These Lyrics

[Jane]

I wrote them...
I kinda have my beat. It's sorta a hip-hop sorta thing. Not rap but in that general.. style I guess.
So I know they're not great, I got more to write and all that. I'm not done yet. I just wanted to get some outside opinions. It's a remix of the song Where'd You Go by Fort Minor cause I couldn't make my own damn beat. I use the chorus from that song but that's it.

Here goes nothing.

Chorus

Where'd you go? I'm missing you still
Ever since you left it's like nothing is real
It's all just a dream and everything's wrong
It's just me and you and this little song

Most complete I ever felt in this world
Was when you were beside me, my own special girl
Now that you left me my inside is cold
My hands are so empty with no one to hold

I see you these days,and you look alone too
Might you be thinking about me and you?
The gleam in your eyes when you saw me has died
They're matching the way that I feel inside

Now I sit with my mind in a daze
My body unable to get through the days
And when it's all over I just think of you
Now tell me girl if this love isn't true

Chorus x2

Feels like forever, in a way it has
Cause every second without you takes a thousand to pass
Minutes don't matter when days never end
And an hour to heal takes a decade to mend

Questions plague me at night like the stab of a knife
Like how much do you miss me, do you miss your old life
What had I done that wronged you so bad
If I hadn't messed up what lives would we have?

You gave me no warning, no heads up at all
Before you just left me and my heart to fall
We haven't spoken now for a year at the least
So why do I think the ending might cease

I really kinda hope you went and moved on
I love you enough that I'd never wish this upon
Your unfractured soul and your still perfect heart
That somehow found strength to rip mine apart


Dun make fun of me.
And I need to add a few more verses.

 

[FromTheSouth]

Nice job.

You don't need more verses.

Have you heard a pop song on the radio lately? Let's take a Beyonce song. If you can repeat the same ten words for four minutes, it makes the greatest song ever.

This is better.

 

[My$terio_Fan]

FTS troll doesn't look good on you.
And nice Jane! I didn't know you were a rapper/songwritter! Represent!

 

[FromTheSouth]

Are you calling me a troll? What the fuck have you been doing for last couple of days? Shut the fuck up you stupid piece of shit hypocrite.

Jane, good job. Don't let that dumbass' presence in this thread get you down.

 

[Jane]

:/

Thanks both of you guys.

I plan to just throw in like an outro verse. A lot shorter. But I have an idea.

This is the first thing I've ever written. I play the guitar and I always think of ideas for songs but I get them down and pretty soon get bored. But most of the time it's totally made up. This time however it's sort of true, even if I greatly exaggerated the parts about loving her. It's just about a girl I was sort of dating who just stopped talking to me for absolutely no reason.

 

[48.7 is Approximately 49 Times Better Than You]

I count like, seven different words.

 

[FromTheSouth]

But someone said she's a great writer.

 

[Ty Burna]

I like it Jane, nice work. Not sure if y'all wanna see somethin I wrote down like a year ago or not, it ain't got no chorus it was sort of a freestyle lyric session.

This is a moment to look back on my life and reflect
Ain't pullin no punches just gonna be straight direct.
Was on the right path at the beginning to success
Fucked wit tha wrong people and started to stress
Fell down into a deep hole, its lookin like a grave
The survivors are from the home of the brave.
Got in with the drug dealers and the hustlers
Started workin, gettin tender from the customers
This wasn't no legal tender, it was blood money
Never had time to look to get myself a hunny
I was always about the money and the grind
Now I see that tha game made me blind.
Got in too deep, couldn't get out if I wanted
Tha game was all I ever was in and flaunted
Then shit started to get tight, the squeeze was on
It became survival of the fittest, fuck bein the don.
Escaped back to H-Town, life is getting better
However I was the middle man, the drug getter
You wanted it, I could go find and get it
With tha weed all you heard was the spark lit.
Gettin high constantly, it started spiraling again
I was thinking the time was coming when?
Responsibilty droppin from my life, no time
Gotta go put this last drop in and do the crime
Avoiding the police at all costs, I don't want the rap
But what I didnt' see was I was being played as a sap
A close call or two later, I'm realizing my mistake
A drug induced coma, from the dream I finally wake
Seein the ruins of the road I was destined to be on
I wonder how could I have fell for that fucking con?
Grabbed the pick and started to rebuild my road.
Trying to switch the mindstate, get into my mode.
The demons started to come, I kept looking.
Peering over my shoulder, I was waiting for the booking.
Luckily for me it never came and I was able to continue
The love for many suddenly became the trust for few.
I kept my family close and finally let them in to see.
What had been terrorizing the inside of this G.
The rehab had begun, I was no longer deaf.
I heard the voices and avoided my inevitable death.
I eliminated the fake people from my circle.
Finally evading the reaper and his twisted sickle.
The bitches that were fuckin wit me hit tha corner
It was time to start fresh, even if it meant being a loner.
Walked through tha wasteland searching for that one.
That would finalize this transformation and put down the gun.
So much time spent searchin, so many failures so much pain
But out of nowhere I got what I wanted, I found the best gain
The first woman to hold me down and keep me sane.
And I thank God for her, she kept me from being slain.
Though we will have our turbulent times, we will prevail
Because I will not let this boat without me sail.
But of course the demons of the past come to haunt
I will not let them twerk in front of me and flaunt
the mistakes I have done, the mistakes of the future.
I have sewn those wounds and closed it with a suture.
So you can no longer taunt me nor harm my soul.
The flame is strong and I'm pouring on the coal.
I've never been better, never been stronger.
I will keep this good karma much longer
then most of you are willing to give me.
But my vision is clear I don't have to flee.
I can face you all and say straight up fuck you.
I will no longer keep you together, I am not glue.
I'm prepared for war, and for all you haters.
Because when you face me all I gotta say is laters

 

[Jane]

I like it a lot, Ty.

See the problem is I haven't really had any hardcore experiences in life... so for the most part I'm either making shit up or scrapping for something to say. I can freestyle sometimes... lol. I make stuff up when I hear a beat but I forget it before I can get it on paper/remember it.

 

[Ty Burna]

I like it a lot, Ty.

See the problem is I haven't really had any hardcore experiences in life... so for the most part I'm either making shit up or scrapping for something to say. I can freestyle sometimes... lol. I make stuff up when I hear a beat but I forget it before I can get it on paper/remember it.

Thanks dude, that was actually wrote to no beat or anything so unfortunately if I were to ever put it over a beat I'd have to clean it up quite a bit.

Freestyling has never really been my strong suit. I can do it when I'm way drunk and battling my friend Billy, but I never see him anymore since he moved 400 miles away. But writing lyrics down has always been a passion of mine. As far as your content, even it ain't anything serious just write shit down about you and your life. If you wanna write about having a good time or checking girls out etc., by all means use that for your content. Trust me when I say you're lyrics will turn out better and feel more legit to yourself when you write what ya know. Also, I like the use of imagery, and metaphors are a great way to captivate whoever is reading. Just a few things I've picked up in writing rhymes and lyrics down.

 

[Jane]

Thanks for the advice. I think I'm gonna keep up this writing thing. It's actually quite fun.

 

[Ty Burna]

It's definitely a great stress reliever, at least for me it is. I think the main reason why is because it allows you to get your thoughts and emotions out onto a positive medium.

 

[J-Dogg]

Nice job Jane, and nice verse Ty, also anyone who wants to record music let me know, i've made and recorded some rap songs so anyone making music and wants advice let me know.

 

[Miko]

Thanks for the advice. I think I'm gonna keep up this writing thing. It's actually quite fun.

I remember when you used to insult me in the barroom, you've come such a long way.