klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Smackdown got a 2.1, up a bit from last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 28, 2013
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
The Rumble is over now and the big stories are Rock winning the title and Cena winning the Rumble, likely setting up a title rematch that I don't think many people are interested in seeing. Tonight is also Raw Roulette which is a gimmick that this show flat out doesn't need. We should be getting ready for Wrestlemania but instead we get a night of gimmick matches and lame jokes instead. Let's get to it.
We open with Vickie who has three roulette wheels behind her. One has superstars, one has stipulations and one has a bunch of HILARIOUS gimmicks on it. First up is Cesaro vs. Orton which gets a special referee.
Here are Punk and Heyman to the ring and they are TICKED. Punk says this is day 435 and he goes on a RANT about how he's still champion and that he didn't lose. Ropes are kicked and tiny pieces of hair follicles are probably pulled out. Punk says Rock couldn't beat him without anyone's help and that makes the fans cheaters. Vince and Rock are swindlers and Punk is going to crash Rock's party tonight.
This brings out Vince who has this big goofy grin on his face. Punk calls him every insulting name he can think of but Vince says that he has proof that Heyman was behind the Shield attacks. Heyman: “Sir if I may...” Vince: “YOU MAY NOT!” Vince says he'll be evaluating Heyman later tonight which might result in his firing. This was a pretty fast ending.
Randy Orton vs. Antonio Cesaro
The guest referee is the Miz, which I said before his music hit. This was obvious because Cesaro pinned Miz clean last night, meaning the feud must continue. Anyway this is joined in progress after a break with Orton getting two off something we didn't see. Cesaro pounds away in the corner but gets clotheslined down again. A suplex gets two for Orton and we head to the floor where Cesaro's back is sent into the barricade.
Back in and Orton slingshots Antonio's throat into the ropes for two. Miz has done nothing of note so far. They trade European uppercuts with Cesaro taking over. Orton comes right back with a BIG backdrop to send Cesaro to the floor as we take another break. Back with Cesaro guillotining Orton on the top rope and heading to the floor for a bit. Back in and there's a cravate for a bit before Randy charges into a falcon's arrow for two.
Off to a chinlock but Orton fights out of it with his usual stuff including the powerslam. Cesaro comes back with a jumping back elbow off the middle rope (looked great) for two. He argues with Miz, allowing Orton to hit the backbreaker. Cesaro pokes Orton in the eye and gets in an argument with Miz, allowing Orton to hit the RKO for the pin at 12:45 shown.
Miz hits Cesaro with the Finale and looks at the Mania sign.
The next spin is by Ryback and he gets to make Vickie laugh. He starts by snorting at her and walking away.
Here's Ryback to the ring and after a break we see Andre Agassi and Stefi Graf in the audience. The Prime Time Players, Ryback and Matt Striker are in the ring. Apparently this is a joke off. The Players make a joke about Striker's luck with women that isn't funny and didn't make a lot of sense. Ryback asks what has four eyes, twenty fingers, and is about to be unconscious. The beating begins and Young runs away. Striker declares Ryback the winner and gets Shell Shocked too.
Backlund HOF video again.
Wade Barrett gets to pick his opponent tonight.
Wade Barrett vs. Bo Dallas
Dallas eliminated Barrett from the Rumble last and is the rookie from NXT. They fight in the corner a bit but Barrett hits his kick to the ribs to take over. Barrett loads up the Bull Hammer but charges into a belly to belly suplex for the shocking pin at 2:12. There's Barrett's first real feud as champion.
Cody Rhodes spins John Cena which is up next.
We hear about Cena being on Fruity Pebbles boxes, replacing Fred Flintstone. As stupid as it sounds, that's a pretty big deal.
Cody Rhoes vs. John Cena
Cena starts fast with a dropkick and a fisherman's suplex to send Rhodes to the floor. Cody says this is a waste of his talents and walks away, only for Cena to throw him right back in. The usual finishes for Cena at 1:56.
Cena talks about how some people don't seem thrilled that he won. There were 30 people in the match last night but he's the guy that won. Throwing Ryback out to win is the first step towards Wrestlemania, where he can face a champion of his choosing. Cena says this is a difficult step, but first let's pause to tell Cena he sucks. Apparently it's going to be either Rock or Punk for some reason. I didn't hear talk of a rematch. Cena says that he can face Punk again but he's come up short in six tries to win the title. But I thought Cena never lost anything.
On the other hand is the Rock. Cena talks about talking down about Rock even before Rock returned so that when Rock showed up again, there would be only one possible candidate. Then Cena spent a year feuding with Rock and there were times Cena showed him up completely. Everything was perfect until April 1 when he lost everything he had spent a year doing.
Cena says Rock won and there's the chant for the champion. He asks which one he should challenge: the guy he has even money to beat or one of the two guys he seemingly never could beat. Cena makes his decision right now: the WWE Champion, whoever that is at Mania. That smells like a three way to me.
Before Cena can leave, cue the Shield to surround the ring. The beating is on, which basically kills the Cena leads the Shield rumors. Sheamus tries to make the save but here's Ryback for the real save. Six man tag at Elimination Chamber maybe? Either way a big brawl breaks out with Sheamus being posted. Cena tries to fight them off again but gets beaten down. The TripleBomb leaves Cena laying.
Brodus and Tensai are going to have a lingerie pillow fight but Tensai says no way. They spin the other wheel and it's a dance off but Tensai didn't see it. COMEDY is coming people!
We see everything WWE did in Phoenix this week.
Time for the dance off but Tensai first takes off a robe to reveal women's lingerie. Brodus has a heart attack. It's time for the dance off with Brodus going first. Tensai doesn't want to dance but Lawler says what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Tensai does some very awkward stuff including Gangam Style and some other outdated stuff. The guy that got to beat Punk and Cena last year everybody. Ron Simmons pops up for his one word. JBL: “I know that guy.”
Del Rio gets a body slam challenge with Big Show.
It's time for the body slam challenge but Big Show knocks Del Rio out. He tapes the champion up to the rope and destroys Ricardo while Alberto has to watch. This goes on for awhile and is rather awesome with Del Rio being tortured mentally while Ricardo got the physical part. Also the revenge will be SWEET.
Kaitlyn vs. Tamina
This is a showgirl lumberjill match. The girls are in showgirl outfits which look good but the lumberjill stuff is played already. This is non-title too. Tamina takes over to start and takes Katilyn down with a chinlock. Kaitlyn is thrown to the floor and beats up I think Aksana in the process. Tamina gets hit by a headdress and Kaitlyn goes after her with some decent aggression. That goes out the window as she puts the hat on Kaitlyn but the girls all come in for the no contest at 2:58. Nothing to see here.
Here's Rock to address the people. He says that the word to sum up the title win is FINALLY, because it's been a long journey. Rock has won seven WWE Championships before but this one means more than any. He thanks the people and says the days of CM Punk saying the people mean nothing are over. Rock gets in his usual jabs at Punk and Heyman but here's the ex-champion.
Punk says that he earned the title unlike rock who had it handed to him. If Rock has any respect at all, he would hand the championship back to Punk right now. Rock says come get it and says Punk can either come get it or stand up there like a coward. Punk comes to the ring but says he's staying on the stage. He wants a rematch and lists off some places he'll be this weekend but finally says let's do it at Elimination Chamber. Also, this is ROCK's rematch, not Punk's. Rock says let's do it.
Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow
This is a tables match because RANDOM! Sheamus seems to be favoring his left arm. Sandow runs to the floor to start and Sheamus is fine with beating him up out there. A table is set up in front of the ramp but Sandow runs away from it. We head to the other side of the ring where Damien finally dropkicks him down to take over. Another table is set up but instead Sheamus just throws it at him. Back in and Sandow takes out the injured (by the Shield) shoulder with a DDT. Apparently it's Sheamus' birthday today. Ok then.
Damien brings in another table and kind of Pillmanizes the arm with the table legs. Sheamus comes back with ease but misses a Brogue Kick that would have sent Sandow through a table. Damien charges but gets caught by the slingshot shoulder. Sandow hits him in the arm again and drops the Wind-Up Elbow. Sheamus is thrown ribs first into the side of a table in a painful looking move. Sandow goes up top, only to get shoved down to the apron for the ten forearms. A suplex back in doesn't work but White Noise through the table in the corner is enough for the win at 7:21.
It's time for WWE Karaoke with Ryder and Khali and company as the contestants. Khali gets to sing Shawn's theme song but after nearly crushing Shawn's entire career, 3MB interrupts. Drew: “Whoa whoa whoooooooooooooa sweet child of mine.” I love Drew McIntyre now. He gets chopped in the head for his efforts and it's a Rough Ryder for Mahal. The big chop and Tadpole Splash (Horny is part of “and company”
take out Slater.
Here's Jericho's latest return to Raw. He welcomes us to Raw is Jericho and thanks all of the Jericholics for watching at home, which is something he'll neeeeeeeeeeeeeever forget a-gain. This brings out Team Ziggler with the namesake pointing out that Jericho is gone thanks to losing to Dolph six months ago. AJ says that was her idea but Jericho says put a leash on her already.
Langston says Jericho should leave before Big E. ruins the return. Jericho: “What does the E stand for? Your bra size?” Vickie pops up on screen and says she signed Jericho back to Raw and he gets to face Dolph tonight in a Strange Bedfellows match. In other words, they get to team up to fight HELL NO.
HELL NO vs. Dolph Ziggler/Chris Jericho
Ziglger and Kane start things off with the unlikely partners bickering as we take a break about 25 seconds into the match. Back with Jericho being tagged in reluctantly, only to take both Kane and the legal Bryan down. The Walls to Bryan can't work and HELL NO collides. Jericho lets them fight and they start shoving each other. Ziggler tags himself in but Jericho slaps Kane in the back, leaving Ziggler alone in the ring. Chokeslam ends Ziggler at 5:40, over half of which was in commercial.
Here's Vince to give Heyman his job evaluation. Before Paul comes out, Vince says Punk has been escorted from the building. They shake hands so Vince uses some liquid soap. He asks Heyman if Paul is behind the Shield or Maddox but Paul denies it. Vince asks Heyman if he's ever lied. Heyman says something Vince's dad says before saying of course he's lied every day because promoters have to do that to survive. However, right now he isn't lying of course.
Vince asks the fans if Heyman has an honest face or if he's an honest man. The fans chant no so let's go to the tape that Vince has. It's of Heyman and Maddox in the dark somewhere with Heyman saying turn the camera off. The audio keeps going though and the cameraman turns it back on. Heyman talks about paying Maddox off to screw Ryback in the Cell and paying the Shield in general. He says he and Punk have been doing it together and the Shield comes up to surround Maddox. Maddox begs and is beaten down anyway as the camera goes out.
Back in the arena and Heyman is panicking. Fans: “YOU GOT BUSTED!” Heyman says that wasn't him in the video and that Vince knows what it's like to be falsely accused. Paul says he has a thick New York Jewish accent and it's easy to impersonate. Heyman goes on a big rant about being falsely accused because of his success and saying that wasn't him again. Vince says he's going to have to future endeavor Heyman but LESNAR!
Brock is back (in bright yellow shoes) and circles the ring before getting inside to face Vince. He gets in Vince's face and they touch noses. Vince says Lesnar shouldn't do something he'll regret later. Lesnar keeps telling Heyman to go back to the corner. He nods at Heyman and it's an F5 for Vince as Heyman screams NO.
Results
Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesaro – RKO
Bo Dallas b. Wade Barrett – Belly to belly suplex
John Cena b. Cody Rhodes – Attitude Adjustment
Kaitlyn vs. Tamina went to a no contest
Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – White Noise through a table
HELL NO b. Chris Jericho/Dolph Ziggler
Tuesday
TLC got 190,000 buys, down slightly from last year.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: January 30, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: William Regal, Tony Dawson
This is the second week of the tag team title tournament and my guess is we'll get two more first round matches tonight. Other than that we've got Conor O'Brien challenging Langston for the title next week which should be interesting given that we haven't seen Conor since Cameron was released. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the announcement of the title tournament and the first two matches. For the first time we get to see the full brackets:
Wyatt Family
Bo Dallas/Michael McGillicutty
Primo/Epico
Alex Riley/Derrick Bateman
Leo Kruger/Kassius Ohno
Oliver Grey/Adrian Neville
Welcome Home.
NXT Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Alex Riley/Derrick Bateman vs. Kassius Ohno/Leo Kruger
Bateman and Kruger get us going with a kneeling staredown. The fans are behind Bateman despite him not being seen in months. They fight over some basic holds to start before it's off to Riley. Kruger hides in the corner before bringing in Ohno. Kassius doesn't seem impressed so Riley takes him down with an armdrag into an armbar. Riley hits a big dropkick as Regal talks about why wrestlers drop down (“They don't want to get hit.”.
Back to Derrick who knocks Kassius to the floor and we take a break. We come back to see Kruger in a Bateman armbar followed by Bateman pounding away in the corner. A running knee in the corner misses Kruger though and that's the knee that kept him out for four months. Back to Ohno who cranks on the knee a bit before Kruger comes in to do the same.
Kassius is looking at Regal as Leo tags him in. Kind of odd as Regal hasn't done anything to Ohno in a few weeks but whatever. Anyway Ohno comes in and puts on another leg lock before tagging back to Kruger. Leo hooks a kneeling half crab and a Robinsdale Crunch before bringing Ohno back in for a spinning toe hold. I like how they're mixing the holds and moves up instead of using the same ones over and over again. It's so boring when people do that.
Bateman kicks Ohno away and makes the hot tag to Riley. Things speed up and Riley hits a spinebuster and falling forward DDT out of the corner for two. Everything breaks down and Ohno hits a big boot on Riley to set up what looks like an arm trap cravate for the tap out at 10:51 shown of 14:21.
Mason Ryan vs. Sakamoto
There's a name we haven't seen in a long time. Ryan is still a musclehead but he's a big less cut up now which might be a good thing for him. Sakamoto tries to hide in the corner but gets thrown across the ring by the throat. A cross body is caught in a backbreaker and fallaway slam by Ryan before it's time for a trapezius hold. That doesn't last long so Mason ends him with a Jackhammer at 2:19. The fans call Ryan boring and I can't say I disagree. He's just a power guy who uses power moves and that's it.
Aksana vs. Paige
Aksana takes over to start and shows off some “power” before crawling around on the mat. With a boot in Paige's back Aksana pulls on her limbs for a bit but here's Paige's comeback. She pounds away on Aksana a bit before hooking a kneeling Sharpshooter with her knee in Aksana's back for the tap out at 2:59. Paige continues to impress.
Post match Summer Rae runs in and jumps Paige from behind.
Sasha Banks is very excited about winning last week. She thinks the sky is the limit but here's a delivery guy with a letter. Apparently Sasha has a secret admirer.
NXT Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Primo/Epico vs. Michael McGillicutty/Bo Dallas
Epico has his hair down here which makes him a lot easier to distinguish from his partner. Primo and Dallas start things off with Primo being shoved into the corner. Dallas sends him to the outside before it's off to Epico. The cousins take over but almost as soon as Primo comes back in, Dallas is able to regain control. An atomic drop gets two and it's off to McGillicutty. A double back elbow gets two as does a backbreaker by McGillicutty.
Back to Dallas for a pretty sweet back and forth double teaming sequence (starting with a Dallas right, a McGillicutty knee lift and a Dallas clothesline) for two. Michael counters an Epico dropkick to send him to the outside. We take a break and come back with Michael hitting a running dropkick but having to beat up the illegal Primo, allowing Epico to dropkick McGillicutty to the floor.
Back in an Epico hits a slingshot hilo for two on Michael as Rosa gyrates a bit. Primo hooks a chinlock with a bodyscissors for a bit before it's back to Epico. He hooks another chinlock on Michael but McGillicutty fights up and they collide. The double tag brings in Dallas and Primo with Bo hitting an awkward looking kneedrop for two. Epico breaks up a pin attempt off a tornado bulldog from Dallas. Primo and Dallas are left in the ring and an arm trap DDT gets a close two on Bo. Primo loads up something but charges into the belly to belly suplex for the pin at 10:25 shown of 13:55.
Results
Leo Kruger/Kassius Ohno b. Alex Riley/Derrick Bateman – Arm trap cravate to Riley
Mason Ryan b. Sakamoto – Jackhammer
Paige b. Aksana – Kneeling Sharpshooter
Bo Dallas/Michael McGillicutty b. Primo/Epico – Belly to belly suplex to Primo
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: January 31, 2013
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Tazz, Todd Keneley, Mike Tenay
We're in England for the first of four shows in a row. Tonight is Open Fight Night again with the main event being Angle vs. Anderson in a cage. Other than that we're promised a huge announcement from Dixie Carter. Sometimes those things are huge and sometimes they mean jack so who knows what to expect. Let's get to it.
Here's Bad Influence in kilts and Braveheart face paint to open the show. Since it's Throwback Thursday, we're going back to the thirteenth century to praise the real heroes of the UK, the Scots! Daniels has no update on Hardy but promises to win the title and come back here for an easy title defense against the English.
This brings out the returning Magnus who makes fun of Daniels for the way he talks before calling them disrespectful Muppets. Magnus challenges either of them for later and the brawl is on. A pair of backdrops put Bad Influence on the floor and Magnus stands tall. He talks about being in the ring and getting to do what he loves, but Aces and 8's took that from him. Therefore he's calling out D-Von for a fight tonight. The biker comes out and we take a break.
Magnus vs. D-Von
This is non-title I believe. Magnus takes over to start and heads to the floor, where D-Von is slammed into the barricade a few times. It's very nice to see the show in an actual arena instead of a tiny studio. D-Von kicks the rope into Magnus' crotch as they come back in and takes over. Some punches to the face and a legdrop set up the Hogan hand to the ear. Off to a nerve hold for a bit before D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt. A high knee puts D-Von down again as does a clothesline. Not that it matters though as the rest of Aces and 8's come in for the DQ at 5:11.
Magnus clears the ring before the jobbing army can get in there.
Joseph Park's challenge is up next.
Brooke, Bully and Sting are in the back and worrying that Hulk won't be here tonight.
Joseph Park comes out for his challenge. He's taken a lot of notes but here's Robbie E to interrupt. Park says that's not his pick but E calls him a hamster. Robbie wipes himself with Park's notes and after insulting the UK (then backing away when the Welsh Rob Terry glares at him) he challenges Park for a fight right now.
Joseph Park vs. Robbie E
Park takes over to start with some arm drags and clotheslines but a running splash misses. Robbie pounds away a bit but can't get even a near fall out of it. Park avoids a middle rope knee and makes his comeback, hitting a belly to belly suplex of all things. A middle rope splash is enough to pin Robbie at 3:30.
Hogan is here.
Aries and Roode are in the ring with Aries saying that the two of them are going to start winning championships. Roode doesn't like the idea of Aries being world champion so they'll start with the tag titles. Roode says the champions can't hold a candle to them and calls out Chavo. The champions come out and Chavo says you have to be a tag team to get a title shot. Aries says they've already beaten Hernandez so if there's going to be a rematch and Aries or Roode wins, they get a title match.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Austin Aries
They start fast with Chavo taking him down via a belly to back. Aries comes right back but the slingshot hilo hits knees. Chavo hits a slingshot hilo of his own and chokes away in the corner before we take a break. Back with Chavo diving onto Roode but getting hit with the suicide dive by Aries. We head back inside with Aries pounding away and a few two counts.
A headlock takeover puts Chavo down as does a backdrop for no cover. Chavo comes back with a dropkick and a capo kick for two. Three Amigos hit and there's the frog splash but Roode comes in for a distraction. In the distraction, Aries hits a WICKED running dropkick in the corner and the brainbuster earns he and Roode a title shot at 10:33.
Brooke and Bully go to the ring.
Angle is warming up with Joe, Garrett and Brisco around him. Joe yells at the rookies when they say they'll be at ringside because Joe is going to be there instead.
We recap the Hogans/Bully stuff.
Here are Brooke and Bully to the ring to recap Bully's suspension. Ray says that they're family with a common enemy in Aces and 8's. They have to bury their problems so Ray can fight the bikers. Ray says Sting can get Hogan to lift the suspension and starts a Sting chant. Cue Sting who says that he can't get Hogan out here but the fans can.
Therefore, let's stop the Sting chant and start a Hogan chant. Here's Hulk so the people in the room can suck up to him a bit. Hulk talks about always doing the right thing so Bully is reinstated. This shocks him for some reason. Hulk talks about being confused about business and family though, so next week it's Bully/Sting vs. Aces and 8's in a tables match.
The big announcement is that Impact is going on the road permanently starting March 14th. That's a BIG step for them.
Here's a ticked off Velvet to call out Tara. The champion and Jesse come out but Velvet wants a mixed tag instead of a title shot.
Velvet Sky/James Storm vs. Jesse Sorensen/Tara
The guys start things off with Storm slapping him around like a former world champion beating up a rookie that got a job because he was on a reality show. Tara trips Storm up and Jesse takes over for a few seconds until Closing Time takes him right back down. Off to the girls with Velvet taking over. Closing Time hits Jesse again and In Yo Face ends Tara at 3:50.
We get a quick update on Hardy. He had an MRI on his bad knee. End of update.
We recap the Hogan segment from earlier. The Hogans say Hulk had to do something for his family because he always does the right thing when it comes to them. You know like suggesting a reality show about your son getting out of jail for a car crash that has put a guy in need of life long medical care from a car wreck that your son caused. That's “doing the right thing”, right?
Video on Angle vs. Anderson from Lockdown 2010. That was a great match.
Joe has been attacked.
Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle
In a cage. Anderson jumps Angle as he gets in and gets a quick two count. Brisco is out at ringside too. Anderson is in full control here but runs into an elbow in the corner. Angle hits a middle rope dropkick to put both guys down for a bit. The Angle Slam is countered into a Regal Roll for two and drops a medium sized leg. Angle comes back by sending Anderson into the cage and hitting the Angle Slam for two.
We take a break and come back with Angle still in control. Anderson comes back with a clothesline and goes to escape but Kurt makes the save. Anderson crotches him for two and goes up again, only to get taken down by the Angle Slam off the top. Angle is still dazed though and walks into the Mic check for two. Ken tries to go up again but gets powerbombed out of the corner. There's the ankle lock with the grapevine for the tap out at 15:09.
Post match another biker comes in and Brisco comes in to join in the fight. It's Garrett Bischoff, finally joining Aces and 8's. Brisco jumps Angle too and they're both bikers. WOW I NEVER, NEVER I SAY, would have seen this coming. The new recruits destroy Angle to end the show.
Results
Magnus b. D-Von via DQ when Aces and 8's interfered
Joseph Park b. Robbie E – Middle rope splash
Austin Aries b. Chavo Guerrero – Brainbuster
James Storm/Velvet Sky b. Jesse Sorensen/Tara – In Yo Face to Tara
Kurt Angle b. Mr. Anderson – Ankle Lock
Friday
Smackdown got a 1.16.
Smackdown
Date: February 1, 2013
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield
We're past the Rumble and a Raw guy won, meaning we need a #1 contender for the world title. Odds are that's going to be decided in the Elimination Chamber but we're still a few weeks away from that. Anyway, the main story tonight is likely going to be Del Rio going after Big Show for what he did to Ricardo on Monday in what I thought was a solid heel moment from Big Show. Let's get to it.
We open with the ending of Raw with Lesnar returning and beating up Vince. There's also a clip of Del Rio retaining the title.
Del Rio is pacing in the parking lot with a ball bat in hand, apparently waiting for Big Show.
Booker is in the ring with HELL NO, Khali, Sheamus and Orton. Ziggler and company are on the floor. Booker talks about how all of these people are former world heavyweight champions and they can all get the title back. All they have to do is win the Elimination Chamber which has six spots. This is perfect since there are six people here but this brings out.....Jack Swagger?
He says he's a former world champion as well (oh yeah he was wasn't he) and wants in the Chamber. Booker says the six spots are already filled, but Ziggler volunteers to drop out since he's got a guaranteed title shot already. Apparently it's Del Rio vs. Ziggler later tonight. Right now though, WE GET A TAG MATCH!!!
Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara vs. HELL NO
Non-title. Mysterio (in green pants and an orange top) and Kane start things off as JBL says Rey and Cara have both worked for AAA. I can't find any evidence of Cara ever working there at all but whatever. Rey takes out Kane's knee before the small masked guys hit double kicks to the monster. Kane shrugs it off and brings in Bryan to a nice reaction. Cara launches Rey into a seated senton on Bryan for two but it's back to Kane.
Kane throws Rey around as is his custom before it's back to Bryan for a corner dropkick. Daniel avoids a 619 and we take a break. Back with Bryan working on Cara's arm but as Daniel goes up, he gets kicked in the head. That doesn't do much good though as Cara gets kicked down and a middle rope dropkick puts him down again. A quick surfboard has Cara in trouble and a tag to Kane puts him in even more.
Kane loads up what might have been a superplex but gets kicked away. A cross body is caught in the air but Cara spins into a tornado DDT to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Mysterio and things speed way up. Bryan counters a rana but gets kicked in the head by Rey for two. Kane breaks up the 619 and kicks Cara down, only to get sent to the floor by a rana from Mysterio. There's the NO Lock to Rey but Cara comes in for the save. Sin takes out Kane on the floor and it's 619 and the top rope splash to pin Bryan at 8:07 shown of 11:37.
We recap Big Show vs. Del Rio from Sunday and Ricardo's beating from Raw.
Del Rio is waiting on Big Show and tells Striker he's getting some fresh air.
Great Khali vs. Jinder Mahal
This is fallout from Raw. Khali chops him a lot to start but Mahal takes him down and hooks a front facelock. That goes about as well as you would expect on a guy like Khali as Mahal is thrown off. Slater and Horny chase each other around as Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge for the pin at 1:52.
Teddy tells Booker that he brought Swagger back. The Rhodes Scholars interrupt the conversation and talk about splitting up the team. Sandow quotes some French author and the Scholars hug. The end result of this is Sheamus vs. Sandow.
We recap the ending of Raw from Monday and see an exclusive of Vince being taken away on a stretcher.
Alberto is still waiting. These segments alone are letting him show more emotion than he's had in the last year and a half combined.
Now we recap the end of the Rumble.
Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow
Sandow immediately bails to the floor but gets run over from behind by Sheamus. Back in and Damien gets in some stomps and a choke with the knee as Sheamus is in a bit of trouble. A Russian legsweep sets up the Wind-Up Elbow for one. Sheamus starts firing back but Sandow pounds on him in the corner to take over in a surprising comeback. The real comeback by Sheamus starts with the usual and even though Sandow escapes White Noise, he gets caught in the ten forearms in the ropes. Not that any of it matters though as Shield comes out for the DQ at 3:00 or so. No rating due to length but the match was ok.
Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick on Rollins as he comes in but Ambrose trips him up and the Irishman is beaten down. Rollins gets back in and the TripleBomb hits.
Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton
Cheese and crackers haven't we seen this enough lately? Orton starts fast and knocks Barrett to the floor early on. Back in and Wade hits a kick to the ribs and one to the jaw as well for two. A neckbreaker gets two for the champ (non-title here of course) and Orton is in trouble.
Barrett puts him in the ropes for his running boot to the face but it only gets two. Off to a chinlock but Orton snap mares out of it. Here come the clotheslines and powerslam but Barrett heads to the floor. Barrett loads up the Bull Hammer but it hits the post in a wince inducing miss. Back in and the Elevated DDT hits, setting up the RKO for the clean pin at 4:04.
Post break Barrett gets in a fight backstage with Bo Dallas.
Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger
Swagger looks exactly the same other than having his hair slicked back. No pushups here either. Jack immediately takes it to the mat and Kofi is in trouble. Kofi fights out of the corner but gets his head taken off via a clothesline. Kingston speeds things up but gets LAUNCHED to the corner for his efforts. The Vader Bomb hits for one and there's another beal across the ring.
Kofi fights up but gets caught in a kind of suplex to take him right back down. Off to a half camel clutch by Swagger before he shifts over to a regular armbar. Kofi finally fights up and takes over with his usual stuff. The Boom Drop hits but Jack rolls to the floor. There's a big clothesline off the steps to take Swagger out but Trouble in Paradise hits the table. Back in and the ankle lock ends this at 7:10.
Security tries to calm Del Rio down but Big Show's bus arrives. Del Rio goes after him so Show tries to steal a car. Alberto gets him on top of the car and pounds away but Show kicks him off and runs to a car that just happened to be waiting with the keys in it.
We recap Punk challenging Rock to a rematch.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio
Non-title again here. Ricardo is in the back with Del Rio but he's in a neckbrace so Alberto tells him to stay in the back for his own good. Feeling out process to start until Alberto pounds away in the corner. The middle rope moonsault misses but the champion rolls through it anyway. A kick to the face gets two for Alberto but he charges into the post shoulder first. Dolph DDTs him down for two and gets the same off a neckbreaker. Off to a quick chinlock by Ziggler as we look at AJ a bit.
Del Rio fights up and snaps off a German suplex to break Dolph's momentum. Alberto loads up a moonsault but an AJ distraction lets Langston break it up. That gets two for Ziggy but even worse his goon gets ejected. We take a break and come back with Del Rio trying to fight back, only to get his leg kicked out from under him. Ziggler goes up but gets crotched as AJ cringes. A BIG kick to Ziggler's head has him in even more trouble and a superplex gets two for Alberto.
They slug it out and Ziggler misses a splash in the corner. Del Rio fires off more kicks and a low superkick gets two. The cross armbreaker is escaped though and a Fameasser gets two for Dolph. Ziggler misses a charge into the corner and Alberto pounds away on the back before hitting a Backstabber for two. The champion goes up again but jumps into a dropkick for a VERY close two. Out of nowhere Alberto counters the Zig Zag into the armbreaker for the tap out at 10:08 shown of 13:38.
To the shock of no one, Big Show has Ricardo by the neck and knocks him out after yelling at Del Rio. Alberto sprints to the back to be with his buddy as the show ends.
Results
Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. HELL NO – Top rope splash to Bryan
Great Khali b. Jinder Mahal – Punjabi Plunge
Damien Sandow vs. Sheamus went to a no contest when Shield interfered
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – RKO
Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston – Ankle Lock
Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Cross Armbreaker
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing either.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesaro – RKO
Bo Dallas b. Wade Barrett – Belly to belly suplex
John Cena b. Cody Rhodes – Attitude Adjustment
Kaitlyn vs. Tamina went to a no contest
Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – White Noise through a table
HELL NO b. Chris Jericho/Dolph Ziggler
NXT
Leo Kruger/Kassius Ohno b. Alex Riley/Derrick Bateman – Arm trap cravate to Riley
Mason Ryan b. Sakamoto – Jackhammer
Paige b. Aksana – Kneeling Sharpshooter
Bo Dallas/Michael McGillicutty b. Primo/Epico – Belly to belly suplex to Primo
Impact Wrestling
Magnus b. D-Von via DQ when Aces and 8's interfered
Joseph Park b. Robbie E – Middle rope splash
Austin Aries b. Chavo Guerrero – Brainbuster
James Storm/Velvet Sky b. Jesse Sorensen/Tara – In Yo Face to Tara
Kurt Angle b. Mr. Anderson – Ankle Lock
Smackdown
Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. HELL NO – Top rope splash to Bryan
Great Khali b. Jinder Mahal – Punjabi Plunge
Damien Sandow vs. Sheamus went to a no contest when Shield interfered
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – RKO
Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston – Ankle Lock
Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Cross Armbreaker
Smackdown got a 2.1, up a bit from last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 28, 2013
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
The Rumble is over now and the big stories are Rock winning the title and Cena winning the Rumble, likely setting up a title rematch that I don't think many people are interested in seeing. Tonight is also Raw Roulette which is a gimmick that this show flat out doesn't need. We should be getting ready for Wrestlemania but instead we get a night of gimmick matches and lame jokes instead. Let's get to it.
We open with Vickie who has three roulette wheels behind her. One has superstars, one has stipulations and one has a bunch of HILARIOUS gimmicks on it. First up is Cesaro vs. Orton which gets a special referee.
Here are Punk and Heyman to the ring and they are TICKED. Punk says this is day 435 and he goes on a RANT about how he's still champion and that he didn't lose. Ropes are kicked and tiny pieces of hair follicles are probably pulled out. Punk says Rock couldn't beat him without anyone's help and that makes the fans cheaters. Vince and Rock are swindlers and Punk is going to crash Rock's party tonight.
This brings out Vince who has this big goofy grin on his face. Punk calls him every insulting name he can think of but Vince says that he has proof that Heyman was behind the Shield attacks. Heyman: “Sir if I may...” Vince: “YOU MAY NOT!” Vince says he'll be evaluating Heyman later tonight which might result in his firing. This was a pretty fast ending.
Randy Orton vs. Antonio Cesaro
The guest referee is the Miz, which I said before his music hit. This was obvious because Cesaro pinned Miz clean last night, meaning the feud must continue. Anyway this is joined in progress after a break with Orton getting two off something we didn't see. Cesaro pounds away in the corner but gets clotheslined down again. A suplex gets two for Orton and we head to the floor where Cesaro's back is sent into the barricade.
Back in and Orton slingshots Antonio's throat into the ropes for two. Miz has done nothing of note so far. They trade European uppercuts with Cesaro taking over. Orton comes right back with a BIG backdrop to send Cesaro to the floor as we take another break. Back with Cesaro guillotining Orton on the top rope and heading to the floor for a bit. Back in and there's a cravate for a bit before Randy charges into a falcon's arrow for two.
Off to a chinlock but Orton fights out of it with his usual stuff including the powerslam. Cesaro comes back with a jumping back elbow off the middle rope (looked great) for two. He argues with Miz, allowing Orton to hit the backbreaker. Cesaro pokes Orton in the eye and gets in an argument with Miz, allowing Orton to hit the RKO for the pin at 12:45 shown.
Miz hits Cesaro with the Finale and looks at the Mania sign.
The next spin is by Ryback and he gets to make Vickie laugh. He starts by snorting at her and walking away.
Here's Ryback to the ring and after a break we see Andre Agassi and Stefi Graf in the audience. The Prime Time Players, Ryback and Matt Striker are in the ring. Apparently this is a joke off. The Players make a joke about Striker's luck with women that isn't funny and didn't make a lot of sense. Ryback asks what has four eyes, twenty fingers, and is about to be unconscious. The beating begins and Young runs away. Striker declares Ryback the winner and gets Shell Shocked too.
Backlund HOF video again.
Wade Barrett gets to pick his opponent tonight.
Wade Barrett vs. Bo Dallas
Dallas eliminated Barrett from the Rumble last and is the rookie from NXT. They fight in the corner a bit but Barrett hits his kick to the ribs to take over. Barrett loads up the Bull Hammer but charges into a belly to belly suplex for the shocking pin at 2:12. There's Barrett's first real feud as champion.
Cody Rhodes spins John Cena which is up next.
We hear about Cena being on Fruity Pebbles boxes, replacing Fred Flintstone. As stupid as it sounds, that's a pretty big deal.
Cody Rhoes vs. John Cena
Cena starts fast with a dropkick and a fisherman's suplex to send Rhodes to the floor. Cody says this is a waste of his talents and walks away, only for Cena to throw him right back in. The usual finishes for Cena at 1:56.
Cena talks about how some people don't seem thrilled that he won. There were 30 people in the match last night but he's the guy that won. Throwing Ryback out to win is the first step towards Wrestlemania, where he can face a champion of his choosing. Cena says this is a difficult step, but first let's pause to tell Cena he sucks. Apparently it's going to be either Rock or Punk for some reason. I didn't hear talk of a rematch. Cena says that he can face Punk again but he's come up short in six tries to win the title. But I thought Cena never lost anything.
On the other hand is the Rock. Cena talks about talking down about Rock even before Rock returned so that when Rock showed up again, there would be only one possible candidate. Then Cena spent a year feuding with Rock and there were times Cena showed him up completely. Everything was perfect until April 1 when he lost everything he had spent a year doing.
Cena says Rock won and there's the chant for the champion. He asks which one he should challenge: the guy he has even money to beat or one of the two guys he seemingly never could beat. Cena makes his decision right now: the WWE Champion, whoever that is at Mania. That smells like a three way to me.
Before Cena can leave, cue the Shield to surround the ring. The beating is on, which basically kills the Cena leads the Shield rumors. Sheamus tries to make the save but here's Ryback for the real save. Six man tag at Elimination Chamber maybe? Either way a big brawl breaks out with Sheamus being posted. Cena tries to fight them off again but gets beaten down. The TripleBomb leaves Cena laying.
Brodus and Tensai are going to have a lingerie pillow fight but Tensai says no way. They spin the other wheel and it's a dance off but Tensai didn't see it. COMEDY is coming people!
We see everything WWE did in Phoenix this week.
Time for the dance off but Tensai first takes off a robe to reveal women's lingerie. Brodus has a heart attack. It's time for the dance off with Brodus going first. Tensai doesn't want to dance but Lawler says what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Tensai does some very awkward stuff including Gangam Style and some other outdated stuff. The guy that got to beat Punk and Cena last year everybody. Ron Simmons pops up for his one word. JBL: “I know that guy.”
Del Rio gets a body slam challenge with Big Show.
It's time for the body slam challenge but Big Show knocks Del Rio out. He tapes the champion up to the rope and destroys Ricardo while Alberto has to watch. This goes on for awhile and is rather awesome with Del Rio being tortured mentally while Ricardo got the physical part. Also the revenge will be SWEET.
Kaitlyn vs. Tamina
This is a showgirl lumberjill match. The girls are in showgirl outfits which look good but the lumberjill stuff is played already. This is non-title too. Tamina takes over to start and takes Katilyn down with a chinlock. Kaitlyn is thrown to the floor and beats up I think Aksana in the process. Tamina gets hit by a headdress and Kaitlyn goes after her with some decent aggression. That goes out the window as she puts the hat on Kaitlyn but the girls all come in for the no contest at 2:58. Nothing to see here.
Here's Rock to address the people. He says that the word to sum up the title win is FINALLY, because it's been a long journey. Rock has won seven WWE Championships before but this one means more than any. He thanks the people and says the days of CM Punk saying the people mean nothing are over. Rock gets in his usual jabs at Punk and Heyman but here's the ex-champion.
Punk says that he earned the title unlike rock who had it handed to him. If Rock has any respect at all, he would hand the championship back to Punk right now. Rock says come get it and says Punk can either come get it or stand up there like a coward. Punk comes to the ring but says he's staying on the stage. He wants a rematch and lists off some places he'll be this weekend but finally says let's do it at Elimination Chamber. Also, this is ROCK's rematch, not Punk's. Rock says let's do it.
Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow
This is a tables match because RANDOM! Sheamus seems to be favoring his left arm. Sandow runs to the floor to start and Sheamus is fine with beating him up out there. A table is set up in front of the ramp but Sandow runs away from it. We head to the other side of the ring where Damien finally dropkicks him down to take over. Another table is set up but instead Sheamus just throws it at him. Back in and Sandow takes out the injured (by the Shield) shoulder with a DDT. Apparently it's Sheamus' birthday today. Ok then.
Damien brings in another table and kind of Pillmanizes the arm with the table legs. Sheamus comes back with ease but misses a Brogue Kick that would have sent Sandow through a table. Damien charges but gets caught by the slingshot shoulder. Sandow hits him in the arm again and drops the Wind-Up Elbow. Sheamus is thrown ribs first into the side of a table in a painful looking move. Sandow goes up top, only to get shoved down to the apron for the ten forearms. A suplex back in doesn't work but White Noise through the table in the corner is enough for the win at 7:21.
It's time for WWE Karaoke with Ryder and Khali and company as the contestants. Khali gets to sing Shawn's theme song but after nearly crushing Shawn's entire career, 3MB interrupts. Drew: “Whoa whoa whoooooooooooooa sweet child of mine.” I love Drew McIntyre now. He gets chopped in the head for his efforts and it's a Rough Ryder for Mahal. The big chop and Tadpole Splash (Horny is part of “and company”
take out Slater.Here's Jericho's latest return to Raw. He welcomes us to Raw is Jericho and thanks all of the Jericholics for watching at home, which is something he'll neeeeeeeeeeeeeever forget a-gain. This brings out Team Ziggler with the namesake pointing out that Jericho is gone thanks to losing to Dolph six months ago. AJ says that was her idea but Jericho says put a leash on her already.
Langston says Jericho should leave before Big E. ruins the return. Jericho: “What does the E stand for? Your bra size?” Vickie pops up on screen and says she signed Jericho back to Raw and he gets to face Dolph tonight in a Strange Bedfellows match. In other words, they get to team up to fight HELL NO.
HELL NO vs. Dolph Ziggler/Chris Jericho
Ziglger and Kane start things off with the unlikely partners bickering as we take a break about 25 seconds into the match. Back with Jericho being tagged in reluctantly, only to take both Kane and the legal Bryan down. The Walls to Bryan can't work and HELL NO collides. Jericho lets them fight and they start shoving each other. Ziggler tags himself in but Jericho slaps Kane in the back, leaving Ziggler alone in the ring. Chokeslam ends Ziggler at 5:40, over half of which was in commercial.
Here's Vince to give Heyman his job evaluation. Before Paul comes out, Vince says Punk has been escorted from the building. They shake hands so Vince uses some liquid soap. He asks Heyman if Paul is behind the Shield or Maddox but Paul denies it. Vince asks Heyman if he's ever lied. Heyman says something Vince's dad says before saying of course he's lied every day because promoters have to do that to survive. However, right now he isn't lying of course.
Vince asks the fans if Heyman has an honest face or if he's an honest man. The fans chant no so let's go to the tape that Vince has. It's of Heyman and Maddox in the dark somewhere with Heyman saying turn the camera off. The audio keeps going though and the cameraman turns it back on. Heyman talks about paying Maddox off to screw Ryback in the Cell and paying the Shield in general. He says he and Punk have been doing it together and the Shield comes up to surround Maddox. Maddox begs and is beaten down anyway as the camera goes out.
Back in the arena and Heyman is panicking. Fans: “YOU GOT BUSTED!” Heyman says that wasn't him in the video and that Vince knows what it's like to be falsely accused. Paul says he has a thick New York Jewish accent and it's easy to impersonate. Heyman goes on a big rant about being falsely accused because of his success and saying that wasn't him again. Vince says he's going to have to future endeavor Heyman but LESNAR!
Brock is back (in bright yellow shoes) and circles the ring before getting inside to face Vince. He gets in Vince's face and they touch noses. Vince says Lesnar shouldn't do something he'll regret later. Lesnar keeps telling Heyman to go back to the corner. He nods at Heyman and it's an F5 for Vince as Heyman screams NO.
Results
Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesaro – RKO
Bo Dallas b. Wade Barrett – Belly to belly suplex
John Cena b. Cody Rhodes – Attitude Adjustment
Kaitlyn vs. Tamina went to a no contest
Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – White Noise through a table
HELL NO b. Chris Jericho/Dolph Ziggler
Tuesday
TLC got 190,000 buys, down slightly from last year.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: January 30, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: William Regal, Tony Dawson
This is the second week of the tag team title tournament and my guess is we'll get two more first round matches tonight. Other than that we've got Conor O'Brien challenging Langston for the title next week which should be interesting given that we haven't seen Conor since Cameron was released. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the announcement of the title tournament and the first two matches. For the first time we get to see the full brackets:
Wyatt Family
Bo Dallas/Michael McGillicutty
Primo/Epico
Alex Riley/Derrick Bateman
Leo Kruger/Kassius Ohno
Oliver Grey/Adrian Neville
Welcome Home.
NXT Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Alex Riley/Derrick Bateman vs. Kassius Ohno/Leo Kruger
Bateman and Kruger get us going with a kneeling staredown. The fans are behind Bateman despite him not being seen in months. They fight over some basic holds to start before it's off to Riley. Kruger hides in the corner before bringing in Ohno. Kassius doesn't seem impressed so Riley takes him down with an armdrag into an armbar. Riley hits a big dropkick as Regal talks about why wrestlers drop down (“They don't want to get hit.”
.Back to Derrick who knocks Kassius to the floor and we take a break. We come back to see Kruger in a Bateman armbar followed by Bateman pounding away in the corner. A running knee in the corner misses Kruger though and that's the knee that kept him out for four months. Back to Ohno who cranks on the knee a bit before Kruger comes in to do the same.
Kassius is looking at Regal as Leo tags him in. Kind of odd as Regal hasn't done anything to Ohno in a few weeks but whatever. Anyway Ohno comes in and puts on another leg lock before tagging back to Kruger. Leo hooks a kneeling half crab and a Robinsdale Crunch before bringing Ohno back in for a spinning toe hold. I like how they're mixing the holds and moves up instead of using the same ones over and over again. It's so boring when people do that.
Bateman kicks Ohno away and makes the hot tag to Riley. Things speed up and Riley hits a spinebuster and falling forward DDT out of the corner for two. Everything breaks down and Ohno hits a big boot on Riley to set up what looks like an arm trap cravate for the tap out at 10:51 shown of 14:21.
Mason Ryan vs. Sakamoto
There's a name we haven't seen in a long time. Ryan is still a musclehead but he's a big less cut up now which might be a good thing for him. Sakamoto tries to hide in the corner but gets thrown across the ring by the throat. A cross body is caught in a backbreaker and fallaway slam by Ryan before it's time for a trapezius hold. That doesn't last long so Mason ends him with a Jackhammer at 2:19. The fans call Ryan boring and I can't say I disagree. He's just a power guy who uses power moves and that's it.
Aksana vs. Paige
Aksana takes over to start and shows off some “power” before crawling around on the mat. With a boot in Paige's back Aksana pulls on her limbs for a bit but here's Paige's comeback. She pounds away on Aksana a bit before hooking a kneeling Sharpshooter with her knee in Aksana's back for the tap out at 2:59. Paige continues to impress.
Post match Summer Rae runs in and jumps Paige from behind.
Sasha Banks is very excited about winning last week. She thinks the sky is the limit but here's a delivery guy with a letter. Apparently Sasha has a secret admirer.
NXT Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Primo/Epico vs. Michael McGillicutty/Bo Dallas
Epico has his hair down here which makes him a lot easier to distinguish from his partner. Primo and Dallas start things off with Primo being shoved into the corner. Dallas sends him to the outside before it's off to Epico. The cousins take over but almost as soon as Primo comes back in, Dallas is able to regain control. An atomic drop gets two and it's off to McGillicutty. A double back elbow gets two as does a backbreaker by McGillicutty.
Back to Dallas for a pretty sweet back and forth double teaming sequence (starting with a Dallas right, a McGillicutty knee lift and a Dallas clothesline) for two. Michael counters an Epico dropkick to send him to the outside. We take a break and come back with Michael hitting a running dropkick but having to beat up the illegal Primo, allowing Epico to dropkick McGillicutty to the floor.
Back in an Epico hits a slingshot hilo for two on Michael as Rosa gyrates a bit. Primo hooks a chinlock with a bodyscissors for a bit before it's back to Epico. He hooks another chinlock on Michael but McGillicutty fights up and they collide. The double tag brings in Dallas and Primo with Bo hitting an awkward looking kneedrop for two. Epico breaks up a pin attempt off a tornado bulldog from Dallas. Primo and Dallas are left in the ring and an arm trap DDT gets a close two on Bo. Primo loads up something but charges into the belly to belly suplex for the pin at 10:25 shown of 13:55.
Results
Leo Kruger/Kassius Ohno b. Alex Riley/Derrick Bateman – Arm trap cravate to Riley
Mason Ryan b. Sakamoto – Jackhammer
Paige b. Aksana – Kneeling Sharpshooter
Bo Dallas/Michael McGillicutty b. Primo/Epico – Belly to belly suplex to Primo
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: January 31, 2013
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Tazz, Todd Keneley, Mike Tenay
We're in England for the first of four shows in a row. Tonight is Open Fight Night again with the main event being Angle vs. Anderson in a cage. Other than that we're promised a huge announcement from Dixie Carter. Sometimes those things are huge and sometimes they mean jack so who knows what to expect. Let's get to it.
Here's Bad Influence in kilts and Braveheart face paint to open the show. Since it's Throwback Thursday, we're going back to the thirteenth century to praise the real heroes of the UK, the Scots! Daniels has no update on Hardy but promises to win the title and come back here for an easy title defense against the English.
This brings out the returning Magnus who makes fun of Daniels for the way he talks before calling them disrespectful Muppets. Magnus challenges either of them for later and the brawl is on. A pair of backdrops put Bad Influence on the floor and Magnus stands tall. He talks about being in the ring and getting to do what he loves, but Aces and 8's took that from him. Therefore he's calling out D-Von for a fight tonight. The biker comes out and we take a break.
Magnus vs. D-Von
This is non-title I believe. Magnus takes over to start and heads to the floor, where D-Von is slammed into the barricade a few times. It's very nice to see the show in an actual arena instead of a tiny studio. D-Von kicks the rope into Magnus' crotch as they come back in and takes over. Some punches to the face and a legdrop set up the Hogan hand to the ear. Off to a nerve hold for a bit before D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt. A high knee puts D-Von down again as does a clothesline. Not that it matters though as the rest of Aces and 8's come in for the DQ at 5:11.
Magnus clears the ring before the jobbing army can get in there.
Joseph Park's challenge is up next.
Brooke, Bully and Sting are in the back and worrying that Hulk won't be here tonight.
Joseph Park comes out for his challenge. He's taken a lot of notes but here's Robbie E to interrupt. Park says that's not his pick but E calls him a hamster. Robbie wipes himself with Park's notes and after insulting the UK (then backing away when the Welsh Rob Terry glares at him) he challenges Park for a fight right now.
Joseph Park vs. Robbie E
Park takes over to start with some arm drags and clotheslines but a running splash misses. Robbie pounds away a bit but can't get even a near fall out of it. Park avoids a middle rope knee and makes his comeback, hitting a belly to belly suplex of all things. A middle rope splash is enough to pin Robbie at 3:30.
Hogan is here.
Aries and Roode are in the ring with Aries saying that the two of them are going to start winning championships. Roode doesn't like the idea of Aries being world champion so they'll start with the tag titles. Roode says the champions can't hold a candle to them and calls out Chavo. The champions come out and Chavo says you have to be a tag team to get a title shot. Aries says they've already beaten Hernandez so if there's going to be a rematch and Aries or Roode wins, they get a title match.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Austin Aries
They start fast with Chavo taking him down via a belly to back. Aries comes right back but the slingshot hilo hits knees. Chavo hits a slingshot hilo of his own and chokes away in the corner before we take a break. Back with Chavo diving onto Roode but getting hit with the suicide dive by Aries. We head back inside with Aries pounding away and a few two counts.
A headlock takeover puts Chavo down as does a backdrop for no cover. Chavo comes back with a dropkick and a capo kick for two. Three Amigos hit and there's the frog splash but Roode comes in for a distraction. In the distraction, Aries hits a WICKED running dropkick in the corner and the brainbuster earns he and Roode a title shot at 10:33.
Brooke and Bully go to the ring.
Angle is warming up with Joe, Garrett and Brisco around him. Joe yells at the rookies when they say they'll be at ringside because Joe is going to be there instead.
We recap the Hogans/Bully stuff.
Here are Brooke and Bully to the ring to recap Bully's suspension. Ray says that they're family with a common enemy in Aces and 8's. They have to bury their problems so Ray can fight the bikers. Ray says Sting can get Hogan to lift the suspension and starts a Sting chant. Cue Sting who says that he can't get Hogan out here but the fans can.
Therefore, let's stop the Sting chant and start a Hogan chant. Here's Hulk so the people in the room can suck up to him a bit. Hulk talks about always doing the right thing so Bully is reinstated. This shocks him for some reason. Hulk talks about being confused about business and family though, so next week it's Bully/Sting vs. Aces and 8's in a tables match.
The big announcement is that Impact is going on the road permanently starting March 14th. That's a BIG step for them.
Here's a ticked off Velvet to call out Tara. The champion and Jesse come out but Velvet wants a mixed tag instead of a title shot.
Velvet Sky/James Storm vs. Jesse Sorensen/Tara
The guys start things off with Storm slapping him around like a former world champion beating up a rookie that got a job because he was on a reality show. Tara trips Storm up and Jesse takes over for a few seconds until Closing Time takes him right back down. Off to the girls with Velvet taking over. Closing Time hits Jesse again and In Yo Face ends Tara at 3:50.
We get a quick update on Hardy. He had an MRI on his bad knee. End of update.
We recap the Hogan segment from earlier. The Hogans say Hulk had to do something for his family because he always does the right thing when it comes to them. You know like suggesting a reality show about your son getting out of jail for a car crash that has put a guy in need of life long medical care from a car wreck that your son caused. That's “doing the right thing”, right?
Video on Angle vs. Anderson from Lockdown 2010. That was a great match.
Joe has been attacked.
Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle
In a cage. Anderson jumps Angle as he gets in and gets a quick two count. Brisco is out at ringside too. Anderson is in full control here but runs into an elbow in the corner. Angle hits a middle rope dropkick to put both guys down for a bit. The Angle Slam is countered into a Regal Roll for two and drops a medium sized leg. Angle comes back by sending Anderson into the cage and hitting the Angle Slam for two.
We take a break and come back with Angle still in control. Anderson comes back with a clothesline and goes to escape but Kurt makes the save. Anderson crotches him for two and goes up again, only to get taken down by the Angle Slam off the top. Angle is still dazed though and walks into the Mic check for two. Ken tries to go up again but gets powerbombed out of the corner. There's the ankle lock with the grapevine for the tap out at 15:09.
Post match another biker comes in and Brisco comes in to join in the fight. It's Garrett Bischoff, finally joining Aces and 8's. Brisco jumps Angle too and they're both bikers. WOW I NEVER, NEVER I SAY, would have seen this coming. The new recruits destroy Angle to end the show.
Results
Magnus b. D-Von via DQ when Aces and 8's interfered
Joseph Park b. Robbie E – Middle rope splash
Austin Aries b. Chavo Guerrero – Brainbuster
James Storm/Velvet Sky b. Jesse Sorensen/Tara – In Yo Face to Tara
Kurt Angle b. Mr. Anderson – Ankle Lock
Friday
Smackdown got a 1.16.
Smackdown
Date: February 1, 2013
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield
We're past the Rumble and a Raw guy won, meaning we need a #1 contender for the world title. Odds are that's going to be decided in the Elimination Chamber but we're still a few weeks away from that. Anyway, the main story tonight is likely going to be Del Rio going after Big Show for what he did to Ricardo on Monday in what I thought was a solid heel moment from Big Show. Let's get to it.
We open with the ending of Raw with Lesnar returning and beating up Vince. There's also a clip of Del Rio retaining the title.
Del Rio is pacing in the parking lot with a ball bat in hand, apparently waiting for Big Show.
Booker is in the ring with HELL NO, Khali, Sheamus and Orton. Ziggler and company are on the floor. Booker talks about how all of these people are former world heavyweight champions and they can all get the title back. All they have to do is win the Elimination Chamber which has six spots. This is perfect since there are six people here but this brings out.....Jack Swagger?
He says he's a former world champion as well (oh yeah he was wasn't he) and wants in the Chamber. Booker says the six spots are already filled, but Ziggler volunteers to drop out since he's got a guaranteed title shot already. Apparently it's Del Rio vs. Ziggler later tonight. Right now though, WE GET A TAG MATCH!!!
Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara vs. HELL NO
Non-title. Mysterio (in green pants and an orange top) and Kane start things off as JBL says Rey and Cara have both worked for AAA. I can't find any evidence of Cara ever working there at all but whatever. Rey takes out Kane's knee before the small masked guys hit double kicks to the monster. Kane shrugs it off and brings in Bryan to a nice reaction. Cara launches Rey into a seated senton on Bryan for two but it's back to Kane.
Kane throws Rey around as is his custom before it's back to Bryan for a corner dropkick. Daniel avoids a 619 and we take a break. Back with Bryan working on Cara's arm but as Daniel goes up, he gets kicked in the head. That doesn't do much good though as Cara gets kicked down and a middle rope dropkick puts him down again. A quick surfboard has Cara in trouble and a tag to Kane puts him in even more.
Kane loads up what might have been a superplex but gets kicked away. A cross body is caught in the air but Cara spins into a tornado DDT to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Mysterio and things speed way up. Bryan counters a rana but gets kicked in the head by Rey for two. Kane breaks up the 619 and kicks Cara down, only to get sent to the floor by a rana from Mysterio. There's the NO Lock to Rey but Cara comes in for the save. Sin takes out Kane on the floor and it's 619 and the top rope splash to pin Bryan at 8:07 shown of 11:37.
We recap Big Show vs. Del Rio from Sunday and Ricardo's beating from Raw.
Del Rio is waiting on Big Show and tells Striker he's getting some fresh air.
Great Khali vs. Jinder Mahal
This is fallout from Raw. Khali chops him a lot to start but Mahal takes him down and hooks a front facelock. That goes about as well as you would expect on a guy like Khali as Mahal is thrown off. Slater and Horny chase each other around as Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge for the pin at 1:52.
Teddy tells Booker that he brought Swagger back. The Rhodes Scholars interrupt the conversation and talk about splitting up the team. Sandow quotes some French author and the Scholars hug. The end result of this is Sheamus vs. Sandow.
We recap the ending of Raw from Monday and see an exclusive of Vince being taken away on a stretcher.
Alberto is still waiting. These segments alone are letting him show more emotion than he's had in the last year and a half combined.
Now we recap the end of the Rumble.
Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow
Sandow immediately bails to the floor but gets run over from behind by Sheamus. Back in and Damien gets in some stomps and a choke with the knee as Sheamus is in a bit of trouble. A Russian legsweep sets up the Wind-Up Elbow for one. Sheamus starts firing back but Sandow pounds on him in the corner to take over in a surprising comeback. The real comeback by Sheamus starts with the usual and even though Sandow escapes White Noise, he gets caught in the ten forearms in the ropes. Not that any of it matters though as Shield comes out for the DQ at 3:00 or so. No rating due to length but the match was ok.
Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick on Rollins as he comes in but Ambrose trips him up and the Irishman is beaten down. Rollins gets back in and the TripleBomb hits.
Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton
Cheese and crackers haven't we seen this enough lately? Orton starts fast and knocks Barrett to the floor early on. Back in and Wade hits a kick to the ribs and one to the jaw as well for two. A neckbreaker gets two for the champ (non-title here of course) and Orton is in trouble.
Barrett puts him in the ropes for his running boot to the face but it only gets two. Off to a chinlock but Orton snap mares out of it. Here come the clotheslines and powerslam but Barrett heads to the floor. Barrett loads up the Bull Hammer but it hits the post in a wince inducing miss. Back in and the Elevated DDT hits, setting up the RKO for the clean pin at 4:04.
Post break Barrett gets in a fight backstage with Bo Dallas.
Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger
Swagger looks exactly the same other than having his hair slicked back. No pushups here either. Jack immediately takes it to the mat and Kofi is in trouble. Kofi fights out of the corner but gets his head taken off via a clothesline. Kingston speeds things up but gets LAUNCHED to the corner for his efforts. The Vader Bomb hits for one and there's another beal across the ring.
Kofi fights up but gets caught in a kind of suplex to take him right back down. Off to a half camel clutch by Swagger before he shifts over to a regular armbar. Kofi finally fights up and takes over with his usual stuff. The Boom Drop hits but Jack rolls to the floor. There's a big clothesline off the steps to take Swagger out but Trouble in Paradise hits the table. Back in and the ankle lock ends this at 7:10.
Security tries to calm Del Rio down but Big Show's bus arrives. Del Rio goes after him so Show tries to steal a car. Alberto gets him on top of the car and pounds away but Show kicks him off and runs to a car that just happened to be waiting with the keys in it.
We recap Punk challenging Rock to a rematch.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio
Non-title again here. Ricardo is in the back with Del Rio but he's in a neckbrace so Alberto tells him to stay in the back for his own good. Feeling out process to start until Alberto pounds away in the corner. The middle rope moonsault misses but the champion rolls through it anyway. A kick to the face gets two for Alberto but he charges into the post shoulder first. Dolph DDTs him down for two and gets the same off a neckbreaker. Off to a quick chinlock by Ziggler as we look at AJ a bit.
Del Rio fights up and snaps off a German suplex to break Dolph's momentum. Alberto loads up a moonsault but an AJ distraction lets Langston break it up. That gets two for Ziggy but even worse his goon gets ejected. We take a break and come back with Del Rio trying to fight back, only to get his leg kicked out from under him. Ziggler goes up but gets crotched as AJ cringes. A BIG kick to Ziggler's head has him in even more trouble and a superplex gets two for Alberto.
They slug it out and Ziggler misses a splash in the corner. Del Rio fires off more kicks and a low superkick gets two. The cross armbreaker is escaped though and a Fameasser gets two for Dolph. Ziggler misses a charge into the corner and Alberto pounds away on the back before hitting a Backstabber for two. The champion goes up again but jumps into a dropkick for a VERY close two. Out of nowhere Alberto counters the Zig Zag into the armbreaker for the tap out at 10:08 shown of 13:38.
To the shock of no one, Big Show has Ricardo by the neck and knocks him out after yelling at Del Rio. Alberto sprints to the back to be with his buddy as the show ends.
Results
Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. HELL NO – Top rope splash to Bryan
Great Khali b. Jinder Mahal – Punjabi Plunge
Damien Sandow vs. Sheamus went to a no contest when Shield interfered
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – RKO
Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston – Ankle Lock
Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Cross Armbreaker
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing either.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesaro – RKO
Bo Dallas b. Wade Barrett – Belly to belly suplex
John Cena b. Cody Rhodes – Attitude Adjustment
Kaitlyn vs. Tamina went to a no contest
Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – White Noise through a table
HELL NO b. Chris Jericho/Dolph Ziggler
NXT
Leo Kruger/Kassius Ohno b. Alex Riley/Derrick Bateman – Arm trap cravate to Riley
Mason Ryan b. Sakamoto – Jackhammer
Paige b. Aksana – Kneeling Sharpshooter
Bo Dallas/Michael McGillicutty b. Primo/Epico – Belly to belly suplex to Primo
Impact Wrestling
Magnus b. D-Von via DQ when Aces and 8's interfered
Joseph Park b. Robbie E – Middle rope splash
Austin Aries b. Chavo Guerrero – Brainbuster
James Storm/Velvet Sky b. Jesse Sorensen/Tara – In Yo Face to Tara
Kurt Angle b. Mr. Anderson – Ankle Lock
Smackdown
Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. HELL NO – Top rope splash to Bryan
Great Khali b. Jinder Mahal – Punjabi Plunge
Damien Sandow vs. Sheamus went to a no contest when Shield interfered
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – RKO
Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston – Ankle Lock
Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Cross Armbreaker