klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 8, 2018
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.
The big story this week is the return of the Miz, but at the same time we need to have someone to challenge Roman Reigns for the Intercontinental Title now that Samoa Joe has been vanquished. I think you might be getting where I’m hinting: Finn Balor with the Club challenges Reigns for the title. I’ve heard of less interesting ideas. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks back at Reigns defeating Samoa Joe last week. I’m still not sure if that’s the right call.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Reigns for the opening chat. Reigns is surprised that Joe came in so unprepared last week because Roman was fighting for his brother Dean Ambrose. If you mess with one member of the Shield, you mess with all of them. Cue Jason Jordan of all people to say that he feels like something special. After ignoring the YOU BOTH SUCK chants, Jordan implies that he’s part of the Shield now and even does the fist.
This brings out Seth Rollins to say Jordan’s timing is horrible. It’s made clear that he’s not part of the Shield but Jordan says they can fight anyone. Jordan thinks they’re pretty good despite not being the Shield, but Reigns and Rollins aren’t convinced. Neither are Finn Balor and the Club, who interrupt next. They talk about their history together, which started way before Jordan even knew who his daddy was.
Then they came here and did their own thing, all with success. The thing is, they all knew they would come together to take over. They get in the ring with Balor saying this is the year of Balor Club. Jordan laughs them off and says he’d rather be in the Champions’ Club. Gallows calls him a NERD so Jordan goes after him, only to quickly be calmed down. Kurt Angle comes out to make the six man main event. Jordan as the misfit works very well here, but I’m not sure where it goes. Balor vs. Reigns could be some good stuff too, especially if it makes me look smart.
Little Mix is doing the Royal Rumble theme song. That would be an all girl band that my fifteen year old cousin loves. Are they that out of band ideas?
Bayley/Sasha Banks vs. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville
Mickie James, now official for the Rumble, and Paige are at ringside. Bayley and Mandy get things going with Mandy pulling her down by the hair. Back up and Bayley shoves her out to the floor as the announcers talk about the Rumble (fair enough in this case). We take a break and come back with Sasha hitting the running double knees for two on Mandy.
Sonya offers a distraction though and a good looking jumping knee drops Banks. A comeback is cut off by some hard, rapid right hands to the ribs in one of the first instances of Sonya looking like an MMA fighter for a change. A double clothesline gives Sasha a breather but Mandy breaks up another hot tag attempt. Everything breaks down and the Bank Statement makes Mandy tap at 10:57.
We look back at the ending of last week’s show with Brock Lesnar and Kane brawling.
We look at Cedric Alexander and Goldust teaming up last week.
Goldust is dressed like Mickey from Rocky and gives Cedric one of Mickey’s speeches. Cedric says he has it because he’s fired up enough to win the title tonight. Goldust says the one thing standing in Cedric’s way is Cedric himself. The voice makes Goldust cough before he says tonight is all about Cedric.
Earlier today, Goldust was doing a time lapse video of putting on his makeup when he found out that Alicia Fox will be his partner for the Mixed Match Challenge.
Matt Hardy vs. Curt Hawkins
Before the match, Matt officially enters the Rumble. Matt has his full on Broken entrance, complete with a theme song talking about being Broken. Hawkins tries an armbar but Matt bites his way to freedom. A snap German suplex into the corner has Hawkins in trouble and a missed middle rope crossbody makes things even worse for him. The Side Effect into the Twist of Fate is enough to end Hawkins at 1:55. Matt looked different enough to make the character feel different, which is a good sign for his future.
Post match Bray Wyatt appears behind Matt and a laugh off ensues. Nothing physical goes down.
Here’s Elias with something to sing. The fans boo his guitar playing but Elias says it was good. He’s got a song about Memphis and Elvis but the fans don’t seem too thrilled with him. Elias: “What’s wrong with Elvis???”. He doesn’t care about Elvis though because there’s a star on the way who is taking over the entertainment biz. Elias: “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Miz.” Nice rhyme there.
The Miz, with the Miztourage, is back and ready to brag about his recent accomplishment. The fans welcome him back (along with his much taller hair) but Miz wants to thank the Miztourage for holding things up while he was gone. Dallas says Miz makes every day Mizmas and Dallas thinks having him back feels like winning the Mizzies every single day. Bo even has a present for Miz: a framed photo of Miz himself. Dallas: “It’s going to be hard to get to sleep without that tonight.” Miz: “….what?”
Axel has his own present: the suit jacket that he’s wearing! Dallas offers his watch and Axel tries his shoes but Miz tells them both to sit down. Miz brags about his 2017 and promises to make it even bigger this year. We see a clip of Shield TripleBombing Miz through a table to put him on the shelf two months ago, which of course requires revenge.
Miz says the champion makes the title and daddy is home. In 2018, he’s celebrating the birth of his daughter and become the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. He’s back for the title and you can believe that. This was the most serious Miz has been on the main roster in a long time and it feels like he’s been elevated a bit, which is long overdue.
Balor Club tries to talk strategy for tonight but Anderson and Gallows would rather make Japan references. They agree to make 2018 the year of Balor Club.
Cruiserweight Title: Enzo Amore vs. Cedric Alexander
Enzo is defending. Before the match, Enzo talks about missing last week’s show but being taken care of by Nia Jax. Last week he was in the hospital and watched the show, which included the Zo Train facing Cedric and Goldust. Then Enzo got it: they were teaming so Cedric can get close to gold, because he’s not winning the title.
Cedric drops him with a single right hand, followed by a kick to the head to really drop Enzo. We see Nia Jax watching in the back as Enzo is pulled away from the ropes to keep Enzo in trouble. Enzo knocks him off the top in a heap though and Cedric is holding his back as we take a break.
Back with Enzo grabbing a chinlock but getting dropkicked out of the air for his efforts. Cedric fights back with some clotheslines followed by the Neuralizer. Another kick sets up a big flip dive but Enzo comes up screaming about his ankle. He’s busted open too as the trainer comes over to check on him but that’s a countout at 8:50.
Post break Enzo is in the trainer’s room when Nia comes to check on him.
Angle is on the phone with some legendary female wrestler about a spot in the Rumble but has to go when the Bar comes in. They want their rematch for the titles and aren’t happy with the six man tag main event. Sheamus claims favoritism but Angle makes the title match at the Rumble. That’s cool with them and Angle gives them a match against some surprise competition tonight. The two of them leave and Miz comes in to brag about his upcoming reality series along with Maryse. Miz wants his rematch for the Intercontinental Title at the 25th anniversary of Raw. Angle thinks it’s a good idea and the match is set.
Earlier today, Miz found out that Asuka will be his partner for the Mixed Match Challenge.
Alexa Bliss comes in to see Asuka and threatens her with Nia Jax. It’s as short as it sounds.
The Bar vs. Titus Worldwide
Sheamus knocks Titus around to start before it’s off to Crews for a dropkick on Cesaro. The standing moonsault gets two but Apollo is sent outside, seeming to bang up his knee in the process. Back in and Sheamus grabs a wristlock as Dana Brooke plays cheerleader. Crews gets over for the tag and the beatdown continues as everything breaks down. Apollo dodges a Brogue Kick by moonsaulting onto Cesaro, allowing Titus to roll Sheamus up for the pin at 5:30.
Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar to talk about old school. The thing is, this is a progressive industry where you need fresh ways to present the ideas to the audience and the general public. They’ve gotten away from the old school way of promoting a Universal Title match (oh come on), which was all about finding a challenger who could possibly pin or tap out a champion.
Now the Universal Title is marketed as how could Brock survive this time. Even Lesnar thinks it sucks. At the Rumble, it’s Brock vs. monster #1 and monster #2 but the only cliffhanger is who Lesnar will pin. Heyman knows no one can beat this man and that’s all that matters. Lesnar goes up the ramp but here’s Kane for the fight.
They fight into the back where Braun Strowman shows up and runs them both over. Brock is thrown into a wall where a big case falls on him. Strowman throws another case onto Kane (that is some scary power) before pulling out….a grappling hook? He attaches it to a big old piece of the set and pulls it down onto both guys for a huge crash, sending Heyman and everyone else behind him into fits of screams. That was quite the set piece and my goodness it should have killed them both. Worry not though, as I’m sure Lesnar will be just fine to lose to Reigns in New Orleans.
I know that’s harped on but it’s the problem with the entire Universal Title picture. Why should I even possibly buy that Strowman, who Lesnar has already beaten, or Kane (because HA) is going to take the title at the Rumble? Even if they do, there’s no way they’re defending it at Wrestlemania because that’s Reigns’ spot and everyone knows it. I know it sounds lame but that’s what goes through my head every time I see anything related to the title.
Post break, Brock was taken out on a stretcher while Kane was allowed to walk away on his own. Well limp away but you get the idea. Lesnar didn’t want to go to the hospital but went anyway.
Samoa Joe vs. Rhyno
Joe starts fast with an enziguri in the corner and a headbutt cuts off Rhyno’s comeback. More right hands give Rhyno a breather until an STO cuts him off. A running big boot into the backsplash gives Joe two, followed by the Koquina Clutch to make Rhyno tap at 2:44. Short and to the point with Joe looking dominant, as he should.
Post match Joe says he’s taken years off of Reigns’ career and the cracks are starting to show. When everything comes crashing down, he’ll be there to pick up the pieces. As for now though, he’s entering the Royal Rumble. Joe is ready for everyone, including John Cena, which is a name that he’ll never forget.
Alexa sucks up to Nia again, this time saying that Enzo might be holding her back. Nia says Enzo motivates her to be a champion so she’s entering the Royal Rumble. She’s Alexa’s favorite to win but thinks Nia should take Asuka out first. Nia doesn’t buy it but Alexa stays on the “Asuka is talking about you” train. Nia: “CAN IT BLISS!”
Alexa whispers something that Asuka said in Nia’s ear and Nia can’t believe Asuka said that….because Asuka doesn’t speak English and Bliss doesn’t speak Japanese. If you ignore the times that Asuka has spoken English, there’s nothing wrong with this segment. Like, EARLIER TONIGHT WHEN SHE TALKED TO MIZ ABOUT THE MIXED MATCH CHALLENGE FOR EXAMPLE!!!
Announced for the 25th anniversary show: Steve Austin! Ric Flair! The Undertaker! Shawn Michaels! THE BELLA TWINS!
Asuka comes out for a match but Nia shows up and lays her out.
Royal Rumble card rundown.
Asuka vs. Nia is set for next week.
Balor Club vs. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins/Jason Jordan
Balor and Rollins start things off with Balor scoring off an early double stomp. It’s off to Anderson in a hurry but Reigns tags himself in so house can be cleaned in a hurry, including a double shoulder to Balor. Back from a break with Reigns working over Balor until a Sling Blade cuts him off. Gallows and Anderson take over in the corner with Luke grabbing a chinlock. Anderson drops a knee and puts on a chinlock of his own.
Back up and Reigns gets in a clothesline to drop Anderson but Gallows won’t give up the hot tag. The third chinlock goes on but Reigns no sells a big boot and scores with a Superman Punch. The hot tag brings in Rollins for the Blockbuster, followed by a Sling Blade on Anderson. Gallows breaks up the Wind-Up knee and Anderson’s spinebuster gets two.
Rollins makes the tag to Reigns but Jordan distracts the referee by mistake so Rollins stays legal. A Magic Killer plants Rollins so Reigns goes outside to fight two on one. Jordan tries to help Rollins up, allowing Balor to hit the shotgun dropkick. The Coup de Grace gives Balor the pin at 15:28.
Post match Miz and the Miztourage come in to attack Rollins, Jordan and Reigns. Roman takes a Skull Crushing Finale and the TripleBomb to end the show.
Results
Bayley/Sasha Banks b. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville – Bank Statement to Rose
Matt Hardy b. Curt Hawkins – Twist of Fate
Cedric Alexander b. Enzo Amore via countout
Titus Worldwide b. The Bar – Rollup to Sheamus
Samoa Joe b. Rhyno – Koquina Clutch
Balor Club b. Roman Reigns/Jason Jordan/Seth Rollins – Coup de Grace to Rollins
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: January 9, 2018
Location: Legacy Arena, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
Things are getting a little dicey around here as the battle of the bosses continues. The big story is Daniel Bryan making a handicap match for the Royal Rumble where AJ Styles will defend the Smackdown World Title against the combined forces of Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. This seems to hint at a Bryan heel turn, which would seem to hint at WWE being really stupid. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with Bryan making the handicap match. Again: if they’re trying to make Bryan a heel as we go into Philadelphia and ultimately New Orleans, they’re dumber than I thought they were.
Renee Young brings out Styles for an interview. AJ kind of regrets saying make it a handicap match but he’ll live with the consequences. He’s looking forward to the Rumble where he can hit them so hard and so fast that he’ll walk out as champion. AJ knows what he’s up against because they can tag in and out but this is the house that he built.
Cue Sami and Kevin with Owens getting right to the point: AJ has no chance of walking out with the title. Sami: “YEP!” Kevin promises to walk out as the first co-WWE Champions. This brings out Shane McMahon to say he’s confused about Bryan’s decision but he’ll support it. As for tonight though, we’ll have another handicap match with Owens and Zayn facing Styles, Randy Orton and Shinsuke Nakamura. You can see the screwy finish coming but it’s a nice idea and makes sense with this story.
Shane and Bryan shake hands in the back.
Becky Lynch vs. Ruby Riott
Becky takes Ruby down to start but Morgan offers a leg trip. That just gets Riott knocked to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Riott holding a bodyscissors and driving knees into the ribs. Becky comes back with some forearms but Ruby kicks her in the ribs again. Not that it matters as the Disarm-Her makes Ruby tap at 8:10.
Earlier today, Sami Zayn surprised Becky Lynch when she was signing autographs to be her Mixed Match Challenge partner.
Bludgeon Brothers vs. Ascension
Breezango isn’t here due to having a match later against Rusev Day. An assisted sitout powerbomb ends Viktor at 34 seconds. I think they’re ready for the Usos already.
US Title Tournament First Round: Zack Ryder vs. Mojo Rawley
The winner faces Bobby Roode, at ringside, in the second round. Rawley charges straight into a pair of knees in the corner but easily takes Ryder down to ram his face into the mat. Zack is right back up for some right hands in the corner, only to eat the running punch in the corner to give Mojo the win at 3:34.
Jinder Mahal is ready to win the United States Champion to get 2018 off to a good start. Xavier Woods better know how to play Taps on his trombone.
Classic Raw clip: Austin and the zamboni.
Earlier today, Natalya was showcasing her selfie taking skills when Shinsuke Nakamura popped up. They’ll be Mixed Match Challenge partners.
Here are Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable to demand justice for not winning the Tag Team Titles last week. Chad asks the fans if they know what it takes to be a winner. They’ve given up everything to succeed but no one here in Birmingham would understand that. Shelton brings up the University of Alabama winning the National Championship last night but the people here had nothing to do with it. The University of Georgia was robbed because of a bad referee call, just like they were last week.
After the required ROLL TIDE chant, Shelton talks about the referee interfering last week when it wasn’t even his match. The other referee came in due to jealousy because he doesn’t know what it takes to be a champion. Chad says they lost to instant referee last week. Chad: “So generic referee #2, get out here right now.” Instead they get Daniel Bryan who says no, because the referee’s decision is final. AS IN THE RULING THAT WAS OVERTURNED???
Benjamin calls him out on that but Bryan just says they didn’t win because they pinned the wrong Uso. Chad asks if this is Dr. Phil and thinks Bryan is taking out his Shane frustrations on them. The ranting continues until Chad asks if they have to beat the Usos twice in one night. Bryan: “THAT’S IT!” There’s going to be a 2/3 falls match for the titles at the Rumble. Is the Rumble going to be another six hour show? There are two Rumbles (that’s two hours) and five more matches, one of which is 2/3 falls. That’s quite the lengthy night.
AJ and Orton talk strategy with Orton saying he wants the title. Nakamura comes in and gives the belt a Too Sweet. Nakamura: “Good talk.”
Rusev Day vs. Breezango
English and Rusev are both in the Rumble (the Rusev Rumble on Rusev Day that is). Fandango suplexes Aiden to start and brings in Breeze for a double kick to the head. We take an early break and come back with Breeze getting superkicked in the ribs but avoiding a Swanton. The hot tag brings in Fandango for some chops but Rusev comes in for the kicks to the chest. A spinwheel kick puts Fandango down and a kick to the head drops Breeze. The distraction lets Fandango roll Rusev up for the pin at 5:20. Not enough shown to rate but do we need more proof of the “get over when we tell you to” theory?
Shane tells Bryan that his matchmaking of late has been off the way and unfair. He asks if Bryan is ok but Bryan points out that Shane is one to talk about being crazy with his decisions, especially given his family history. Shane leaves without arguing that much.
Pay per view rundown.
AJ Styles/Shinsuke Nakamura/Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn
The threat of an RKO sends Owens bailing to the floor before coming back in for some right hands. It’s off to Sami vs. Nakamura as the announcers talk about the Freebird Rule for the potential of co-WWE Champions. A kick to the face sends Sami outside and an attempt at the Styles Clash sends the villains walking up the ramp.
Cue Shane, because we haven’t seen him enough tonight. The match is restarted (it never stopped) with no countouts. Back from a break with AJ fighting Owens off and hitting the fireman’s carry backbreaker. The hot tag brings in Orton for the snap powerslam on Zayn, followed by the hanging DDT. Orton loads up the RKO but Owens chairs him in the ribs for the DQ at….oh of course Shane comes out to say restart it with No DQ.
AJ knocks Owens up the ramp and into the back with a chair, leaving Sami trapped. The chase is on but Sami can’t quite make it over the barricade. Orton loads up the steps and then drops Sami back first onto the announcers’ table. Kinshasa drops Zayn and the RKO is good for the pin at 14:54.
Results
Becky Lynch b. Ruby Riott – Disarm-Her
Bludgeon Brothers b. Ascension – Assisted sitout powerbomb to Viktor
Mojo Rawley b. Zack Ryder – Running punch
Breezango b. Rusev Day – Rollup to Rusev
AJ Styles/Randy Orton/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens – Kinshasa to Zayn
Wednesday
NXT
Date: January 10, 2018
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson
We’re on some hallowed ground tonight as NXT heads to the former home of WCW Saturday Night. The next three shows will be all about setting up Takeover: Philadelphia, which means we need some more matches announced. A good chunk of the card is already set but NXT somehow manages to make the shows building to the big show entertaining as well. Let’s get to it.
The Undisputed Era is ready to start their year of dominance by taking out Sanity once and for all tonight. Adam Cole is ready to start becoming the next NXT Champion. Simple and to the point here with something that you would expect them to say. Just ignore the whole “the beginning of the era of undisputed” making O’Reilly sound like Yoda.
Opening sequence.
The ring is turned to the side here, meaning wrestlers come to a corner when they come down the aisle. It’s an awesome visual and feels different, which is where NXT excels.
Shayna Baszler vs. Dakota Kai
This is both of their NXT in-ring debuts. Before the match we see a clip of Baszler randomly attacking Performance Center trainees for fun because that’s the kind of villain she is. Baszler drives her into the corner to start and takes Kai down into an armbar. A stomp bends Kai’s arm at a NASTY angle and that’s a referee stoppage at 1:23. Total squash and Baszler looked awesome here.
Post match Baszler stays on her until Ember Moon makes the save.
The Authors of Pain are ready to take care of the Street Profits. Since when can the Authors speak English?
General Manager William Regal talks to Baszler, saying that’s not going to get her a title shot. Baszler: “We done here?”
Kassius Ohno vs. Raul Mendoza
They even shake hands to start in a really old school move. Ohno grabs some rollups for a few early near falls but Mendoza is too fast. Mendoza hurricanranas him into a side roll but gets his head elbowed off without too much effort. An inverted Gory Special has Mendoza in more trouble until he reverses into a victory roll.
Back up and Ohno charges into a forearm in the corner, followed by a springboard spinning armdrag to drop Kassius again. Mendoza is showing off some very nice high flying here, which is exactly what he should be doing in a match like this. Ohno shrugs him off though and the High Tension Elbow Strike (running jumping elbow to the back of the head) ends Mendoza at 4:26.
Zelina Vega held a mini press conference saying she and Andrade Cien Almas aren’t worried about Johnny Gargano after beating him twice. That’s a fairy tale and Almas is reality. Vega is amazing at this condescending heel stuff and she’s made Almas that much better.
Johnny Gargano is thrilled to be #1 contender but here’s Velveteen Dream to interrupt. Dream wants a thank you for allowing Gargano to get his spot in the competition because Dream would have won it with ease. Gargano needs to thank him because Dream deserves his spot.
The Street Profits loudly come into Regal’s office and think they deserve a Tag Team Title shot. Regal seems to agree so next week it’s the Street Profits vs. the Authors of Pain in a #1 contenders match. More loudness ensues and Regal smiles.
Lio Rush vs. Lars Sullivan
This could hurt a lot. Rush dodges to start and even slaps Lars in the face. A kick to the jaw staggers Sullivan for a bit but he pulls Rush into the ropes to take over. Rush gets whipped hard into the corner but Lars misses a charge. That’s about it for Rush though as one heck of a clothesline turns him inside out, followed by the Freak Accident for the pin at 1:54.
Post match Sullivan talks about destroying everyone until he ran into a different kind of force. That was Killian Dain and Sullivan wants to see him again. For now though, Rush takes a super Freak Accident to really hammer home the punishment.
The Undisputed Era has attacked Sanity in the back. The Era says that’s it for the title shot.
Here’s the Undisputed Era in the arena for a chat. Cole thinks they’re missing something and Kyle asks where Sanity is. Maybe they forgot about their title shot tonight. Cole says they kicked the chaos out of Sanity but here’s a livid Nikki Cross trying to get at the Era. Referees hold her back but so Regal comes out to cut the Era off again. The boss says the titles are on the line tonight and here’s Roderick Strong to say he’ll fight right now. Strong offers to go find a partner but someone interrupts to say he’ll do it.
Tag Team Titles: Undisputed Era vs. Roderick Strong/Aleister Black
The teams are at different corners than the usual WWE formula with the champs on the left side closer to the hard camera. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen the corners changed in WWE. Fish and O’Reilly are defending and get cleared to the floor, sending us to a break before the bell.
Back with the bell ringing and Black kicking away at both champs. A knee to Kyle’s head gets two and Strong adds a dive to the floor. Back in and Black’s Oklahoma roll gets two on Kyle, followed by an armbar to keep him in trouble. Strong comes in for a chinlock as the champs are still looking for their first offense. Fish finally takes Black’s knee out and we take a break.
Back with Kyle holding the knee and Fish adding a slingshot hilo for two. An exploder suplex gives Fish two but Black kicks O’Reilly away. There’s the double tag to bring in Strong and Fish as everything breaks down. The champs’ Ax and Smash is broken up with a jumping knee to the face and everyone is down. Cue Cole to go after Black, who stalks him into the crowd. Back inside, the champs go High/Low to retain at 11:50.
Post match Black comes in for the brawl but gets taken out. An AA onto an open chair knocks Black cold. The Era poses but here’s Regal to talk about Philadelphia’s extreme history. At Takeover: Philadelphia, Cole vs. Black will be an Extreme Rules match. Cole and Regal stare each other down to end the show.
Results
Shayna Baszler b. Dakota Kai via referee stoppage
Kassius Ohno b. Raul Mendoza – High Tension Elbow Strike
Lars Sullivan b. Lio Rush – Freak Accident
Undisputed Era b. Roderick Strong/Aleister Black – High/Low to Strong
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: January 11, 2018
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash
After last week’s stacked card containing four title matches and a loser leaves town match, it should be interesting to see what the company has for a follow up. There’s a good chance that they won’t have nearly as much to offer tonight and you really can’t blame them on that front. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s major events, including the two title changes and James Storm’s career ending. Thankfully they ignore that stupid World Title clip fest.
Opening sequence.
Here are Bobby Lashley and Dan Lambert to get things going. Impact has surprised Lambert as he never thought it would be this resilient. Lambert is here for two reasons. First is to have a moment of silence for James Storm’s career. Since he’s unemployed, maybe the fans can put together a collection and get him some beer money (good line, as Lambert is still one of the best promos in this company).
Lambert is also here to bring out the newest member of American Top Team. This man could do what Lashley couldn’t do when he put Storm down. Lashley isn’t happy and it’s even worse when the new member is revealed to be KM. We get the shirt presentation before KM says he’s proven himself by taking out everyone in front of him, capped off by helping Lambert to get rid of Storm. KM mentions getting rid of Moose, who comes out way faster than he should. The fight doesn’t last long as Moose gets beaten down until Eddie Edwards makes the save. Lashley has to pull Lambert from the ring.
Like I said, Lambert is a great promo but this story has long passed its expiration date. It’s been going for several months now and there’s no real reason to keep it going at this point. They’ve covered the MMA vs. wrestlers thing (with the MMA guys dominating) and now they’re just regular heels. That’s all well and good and Lambert shifting towards being a regular manager is better, but this is living on borrowed time to put it mildly.
Post break, the obvious tag match is made.
The announcers recap last week’s show again.
Here’s Grand Champion Ethan Carter III to issue an open challenge for the title. First though, Carter needs to mock Matt Sydal for choking over and over again every time he has a chance to win the big one. Sydal chokes so much he might as well play forward for the Ottawa Senators. That gets the expected heat from the crowd and now the open challenge is on.
Grand Championship: Ethan Carter III vs. Petey Williams
Carter is defending of course….and there are no judges or any mention of the round system. Could it be true? Did my New Year’s wish come true? Well at least the one regarding the Grand Championship? The fans are way into Petey and a headscissors makes those cheers even louder. He ties Carter in the Tree of Woe as we hear, for the second time in the match, about what a great comeback story Williams was in 2017.
Carter sends him into the corner and chokes on the rope, followed by a knee to the ribs. A waistlock keeps Petey down for a bit but he reverses into a side roll for two. The Canadian Destroyer is countered into a TK3 for two and Petey is sent outside. As Petey holds his knee, Sydal runs in for the DQ at 4:49. There was no mention made of the round system and judges being dropped.
Allie isn’t happy with Laurel Van Ness attacking her last week. She’s not the weak little Allie anymore and she’s ready to play if Laurel wants to. Much more serious here, but still with a hint of the old Allie in there, as there should be.
Alberto El Patron isn’t happy.
Sydal says Carter can’t call him out and not expect to pay the consequences. He wants a title shot with a sixty minute time limit and no rounds (“That’s out”
and no judges (“They’re gone). If Carter can beat him there, then he’ll get a handshake and a hug. The challenge makes sense, and PLEASE let that be a permanent change.
We see James Storm winning the World Title from Kurt Angle in less than two minutes on October 20, 2011.
KC Spinelli vs. Laurel Van Ness
Non-title. Laurel takes her straight into the corner and knees her in the ribs before yelling at Spinelli for touching her fur coat. Spinelli slaps her right back but gets kicked in the face for her disrespect. A bridging vertical suplex (that’s a new one for some reason) gets two on Laurel and they kick each other in the face at the same time. Laurel is up first and a curb stomp into the Unprettier is good for the pin on Spinelli at 5:22.
Post match Allie comes in and beats on Laurel before holding up the title.
Here are Eli Drake and Chris Adonis for a championship address. Adonis channels a little Rick Rude with a “what we’d like to have right now” to introduce for the champ. Drake calls anyone who lives in this horrible weather year round a dummy before holding up the title. He shifts his attention to Alberto, who came back all upset but then thought he could swim with the big fish.
Drake is standing here with the title and Alberto should have stayed at the bar. He’ll defend the title again next week in Detroit but here’s Alberto to interrupt. Alberto, now a full on face again, says he’d love to beat Drake around the ring next week. He wants to fight now but here’s Johnny Impact to interrupt. Johnny has heard about both of them being in Detroit so he’ll have to join the party. The brawl is on with Johnny getting the better of it. Drake has already beaten both of these guys and I’m really not sure why we need to see these three fight any more, save for the company has nothing else to do at this point.
We look at Raven having his head shaved back in 2003.
Recap of the opening segment.
American Top Team (now just Lambert, Lashley and KM) are in the back and Lambert gives KM all of the credit for getting rid of Storm. Lashley isn’t happy.
Chandler and Joseph Park are glad about Chandler’s win last week. Jimmy Jacobs comes up to ask what happened to Abyss. Jacobs: “You used to be the guy that put people into ambulance and now you’re the guy chasing ambulances.” Chandler, in a nasal voice, stands up to Jacobs because Joseph is family. Jacobs steps aside so Kongo Kong, who Jimmy says is family to him can come in. Chandler: “So scary!” I like the Parks but I could go without seeing Jacobs or Kong ever again, especially the latter.
OVE wrecks LAX’s clubhouse. Good grief ENOUGH BETWEEN THESE TEAMS ALREADY! Post break LAX finds the wrecked clubhouse and says it’s time to go back to their roots. Barbed wire is mentioned.
Cult of Lee/Hakim Zane vs. Dezmond Xavier/Garza Jr./Sonjay Dutt
Garza headbutts Zane around to start and brings in Xavier to trip him up a few times. A dropkick to the back of the head sends Zane outside as everything breaks down. Back from a break with Zane charging into Dutt’s boot in the corner as Lee poses in the corner. Zane actually gets in a few shots to the back and hands it off to Konley for a double arm crank. Lee kicks at the chest as we hear about Ishimori defending the title in Japan.
Even Zane gets to come in for a chinlock until Dutt dropkicks him down. The hot tag brings in Garza to clean house but hang on because IT’S TIME FOR GARZA TO TAKE OFF HIS PANTS! It’s so distracting that Konley and Lee don’t notice Zane’s missile dropkick which hits them by mistake. Dezmond comes in and hits the Final Flash for the pin on Zane at 10:27.
Post match Ishimori comes out and holds up the title in front of Xavier. They shake hands before their title match next week.
Also next week: Kongo Kong vs. Chandler Park and clips of the triple threat match from Detroit. You know, a match we can’t have HERE. Also, a barbed wire match with OVE vs. LAX.
Moose/Eddie Edwards vs. KM/Bobby Lashley
It’s a brawl to start until we settle down to KM vs. Moose. Some chops in the corner have KM in trouble but he avoids Edwards’ elbow, allowing the beatdown to begin. Back from an early break with Lashley slamming Eddie for two but missing a charge to fall outside. Moose comes in for a double elbow to KM, followed by Eddie jumping on Moose’s back for a double backsplash. Edwards gets posted though and the heels take over again.
Lashley’s neckbreaker doesn’t even get one as Moose is in there IMMEDIATELY for the save. Eddie reverses a suplex to put KM down but Lashley breaks up the tag attempt. Lashley charges into a knee though and a middle rope dropkick puts him down. A crawl through the legs is enough to bring in KM and Moose’s middle rope chokebomb gets two. KM gets low bridged to the floor and Eddie follows him out with the suicide dive. Lambert gets in a cheap shot though and KM’s powerbomb into a Backstabber is enough to pin Eddie at
A preview of OVE vs. LAX wraps us up.
Results
Ethan Carter III b. Petey Williams via DQ when Matt Sydal interfered
Laurel Van Ness b. KC Spinelli – Unprettier
Dezmond Xavier/Sonjay Dutt/Garza Jr. b. Cult of Lee/Hakim Zane – Final Flash to Zane
KM/Lashley b. Moose/Eddie Edwards – Powerbomb into a Backstabber to Edwards
Friday
As a result of Paige's injury, her in-ring career is likely over.
Mark Henry is considered retired.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Bayley/Sasha Banks b. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville – Bank Statement to Rose
Matt Hardy b. Curt Hawkins – Twist of Fate
Cedric Alexander b. Enzo Amore via countout
Titus Worldwide b. The Bar – Rollup to Sheamus
Samoa Joe b. Rhyno – Koquina Clutch
Balor Club b. Roman Reigns/Jason Jordan/Seth Rollins – Coup de Grace to Rollins
Smackdown
Becky Lynch b. Ruby Riott – Disarm-Her
Bludgeon Brothers b. Ascension – Assisted sitout powerbomb to Viktor
Mojo Rawley b. Zack Ryder – Running punch
Breezango b. Rusev Day – Rollup to Rusev
AJ Styles/Randy Orton/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens – Kinshasa to Zayn
NXT
Shayna Baszler b. Dakota Kai via referee stoppage
Kassius Ohno b. Raul Mendoza – High Tension Elbow Strike
Lars Sullivan b. Lio Rush – Freak Accident
Undisputed Era b. Roderick Strong/Aleister Black – High/Low to Strong
Impact Wrestling
Ethan Carter III b. Petey Williams via DQ when Matt Sydal interfered
Laurel Van Ness b. KC Spinelli – Unprettier
Dezmond Xavier/Sonjay Dutt/Garza Jr. b. Cult of Lee/Hakim Zane – Final Flash to Zane
KM/Lashley b. Moose/Eddie Edwards – Powerbomb into a Backstabber to Edwards
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 8, 2018
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.
The big story this week is the return of the Miz, but at the same time we need to have someone to challenge Roman Reigns for the Intercontinental Title now that Samoa Joe has been vanquished. I think you might be getting where I’m hinting: Finn Balor with the Club challenges Reigns for the title. I’ve heard of less interesting ideas. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks back at Reigns defeating Samoa Joe last week. I’m still not sure if that’s the right call.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Reigns for the opening chat. Reigns is surprised that Joe came in so unprepared last week because Roman was fighting for his brother Dean Ambrose. If you mess with one member of the Shield, you mess with all of them. Cue Jason Jordan of all people to say that he feels like something special. After ignoring the YOU BOTH SUCK chants, Jordan implies that he’s part of the Shield now and even does the fist.
This brings out Seth Rollins to say Jordan’s timing is horrible. It’s made clear that he’s not part of the Shield but Jordan says they can fight anyone. Jordan thinks they’re pretty good despite not being the Shield, but Reigns and Rollins aren’t convinced. Neither are Finn Balor and the Club, who interrupt next. They talk about their history together, which started way before Jordan even knew who his daddy was.
Then they came here and did their own thing, all with success. The thing is, they all knew they would come together to take over. They get in the ring with Balor saying this is the year of Balor Club. Jordan laughs them off and says he’d rather be in the Champions’ Club. Gallows calls him a NERD so Jordan goes after him, only to quickly be calmed down. Kurt Angle comes out to make the six man main event. Jordan as the misfit works very well here, but I’m not sure where it goes. Balor vs. Reigns could be some good stuff too, especially if it makes me look smart.
Little Mix is doing the Royal Rumble theme song. That would be an all girl band that my fifteen year old cousin loves. Are they that out of band ideas?
Bayley/Sasha Banks vs. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville
Mickie James, now official for the Rumble, and Paige are at ringside. Bayley and Mandy get things going with Mandy pulling her down by the hair. Back up and Bayley shoves her out to the floor as the announcers talk about the Rumble (fair enough in this case). We take a break and come back with Sasha hitting the running double knees for two on Mandy.
Sonya offers a distraction though and a good looking jumping knee drops Banks. A comeback is cut off by some hard, rapid right hands to the ribs in one of the first instances of Sonya looking like an MMA fighter for a change. A double clothesline gives Sasha a breather but Mandy breaks up another hot tag attempt. Everything breaks down and the Bank Statement makes Mandy tap at 10:57.
We look back at the ending of last week’s show with Brock Lesnar and Kane brawling.
We look at Cedric Alexander and Goldust teaming up last week.
Goldust is dressed like Mickey from Rocky and gives Cedric one of Mickey’s speeches. Cedric says he has it because he’s fired up enough to win the title tonight. Goldust says the one thing standing in Cedric’s way is Cedric himself. The voice makes Goldust cough before he says tonight is all about Cedric.
Earlier today, Goldust was doing a time lapse video of putting on his makeup when he found out that Alicia Fox will be his partner for the Mixed Match Challenge.
Matt Hardy vs. Curt Hawkins
Before the match, Matt officially enters the Rumble. Matt has his full on Broken entrance, complete with a theme song talking about being Broken. Hawkins tries an armbar but Matt bites his way to freedom. A snap German suplex into the corner has Hawkins in trouble and a missed middle rope crossbody makes things even worse for him. The Side Effect into the Twist of Fate is enough to end Hawkins at 1:55. Matt looked different enough to make the character feel different, which is a good sign for his future.
Post match Bray Wyatt appears behind Matt and a laugh off ensues. Nothing physical goes down.
Here’s Elias with something to sing. The fans boo his guitar playing but Elias says it was good. He’s got a song about Memphis and Elvis but the fans don’t seem too thrilled with him. Elias: “What’s wrong with Elvis???”. He doesn’t care about Elvis though because there’s a star on the way who is taking over the entertainment biz. Elias: “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Miz.” Nice rhyme there.
The Miz, with the Miztourage, is back and ready to brag about his recent accomplishment. The fans welcome him back (along with his much taller hair) but Miz wants to thank the Miztourage for holding things up while he was gone. Dallas says Miz makes every day Mizmas and Dallas thinks having him back feels like winning the Mizzies every single day. Bo even has a present for Miz: a framed photo of Miz himself. Dallas: “It’s going to be hard to get to sleep without that tonight.” Miz: “….what?”
Axel has his own present: the suit jacket that he’s wearing! Dallas offers his watch and Axel tries his shoes but Miz tells them both to sit down. Miz brags about his 2017 and promises to make it even bigger this year. We see a clip of Shield TripleBombing Miz through a table to put him on the shelf two months ago, which of course requires revenge.
Miz says the champion makes the title and daddy is home. In 2018, he’s celebrating the birth of his daughter and become the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. He’s back for the title and you can believe that. This was the most serious Miz has been on the main roster in a long time and it feels like he’s been elevated a bit, which is long overdue.
Balor Club tries to talk strategy for tonight but Anderson and Gallows would rather make Japan references. They agree to make 2018 the year of Balor Club.
Cruiserweight Title: Enzo Amore vs. Cedric Alexander
Enzo is defending. Before the match, Enzo talks about missing last week’s show but being taken care of by Nia Jax. Last week he was in the hospital and watched the show, which included the Zo Train facing Cedric and Goldust. Then Enzo got it: they were teaming so Cedric can get close to gold, because he’s not winning the title.
Cedric drops him with a single right hand, followed by a kick to the head to really drop Enzo. We see Nia Jax watching in the back as Enzo is pulled away from the ropes to keep Enzo in trouble. Enzo knocks him off the top in a heap though and Cedric is holding his back as we take a break.
Back with Enzo grabbing a chinlock but getting dropkicked out of the air for his efforts. Cedric fights back with some clotheslines followed by the Neuralizer. Another kick sets up a big flip dive but Enzo comes up screaming about his ankle. He’s busted open too as the trainer comes over to check on him but that’s a countout at 8:50.
Post break Enzo is in the trainer’s room when Nia comes to check on him.
Angle is on the phone with some legendary female wrestler about a spot in the Rumble but has to go when the Bar comes in. They want their rematch for the titles and aren’t happy with the six man tag main event. Sheamus claims favoritism but Angle makes the title match at the Rumble. That’s cool with them and Angle gives them a match against some surprise competition tonight. The two of them leave and Miz comes in to brag about his upcoming reality series along with Maryse. Miz wants his rematch for the Intercontinental Title at the 25th anniversary of Raw. Angle thinks it’s a good idea and the match is set.
Earlier today, Miz found out that Asuka will be his partner for the Mixed Match Challenge.
Alexa Bliss comes in to see Asuka and threatens her with Nia Jax. It’s as short as it sounds.
The Bar vs. Titus Worldwide
Sheamus knocks Titus around to start before it’s off to Crews for a dropkick on Cesaro. The standing moonsault gets two but Apollo is sent outside, seeming to bang up his knee in the process. Back in and Sheamus grabs a wristlock as Dana Brooke plays cheerleader. Crews gets over for the tag and the beatdown continues as everything breaks down. Apollo dodges a Brogue Kick by moonsaulting onto Cesaro, allowing Titus to roll Sheamus up for the pin at 5:30.
Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar to talk about old school. The thing is, this is a progressive industry where you need fresh ways to present the ideas to the audience and the general public. They’ve gotten away from the old school way of promoting a Universal Title match (oh come on), which was all about finding a challenger who could possibly pin or tap out a champion.
Now the Universal Title is marketed as how could Brock survive this time. Even Lesnar thinks it sucks. At the Rumble, it’s Brock vs. monster #1 and monster #2 but the only cliffhanger is who Lesnar will pin. Heyman knows no one can beat this man and that’s all that matters. Lesnar goes up the ramp but here’s Kane for the fight.
They fight into the back where Braun Strowman shows up and runs them both over. Brock is thrown into a wall where a big case falls on him. Strowman throws another case onto Kane (that is some scary power) before pulling out….a grappling hook? He attaches it to a big old piece of the set and pulls it down onto both guys for a huge crash, sending Heyman and everyone else behind him into fits of screams. That was quite the set piece and my goodness it should have killed them both. Worry not though, as I’m sure Lesnar will be just fine to lose to Reigns in New Orleans.
I know that’s harped on but it’s the problem with the entire Universal Title picture. Why should I even possibly buy that Strowman, who Lesnar has already beaten, or Kane (because HA) is going to take the title at the Rumble? Even if they do, there’s no way they’re defending it at Wrestlemania because that’s Reigns’ spot and everyone knows it. I know it sounds lame but that’s what goes through my head every time I see anything related to the title.
Post break, Brock was taken out on a stretcher while Kane was allowed to walk away on his own. Well limp away but you get the idea. Lesnar didn’t want to go to the hospital but went anyway.
Samoa Joe vs. Rhyno
Joe starts fast with an enziguri in the corner and a headbutt cuts off Rhyno’s comeback. More right hands give Rhyno a breather until an STO cuts him off. A running big boot into the backsplash gives Joe two, followed by the Koquina Clutch to make Rhyno tap at 2:44. Short and to the point with Joe looking dominant, as he should.
Post match Joe says he’s taken years off of Reigns’ career and the cracks are starting to show. When everything comes crashing down, he’ll be there to pick up the pieces. As for now though, he’s entering the Royal Rumble. Joe is ready for everyone, including John Cena, which is a name that he’ll never forget.
Alexa sucks up to Nia again, this time saying that Enzo might be holding her back. Nia says Enzo motivates her to be a champion so she’s entering the Royal Rumble. She’s Alexa’s favorite to win but thinks Nia should take Asuka out first. Nia doesn’t buy it but Alexa stays on the “Asuka is talking about you” train. Nia: “CAN IT BLISS!”
Alexa whispers something that Asuka said in Nia’s ear and Nia can’t believe Asuka said that….because Asuka doesn’t speak English and Bliss doesn’t speak Japanese. If you ignore the times that Asuka has spoken English, there’s nothing wrong with this segment. Like, EARLIER TONIGHT WHEN SHE TALKED TO MIZ ABOUT THE MIXED MATCH CHALLENGE FOR EXAMPLE!!!
Announced for the 25th anniversary show: Steve Austin! Ric Flair! The Undertaker! Shawn Michaels! THE BELLA TWINS!
Asuka comes out for a match but Nia shows up and lays her out.
Royal Rumble card rundown.
Asuka vs. Nia is set for next week.
Balor Club vs. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins/Jason Jordan
Balor and Rollins start things off with Balor scoring off an early double stomp. It’s off to Anderson in a hurry but Reigns tags himself in so house can be cleaned in a hurry, including a double shoulder to Balor. Back from a break with Reigns working over Balor until a Sling Blade cuts him off. Gallows and Anderson take over in the corner with Luke grabbing a chinlock. Anderson drops a knee and puts on a chinlock of his own.
Back up and Reigns gets in a clothesline to drop Anderson but Gallows won’t give up the hot tag. The third chinlock goes on but Reigns no sells a big boot and scores with a Superman Punch. The hot tag brings in Rollins for the Blockbuster, followed by a Sling Blade on Anderson. Gallows breaks up the Wind-Up knee and Anderson’s spinebuster gets two.
Rollins makes the tag to Reigns but Jordan distracts the referee by mistake so Rollins stays legal. A Magic Killer plants Rollins so Reigns goes outside to fight two on one. Jordan tries to help Rollins up, allowing Balor to hit the shotgun dropkick. The Coup de Grace gives Balor the pin at 15:28.
Post match Miz and the Miztourage come in to attack Rollins, Jordan and Reigns. Roman takes a Skull Crushing Finale and the TripleBomb to end the show.
Results
Bayley/Sasha Banks b. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville – Bank Statement to Rose
Matt Hardy b. Curt Hawkins – Twist of Fate
Cedric Alexander b. Enzo Amore via countout
Titus Worldwide b. The Bar – Rollup to Sheamus
Samoa Joe b. Rhyno – Koquina Clutch
Balor Club b. Roman Reigns/Jason Jordan/Seth Rollins – Coup de Grace to Rollins
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: January 9, 2018
Location: Legacy Arena, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
Things are getting a little dicey around here as the battle of the bosses continues. The big story is Daniel Bryan making a handicap match for the Royal Rumble where AJ Styles will defend the Smackdown World Title against the combined forces of Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. This seems to hint at a Bryan heel turn, which would seem to hint at WWE being really stupid. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with Bryan making the handicap match. Again: if they’re trying to make Bryan a heel as we go into Philadelphia and ultimately New Orleans, they’re dumber than I thought they were.
Renee Young brings out Styles for an interview. AJ kind of regrets saying make it a handicap match but he’ll live with the consequences. He’s looking forward to the Rumble where he can hit them so hard and so fast that he’ll walk out as champion. AJ knows what he’s up against because they can tag in and out but this is the house that he built.
Cue Sami and Kevin with Owens getting right to the point: AJ has no chance of walking out with the title. Sami: “YEP!” Kevin promises to walk out as the first co-WWE Champions. This brings out Shane McMahon to say he’s confused about Bryan’s decision but he’ll support it. As for tonight though, we’ll have another handicap match with Owens and Zayn facing Styles, Randy Orton and Shinsuke Nakamura. You can see the screwy finish coming but it’s a nice idea and makes sense with this story.
Shane and Bryan shake hands in the back.
Becky Lynch vs. Ruby Riott
Becky takes Ruby down to start but Morgan offers a leg trip. That just gets Riott knocked to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Riott holding a bodyscissors and driving knees into the ribs. Becky comes back with some forearms but Ruby kicks her in the ribs again. Not that it matters as the Disarm-Her makes Ruby tap at 8:10.
Earlier today, Sami Zayn surprised Becky Lynch when she was signing autographs to be her Mixed Match Challenge partner.
Bludgeon Brothers vs. Ascension
Breezango isn’t here due to having a match later against Rusev Day. An assisted sitout powerbomb ends Viktor at 34 seconds. I think they’re ready for the Usos already.
US Title Tournament First Round: Zack Ryder vs. Mojo Rawley
The winner faces Bobby Roode, at ringside, in the second round. Rawley charges straight into a pair of knees in the corner but easily takes Ryder down to ram his face into the mat. Zack is right back up for some right hands in the corner, only to eat the running punch in the corner to give Mojo the win at 3:34.
Jinder Mahal is ready to win the United States Champion to get 2018 off to a good start. Xavier Woods better know how to play Taps on his trombone.
Classic Raw clip: Austin and the zamboni.
Earlier today, Natalya was showcasing her selfie taking skills when Shinsuke Nakamura popped up. They’ll be Mixed Match Challenge partners.
Here are Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable to demand justice for not winning the Tag Team Titles last week. Chad asks the fans if they know what it takes to be a winner. They’ve given up everything to succeed but no one here in Birmingham would understand that. Shelton brings up the University of Alabama winning the National Championship last night but the people here had nothing to do with it. The University of Georgia was robbed because of a bad referee call, just like they were last week.
After the required ROLL TIDE chant, Shelton talks about the referee interfering last week when it wasn’t even his match. The other referee came in due to jealousy because he doesn’t know what it takes to be a champion. Chad says they lost to instant referee last week. Chad: “So generic referee #2, get out here right now.” Instead they get Daniel Bryan who says no, because the referee’s decision is final. AS IN THE RULING THAT WAS OVERTURNED???
Benjamin calls him out on that but Bryan just says they didn’t win because they pinned the wrong Uso. Chad asks if this is Dr. Phil and thinks Bryan is taking out his Shane frustrations on them. The ranting continues until Chad asks if they have to beat the Usos twice in one night. Bryan: “THAT’S IT!” There’s going to be a 2/3 falls match for the titles at the Rumble. Is the Rumble going to be another six hour show? There are two Rumbles (that’s two hours) and five more matches, one of which is 2/3 falls. That’s quite the lengthy night.
AJ and Orton talk strategy with Orton saying he wants the title. Nakamura comes in and gives the belt a Too Sweet. Nakamura: “Good talk.”
Rusev Day vs. Breezango
English and Rusev are both in the Rumble (the Rusev Rumble on Rusev Day that is). Fandango suplexes Aiden to start and brings in Breeze for a double kick to the head. We take an early break and come back with Breeze getting superkicked in the ribs but avoiding a Swanton. The hot tag brings in Fandango for some chops but Rusev comes in for the kicks to the chest. A spinwheel kick puts Fandango down and a kick to the head drops Breeze. The distraction lets Fandango roll Rusev up for the pin at 5:20. Not enough shown to rate but do we need more proof of the “get over when we tell you to” theory?
Shane tells Bryan that his matchmaking of late has been off the way and unfair. He asks if Bryan is ok but Bryan points out that Shane is one to talk about being crazy with his decisions, especially given his family history. Shane leaves without arguing that much.
Pay per view rundown.
AJ Styles/Shinsuke Nakamura/Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn
The threat of an RKO sends Owens bailing to the floor before coming back in for some right hands. It’s off to Sami vs. Nakamura as the announcers talk about the Freebird Rule for the potential of co-WWE Champions. A kick to the face sends Sami outside and an attempt at the Styles Clash sends the villains walking up the ramp.
Cue Shane, because we haven’t seen him enough tonight. The match is restarted (it never stopped) with no countouts. Back from a break with AJ fighting Owens off and hitting the fireman’s carry backbreaker. The hot tag brings in Orton for the snap powerslam on Zayn, followed by the hanging DDT. Orton loads up the RKO but Owens chairs him in the ribs for the DQ at….oh of course Shane comes out to say restart it with No DQ.
AJ knocks Owens up the ramp and into the back with a chair, leaving Sami trapped. The chase is on but Sami can’t quite make it over the barricade. Orton loads up the steps and then drops Sami back first onto the announcers’ table. Kinshasa drops Zayn and the RKO is good for the pin at 14:54.
Results
Becky Lynch b. Ruby Riott – Disarm-Her
Bludgeon Brothers b. Ascension – Assisted sitout powerbomb to Viktor
Mojo Rawley b. Zack Ryder – Running punch
Breezango b. Rusev Day – Rollup to Rusev
AJ Styles/Randy Orton/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens – Kinshasa to Zayn
Wednesday
NXT
Date: January 10, 2018
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson
We’re on some hallowed ground tonight as NXT heads to the former home of WCW Saturday Night. The next three shows will be all about setting up Takeover: Philadelphia, which means we need some more matches announced. A good chunk of the card is already set but NXT somehow manages to make the shows building to the big show entertaining as well. Let’s get to it.
The Undisputed Era is ready to start their year of dominance by taking out Sanity once and for all tonight. Adam Cole is ready to start becoming the next NXT Champion. Simple and to the point here with something that you would expect them to say. Just ignore the whole “the beginning of the era of undisputed” making O’Reilly sound like Yoda.
Opening sequence.
The ring is turned to the side here, meaning wrestlers come to a corner when they come down the aisle. It’s an awesome visual and feels different, which is where NXT excels.
Shayna Baszler vs. Dakota Kai
This is both of their NXT in-ring debuts. Before the match we see a clip of Baszler randomly attacking Performance Center trainees for fun because that’s the kind of villain she is. Baszler drives her into the corner to start and takes Kai down into an armbar. A stomp bends Kai’s arm at a NASTY angle and that’s a referee stoppage at 1:23. Total squash and Baszler looked awesome here.
Post match Baszler stays on her until Ember Moon makes the save.
The Authors of Pain are ready to take care of the Street Profits. Since when can the Authors speak English?
General Manager William Regal talks to Baszler, saying that’s not going to get her a title shot. Baszler: “We done here?”
Kassius Ohno vs. Raul Mendoza
They even shake hands to start in a really old school move. Ohno grabs some rollups for a few early near falls but Mendoza is too fast. Mendoza hurricanranas him into a side roll but gets his head elbowed off without too much effort. An inverted Gory Special has Mendoza in more trouble until he reverses into a victory roll.
Back up and Ohno charges into a forearm in the corner, followed by a springboard spinning armdrag to drop Kassius again. Mendoza is showing off some very nice high flying here, which is exactly what he should be doing in a match like this. Ohno shrugs him off though and the High Tension Elbow Strike (running jumping elbow to the back of the head) ends Mendoza at 4:26.
Zelina Vega held a mini press conference saying she and Andrade Cien Almas aren’t worried about Johnny Gargano after beating him twice. That’s a fairy tale and Almas is reality. Vega is amazing at this condescending heel stuff and she’s made Almas that much better.
Johnny Gargano is thrilled to be #1 contender but here’s Velveteen Dream to interrupt. Dream wants a thank you for allowing Gargano to get his spot in the competition because Dream would have won it with ease. Gargano needs to thank him because Dream deserves his spot.
The Street Profits loudly come into Regal’s office and think they deserve a Tag Team Title shot. Regal seems to agree so next week it’s the Street Profits vs. the Authors of Pain in a #1 contenders match. More loudness ensues and Regal smiles.
Lio Rush vs. Lars Sullivan
This could hurt a lot. Rush dodges to start and even slaps Lars in the face. A kick to the jaw staggers Sullivan for a bit but he pulls Rush into the ropes to take over. Rush gets whipped hard into the corner but Lars misses a charge. That’s about it for Rush though as one heck of a clothesline turns him inside out, followed by the Freak Accident for the pin at 1:54.
Post match Sullivan talks about destroying everyone until he ran into a different kind of force. That was Killian Dain and Sullivan wants to see him again. For now though, Rush takes a super Freak Accident to really hammer home the punishment.
The Undisputed Era has attacked Sanity in the back. The Era says that’s it for the title shot.
Here’s the Undisputed Era in the arena for a chat. Cole thinks they’re missing something and Kyle asks where Sanity is. Maybe they forgot about their title shot tonight. Cole says they kicked the chaos out of Sanity but here’s a livid Nikki Cross trying to get at the Era. Referees hold her back but so Regal comes out to cut the Era off again. The boss says the titles are on the line tonight and here’s Roderick Strong to say he’ll fight right now. Strong offers to go find a partner but someone interrupts to say he’ll do it.
Tag Team Titles: Undisputed Era vs. Roderick Strong/Aleister Black
The teams are at different corners than the usual WWE formula with the champs on the left side closer to the hard camera. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen the corners changed in WWE. Fish and O’Reilly are defending and get cleared to the floor, sending us to a break before the bell.
Back with the bell ringing and Black kicking away at both champs. A knee to Kyle’s head gets two and Strong adds a dive to the floor. Back in and Black’s Oklahoma roll gets two on Kyle, followed by an armbar to keep him in trouble. Strong comes in for a chinlock as the champs are still looking for their first offense. Fish finally takes Black’s knee out and we take a break.
Back with Kyle holding the knee and Fish adding a slingshot hilo for two. An exploder suplex gives Fish two but Black kicks O’Reilly away. There’s the double tag to bring in Strong and Fish as everything breaks down. The champs’ Ax and Smash is broken up with a jumping knee to the face and everyone is down. Cue Cole to go after Black, who stalks him into the crowd. Back inside, the champs go High/Low to retain at 11:50.
Post match Black comes in for the brawl but gets taken out. An AA onto an open chair knocks Black cold. The Era poses but here’s Regal to talk about Philadelphia’s extreme history. At Takeover: Philadelphia, Cole vs. Black will be an Extreme Rules match. Cole and Regal stare each other down to end the show.
Results
Shayna Baszler b. Dakota Kai via referee stoppage
Kassius Ohno b. Raul Mendoza – High Tension Elbow Strike
Lars Sullivan b. Lio Rush – Freak Accident
Undisputed Era b. Roderick Strong/Aleister Black – High/Low to Strong
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: January 11, 2018
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash
After last week’s stacked card containing four title matches and a loser leaves town match, it should be interesting to see what the company has for a follow up. There’s a good chance that they won’t have nearly as much to offer tonight and you really can’t blame them on that front. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s major events, including the two title changes and James Storm’s career ending. Thankfully they ignore that stupid World Title clip fest.
Opening sequence.
Here are Bobby Lashley and Dan Lambert to get things going. Impact has surprised Lambert as he never thought it would be this resilient. Lambert is here for two reasons. First is to have a moment of silence for James Storm’s career. Since he’s unemployed, maybe the fans can put together a collection and get him some beer money (good line, as Lambert is still one of the best promos in this company).
Lambert is also here to bring out the newest member of American Top Team. This man could do what Lashley couldn’t do when he put Storm down. Lashley isn’t happy and it’s even worse when the new member is revealed to be KM. We get the shirt presentation before KM says he’s proven himself by taking out everyone in front of him, capped off by helping Lambert to get rid of Storm. KM mentions getting rid of Moose, who comes out way faster than he should. The fight doesn’t last long as Moose gets beaten down until Eddie Edwards makes the save. Lashley has to pull Lambert from the ring.
Like I said, Lambert is a great promo but this story has long passed its expiration date. It’s been going for several months now and there’s no real reason to keep it going at this point. They’ve covered the MMA vs. wrestlers thing (with the MMA guys dominating) and now they’re just regular heels. That’s all well and good and Lambert shifting towards being a regular manager is better, but this is living on borrowed time to put it mildly.
Post break, the obvious tag match is made.
The announcers recap last week’s show again.
Here’s Grand Champion Ethan Carter III to issue an open challenge for the title. First though, Carter needs to mock Matt Sydal for choking over and over again every time he has a chance to win the big one. Sydal chokes so much he might as well play forward for the Ottawa Senators. That gets the expected heat from the crowd and now the open challenge is on.
Grand Championship: Ethan Carter III vs. Petey Williams
Carter is defending of course….and there are no judges or any mention of the round system. Could it be true? Did my New Year’s wish come true? Well at least the one regarding the Grand Championship? The fans are way into Petey and a headscissors makes those cheers even louder. He ties Carter in the Tree of Woe as we hear, for the second time in the match, about what a great comeback story Williams was in 2017.
Carter sends him into the corner and chokes on the rope, followed by a knee to the ribs. A waistlock keeps Petey down for a bit but he reverses into a side roll for two. The Canadian Destroyer is countered into a TK3 for two and Petey is sent outside. As Petey holds his knee, Sydal runs in for the DQ at 4:49. There was no mention made of the round system and judges being dropped.
Allie isn’t happy with Laurel Van Ness attacking her last week. She’s not the weak little Allie anymore and she’s ready to play if Laurel wants to. Much more serious here, but still with a hint of the old Allie in there, as there should be.
Alberto El Patron isn’t happy.
Sydal says Carter can’t call him out and not expect to pay the consequences. He wants a title shot with a sixty minute time limit and no rounds (“That’s out”
and no judges (“They’re gone). If Carter can beat him there, then he’ll get a handshake and a hug. The challenge makes sense, and PLEASE let that be a permanent change.We see James Storm winning the World Title from Kurt Angle in less than two minutes on October 20, 2011.
KC Spinelli vs. Laurel Van Ness
Non-title. Laurel takes her straight into the corner and knees her in the ribs before yelling at Spinelli for touching her fur coat. Spinelli slaps her right back but gets kicked in the face for her disrespect. A bridging vertical suplex (that’s a new one for some reason) gets two on Laurel and they kick each other in the face at the same time. Laurel is up first and a curb stomp into the Unprettier is good for the pin on Spinelli at 5:22.
Post match Allie comes in and beats on Laurel before holding up the title.
Here are Eli Drake and Chris Adonis for a championship address. Adonis channels a little Rick Rude with a “what we’d like to have right now” to introduce for the champ. Drake calls anyone who lives in this horrible weather year round a dummy before holding up the title. He shifts his attention to Alberto, who came back all upset but then thought he could swim with the big fish.
Drake is standing here with the title and Alberto should have stayed at the bar. He’ll defend the title again next week in Detroit but here’s Alberto to interrupt. Alberto, now a full on face again, says he’d love to beat Drake around the ring next week. He wants to fight now but here’s Johnny Impact to interrupt. Johnny has heard about both of them being in Detroit so he’ll have to join the party. The brawl is on with Johnny getting the better of it. Drake has already beaten both of these guys and I’m really not sure why we need to see these three fight any more, save for the company has nothing else to do at this point.
We look at Raven having his head shaved back in 2003.
Recap of the opening segment.
American Top Team (now just Lambert, Lashley and KM) are in the back and Lambert gives KM all of the credit for getting rid of Storm. Lashley isn’t happy.
Chandler and Joseph Park are glad about Chandler’s win last week. Jimmy Jacobs comes up to ask what happened to Abyss. Jacobs: “You used to be the guy that put people into ambulance and now you’re the guy chasing ambulances.” Chandler, in a nasal voice, stands up to Jacobs because Joseph is family. Jacobs steps aside so Kongo Kong, who Jimmy says is family to him can come in. Chandler: “So scary!” I like the Parks but I could go without seeing Jacobs or Kong ever again, especially the latter.
OVE wrecks LAX’s clubhouse. Good grief ENOUGH BETWEEN THESE TEAMS ALREADY! Post break LAX finds the wrecked clubhouse and says it’s time to go back to their roots. Barbed wire is mentioned.
Cult of Lee/Hakim Zane vs. Dezmond Xavier/Garza Jr./Sonjay Dutt
Garza headbutts Zane around to start and brings in Xavier to trip him up a few times. A dropkick to the back of the head sends Zane outside as everything breaks down. Back from a break with Zane charging into Dutt’s boot in the corner as Lee poses in the corner. Zane actually gets in a few shots to the back and hands it off to Konley for a double arm crank. Lee kicks at the chest as we hear about Ishimori defending the title in Japan.
Even Zane gets to come in for a chinlock until Dutt dropkicks him down. The hot tag brings in Garza to clean house but hang on because IT’S TIME FOR GARZA TO TAKE OFF HIS PANTS! It’s so distracting that Konley and Lee don’t notice Zane’s missile dropkick which hits them by mistake. Dezmond comes in and hits the Final Flash for the pin on Zane at 10:27.
Post match Ishimori comes out and holds up the title in front of Xavier. They shake hands before their title match next week.
Also next week: Kongo Kong vs. Chandler Park and clips of the triple threat match from Detroit. You know, a match we can’t have HERE. Also, a barbed wire match with OVE vs. LAX.
Moose/Eddie Edwards vs. KM/Bobby Lashley
It’s a brawl to start until we settle down to KM vs. Moose. Some chops in the corner have KM in trouble but he avoids Edwards’ elbow, allowing the beatdown to begin. Back from an early break with Lashley slamming Eddie for two but missing a charge to fall outside. Moose comes in for a double elbow to KM, followed by Eddie jumping on Moose’s back for a double backsplash. Edwards gets posted though and the heels take over again.
Lashley’s neckbreaker doesn’t even get one as Moose is in there IMMEDIATELY for the save. Eddie reverses a suplex to put KM down but Lashley breaks up the tag attempt. Lashley charges into a knee though and a middle rope dropkick puts him down. A crawl through the legs is enough to bring in KM and Moose’s middle rope chokebomb gets two. KM gets low bridged to the floor and Eddie follows him out with the suicide dive. Lambert gets in a cheap shot though and KM’s powerbomb into a Backstabber is enough to pin Eddie at
A preview of OVE vs. LAX wraps us up.
Results
Ethan Carter III b. Petey Williams via DQ when Matt Sydal interfered
Laurel Van Ness b. KC Spinelli – Unprettier
Dezmond Xavier/Sonjay Dutt/Garza Jr. b. Cult of Lee/Hakim Zane – Final Flash to Zane
KM/Lashley b. Moose/Eddie Edwards – Powerbomb into a Backstabber to Edwards
Friday
As a result of Paige's injury, her in-ring career is likely over.
Mark Henry is considered retired.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Bayley/Sasha Banks b. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville – Bank Statement to Rose
Matt Hardy b. Curt Hawkins – Twist of Fate
Cedric Alexander b. Enzo Amore via countout
Titus Worldwide b. The Bar – Rollup to Sheamus
Samoa Joe b. Rhyno – Koquina Clutch
Balor Club b. Roman Reigns/Jason Jordan/Seth Rollins – Coup de Grace to Rollins
Smackdown
Becky Lynch b. Ruby Riott – Disarm-Her
Bludgeon Brothers b. Ascension – Assisted sitout powerbomb to Viktor
Mojo Rawley b. Zack Ryder – Running punch
Breezango b. Rusev Day – Rollup to Rusev
AJ Styles/Randy Orton/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens – Kinshasa to Zayn
NXT
Shayna Baszler b. Dakota Kai via referee stoppage
Kassius Ohno b. Raul Mendoza – High Tension Elbow Strike
Lars Sullivan b. Lio Rush – Freak Accident
Undisputed Era b. Roderick Strong/Aleister Black – High/Low to Strong
Impact Wrestling
Ethan Carter III b. Petey Williams via DQ when Matt Sydal interfered
Laurel Van Ness b. KC Spinelli – Unprettier
Dezmond Xavier/Sonjay Dutt/Garza Jr. b. Cult of Lee/Hakim Zane – Final Flash to Zane
KM/Lashley b. Moose/Eddie Edwards – Powerbomb into a Backstabber to Edwards