As first made famous on The Big Bang Theory in both the 'Roommate Agreement' that Sheldon presented to Leonard before allowing him to move in, or the Relationship Agreement Sheldon presented to Amy before they entered into a dating relationship, the 'Cohabitation Agreement' is a relationship agreement two people enter into upon living together. These are generally used when one person owns property, and their partner, who owns none of it, is going to move in with them. To avoid difficulty later should the relationship sour, a Cohabitation Agreement outlines what happens in such cases.
Well, the issue reared its head this week in the latest episode of Total Divas, which was initially a reluctant watch with my wife. Now, it's a guilty pleasure for me, but that's neither here or there. Near the end of the episode, after Nikki Bella and John Cena had moved in together, John presented Nikki with such an agreement. Previous, he had informed she that he would never marry again, but discussed an alternative: living together. Nikki, albeit frustrated by John's unwillingness to not marry, agreed, and began the process of moving all of her things into John's house. As was revealed on the show, John had the document prepared before she moved in, but with his elbow/triceps surgery, he had forgotten to discuss it with she. And there is where the problem came in.
The details, I suppose, were fairly simple. In the agreement Cena had prepared with his lawyers, should problems arise between Cena and Nikki and the relationship was to end, she had 48 hours to vacate the premises. Problem is, Cena presented this to Nikki to sign after she had moved in, and should she not sign it, she would have to move out. She had moved all her things from Arizona to Florida, the sum being 24 boxes, I believe. And now, Cena is presenting her with an ultimatum: Sign this, or move out. He understood her frustration in him having presented it to her after she had moved in, and apologized, but he was dead set that she sign. Nikki, understandably blindsided, ran from the house, informing John she needed time to think, ostensibly ending the show on a 'cliffhanger.'
I understand Nikki's frustration, and have a big problem with both the timing of the presentation of the agreement and the agreement itself. The obvious problem with the timing is this: He asked her to move in, then presented her with the agreement. From there, it was one of two options: Sign, or move out. Never mind that Nikki had uprooted her entire life to go live with Cena, she had to either sign it, or? Undeniably, she could find a place to live, but that's not the point. This is something that should have been discussed before she moved in, as it may have been a deal-breaker for Nikki, and she may not have agreed to have moved in with Cena. At that point at least, had she refused, the couple could have avoided taking a huge step backwards, as things would have been what they were before. They would be living separately, but still together. Now, the dilemna is them going from living together(albeit for less than a week), to them living separately again. And it's Cena dictating the terms of the relationship, meaning it's not a partnership. Such relationships-where the balance of power is so heavily slanted in favor of one person- rarely work.
This balance of power is where I have the problem with the agreement as well. Yes, it's Cena's home, and Nikki has no material claim to it. When I built my house 6 years ago, my girlfriend-cum-wife moved in with me shortly after. I had made all the payments and the deed and mortgage were(and are) completely in my name. But I love and trust her enough that I don't need any such agreement. She was the woman I loved, and the woman I trusted. Granted, I've never gone through a divorce like Cena has, but if he's unable to put that behind him and his past "damage" keeps him from being able to have a current and future relationship with Nikki that's built on trust and being equal partners, the relationship is set-up to fail. Essentially, Cena seems to be counting on the relationship to fail without giving it a chance to succeed, in my opinion, and it leaves Nikki in a very compromised position. She has no rights, and is presented as a tenant, not a girlfriend and a lover.
And I'd guess that had Cena presented the agreement to Nikki before she moved in, she would have turned it down.
Thoughts on the timing of Cena's presentation of the 'Cohabitation Agreement' to Nikki?
Thoughts on the agreement itself? Is it fair to Nikki? Would you sign it if you were her, even if it was before you had moved in?
All other thoughts on this are welcome and encouraged.
Well, the issue reared its head this week in the latest episode of Total Divas, which was initially a reluctant watch with my wife. Now, it's a guilty pleasure for me, but that's neither here or there. Near the end of the episode, after Nikki Bella and John Cena had moved in together, John presented Nikki with such an agreement. Previous, he had informed she that he would never marry again, but discussed an alternative: living together. Nikki, albeit frustrated by John's unwillingness to not marry, agreed, and began the process of moving all of her things into John's house. As was revealed on the show, John had the document prepared before she moved in, but with his elbow/triceps surgery, he had forgotten to discuss it with she. And there is where the problem came in.
The details, I suppose, were fairly simple. In the agreement Cena had prepared with his lawyers, should problems arise between Cena and Nikki and the relationship was to end, she had 48 hours to vacate the premises. Problem is, Cena presented this to Nikki to sign after she had moved in, and should she not sign it, she would have to move out. She had moved all her things from Arizona to Florida, the sum being 24 boxes, I believe. And now, Cena is presenting her with an ultimatum: Sign this, or move out. He understood her frustration in him having presented it to her after she had moved in, and apologized, but he was dead set that she sign. Nikki, understandably blindsided, ran from the house, informing John she needed time to think, ostensibly ending the show on a 'cliffhanger.'
I understand Nikki's frustration, and have a big problem with both the timing of the presentation of the agreement and the agreement itself. The obvious problem with the timing is this: He asked her to move in, then presented her with the agreement. From there, it was one of two options: Sign, or move out. Never mind that Nikki had uprooted her entire life to go live with Cena, she had to either sign it, or? Undeniably, she could find a place to live, but that's not the point. This is something that should have been discussed before she moved in, as it may have been a deal-breaker for Nikki, and she may not have agreed to have moved in with Cena. At that point at least, had she refused, the couple could have avoided taking a huge step backwards, as things would have been what they were before. They would be living separately, but still together. Now, the dilemna is them going from living together(albeit for less than a week), to them living separately again. And it's Cena dictating the terms of the relationship, meaning it's not a partnership. Such relationships-where the balance of power is so heavily slanted in favor of one person- rarely work.
This balance of power is where I have the problem with the agreement as well. Yes, it's Cena's home, and Nikki has no material claim to it. When I built my house 6 years ago, my girlfriend-cum-wife moved in with me shortly after. I had made all the payments and the deed and mortgage were(and are) completely in my name. But I love and trust her enough that I don't need any such agreement. She was the woman I loved, and the woman I trusted. Granted, I've never gone through a divorce like Cena has, but if he's unable to put that behind him and his past "damage" keeps him from being able to have a current and future relationship with Nikki that's built on trust and being equal partners, the relationship is set-up to fail. Essentially, Cena seems to be counting on the relationship to fail without giving it a chance to succeed, in my opinion, and it leaves Nikki in a very compromised position. She has no rights, and is presented as a tenant, not a girlfriend and a lover.
And I'd guess that had Cena presented the agreement to Nikki before she moved in, she would have turned it down.
Thoughts on the timing of Cena's presentation of the 'Cohabitation Agreement' to Nikki?
Thoughts on the agreement itself? Is it fair to Nikki? Would you sign it if you were her, even if it was before you had moved in?
All other thoughts on this are welcome and encouraged.
