where Henry is attached to two semi trucks. Before he starts he promises to destroy Sheamus at the PPV. Henry can't pull it at first but after Striker asks him some annoying questions, Henry gets all fired up and finally pulls them forward. That's rather impressive looking, whether it was rigged or not. Henry is spent....and Sheamus doesn't appear. That's kind of surprising.
The Raw ReBound recounts all of the Ryback/Cena stuff from Raw.
Randy Orton looks at a clip of Big Show knocking him out on Monday. He says that vouching for Big Show got him knocked out twice, which has only made him more venomous.
Big Show vs. Tensai
Tensai pounds away at Big Show and knocks him into the corner with right hands. Not that it matters as Show hits a single right hand and wins in 50 seconds.
Brodus gets speared down by Big Show but before Show can load up the WMD, Orton runs in with an RKO for the giant.
AJ runs into Kaitlyn as she gets another text from her secret admirer. Kaitlyn suggests that it's Dolph and they get into a catty argument until Natalya comes up to scare AJ off. Khali pops up in a Mysterio mask which is his undercover attire. He takes off the mask to reveal that it's actually not Mysterio before leaving. Kaitlyn says the mask isn't really needed and he just needs to keep his ears open. Natalya tells Khali he doesn't have to dress like Rhodes, as he now has a mustache on.
Chris Jericho vs. Ryback
Ryback shoves him into the corner to start but gets caught by a dropkick to put him down. Jericho is thrown to the floor as Ryback shrugs off whatever Chris throws at him. Back in and Ryback pounds Jericho down as the fans chant for the Canadian. Off to a chinlock by Ryback but Jericho fights up and elbows Ryback to the apron for the springboard dropkick. Ryback starts getting fired up but that might be too interesting for a heel so he stops to think instead as we take a break.
Back with Ryback stomping on Jericho in the corner before working over the leg a little bit. Now it's off to a body vice as Ryback can't seem to pick a body part. Jericho fights up but gets caught in a big spinebuster for two as JBL gets annoyed with Josh being an idiot on commentary. Josh: Ryback will be in the ring with John Cena in ten days. JBL: WELL DUH! Off to a neck crank on Jericho as Ryback mocks the fans chanting for him. Back up and Jericho is sent over the top, only to hold on and go up top for an ax handle to the head.
Ryback slams him down again but misses a splash, allowing Jericho to hit a Lionsault to Ryback's back for two. As usual, the announcers are surprised that the Lionsault only got two. The Codebreaker is countered into another spinebuster and there's a jackknife powerbomb to keep the Canadian down. Someone needs to use the powerbomb as a finisher again. It's been far too long. Josh is totally behind Ryback in this match and criticizes Cole for hanging on to Cena, complete with comparing Cole's love of Cena to JR's love of Austin. That's very odd to hear coming from Matthews.
Jericho makes a quick comeback and tries the Walls but Ryback is just too strong. He kicks Jericho away before catching a cross body in a fallaway slam for no cover. The Meathook connects but Chris rolls through Shell Shock into the Walls of Jericho but Ryback easily gets the ropes. Now the Codebreaker hits but Ryback falls out to the floor. Jericho follows him out but gets thrown into the barricade and crotched against the post.....for a DQ at 11:00 shown of 14:30.
Post match Ryback knocks Jericho over the announce table to end the show.
Results
Kofi Kingston b. Cody Rhodes Trouble in Paradise
Dean Ambrose b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Kofi Kingston interfered
Big Show b. Tensai WMD
Chris Jericho b. Ryback via DQ when Ryback sent Jericho into the post
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
James Storm has a torn lower abdominal muscle. No word on how severe it is or if he'll miss ring time.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Randy Orton b. Damien Sandow RKO
R-Truth b. Fandango via countout
Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Jack Swagger interfered
Shield b. Kofi Kingston/Usos Falling Bulldog to Kingston
Antonio Cesaro b. Zack Ryder Neutralizer
Kaitlyn/Funkadactyls b. AJ/Bella Twins Spear to AJ
Sheamus b. Wade Barrett Brogue Kick
Ryback b. Kane Shell Shock
NXT
Damien Sandow b. Baron Corbin Silencer
Paige b. Bayley Paige Turner
Sakamoto vs. Briley Pierce went to a no contest when Conor O'Brian interfered
Kassius Ohno b. Camacho Kassius Clutch
Wyatt Family b. Adrian Neville/Bo Dallas Discus lariat to Dallas
Impact Wrestling
Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Tara/Gail Kim In Yo Face to Tara
Magnus b. Doc Rollup
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode vs. Bad Influence went to a no contest
Kurt Angle/Sting/Abyss b. Aces and 8's Black Hole Slam to D-Von
Smackdown
Kofi Kingston b. Cody Rhodes Trouble in Paradise
Dean Ambrose b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Kofi Kingston interfered
Big Show b. Tensai WMD
Chris Jericho b. Ryback via DQ when Ryback sent Jericho into the post
Smackdown got a 1.8, down from last week.
Impact got a .9, down again from last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 6, 2013
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
We're closing in on Extreme Rules and tonight the main story is that Lesnar, Heyman and HHH are supposed to be in the building. It's looking like that's going to main event the PPV and I don't think anyone really cares to see that. Other than that we've got more with Ryback vs. Cena and likely the triple threat match for what used to be the Smackdown World Title. Let's get to it.
We open with a video of Ryback walking out on Cena as well as Heyman and Lesnar at WWE headquarters today with the promise of footage later tonight.
Here's Cena to open things up, saying that he's way better than he was last week. He says he's going to answer the fans tonight using the method of ancient master of Chinese Arts Daniel Bryan: YES it was a bad idea to wrestle hurt last week, NO it won't stop him from fighting at the PPV, YES he's mad at Ryback, YES he's ready for Ryback to do the Fandango, NO the picture of he and Betty White is Photoshopped.
Cena says he's the WWE Champion and it's his job to get in the ring every week and perform. He hasn't been 100% since 2002 but it's not going to stop him from defending the championship. Cue Vickie who says that the PPV is going to be extreme, so Ryback to get his input on the stipulations for the WWE Title match.
She asks both guys to say what kind of match they want. Cena says how about the winner is the one who runs out of the arena screaming, but that's giving Ryback too big of an advantage. We could have a whine-off but Ryback would be too big of a favorite there too. We even get a Ryback impression from Cena, talking about international phone cards and fried green tomatoes. In short, Cena doesn't care what kind of match it is.
Vickie tells off Ryback for walking out last week but says he gets to pick the stips for the title match. Ryback talks about how Cena's Achilles heel is hurt but his real Achilles heel is his pride. It's going to be last man standing at Extreme Rules and that's about it. Ryback just leaves with nothing physical.
We hear about Lesnar and Heyman invading WWE headquarters. It comes off like a breaking news report from a news channel.
Randy Orton vs. Damien Sandow
Orton beat Sandow on Smackdown but after the match Sandow hit him with the Terminus, meaning we need a rematch. On the way to the ring, Sandow gives us a song, set to the beat of Voices and talking about how Orton never changes his facial expressions, is covered in oil and is an ignoramus. That was great. Orton jumps Sandow quickly and loads up the Elevated DDT, only to have Damien head to the floor. Back in and Orton hits the backbreaker and the circle stomp as we take a break.
Back with Sandow holding a chinlock but Orton standing up to escape. Some knees to Randy's ribs set up the Wind-Up Elbow for two for Damien. Back to the chinlock but Orton fights up and hits some clotheslines. The powerslam has Sandow in trouble but he gets an elbow up out of the corner. Damien goes up but jumps into a dropkick from Randy, sending Sandow to the apron. There's the Elevated DDT and the RKO ends this at 9:26.
Big Show knocks out Randy as he leaves.
Here's Jericho with a new light up jacket. He talks about Fandango, complete with a ton of plays on his name. Jericho has set up a table of judges at ringside tonight and it's going to be him and Tons of Funk scoring Fandango's match.
Fandango vs. R-Truth
The brunette dancer is back instead of Summer Rae now. Fandango's entrance gets a five out of thirty from the judges. Fandango jumps Truth as he starts and dances a bit before putting on a cravate. Truth comes back with the front suplex and ax kick to send Fandango to the floor. Some splits from R-Truth combine for a score of 62/30. Fandango walks out of the match at 1:36. This was an angle instead of a match.
More pictures of Heyman and Lesnar at WWE HQ.
We look back at Smackdown with Bryan losing to Ryback and then being attacked by Shield later in the night.
Bryan says he's fine physically. Make that fine overall. He talks about how Shield is all about justice and challenges Ryback to a rematch. Ryback pops up immediately and says no to the challenge. Kane pops up and says Ryback can fight him if he wants and the match is on.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title. Del Rio takes him down with a quick headlock and a hard kick to the back for two. Dolph comes back and stomps away in the corner before hitting a running splash for two. Alberto hits a running kick to the head/shoulder in the corner for two followed by the forearms to the back and the Backstabber. The champ falls to the floor and here come Swagger and Colter. Jack and Langston get in a staredown but Jack walks over to the announce table as we take a break.
Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock but Del Rio fighting up into a sunset flip for two. Dolph hits a dropkick for two of his own before dropping a bunch of elbows. Off to a rear naked choke by Ziggler but Alberto escapes and launches the champion into the air. Del Rio misses the running kick to the head in the corner but lands on Dolph, seeming to injure the champ's head in the process.
Ziggler goes up for something and Del Rio looks like he tries the running enziguri again, only to hit a running fist instead. A reverse superplex to Ziggler puts both guys down and a hard kick to Ziggler's face get two. The cross armbreaker goees on but an AJ distraction lets Langston break up the hold. Del Rio is launched into Swagger for the DQ at 14:53.
Post match Swagger runs over Langston and beats up everyone with the ladder.
We recap Ryback and Cena's segment from earlier.
More Lesnar photos.
Video on WWE's deal with Yahoo.
Kaitlyn gets a text from the secret admirer with a lot of Simpsons references. Khali shows up and is going to be sent undercover into the locker room to find out who the guy is. They leave and the Bellas show up, seeming very happy.
Shield vs. Usos/Kofi Kingston
Jey and Ambrose start things off with Dean putting Jey into the corner with some right hands. Jey fires back and takes him down before Rollins tries diving off the top, only to jump into an uppercut. Rollins drives Jey into the corner where Reigns gets in some right hands of his own. Off to a chinlock by Rollins as Jey gets beaten down. Reigns comes in and chokes away before it's off to Rollins for another chinlock. Jey finally gets up and hits a Samoan Drop, allowing for the hot tag to Kofi.
The Shield is knocked to the floor and there's the Boom Drop on Ambrose for no cover. Kofi misses a charge into the corner but hits some pendulum kicks to Ambrose and Rollins. The springboard cross body gets two on Dean as everything breaks down. Reigns ENDS one of the Usos with a clothesline as Kofi goes up, only to be shoved down by Rollins. Ambrose's falling bulldog is enough to pin Kofi at 6:45.
Antonio Cesaro vs. Zack Ryder
Cesaro looks like a typical Swiss man now and has stopped yodeling. Ryder gets hit with the gutwrench suplex and pounded down into the corner. Zack comes back with the middle rope dropkick and that's about it for the comeback. Neutralizer ends Ryder at 2:02.
Post match Cesaro says no one can hold a candle to him.
Now we get security footage of Lesnar and Heyman arriving at WWE HQ. A lot of these shots are the same ones we've gotten all day. Apparently he destroyed HHH's office.
Here's Heyman via satellite to show us the footage he shot of Lesnar at WWE HQ this morning. They go inside and see a Sheamus poster and some Andre the Giant stuff (He's been dead for 150 years!) which doesn't impress Heyman. Heyman and Lesnar go to the fourth floor (executive offices of course, complete with the full elevator ride) and get annoyed at all the poster of WWE Superstars with none of Lesnar in sight. Heyman: Does anyone work here on Mondays? They go into HHH's office (Heyman to the secretary: You're not Stephanie. You're much prettier.) and assault some assistants.
Lesnar puts the replica World Heavyweight Title on his shoulder and puts his feet on HHH's computer. Now he breaks the computer in half with his bare hands as this just keeps going. Lesnar takes the sledgehammer off the wall and destroys the desk and some chairs. Lamps are smashed and down goes a TV. This has been going on for like ten minutes now. Heyman leaves a business card.
Paul talks about how HHH earned that because HHH of the Pedigree on Heyman a few weeks ago. He holds up the crushed replica world title which is all destroyed from the hammer shots. Heyman talks about how he's going to make Lesnar destroy HHH in the cage and it's going to BRUTAL. Cue HHH to the arena as Heyman freaks out. HHH responds to all that by making bald jokes. HHH says he's extreme too because he was in the Attitude Era.
HHH talks about how his other office is here in the ring and it has a great view. He became a man in this ring which is something Lesnar never did. If Lesnar wants to prove something, he can come say it to his face. In this office, they fight back. That's how this WAY too long segment ends: with a line that lame.
AJ/Bella Twins vs. Funkadactyls/Kaitlyn
AJ and Cameron start things off with Cameron being taken down. AJ toys with her before putting on a cravate to slow things down. The crowd is eerily silent. Off to Kaitlyn to stare down AJ and get slapped in the face. The Bellas walk away, allowing Kaitlyn to spear AJ down for the pin at 2:23.
Here's Henry with something to say. He says that he doesn't have to pretend to be tough like Sheamus does. We get a clip of Henry attacking Sheamus a few weeks ago before Mark challenges Sheamus to a match at Extreme Rules. He promises to make people remember the match and here's Sheamus to interrupt.
Sheamus says we only saw part of the clip and shows us him getting in cheap shots on Henry last week. Henry says Sheamus better be serious at Extreme Rules but asks to fight right now. Sheamus is ready to go but gets interrupted by Wade Barrett.
Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus
This is joined in progress with Barrett holding a chinlock. Henry is on commentary as well. Sheamus fights up and hits a running knee lift as Henry says Cole is ate up with stupid. There are the ten forearms to the chest and Barrett is knocked to the floor. Henry gets off commentary and Sheamus teases throwing Barrett at him but stops, sending Henry falling to the floor.
A Brogue Kick lays out Henry and Sheamus goes back inside with the top rope shoulder for two on Wade. Barrett gets a quick small package and the Winds of Change for two each. The Irish Curse stops the comeback dead but the Brogue Kick misses. A big forearm gets two for Barrett but the Bull Hammer is caught in White Noise. The Brogue Kick ends Barrett at 4:45.
Post match Henry whips Sheamus with a belt, meaning we're likely heading to a strap match.
Jericho vs. Fandango next week.
Now we look at the Lesnar footage AGAIN.
Ryback vs. Kane
Ryback slams Kane down and clotheslining him out to the floor. Kane comes back with an uppercut, only to be thrown into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Ryback holding Kane in a front facelock before hitting a Thesz press on the big red machine. Kane comes back with some clotheslines in the corner but walks into a spinebuster. A suplex blocks the Shell Shock but the top rope clothesline is broken up twice. Ryback pulls Kane off the top and into the Shell Shock for the pin at 8:42.
Post match here comes Shield but Bryan comes out to even the odds. Ryback bails so here's Cena to make it 3-2. Ryback comes back in with a chair but blasts Cena in the ribs with it and lays him out to end the show.
Results
Randy Orton b. Damien Sandow RKO
R-Truth b. Fandango via countout
Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Jack Swagger interfered
Shield b. Kofi Kingston/Usos Falling Bulldog to Kingston
Antonio Cesaro b. Zack Ryder Neutralizer
Kaitlyn/Funkadactyls b. AJ/Bella Twins Spear to AJ
Sheamus b. Wade Barrett Brogue Kick
Ryback b. Kane Shell Shock
Tuesday
Raw got a 2.9 with the lowest number of viewers in a year.
Wednesday
Impact will be moving back to 9PM on May 30.
Dolph Ziggler suffered a concussion at the Smackdown tapings. No word on this affecting his match at the PPV.
NXT
Date: May 8, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, William Regal
This is the first show in a new batch of tapings, meaning the crowd will be completely different. The main event of tonight's show is Adrian Neville teaming up with Bo Dallas to defend the tag titles against the Wyatt Family. Neville's regular partner Oliver Grey is out with a knee injury at the hands of the Wyatt Family, so there's a built in revenge story already. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the Wyatt Family vs. Neville/Grey story.
Damien Sandow vs. Baron Corbin
I believe this is Corbin's first appearance. The fans immediately start chanting thank you Sandow as he toys with Corbin to start. Sandow offers Corbin a chance to leave right now before being taken to the mat with a headlock. Back up and Damien hits a snapmare and a knee drop for no cover. Corbin comes back with some shoulder blocks, only to be caught with the knees to the ribs and Russian legsweep to set up the Wind-Up elbow. A move similar to Matt Hardy's Side Effect called the Silencer ends Corbin at 3:07.
Post match Sandow challenges Langston for the NXT Title.
Paige vs. Bayley
They're already contradicting Paige's nicknames as she's called the Anti-Diva on the way to the ring before Regal says she told him she would be the Diva of tomorrow. They trade arm holds to start until Paige cranks it up, clotheslining Bayley on the top rope. Bayley sends her out to the apron and hits a quick clothesline for two before choking away in the corner.
Off to an armbar by Bayley followed by a middle rope back elbow to the jaw. A modified exploder suplex gets two on Paige but she blocks a slam and hits a release fisherman's suplex to take over. Paige fires off some knees to the ribs followed by the Paige Turner for the pin at 4:58.
Post match Summer Rae jumps Paige.
Langston says that if you think his title reign has been impressive, you should see his yo-yo collection. Sandow comes in to challenge for the title again but Langston says he needs to answer a question first. First off, Sandow has to pick a number. The number is six, so Langston says add the number that comes after. That would be six plus seven making thirteen. Now add nine and divide by two and subtract six. Sandow says five (correct for you non-math fans) which sends Big E. into a frenzy. Sandow walks away in what might have been fear.
Sakamoto vs. Briley Pierce
Pierce goes after the arm to start as Regal talks about buying a microwave bed the other day. Pierce hooks a hammerlock and does Ziggler's (acknowledged as his real life brother here) headstand in the process. That gets him nowhere but here's Conor O'Brian to beat up both guys as the match is thrown out at 1:24.
Post break Sakamoto and Pierce want a piece of Conor next week.
Kassius Ohno vs. Camacho
Camacho still has a job? He slams Ohno down to start and Kassius bails to the corner for a bit. Ohno comes back with a dripkick and some shots to the chest. A dropkick to the side of the head puts Camacho down and he pounds away in the corner. Camacho comes back with some kicks of his own and a weak slam for two. Ohno can't get an O'Connor Roll and is backdropped down for two.
Off to a chinlock for a bit before Camacho belly to back suplexes Ohno down for two. Now it's a nerve hold by Camacho but Ohno fights up and hits his third kick to Camacho's chest. Ohno fires off some strikes to the throat and a running forearm in the corner. A discus forearm sets up the Kassius Clutch (cravate hold) for the tap out from Camacho at 6:13.
Post match Ohno apologizes to Regal but gets cut off by Bray Wyatt who stares him down. The Family attacks Ohno from behind and beats him down. Wyatt hits his Downward Spiral on the stage.
Sandow vs. Langston for the title next week.
Tag Titles: Wyatt Family vs. Adrian Neville/Bo Dallas
Dallas and Rowan start things off with Bo pounding away on the big man as well as he can until it's off to Neville for some kicks to the leg. A quick crossbody gets two on Rowan and it's back to Dallas. The champions (kind of?) are tagging in and out very quickly here. Dallas dropkicks Erick down for two and it's back to Adrian for a double clothesline for two. Rowan gets in a right hand though and it's off to Harper for the usual power brawling.
Neville will have none of this being in trouble though and snaps off a rana on Harper followed by a big discus forearm for two. We take a break and come back with Dallas crawling through Harper's legs to make the tag off to Neville. A big flip dive takes out Rowan on the floor and hits the corkscrew shooting star on Luke but Rowan makes a last second save.
Now it's time for Adrian to take a beating like a small man like him usually does in wrestling. Rowan cranks on a reverse chinlock before it's back to Harper. Both monsters pound away on Adrian's ribs but only for a near fall. Harper puts on a chinlock to wear Neville down but he comes back with a small package out of a suplex for two. Neville avoids a charge into the corner to send Harper out to the corner and there's the hot tag to Dallas.
Bo fires off forearms all around but Rowan stops him with a boot to the ribs. Dallas comes right back with a reverse DDT on Rowan before pounding away on the monster in the corner. A sunset flip is blocked by Erick and he plants Bo down with a pumphandle powerslam for two. Bray is very interested as he watches from the stage. Dallas escapes another pumphandle powerslam and spears Erick down for two but gets sent into Adrian in the corner. Erick hits a big boot to Dallas and Harper's discus lariat gives the Family the titles at 11:50 shown of 15:20.
Results
Damien Sandow b. Baron Corbin Silencer
Paige b. Bayley Paige Turner
Sakamoto vs. Briley Pierce went to a no contest when Conor O'Brian interfered
Kassius Ohno b. Camacho Kassius Clutch
Wyatt Family b. Adrian Neville/Bo Dallas Discus lariat to Dallas
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: May 9, 2013
Location: BancorpSouth Arena, Tupelo, Mississippi
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley
It's another live show this week as we're less than a month away from Slammiversary. The main event tonight is yet another tag match with Sting captaining a TNA team along with Kurt Angle and a mystery partner, which may be AJ Styles to face Aces and 8's. In other words, almost everything is the same as it always is, which is TNA's major problem at the moment. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week with Sting beating Matt Morgan for the title match last week and D'Lo Brown potentially being kicked off the team.
Here are Angle and Sting to open things up. Sting talks about wanting to take the heart out of Aces and 8's by taking the title from Ray in Boston. He doesn't want to wait another month though so tonight he's going to war with the machine. Angle talks about making Brown scream I QUIT last week, but tonight it's AJ Styles that can turn the tide in the war. Kurt calls out AJ and yells at him to make a decision right now.
Sting says hang on a second and talks about his time of hanging in the rafters and being the loner for awhile. He calls this place the house that AJ built and sticks out his hand to Styles. Angle takes the mic away from Sting and yells at AJ that he's either with them or against them, so Styles walks away. Angle goes after Styles and AJ takes off the jacket. They slug it out on the ramp and the bikers sneak in and lay out Sting with a 3D.
Post break AJ has nothing to say.
Tara/Gail Kim vs. Mickie James/Velvet Sky
Mickie pounds on Gail to start as we have a very good view of Velvet from the apron. Gail interferes though and lets Tara take over, allowing Tara to put Mickie in the Tree of Woe. A baseball slide hits Mickie in the face and it's off to Gail for a splash in the corner. Mickie comes back with a kick to the face in the corner and it's off to Velvet. She quickly loads up In Yo Face on Tara but has to send Gail to the floor. No that it matters as In Yo Face hits Tara for the pin at 3:32.
Post match Gail lays out Tara and puts her in the Figure Four around the post.
Bully isn't pleased with D'Lo and the bikers leave him standing there as they go to the ring.
Bad Influence offers Storm some beer to hopefully sway him to their side. They leave and Storm starts drinking.
Here are Aces and 8's to hype up the main event tonight. They know the mystery partner isn't AJ Styles because AJ has seen the light of day. However, there's club business with D'Lo Brown. A couple of weeks ago (it was last week), Brown disappointed the team so turn in his colors right now. Brown says no so Ray gives him one more chance. Brisco and Bischoff take the vest off of him and Ray yells at him for quitting. Brown offers to beat up Magnus tonight to get the vest back. Ray says no because Doc gets to beat up Magnus instead. Apparently Brown's spot rests on Doc winning.
Magnus vs. Doc
This is joined in progress after a break with Doc in control and knocking a jumping Magnus out of the air. After a quick chinlock, Doc kicks him in the face but Magnus starts his comeback with a big boot of his own. Some clotheslines puts Doc down and after shoving him off the top, a top rope elbow gets two for Magnus. Brown interferes but is thrown into the steps for his efforts. Back in and Doc hits a fireman's carry into a pancake for two. Brown tries to trip Magnus but grabs the wrong foot, allowing Magnus to get a quick rollup on Doc for the pin at 4:12 shown.
Post break Ray wants to CRUSH BROWN'S SKULL WITH A HAMMER. Instead of murdering him, Ray calms down and makes him a prospect instead.
Hogan wants to team up with Angle and Sting but his doctors told him no. Hogan got a phone call today and if the guy is who he says he is, but apparently they would save the six man. Sting isn't sure and suggests Magnus.
Aries and Roode also offer Storm beer.
Bad Influence vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries
James Storm is guest referee and the winners get a tag title shot. Aries starts with Kaz and they spin around a lot with Aries taking over and relaxing on the top rope. Both guys try to rake the others eyes and both try the clap tag to trick Storm, but James looks at both and shrugs. Regular tags bring in Roode and Daniels and they shake hands before both kick the other in the ribs at the same time.
Roode takes Daniels down in the corner with a neckbreaker and it's off to Aries for a middle rope elbow into the back of a seated Daniels. It only gets one since Storm is distracted so it's time for some HARD chops in the corner from Aries. Daniels is sent to the floor for an ax handle from Aries. Off to Roode and Bad Influence finally double teams to take over. An elbow drop to Roode's back gets two and Roode is in trouble. Tazz suggests putting a bowl of beer down on the mat to make Storm get down faster.
Roode throws Kaz into Daniels and finally makes the hot tag off to Aries. It's elbow strikes all around but Daniels escapes the brainbuster. Aries throws him onto Kaz on the floor though and takes both guys out with a suicide dive. Back in and Austin goes up for a frog splash (complete with Eddie dance) for two. Bad Influence hits a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo on Aries for two before Kaz has Fade to Black countered by Roode.
A spinebuster puts Kaz down but an STO puts Roode down as well. Aries suplexes Daniels down but Austin charges into a boot in the corner. Angel's Wings are countered but the brainbuster is countered as well. Daniels rolls up Aries but Storm won't count because Daniels is pulling the tights. Aries loads up a swig of beer and sprays it in Daniels' face. Storm drinks the rest of the beer but gets shoved by Aries.
Storm loads up the Last Call but hits Daniels by mistake. He won't count the three though because that's not right. Instead it's a Last Call on Aries and both guys are out. Storm walks away and the match seemingly just ends at 11:20. My guess is this sets up a triple threat tag because we haven't had one of those in awhile.
Aces and 8's destroy Magnus in the back. What is that, the third time that's happened?
Suicide is back soon.
Video on Chris Sabin returning last week.
Here's Kenny King to remind us he's still around. King brags about being awesome and how impressive it is that he has to beat two people every single week. More like every month but whatever. He calls out Chris Sabin as someone who has overcome the odds so here's Chris to a big ovation. Chris talks about being in physical therapy for the last year but how it's been worth it. King hands him the belt and says that's as close as Frail Sabin will ever get to being champion. Chris pops him in the face and King leaves.
Storm is out cold in the back with the four guys from the tag title match standing over him.
The Bound For Glory Series is back and this year a Gut Check winner will be in the Series. There's a four man tournament next week with the winner getting into the Series for a shot at the world title at BFG.
Ray tells Aces and 8's that they're weeding out the weak ones. Knux is tasked with making sure D'Lo keeps the beer cold and the bikes washed.
Angle leaves without a partner. Hogan gets another call and the mystery partner might be here.
Kurt Angle/Sting/??? vs. Aces and 8's
It's Ray/D-Von/Anderson here. Angle and Sting are on their own to start. Kurt and D-Von get things going here with the fans completely behind Angle. A quick belly to belly puts D-Von down but it's off to the world champion for some hard elbows to the back of Kurt's neck. Kurt grabs ray's arm but it's quickly off to Sting, sending Ray running into the corner. Anderson gets the tag but he walks into a dropkick and atomic drop before it's back to Angle.
Kurt beats on Anderson a bit before it's back to D-Von who takes Kurt down for a quick two count. Angle slugs him in the face but the numbers came catches up with him again. The Dudleys hit a reverse 3D on Angle before knocking Sting off the apron. Something is apparently going on in the back and it's the rest of Aces and 8's all laid out. We take a break and come back with Ray hitting a good dropkick (Tazz: LIKE MIL MASCARAS!) for two on Kurt.
D-Von comes back in to crank on Angle's neck for a bit before slamming him down and dropping a leg for no cover. WE get the Hogan imitations of course and it's back to Ray for more pounding on Kurt. Angle snaps off an Angle Slam on Ray out of nowhere and it's hot tag to Sting. The Splash and Death Drop get two on D-Von as Anderson makes the save. There's another splash on D-Von but now Ray makes the save.
Sting basically Hulks Up and gets in Ray's face and they slug it out. There's the Scorpion on Ray but Anderson makes the save. Sting is taken to the floor as the Dudleys load up a table, but here's ABYSS to return and clean house. He chokeslams Anderson through the table (not a DQ) and hits the Black Hole Slam on D-Von for the pin at 18:27.
Results
Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Tara/Gail Kim In Yo Face to Tara
Magnus b. Doc Rollup
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode vs. Bad Influence went to a no contest
Kurt Angle/Sting/Abyss b. Aces and 8's Black Hole Slam to D-Von
Friday
Impact got a 1.0, up from last week.
Smackdown
Date: May 10, 2013
Location: PNC Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Mathews
With only two Smackdowns left until Extreme Rules, the biggest question is obvious: will more furniture be destroyed here tonight? Oh wait this is Smackdown, meaning Lesnar and HHH will never appear here. Anyway tonight we're likely to get more build up towards the triple threat, meaning some combination of the people are likely to fight each other so that one can look weaker than another. Let's get to it.
We open with the voiceover and a video on the triple threat stuff from Raw, with Swagger destroying Ziggler and Del Rio with the ladder. It's Swagger vs. Langston tonight, as well as Ambrose vs. Bryan.
Jericho is in the ring for the Highlight Reel. His guest tonight is Ryback so we see some clips from Raw with Ryback beating Cena down. Jericho says he sees where Ryback is coming from but Ryback doesn't really care. It's Jericho's show though so he gets to talk about what he wants to. Jericho knows about all the times Shield has beaten Ryback down and all the times he's lost the WWE Championship. He says he's been WWE Champion six times so he understands what Ryback is going through. That's a bit confusing as he only held that title once. He's held six world titles but only one WWE Title.
Anyway Jericho wants to know what Ryback's Rules are. Jericho has gone through a period with people gunning for him because he had a chip on his shoulder the size of the big show. Ryback doesn't care so Jericho talks about how the Jericholics are judging Ryback. The fans understand the difference between beating Rock and Austin in one night and beating a one legged Cena in one night.
Jericho tells Ryback to be careful what he wishes for, because no one will respect him if he wins the title. Ryback says Jericho talks to much and threatens to drop him right now. Jericho says he doesn't think Ryback will do a thing, so here's Teddy to make this the main event. Does Booker do anything on Smackdown anymore? Ryback lays out Jericho with a right hand.
Mark Henry is going to try to pull two tractor trailers tonight to break a world record.
Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes
Non-title of course. Cody trips him down but gets caught in a flip over armdrag as Kofi speeds things up. Rhodes gets in an elbow to the face and hits a knee to Kofi's thigh followed by the front suplex for two. Off to an armbar on the champion but Kofi easily escapes and chops Cody down. A rollup gets two on Rhodes but he rolls through Kofi's spinning crossbody for two. Both finishers miss but as Cody loads up the Disaster Kick he jumps into Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 3:28.
We look at Lesnar destroying HHH's office on Raw. Calling it frightening and a workplace invasion over and over again doesn't make it suck any less than it already did. I don't know about you, but I have a problem getting upset that Lesnar destroyed a bunch of furniture and a TV that the company probably paid for. Oh wait he also broke a replica belt and some photos. How ever will HHH replace those things?
Colter talks about how Swagger is going to climb the ladder like an AMERICAN, one step at a time.
Big E. Langston vs. Jack Swagger
Del Rio is on commentary. Before the match, he slides in a ladder but Swagger kicks Dolph in the face before he can do anything with it. Langston is knocked to the floor but Ziggler dropkicks the ladder into Swagger's face. Del Rio comes in and hits the low superkick to Dolph's face and rams the ladder into his head. Swagger has the ladder thrown at him and Del Rio stands tall atop the ladder. Somewhere in there Ziggler got a concussion and as of this writing, his status is still in doubt for the PPV. No match of course.
Dean Ambrose vs. Daniel Bryan
They slug it out in the corner to start until Bryan hits a running knee to the ribs to take over. Some hard kicks to the back have Ambrose in trouble but he comes back by sending Bryan face first into the buckle. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner and hits a clothesline to set up kicks to Ambrose's chest. Dean rolls to the floor and there's the big suicide dive to take both guys out.
We take a break and come back with Ambrose dropping elbows on Bryan before putting on a cross arm choke. Ambrose transitions into a nerve hold and neck crank, giving him the rest hold trifecta. Bryan fights up but gets kneed in the ribs to stop his comeback cold. A running dropkick gets two for Dean and it's back to the chinlock. Back up and Ambrose misses a charge in the corner, slamming his shoulder into the post.
Bryan fires off the kicks in the corner before putting Dean in the Tree of Woe for even more kicks. A running dropkick to Ambrose's ribs gets two but he comes back with a quick backslide for two. Bryan kicks Dean down again and goes up top for the headbutt, only to be distracted by Shield. The delay makes him switch over to a missile dropkick for two instead.
Dean comes back with a forward belly to back suplex (he picked Bryan up for a belly to back and snapped him forward onto the mat instead) for two. Ambrose is starting to snap and fires off knees to Bryan's face. Bryan grabs the NO Lock out of nowhere but Reigns comes in for the save while the referee is watching Kane and Rollins fight. Dean loads up the bulldog driver but Kofi Kingston runs in for the DQ at 9:21 shown of 12:51.
Shield is cleared out post match.
We recap the Highlight Reel, because we can't remember something that happened 50 minutes ago.
We see a clip from earlier today with Mark Henry attached to a semi truck and pulling it down the road. Apparently that's a warmup and next he'll pull TWO of them, which combine to weigh over 110,000lbs.
Clip from Raw of Sheamus getting taken down by Henry and whipped with a belt. The photos of the welts on his body are rather disturbing. The match at Extreme Rules is a strap match, where you have to touch all four buckles.
We go live to the parking lot where Henry is attached to two semi trucks. Before he starts he promises to destroy Sheamus at the PPV. Henry can't pull it at first but after Striker asks him some annoying questions, Henry gets all fired up and finally pulls them forward. That's rather impressive looking, whether it was rigged or not. Henry is spent....and Sheamus doesn't appear. That's kind of surprising.
The Raw ReBound recounts all of the Ryback/Cena stuff from Raw.
Randy Orton looks at a clip of Big Show knocking him out on Monday. He says that vouching for Big Show got him knocked out twice, which has only made him more venomous.
Big Show vs. Tensai
Tensai pounds away at Big Show and knocks him into the corner with right hands. Not that it matters as Show hits a single right hand and wins in 50 seconds.
Brodus gets speared down by Big Show but before Show can load up the WMD, Orton runs in with an RKO for the giant.
AJ runs into Kaitlyn as she gets another text from her secret admirer. Kaitlyn suggests that it's Dolph and they get into a catty argument until Natalya comes up to scare AJ off. Khali pops up in a Mysterio mask which is his undercover attire. He takes off the mask to reveal that it's actually not Mysterio before leaving. Kaitlyn says the mask isn't really needed and he just needs to keep his ears open. Natalya tells Khali he doesn't have to dress like Rhodes, as he now has a mustache on.
Chris Jericho vs. Ryback
Ryback shoves him into the corner to start but gets caught by a dropkick to put him down. Jericho is thrown to the floor as Ryback shrugs off whatever Chris throws at him. Back in and Ryback pounds Jericho down as the fans chant for the Canadian. Off to a chinlock by Ryback but Jericho fights up and elbows Ryback to the apron for the springboard dropkick. Ryback starts getting fired up but that might be too interesting for a heel so he stops to think instead as we take a break.
Back with Ryback stomping on Jericho in the corner before working over the leg a little bit. Now it's off to a body vice as Ryback can't seem to pick a body part. Jericho fights up but gets caught in a big spinebuster for two as JBL gets annoyed with Josh being an idiot on commentary. Josh: Ryback will be in the ring with John Cena in ten days. JBL: WELL DUH! Off to a neck crank on Jericho as Ryback mocks the fans chanting for him. Back up and Jericho is sent over the top, only to hold on and go up top for an ax handle to the head.
Ryback slams him down again but misses a splash, allowing Jericho to hit a Lionsault to Ryback's back for two. As usual, the announcers are surprised that the Lionsault only got two. The Codebreaker is countered into another spinebuster and there's a jackknife powerbomb to keep the Canadian down. Someone needs to use the powerbomb as a finisher again. It's been far too long. Josh is totally behind Ryback in this match and criticizes Cole for hanging on to Cena, complete with comparing Cole's love of Cena to JR's love of Austin. That's very odd to hear coming from Matthews.
Jericho makes a quick comeback and tries the Walls but Ryback is just too strong. He kicks Jericho away before catching a cross body in a fallaway slam for no cover. The Meathook connects but Chris rolls through Shell Shock into the Walls of Jericho but Ryback easily gets the ropes. Now the Codebreaker hits but Ryback falls out to the floor. Jericho follows him out but gets thrown into the barricade and crotched against the post.....for a DQ at 11:00 shown of 14:30.
Post match Ryback knocks Jericho over the announce table to end the show.
Results
Kofi Kingston b. Cody Rhodes Trouble in Paradise
Dean Ambrose b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Kofi Kingston interfered
Big Show b. Tensai WMD
Chris Jericho b. Ryback via DQ when Ryback sent Jericho into the post
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
James Storm has a torn lower abdominal muscle. No word on how severe it is or if he'll miss ring time.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Randy Orton b. Damien Sandow RKO
R-Truth b. Fandango via countout
Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Jack Swagger interfered
Shield b. Kofi Kingston/Usos Falling Bulldog to Kingston
Antonio Cesaro b. Zack Ryder Neutralizer
Kaitlyn/Funkadactyls b. AJ/Bella Twins Spear to AJ
Sheamus b. Wade Barrett Brogue Kick
Ryback b. Kane Shell Shock
NXT
Damien Sandow b. Baron Corbin Silencer
Paige b. Bayley Paige Turner
Sakamoto vs. Briley Pierce went to a no contest when Conor O'Brian interfered
Kassius Ohno b. Camacho Kassius Clutch
Wyatt Family b. Adrian Neville/Bo Dallas Discus lariat to Dallas
Impact Wrestling
Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Tara/Gail Kim In Yo Face to Tara
Magnus b. Doc Rollup
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode vs. Bad Influence went to a no contest
Kurt Angle/Sting/Abyss b. Aces and 8's Black Hole Slam to D-Von
Smackdown
Kofi Kingston b. Cody Rhodes Trouble in Paradise
Dean Ambrose b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Kofi Kingston interfered
Big Show b. Tensai WMD
Chris Jericho b. Ryback via DQ when Ryback sent Jericho into the post