Yes, a lot of us are having a hard time dealing with the idea that Jeff Hardy would screw over the WWE after the two years they invested in making him one of the top draws in the company. But what people fail to realize is that Jeff Hardy's most important work lies outside of pro wrestling, where he will attempt to fix the most challenging economic crisis of our time.
How?
One word:
Cocaine.
As I'm sure you've heard, 90% of the money in the United States has cocaine on it. While it is joked about freely that the cocaine is the only thing keeping the money worth anything, some sholars actually hold this to be the reality of the situation. As a result, Jeff Hardy has signed on to be part of a crack team whose sole mission is to increase the cocaine content of the United States' paper money and help pull the country out of financial peril. Unfortunately, he can't do that within the WWE because of their confining drug testing policy. So Jeff will have to save us independent of the WWE.
I hope all of you understand that Jeff Hardy is doing this for you, your children, and all future generations of Americans. I personally thank Jeff for being brave enough tackle such a daunting task. Here's to you, Jeff Hardy!
How?
One word:
Cocaine.
As I'm sure you've heard, 90% of the money in the United States has cocaine on it. While it is joked about freely that the cocaine is the only thing keeping the money worth anything, some sholars actually hold this to be the reality of the situation. As a result, Jeff Hardy has signed on to be part of a crack team whose sole mission is to increase the cocaine content of the United States' paper money and help pull the country out of financial peril. Unfortunately, he can't do that within the WWE because of their confining drug testing policy. So Jeff will have to save us independent of the WWE.
I hope all of you understand that Jeff Hardy is doing this for you, your children, and all future generations of Americans. I personally thank Jeff for being brave enough tackle such a daunting task. Here's to you, Jeff Hardy!