Universe Wrestling Federation

[Mr. Book This Section]

 

[Mr. Book This Section]

 

[Mr. Book This Section]

 

[Mr. Book This Section]

 

[Mr. Book This Section]

Quote - TheCultOfPersonality

Hey man, I've been reading your show just haven't fedback as of yet, I will hopefully though for the ppv. Here's my predictions:

X division title
Jay Lethal (c) vs. Amazing Red


Zack Ryder vs. Ted DiBiase


Tv championship
RVD (c) vs. Rey Mysterio


Tag titles
MCMG (c) vs. TWGTT


Fatal 4 way
Kurt Angle vs. Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk vs. AJ Styles


UWF World title
The Miz (c) vs. Wade Barrett


UWF Championship
Jeff Hardy (c) vs. John Cena


Royal Rumble
The Undertaker!

Quote - SXEnightmare

Checked out your stuff last night man but I figured I was so far behind I would just shoot you a review after you post Genesis anyway heres my predictions....My winner I put in bold.

X Divison Championship
Amazing Red vs Jay Lethal

Winner Gets A Contract
Zack Ryder vs Ted Dibiase

TV Championship
Rey Mysterio vs Rob Van Dam

Tag Team Championship
Motor City Machine Guns vs Haas & Benjamin

Fatal Four Way
Daniel Bryan vs Kurt Angle vs CM Punk vs AJ Styles

World Championship
The Miz vs Wade Barrett

UWF Championship
Jeff Hardy vs John Cena

40 Man Royal Rumble Match
Edge

TheCultOfPersonality Scored - 13 Points.
SXEnightmare Scored - 18 Points.
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Scoreboard
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SXEnightmare - 18 Points
TheCultOfPersonality - 13 Points
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There will be chance to get more points at Against All Odds!
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[Mr. Book This Section]

What will be the aftermath of last night's PPV? James Falkon, Chairman of UWF, will be there. No one knows why he will be there but we think it is to address Vince McMahons job and rivalry with DX.

Last night during RVD v. Rey Mysterio for the TV Championship, Rey Mysterio seemed to hurt his knee. We will have a medical update on Rey Mysterio.

James Falkon also said on twitter he has an announcement regarding the TV Championship.

Also, Royal Rumble winner, Randy Orton will speak. Will he choose who he wrestles at Wrestlemania?

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No Matches Have Been Confirmed.
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[Mr. Book This Section]

*Show begins

Tazz
Hello and welcome to Velocity! What a night we have tonight!

Joey Styles
Your right Tazz and were kicking it off with James Falkon!

*James Falkon comes to the ring with Vince McMahon

James Falkon
I'm here tonight to make something clear to you Vince. What you did to DX and in the Rumble match was unnexceptable. Your punishement? YOUR FIRED!

Vince McMahon
Please! One more chance!

James Falkon
You know what I'm going to do... Vince, I'm going to fire you as GM of Velocity however, I'll make you a deal. At Against All Odds, you and Shane McMahon vs Triple H and Shaun Michaels! If you win, you get your job back.

Vince McMahon
But they don't work here?

James Falkon
They do now. I've signed them to legend contracts. That means if they want to appear on this show, all they have to do is ask me and if I say yes they can come. Now is the match on?

Vince McMahon
Fine! It's on. DX's ass is mine!

James Falkon
There you have it! At Against All Odds, it will be Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon vs Triple H and Shaun Michaels! If the McMahons win, Vince McMahon is rehired as Velocity GM!

Vince McMahon
Fine!

James Falkon
Onto tonight.. Tonight, there will be 5 qualifing matches for the Velocity Elimination Chamber. Since Jeff Hardy is UWF Champion, he is already in the match! The wrestlers already know who they are qualifying so lets get the first match underway!

*Kofi Kingston comes to the ring

*CM Punk comes to the ring

Match 1 - Kofi Kingston v. CM Punk in an Elimination Chamber Qualifyer
= The match is pretty much a fast pase match throughout. Kofi Kingston uses alot of his high flying moves. CM Punk uses some high flying but he can be found using just normal wrestling to. The match is mostly dominated by CM Punk who uses the GTS to win and qualify.
Winner = CM Punk (10:12)

Tazz
CM Punk has qualifyed for the Chamber.

Joey Styles
What an Impressive match for Kofi Kingston though!

Tazz
It certainly was! Well, guys at home I suggest you check out UWF.com! Starting Wednesday, there will be a new show called "UWF X Division" featuring superstars from Velocity, Excess and there will be over 10 new wrestlers joining the X Division!

Joey Styles
I cant wait and it says here that James Falkon will be managing the one hour show! I cant wait! It's going to be amazing.

Tazz
Yeah! It says here wrestlers like RVD, The Guns, Kofi Kingston and other wrestlers from Velocity will be there! Also Rey Mysterio!

Joey Styles
Talking of Rey Mysterio, he injured his leg yesterday and Doctors confirmed it isn't broken just twisted. He should be back in 5-6 weeks.

*Randy Orton comes to the ring

Randy Orton
My name is Randy Orton and I am the Royal Rumble winner. I have yet to decide what Champion I defeat at Wrestlemania. I'm going to wait until after against all odds to choose my opponent.

Suddenly, Chris Jericho runs out to ringside when Orton has his back turned and attacks him. Both men then brawl but Chris Jericho manages to run.

Randy Orton
Chris! I haven't got a match at Against All Odds but now I have. I want you at Against All Odds.

Chris Jericho
No! You wont face me.

*James Falkon comes to the ring

James Falkon
Randy, Chris.. you don't make the matches around here but Randy if you want Chris at Against All Odds, then you have him!

Chris Jericho
WHAT? WHAT?

James Falkon
Hang on a second Chris. Randy, you can only face Chris Jericho at Against All Odds if you put your Wrestlemania title shot on the line!

Randy Orton
Fine. It's on!

James Falkon
Ok then. Randy Orton v. Chris Jericho for Randy's Wrestlemania title match!

Joey Styles
That's huge

Tazz
It certainly is... Already tonight we have had 2 massive matches made for Against All Odds!

Joey Styles
Well our second Elimination Chamber Qualifyer is next!

*Edge comes to the ring

*Crimson comes to the ring

Match 2 - Edge v. Crimson in an Elimination Chamber Qualifyer
= During the match Edge dominated the entire match. Crimson didn't manage to get any offence into the match. The entire match was really fast and Edge hits a spear to win.
Winner = Edge (2:57)

Joey Styles
Wow. Fast match for Edge and what a match!

Tazz
Well Edge is now in the hunt for the UWF Championship! Could you imagen Edge v. Randy Orton for the UWF Championship at Wrestlemania?

Joey Styles
Or Edge v. Chris Jericho?

Tazz
Maybe

*Backstage in James Falkons Office

James Falkon
Ahh, Rob Vam Dam. I've called you to my office for 2 reasons. Reason 1 is to tell you it will be You taking on Brother Ray tonight for a spot in the Chamber. Reason 2 is to inform you that from now on, I need a fighting TV Champion and the TV Championship will be defended every single week. Either on Velocity or PPV. Starting next week!

RVD
Sure. I'm a fighting Champion and that means I'll defend this belt against all comers!

*Back to ringside

Joey Styles
Wow. What an announcement! RVD v. Brother Ray later on tonight!

Tazz
Well match 3 out of 5 now!

*AJ Styles comes to the ring

*Daniel Bryan comes to the ring

Match 3 - AJ Styles v. Daniel Bryan
= The match is very competive throughout. AJ Styles brings the highflying spots and Daniel Bryan brings the techinacle wrestling with a few submissions. No man truly dominates as throughout the entire match, both men get certain bits of offence in. There are points were Daniel Bryan looks like his going to win and point were AJ Styles looks like his going to win. In the end the Styles Clash picks up the win.
Winner = AJ Styles (13:21)

Joey Styles
What a match!

Tazz
Pay Per View Quality!

Joey Styles
Talking of PPV, AJ Styles has now advanced into the Elimination Chamber! That's massive!

Tazz
Well so far the Against All Odds PPV looks like this...

Joey Styles
Jeff Hardy will defend his UWF Championship inside the Elimination Chamber against CM Punk, Edge and AJ Styles and 2 more wrestlers will be announced soon!

Tazz
It will also be Vince McMahon teaming with his son, Shane McMahon to face Triple H and Shaun Michaels and if the McMahons win, Vince McMahon gets his job back!

Joey Styles
And Randy Orton will defend his claim to a Wrestlemania title shot against Chris Jericho!

Tazz
Already it is looking like an amazing Pay Per View!

Joey Styles
Your telling me and more matches are yet to be made!

*Backstage in James Falkon's office

James Falkon
Hello wrestling fans. I know your already aware that Wednesday sees the debut of a new X Division show.. now the X Division roster has got wrestlers from both Velocity and Excess. Along with 16 new talents. Wednesdays episode will feature a Battle Royal with the new talents along with an X Division championship fatal four way!

Alex Shelly
James! James! We needed to talk to you. Didn't we Chris?

Chris Sabin
We did!

Alex Shelly
Look man... we really tried in the Rumble last night.. why are we not in UWF Championship qualifyers?

James Falkon
Well Guns, Not everyone can be in the match however you are booked for the fatal four way match on Wednesday for the X Division Championship!

Alex Shelly
Ok.

Chris Sabin
Wait... if were in the match, Amazing Red is in the match... who is the forth man in the match?

James Falkon
Jay Lethal

*Back to ringside

Joey Styles
Well our fourth elimination Chamber qualifyer is next!

*RVD comes to the ring

*Brother Ray comes to the ring

Match 4 - RVD v. Brother Ray in an Elimination Chamber Qualifyer
= Throughout the match both men got bits of momentum in. RVD brought high flying and alot of kicks while Brother Ray braught power and dominated most of the match. Brother Devon accidently distracted RVD allowing him to hit a five star frog splash.
Winner = RVD (11:25)

Joey Styles
Impressive win there for RVD!

Tazz
Yep! RVD has advanced to the chamber. We have one spot to fill!

Joey Styles
Oh my! I'm being told that tonight it will be John Cena v. Kurt Angle for the final spot in the Chamber!

*John Cena comes to the ring

*Kurt Angle comes to the ring

Match 5 - John Cena v. Kurt Angle in an Elimination Chamber qualifyer
= The match is sometimes fast and sometimes it is slow paste. Both men had momentum. For the start of the match Kurt Angle owned but John Cena got back in it. Both men had moments were they looked like they were going to win but the Attitude Adjustment wins.
Winner = John Cena (28:24)

Joey Styles
What a match! Join us on Wednesday for Superstars!

Tazz
What a night!
​

 

[Mr. Book This Section]

Hey guys. My name is Choxy for all those who don't know me and I own Universe Wrestling Federation and it is a made up company. From this point on, it will have 3 shows. Monday Night Velocity, Wednesday Night X Divison and Friday Night Excess.

Our Champions:
UWF Champion - Jeff Hardy
UWF World Champion - Wade Barrett
UWF Tag Team Champions - Alex Shelly and Chris Sabin
UWF World Tag Team Champions - Bobby Roode and James Storm
UWF TV Champion - Rob Van Dam
UWF X Division Champion - Amazing Red
UWF Hardcore Champion - Samoa Joe

Current Feuds:
- Jeff Hardy and John Cena
- Wade Barrett and The Miz
- Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon and DX
- Amazing Red and Jay Lethal
- Randy Orton and Chris Jericho
- Austin Aires and Justin Gabriel

Now to recap the episodes that there has been so far in the year of 2012
-----------------------------------
Velocity 1
The first show of the year saw all three Velocity Championships get defended. John Cena defended the UWF Championship against Jeff Hardy in which Jeff Hardy won. The Motor City Machine Guns defended the tag team championships against Team 3D in which the Guns were successfull in defending. The TV Championship was also on the line in a 3 way. Rey Mysterio defended against Crimson and RVD. RVD won. The other feud going on was Kurt Angle, Daniel Bryan, CM Punk and AJ Styles. All 4 men had been brawling for a month. This was finnaly going to come to ahead at Genesis however on Velocity, Kurt Angle faced CM Punk and AJ Styles faced Daniel Bryan.

Excess 1
On Excess, the World Championship match was set for Genesis when it was confirmed The Miz would face Wade Barrett. Over in the X Division, Jay Lethal faced Amazing Red and John Morrison in a 3 way. Amazing Red won becoming the Number 1 contender to Jay Lethals title at Genesis. The match was confirmed to be a preshow. On a Victory Road rematch, Abyss faced Dolph Ziggler in a No DQ match which was won by Abyss. Justin Gabriel's royal rumble spot was on the line when he face Austin Aires. Austin Aires managed to win. The main event was all four tag teams going at it. Beer Money teamed up with British Invasion to beat the Fallan Angles, Seth Rollings and Dean Ambrose.

Velocity 2
With only three weeks to go for the Genesis PPV, things were heating up and confrontations were being made. The opening segment had a little bit of everything. Ten wrestlers from the past had come back such as The Rock and Stone Cold. Only to get insulted by John Cena. All of a sudden, Jeff Hardy, Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, RVD and Rey Mysterio were all out there and they were then booked in a six man battle royal, won by Jeff Hardy. There were also matches between other wrestlers such as Brother Devon defeating Homicide, Brother Ray defeated Desmond Wolfe and The Pope defeated Cody Rhodes and Rhino. Also AJ Styles managed to knock off Kurt Angle in a steel cage.

Excess 2
The spotlight of the X Division was a pick your poison series. Jay Lethal chose Amazing Red's opponent which happened to be Christian. Christian managed to defeat Amazing Red. Amazing Red was also aloud to choose Jay Lethal's opponent and that was Dolph Ziggler. Abyss tried to get momentum with a steel cage of Doom match against Sheamus. Abyss got the momentum to face Sheamus. The main event was a tag team match were the World Champion, The Miz and Alberto Del Rio defeated Wade Barrett and Austin Aires.

Velocity 3
Velocity saw two "All Star Triple Threat" Matches. Jeff Hardy faced Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton were as John Cena faced RVD and Chris Jericho. Tag Team Champion Alex Shelly faced challenger Charlie Haas were as the other tag team champion, Chris Sabin, faced Shelton Benjamin. Due to CM Punk's injury, AJ Styles was forced to go it alone when he faced Kurt Angle and Daniel Bryan in a handicap match which AJ Styles managed to win.

Excess 3
Hardcore was brought back to Excess a week before the Genesis PPV. Sheamus lost a tournement match to Samoa Joe and Mark Henry lost a tournement match to Abyss. This led to Samoa Joe vs Abyss being advertised for next week. In a tables match. The World tag team championships were on the line when Beer Money faced Seth Rollings and Dean Ambrose. The match was won by Beer Money. A six man battle royal main evented the show when The Miz faced Wade Barrett, Alberto Del Rio, Christian, Dolph Ziggler and Austin Aires. Wade Barrett cost The Miz the match in which Alberto Del Rio won.

Velocity 4
The Velocity go home show was really the show of Vince McMahon's true colors. Vince McMahon's daughter, Stephanie, also known as Triple H's husbond didn't want Triple H in the Rumble. Vince orginased a 5 on 1 match between The Guns, Team 3D and Cody Rhodes and they faced a victorious Triple H. Triple H won the match with help from Shaun Michaels and Road Dogg. In the end, DX got revenge on Vince McMahon. Randy Orton met with the TV Champion, RVD and Randy Orton was the winner. John Cena was scedualed to fight Rey Mysterio but Vince changed the match to the last minute in which the return of Edge came. Edge went on to defeat Rey Mysterio. Crimson took on The Pope in a "Momentum Match" and it was won by The Pope. Jeff Hardy also met with Chris Jericho but the match ended on a No Contest when a riot broke out.

Excess 4
It was revileed that the Genesis go home show would be an Open Fight Night. Throughout the night, the commentators were fighting. To start the show, it was revieled that Wade Barrett wasn't in the arena so The Miz called him out. All challenges must be answered so Miz got the countout victory on Wade Barrett. Mark Henry, angry about his loss to Abyss last week called out Sheamus. Sheamus defeated Mark Henry. Another fight broke out between the commentators and Jerry Lawler challenged Michael Cole to a match. Michael Cole won with the Cole lock and it looks like he broke Jerry Lawlers foot but it was announced that it wasn't broken, just hurt. Austin Aires looked to challenge Amazing Red and Amazing Red beat him. Dolph Ziggler called out the man who eliminated from a match last week, Christian. Dolph Ziggler then beat Christian. Abyss faced Samoa Joe for the hardcore championship in the main event. Samoa Joe won when Abyss got attacked by a masked man.

Genesis PPV
Genesis saw Amazing Red become the new X Division Champion in the pre show when he defeated Jay Lethal. Zack Ryder also got a UWF Contract by defeating local wrestler, Ted DiBiase. RVD managed to defeat Rey Mysterio when he injured his leg to regain the TV Championship. The Motor City machine guns started there night of with a win over Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas to regain the Tag Team Championship. The first of three main events happened when Wade Barrett became the new World Champion with a win over The Miz. The second main event saw Jeff Hardy defend his UWF Championship against John Cena. The third main event was the 40 man Royal Rumble match which saw Randy Orton win last eliminating Chris Jericho. Throughtout the one hour match there was a fight going on between Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, Alex Shelly, Chris Sabin, Desmond Wolfe, Brother Ray, Brother Devon and Edge as they brawled with Triple H, Shaun Michaels, Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, X Pac and Kofi Kingston.

Velocity 5
The aftermath of the Royal Rumble PPV also saw Vince McMahon's last night as General Manager. Or is it? A match for Against all odds was made. Vince McMahon will team with Shane McMahon to face Triple H and Shaun Michaels. If Vince and Shane win, Vince becomes GM once again. The rivalry between Randy Orton and Chris Jericho continued. A match between Randy and Jericho was made for Against all odds and if Randy loses, Jericho gets to choose what Champion he faces at Wrestlemania. The UWF Championship Elimination Chamber Match was also advertised. CM Punk, AJ Styles, Edge, RVD and John Cena all qualifyed. It was also announced that starting Wednesday, a new show called "UWF X Division" will debut with wrestlers from both Velocity and Excess along with 16 new wrestlers.

 

[Mr. Book This Section]

Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon v. Triple H and Shaun Michaels
Tag Team Match
If the McMahons win, Vince McMahon is rehired as Velocity General Manager.

Randy Orton v. Chris Jericho
Singles Match
If Randy Orton loses, Chris Jericho gets the Wrestlemania Title Shot

Jeff Hardy v. CM Punk v. Edge v. RVD v. John Cena v. AJ Styles
Elimination Chamber Match
UWF Championship

 

[Mr. Book This Section]

Hello! Choxy here. Anyway... I'm just going to bring up some basics about the newest show of UWF, X Division. It will be an hour long (Like Superstars) and it will be for wrestlers from Velocity and Excess. There will also be some other wrestlers Debuting with in the company.
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Currently signed to UWF:

Amazing Red
Jay Lethal
John Morrison
Kaval
Justin Gabriel
Austin Aires
Kaz
Daniels
Kofi Kingston
R Truth
Christian
Rey Mysterio
Tyson Kidd
AJ Styles
RVD
Chris Sabin
Alex Shelly
Shelton Benjamin
Homicide
--------------------------------
New Wrestlers:

Eric Young
Sonjay Dutt
Jimmy Wang Yang
Paul London
Jeremy Buck
Max Buck
Shannon Moore
Evan Bourne
Sin Cara
Consequences Creed
Shark Boy
Kiyoshi
Brian Kendrick
Petey Williams
----------------------------
Champions:

- X Division Championship
Amazing Red

- Cruiserweight Championship
N/A
----------------------------

 

[Megatron]

Megatrons Velocity Review:

I've only recently come back and have taken a look around the BT section, but I see that you're quite ambitious about your project and I'm here to give you a review and try to help you out some. Just note that if my criticism seems harsh it's because I'm only trying to help you. I'm not going to slight you for any reason and everything I comment on will be directly related to your show. I have no agenda against you, to put it short. Now, onto the review.

Not that it's necessary, but maybe you should ask someone that does banners to make you a Velocity banner. It obviously doesn't effect the quality of the show one bit, but it adds some to the presentation and makes your stuff look a bit nicer. Just one with 2 or 3 of your biggest stars would be enough, imo.

Considering that you're just coming off a PPV it would've been nice to see more banter between Tazz and Styles to kick off the show. Recap all the big moments from the day before and give us a small preview of what's in store for tonight. If Tazz says 'What a night we have tonight!' don't you think it would make sense for Styles to play off that and talk about some of the things that are planned for the night? Many people do a poor job of using the commentary as tools (myself included) but these guys should be used as another way to hype the show and make the events that will happen in the future a big deal. Nobody's going to care about/understand why Mr. McMahon is out there if Joey and Tazz don't give a backstory as to what happened a day/week ago.

Like I said above, it'd be nice to inform the audience what Vince did to DX the night before. As a first time reader, I'm lost because there was no sort of mention by anyone to what happened at the PPV. As for the opening promo, it's nice that you already have a few matches signed for the next PPV to give them some hype, but this confrontation between McMahon and Falkon really should've been in much more detail. You should've built up to Vince being told he was fired instead of announcing it right away. Not only that, but some non-speaking actions in between each guy talking could've added to the promo. Tell everyone that Vince's eyes open in shock when he's announced he's fired, or that he's on his knees begging Falkon to give him another chance, etc. Stuff like that can really add to the promo because it shows that it's a big deal to Vince that he's fired and that it's come out of nowhere. Decent booking, but the execution should've been much better.

You say the match was mostly dominated by CM Punk, but it lasts 10 minutes? You don't ever see squash matches last that long, and frankly if it was an Elimination Chamber qualifer for the world title I don't think Kofi would've jobbed to Punk so easily. I'd imagine it would've been a back and forth contest between the two since they're both quite respected and it did go long enough. It would've been nice to see some much more detail in the match, though. 2 lines isn't enough for a match that really has potential to be MOTN. I'll address your match writing more later on in this review.

Again with the problems in commentary. You said it was very Punk dominated in the description, yet Styles himself says he thought Kofi gave an impressive effort. See how one little writing mistake throws everything out of whack? Be more observant of how you write these matches. You can't have it both ways.

To be honest, since Orton was your RR winner, he should've either opened or closed the show. Those are the two biggest moments in a wrestling show, and you throw your potential star into a filler promo during the middle of the show. Not only that, but the whole promo was weird. Again, it would've been nice to see more non-speaking actions before Randy comes down. Have him come onto the turnbuckle and do his signature pose, have him come down with a shit eating grin since he's the RR winner. Something. You also should've allowed Randy to talk about his RR win more. Build himself up how he lasted through 39 others and proved his worth as a wrestler. Something. Too boring and generic and didn't even sound like a promo you'd see in the ring. Then why does Jericho come out during Orton's promo? Did Orton screw him out in the RR? Did he cost Jericho a title shot? Did Orton fuck Jericho's mother? What was the meaning of Jericho jumping Orton? What was his purpose? Jericho says a whole 7 words during this promo, not nearly enough. Don't you think it'd make sense to explain why Jericho attacked him, or at least wait a week and don't announce the match today. Then you make Orton put his shot on the line because Jericho attacked him? Why is Orton being punished by taking this huge risk? That's ass backwards. Either Orton should've attacked Jericho, or Jericho should've been the one putting something on the line. Jericho has nothing to lose and Orton has everything to lose. Why would Randy accept a match like this? He comes off as an absolute moron and it only took him 3 speaking lines to do so. Absolutely awful, both booking and writing. Sorry, but there's just no sense in this promo.

At least this match that's described a squash fits the bill more. Squashes shouldn't be more than 3 minutes and you had it just under there, so well done. Don't know why you're having a squash in a match that lets the winner compete for the world title, though. Should've gave Crimson more of a fight or put someone else in it. It just makes your World Title scene look a little depleated that a guy can qualify for the world title by winning a 3 minute match. Could've been executed much better than it was.

I guess it's nice to know that RVD is a face and will fight all comers, but it would've been beneficial to know that he is the Television champion before Falkon announced it. At first I thought Falkon was simply giving him the title and telling him go defend it. This makes a little more sense now, but again, non-speaking actions NEED to be given more detail. I'm not lying when I say I didn't really know what was going on the first time I read this promo.

Yet again, more detail would've been nice. People would turn in to watch Styles and Bryan wrestle, give them a bit more. I'm not saying you have to write 10 paragraphs for each TV match. That'd be excessive. But 2 or 3 paragraphs following the match in a more chronological order would be beneficial for you, though. It'd help improve your match writing and let you get more preparation for PPV matches.

It's nice to see you give your other show some hype, but don't you think you have enough titles? I see that's now 7 titles, and frankly you'd be much better off cutting out 3 of those titles. Not everything and everyone needs a title. Think of it as less is more. Not everything needs a title around it and tbh often the best feuds are without titles.

You have a very crucial error in your match between RVD and Ray. Read this over:

Brother Devon accidently distracted RVD allowing him to hit a five star frog splash.
Winner = RVD (11:25)

Uh, what? I figured out that Devon distracted RAY but you really should be more careful in things like this. Just sloppy writing. Not only that, but it would've been nice to see Ray react someway to Devons actions after the match. Was he angry? Was he disappointed? Did Devon try to apologize to him, or was his 'accident' a message? Something.

Jumping right to the main event after that match is a bit, uh, rough. Give the crowd time to rest a moment or two and build up your PPV or talk some filler or give your Tag-Team Champions some airtime (since they don't even find a way on the show). Onto the match, a match between Cena and Kurt Angle is very PPV worthy, and 28 minutes is main event worthy for sure, but possibly too much. This is a TV show, and you rarely see 28 minute matches, and those are saved for title matches more often than not. Also, how long is this show? 3 hours? You've had 5 matches total about an hour, a few promos to take up some time, and add in the commercial breaks (which you didn't, but they're there) that totals to well over 2 hours. Would be nice for some clarity on this.

Overall: I must say, it was pretty rough. It seemed very rushed and lacked in some important details. There was consistent spelling/grammar errors (I counted about 5 or 6 in the first promo alone) and the lack of detail bothered me. There looks to be a lot of work still to be done, not only in presentation, but in the detail you give the show. The show also was heavily focused on 1 thing - the world title. While that isn't bad and gives it some credibility, considering you have 7 championships to accoutn for plus any non-title feuds, it looks a bit poor. Like I said you should unify/retire about 3 or 4 of them and give yourself a bit more leeway so you don't have to give all of your attention to the titles. As for match writing, you need more detail. Simple as. When 4 of the 5 matches last more than 10 minutes, I expect more than 2-3 lines on them. If you wanna PM me I'll give you some links to help you on the match writing, since I don't think it'll be allowed right here. Again, I'm not here to hate on you, but there is a lot of work that needs to be done. I'd suggest you not touch your show for a week and just read others work and try to take tips from them. Don't think about writing, but read read and read some more. I know you want to have a good thread and you certainly have the ambition to do so, but you've got a long road ahead of you if you want to improve and become one of the better BTers. 2.5/10, if I'm throwing a rating on it.

 

[Mr. Book This Section]

Choxy Reply​

I've only recently come back and have taken a look around the BT section, but I see that you're quite ambitious about your project and I'm here to give you a review and try to help you out some. Just note that if my criticism seems harsh it's because I'm only trying to help you. I'm not going to slight you for any reason and everything I comment on will be directly related to your show. I have no agenda against you, to put it short. Now, onto the review.
Firstly, Welcome back!

Not that it's necessary, but maybe you should ask someone that does banners to make you a Velocity banner. It obviously doesn't effect the quality of the show one bit, but it adds some to the presentation and makes your stuff look a bit nicer. Just one with 2 or 3 of your biggest stars would be enough, imo.
Yeah ok. I'll try and get one done.

Considering that you're just coming off a PPV it would've been nice to see more banter between Tazz and Styles to kick off the show. Recap all the big moments from the day before and give us a small preview of what's in store for tonight. If Tazz says 'What a night we have tonight!' don't you think it would make sense for Styles to play off that and talk about some of the things that are planned for the night? Many people do a poor job of using the commentary as tools (myself included) but these guys should be used as another way to hype the show and make the events that will happen in the future a big deal. Nobody's going to care about/understand why Mr. McMahon is out there if Joey and Tazz don't give a backstory as to what happened a day/week ago.
Ok... but I thought that anyone who has read the show would know all about it but I'll try and stick some of that in Excess.

Like I said above, it'd be nice to inform the audience what Vince did to DX the night before. As a first time reader, I'm lost because there was no sort of mention by anyone to what happened at the PPV. As for the opening promo, it's nice that you already have a few matches signed for the next PPV to give them some hype, but this confrontation between McMahon and Falkon really should've been in much more detail. You should've built up to Vince being told he was fired instead of announcing it right away. Not only that, but some non-speaking actions in between each guy talking could've added to the promo. Tell everyone that Vince's eyes open in shock when he's announced he's fired, or that he's on his knees begging Falkon to give him another chance, etc. Stuff like that can really add to the promo because it shows that it's a big deal to Vince that he's fired and that it's come out of nowhere. Decent booking, but the execution should've been much better.
Yeah. The discussion thread actually told me what you just did. Detail is key. I'll remember that for Excess.

You say the match was mostly dominated by CM Punk, but it lasts 10 minutes? You don't ever see squash matches last that long, and frankly if it was an Elimination Chamber qualifer for the world title I don't think Kofi would've jobbed to Punk so easily. I'd imagine it would've been a back and forth contest between the two since they're both quite respected and it did go long enough. It would've been nice to see some much more detail in the match, though. 2 lines isn't enough for a match that really has potential to be MOTN. I'll address your match writing more later on in this review.
I'll tell you. I'm crap at match writing. I said CM Punk "mostly dominated" the match. Not squashed Kofi Kingston for 10 minutes. Kofi Kingston got a bit of time in.

Again with the problems in commentary. You said it was very Punk dominated in the description, yet Styles himself says he thought Kofi gave an impressive effort. See how one little writing mistake throws everything out of whack? Be more observant of how you write these matches. You can't have it both ways.
Punk dominated, not squashed Kingston.

To be honest, since Orton was your RR winner, he should've either opened or closed the show. Those are the two biggest moments in a wrestling show, and you throw your potential star into a filler promo during the middle of the show. Not only that, but the whole promo was weird. Again, it would've been nice to see more non-speaking actions before Randy comes down. Have him come onto the turnbuckle and do his signature pose, have him come down with a shit eating grin since he's the RR winner. Something. You also should've allowed Randy to talk about his RR win more. Build himself up how he lasted through 39 others and proved his worth as a wrestler. Something. Too boring and generic and didn't even sound like a promo you'd see in the ring. Then why does Jericho come out during Orton's promo? Did Orton screw him out in the RR? Did he cost Jericho a title shot? Did Orton fuck Jericho's mother? What was the meaning of Jericho jumping Orton? What was his purpose? Jericho says a whole 7 words during this promo, not nearly enough. Don't you think it'd make sense to explain why Jericho attacked him, or at least wait a week and don't announce the match today. Then you make Orton put his shot on the line because Jericho attacked him? Why is Orton being punished by taking this huge risk? That's ass backwards. Either Orton should've attacked Jericho, or Jericho should've been the one putting something on the line. Jericho has nothing to lose and Orton has everything to lose. Why would Randy accept a match like this? He comes off as an absolute moron and it only took him 3 speaking lines to do so. Absolutely awful, both booking and writing. Sorry, but there's just no sense in this promo.
These two have been at it for months. Chris Jericho and Randy Orton had been brawling for 3 months. In the Rumble Match, Randy last eliminated Chris. Randy accepted the match because he is big headed and confident. It's not Orton being punished. It's James Falkon being creative.

At least this match that's described a squash fits the bill more. Squashes shouldn't be more than 3 minutes and you had it just under there, so well done. Don't know why you're having a squash in a match that lets the winner compete for the world title, though. Should've gave Crimson more of a fight or put someone else in it. It just makes your World Title scene look a little depleated that a guy can qualify for the world title by winning a 3 minute match. Could've been executed much better than it was.
James Falkon's first night wanted to give a few of the younger talents a chance. That's Crimson but I also want Edge looking strong because he just returned.

I guess it's nice to know that RVD is a face and will fight all comers, but it would've been beneficial to know that he is the Television champion before Falkon announced it. At first I thought Falkon was simply giving him the title and telling him go defend it. This makes a little more sense now, but again, non-speaking actions NEED to be given more detail. I'm not lying when I say I didn't really know what was going on the first time I read this promo.
So you think I should have started with James Falkon saying something like "Seeing as your the TV Champion, I want you to defend it every week?"

Yet again, more detail would've been nice. People would turn in to watch Styles and Bryan wrestle, give them a bit more. I'm not saying you have to write 10 paragraphs for each TV match. That'd be excessive. But 2 or 3 paragraphs following the match in a more chronological order would be beneficial for you, though. It'd help improve your match writing and let you get more preparation for PPV matches.
Already Addressed Match writing.

It's nice to see you give your other show some hype, but don't you think you have enough titles? I see that's now 7 titles, and frankly you'd be much better off cutting out 3 of those titles. Not everything and everyone needs a title. Think of it as less is more. Not everything needs a title around it and tbh often the best feuds are without titles.
I'm not going to answer this as if I do, it will be a spoiler.

You have a very crucial error in your match between RVD and Ray. Read this over:

Quote:
Brother Devon accidently distracted RVD allowing him to hit a five star frog splash.
Winner = RVD (11:25)

Uh, what? I figured out that Devon distracted RAY but you really should be more careful in things like this. Just sloppy writing. Not only that, but it would've been nice to see Ray react someway to Devons actions after the match. Was he angry? Was he disappointed? Did Devon try to apologize to him, or was his 'accident' a message? Something.
Thanks for the advice

Jumping right to the main event after that match is a bit, uh, rough. Give the crowd time to rest a moment or two and build up your PPV or talk some filler or give your Tag-Team Champions some airtime (since they don't even find a way on the show). Onto the match, a match between Cena and Kurt Angle is very PPV worthy, and 28 minutes is main event worthy for sure, but possibly too much. This is a TV show, and you rarely see 28 minute matches, and those are saved for title matches more often than not. Also, how long is this show? 3 hours? You've had 5 matches total about an hour, a few promos to take up some time, and add in the commercial breaks (which you didn't, but they're there) that totals to well over 2 hours. Would be nice for some clarity on this.
1. The tag team champions were on the show.
2. I just wanted a special TV Match
3. Commercial free show

Overall: I must say, it was pretty rough. It seemed very rushed and lacked in some important details. There was consistent spelling/grammar errors (I counted about 5 or 6 in the first promo alone) and the lack of detail bothered me. There looks to be a lot of work still to be done, not only in presentation, but in the detail you give the show. The show also was heavily focused on 1 thing - the world title. While that isn't bad and gives it some credibility, considering you have 7 championships to accoutn for plus any non-title feuds, it looks a bit poor. Like I said you should unify/retire about 3 or 4 of them and give yourself a bit more leeway so you don't have to give all of your attention to the titles. As for match writing, you need more detail. Simple as. When 4 of the 5 matches last more than 10 minutes, I expect more than 2-3 lines on them. If you wanna PM me I'll give you some links to help you on the match writing, since I don't think it'll be allowed right here. Again, I'm not here to hate on you, but there is a lot of work that needs to be done. I'd suggest you not touch your show for a week and just read others work and try to take tips from them. Don't think about writing, but read read and read some more. I know you want to have a good thread and you certainly have the ambition to do so, but you've got a long road ahead of you if you want to improve and become one of the better BTers. 2.5/10, if I'm throwing a rating on it.

 

[Megatron]

Choxy Reply​

Ok... but I thought that anyone who has read the show would know all about it but I'll try and stick some of that in Excess.

Don't ever assume anything. Treat every show thinking that this is the first time people have seen it. Why do you think the WWE always has replays of what happened minutes/days ago or have title match promos? It's to help inform new viewers of whats going on and it's to try and get them into the storylines quicker. Showing us a replay as to why Vince is being punished would help alot.

I'll tell you. I'm crap at match writing. I said CM Punk "mostly dominated" the match. Not squashed Kofi Kingston for 10 minutes. Kofi Kingston got a bit of time in.

Punk dominated, not squashed Kingston.

Well I was going off on how you wrote it and it seemed that Punk dominated a majority of the match, and if that was the case it wouldn't have lasted for 10 minutes. I do believe you meant to have it a bit more competitive, but your writing inside of the match contradicted it some. As for the match writing, like I said, PM me and I'll give you some things to look at.

These two have been at it for months. Chris Jericho and Randy Orton had been brawling for 3 months. In the Rumble Match, Randy last eliminated Chris. Randy accepted the match because he is big headed and confident. It's not Orton being punished. It's James Falkon being creative.

See, this would've been some good stuff to include in your show. As a first time reader I had no idea that Jericho and Orton have been feuding for a while. As far as I knew Jericho was just attacking him for no reason. Help your readers out. And I still see Orton as being a dumbass for accepting that match without Jericho putting anything on the line. What does Randy gain from it? If he hates Jericho fine, but at least give him something to work with. If he's putting his title on the line, let him pick the match stipulation or guest referee or force Jericho to put something on. Jericho makes out like a bandit and has nothing to lose, really.

James Falkon's first night wanted to give a few of the younger talents a chance. That's Crimson but I also want Edge looking strong because he just returned.

I had no idea it was his first night. That should've been a running theme throughout the show. You could've had him bring it up when he was talking to Vince/MCMG, you could've had the commentators bring it up and make it a big deal. Instead, it was passed onto the side as if it was just another day. You have to make big events like that special, man.

So you think I should have started with James Falkon saying something like "Seeing as your the TV Champion, I want you to defend it every week?"

Frankly I would've used some italics before hand and said something like 'RVD, the Television Champion, enters General Manager Falkons room with his TV title wrapped around his shoulder and is dressed ready to compete tonight.' Something of that ilk just adds the fine tuning to the show that's needed.

1. The tag team champions were on the show.
2. I just wanted a special TV Match
3. Commercial free show

1. I thought Beer Money was your champion but apparently they're on the other show. My mistake. However, one little blurb from them likely isn't enough.
2. Fair enough, but there wasn't any buildup to it at all throughout the show and it wasn't made to be anything other than a qualifying match. What makes that match any more special than the 4 before it? That's what the ME is supposed to be - special, important, etc.
3. Another thing that should've been said by Styles/Tazz. I had no idea that occurred throughout the show and just thought you forgot to put commercials in.

Don't read too much into the rating. I'd rather not put one on, but I thought it would help you at least a little bit to understand where I felt the shows quality was. Just think, if you take some of the advice given to you and slow down a bit, your show should improve in no time. Think of it as a positive, not a negative.

 

[Mr. Book This Section]

Ok. I'll take all that into mind. But can I just say, all my shows are advert free so it wasn't something for the commentators to mention. Also, I'll contact Tazz and Joey Styles. There in trouble.

 

[Mr. Book This Section]

Michael Cole
Hello and welcome to Wednesday Night Velocity! For the first time ever. I am Michael Cole and I'm joined here by commentator, Joey Styles!

Joey Styles
Hello Michael Cole! What a night we have for you tonight and were going to start it off with a 14 man new comer battle royal! Lets meet the new wrestlers!

*The X Division theme song echo's throughout the arena and out comes Eric Young. He is followed by Max Buck, Jeremy Buck, Paul London, Sonjay Dutt, Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore, Brian Kendrick, Evan Bourne, Sin Cara, Petey Williams, Consquences Creed, Shark Boy and Kiyoshi

Match 1 - 14 Man New Comer Battle Royal for the Cruiserweight Championship
= The bell rings and all the wrestlers fight. Eric Young focuses on Kiyoshi, Sin Cara focuses on Shark Boy and the others just carry on fighting. Max and Jeremy Buck start facing off with Brian Kendrick and Evan Bourne. Quickly, Max Buck gets eliminated.
- Max Buck has been eliminated -
Jeremy Buck then starts hammering away at Shannon Moore the man who eliminated him. Evan Bourne and Shark Boy are now teaming up against Kiyoshi and Brian Kendrick. Evan Bourne is facing Kiyoshi and Brian Kendrick is facing Shark Boy. Suddenly the camera looks at Eric Young who hits a piledriver straight to Jimmy Wang Yang before eliminating him.
- Jimmy Wang Yang has been eliminated -
The men in masks, Sin Cara and Shark Boy seem to be teaming up with Evan Bourne as they all team up to take out wrestlers like Jeremy Buck. Quickly all three men throw Jeremy over the top rope and out to the floor.
- Jeremy Buck has been eliminated -
Evan Bourne then hits the suicide dive on Jimmy going through the middle rope so he isn't eliminated. When Evan Bourne gets into the ring, Shannon Moore clotheslines him over but Evan lands on the apron. Brian Kendrick then hits a standing drop kick on Shannon Moore knocking Shannon Moore over the top rope and he also takes out Evan Bourne.
- Shannon Moore has been eliminated -
- Evan Bourne has been eliminated -
Sin Cara, Eric Young, Paul London and Shark Boy are all fighting in the corner. Suddenly... Petey William dives on all of them taking out all four men. Sonjay Dutt and Consequences creed start fighting and Kiyoshi starts fighting with Brian Kendrick when suddenly, an elimination is made.
- Consequences Creed has been eliminated -
Were down to eight men. Sonjay Dutt, Brian Kendrick, Kiyoshi, Sin Cara, Eric Young, Paul London, Shark Boy and Petey Williams. All men then stand up and look at each other. Suddenly, Paul London goes for Brian Kendrick, Kiyoshi goes for Sonjay Dutt, Eric Young goes for Petey Williams and Sin Cara goes for Shark Boy. Sonjay Dutt has Kiyoshi up on the ropes and he eliminates him.
- Kiyoshi has been eliminated -
Sonjay Dutt then goes flying over the top rope when Shark Boy hits him with a Shark Boy stunner.
- Sonjay Dutt has been eliminated -
The final six men then look at each other. They are Brian Kendrick, Eric Young, Sin Cara, Paul London, Sharkboy and Petey Williams. Brian Kendrick goes for Paul London once again and the pair continue there brawl. Sin Cara and Shark Boy team up and take down Petey Williams. Shark Boy trys his look going after Eric Young after but gets caught with a piledriver and thrown over the top rope.
- Shark boy has been eliminated -
Petey Williams then turns his attention to Sin Cara while Eric Young, Paul London and Brian Kendrick have there own war in the corner. All of a sudden James Falkon comes walking down to the ring with the cruiserweight Championship in hand. This distracts Paul London and Brian Kendrick. Eric Young then eliminates them both!
- Brian Kendrick has been eliminated -
- Paul London has been eliminated -
Eric Young and Petey Williams then start facing each other and Sin Cara is down on the mat. Petey Williams trys to go for the Around the world but Eric Young counters. Eric trys to go for a piledriver but Petey Williams counters managing to hit a hurricanrana which happens to send Eric Young crashing down to the mat and taking down Sin Cara on the way. Petey Williams then starts fighting by the ropes with Sin Cara. When Eric Young gets up, he hits a big drop kick sending both of them over.
- Petey Williams has been eliminated -
- Sin Cara has been eliminated -
Winner = And New Cruiserweight Champion, Eric Young.

After the match, Chairman, James Falkon walks into the ring and awards Eric Young with the championship belt..

James Falkon
Congratulations Eric! But, that's not what I want to speak to everyone here about. Next week, there will be a Tag Team Turmoil! All you have to do is come to my office before tuesday with a tag team parnar and you are in the match! Also next week, Eric Young will defend his newley won Cruiserweight Championship against the winner of the following match!

Michael Cole
What an announcement!

*Aint no stopping me blares throughout the arena and the gold standered Shelton Benjamin comes to the ring.

*S.O.S becons through the millions in the crowd. Out comes the Jamican Sensation, Kofi Kingston!

*Raging of the region soon is the next to play and then Austin Aires comes to the ring!

*The rising echo's in the arena and the crowd get pumped up to see The Daredevil, Justin Gabriel comes to the ring.

*Aint no make believe comes into to the arena and John Morrison comes to the ring and gets the biggest cheer.

*Fighter's Passion zooms into the arena and the Warrior, Kaval, makes his way to the wrestling ring!

6 Pack Challenge for #1 contendership to the Cruiserweight Championship
= The bell rings and before each of the men can look at each other, Austin Aires and Justin Gabriel just floor it brawling. All the other men just look at the brawl going on. Austin Aires then gets thrown to the outside and John Morrison jumps over the top rope and takes out Austin Aires on the outside. Justin Gabriel follows but with none of the wrestlers realising, Shelton Benjamin gets a roll up on Kofi Kingston.
1...
2...
Kofi Kingston Kicks out
Kofi Kingston then hits the trouble in Paridice on Shelton Benjamin but Shelton rolls out of the ring meaning Kofi Kingston cannot pin. All the other wrestlers are fighting outside of the ring. Austin Aires, John Morrison, Justin Gabriel and Kaval are all fighting but suddenly, Kofi Kingston leaps over the top rope and takes every one out. He rolls Austin Aires into the ring and pins.
1...
2...
No! Shelton Benjamin breaks it up!
Suddenly, Kofi Kingston hits Shelton Benjamin with the trouble in paradice. John Morrison slides into the ring and throws Kofi Kingston out. He then hits the Starship pain and Kofi Kingston slides back in the ring and throws John Morrison on top of all the wrestlers on the outside and pins.
1...
2...
Winner = Kofi Kingston

Michael Cole
Wow! Kofi Kingston v. Eric Young for the Cruiserweight Championship next week and a tag team turmoil!

Joey Styles
Next week is going to be huge!

Michael Cole
It Certainly is Joey! Also Smackdown, in just too days will see the return of JBL as my commentating partner, As far as I'm conserned, Screw Lawler!

Joey Styles
Remember Michael, Jerry will be live on satalite on friday!

Michael Cole
Yeah. And he better not be rude other wise, I'll kill him.

Joey Styles
Well, it's time for our main event! Fatal Four Way for the X Division title.

*Motorcity blares into the PA System and out comes Alex Shelly and Chris Sabin!

*Red Remix is screamed out across the arena and Amazing Red comes to the ring

*Push it then plays and Jay Lethal comes to the ring

Match 3 - Amazing Red v. Chris Sabin v. Alex Shelly v. Jay Lethal for the X Division Championship in a fatal four way
= The bell rings and the guns attack Jay Lethal first with a double kick to the head. They then take down the little man of Amazing Red with kicks and Chris Sabin pins.
1...
Amazing Red Kicks out
Suddenly, Alex Shelly highers the ropes and Chris Sabin jumps through with a suicide dive. They then take out Jay Lethal with the move. With all three men on the outside, Amazing Red dives over the top rope and takes out all men. Amazing Red manages to roll Jay Lethal into the ring and pins.
1...
2...
No! Alex Shelly makes the save
Chris Sabin is still outside of the ring as Alex Shelly hits Amazing Red with a kick. He hangs him from the ropes and hits the hesitation drop kick. Alex looks like his about to pin but Jay Lethal drop kicks him straight out of the ring and then knocks Amazing Red down. Jay Lethal then goes straight to the top rope and hits the elbow drop on Amazing Red and pins.
1...
2...
No! Chris Sabin breaks it up
Chris Sabin then throws Jay Lethal off of Amazing Red but then, Chris Sabin pins Amazing Red following Jay Lethal's move.
1...
2...
Jay Lethal breaks it up!
Suddenly, Chris Sabin and Jay Lethal get into a fight. Amazing Red throws Alex Shelly into both men and they both fall out the ring. Amazing Red then hits the code red on Alex Shelly and pins.
1...
2...
3...
Winner = And Still X Division champion, Amazing Red

Michael Cole
What a night! Remember to join us live for Excess in two days. What a night!

*Show ends​

---------------------------------
Quick Results:

- Eric Young becomes the new Cruiserweight Championship in a 14 man battle royal

- Kofi Kingston becomes the new #1 contender to the Cruiserweight Championship

- Amazing Red retains the X Division championship
---------------------------------

Writers Note - This show was short because it is only 1 hour.

 

[Mr. Book This Section]

Dixie Carter announced that there will be 3 elimination chamber qualifyers. 1 singles matches to determend 1 participant, a triple threat match to determend 1 particpant , a tag team match were both tag team wrestlers will be added to make 3 and 4th spots, The Miz will get his rematch clause as entrant five and Wade Barrett, the new world heavyweight champion will be the 6th wrestler.

Abyss v. Samoa Joe last week on Excess ended with Samoa Joe beating Abyss following a masked man interfearing. Abyss will call out that man as he wants a piece of him.

Samoa Joe will defend his hardcore championship under the 24/7 rule. He will be fighting Mark Henry.

--------------------------------
List of matches confirmed
-----------
Samoa Joe v. Mark Henry
Hardcore Match
Hardcore Championship

Sheamus v. Austin Aires
Singles Match
Elimination Chamber Qualifyer

Christian v. Dolph Ziggler v. Alberto Del Rio
Triple Threat Match
Elimination Chamber Qualifyer

James Storm and Bobby Roode v. Mr Anderson and John Morrison
Tag Team Match
Elimination Chamber Qualifyer​

 

[Megatron]

Megatron's X-Division Review:

I'm back again here to see how much advice you've taken given by me and others. I hope for your sake you do because as I said you definitely have some potential.

Before I begin, I'm not a big fan of the X-Division as a show name. A show that centers on a certain division I wouldn't say is a good idea in the first place, either. That normally says that you have too many titles and you're just trying to fill guys on the show. Plus it's extra work that takes some of your focus off of the two main shows that should be getting the attention. Nevertheless, let's get down to the content.

Again the commentary was short and very unpleasing to read. Cole and Styles really should've spent more time hyping up the debut of the show since it's kinda a big deal. Have them give some mention to the main event, have them give a mention to Falkon being a genius and developing a show that centers on some of the best athletes in the world. Have them kiss some ass and promote the show. I don't want to give an exact amount of lines, but it definitely needed more content. Also, why have to play by play guys on the same show? I know Styles is probably capable of giving some color commentary but he's much more suited for the play by play role and one of those announcer spots should be filled by an ex-wrestler/non play by play type.

It would've been nice to have one of the announcers mention that this match was for the Cruiserweight Championship (CW Championship on X-Division show?) instead of it just stating it in the top of your quote. And, while not needed, having a ring announcer make the announcement that this was for the Cruiserweight Championship would've added a nice touch and somewhat legitimatized the title a bit more. Gave it some credibility, to put it better. Not saying you need a ring announcer for every match, but I do think they would be very useful in championship/main event matches.

While there was much more detail to this match than previous matches (which is good to see), this match was all over the place and had parts where it either needed more description or just didn't make sense. Let's start with the first elimination:

Quickly, Max Buck gets eliminated.

Who eliminated him, and how? You got better with this as the match went on by saying they went out via a dropkick, stunner, etc. but this needed to at least be told as to how he was eliminated. Next up:

Jeremy Buck then starts hammering away at Shannon Moore the man who eliminated him.

Since when was Jeremy Buck eliminated? This is simply either poor English usage or you wrote the wrong name in. I'm going to assume the former. The end should've read 'the man who eliminated his brother Max' in order to make sense. That's why it's important to proofread your matches so you don't make silly mistakes like that.

For a while it was your traditional battle royal, which isn't a problem to me because imo any more than 4-6 guys it can get a clusterfuck in there and you just have to work some eliminations out and weed the field. It's one of the flaws of battle royals in BT's for sure. You just can't cover all the action at once. Not a knock on you, just a general statement.

Falkon coming down to the ring was very weird part of the match and didn't seem necessary. Either he should've came down before the match and sat ringside with the championship or he should've came out after the match to present it. Not inbetween where it disrupts the match flow. I like you having him out there to present the title, though, as it does give some credibility that's needed for the title since it could get lost in the shuffle quickly. Small format issue, I wouldn't have all of the speaking roles the same color. The commentators should be one and the in ring speaking should really be one or two other colors. Something easy on the eyes as well like red/blue/brown could work.

What's the purpose of the tag-team turmoil match? For funsies? Details, man! Details!

I HATE that you have a #1 contenders match not more than 5 minutes after you just had a match for that said title. How can I get emotionally involved in this match when none of these 6 guys were even good enough to make it into a 14 man battle royal for the title? A very poor decision to throw this match out there right off the back of your previous match. If you wanted a title rematch for next week you could've done something much easier like had Williams/Cara challenge Young for the title since Young eliminated them when they were busy fighting each other. At least THAT makes some sense.

You're getting better in including some non-speaking actions, which is good, but some commentary between Styles and Cole could've been used as an asset here. Possibly to explain why Falkon would throw a #1 contenders match so quickly after having a title match. Possibly to build up these competitors. Something.

Like I said you were doing better with including some detail, but some things - Kaval wasn't needed in this match. Was only mentioned once in the match. No need to include names just to get them involved. It would've been nice to know if Aries and Gabriel had a past history or something since normally brawls before matches start don't happen for no reason. Shrewd win by Kofi. While I don't believe he is a heel it was sort of a dirty tactic that you don't see from a guy like him. Would've been just as easy to have him hit the TIP on Morrison and cover him instead of throwing him out of the ring.

The reason I don't like the CW championship match next week is because there's no heat to this match. Other than Young having the title, there's no emotional attachment to this match. Would've defintely gone a different way with this.

Nice to finally see some banter between the commentators, but Coles 'I'll kill him' comment really came out of nowhere. Styles could've at least played it off with a nervous/uncomfortable laugh.

Yet again, no build to the match, and it's multi man. I know you have a lot of talent to work with, but give me a singles match that has a story behind it over a multi man thrown together match any day of the week. Not only that, but there wasn't any build throughout the show. Not even a passing mention by the two commentators. How does Red get involved in another title match after just being involved in the EC qualifier against Edge on the show before? You don't need to have him jump around divisions with all the talent at your disposal. Not that you can't push a guy, but moving from Heavyweight the X-Division title in one show seems too poorly built/explained. Some solid detail that actually got all the guys involved, though.

Overall, while the presentation/match writing has improved from one show to the next, there's still a lot of work to do. I like that you're taking some advice given, but it's incredibly important that you proofread your matches/segments so you don't have silly mistakes like I listed above. Also, where were the promos? Only Falkon talked out of non-commentators, and that was for 1 line! Promos are the best way to build up characters, man. Not only does it give them some individual TV time, but they can be used to build/develop feuds. Frankly, TVs should be more promo heavy and PPVs should be match heavy. Your matches take up too much of the show and that's a problem because there was no reason for me to care about any of the 3 matches you had. With all the wrestlers you got, surely a few of them should be able to have a backstage interview or even a segment outside in the ring. Like I said it's clear you've taken some of my/others advice, but you still have a long way to go. The show didn't flow well at all and you didn't have any feuds really develop. As always, take the rating with a grain of salt. 2.8/10 Slightly better, but definitely has work to do.

P.S - Understand the difference between there/their/they're and your/you're. Very frustrating when simple rules like those continuously are broken.

 

[Mr. Book This Section]

Choxy Reply​

I'm back again here to see how much advice you've taken given by me and others. I hope for your sake you do because as I said you definitely have some potential.
Firstly, I started writing X Division before you gave me your first review.

Before I begin, I'm not a big fan of the X-Division as a show name. A show that centers on a certain division I wouldn't say is a good idea in the first place, either. That normally says that you have too many titles and you're just trying to fill guys on the show. Plus it's extra work that takes some of your focus off of the two main shows that should be getting the attention. Nevertheless, let's get down to the content.
Erm, What?

Again the commentary was short and very unpleasing to read. Cole and Styles really should've spent more time hyping up the debut of the show since it's kinda a big deal. Have them give some mention to the main event, have them give a mention to Falkon being a genius and developing a show that centers on some of the best athletes in the world. Have them kiss some ass and promote the show. I don't want to give an exact amount of lines, but it definitely needed more content. Also, why have to play by play guys on the same show? I know Styles is probably capable of giving some color commentary but he's much more suited for the play by play role and one of those announcer spots should be filled by an ex-wrestler/non play by play type.
My show isn't really into kissing asses. Manley Michael Cole who I'm trying to look tough.

It would've been nice to have one of the announcers mention that this match was for the Cruiserweight Championship (CW Championship on X-Division show?) instead of it just stating it in the top of your quote. And, while not needed, having a ring announcer make the announcement that this was for the Cruiserweight Championship would've added a nice touch and somewhat legitimatized the title a bit more. Gave it some credibility, to put it better. Not saying you need a ring announcer for every match, but I do think they would be very useful in championship/main event matches.
It would look weird if I had a ring announcer for only some matches.

While there was much more detail to this match than previous matches (which is good to see), this match was all over the place and had parts where it either needed more description or just didn't make sense. Let's start with the first elimination:
You asked for detail, I gave you detail.

Quote:
Quickly, Max Buck gets eliminated.

Who eliminated him, and how? You got better with this as the match went on by saying they went out via a dropkick, stunner, etc. but this needed to at least be told as to how he was eliminated. Next up:

Quote:
Jeremy Buck then starts hammering away at Shannon Moore the man who eliminated him.

Since when was Jeremy Buck eliminated? This is simply either poor English usage or you wrote the wrong name in. I'm going to assume the former. The end should've read 'the man who eliminated his brother Max' in order to make sense. That's why it's important to proofread your matches so you don't make silly mistakes like that.
By "Him" I ment Max Buck.

For a while it was your traditional battle royal, which isn't a problem to me because imo any more than 4-6 guys it can get a clusterfuck in there and you just have to work some eliminations out and weed the field. It's one of the flaws of battle royals in BT's for sure. You just can't cover all the action at once. Not a knock on you, just a general statement.
That a good or bad thing?

Falkon coming down to the ring was very weird part of the match and didn't seem necessary. Either he should've came down before the match and sat ringside with the championship or he should've came out after the match to present it. Not inbetween where it disrupts the match flow. I like you having him out there to present the title, though, as it does give some credibility that's needed for the title since it could get lost in the shuffle quickly. Small format issue, I wouldn't have all of the speaking roles the same color. The commentators should be one and the in ring speaking should really be one or two other colors. Something easy on the eyes as well like red/blue/brown could work.
Your reading too much into Falkon coming. He just came down to the ring because he was late... it wasn't a highlight.

What's the purpose of the tag-team turmoil match? For funsies? Details, man! Details!
Just a filler match for next week.

I HATE (Bit Mean!) that you have a #1 contenders match not more than 5 minutes after you just had a match for that said title. How can I get emotionally involved in this match when none of these 6 guys were even good enough to make it into a 14 man battle royal for the title? A very poor decision to throw this match out there right off the back of your previous match. If you wanted a title rematch for next week you could've done something much easier like had Williams/Cara challenge Young for the title since Young eliminated them when they were busy fighting each other. At least THAT makes some sense.
You say when they were not good enough to get into a 14 man battle royal but it was actually a 14 man newcomer battle royal for the new wrestlers to the show. 14 men debuted to make the X Division bigger.

You're getting better in including some non-speaking actions, which is good, but some commentary between Styles and Cole could've been used as an asset here. Possibly to explain why Falkon would throw a #1 contenders match so quickly after having a title match. Possibly to build up these competitors. Something.
The matches were already confirmed for on UWF.com

Like I said you were doing better with including some detail, but some things - Kaval wasn't needed in this match. Was only mentioned once in the match. No need to include names just to get them involved. It would've been nice to know if Aries and Gabriel had a past history or something since normally brawls before matches start don't happen for no reason. Shrewd win by Kofi. While I don't believe he is a heel it was sort of a dirty tactic that you don't see from a guy like him. Would've been just as easy to have him hit the TIP on Morrison and cover him instead of throwing him out of the ring.
How do you know I'm not planning a heel turn for Kofi Also you spelled Screwed wrong.

The reason I don't like the CW championship match next week is because there's no heat to this match. Other than Young having the title, there's no emotional attachment to this match. Would've defintely gone a different way with this.
Not every match has to have "Emotional attatchment"

Nice to finally see some banter between the commentators, but Coles 'I'll kill him' comment really came out of nowhere. Styles could've at least played it off with a nervous/uncomfortable laugh.
Well, Joey Styles just sat there to scared to laugh.

Yet again, no build to the match, and it's multi man. I know you have a lot of talent to work with, but give me a singles match that has a story behind it over a multi man thrown together match any day of the week. Not only that, but there wasn't any build throughout the show. Not even a passing mention by the two commentators. How does Red get involved in another title match after just being involved in the EC qualifier against Edge on the show before? You don't need to have him jump around divisions with all the talent at your disposal. Not that you can't push a guy, but moving from Heavyweight the X-Division title in one show seems too poorly built/explained. Some solid detail that actually got all the guys involved, though.
Go back and look at Velocity. It was Edge v. Crimson. Not Edge v. Amazing Red. Amazing Red isn't even signed to Velocity.

Overall, while the presentation/match writing has improved from one show to the next, there's still a lot of work to do. I like that you're taking some advice given, but it's incredibly important that you proofread your matches/segments so you don't have silly mistakes like I listed above. Also, where were the promos? Only Falkon talked out of non-commentators, and that was for 1 line! Promos are the best way to build up characters, man. Not only does it give them some individual TV time, but they can be used to build/develop feuds. Frankly, TVs should be more promo heavy and PPVs should be match heavy. Your matches take up too much of the show and that's a problem because there was no reason for me to care about any of the 3 matches you had. With all the wrestlers you got, surely a few of them should be able to have a backstage interview or even a segment outside in the ring. Like I said it's clear you've taken some of my/others advice, but you still have a long way to go. The show didn't flow well at all and you didn't have any feuds really develop. As always, take the rating with a grain of salt. 2.8/10 Slightly better, but definitely has work to do.
Remember, the show was only one hour long and it was sort of like Superstars show for WWE. There isn't many segments on Superstars. Just matches.

P.S - Understand the difference between there/their/they're and your/you're. Very frustrating when simple rules like those continuously are broken.

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P.S - For Excess I'm going to try something "new" to try and get rid of the little "commentary and detail" issues

 

[Mr. Book This Section]

 

[Mr. Book This Section]

Match 2 - James Storm and Bobby Roode v. Mr Anderson and John Morrison in a tag team tornado elimination chamber qualifyer.
= Mr Anderson and John Morrison come to the ring first and both get loud cheers. On the ramp they get brutaly attacked by both members of Beer Money. The beatdown however gets reseved when Mr Anderson hits the mic check on James Storm on the ramp. The commentators note that there are alot of referees and PT's checking on him.
Mr Anderson and John Morrison throw Bobby Roode straight into the ring and the referee rings the bell. Mr Anderson sends a punch flying into Bobby Roode and when he looks around, he falls victom to a massive flying chuck kick and John Morrison pins.
1...
2...
No! Bobby Roode kicks out.
Mr Anderson tells John Morrison to lift him up and Jo Mo lifts Bobby up. Mr Anderson however then hits a massive clothesline that takes him out. Back up on the entrance ramp, were James Storm got mic checked, he is being streatured out of the arena. Bobby Roode is back up and is getting tossed around by both Mr Anderson and John Morrison until Mr Anderson hits the mic check and John Morrison hits the Starship pain.
1...
2...
3...
Winners = Mr Anderson and John Morrison

After the match, the commentators have some serious consern about James Storm and they inform us were going backstage to try and get an update.

*Backstage

Backstage, Matt Striker is found outside of the trainers room. He tells us that James Storm is heavily bleading and it is really clear he wont be able to wrestler for at least a month. Matt tells us he cant go into detail or anything but then Bobby Roode appears. Bobby Roode opens the door and the camera catches the site of James Storm's bloddied face. Bobby Roode goes in the room and shuts the door. Matt Striker is talking to us and suddenly, a referee runs past Matt Striker. Matt and the camera man follow on and when they get to the destination, Samoa Joe is fighting with Mark Henry. Because of the 24/7 match rule, the match starts now.

Match 3 - Samoa Joe v. Mark Henry in a Backstage Brawl for the Hardcore Championship
= The referee rings the bell to make the match official but by the time the match starts Mark Henry hits the WSS on Samoa Joe and pins.
1...
2...
No! Abyss breaks it up
Abyss then enters the fight. He can due to the 24/7 match rule. He hits the black hole slam on Mark Henry and chokeslams Samoa Joe.
1...
2...
No! The Mystery man breaks it up
The man who cost Abyss the hardcore title two weeks ago was back and was once again costing Abyss the title. The masked man then slammed Abyss through a table and Mark Henry jumped ontop of Abyss. Samoa Joe then actually takes out both masked man and Mark Henry with a steel chair before pinning Abyss.
1...
2...
3...
Winner = And still hardcore champion, Samoa Joe

After the match Abyss is shown chasing the Mystery Man who attacked him earlier. Mark Henry however smashed Abyss in the head with a big pipe as Samoa Joe walks off and we go back to ringside.

*Back to the ring

We get shown an advert advertising open fight night which will take place for both the brand of Velocity and Excess brands and all six wrestlers from the Elimination Chamber matches will be in action. The commentators hype up the next match which is a three way for a chamber spot between Christian, Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio.

Match 4 - Christian v. Dolph Ziggler v. Alberto Del Rio in an Elimination Chamber Qualifyer
= Christian is the first to the ring and he recieves a good amout of cheers. Alberto Del Rio comes to the ring and gets a massive amount of heat. The boos nearly explode the roof off the place. Dolph Ziggler also gets some heat too when he comes to the ring,
The bell rings and all men look at each other. As expected both heels of Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio team up to take out Christian. Dolph and Alberto start stomping away at Christian relentlasy. Alberto quickly puts Christian in an arm bar. Dolph Ziggler then realised that Del Rio can win by Submission and breaks it up. Dolph then gets Del Rio in the sleeper but Del Rio reaches the rope.
- Rope Break -
With Christian back up, Christian has a clothesline for Dolph Ziggler and then Alberto Del Rio recieves one. Both men try to double clothesline Christian when they get up but Christian ducks it and drop kicks Dolph Ziggler into Alberto Del Rio and Alberto Del Rio gets sent to the outside. Christian then hits the killswhich on Dolph Ziggler.
1...
2...
No! Alberto slides in and breaks it up.
Alberto Del Rio then goes to work on Christian after throwing Dolph Ziggler out of the ring. Alberto puts Christian in the Arm Bar but Christian gets to the ropes.
- Rope Break -
Christian is holding his arm and Dolph Ziggler slides into the ring. Alberto Del Rio stands up and Dolph Ziggler hits the Zig Zag on Alberto Del Rio.
1...
2...
No! Christian breaks it up
After Christian, he hits a massive spear on Dolph Ziggler.
1...
2...
3...
Winner = Dolph Ziggler

After the match the commentators tell us the updated Elimination Chamber match of Christian v. Sheamus v. The Miz v. Wade Barrett v. Mr Anderson v. John Morrison! They also run down the rest of the match card for Excess, including the match of Austin Aires v. Justin Gabriel. JBL also informs us that two more matches will be added from the X Division show next wednesday!

We then get a reminder video that next week is Open Fight Night were both brands will have one. They explain the rules of all challenges must be answered and they then advertise the next match were you choose your tag team partner.

Match 5 - The Miz and ??? v. Wade Barrett and ???
= The Miz then comes to the ring and he has a microphone in hand. He announces his tag team partner is his brand new secruity guard. Batista! Batista then comes to the ring and gets loads of boos. Wade Barrett also comes to the ring with a microphone and he announces his tag team partner is Abyss! Abyss comes to the ring and there is a mixed reation from the fans.
The bell rings and it looks as if Abyss is going to start things out with Batista. On the entrance ramp is the mystery man that keeps attacking Abyss and Abyss tags Wade Barrett in and runs after the man making it a handicap match. Wade Barrett looks on shouting where are you going to Abyss. Batista doesn't care though and throws Wade into the ring and hits a spine buster on him. Miz asks for the tag and Batista tags in Wade.
The Miz then kicks Wade Barrett straight in the skull. The move appears to daze Wade Barrett and we go split screen. In the split screen, the left side has the action going on in the ring and the other side has Abyss layed out by the masked man. We then go back to the full screen with the match and The Miz tags in Batista.
Batista then picks Wade Barrett up and hits a massive batista bomb on Wade Barrett. He then hits another Batista Bomb. He then picks up Wade Barrett and tags in The Miz. The Miz then comes into the ring and hits a skull crushing finale.
1...
2...
3...
Winners The Miz and Batista

*Show finishes

Quick Results:
- Sheamus def. Austin Aires
- Mr Anderson and John Morrison def. Beer Money
- Samoa Joe def. Mark Henry
- Christian def. Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler
- The Miz and Batista def. Wade Barrett and Abyss​

 

[Mr. Book This Section]

Sunday Febuary 29th 2012 | Milwaukee Wisconsin | Bradley Center

Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon v. Triple H and Shaun Michaels
Tag Team Match
If the McMahons win, Vince McMahon is rehired as Velocity General Manager.

Randy Orton v. Chris Jericho
Singles Match
If Randy Orton loses, Chris Jericho gets the Wrestlemania Title Shot

Jeff Hardy v. CM Punk v. Edge v. RVD v. John Cena v. AJ Styles
Elimination Chamber Match
UWF Championship

Wade Barrett v. The Miz v. Sheamus v. Christian v. Mr Kennedy v. John Morrison
Elimination Chamber Match
UWF World Championship

Austin Aires v. Justin Gabriel
Singles Match

 

[Mr. Book This Section]

Open fight night will be making it's return. All challenges must be answered. All the men from the Elimination Chamber are going to call people out.

Degeneration X are also going to be on the show and there going to open it. The return of Shane McMahon will also take place when he re-unites with Vince.

James Falkon will be making major announcements regarding Titles, Matches, Against All Odds and the X Division show. ​