klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Lockdown will be in Nashville.
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 16, 2012
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
It's another Monday and if I didn't know any better, I'd have no idea that the Rumble was less than two weeks away. Has any Raw guy mentioned being in the Rumble at all? We've had nothing but the Cena vs. Kane stuff with Ryder running scared. Ryder defends the US Title tonight and for some reason Perez Hilton is here. Let's get to it.
Opening video is about Martin Luther King.
Let's Burn It To The Ground.
Here's Foley to open the show. He talks about enjoying being a non physical presence, including hosting This Is Your Life John Cena. However, his kids got to see him perform, (including being in the main event of Wrestlemania in this arena). He does have two other kids though, who haven't seen him perform. Due to that, he's entering the Rumble.
Cue Vickie and Ziggler. Ziggler yells at him about taking up a spot in the Rumble from someone else that could use it more. Foley says it might be a huge mistake but he'll be there to win it. Ziggler talks about everything he's done to get to this point in his career and how he can't imagine facing someone fat like Foley at Mania for his world title. He tells Foley to go home, get a new shirt, eat a salad and go home.
Cue Punk who is glad to see Foley. Punk says that he and Foley are a lot alike in that they're unconventional and don't look like the rest of the WWE roster. He makes fun of Ziggler's look and Ace in general. They get in an argument with Vickie and here's Ace. He says he'll be fair at the Rumble and says he'll consider Foley in the Rumble. After about 2 seconds, he says no. Vickie laughs at him and that's it.
Tag Titles: Epico/Primo vs. Air Boom
Neither team even gets intros. Great to see how well the new champs are treated. We actually get clips of the title change last night. There's a fortune to be made in filming house show stuff and releasing like 3 hours of it for ten bucks on DVD or WWE.com or something. The matches are already there anyway so just film them. Epico vs. Bourne to start us off.
Bourne hits an awesome standing rana to Epico off the top to send him into Primo. Off to Kofi who cleans a house that wasn't very dirty in the first place. Boom Drop gets two and it's Trouble in Paradise time, but Primo breaks it up. The kick hits Epico a second later but the Shooting Star takes too long to hit. Backstabber keeps the titles on the champs at 2:20.
Ace is in the back when Otunga comes in. He hands Ace an envelope which isn't spoken of again. Someone comes in and Ace puts him in the main event: a six man with Bryan/Punk vs. Otunga/Ziggler/Henry. It's Jericho, who turns off the lights, turns on the jacket, and poses.
The envelope that Otunga handed Ace was a doctor's update on Ryder. We go to the back where Ryder is with Eve. His ribs are all taped up. Josh comes up and they say that he's in no condition to compete. He says he won't forfeit the title and Eve says she'll go with him.
We get a video from last week about Kane/Ryder/Cena and all that stuff.
US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder
Swagger goes straight for the ribs and Ryder's offense can't do much. Vader Bomb to the back gets two. Gutwrench powerbomb barely gets two. Another gets the same. He drops elbows on Ryder's ribs and slaps him around before hitting a third powerbomb...and he wins the freaking title at 2:35.
After a break Ace says that Ryder wasn't medically cleared. And that's it.
Great and no it's Hilton time. He's booed out of the freaking building. Thank you Anaheim.
Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox vs. Bella Twins
Perez breaks up Twin Magic and Kelly gets a rollup at 55 seconds. GET RID OF THIS DIVISION ALREADY.
Rumble moment: 92 with Flair's marathon. Heenan's reaction to Flair being #3 is left out here for no apparent reason.
Here's Truth but before he can say anything cue Barrett. Barrett: “R-Truth...if that's even your real name.” Ok that made me smile. Truth is officially in the Rumble and Foley isn't. Truth says Barrett talks funny. The fans are allowed to WHAT him. Truth went to Disneyland this morning and it made him smile. He has a slideshow to show us. First of all he met Mickie and Minnie. And Donald Duck.
Then he met Pinocchio who said Barrett is winning the Rumble. The picture of Pinocchio's nose grows. Truth: “I don't even know if that's PG.” Truth bashes Barrett when Miz jumps him. Sheamus makes the save. Cue Teddy who is here because....I have no idea. Let's have an over the top rope challenge.
Sheamus vs. The Miz vs. R-Truth vs. Wade Barrett
After the feuds pair off, everyone joins up to throw out Barrett. Truth and Sheamus get into it but Miz takes them both down. Sheamus “hits” three double axes (and by that I mean they missed by six inches each) and the forearms to the chest. Brogue Kick misses and Miz can't knock him out. Sheamus tries to put him out but Truth throws them both out to win at 5:10.
Miz gets his head kicked off post match.
Cena comes in to yell at Ace who makes Cena vs. Kane for the PPV. Cena vs. Swagger is...next?
Jack Swagger vs. John Cena
Cena takes his head off before the bell even rings. Out to the floor and Cena keeps destroying him. The bell never rang and Cena beats the tar out of him. Let me guess: embrace the hate right? Cena sets to crush Swagger's skull with the steps but cue Kane's pyro and music. Kane pops up on the monitor and says Cena will have embraced the hate by the Rumble. You know, because Cena has NEVER been violent or aggressive before right? Give me a break. There was no match.
Here's Brodus who has a new intro with I'm assuming his dancing chicks talking about how he's the only Funkasaurus in captivity.
Brodus Clay vs. JTG
JTG gets molested but he does manage to get in a punch. Brodus does his chatting during the match. Corner splash sets up the cross body and we're done at 1:09. The finisher is called Funky. Ok then.
We recap Show running over AJ last week.
Here's Bryan for an update on her. He runs down Big Show for what happened and says they were fake tears. Show should never show his face on Smackdown. Violence is threatened if he does appear. Bryan is dedicating his match Friday to AJ.
Daniel Bryan/Chris Jericho/CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler/Mark Henry/David Otunga
Punk vs. Ziggler gets us going. The champ takes over to start and a snap suplex gets two. Off to Bryan who might have tweeked his knee. Ziggler DDTs it and it's off to Otunga. Bryan takes a beating but it's off to Punk vs. Otunga. Notice that Jericho hasn't been in there yet. Ziggy comes back in and stomps away on the champ. Punk gets in a shot and Jericho wants in but Ziggler stops it and it's back to Otunga.
Naturally Punk beats him down, hits the Macho Elbow and it's off to Jericho. Jericho plays to the crowd instead of going after Otunga though....and tags out to Bryan, walks up the ramp, and leaves. We take a break as no one is quite sure what's going on. Back with Bryan in trouble and it's off to Punk quickly. He hits the springboard clothesline but Henry comes in. Everything breaks down and Bryan pops Henry, but Mark screams at him. Bryan hobbles away and they fight up the aisle.
Ok so it's 2-1 now more or less. Henry is beating Bryan up....and here's Foley? The fans seemingly boo this out of the building but it's hard to tell. Fameasser gets two on Punk. Punk gets in a kick and it's off to Foley who gets a pop so I must have misunderstood the reaction earlier. He destroys Otunga and hits the running knee in the corner. Double arm DDT hits and it's Socko! It gets the win at 14:43.
Ace comes out post match and reverses the decision. Punk gets in his face and says the reason Ace doesn't like Punk is because Ace never was anything but a look. He was the brother of a Road Warrior but he was nothing more than roadkill. It kills Ace that he never made it to this level as a competitor. Punk swears he's going to get cheated at the Rumble because Ace can't stand that Punk is the champion. No matter what, Punk will still be better than Ace because the people will be talking about Ace for the first time, but it'll be because Punk is going to destroy him. Punk fakes him out with a punch and calls Ace pathetic.
Punk leaves and Foley gets Ace a very funny double thumbs up. Ace is ticked off but we're not done yet. He says he'll be the future permanent GM of Raw and he won't be intimidated by Punk. Foley says just admit that you're going to screw Punk. He calls Ace a sycophant, which is New York Times bestsellerish for kiss-up. Ace wants to know who Foley thinks he is. He admits he's going to screw Punk because he's tired of being bullied because he's not appreciated for putting on the best shows he can. He hits Foley with the mic
Results
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom – Backstabber to Bourne
Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder – Gutwrench powerbomb
Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins – Rollup to Brie Bella
R-Truth b. The Miz, Sheamus and Wade Barrett in an over the top rope challenge
Brodus Clay b. JTG – Funky
Dolph Ziggler/David Otunga/Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan/CM Punk/Chris Jericho via DQ when Mick Foley interfered
Tuesday
Nothing.
Wednesday
The WWE PPV calendar is currently showing Fatal Fourway in June and Bragging Rights in December with no TLC show listed.
Raw got a 3.0.
Smackdown got a 2.2. That came out of nowhere.
NXT
Date: January 18, 2012
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
It's the 100th episode of this accursed show and we're in Vegas for a wedding. Naturally it'll be here in the arena in front of an audience because that's how wrestling works. Also we're going to have Titus vs. Young for like the 9th time because that's all we can do on this season. Something big has to happen tonight right? Let's get to it.
The opening video is a recap of the wedding thing and the love triangle.
Theme song. This is the closest thing to an NXT Supershow we'll ever have anymore I think.
Cole is on commentary tonight. Oh boy. I think this is just a one night return.
Titus O'Neil vs. Darren Young
No DQ match. Young runs to the floor for a bit but back in the ring he gets run over by an elbow. Backbreaker gets two for Titus. Darren gets thrown to the floor an DO THE DOG BARK! A slam of some sort on the floor puts Darren down but he manages a neckbreaker on the apron to take Titus down and we take a break. Back with Darren getting two off something we missed.
Belly to back gets two. Off to a cravate and Young sends him into the corner. The gutbuster gets two. The No DQ aspect of this has meant nothing so far. Young sets for another gutbuster but since he used that already and isn't a main event guy, Titus counters and sends him in for the Clash of the Titus and the pin at 5:57.
Titus gets on the mic afterwards and says he wants to thank the fans. He wants to thank them for absolutely nothing. Titus goes on a rant about how he's sick of doing everything for 46 weeks and getting stuck with a leprechaun for nothing. He's the star of this show and the star of every show the WWE has to offer. Cole's heckling kills this for a bit because he laughs instead of acting like this is something special. Thanks for nothing and now he'll be making it a win for himself. Cole makes fun of him again, totally diminishing the shock value of the turn.
Heath Slater vs. Percy Watson
Watson takes over with a dropkick to start. Cole lists off his various accomplishments as Slater takes over. Cole asks about the Redemption Points thing and Josh isn't sure how they work either. Slater takes over and there's nothing interesting going on here. Josh and Cole argue about Lynyrd Skynyrd and Watson starts his comeback. He jumps around a lot but the fans seem more interested in Slater than Watson. Spinning splash gets two. Persecution ends this at 3:41.
Maxine yells at the Usos. Jey sneezes on her dress.
Maxine yells at more people when Curtis shows up and says calm down. She goes off ranting and Kaitlyn comes up. Curtis hits on her and gets called creepy.
Yoshi Tatsu/Trent Barreta vs. Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins
This match AGAIN? Wait why am I surprised by that? Trent vs. Curt starts us off but it's off to Reks quickly. Yoshi jumps in with a top rope chop for two. Was there a tag that I missed? Josh brings up Cole not talking about Superstars enough. Cole says look what he did for Bryan and Hawkins gets two. Cole also says he had a role in keeping the title on Miz. Powerslam gets two for Reks.
Cole blasts the hypocrisy of people praising Bryan's cash-in but blasting people like Edge. Double tag brings in Trent and Reks as this match is very forgettable. Running boot gets two for Trent. Cole says none of these guys are part of the competition which is true. I love Cole pointing out stupid stuff on here. Whisper in the Wind gets two for Barreta and everything breaks down. Reks loads up Barreta onto a shoulder like for a powerbomb but spins to the side into a DDT and the pin at 5:39.
Raw ReBound. Ace's eruption is still pretty good.
The wedding set is built in the ring. Elvis is performing the ceremony. And it's Striker as Elvis. He's been ordained for a full five minutes. The fans aren't impressed by his accent at all. Curtis is brought out who is in a leather jacket and a tuxedo t-shirt. There's some guy with him who looks a little drunks. Maxine comes out and to be fair, she does look good in the dress. She yells about the drunk guy (Chad, who says he was promised a chance to meet Hillbilly Jim) but shuts up eventually.
We get to the vows and Curtis says yes. She says yes also but we get to the objection part and the crowd pops in expectation. You would think Bateman would come out there but actually Striker takes off the glasses (it was obvious it was him and not meant to be a secret I don't think) and says “Really? No one here objects to this?” Funny line. Bateman finally comes out for the big overly dramatic objection and actually rocking a suit.
He says he didn't send the e-mail, but Curtis did. Bateman shows us footage of Curtis stealing an iPad and sending the e-mail. It took him about 4 seconds to send an e-mail that took 20 seconds to read but whatever. Maxine freaks and Curtis says he wants Maxine to come with him to the top. She slaps him and the brawl between the guys breaks out. Bateman hits his finisher on Curtis and walks off. Maxine says wait and slaps Bateman then kisses him. And that's it. No seriously, that's the end of the show.
Results
Titus O'Neal b. Darren Young – Clash of the Titus
Percy Watson b. Heath Slater – Persecution
Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins b. Trent Barreta/Yoshi Tatsu
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: January 19, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
We're moving closer to Against All Odds after last week's pretty awesome show. Well at least the second hour was. Tonight there's a big match and it's actually been advertised. I'm as shocked as you are. It's a cage match between Mickie James and Madison Rayne to probably blow off their feud stemming from Karen being all evil and crazy. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the ending from last week's show.
Here's Storm to open things up. He likes being #1 contender and he beat the best in the world to do it. Angle may be the best, but on those nights, Storm was that much better. Now he's got Roode at Against All Odds....and here's Hardy for a rebuttal. He says he got screwed at the PPV and then again last week. Storm isn't getting a title shot until Hardy does. They both say they got screwed. Storm: “With all that screwing he must have a lot of child support to pay.”
Here's Roode who says Storm does in fact get the winner of Hardy vs. Roode, but since there's no winner, Storm isn't #1 contender anymore. Hardy got two chances in 5 days and blew them both, so he's out too. This brings out Sting who says Roode found another loophole. Therefore tonight it's Storm vs. Hardy and the winner gets Roode at the PPV.
Angelina rants about Eric Young a bit and challenges him to a match later tonight.
Gunner vs. AJ Styles
The announcers keep pushing the idea that Gunner has injured a lot of people. AJ does his usual stuff to start, such as the drop down into a dropkick. Gunner takes over and Tazz actually brings up Flair and AJ's past relationship. Jumping knee to the face gets two for Gunner. Gunner controls for a bit but AJ comes back with the springboard forearm. Here come Kaz and Daniels with Daniels telling Kaz to do what he's supposed to do. F5 is countered and Flair pops up on the apron. The distraction lets Kaz deck AJ and a DDT from Gunner gets the pin at 4:45.
Gunner goes for the concrete but AJ gets away.
Magnus is ready for Crimson. Crimson and Morgan come up and Crimson threatens Magnus. Morgan says save it for the ring.
Ray is with Sting and demands a world title match since he hasn't lost since being a singles wrestler. Sting says no and make an appointment the next time you want to talk to me. Ray kind of threatens him...I think. Sting even lifts the glasses and Ray is mad.
Magnus vs. Crimson
No seconds with either guy. Magnus jumps him to start and hits a clothesline for two. And never mind as Red Sky (a bad one) ends this at 1:10.
Joe comes out post match and beats down Crimson. Morgan finally makes the save. He gets beaten down too and Joe/Magnus stand tall.
Eric young is fascinated by Bellator. A caterer comes up and Eric annoys her by thinking she's a fighter. He says he doesn't fight women. ODB comes up and talks about Angelina's challenge and Eric isn't happy. Sex is implied.
We get a clip from last week with the Bischoff Hour. Garrett is shown training. He says we'll find out who's training him soon.
We recap Mickie vs. Madison. I'm not sure this warrants a cage match but it's not bad.
Madison freaks out and Gail says let's just go to the ring.
Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne
Mickie starts fast and rams her into the buckle to start. Powerbomb out of the corner hits and we're officially longer than the Lockdown match from last year. Seated dropkick gets a delayed two. Mickie hooks something like a choke and Madison is in trouble. Madison escapes and hits a HARD kick to take over. That sounded great. Mickie reverses a whip and we take a break.
Back with Mickie in control again. This has been pretty one sided so far. Mickie takes her down and nips up but Madison sends her into the cage to take over. Madison humps the mat with Mickie's head between her legs. Somehow that's a lot less hot than you would expect. Off to the chinlock. Madison has a little American flag patch on her shorts. Not sure why but it looks good there.
Mickie fights up and a neckbreaker from James puts both of them down. They slug it out, won by Mickie. A flying forearm and clothesline put Madison down. Another flapjack attempt is countered and a boot gets two for Rayne. And then Mickie rams her into the cage a few times and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 12:23.
Austin Aries talks about what he's going to talk about and how entertaining he is. I didn't leave anything out there: he says he's going to talk about something and how interesting whatever he'll be saying will be without saying what it is.
Velvet and Tara congratulate Mickie. She says she's hardcore or something. No idea what the point of this was.
Hardy says that the world title is what it takes to validate everything.
Video on Aries and his domination of the X Division. He talks about how dominant he is and says he needs competition.
Here's Aries in the arena. He says it's that time of the month: it's time for him to brag about being the best in the world after another successful title defense. If he sucks like the audience says, why does he still have this title? There's no one here to take me on, so maybe he should go around the world to find competition. Cue the returning Alex Shelley, once again with the skunk hair.
He talks about the Guns being injured and how he came back the day Sabin hurt his knee. Shelley wanted to wait on Sabin to get back but Aries has bored him so much that he had to come back. Last time it took a low blow for Aries to beat him. Aries says go wait for Sabin to come back because there's no point to doing anything else. Shelley says if he's such a non-threat, Aries should have no issue giving him a title match. Aries says whoa whoa whoa, but you have to earn it. Go find an X Division guy and beat them, then you get your show. Shelley says Aries can pick it.
ODB wants Angelina to get destroyed tonight. Winter jumps her and they brawl with ODB seemingly in control. Winter gets in a shot with a metal something and then whips ODB with a belt.
Angelina Love vs. Eric Young
Let's get this over with. Eric isn't sure what to do so he locks up with the referee. Then with a fan. Then he jumps back in. Then he locks up with the referee again. The referee is shoved into Angelina in the corner and Eric counts to four for a near DQ. Angelina kicks him low for the DQ at 1:57. Oh....just no.
ODB with the save but she gets beaten down. Eric sends both evil ones to the floor. ODB kisses him.
Storm says it's his time to be champion.
James Storm vs. Jeff Hardy
Winner gets Roode at Against All Odds. They quickly go to the mat with Hardy having moderate control. Storm hits a clothesline but is tired already and we take a break. Back with Hardy sending him to the floor and taking over back in the ring. Storm channels his inner Blanchard and hits a slingshot suplex. After a quick chinlock, Jeff starts his comeback and hits the Whisper in the Wind for two.
Now Jeff hooks a chinlock. They've been going in a low gear up to this point. Eye of the Storm is countered but Storm hits some freaky release mat slam for two. He loads up the Last Call but Jeff counters into the Twisting Stunner. Here comes the Swanton but Storm breaks it up. A superplex is countered but Storm hits an enziguri to knock Jeff down. Now the superplex hits but both guys are down. And then Bully Ray comes in and hits the referee for the no contest at 13:24.
Ray beats them both down and beats up referees also, all with the chain. Sting comes out with the bat and beats up Ray, chasing him off to end the show. Or wait is it the end? No it isn't as Roode comes in and both guys get belt shots. THAT ends the show.
Results
Gunner b. AJ Styles – DDT
Crimson b. Magnus – Red Sky
Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT
Eric Young b. Angelina Love via DQ when Love kicked Young low
Jeff Hardy vs. James Storm went to a no contest when Bully Ray interfered
Friday
Impact got a 1.2, up from last week.
Smackdown
Date: January 20, 2012
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T
It's another world title match tonight, this time with Henry getting his rematch. We're in Vegas though so tonight, it's the return of Spin the Wheel Make the Deal (Always thought Raw Roulette was a weak name). That means gimmick matches a go-go and hopefully a little build up to the Rumble other than like 4 guys. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week with AJ getting run over by Big Show.
Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the ice storm keeping my grandmother in Washington.
Here's Bryan to open the show. He says the name Sin City Smackdown is appropriate because Big Show committed a sin last week by running over AJ. Show is bitter because his reign was so short. AJ is severely injured and her career may be over. She was out there because she loves Bryan, which no one has ever said to him before. AJ will be here in spirit though. He's not afraid of Henry or Show either, the latter of which isn't here tonight. Bryan says that's good because he couldn't be held responsible for what he would do to Show. Show should just quit.
There's a casino setup in the back and it's basically a party. Aksana and Teddy are talking and sexual shenanigans are implied. Cody interrupts them and says Goldust spun the wheel to get a Vegas Showgirls Match. I'm not sure if he's serious or not. Cody spins and gets Player's Choice. He can pick his opponent for his match which is up next. Cody points to the left and says he picks him. At first it appears to be Jackson, then Marella, but it's really Horny.
Cody Rhodes vs. Hornswoggle
It seems that the newest tagline that they're trying to get over is that Cody is the last hope for the Rhodes' Family. Cody shoves Horny down in the aisle but Justin Gabriel runs down for the save. Justin jumps on the match and challenges Cody. Cody insists it's non-title and it's on.
Cody Rhodes vs. Justin Gabriel
Justin pounds him down in the corner and a dropkick sends Cody to the ropes. Cody comes back with a dropkick of his own. Off to a chinlock as Horny plays cheerleader. Cody grabs the arm and cranks on it. Cole makes fun of Booker, Josh gets us back to the match, I'm sure you know the drill. Justin comes back with an enzigrui and loads up the 450 but Cody moves. Cole: “How great was that?” Booker: “He just moved.” Backslide gets two for Justin as does a springboard crossbody. Justin tries a monkey flip but gets dropped on the ropes. Cross Rhodes gets the pin at 3:42.
Mark spins the wheel for his title match tonight. He's not happy with having to do it and blames Teddy for AJ getting hurt last week. It'll be his fault when Bryan is hurt later. Mark tells Teddy to spin for him and it's a lumberjack match. That's cool with Henry.
Epico/Primo vs. Usos
Please don't have them get squashed. This is a tornado match, meaning tagging isn't required and everyone is in the ring at once. We get a Siva Tao which makes me very happy. And Booker is playing with toys. Brawl to start and Epico gets beaten down. Jey gets dropped to the floor and it's a handicap situation for a bit. Jey finally gets back in and the Usos take over with Samoan Twin Magic. Stereo splashes look to set up stereo Umaga corner bumps and they go to the corner. Rosa yells a lot and Jey gets caught. Superfly Splash gets two but Primo makes the save and a Backstabber ends this at 2:40.
Don't try this at home.
This Rumble Moment: last year with Booker and Nash. Santino coming in at the end had me freaking out. Brilliantly done.
Aksans talks about slot machines and sex jokes are made. Sheamus comes in before this hits PG-13. Sheamus vs. Barrett is a tables match.
It's time for a dance off. Listen to that pop for Brodus! And yes I know it's probably canned but I'm loving this character. Booker and Cole lose it over the dinosaur claws thing. I know it's stupid but my goodness this is great. His opponent: Vickie Guerrero. Vickie says she can dance but she looks like she's a puppet. Brodus has Cameron and Naomi dance for him first, then shakes more than federal law should allow.
Clay is declared the winner but Vickie protests. She dances more but cue.....William Regal? He defends Vickie who is crying. She leaves and Brodus asks where Regal is going. He calls Regal a funky chicken (then makes Hawk noises)....and it's on. Regal says hit his music and it's better than expected, but Aww Funk It. Brodus says someone call his Mama.
Don't be a bully.
Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett
Tables match. Barrett takes him to the corner to start which is fine for Sheamus as he pounds away. It's a brawl to start and Barrett is sent to the floor. Sheamus' back is rammed into the barricade and Barrett gets a table. One gets set up on the floor but Barrett escapes and sends Sheamus into the post to take over. Back inside where there is no table. Barrett almost kicks him off the apron through the table but Sheamus hangs on.
A suplex is countered and Sheamus gets the clubbing forearms on the apron. A running forearm knocks Barrett over the table and slams him into the table at ringside. Sheamus puts another table into the ring but Barrett kicks him in the face. Barrett puts it in instead and Sheamus is in trouble. Wasde sets to drive him through it, only to have Sheamus counter with a sunset flip. Sheamus pounds away and puts him on the table.
Barrett breaks up whatever Sheamus was going to try from the top and tries a superplex. Sheamus breaks it up and jumps over the table then catches Barrett in the Irish Curse. Table is put up in the corner but as Sheamus sets to put him through it, Jinder freaking Mahal comes out for a distraction and Barrett puts Sheamus through it for the win at approximately 9:00 (had some clock issues so that might not be accurate).
Post match Mahal sets up a table for Sheamus, but just like every other time, Sheamus shrugs him off and puts Mahal through the table after a Brogue Kick.
Ted DiBiase vs. Hunico
We don't know the stipulation yet. Teddy spins the wheel and it's a flag match. You have to get the flag from the corner to win it. They run out and put up the posts with flags. Nice to see them having something that seems spontaneous like that. Quick inset interview has DiBiase saying that Hunico and Camacho can have their own party after losing tonight. Hunico takes him down to start but Dibiase gets in a reverse powerbomb to take over. His attempt at the flag doesn't work but neither does Hunico's. DiBiase gets launched to the floor but he manages to shove Hunico off the ropes. Back in DiBiase hits Dream Street and wins at 2:19.
Raw ReBound eats up about four minutes.
Teddy tells Drew that he's fired. Santino pops up and asks him to reconsider. He doesn't like the idea that his victory over Drew was a fluke. Unfunny dice jokes are made and Drew has one more chance in a blindfold match. Oh sweet hamburgers.
Don't try this at home, the Kofi edition.
Santino Marella vs. Drew McIntyre
It's a blindfold match. Let's get this over with. The Cobra gets a blindfold too. They throw blind strikes but Santino immediately gets two the pointing with the crowd helping. He has the Cobra loaded up already but Drew tackles him and they stumble to the floor. Drew punches the post and they get back in. Drew peaks but still misses a running boot. Using the audience for help, Santino hits the Cobra and gets the pin at 2:09. I can live with this because they kept it short. Usually these things are like ten minutes long.
Here come the lumberjacks.
Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Daniel Bryan
Lumberjack match. This gets big match intros, as it should. Bryan gets more boos than cheers. Bryan's first kick is countered and he gets shoved around with ease. The champ gets knocked to the apron a few times and tells the lumberjacks not to touch him. Henry stands on him chest and takes over with his size. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate. Bryan is knocked to the floor and Barrett tosses him back in.
We take a break and come back to see Bryan getting tossed around again. Bryan goes for the knee and eventually gets Henry down to his knees. A big kick to the head gets two and a power kickout. The lumberjacks won't throw Bryan back in so once he slides in himself, Mark takes his head off. Henry gets all ticked off and gorilla presses him to the floor. Bryan gets in a fight with the lumberjacks and Henry gets thrown to the floor but they can't throw him back in. Half of them come in and Henry shoves half of them off. Everyone comes in and it's thrown out at about 7:15 shown of 10:45. The bell never ended it so that's a guess.
Bryan escapes and it's basically a battle royal to end it. Cole freaks at Bryan for leaving. That's rather smart actually. Teddy yells at Bryan in the back. He makes a triple threat match for the Rumble with Bryan defending against Big Show and Henry in a cage. That's been the house show main event for a few weeks so that makes sense.
Results
Cody Rhodes b. Justin Gabriel – Cross Rhodes
Epico/Primo b. Usos – Backstabber to Jimmy
Wade Barrett b. Sheamus – Barrett put Sheamus through a table
Ted DiBiase b. Hunico – DiBiase captured the flag
Santino Marella b. Drew McIntyre – Cobra
Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when the lumberjacks interfered
Saturday
Jeff Hardy may have been injured last night at a house show. No word yet on how severe it is.
Sunday
Nothing here.
Quick Results
Raw
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom – Backstabber to Bourne
Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder – Gutwrench powerbomb
Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins – Rollup to Brie Bella
R-Truth b. The Miz, Sheamus and Wade Barrett in an over the top rope challenge
Brodus Clay b. JTG – Funky
Dolph Ziggler/David Otunga/Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan/CM Punk/Chris Jericho via DQ when Mick Foley interfered
NXT
Titus O'Neal b. Darren Young – Clash of the Titus
Percy Watson b. Heath Slater – Persecution
Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins b. Trent Barreta/Yoshi Tatsu
Impact Wrestling
Gunner b. AJ Styles – DDT
Crimson b. Magnus – Red Sky
Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT
Eric Young b. Angelina Love via DQ when Love kicked Young low
Jeff Hardy vs. James Storm went to a no contest when Bully Ray interfered
Smackdown
Cody Rhodes b. Justin Gabriel – Cross Rhodes
Epico/Primo b. Usos – Backstabber to Jimmy
Wade Barrett b. Sheamus – Barrett put Sheamus through a table
Ted DiBiase b. Hunico – DiBiase captured the flag
Santino Marella b. Drew McIntyre – Cobra
Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when the lumberjacks interfered
Lockdown will be in Nashville.
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 16, 2012
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
It's another Monday and if I didn't know any better, I'd have no idea that the Rumble was less than two weeks away. Has any Raw guy mentioned being in the Rumble at all? We've had nothing but the Cena vs. Kane stuff with Ryder running scared. Ryder defends the US Title tonight and for some reason Perez Hilton is here. Let's get to it.
Opening video is about Martin Luther King.
Let's Burn It To The Ground.
Here's Foley to open the show. He talks about enjoying being a non physical presence, including hosting This Is Your Life John Cena. However, his kids got to see him perform, (including being in the main event of Wrestlemania in this arena). He does have two other kids though, who haven't seen him perform. Due to that, he's entering the Rumble.
Cue Vickie and Ziggler. Ziggler yells at him about taking up a spot in the Rumble from someone else that could use it more. Foley says it might be a huge mistake but he'll be there to win it. Ziggler talks about everything he's done to get to this point in his career and how he can't imagine facing someone fat like Foley at Mania for his world title. He tells Foley to go home, get a new shirt, eat a salad and go home.
Cue Punk who is glad to see Foley. Punk says that he and Foley are a lot alike in that they're unconventional and don't look like the rest of the WWE roster. He makes fun of Ziggler's look and Ace in general. They get in an argument with Vickie and here's Ace. He says he'll be fair at the Rumble and says he'll consider Foley in the Rumble. After about 2 seconds, he says no. Vickie laughs at him and that's it.
Tag Titles: Epico/Primo vs. Air Boom
Neither team even gets intros. Great to see how well the new champs are treated. We actually get clips of the title change last night. There's a fortune to be made in filming house show stuff and releasing like 3 hours of it for ten bucks on DVD or WWE.com or something. The matches are already there anyway so just film them. Epico vs. Bourne to start us off.
Bourne hits an awesome standing rana to Epico off the top to send him into Primo. Off to Kofi who cleans a house that wasn't very dirty in the first place. Boom Drop gets two and it's Trouble in Paradise time, but Primo breaks it up. The kick hits Epico a second later but the Shooting Star takes too long to hit. Backstabber keeps the titles on the champs at 2:20.
Ace is in the back when Otunga comes in. He hands Ace an envelope which isn't spoken of again. Someone comes in and Ace puts him in the main event: a six man with Bryan/Punk vs. Otunga/Ziggler/Henry. It's Jericho, who turns off the lights, turns on the jacket, and poses.
The envelope that Otunga handed Ace was a doctor's update on Ryder. We go to the back where Ryder is with Eve. His ribs are all taped up. Josh comes up and they say that he's in no condition to compete. He says he won't forfeit the title and Eve says she'll go with him.
We get a video from last week about Kane/Ryder/Cena and all that stuff.
US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder
Swagger goes straight for the ribs and Ryder's offense can't do much. Vader Bomb to the back gets two. Gutwrench powerbomb barely gets two. Another gets the same. He drops elbows on Ryder's ribs and slaps him around before hitting a third powerbomb...and he wins the freaking title at 2:35.
After a break Ace says that Ryder wasn't medically cleared. And that's it.
Great and no it's Hilton time. He's booed out of the freaking building. Thank you Anaheim.
Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox vs. Bella Twins
Perez breaks up Twin Magic and Kelly gets a rollup at 55 seconds. GET RID OF THIS DIVISION ALREADY.
Rumble moment: 92 with Flair's marathon. Heenan's reaction to Flair being #3 is left out here for no apparent reason.
Here's Truth but before he can say anything cue Barrett. Barrett: “R-Truth...if that's even your real name.” Ok that made me smile. Truth is officially in the Rumble and Foley isn't. Truth says Barrett talks funny. The fans are allowed to WHAT him. Truth went to Disneyland this morning and it made him smile. He has a slideshow to show us. First of all he met Mickie and Minnie. And Donald Duck.
Then he met Pinocchio who said Barrett is winning the Rumble. The picture of Pinocchio's nose grows. Truth: “I don't even know if that's PG.” Truth bashes Barrett when Miz jumps him. Sheamus makes the save. Cue Teddy who is here because....I have no idea. Let's have an over the top rope challenge.
Sheamus vs. The Miz vs. R-Truth vs. Wade Barrett
After the feuds pair off, everyone joins up to throw out Barrett. Truth and Sheamus get into it but Miz takes them both down. Sheamus “hits” three double axes (and by that I mean they missed by six inches each) and the forearms to the chest. Brogue Kick misses and Miz can't knock him out. Sheamus tries to put him out but Truth throws them both out to win at 5:10.
Miz gets his head kicked off post match.
Cena comes in to yell at Ace who makes Cena vs. Kane for the PPV. Cena vs. Swagger is...next?
Jack Swagger vs. John Cena
Cena takes his head off before the bell even rings. Out to the floor and Cena keeps destroying him. The bell never rang and Cena beats the tar out of him. Let me guess: embrace the hate right? Cena sets to crush Swagger's skull with the steps but cue Kane's pyro and music. Kane pops up on the monitor and says Cena will have embraced the hate by the Rumble. You know, because Cena has NEVER been violent or aggressive before right? Give me a break. There was no match.
Here's Brodus who has a new intro with I'm assuming his dancing chicks talking about how he's the only Funkasaurus in captivity.
Brodus Clay vs. JTG
JTG gets molested but he does manage to get in a punch. Brodus does his chatting during the match. Corner splash sets up the cross body and we're done at 1:09. The finisher is called Funky. Ok then.
We recap Show running over AJ last week.
Here's Bryan for an update on her. He runs down Big Show for what happened and says they were fake tears. Show should never show his face on Smackdown. Violence is threatened if he does appear. Bryan is dedicating his match Friday to AJ.
Daniel Bryan/Chris Jericho/CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler/Mark Henry/David Otunga
Punk vs. Ziggler gets us going. The champ takes over to start and a snap suplex gets two. Off to Bryan who might have tweeked his knee. Ziggler DDTs it and it's off to Otunga. Bryan takes a beating but it's off to Punk vs. Otunga. Notice that Jericho hasn't been in there yet. Ziggy comes back in and stomps away on the champ. Punk gets in a shot and Jericho wants in but Ziggler stops it and it's back to Otunga.
Naturally Punk beats him down, hits the Macho Elbow and it's off to Jericho. Jericho plays to the crowd instead of going after Otunga though....and tags out to Bryan, walks up the ramp, and leaves. We take a break as no one is quite sure what's going on. Back with Bryan in trouble and it's off to Punk quickly. He hits the springboard clothesline but Henry comes in. Everything breaks down and Bryan pops Henry, but Mark screams at him. Bryan hobbles away and they fight up the aisle.
Ok so it's 2-1 now more or less. Henry is beating Bryan up....and here's Foley? The fans seemingly boo this out of the building but it's hard to tell. Fameasser gets two on Punk. Punk gets in a kick and it's off to Foley who gets a pop so I must have misunderstood the reaction earlier. He destroys Otunga and hits the running knee in the corner. Double arm DDT hits and it's Socko! It gets the win at 14:43.
Ace comes out post match and reverses the decision. Punk gets in his face and says the reason Ace doesn't like Punk is because Ace never was anything but a look. He was the brother of a Road Warrior but he was nothing more than roadkill. It kills Ace that he never made it to this level as a competitor. Punk swears he's going to get cheated at the Rumble because Ace can't stand that Punk is the champion. No matter what, Punk will still be better than Ace because the people will be talking about Ace for the first time, but it'll be because Punk is going to destroy him. Punk fakes him out with a punch and calls Ace pathetic.
Punk leaves and Foley gets Ace a very funny double thumbs up. Ace is ticked off but we're not done yet. He says he'll be the future permanent GM of Raw and he won't be intimidated by Punk. Foley says just admit that you're going to screw Punk. He calls Ace a sycophant, which is New York Times bestsellerish for kiss-up. Ace wants to know who Foley thinks he is. He admits he's going to screw Punk because he's tired of being bullied because he's not appreciated for putting on the best shows he can. He hits Foley with the mic
Results
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom – Backstabber to Bourne
Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder – Gutwrench powerbomb
Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins – Rollup to Brie Bella
R-Truth b. The Miz, Sheamus and Wade Barrett in an over the top rope challenge
Brodus Clay b. JTG – Funky
Dolph Ziggler/David Otunga/Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan/CM Punk/Chris Jericho via DQ when Mick Foley interfered
Tuesday
Nothing.
Wednesday
The WWE PPV calendar is currently showing Fatal Fourway in June and Bragging Rights in December with no TLC show listed.
Raw got a 3.0.
Smackdown got a 2.2. That came out of nowhere.
NXT
Date: January 18, 2012
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
It's the 100th episode of this accursed show and we're in Vegas for a wedding. Naturally it'll be here in the arena in front of an audience because that's how wrestling works. Also we're going to have Titus vs. Young for like the 9th time because that's all we can do on this season. Something big has to happen tonight right? Let's get to it.
The opening video is a recap of the wedding thing and the love triangle.
Theme song. This is the closest thing to an NXT Supershow we'll ever have anymore I think.
Cole is on commentary tonight. Oh boy. I think this is just a one night return.
Titus O'Neil vs. Darren Young
No DQ match. Young runs to the floor for a bit but back in the ring he gets run over by an elbow. Backbreaker gets two for Titus. Darren gets thrown to the floor an DO THE DOG BARK! A slam of some sort on the floor puts Darren down but he manages a neckbreaker on the apron to take Titus down and we take a break. Back with Darren getting two off something we missed.
Belly to back gets two. Off to a cravate and Young sends him into the corner. The gutbuster gets two. The No DQ aspect of this has meant nothing so far. Young sets for another gutbuster but since he used that already and isn't a main event guy, Titus counters and sends him in for the Clash of the Titus and the pin at 5:57.
Titus gets on the mic afterwards and says he wants to thank the fans. He wants to thank them for absolutely nothing. Titus goes on a rant about how he's sick of doing everything for 46 weeks and getting stuck with a leprechaun for nothing. He's the star of this show and the star of every show the WWE has to offer. Cole's heckling kills this for a bit because he laughs instead of acting like this is something special. Thanks for nothing and now he'll be making it a win for himself. Cole makes fun of him again, totally diminishing the shock value of the turn.
Heath Slater vs. Percy Watson
Watson takes over with a dropkick to start. Cole lists off his various accomplishments as Slater takes over. Cole asks about the Redemption Points thing and Josh isn't sure how they work either. Slater takes over and there's nothing interesting going on here. Josh and Cole argue about Lynyrd Skynyrd and Watson starts his comeback. He jumps around a lot but the fans seem more interested in Slater than Watson. Spinning splash gets two. Persecution ends this at 3:41.
Maxine yells at the Usos. Jey sneezes on her dress.
Maxine yells at more people when Curtis shows up and says calm down. She goes off ranting and Kaitlyn comes up. Curtis hits on her and gets called creepy.
Yoshi Tatsu/Trent Barreta vs. Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins
This match AGAIN? Wait why am I surprised by that? Trent vs. Curt starts us off but it's off to Reks quickly. Yoshi jumps in with a top rope chop for two. Was there a tag that I missed? Josh brings up Cole not talking about Superstars enough. Cole says look what he did for Bryan and Hawkins gets two. Cole also says he had a role in keeping the title on Miz. Powerslam gets two for Reks.
Cole blasts the hypocrisy of people praising Bryan's cash-in but blasting people like Edge. Double tag brings in Trent and Reks as this match is very forgettable. Running boot gets two for Trent. Cole says none of these guys are part of the competition which is true. I love Cole pointing out stupid stuff on here. Whisper in the Wind gets two for Barreta and everything breaks down. Reks loads up Barreta onto a shoulder like for a powerbomb but spins to the side into a DDT and the pin at 5:39.
Raw ReBound. Ace's eruption is still pretty good.
The wedding set is built in the ring. Elvis is performing the ceremony. And it's Striker as Elvis. He's been ordained for a full five minutes. The fans aren't impressed by his accent at all. Curtis is brought out who is in a leather jacket and a tuxedo t-shirt. There's some guy with him who looks a little drunks. Maxine comes out and to be fair, she does look good in the dress. She yells about the drunk guy (Chad, who says he was promised a chance to meet Hillbilly Jim) but shuts up eventually.
We get to the vows and Curtis says yes. She says yes also but we get to the objection part and the crowd pops in expectation. You would think Bateman would come out there but actually Striker takes off the glasses (it was obvious it was him and not meant to be a secret I don't think) and says “Really? No one here objects to this?” Funny line. Bateman finally comes out for the big overly dramatic objection and actually rocking a suit.
He says he didn't send the e-mail, but Curtis did. Bateman shows us footage of Curtis stealing an iPad and sending the e-mail. It took him about 4 seconds to send an e-mail that took 20 seconds to read but whatever. Maxine freaks and Curtis says he wants Maxine to come with him to the top. She slaps him and the brawl between the guys breaks out. Bateman hits his finisher on Curtis and walks off. Maxine says wait and slaps Bateman then kisses him. And that's it. No seriously, that's the end of the show.
Results
Titus O'Neal b. Darren Young – Clash of the Titus
Percy Watson b. Heath Slater – Persecution
Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins b. Trent Barreta/Yoshi Tatsu
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: January 19, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
We're moving closer to Against All Odds after last week's pretty awesome show. Well at least the second hour was. Tonight there's a big match and it's actually been advertised. I'm as shocked as you are. It's a cage match between Mickie James and Madison Rayne to probably blow off their feud stemming from Karen being all evil and crazy. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the ending from last week's show.
Here's Storm to open things up. He likes being #1 contender and he beat the best in the world to do it. Angle may be the best, but on those nights, Storm was that much better. Now he's got Roode at Against All Odds....and here's Hardy for a rebuttal. He says he got screwed at the PPV and then again last week. Storm isn't getting a title shot until Hardy does. They both say they got screwed. Storm: “With all that screwing he must have a lot of child support to pay.”
Here's Roode who says Storm does in fact get the winner of Hardy vs. Roode, but since there's no winner, Storm isn't #1 contender anymore. Hardy got two chances in 5 days and blew them both, so he's out too. This brings out Sting who says Roode found another loophole. Therefore tonight it's Storm vs. Hardy and the winner gets Roode at the PPV.
Angelina rants about Eric Young a bit and challenges him to a match later tonight.
Gunner vs. AJ Styles
The announcers keep pushing the idea that Gunner has injured a lot of people. AJ does his usual stuff to start, such as the drop down into a dropkick. Gunner takes over and Tazz actually brings up Flair and AJ's past relationship. Jumping knee to the face gets two for Gunner. Gunner controls for a bit but AJ comes back with the springboard forearm. Here come Kaz and Daniels with Daniels telling Kaz to do what he's supposed to do. F5 is countered and Flair pops up on the apron. The distraction lets Kaz deck AJ and a DDT from Gunner gets the pin at 4:45.
Gunner goes for the concrete but AJ gets away.
Magnus is ready for Crimson. Crimson and Morgan come up and Crimson threatens Magnus. Morgan says save it for the ring.
Ray is with Sting and demands a world title match since he hasn't lost since being a singles wrestler. Sting says no and make an appointment the next time you want to talk to me. Ray kind of threatens him...I think. Sting even lifts the glasses and Ray is mad.
Magnus vs. Crimson
No seconds with either guy. Magnus jumps him to start and hits a clothesline for two. And never mind as Red Sky (a bad one) ends this at 1:10.
Joe comes out post match and beats down Crimson. Morgan finally makes the save. He gets beaten down too and Joe/Magnus stand tall.
Eric young is fascinated by Bellator. A caterer comes up and Eric annoys her by thinking she's a fighter. He says he doesn't fight women. ODB comes up and talks about Angelina's challenge and Eric isn't happy. Sex is implied.
We get a clip from last week with the Bischoff Hour. Garrett is shown training. He says we'll find out who's training him soon.
We recap Mickie vs. Madison. I'm not sure this warrants a cage match but it's not bad.
Madison freaks out and Gail says let's just go to the ring.
Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne
Mickie starts fast and rams her into the buckle to start. Powerbomb out of the corner hits and we're officially longer than the Lockdown match from last year. Seated dropkick gets a delayed two. Mickie hooks something like a choke and Madison is in trouble. Madison escapes and hits a HARD kick to take over. That sounded great. Mickie reverses a whip and we take a break.
Back with Mickie in control again. This has been pretty one sided so far. Mickie takes her down and nips up but Madison sends her into the cage to take over. Madison humps the mat with Mickie's head between her legs. Somehow that's a lot less hot than you would expect. Off to the chinlock. Madison has a little American flag patch on her shorts. Not sure why but it looks good there.
Mickie fights up and a neckbreaker from James puts both of them down. They slug it out, won by Mickie. A flying forearm and clothesline put Madison down. Another flapjack attempt is countered and a boot gets two for Rayne. And then Mickie rams her into the cage a few times and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 12:23.
Austin Aries talks about what he's going to talk about and how entertaining he is. I didn't leave anything out there: he says he's going to talk about something and how interesting whatever he'll be saying will be without saying what it is.
Velvet and Tara congratulate Mickie. She says she's hardcore or something. No idea what the point of this was.
Hardy says that the world title is what it takes to validate everything.
Video on Aries and his domination of the X Division. He talks about how dominant he is and says he needs competition.
Here's Aries in the arena. He says it's that time of the month: it's time for him to brag about being the best in the world after another successful title defense. If he sucks like the audience says, why does he still have this title? There's no one here to take me on, so maybe he should go around the world to find competition. Cue the returning Alex Shelley, once again with the skunk hair.
He talks about the Guns being injured and how he came back the day Sabin hurt his knee. Shelley wanted to wait on Sabin to get back but Aries has bored him so much that he had to come back. Last time it took a low blow for Aries to beat him. Aries says go wait for Sabin to come back because there's no point to doing anything else. Shelley says if he's such a non-threat, Aries should have no issue giving him a title match. Aries says whoa whoa whoa, but you have to earn it. Go find an X Division guy and beat them, then you get your show. Shelley says Aries can pick it.
ODB wants Angelina to get destroyed tonight. Winter jumps her and they brawl with ODB seemingly in control. Winter gets in a shot with a metal something and then whips ODB with a belt.
Angelina Love vs. Eric Young
Let's get this over with. Eric isn't sure what to do so he locks up with the referee. Then with a fan. Then he jumps back in. Then he locks up with the referee again. The referee is shoved into Angelina in the corner and Eric counts to four for a near DQ. Angelina kicks him low for the DQ at 1:57. Oh....just no.
ODB with the save but she gets beaten down. Eric sends both evil ones to the floor. ODB kisses him.
Storm says it's his time to be champion.
James Storm vs. Jeff Hardy
Winner gets Roode at Against All Odds. They quickly go to the mat with Hardy having moderate control. Storm hits a clothesline but is tired already and we take a break. Back with Hardy sending him to the floor and taking over back in the ring. Storm channels his inner Blanchard and hits a slingshot suplex. After a quick chinlock, Jeff starts his comeback and hits the Whisper in the Wind for two.
Now Jeff hooks a chinlock. They've been going in a low gear up to this point. Eye of the Storm is countered but Storm hits some freaky release mat slam for two. He loads up the Last Call but Jeff counters into the Twisting Stunner. Here comes the Swanton but Storm breaks it up. A superplex is countered but Storm hits an enziguri to knock Jeff down. Now the superplex hits but both guys are down. And then Bully Ray comes in and hits the referee for the no contest at 13:24.
Ray beats them both down and beats up referees also, all with the chain. Sting comes out with the bat and beats up Ray, chasing him off to end the show. Or wait is it the end? No it isn't as Roode comes in and both guys get belt shots. THAT ends the show.
Results
Gunner b. AJ Styles – DDT
Crimson b. Magnus – Red Sky
Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT
Eric Young b. Angelina Love via DQ when Love kicked Young low
Jeff Hardy vs. James Storm went to a no contest when Bully Ray interfered
Friday
Impact got a 1.2, up from last week.
Smackdown
Date: January 20, 2012
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T
It's another world title match tonight, this time with Henry getting his rematch. We're in Vegas though so tonight, it's the return of Spin the Wheel Make the Deal (Always thought Raw Roulette was a weak name). That means gimmick matches a go-go and hopefully a little build up to the Rumble other than like 4 guys. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week with AJ getting run over by Big Show.
Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the ice storm keeping my grandmother in Washington.
Here's Bryan to open the show. He says the name Sin City Smackdown is appropriate because Big Show committed a sin last week by running over AJ. Show is bitter because his reign was so short. AJ is severely injured and her career may be over. She was out there because she loves Bryan, which no one has ever said to him before. AJ will be here in spirit though. He's not afraid of Henry or Show either, the latter of which isn't here tonight. Bryan says that's good because he couldn't be held responsible for what he would do to Show. Show should just quit.
There's a casino setup in the back and it's basically a party. Aksana and Teddy are talking and sexual shenanigans are implied. Cody interrupts them and says Goldust spun the wheel to get a Vegas Showgirls Match. I'm not sure if he's serious or not. Cody spins and gets Player's Choice. He can pick his opponent for his match which is up next. Cody points to the left and says he picks him. At first it appears to be Jackson, then Marella, but it's really Horny.
Cody Rhodes vs. Hornswoggle
It seems that the newest tagline that they're trying to get over is that Cody is the last hope for the Rhodes' Family. Cody shoves Horny down in the aisle but Justin Gabriel runs down for the save. Justin jumps on the match and challenges Cody. Cody insists it's non-title and it's on.
Cody Rhodes vs. Justin Gabriel
Justin pounds him down in the corner and a dropkick sends Cody to the ropes. Cody comes back with a dropkick of his own. Off to a chinlock as Horny plays cheerleader. Cody grabs the arm and cranks on it. Cole makes fun of Booker, Josh gets us back to the match, I'm sure you know the drill. Justin comes back with an enzigrui and loads up the 450 but Cody moves. Cole: “How great was that?” Booker: “He just moved.” Backslide gets two for Justin as does a springboard crossbody. Justin tries a monkey flip but gets dropped on the ropes. Cross Rhodes gets the pin at 3:42.
Mark spins the wheel for his title match tonight. He's not happy with having to do it and blames Teddy for AJ getting hurt last week. It'll be his fault when Bryan is hurt later. Mark tells Teddy to spin for him and it's a lumberjack match. That's cool with Henry.
Epico/Primo vs. Usos
Please don't have them get squashed. This is a tornado match, meaning tagging isn't required and everyone is in the ring at once. We get a Siva Tao which makes me very happy. And Booker is playing with toys. Brawl to start and Epico gets beaten down. Jey gets dropped to the floor and it's a handicap situation for a bit. Jey finally gets back in and the Usos take over with Samoan Twin Magic. Stereo splashes look to set up stereo Umaga corner bumps and they go to the corner. Rosa yells a lot and Jey gets caught. Superfly Splash gets two but Primo makes the save and a Backstabber ends this at 2:40.
Don't try this at home.
This Rumble Moment: last year with Booker and Nash. Santino coming in at the end had me freaking out. Brilliantly done.
Aksans talks about slot machines and sex jokes are made. Sheamus comes in before this hits PG-13. Sheamus vs. Barrett is a tables match.
It's time for a dance off. Listen to that pop for Brodus! And yes I know it's probably canned but I'm loving this character. Booker and Cole lose it over the dinosaur claws thing. I know it's stupid but my goodness this is great. His opponent: Vickie Guerrero. Vickie says she can dance but she looks like she's a puppet. Brodus has Cameron and Naomi dance for him first, then shakes more than federal law should allow.
Clay is declared the winner but Vickie protests. She dances more but cue.....William Regal? He defends Vickie who is crying. She leaves and Brodus asks where Regal is going. He calls Regal a funky chicken (then makes Hawk noises)....and it's on. Regal says hit his music and it's better than expected, but Aww Funk It. Brodus says someone call his Mama.
Don't be a bully.
Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett
Tables match. Barrett takes him to the corner to start which is fine for Sheamus as he pounds away. It's a brawl to start and Barrett is sent to the floor. Sheamus' back is rammed into the barricade and Barrett gets a table. One gets set up on the floor but Barrett escapes and sends Sheamus into the post to take over. Back inside where there is no table. Barrett almost kicks him off the apron through the table but Sheamus hangs on.
A suplex is countered and Sheamus gets the clubbing forearms on the apron. A running forearm knocks Barrett over the table and slams him into the table at ringside. Sheamus puts another table into the ring but Barrett kicks him in the face. Barrett puts it in instead and Sheamus is in trouble. Wasde sets to drive him through it, only to have Sheamus counter with a sunset flip. Sheamus pounds away and puts him on the table.
Barrett breaks up whatever Sheamus was going to try from the top and tries a superplex. Sheamus breaks it up and jumps over the table then catches Barrett in the Irish Curse. Table is put up in the corner but as Sheamus sets to put him through it, Jinder freaking Mahal comes out for a distraction and Barrett puts Sheamus through it for the win at approximately 9:00 (had some clock issues so that might not be accurate).
Post match Mahal sets up a table for Sheamus, but just like every other time, Sheamus shrugs him off and puts Mahal through the table after a Brogue Kick.
Ted DiBiase vs. Hunico
We don't know the stipulation yet. Teddy spins the wheel and it's a flag match. You have to get the flag from the corner to win it. They run out and put up the posts with flags. Nice to see them having something that seems spontaneous like that. Quick inset interview has DiBiase saying that Hunico and Camacho can have their own party after losing tonight. Hunico takes him down to start but Dibiase gets in a reverse powerbomb to take over. His attempt at the flag doesn't work but neither does Hunico's. DiBiase gets launched to the floor but he manages to shove Hunico off the ropes. Back in DiBiase hits Dream Street and wins at 2:19.
Raw ReBound eats up about four minutes.
Teddy tells Drew that he's fired. Santino pops up and asks him to reconsider. He doesn't like the idea that his victory over Drew was a fluke. Unfunny dice jokes are made and Drew has one more chance in a blindfold match. Oh sweet hamburgers.
Don't try this at home, the Kofi edition.
Santino Marella vs. Drew McIntyre
It's a blindfold match. Let's get this over with. The Cobra gets a blindfold too. They throw blind strikes but Santino immediately gets two the pointing with the crowd helping. He has the Cobra loaded up already but Drew tackles him and they stumble to the floor. Drew punches the post and they get back in. Drew peaks but still misses a running boot. Using the audience for help, Santino hits the Cobra and gets the pin at 2:09. I can live with this because they kept it short. Usually these things are like ten minutes long.
Here come the lumberjacks.
Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Daniel Bryan
Lumberjack match. This gets big match intros, as it should. Bryan gets more boos than cheers. Bryan's first kick is countered and he gets shoved around with ease. The champ gets knocked to the apron a few times and tells the lumberjacks not to touch him. Henry stands on him chest and takes over with his size. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate. Bryan is knocked to the floor and Barrett tosses him back in.
We take a break and come back to see Bryan getting tossed around again. Bryan goes for the knee and eventually gets Henry down to his knees. A big kick to the head gets two and a power kickout. The lumberjacks won't throw Bryan back in so once he slides in himself, Mark takes his head off. Henry gets all ticked off and gorilla presses him to the floor. Bryan gets in a fight with the lumberjacks and Henry gets thrown to the floor but they can't throw him back in. Half of them come in and Henry shoves half of them off. Everyone comes in and it's thrown out at about 7:15 shown of 10:45. The bell never ended it so that's a guess.
Bryan escapes and it's basically a battle royal to end it. Cole freaks at Bryan for leaving. That's rather smart actually. Teddy yells at Bryan in the back. He makes a triple threat match for the Rumble with Bryan defending against Big Show and Henry in a cage. That's been the house show main event for a few weeks so that makes sense.
Results
Cody Rhodes b. Justin Gabriel – Cross Rhodes
Epico/Primo b. Usos – Backstabber to Jimmy
Wade Barrett b. Sheamus – Barrett put Sheamus through a table
Ted DiBiase b. Hunico – DiBiase captured the flag
Santino Marella b. Drew McIntyre – Cobra
Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when the lumberjacks interfered
Saturday
Jeff Hardy may have been injured last night at a house show. No word yet on how severe it is.
Sunday
Nothing here.
Quick Results
Raw
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom – Backstabber to Bourne
Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder – Gutwrench powerbomb
Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins – Rollup to Brie Bella
R-Truth b. The Miz, Sheamus and Wade Barrett in an over the top rope challenge
Brodus Clay b. JTG – Funky
Dolph Ziggler/David Otunga/Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan/CM Punk/Chris Jericho via DQ when Mick Foley interfered
NXT
Titus O'Neal b. Darren Young – Clash of the Titus
Percy Watson b. Heath Slater – Persecution
Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins b. Trent Barreta/Yoshi Tatsu
Impact Wrestling
Gunner b. AJ Styles – DDT
Crimson b. Magnus – Red Sky
Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT
Eric Young b. Angelina Love via DQ when Love kicked Young low
Jeff Hardy vs. James Storm went to a no contest when Bully Ray interfered
Smackdown
Cody Rhodes b. Justin Gabriel – Cross Rhodes
Epico/Primo b. Usos – Backstabber to Jimmy
Wade Barrett b. Sheamus – Barrett put Sheamus through a table
Ted DiBiase b. Hunico – DiBiase captured the flag
Santino Marella b. Drew McIntyre – Cobra
Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when the lumberjacks interfered