Rambo. The Terminator. Ivan Drago. Indiana Jones. Thus far, The Expendables 3 has been a Mount Rushmore of '80s action movie icons. But there's been a gaping hole in the mountain; a name that's clearly been missing from the Expendables series from the beginning; a void that no John McClane or Walker, Texas Ranger can fill. That gaping void in this lineup of ass-kicking excellence? Obviously none other than Dr. Frasier Crane.
Yes, Kelsey Grammer, the beloved TV shrink-turned-widely-tolerated-right-wing polemecist-turned-beloved-TV-con artist, is bringing his dry, erudite wit and flair for farce to this year's most anticipated comedy of manners, The Expendables 3. Producers reportedly wanted Nicolas Cage for the part, but clearly got the closest available substitute in Grammer. The former sitcom star will take on the role of Bonaparte, a retired mercenary who will "help the Expendables in their mission." That could mean pretty much anything from "kills thousands of henchmen with his bare hands," to "fills up their jeep with gas," but we choose to believe it involves clearing the area of rakes.
Grammer will join Antonio Banderas, Terry Crews, Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Arnold Schwarzeneger, Wesley Snipes, Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, and everyone else who has ever fired a gun in a movie.