So, I'm watching the latest SmackDown - don't worry, no spoilers - and it seems to me that there's two distinct crowds in attendance.
Crowd number one is the crowd I can see. This crowd, it would appear, doesn't realise they've paid good money to see a wrestling show. They think, I'd imagine, that they've bought tickets to sit in a public library. Those guys jumping around in their underpants are being awfully loud, aren't they? I hope the librarian asks them to be quiet; it's very rude. You have to sympathise with this crowd though, they're paraplegics with ADHD. You see, they can't stand up and they don't have very long attention spans. While Ezekiel Jackson slams some poor schmuck, they're sitting there, checking the dirt under their finger nails. While Christian cuts a promo, they're jus' chilling, maybe reading a newspaper. While D. Brine dives headfirst out of the ring, they're maxing and relaxing. Hey, it ain't too taxing.
Crowd number two is a different crowd entirely. This is the crowd I can hear. You see, they have car batteries wired up to their testicles (or ovaries, let's not discriminate) that give them powerful electric shocks every time there's a spot. Not only this, but their infant children have been taken away from them and will only be returned if the babyface is victorious. And if that weren't enough, they're socialist communist anarchist nihilist revolutionaries that, after they've cleared up what remains of their children's corpses thanks to a Cody Rhodes win, are going to march on Washington, storm the Whitehouse and eat Michelle Obama's face. And they will do this very, very noisily. VIVA LA REVOLUTION! VIVA LA REVOLUTION! VIVA LA REVOLUTION!
I don't know, maybe they were just kind enough to put the ADHD paraplegics up front, in camera shot. And hey, maybe they didn't want the fact that they're electrocuting people's reproductive organs while simultaneously holding their children hostage known, which is why you rarely see any of the violent revolutionaries on camera. Still, something seems amiss, non?
Crowd number one is the crowd I can see. This crowd, it would appear, doesn't realise they've paid good money to see a wrestling show. They think, I'd imagine, that they've bought tickets to sit in a public library. Those guys jumping around in their underpants are being awfully loud, aren't they? I hope the librarian asks them to be quiet; it's very rude. You have to sympathise with this crowd though, they're paraplegics with ADHD. You see, they can't stand up and they don't have very long attention spans. While Ezekiel Jackson slams some poor schmuck, they're sitting there, checking the dirt under their finger nails. While Christian cuts a promo, they're jus' chilling, maybe reading a newspaper. While D. Brine dives headfirst out of the ring, they're maxing and relaxing. Hey, it ain't too taxing.
Crowd number two is a different crowd entirely. This is the crowd I can hear. You see, they have car batteries wired up to their testicles (or ovaries, let's not discriminate) that give them powerful electric shocks every time there's a spot. Not only this, but their infant children have been taken away from them and will only be returned if the babyface is victorious. And if that weren't enough, they're socialist communist anarchist nihilist revolutionaries that, after they've cleared up what remains of their children's corpses thanks to a Cody Rhodes win, are going to march on Washington, storm the Whitehouse and eat Michelle Obama's face. And they will do this very, very noisily. VIVA LA REVOLUTION! VIVA LA REVOLUTION! VIVA LA REVOLUTION!
I don't know, maybe they were just kind enough to put the ADHD paraplegics up front, in camera shot. And hey, maybe they didn't want the fact that they're electrocuting people's reproductive organs while simultaneously holding their children hostage known, which is why you rarely see any of the violent revolutionaries on camera. Still, something seems amiss, non?