Undertaker's RIP Angle: Destroy the Urn!!!

[CrunKSinatrA]

Maybe it's just me, but I'm not comfortable with the Undertaker ending his career with a simple retirement match and HOF induction. Mark Callaway, the man, deserves a classy send off to honor his epic career.

But the Undertaker character is a demon that needs to banished from the WWE and sealed away for all eternity. Or he'll never retire and the spirit of the Undertaker will envelop the WWE in darkness for all eternity! Mwahahaha!

The same way the entire heel locker room helped Yokozuna defeat the Undertaker at the 94 Royal Rumble, the entire WWE universe should need to team up to defeat the Undertaker and destroy the urn.

Remember, it's WWE canon that the urn is the source of the Undertaker's power and is the WWE's version of the One Ring.

The idea of a heel Undertaker is impossible b/c of his rare appearances. So he should be a manager a reform a new Ministry of Darkness and have a heel stable at his command.

Taker stays in the public conscience enough to be a heel and will communicate through a series of video packages. No one will see Taker until his next match but everyone will feel his presence by his voice booming through the arena speakers.

This way the Undertaker will be the big bad in the shadows like Thanos in the Avengers in the months leading up to final Wrestlemania. And members of his stable can use the Undertaker's rub.

It would be revealed that mind control is a part of the Undertaker's many powers. And after all these years, we learn that his Druids have always been mind controlled wrestler's backstage.

You can tell who's under the mind control b/c they're wearing the white contacts like Viscera or have occult markings like the Acolytes, Brood, and Mideon.

His stable could be a bunch of luchadores turned evil. With Sin Cara Negro as his star and Los Matadores backing him up for the core group.

With their high flying moves, the luchadores could catch fire and be cool heels like RVD during the WCW/ECW Invasion. The Lucha Ministry or Luchadruids might be a good names.

Remember Sin Cara is still a big merchandise seller. Although face Sin Cara Azul/Myzteziz/Luis Urive was a bust, Sin Cara Negro/Hunico/Jorge Arias has been solid.

Los Matadores translate to The Killers and fit in with the Undertaker's supernatural character just fine. Put the occult symbols symbols on them and we now have Los Acolytes 2015. Damn.

As the Undertaker's soldiers, I don't expect the luchadores to speak much and the the Spanish language barrier won't matter in the US.

They'll just carry the urn and nod menacingly during the Undertaker's messages to the crowd. And even if Sin Cara Negro isn't a credible enough of a threat to the top of the card, he can always use the Undertaker's mind control to bring in a heater to feud with Lesnar, John Cena, or anyone else in the Undertaker's way.

The angle starts small with Lucha Dragons going on a winning streak on Superstars, NXT, and Smackdown b/c Sin Cara is doing heel tactics behind Kallisto's back.

Sin Cara now only wears his black outfit and doesn't color coordinate with Kallisto. Eventually they feud with Los Matadores. Sin Cara turns on Kallisto and Los Matadores show El Torito what bullfighters do with little bulls.

Now Sin Cara Negro starts carrying the urn to Los Matadores tag matches and vice versa for Sin Cara's singles. In the ensuing feud, Kallisto sells like crazy and El Torito gets bullied so the Lucha Ministry can build heat.

Meanwhile, the luchadores go after the Undertaker's targets. By the Royal Rumble, the Lucha Ministry has mind controlled enough wrestlers that they are starting to look like the NWO on Monday Night Nitro.

In the Go Home episodes of Raw and Smackdown before Wrestlemania, the Undertaker has now mind controlled everyone in the WWE except for the Wyatts, Kane, and a few main eventers in big deal Wrestlemania feuds.

During Wrestlemania, the Undertaker's Druids and luchadores mind control everyone after they're matches and build an army towards the Undertaker's match in the Main Event.

Since the Wrestlemania streak storyline is over, the ending of the Undertaker's final match won't matter. The Undertaker's final opponent won't matter either b/c it's the Undertaker's final match and Taker's too big a name to share the spotlight at the end of his career.

Also, the match is ending in a scmazz and the entire locker room will empty out. The mind controlled wrestlers swarm everyone else. It settles down to Taker's final opponent needing to team up with John Cena and HHH against Taker, Sin Cara Negro, and a mind controlled Brock Lesnar.

Taker, Sin Cara Negro, and Lesnar dominate. But then the lights cut out and Kallisto and El Torito run a quick diversion for Sting to make his big entrance( or a big comeback if he's the final opponent).

Kane and the Wyatts come out with a red smoke producing machine that seems to snap the wrestlers out of the Undertaker's control.

All the big deal wrestlers are free from the Taker's control and take turns landing their finishers on the Undertaker. Of course, Taker sits up every time but eventually stays down after a couple F5s.

The Undertaker is then rolled into a casket and the lid is locked shut.

Vince McMahon paid to install a "lava pit" under the entrance or brings in truck with "lava." Now Daniel Bryan is going to throw the urn into the lava but Kane and some red cloaked druids are in the way. They ignore Daniel Bryan and take the Undertaker's body as they roll the casket away.

The urn goes in the "lava" and starts a fire work show and messes with lighting as it melts. Finally everything goes black and the Undertaker gives one final vignette swearing vengeance like General Zod in the Phantom Zone at the end of Superman II.

We come full circle b/c the last thing we see is the Undertaker's spirit floating away just like the end of his casket match with Yokozuna.

The next night on Raw, the story continues with the fallout. B/c some people are shaken up and other wrestlers are trying to take their spot in their moment of weakness. Some wrestlers hold feuds over the actions of the others while under the Taker's control. Some are suspicious over whether they used the mind control to do heelish things. And WWE continues on...

 

[Jeff Deliverer of Mail]

Who is Sin Cara Negro ? Is this a new black masked wrestler ?

 

[Sexcellence of Sexecution]

Or maybe don't put the Lucha Dragons in Taker's retirement angle.

This is fucking garbage.

 

[Jack-Hammer]

Not trying to knock the OP but, to me, this is a laughable idea that would be panned from the beginning. For one thing, it's like this hodgepodge of outdated gimmicks that would've been a stretch to pull off 20 years ago, let alone today, coupled with something that sounds like it comes straight from a comic book circa 1960.

The notion of using "mind controlled" wrestler would probably result in this being on of the worst angles in pro wrestling history because of a variety of reasons. Fans today don't suspend disbelief today as they did 20-30 years ago; they still do suspend it, but not nearly to the same level as fans of yesteryear did. One reason why Taker continues to be embraced by fans is because of nostalgia, a genuine respect for him & his devotion to the business and that he's managed to help reinvent himself just enough to stay relevant. If you tried doing the same gimmick with someone completely different today, fans would not only NOT accept it, they'd ridicule it to no end. Even so, despite nostalgia and continued like for Taker, this would be taking the suspension of disbelief much too far out of bounds; as I alluded to, it would've been hard to get people to buy into this back in the days when WWE had a more cartoonish sort of format.

Also, what's this business about Sin Cara Negro? Sin Cara Negro is not only gone, but it was a lousy idea in the first place. Besides, when you think about guys who're dominant beasts, guys who're portrayed as these destructive forces of nature, it's hard to buy into a destructive force of nature that's 5'9" and 200 pounds who's general ring gear fairly reminiscent of something you'd see out of Japanese Anime; yes I know Sin Cara's Mexican but you get my point. There are certain roles that can only be filled by wrestlers of certain stature. Sin Cara, AKA Hunico, and Kalisto are strictly mid-card guys right now and probably will remain so.

As far as the urn goes, the urn is more symbolic now than it was during the 90s. There've been several times in the past where the urn has been "destroyed" and Taker hasn't been ended. Back in the 90s, while feuding with Kama as part of the Million Dollar Corporation, Kama "melted the urn" down into a chain that he wore around his neck.

Frankly, all the supernatural, mind control, comic book inspired hocus pocus would, in my eyes, result in one lousy send off for Taker because it's just too laughably cheesy. Again, I'm not saying this to put the OP down, it's just that too many modern fans, dirt sheet writers, wrestling insiders, etc. are so jaded that it's hard enough to get them to suspend disbelief enough already, let alone with all this sorta stuff. Simple would probably be the way to go as far as some sort of ceremonial end of his career. Maybe remove his coat & hat, fold the coat carefully in the center of the ring with the hat lying on top of it, he walks out of the ring, turns to look back over his shoulder for a moment, turns away once more, raises his fist in the air, a bolt of "lightning" shoots down and sets the ring gear ablaze. Or, if it's not got enough pageantry about it, I suggested something at WrestleMania where his prone, battered body is carried out of the ring by the "Druids" and a handful of beautiful women wearing some sort of medieval "armor" type of costumes, inspired by the Valkyries of Norse myth where they'd escort brave warriors slain on the battlefield to Valhalla. These are just two rough ideas I had, not saying everyone should think they're good or anything like that, but it strikes me as less cooky.

I get and agree with the notion that some sort of spectacle should surround Taker's final angle/match because...well it's the Undertaker. While anything concerning the "supernatural" aspects of Taker's character, apart from his entrance, is sort of viewed in a tongue in cheek sort of way, there's a way to go about it that's ceremonial, dignified and it shouldn't come off as campy or corny. It's something that's tricky and would take some thought to bring about, but it could be done in a way that's both memorable and emotional.

 

[Slash-LN]

Next someone is going to suggest encasing a close friend of the Undertaker in cement to get rid of them too.

Let Taker get this match out of the way and go ahead and go away and enjoy retirement while he can still walk.

 

[the_peoples_adam]

I dont think it will be a good idea..

They should bring the american bad-ass gimmick back and have The Undertaker vs John Cena in a career vs something match at WM32..It will be huge and it will be the best...

 

[Logisticalbooker86]

This is obviously a joke. The Lucha Ministry? There's no way this is not a satire.

Congratulations, I smirked and chuckled several times. Los Acolytes 2015 followed by DAMN is a clear indicator the OP did not mean a word.

Besides, bringing back the American Badass gimmick is a far worse idea than the OP had.

Gimmick named after an overrated unoriginal rock song or evil Luchadores? I'm taking the Luchadores.

 

[willross]

DUDE!!! What psychedelic were you on when you thought this up? I want some...hook a brother up.

You had something at first and then you had a Lucha Ministry and a lava pit which completely destroyed what was at the core a pretty decent idea.

I think the one thing for Taker that is left in demand is for him to do some sort of Ministry of Darkness reboot before he ends his career for good. But Jesus?

....now if you said Finn Balor was his top disciple and the whole angle was to build for 6-8 months an eventual Balor vs Taker match to send Taker away from WWE.....THEN I am feeling the idea.

 

[Hollywood Naitch]

Respect to the OP for taking the time and effort to come up with this, it's clear that a lot of thought has gone in to it....but I don't like it, and I don't think any WWE fan would.

Los f'n Matadores as hired henchmen for Undertaker? Reallllllly? Somehow I can't see that working!

Now, if 'Taker was going to form a "New Ministry" of some kind, I think he'd use The Ascension as the "Acolytes" of the faction, with the team reverting to their more gothic characters rather than the lame LOD rip-offs we've seen since they came to the main roster. Finn Balor or The Wyatt's would also be a good fit.

But Los Matadores?????? GOD NO.

 

[BestSportsEntertainer]

Why not just a simple retirement match? Your ideas are just too corny, outdated, and just ridiculous. Sorry, but sometimes less is more.

 

[Navi]

To the OP, kudo's on thinking the whole thing up but holy shit what a gigantic clusterfuck you've created here.

First of all, considering there are only two Lucha wrestlers in the company the idea of a Lucha ministry is kind of ludicrous. Add that to the fact that does anyone really care about them or Los Matadores and the bull.

This is the year 2015, no wrestling fan, no matter how braindead they are, and there are some out there, would buy into this. It's not a classy way at all to send the Undertaker riding off into the sunset. Besides wrestlers never go away they just sort of take vacations, and if they were to do as you suggested, then they could never really bring him back, could they.

So whenever they need a big name, Taker's would be automatically out, as we're all supposed to assume that he's dead.

Let him have his final match with whoever, have him win, salute the crowd, and leave the ring to the standing ovation he deserves. A nice touch would be for the entire locker room to come out and line the ramp and stage as he leaves. Oh and maybe have Vince McMahon waiting at the top to shake his hand and thank Taker for what he's given the WWE and it's fans all these years.

That would be a much simpler and classy send off, than running around with a group of masked men, trying not to fall into a pool of lava. Which God only know's where they would get that from anyway.

 

[enviousdominous]

I really really REALLY don't think you can get away with "Sin Cara Negro" during the current social climate in the US.

I really had a good laugh reading through your screenplay for The Undertaker, I imagined that Terry Gilliam had directed it all using Monty Python style animation.

I pictured Los Matadores and The Lucha Dragons all holding the urn at the same time, like having to shuffle step while every person keeps at least one hand under it like some inverse game of twister.

Undertaker hypnotizes Brock Lesnar!? Holy cow, that's a good one. Brock has to be a zombiefied version of himself, reminding one of Kendo Nagasaki mesmerizing William Regal or GLOW's Princess of Darkness enthralling Mountain Fiji (LOOK IT UP!).

Who saves the day? Why Kane and the Wyatt Family you goof! Of course! Their red smoke will provide the deus ex machina necessary to make this circus of silliness finally conclude.

The conclusion to the Undertaker shall be: Daniel Bryan throws the urn into a pit of lava for no reason! YES!! YES!! YES!!

 

[RKO920]

I had an idea not too far back where the man, Mark Calloway retires but the character of the Undertaker can go on forever. The speech from his Casket Match with Yokozuna said the spirit of the Undertaker lives within the soul of all mankind. So, I'd like to see the character live on with a new Undertaker. At the time I looked into NXT to see who was down there, young and had the size to become the new Undertaker. I was immediately drawn to Baron Corbin, now yes he is 30 and not as young as Mark was when he became the Undertaker but this could work.

Bear with me because while this won't get as crazy as the Lucha Ministry it needs time to develop. This would start ASAP, on NXT have druids or the old creatures of the night just be in the crowd but make them more noticeable during Corbin matches. Nothing too crazy they're just there. Survivor Series, Baron Corbin makes his main roster debut as a surprise member of a Survivor Series team, if this sounds familiar it should. He then dominates the other team and gets the winning pin. On Raw and Smackdown whenever he is being interviewed in the back somewhere in the distance but still seen on camera will be a druid, just watching him but seen enough that we notice him. Fast Forward to the Royal Rumble, Baron is eliminated by Kane, when eliminated smoke comes from under the ring and three druids are there to carry him to the back. Next night on Raw Baron has a match and there is a black wreath left ringside, this starts to happen more and more and now Baron is taking notice to all of this and questioning it all. Finally some time in late February the Undertaker finally appears, whether it's just on video or actually in person but he challenges Baron to a match at WrestleMania. At Mania, Baron defeats the Undertaker. Next night on Raw, Undertaker comes out and calls out Baron Corbin. No words are exchanged in the ring but the lights go out and when they come back on Baron is in the ring alone and just the hat and coat of the Undertaker remain. He looks at it for awhile and then puts the hat on and when he does the gong hits, druids come down the isle with flaming stakes and he walks back up the isle as the new, Undertaker.

 

[Terry Gyimah]

I had an idea not too far back where the man, Mark Calloway retires but the character of the Undertaker can go on forever. The speech from his Casket Match with Yokozuna said the spirit of the Undertaker lives within the soul of all mankind. So, I'd like to see the character live on with a new Undertaker. At the time I looked into NXT to see who was down there, young and had the size to become the new Undertaker. I was immediately drawn to Baron Corbin, now yes he is 30 and not as young as Mark was when he became the Undertaker but this could work.

Bear with me because while this won't get as crazy as the Lucha Ministry it needs time to develop. This would start ASAP, on NXT have druids or the old creatures of the night just be in the crowd but make them more noticeable during Corbin matches. Nothing too crazy they're just there. Survivor Series, Baron Corbin makes his main roster debut as a surprise member of a Survivor Series team, if this sounds familiar it should. He then dominates the other team and gets the winning pin. On Raw and Smackdown whenever he is being interviewed in the back somewhere in the distance but still seen on camera will be a druid, just watching him but seen enough that we notice him. Fast Forward to the Royal Rumble, Baron is eliminated by Kane, when eliminated smoke comes from under the ring and three druids are there to carry him to the back. Next night on Raw Baron has a match and there is a black wreath left ringside, this starts to happen more and more and now Baron is taking notice to all of this and questioning it all. Finally some time in late February the Undertaker finally appears, whether it's just on video or actually in person but he challenges Baron to a match at WrestleMania. At Mania, Baron defeats the Undertaker. Next night on Raw, Undertaker comes out and calls out Baron Corbin. No words are exchanged in the ring but the lights go out and when they come back on Baron is in the ring alone and just the hat and coat of the Undertaker remain. He looks at it for awhile and then puts the hat on and when he does the gong hits, druids come down the isle with flaming stakes and he walks back up the isle as the new, Undertaker.

Taker passing the torch to Baron Corbin with Baron becoming the new Dead Man the new Reaper with Taker successfully passing the torch down to his new heir sorta speak to his legacy with Corbin carrying on the legacy I love it