klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Friday
Derrick Bateman has been released. This isn't much of a surprise.
Briley Pierce, Sakamoto and Audrey Marie have also been released.
Zema Ion has a tumor on his colon which was found during emergency appendectomy surgery.
Impact got a .8, the lowest since October. The viewership was the lowest since last year. It should be noted that there was a big basketball game and several season finales last night.
Smackdown
Date: May 17, 2013
Location: Intrust Bank Arena, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Matthews
It's finally the last show before Extreme Rules. On the Smackdown side (assuming there still is such a thing), the main event has been changed over to Del Rio vs. Swagger in an I Quit match due to Ziggler being injured. As for tonight, expect a lot more hype for the major matches on Sunday, including Ryback vs. Cena. Not with Cena around of course as this is Smackdown but you get the idea. Let's get to it.
We open with the voiceover guy talking about how Ziggler is out of Extreme Rules with a concussion. Also Orton and Big Show will be on MizTV. I believe that was originally going to be the Highlight Reel.
In the arena we have MizTV already set up. Here are Big Show and Orton, complete with clips of both guys being knocked out with the others' finishers. Their match on Sunday will be an extreme rules match meaning anything goes, but Big Show says he has all the weapons he needs on the end of his arms. On Sunday, it's not going to be an RKO but a TKO. Orton says that Big Show is crazy if he thinks Show is going to beat him in Orton's hometown. Randy says this feud is all about trust, so trust him when he says he's taking down the giant at Extreme Rules.
This brings out Swagger and Colter for some reason. Colter talks about how people are really going to remember Sunday night because Swagger is going to become #1 contender, making his America a reality. This brings out Del Rio and Ricardo who say Alberto is going to win on Sunday. Del Rio also calls Colter Jumanji Man.
Now we get to see Mark Henry who says what's going to be remembered about Sunday is Mark Henry setting world records for pulling semis. They're also going to remember him beating up Sheamus within an inch of his life. This brings out Sheamus as we're running out of room out here. He says why wait until Sunday and pulls out a strap to clear the ring.
Post break, Teddy comes out, six man tag, all is right with the world.
Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins vs. Usos
The Usos actually get their full entrance for the first time in months. Jey takes over on Rollins to start and rams him into the corner before bringing in Jimmy. Reigns gets the tag and runs over Jimmy with a clothesline. The beating carries on in the corner before Reigns spears Jimmy down for the pin at 1:40. Total squash.
Kofi tries to make the save for the Usos but gets knocked to the floor. Kingston grabs a chair and sends Shield running.
Teddy welcomes Miz back to Smackdown when Damien Sandow comes up. Damien says he should have his own show since Miz nearly started a riot. Teddy is offered to be a co-producer, but instead he makes Miz vs. Sandow.
We look at the end of the elimination tag on Monday and Ryback attacking Cena's leg.
Tons of Funk vs. Prime Time Players
Brodus pounds on Young to start before it's quickly off to Tensai and an elbow/side slam combo. Young bails to the floor and Titus dives on Tensai as he goes after Darren. O'Neil comes in and runs over Tensai, only to miss a charge into the corner. Hot tag brings in Brodus to splash Young in the corner. A powerslam gets two as Titus makes the save (despite being late and the referee having to pause his count early), only to be thrown to the floor. The double splash ends Young at 2:44.
We look at the dance off or lack thereof from Raw.
Chris Jericho vs. Antonio Cesaro
Feeling out process to start with JBL saying Cesaro is the strongest man in the WWE. When you have another guy on the show earlier who is the strongest man in the world, I have an issue buying that. Then again the WWE Championship is far bigger than the World Heavyweight Championship so it's hard to say. On the WWE App we see Summer pretending to hurt her ankle in the back. Interesting that they never give the sales pitch on Smackdown at all but we get it shoved down our throats on Raw.
Jericho knocks Cesaro to the floor but Antonio comes back with hard chops in the corner to take over. The Canadian comes back with a missile dropkick off the middle rope to send Cesaro to the floor and the springboard dropkick puts him right back down there. We take a break and come back with Cesaro holding a chinlock. Jericho fights up and hits some shoulder blocks followed by a top rope ax handle. Cesaro kicks away from a Walls attempt but the Lionsault hits knees. He picks Jericho up but gets caught by a quick enziguri for two.
A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Jericho as Cesaro stays on the ribs. Cesaro stalks Jericho and puts on another chinlock which isn't exactly working over the ribs. Jericho fights up and goes up top, only to jump into the European uppercut for two. The gutwrench suplex is countered into the Walls and Cesaro taps at 8:28 shown of 11:58.
Post match here's Fandango through the crowd but Jericho catches him. Fandango is run off so Cesaro gets the Codebreaker, just in case he had anyone believing he wasn't a total loser anymore.
Video from Colter/Swagger on extremism, including stuff about Benghazi and budget cuts.
We look at Langston vs. Swagger from Raw which resulted in Del Rio standing tall.
The Miz vs. Damien Sandow
Cody Rhodes is on commentary as he faces Miz at the pre-show on Sunday. Miz quickly takes him down with a headlock but Damien stomps away in the corner to take over. Miz comes back with a clothesline, only to charge into an elbow in the corner. We discuss Cody's bromance with Sandow as Damien bails to the floor to avoid a left hand. Back in and Sandow hits him with a knee lift to take over. Cody grabs a mic and says that everyone should get on their feet and show Damien some respect.
Sandow suplexes him down and drops a knee for two. Wade Barrett is talking about Miz on the WWE App. Not that we can hear what he's saying or anything but you get the idea. Sandow drops Miz throat first on the middle rope before hitting the Russian legsweep. The Wind-Up elbow hits for two and it's off to the chinlock. We go back to the same overused joke of Cody having a mustache similar to some guy from the 30s (actor Errol Flynn in this case) and no one knowing who that is. Miz comes back with the corner clothesline and the top rope ax handle. After knocking Cody to the floor, the figure four ends Damien at 4:54.
Aksana vs. Kaitlyn
Non-title here. Earlier today, Kaitlyn got flowers from her secret admirer. Apparently the secret admirer is now tweeting and Josh thinks he knows who it is. Kaitlyn runs Aksana over with a shoulder block but the reverse DDT is escaped. Josh thinks the admirer is Sin Cara because he wears a mask and therefore is ugly and needs to hide in the shadows.
Aksana drives a knee into Kaitlyn's back as the announcers talk about why JBL should call Aksana. Now we talk about how Josh is poor as Aksana hits a bad Russian legsweep for two. Off to a chinlock on Kaitlyn as the announcers now make thinly veiled references about disgraced Congressmen Mark Sanford and Anthony Weiner, because their scandals were almost two years ago. I'm sure EVERYONE gets what they're talking about, right? Anyway Kaitlyn hits a hard spear for the pin at 3:34.
Video on Lesnar vs. HHH from Raw.
Mark Henry/Big Show/Jack Swagger vs. Alberto Del Rio/Sheamus/Randy Orton
Lillian introduces Ricardo in Spanish and Ricardo introduces Del Rio in English, which might be a first for him. Del Rio and Swagger get things going here with Jack grabbing a headlock. Del Rio comes back with a hard kick to the back for two before firing off more kicks in the corner. Off to Orton as Swagger is in early trouble. Randy pounds away in the corner but Swagger comes back with a shoulder block to Orton's leg.
Orton's leg seems to be just fine though as he snaps off a dropkick to put Swagger down. Back to Del Rio for a dropkick of his own for two. Some forearms to Swagger's back sets up the Backstabber to send Jack out to the floor. A suicide dive puts Swagger down again but as they come back in, a Big Show distraction lets Jack slam Del Rio off the top. Big Show comes in now and stands on Alberto's back and fires off some chops in the corner.
Henry comes in and headbutts Del Rio down before bringing Swagger back in. Alberto gets up a boot in the corner to stop a charging Jack, followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to put him down. Show breaks up the tag though and we take a break. Back with Del Rio kicking out of a leg lock from Swagger before sending him face first into the middle buckle. Big Show breaks up another tag and tries the Alley Oop (backwards falling powerbomb) but Del Rio counters into a hurricanrana.
Sheamus finally gets the tag and cleans house before hitting White Noise on Big Show. That is scary power. The Brogue Kick is caught though and Sheamus walks into a chokeslam for two. Back to Swagger who drops some elbows, only to be caught in the fireman's carry roll to put him back down. Off to Henry who breaks up the attempted tag to Orton. Henry pounds away while shouting about Sheamus taking his beating like a man.
Big Show comes in again and hits rapid fire chops to Sheamus' chest. Swagger is in again and fires off knees to the ribs and a clothesline for no cover. The Vader Bomb hits for two but as he loads up another attempt, Sheamus catches Jack in an electric chair. Hot tag brings in Orton who goes right into his finishing sequence on Swagger, only to be run over by Henry. Sheamus and Show go to the floor as Del Rio kicks Henry in the head. Swagger tries the Patriot Lock on Del Rio but takes the RKO for the pin at 12:04 shown of 15:34.
Results
Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. Usos Spear to Jimmy
Tons of Funk b. Prime Time Players Double Splash to Young
Chris Jericho b. Antonio Cesaro Walls of Jericho
Kaitlyn b. Aksana Spear
Randy Orton/Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show/Mark Henry/Jack Swagger RKO to Swagger
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Extreme Rules 2013
Date: May 19, 2013
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
This is a card that has gotten a long time to build itself up, yet the top matches are still pretty weak. The main events tonight are Ryback challenging John Cena in a last man standing match and HHH facing Brock Lesnar inside a cage. The rest of the card has been built up far better than these matches and should be much more entertaining. Let's get to it.
Pre-Show: The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes
Cody starts fast by trying to jump Miz, only to be caught in a flapjack and a backslide for one. A clothesline puts Rhodes down but a kick to the face misses Cody, allowing him to hit a quick hot shot for two. The release front suplex gets two for Rhodes and it's off to a bodyscissors. Back up and Cody pounds away before putting on an armbar.
A rollup gets two for Rhodes and it's back to the bodyscissors. Miz fights up and hits some kicks to the ribs and head before getting a near fall off a sunset flip. Miz escapes CrossRhodes but the figure four is broken up as well. Cody dives off the ropes and lands in the figure four for the tap out at 4:52.
The opening video focuses on the main events and how tonight is different from the other nights of the year.
Chris Jericho vs. Fandango
This is a rematch from Wrestlemania where Fandango won his debut match in a major upset. Jericho goes after him to start and pounds on Fandango's head to send the dancer out to the floor. Chris follows him out and sends Fandango into the barricade before dancing on the announce table. Back in and Jericho stomps away at Fandango to send him back to the floor. Fandango gets back in and gets a boot up to stop a charging Jericho in the corner to take over.
After a kick to Jericho's ribs we hit the chinlock, only to have Fandango hit him in the ribs for another near fall. A slingshot legdrop gets two for Fandango and it's back to the chinlock. Jericho fights up and hits some shoulder blocks followed by the top rope ax handle for two. Fandango kicks out of the Walls so Jericho goes up top for a crossbody, only to have Fandango roll through for a two count.
Fandango kicks Jericho in the face to keep him down before loading up the guillotine legdrop. Chris rolls away though and hits the Lionsault for a near fall. Can that even be called a finishing move anymore? Fandango tries a sunset flip out of the corner but gets caught in the Walls of Jericho, only to grab the ropes a second later. Jericho charges into a boot in the corner and Fandango goes up, only to dive into the Codebreaker for the pin at 8:32.
Sheamus says that the trucks Henry has been pulling around don't hit back like he does. Tonight, the Celtic Warrior goes extreme.
Video from Raw of Ryback attacking Cena's bad leg.
US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose
Kofi is defending. Rollins and Reigns walk back up into the crowd to keep this as an actual one on one match. Feeling out process to start with Kofi trying a quick Trouble in Paradise but Dean grabs the rope. A hiptoss sends Ambrose down and Kofi pounds away in the corner. Dean comes out of the corner with a clothesline and drops an elbow for one. With Kofi against the ropes, Ambrose hits a hard dropkick for a near fall. Ambrose talks trash and puts on a crossface chicken wing of all things, complete with a grapevine.
Kofi fights up and sends Ambrose face first into the buckle to escape before dropping him with a dropkick. Boom Drop connects but Ambrose backs away before Trouble in Paradise can launch. SOS gets two on Dean and Kofi goes up top, only to be crotched down and caught with a butterfly superplex for two.
Ambrose charges into a kick to the face in the corner and there's a top rope cross body for two for the champion. Dean goes to the apron and there's Trouble in Paradise but it knocks Ambrose to the floor. Kofi throws him back in for two but another Trouble in Paradise only hits ropes. The bulldog driver gives us a new champion at 6:45.
Shield comes out to celebrate post match but doesn't beat Kofi down.
We look at Henry vs. Sheamus, which is built around Henry displaying his power and Sheamus outsmarting him. Tonight they're tied together with a strap and you have to drag your opponent around the ring and touch all four corners in succession (meaning that if you get three but your opponent breaks your momentum, you have to start over again) to win.
Sheamus vs. Mark Henry
There are lights in each cover to keep track of who has touched which with Sheamus having green lights and Henry having red. Sheamus trips Henry down to start and Mark is already ticked off. They slug it out and Sheamus goes back to the leg to put Henry down again. Sheamus gets one corner but Henry easily pulls him to the middle of the ring to break the streak. Henry gets smart by hogtying Sheamus' feet together, only to have Sheamus break the streak after one buckle.
Sheamus knocks him over the top and out to the floor, only to have Sheamus get on the apron and pop Henry in the face. In a smart move, Sheamus runs the apron to get three straight buckles, only to have Henry take him down with a clothesline. Back in and Henry puts Sheamus on his shoulder before walking around to the corners. Sheamus is touching them as he goes along though and it's 3-3. Henry catches on though and headbutts Sheamus down, breaking both streaks. Sheamus comes back with forearms to the face and drops a bunch of knees to slow Henry down.
We finally get to what we wanted to see: Sheamus whipping Henry with the strap. A beaten down Henry has trouble stopping Sheamus from getting to the first three buckles but Sheamus charges into a spinebuster to break his momentum. Back to the floor with Sheamus pulling Henry into the post in a smart move. They go back inside with Sheamus getting three but getting caught in the World's Strongest Slam. Before Henry can drop Sheamus though, the Celtic Warrior bails out and Brogue Kicks Henry down, allowing him to hit the fourth buckle at 7:58.
AJ is on the phone with Dolph when Kaitlyn comes up. Apparently AJ has said she's too distraught to face Kaitlyn so AJ makes fun of the secret admirer. Kaitlyn calls her Looney Tunes and AJ is mad. Kaitlyn quotes Porky Pig which AJ calls appropriate and the beating is on.
Here are Colter and Swagger with Zeb complaining about the IRS and AP phone tapping scandals before ripping into the St. Louis Cardinals for having too many Latin players.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger
This is an I Quit match for the #1 contendership. Del Rio hits a fast clothesline to send Swagger to the floor. A flying knee takes Jack down on the floor and it's already weapons time. Del Rio's first choice is a kendo stick but Del Rio gets caught in a belly to belly to put him down. Swagger pulls the barricade covering off but Alberto sends him into the steps before Jack can do anything else.
Alberto goes after the arm as is his custom before stomping it against the steps. Back in and Swagger gets in some kendo stick shots to give Jack control. The fans want Ziggler but they get more kendo stick shots to Del Rio's leg. Swagger ties Del Rio's arms in the ropes and pounds away at his chest with the stick. Alberto gets his arm free and catches Swagger in the armbreaker while in the ropes, only to fall backwards onto the floor.
Jack brings in a chair but gets caught by an enziguri to put him down. Del Rio fires off his usual clotheslines and the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker followed by the low superkick. Swagger gets caught in the ropes and Del Rio pelts his back with the stick before hitting the Backstabber for good measure. The armbreaker is countered into a belly to belly suplex and the gutwrench suplex puts Del Rio down again. He still won't quit but the no's are getting weaker.
Another powerbomb puts Del Rio down but he grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere. Remember that rope breaks don't count here as they mentioned on Raw. Swagger counters into the Patriot Lock but Del Rio still won't give up. Swagger grapevines the leg but Del Rio won't quit. Out of nowhere, Colter grabs the white towel that Ricardo was carrying and throws it in, which counts as Del Rio quitting, giving Swagger the win at 9:25.
Actually scratch that as another referee comes out and says that Colter threw it in. We look at a replay and the referee says if Del Rio can continue, the match will restart. Del Rio says let's continue so Swagger goes after the leg again. Alberto fires off a superkick to the arm and puts on the armbreaker but Swagger won't say it. Scratch that as he does quit at 13:50.
Ryback says all Cena has left are words, but Cena is a liar. Tonight Ryback Rules and he wins the title.
Tag Titles: Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins vs. HELL NO
This is Texas Tornado rules, meaning all four men are in the ring at the same time. The fact that there were some deaths a few days ago due to tornadoes in Texas makes this bad timing for this gimmick. Kane and Bryan are defending. It's a big brawl to start as you would expect with the champions taking over. Bryan puts Rollins in the surfboard and Kane adds in a low dropkick for two.
Kane gets double teamed down in the corner and then Bryan gets the same treatment. Reigns loads up a powerbomb off the middle rope but Bryan counters into a rana to put everyone down. Kane grabs both Shield members by the throat before shoving them to the floor, allowing Bryan to hit the suicide dive to take both guys out. The champions take turn hitting clotheslines on both guys in the corners before Kane hits the top rope clothesline on Rollins, allowing Bryan to hit the Flying Goat for two.
Bryan gets the NO Lock on Reigns but Rollins finally makes the save. A chokeslam puts Rollins down but Roman catches Kane with the spear. Back up and Reigns shoves Kane into Bryan, only to get caught around the throat. Seth comes in off the top with a knee to Kane's head, allowing Reigns to hit a second spear. Bryan makes the save but can't get the NO Lock on Reigns. Rollins makes the save so Reigns can put Bryan in a torture rack. Seth comes off the top with a knee to the chest, good for the pin and the titles at 7:24.
We look at the pre-show match.
There's going to be a post show with Mick Foley, Wade Barrett, Titus O'Neil and Renee Young.
Big Show vs. Randy Orton
This is an Extreme Rules match, meaning anything goes. Orton agreed to trust Big Show at Wrestlemania but annoyed Big Show by taking the tag himself, causing Show to knock Orton out. Orton gets a big reaction as the hometown boy. Show shrugs off an early flurry by Orton before running Randy down with a big shoulder. JBL incorrectly says that Orton's dad was in the main event of the first Wrestlemania. He was at ringside but not in the match.
We head to the floor with Orton getting in some kendo stick shots, only to have Show take the stick away and break it over his knee. Orton pulls out another stick but Show breaks that one as well. Show puts Orton up against the announce table for a LOUD chop, only to be rammed face first into the post to give Orton a breather. It's ladder time but Show slams it off Orton's head to put Randy down again.
Back inside and Orton's shoulder hits the post but Randy comes back with a dropkick. Orton pounds away in the corner but Show easily picks him up and slams him down for two. Show throws the ladder inside and gets a few chairs for good measure. He sets up the chairs in the corner and bridges the ladder across them like a mini platform. Show lays Orton on the ladder but misses a Vader Bomb and crushes the ladder, giving Orton two.
The Elevated DDT connects and Orton goes into his place. The fans get all fired up and there's the RKO but Big Show kicks out at two. That's one of the few finishers that has been protected over the years so it had to be kicked out of eventually, as in WWE finishers mean nothing anymore.
Orton gets another chair and cracks Show in the back with it over and over again. They head back inside for a shot to the chest, but Big Show hits a spear to put Orton down. Not that it matters though as Orton kicks him in the face and hits an RKO on the chair. Instead of covering though, Orton shakes his head and has a freaky smile on his face. The Punt makes its return and that's enough for the pin at 13:05.
We recap Cena vs. Ryback. At Wrestlemania, Cena won the title while Ryback lost to Mark Henry. The next night Ryback turned on Cena due to Cena constantly leaving him to be beaten down by Shield. Cena injured his ankle on a European tour so tonight it's a last man standing match, playing to Ryback's advantage.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback
Last man standing, which means you have to keep your opponent down for a ten count to win. Also Cena is defending if that wasn't clear. Ryback shoves Cena down to start and the fans chant Goldberg at the challenger. Cena's ankle is strong enough to survive a leapfrog and there's a bulldog to take Ryback down. After Ryback hits some shoulders in the corner, he catches Cena diving off the middle rope in a powerslam for a six count. A gorilla press puts Cena down for eight.
Cena pulls himself to his feet and then pulls the top rope down, sending Ryback out to the floor. With Ryback up at six, John slides a table into the ring. Ryback escapes the AA though and hits his over the shoulder Stunner for an eight count. The table is set up in the corner now but Cena takes Ryback down with some shoulder blocks. Ryback catches him in mid-air though and hits a fallaway slam through the table. Cena makes it up at nine and avoids a charging Ryback, sending him shoulder first into the post.
The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Ryback again counters the AA. A weak spear puts Cena down but Cena pops back up and hits a powerbomb of all things for an eight. Back up and Cena puts him in a kind of choke hold, only to be countered into a spinebuster. That and the Meathook are enough for a seven but Cena grabs the STF out of nowhere. Ryback is out but Cena is pulling in another table just in case. He's up at eight and Ryback is all fired up.
Ryback loads up the Shell Shock but Cena escapes and hits the AA through the table to put both guys down. Both guys get up at nine and Cena goes up, only to get caught in a Shell Shock. Cena gets up at nine and they head to the floor where Cena plows Ryback through the barricade but only for a nine. They head into the crowd where Ryback rips up what looks like a hockey board and knocks Cena senseless with it. It's still not enough though and Cena puts on a sleeper.
After choking Ryback for a good while the monster stays down for nine. Cena puts Ryback on a conveniently placed table and dives off a balcony with a splash through said table. Ryback is again up at nine so Cena sprays him with a fire extinguisher. They head up to the stage with Cena hosing Ryback down again and again before hitting Ryback in the face with the fire extinguisher.
Ryback again gets up at eight but the AA is countered, allowing Ryback to drive Cena through a the set (as in through the electrical light grid and off camera). Both guys are out behind the set with a bunch of glass under them. The referee asks for medics and Cena is out cold as Ryback is helped to his feet. Shouldn't that count as Cena not being up and Ryback winning? The match is thrown out at about 24:00.
Ad for Payback in four weeks.
We recap HHH vs. Lesnar. They've been feuding for a year at this point, trading wins at Summerslam and Wrestlemania. Lesnar then trashed HHH's office and tonight is the rubber match.
The cage has a new design and is higher than the usual one.
Brock Lesnar vs. HHH
You can win by pin, submission or escape. HHH jumps Lesnar in the aisle and rams him into the cage before HHH's entrance music even starts. They get inside the cage with Brock in big trouble early on. A spinebuster puts Lesnar down as JBL goes through Brock's MMA history. Brock counters the Pedigree with a backdrop into the cage before ramming the Game's head into the steel. HHH is thrown into the cage and Brock is already in full control.
The Game sends him into the cage but Brock just smiles and rams him right back into the steel. Brock misses a flying knee into the cage and shouts to Heyman that his knee is hurt. HHH goes up top but Brock is there to meet him. Lesnar is shoved back down though and the knee is hurt again. The facebuster puts Brock down again as HHH is calling some loud spots tonight.
Brock counters the Pedigree attempt into the Kimura but HHH goes back to the knee to escape the hold. A big clothesline puts HHH down and Brock wants the door opened, but a chop block by HHH puts him down again. Now HHH goes for the door but Heyman slams the door on his head. An F5 gets two and Brock tells Heyman to get him a chair. Lesnar hits Trips with the chair but Brock's knee is too hurt to keep going. Another F5 attempt fails as the knee gives out.
Now HHH gets the chair and beats on Brock's knee to send Lesnar into the corner in a heap. A quick Kimura attempt gets Lesnar nowhere and it's Figure Four time. The ropes mean nothing (Heyman: BREAK THE FRIGGIN HOLD!) so Brock has to turn the hold over to escape. With HHH down, Brock tries to climb over the top but HHH gets a chair shot to the bad leg to bring him down. HHH has a big dumb grin on his face and climbs to the top where he pulls out a camouflaged sledgehammer.
Brock gets the hammer away but HHH takes him down and puts on a Sharpshooter of all things. I don't think I've ever seen HHH use that. It's clear that HHH doesn't have a lot of experience with the hold as it's a pretty ugly version. Heyman comes into the ring and gets caught in a Pedigree, but there's one for Brock as well. That only gets two so HHH gets the hammer, only to have Heyman hit him low. A sledgehammer shot to the face puts the Game down but Brock doesn't cover. Brock hits a one legged F5 for the pin at 20:10.
HHH takes awhile to get up to end the show.
Results
Chris Jericho b. Fandango Codebreaker
Dean Ambrose b. Kofi Kingston Bulldog Driver
Sheamus b. Mark Henry Sheamus touched all four corners
Alberto Del Rio b. Jack Swagger Cross Armbreaker
Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. HELL NO Torture Rack/Top Rope Knee Drop Combination to Bryan
Randy Orton b. Big Show Punt
Ryback vs. John Cena went to a no contest
Brock Lesnar b. HHH F5
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Ryback b. Zack Ryder Shell Shock
Prime Time Players b. Tons of Funk Rollup to Clay
Kofi Kingston b. Damien Sandow Trouble in Paradise
Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesaro RKO
John Cena/HELL NO b. Shield Cena last eliminated Ambrose via DQ when Reigns and Rollins interfered
Jack Swagger b. Big E. Langston via countout
AJ b. Natalya Black Widow
NXT
Summer Rae b. Natayla Rollup
Bray Wyatt b. Danny Burch Sister Abigail
Conor O'Brian b. Briley Pierce/Sakamoto Double Flapjack
Big E. Langston b. Damien Sandow Big Ending
Impact Wrestling
Bobby Roode b. Chavo Guerrero via DQ when James Storm interfered
Jay Bradley b. Christian York Boom Stick
Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim Rollup
Kenny King b. Chris Sabin and Petey Williams Royal Flush to Williams
Hernandez b. Christopher Daniels Running shoulder block
Joseph Park b. D'Lo Brown Black Hole Slam
Smackdown
Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. Usos Spear to Jimmy
Tons of Funk b. Prime Time Players Double Splash to Young
Chris Jericho b. Antonio Cesaro Walls of Jericho
Kaitlyn b. Aksana Spear
Randy Orton/Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show/Mark Henry/Jack Swagger RKO to Swagger
Derrick Bateman has been released. This isn't much of a surprise.
Briley Pierce, Sakamoto and Audrey Marie have also been released.
Zema Ion has a tumor on his colon which was found during emergency appendectomy surgery.
Impact got a .8, the lowest since October. The viewership was the lowest since last year. It should be noted that there was a big basketball game and several season finales last night.
Smackdown
Date: May 17, 2013
Location: Intrust Bank Arena, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Matthews
It's finally the last show before Extreme Rules. On the Smackdown side (assuming there still is such a thing), the main event has been changed over to Del Rio vs. Swagger in an I Quit match due to Ziggler being injured. As for tonight, expect a lot more hype for the major matches on Sunday, including Ryback vs. Cena. Not with Cena around of course as this is Smackdown but you get the idea. Let's get to it.
We open with the voiceover guy talking about how Ziggler is out of Extreme Rules with a concussion. Also Orton and Big Show will be on MizTV. I believe that was originally going to be the Highlight Reel.
In the arena we have MizTV already set up. Here are Big Show and Orton, complete with clips of both guys being knocked out with the others' finishers. Their match on Sunday will be an extreme rules match meaning anything goes, but Big Show says he has all the weapons he needs on the end of his arms. On Sunday, it's not going to be an RKO but a TKO. Orton says that Big Show is crazy if he thinks Show is going to beat him in Orton's hometown. Randy says this feud is all about trust, so trust him when he says he's taking down the giant at Extreme Rules.
This brings out Swagger and Colter for some reason. Colter talks about how people are really going to remember Sunday night because Swagger is going to become #1 contender, making his America a reality. This brings out Del Rio and Ricardo who say Alberto is going to win on Sunday. Del Rio also calls Colter Jumanji Man.
Now we get to see Mark Henry who says what's going to be remembered about Sunday is Mark Henry setting world records for pulling semis. They're also going to remember him beating up Sheamus within an inch of his life. This brings out Sheamus as we're running out of room out here. He says why wait until Sunday and pulls out a strap to clear the ring.
Post break, Teddy comes out, six man tag, all is right with the world.
Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins vs. Usos
The Usos actually get their full entrance for the first time in months. Jey takes over on Rollins to start and rams him into the corner before bringing in Jimmy. Reigns gets the tag and runs over Jimmy with a clothesline. The beating carries on in the corner before Reigns spears Jimmy down for the pin at 1:40. Total squash.
Kofi tries to make the save for the Usos but gets knocked to the floor. Kingston grabs a chair and sends Shield running.
Teddy welcomes Miz back to Smackdown when Damien Sandow comes up. Damien says he should have his own show since Miz nearly started a riot. Teddy is offered to be a co-producer, but instead he makes Miz vs. Sandow.
We look at the end of the elimination tag on Monday and Ryback attacking Cena's leg.
Tons of Funk vs. Prime Time Players
Brodus pounds on Young to start before it's quickly off to Tensai and an elbow/side slam combo. Young bails to the floor and Titus dives on Tensai as he goes after Darren. O'Neil comes in and runs over Tensai, only to miss a charge into the corner. Hot tag brings in Brodus to splash Young in the corner. A powerslam gets two as Titus makes the save (despite being late and the referee having to pause his count early), only to be thrown to the floor. The double splash ends Young at 2:44.
We look at the dance off or lack thereof from Raw.
Chris Jericho vs. Antonio Cesaro
Feeling out process to start with JBL saying Cesaro is the strongest man in the WWE. When you have another guy on the show earlier who is the strongest man in the world, I have an issue buying that. Then again the WWE Championship is far bigger than the World Heavyweight Championship so it's hard to say. On the WWE App we see Summer pretending to hurt her ankle in the back. Interesting that they never give the sales pitch on Smackdown at all but we get it shoved down our throats on Raw.
Jericho knocks Cesaro to the floor but Antonio comes back with hard chops in the corner to take over. The Canadian comes back with a missile dropkick off the middle rope to send Cesaro to the floor and the springboard dropkick puts him right back down there. We take a break and come back with Cesaro holding a chinlock. Jericho fights up and hits some shoulder blocks followed by a top rope ax handle. Cesaro kicks away from a Walls attempt but the Lionsault hits knees. He picks Jericho up but gets caught by a quick enziguri for two.
A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Jericho as Cesaro stays on the ribs. Cesaro stalks Jericho and puts on another chinlock which isn't exactly working over the ribs. Jericho fights up and goes up top, only to jump into the European uppercut for two. The gutwrench suplex is countered into the Walls and Cesaro taps at 8:28 shown of 11:58.
Post match here's Fandango through the crowd but Jericho catches him. Fandango is run off so Cesaro gets the Codebreaker, just in case he had anyone believing he wasn't a total loser anymore.
Video from Colter/Swagger on extremism, including stuff about Benghazi and budget cuts.
We look at Langston vs. Swagger from Raw which resulted in Del Rio standing tall.
The Miz vs. Damien Sandow
Cody Rhodes is on commentary as he faces Miz at the pre-show on Sunday. Miz quickly takes him down with a headlock but Damien stomps away in the corner to take over. Miz comes back with a clothesline, only to charge into an elbow in the corner. We discuss Cody's bromance with Sandow as Damien bails to the floor to avoid a left hand. Back in and Sandow hits him with a knee lift to take over. Cody grabs a mic and says that everyone should get on their feet and show Damien some respect.
Sandow suplexes him down and drops a knee for two. Wade Barrett is talking about Miz on the WWE App. Not that we can hear what he's saying or anything but you get the idea. Sandow drops Miz throat first on the middle rope before hitting the Russian legsweep. The Wind-Up elbow hits for two and it's off to the chinlock. We go back to the same overused joke of Cody having a mustache similar to some guy from the 30s (actor Errol Flynn in this case) and no one knowing who that is. Miz comes back with the corner clothesline and the top rope ax handle. After knocking Cody to the floor, the figure four ends Damien at 4:54.
Aksana vs. Kaitlyn
Non-title here. Earlier today, Kaitlyn got flowers from her secret admirer. Apparently the secret admirer is now tweeting and Josh thinks he knows who it is. Kaitlyn runs Aksana over with a shoulder block but the reverse DDT is escaped. Josh thinks the admirer is Sin Cara because he wears a mask and therefore is ugly and needs to hide in the shadows.
Aksana drives a knee into Kaitlyn's back as the announcers talk about why JBL should call Aksana. Now we talk about how Josh is poor as Aksana hits a bad Russian legsweep for two. Off to a chinlock on Kaitlyn as the announcers now make thinly veiled references about disgraced Congressmen Mark Sanford and Anthony Weiner, because their scandals were almost two years ago. I'm sure EVERYONE gets what they're talking about, right? Anyway Kaitlyn hits a hard spear for the pin at 3:34.
Video on Lesnar vs. HHH from Raw.
Mark Henry/Big Show/Jack Swagger vs. Alberto Del Rio/Sheamus/Randy Orton
Lillian introduces Ricardo in Spanish and Ricardo introduces Del Rio in English, which might be a first for him. Del Rio and Swagger get things going here with Jack grabbing a headlock. Del Rio comes back with a hard kick to the back for two before firing off more kicks in the corner. Off to Orton as Swagger is in early trouble. Randy pounds away in the corner but Swagger comes back with a shoulder block to Orton's leg.
Orton's leg seems to be just fine though as he snaps off a dropkick to put Swagger down. Back to Del Rio for a dropkick of his own for two. Some forearms to Swagger's back sets up the Backstabber to send Jack out to the floor. A suicide dive puts Swagger down again but as they come back in, a Big Show distraction lets Jack slam Del Rio off the top. Big Show comes in now and stands on Alberto's back and fires off some chops in the corner.
Henry comes in and headbutts Del Rio down before bringing Swagger back in. Alberto gets up a boot in the corner to stop a charging Jack, followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to put him down. Show breaks up the tag though and we take a break. Back with Del Rio kicking out of a leg lock from Swagger before sending him face first into the middle buckle. Big Show breaks up another tag and tries the Alley Oop (backwards falling powerbomb) but Del Rio counters into a hurricanrana.
Sheamus finally gets the tag and cleans house before hitting White Noise on Big Show. That is scary power. The Brogue Kick is caught though and Sheamus walks into a chokeslam for two. Back to Swagger who drops some elbows, only to be caught in the fireman's carry roll to put him back down. Off to Henry who breaks up the attempted tag to Orton. Henry pounds away while shouting about Sheamus taking his beating like a man.
Big Show comes in again and hits rapid fire chops to Sheamus' chest. Swagger is in again and fires off knees to the ribs and a clothesline for no cover. The Vader Bomb hits for two but as he loads up another attempt, Sheamus catches Jack in an electric chair. Hot tag brings in Orton who goes right into his finishing sequence on Swagger, only to be run over by Henry. Sheamus and Show go to the floor as Del Rio kicks Henry in the head. Swagger tries the Patriot Lock on Del Rio but takes the RKO for the pin at 12:04 shown of 15:34.
Results
Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. Usos Spear to Jimmy
Tons of Funk b. Prime Time Players Double Splash to Young
Chris Jericho b. Antonio Cesaro Walls of Jericho
Kaitlyn b. Aksana Spear
Randy Orton/Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show/Mark Henry/Jack Swagger RKO to Swagger
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Extreme Rules 2013
Date: May 19, 2013
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
This is a card that has gotten a long time to build itself up, yet the top matches are still pretty weak. The main events tonight are Ryback challenging John Cena in a last man standing match and HHH facing Brock Lesnar inside a cage. The rest of the card has been built up far better than these matches and should be much more entertaining. Let's get to it.
Pre-Show: The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes
Cody starts fast by trying to jump Miz, only to be caught in a flapjack and a backslide for one. A clothesline puts Rhodes down but a kick to the face misses Cody, allowing him to hit a quick hot shot for two. The release front suplex gets two for Rhodes and it's off to a bodyscissors. Back up and Cody pounds away before putting on an armbar.
A rollup gets two for Rhodes and it's back to the bodyscissors. Miz fights up and hits some kicks to the ribs and head before getting a near fall off a sunset flip. Miz escapes CrossRhodes but the figure four is broken up as well. Cody dives off the ropes and lands in the figure four for the tap out at 4:52.
The opening video focuses on the main events and how tonight is different from the other nights of the year.
Chris Jericho vs. Fandango
This is a rematch from Wrestlemania where Fandango won his debut match in a major upset. Jericho goes after him to start and pounds on Fandango's head to send the dancer out to the floor. Chris follows him out and sends Fandango into the barricade before dancing on the announce table. Back in and Jericho stomps away at Fandango to send him back to the floor. Fandango gets back in and gets a boot up to stop a charging Jericho in the corner to take over.
After a kick to Jericho's ribs we hit the chinlock, only to have Fandango hit him in the ribs for another near fall. A slingshot legdrop gets two for Fandango and it's back to the chinlock. Jericho fights up and hits some shoulder blocks followed by the top rope ax handle for two. Fandango kicks out of the Walls so Jericho goes up top for a crossbody, only to have Fandango roll through for a two count.
Fandango kicks Jericho in the face to keep him down before loading up the guillotine legdrop. Chris rolls away though and hits the Lionsault for a near fall. Can that even be called a finishing move anymore? Fandango tries a sunset flip out of the corner but gets caught in the Walls of Jericho, only to grab the ropes a second later. Jericho charges into a boot in the corner and Fandango goes up, only to dive into the Codebreaker for the pin at 8:32.
Sheamus says that the trucks Henry has been pulling around don't hit back like he does. Tonight, the Celtic Warrior goes extreme.
Video from Raw of Ryback attacking Cena's bad leg.
US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose
Kofi is defending. Rollins and Reigns walk back up into the crowd to keep this as an actual one on one match. Feeling out process to start with Kofi trying a quick Trouble in Paradise but Dean grabs the rope. A hiptoss sends Ambrose down and Kofi pounds away in the corner. Dean comes out of the corner with a clothesline and drops an elbow for one. With Kofi against the ropes, Ambrose hits a hard dropkick for a near fall. Ambrose talks trash and puts on a crossface chicken wing of all things, complete with a grapevine.
Kofi fights up and sends Ambrose face first into the buckle to escape before dropping him with a dropkick. Boom Drop connects but Ambrose backs away before Trouble in Paradise can launch. SOS gets two on Dean and Kofi goes up top, only to be crotched down and caught with a butterfly superplex for two.
Ambrose charges into a kick to the face in the corner and there's a top rope cross body for two for the champion. Dean goes to the apron and there's Trouble in Paradise but it knocks Ambrose to the floor. Kofi throws him back in for two but another Trouble in Paradise only hits ropes. The bulldog driver gives us a new champion at 6:45.
Shield comes out to celebrate post match but doesn't beat Kofi down.
We look at Henry vs. Sheamus, which is built around Henry displaying his power and Sheamus outsmarting him. Tonight they're tied together with a strap and you have to drag your opponent around the ring and touch all four corners in succession (meaning that if you get three but your opponent breaks your momentum, you have to start over again) to win.
Sheamus vs. Mark Henry
There are lights in each cover to keep track of who has touched which with Sheamus having green lights and Henry having red. Sheamus trips Henry down to start and Mark is already ticked off. They slug it out and Sheamus goes back to the leg to put Henry down again. Sheamus gets one corner but Henry easily pulls him to the middle of the ring to break the streak. Henry gets smart by hogtying Sheamus' feet together, only to have Sheamus break the streak after one buckle.
Sheamus knocks him over the top and out to the floor, only to have Sheamus get on the apron and pop Henry in the face. In a smart move, Sheamus runs the apron to get three straight buckles, only to have Henry take him down with a clothesline. Back in and Henry puts Sheamus on his shoulder before walking around to the corners. Sheamus is touching them as he goes along though and it's 3-3. Henry catches on though and headbutts Sheamus down, breaking both streaks. Sheamus comes back with forearms to the face and drops a bunch of knees to slow Henry down.
We finally get to what we wanted to see: Sheamus whipping Henry with the strap. A beaten down Henry has trouble stopping Sheamus from getting to the first three buckles but Sheamus charges into a spinebuster to break his momentum. Back to the floor with Sheamus pulling Henry into the post in a smart move. They go back inside with Sheamus getting three but getting caught in the World's Strongest Slam. Before Henry can drop Sheamus though, the Celtic Warrior bails out and Brogue Kicks Henry down, allowing him to hit the fourth buckle at 7:58.
AJ is on the phone with Dolph when Kaitlyn comes up. Apparently AJ has said she's too distraught to face Kaitlyn so AJ makes fun of the secret admirer. Kaitlyn calls her Looney Tunes and AJ is mad. Kaitlyn quotes Porky Pig which AJ calls appropriate and the beating is on.
Here are Colter and Swagger with Zeb complaining about the IRS and AP phone tapping scandals before ripping into the St. Louis Cardinals for having too many Latin players.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger
This is an I Quit match for the #1 contendership. Del Rio hits a fast clothesline to send Swagger to the floor. A flying knee takes Jack down on the floor and it's already weapons time. Del Rio's first choice is a kendo stick but Del Rio gets caught in a belly to belly to put him down. Swagger pulls the barricade covering off but Alberto sends him into the steps before Jack can do anything else.
Alberto goes after the arm as is his custom before stomping it against the steps. Back in and Swagger gets in some kendo stick shots to give Jack control. The fans want Ziggler but they get more kendo stick shots to Del Rio's leg. Swagger ties Del Rio's arms in the ropes and pounds away at his chest with the stick. Alberto gets his arm free and catches Swagger in the armbreaker while in the ropes, only to fall backwards onto the floor.
Jack brings in a chair but gets caught by an enziguri to put him down. Del Rio fires off his usual clotheslines and the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker followed by the low superkick. Swagger gets caught in the ropes and Del Rio pelts his back with the stick before hitting the Backstabber for good measure. The armbreaker is countered into a belly to belly suplex and the gutwrench suplex puts Del Rio down again. He still won't quit but the no's are getting weaker.
Another powerbomb puts Del Rio down but he grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere. Remember that rope breaks don't count here as they mentioned on Raw. Swagger counters into the Patriot Lock but Del Rio still won't give up. Swagger grapevines the leg but Del Rio won't quit. Out of nowhere, Colter grabs the white towel that Ricardo was carrying and throws it in, which counts as Del Rio quitting, giving Swagger the win at 9:25.
Actually scratch that as another referee comes out and says that Colter threw it in. We look at a replay and the referee says if Del Rio can continue, the match will restart. Del Rio says let's continue so Swagger goes after the leg again. Alberto fires off a superkick to the arm and puts on the armbreaker but Swagger won't say it. Scratch that as he does quit at 13:50.
Ryback says all Cena has left are words, but Cena is a liar. Tonight Ryback Rules and he wins the title.
Tag Titles: Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins vs. HELL NO
This is Texas Tornado rules, meaning all four men are in the ring at the same time. The fact that there were some deaths a few days ago due to tornadoes in Texas makes this bad timing for this gimmick. Kane and Bryan are defending. It's a big brawl to start as you would expect with the champions taking over. Bryan puts Rollins in the surfboard and Kane adds in a low dropkick for two.
Kane gets double teamed down in the corner and then Bryan gets the same treatment. Reigns loads up a powerbomb off the middle rope but Bryan counters into a rana to put everyone down. Kane grabs both Shield members by the throat before shoving them to the floor, allowing Bryan to hit the suicide dive to take both guys out. The champions take turn hitting clotheslines on both guys in the corners before Kane hits the top rope clothesline on Rollins, allowing Bryan to hit the Flying Goat for two.
Bryan gets the NO Lock on Reigns but Rollins finally makes the save. A chokeslam puts Rollins down but Roman catches Kane with the spear. Back up and Reigns shoves Kane into Bryan, only to get caught around the throat. Seth comes in off the top with a knee to Kane's head, allowing Reigns to hit a second spear. Bryan makes the save but can't get the NO Lock on Reigns. Rollins makes the save so Reigns can put Bryan in a torture rack. Seth comes off the top with a knee to the chest, good for the pin and the titles at 7:24.
We look at the pre-show match.
There's going to be a post show with Mick Foley, Wade Barrett, Titus O'Neil and Renee Young.
Big Show vs. Randy Orton
This is an Extreme Rules match, meaning anything goes. Orton agreed to trust Big Show at Wrestlemania but annoyed Big Show by taking the tag himself, causing Show to knock Orton out. Orton gets a big reaction as the hometown boy. Show shrugs off an early flurry by Orton before running Randy down with a big shoulder. JBL incorrectly says that Orton's dad was in the main event of the first Wrestlemania. He was at ringside but not in the match.
We head to the floor with Orton getting in some kendo stick shots, only to have Show take the stick away and break it over his knee. Orton pulls out another stick but Show breaks that one as well. Show puts Orton up against the announce table for a LOUD chop, only to be rammed face first into the post to give Orton a breather. It's ladder time but Show slams it off Orton's head to put Randy down again.
Back inside and Orton's shoulder hits the post but Randy comes back with a dropkick. Orton pounds away in the corner but Show easily picks him up and slams him down for two. Show throws the ladder inside and gets a few chairs for good measure. He sets up the chairs in the corner and bridges the ladder across them like a mini platform. Show lays Orton on the ladder but misses a Vader Bomb and crushes the ladder, giving Orton two.
The Elevated DDT connects and Orton goes into his place. The fans get all fired up and there's the RKO but Big Show kicks out at two. That's one of the few finishers that has been protected over the years so it had to be kicked out of eventually, as in WWE finishers mean nothing anymore.
Orton gets another chair and cracks Show in the back with it over and over again. They head back inside for a shot to the chest, but Big Show hits a spear to put Orton down. Not that it matters though as Orton kicks him in the face and hits an RKO on the chair. Instead of covering though, Orton shakes his head and has a freaky smile on his face. The Punt makes its return and that's enough for the pin at 13:05.
We recap Cena vs. Ryback. At Wrestlemania, Cena won the title while Ryback lost to Mark Henry. The next night Ryback turned on Cena due to Cena constantly leaving him to be beaten down by Shield. Cena injured his ankle on a European tour so tonight it's a last man standing match, playing to Ryback's advantage.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback
Last man standing, which means you have to keep your opponent down for a ten count to win. Also Cena is defending if that wasn't clear. Ryback shoves Cena down to start and the fans chant Goldberg at the challenger. Cena's ankle is strong enough to survive a leapfrog and there's a bulldog to take Ryback down. After Ryback hits some shoulders in the corner, he catches Cena diving off the middle rope in a powerslam for a six count. A gorilla press puts Cena down for eight.
Cena pulls himself to his feet and then pulls the top rope down, sending Ryback out to the floor. With Ryback up at six, John slides a table into the ring. Ryback escapes the AA though and hits his over the shoulder Stunner for an eight count. The table is set up in the corner now but Cena takes Ryback down with some shoulder blocks. Ryback catches him in mid-air though and hits a fallaway slam through the table. Cena makes it up at nine and avoids a charging Ryback, sending him shoulder first into the post.
The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Ryback again counters the AA. A weak spear puts Cena down but Cena pops back up and hits a powerbomb of all things for an eight. Back up and Cena puts him in a kind of choke hold, only to be countered into a spinebuster. That and the Meathook are enough for a seven but Cena grabs the STF out of nowhere. Ryback is out but Cena is pulling in another table just in case. He's up at eight and Ryback is all fired up.
Ryback loads up the Shell Shock but Cena escapes and hits the AA through the table to put both guys down. Both guys get up at nine and Cena goes up, only to get caught in a Shell Shock. Cena gets up at nine and they head to the floor where Cena plows Ryback through the barricade but only for a nine. They head into the crowd where Ryback rips up what looks like a hockey board and knocks Cena senseless with it. It's still not enough though and Cena puts on a sleeper.
After choking Ryback for a good while the monster stays down for nine. Cena puts Ryback on a conveniently placed table and dives off a balcony with a splash through said table. Ryback is again up at nine so Cena sprays him with a fire extinguisher. They head up to the stage with Cena hosing Ryback down again and again before hitting Ryback in the face with the fire extinguisher.
Ryback again gets up at eight but the AA is countered, allowing Ryback to drive Cena through a the set (as in through the electrical light grid and off camera). Both guys are out behind the set with a bunch of glass under them. The referee asks for medics and Cena is out cold as Ryback is helped to his feet. Shouldn't that count as Cena not being up and Ryback winning? The match is thrown out at about 24:00.
Ad for Payback in four weeks.
We recap HHH vs. Lesnar. They've been feuding for a year at this point, trading wins at Summerslam and Wrestlemania. Lesnar then trashed HHH's office and tonight is the rubber match.
The cage has a new design and is higher than the usual one.
Brock Lesnar vs. HHH
You can win by pin, submission or escape. HHH jumps Lesnar in the aisle and rams him into the cage before HHH's entrance music even starts. They get inside the cage with Brock in big trouble early on. A spinebuster puts Lesnar down as JBL goes through Brock's MMA history. Brock counters the Pedigree with a backdrop into the cage before ramming the Game's head into the steel. HHH is thrown into the cage and Brock is already in full control.
The Game sends him into the cage but Brock just smiles and rams him right back into the steel. Brock misses a flying knee into the cage and shouts to Heyman that his knee is hurt. HHH goes up top but Brock is there to meet him. Lesnar is shoved back down though and the knee is hurt again. The facebuster puts Brock down again as HHH is calling some loud spots tonight.
Brock counters the Pedigree attempt into the Kimura but HHH goes back to the knee to escape the hold. A big clothesline puts HHH down and Brock wants the door opened, but a chop block by HHH puts him down again. Now HHH goes for the door but Heyman slams the door on his head. An F5 gets two and Brock tells Heyman to get him a chair. Lesnar hits Trips with the chair but Brock's knee is too hurt to keep going. Another F5 attempt fails as the knee gives out.
Now HHH gets the chair and beats on Brock's knee to send Lesnar into the corner in a heap. A quick Kimura attempt gets Lesnar nowhere and it's Figure Four time. The ropes mean nothing (Heyman: BREAK THE FRIGGIN HOLD!) so Brock has to turn the hold over to escape. With HHH down, Brock tries to climb over the top but HHH gets a chair shot to the bad leg to bring him down. HHH has a big dumb grin on his face and climbs to the top where he pulls out a camouflaged sledgehammer.
Brock gets the hammer away but HHH takes him down and puts on a Sharpshooter of all things. I don't think I've ever seen HHH use that. It's clear that HHH doesn't have a lot of experience with the hold as it's a pretty ugly version. Heyman comes into the ring and gets caught in a Pedigree, but there's one for Brock as well. That only gets two so HHH gets the hammer, only to have Heyman hit him low. A sledgehammer shot to the face puts the Game down but Brock doesn't cover. Brock hits a one legged F5 for the pin at 20:10.
HHH takes awhile to get up to end the show.
Results
Chris Jericho b. Fandango Codebreaker
Dean Ambrose b. Kofi Kingston Bulldog Driver
Sheamus b. Mark Henry Sheamus touched all four corners
Alberto Del Rio b. Jack Swagger Cross Armbreaker
Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. HELL NO Torture Rack/Top Rope Knee Drop Combination to Bryan
Randy Orton b. Big Show Punt
Ryback vs. John Cena went to a no contest
Brock Lesnar b. HHH F5
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Ryback b. Zack Ryder Shell Shock
Prime Time Players b. Tons of Funk Rollup to Clay
Kofi Kingston b. Damien Sandow Trouble in Paradise
Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesaro RKO
John Cena/HELL NO b. Shield Cena last eliminated Ambrose via DQ when Reigns and Rollins interfered
Jack Swagger b. Big E. Langston via countout
AJ b. Natalya Black Widow
NXT
Summer Rae b. Natayla Rollup
Bray Wyatt b. Danny Burch Sister Abigail
Conor O'Brian b. Briley Pierce/Sakamoto Double Flapjack
Big E. Langston b. Damien Sandow Big Ending
Impact Wrestling
Bobby Roode b. Chavo Guerrero via DQ when James Storm interfered
Jay Bradley b. Christian York Boom Stick
Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim Rollup
Kenny King b. Chris Sabin and Petey Williams Royal Flush to Williams
Hernandez b. Christopher Daniels Running shoulder block
Joseph Park b. D'Lo Brown Black Hole Slam
Smackdown
Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. Usos Spear to Jimmy
Tons of Funk b. Prime Time Players Double Splash to Young
Chris Jericho b. Antonio Cesaro Walls of Jericho
Kaitlyn b. Aksana Spear
Randy Orton/Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show/Mark Henry/Jack Swagger RKO to Swagger