SuperShow III: Krypto vs. Facecrush McSpinesmasher

[Kermit]

SuperShow III


In an epic David vs. Goliath story, Krypto will take on the giant monster known as Facecrush McSpinebuster. Originally doing the duties of Alhazred, Facecrush has gone rogue. After destroying Krypto's best friend RXJ9, and stealing his "girlfriend," Krypto looks to slay this huge foe before going on to the final boss known as Mister Alhazred.

Deadline is Wednesday July 10, 2013 @ 11:59 P.M. (Central). Soft Extensions Only​

 

[FlexAmerican Dynamite]

The Khronicles of Krypto

Revenge: A dish best served sweet, round, and with sprinkles​

Krypto: Where is she?! Missy! Where are you! Where did he take her?!

WZCW’s resident alien Krypto can be seen frantically searching around the arena for Missy who has seemingly been abducted by Alhazred’s muscle gone rogue Facecrush McSpinesmasher.

Krypto: Damn that evil monstrosity, where could he have gone? Where is he smart enough to even go? Why has he taken Missy against Alhazred’s orders?

Bob: Krypto! Krypto wait up, I think I can help.

WZCW backstage worker Bob sprints from the other end of the hallway to catch up with the alien.

Krypto: Not now Bob, Missy has been stolen by Facecrush.

Bob: That’s what I’m here about. It’s Facecrush, he left a note for you in the rafters and it was found by security. It was written in crayons and macaroni but I was somehow able to translate it.

Bob pulls out two pieces of paper, one with the original note and the other with the neatly typed translation. He hands the latter to Krypto and he thoroughly inspects it.

Krypto: Uh huh…..interesting….hmm…..I have no idea what any of this says Bob.

Bob: Are you serious? It took me like an hour to figure out what that said.

Krypto: Hand me the original copy, whatever language Facecrush speaks isn’t too far off from my native tongue.

Krypto reads a loud the note that says “FACECRUSH FIGHT PUNY GREEN MAN AT SUPERSHOW, FACECRUSH BRING BLONDE GIRL, PUNY MAN BRING SPINE, and BOTH SHALL BE SMASHED!

Krypto: So that’s the game that unsophisticated brute wants to play? Well I’ve got something planned for you Facecrush, just you wait.

Sometime Later

The Beard can be seen walking into his home and flopping down onto his couch after an exhausting day before popping right back up and realizing Krypto and Bob seem to be arguing about some type of documents on top of the dining room table.

Beard: Krypto?! What the hell are you doing in my house?

Krypto: Beard! How you doing buddy? I was wondering when you would get home, Bob isn’t nearly as much fun to hang out with as you are.

Beard: How did you get inside? Where’s Beardette? Where is my wife?

Krypto: Funny story actually, remember when we were hanging out and I borrowed your phone to try to call my Mom but I couldn’t get any reception on account that she lives on another planet and I tried to climb that one tower but lost it on the way up?

Beard: That never happened; you stole it because you said you needed the circuits to build a new Power Glove-

Krypto: Yeah well um somebody must have found that phone, pretended to be you and called your wife and said you won three all-expense paid tickets to Hawaii “wink”. Whoever was posing as you also said to take Beardette and wait for you to show up at the airport in a couple of hours.

Beard: Are you serious…what is wrong….sigh….just wow. That still doesn’t explain how you got in.

Krypto: Well that’s also a funny story, you see you have this basement window and some jerk *cough* Bob *cough*-

Bob: Hey you were the one that smash-

Krypto: Smashed in that window and we decided to come in to make sure nobody stole anything. So you’re welcome.

Beard: Do you know how expensive those windows are Krypto?

Krypto: Don’t even worry about it I know a guy who can fix that right up for you, he might take a while to get here seeing as last I heard he was doing hard time in Uranus but he’ll get here eventually.

Beard: …..Sigh…..I don’t even have the motivation to argue with you. With all the weird stuff that’s been happening, this controversy with Grizzly it’s just-

Krypto: Forget about all that, I need your help. I’m taking on Facecrush at the Supershow. You were at Aftershock, you saw how he kidnapped Missy, and I need to defeat him and save her and there is only one thing that will give me the ability to do that: Donuts.

Beard: Uh huh…..I’m not really seeing where I’m needed here Krypto.

Krypto: The human retail store known as Dunkin Donuts has the greatest collection of the chocolaty delights that Facecrush always falls victim to. With the help of you and Bob, we’re going to steal all the chocolate sprinkled pastries, we’ll inject them with the anthrax virus I stole from Alhazred’s secret laboratory, send them to him, and then watch as he eats them and suffers a slow painful death.

The Beard gives Krypto and a blank stare as the alien begins manically laughing and then looks at Bob who has a frightened look on his face and tries mouthing the words “help me”.

Beard: Okay…well a few things first. One: That’s murder, plus I don’t even think anthrax still exists. Two: How about instead of stealing the donuts we buy them? I’m pretty sure larceny goes against the WZCW contracts we signed and it’s not like it would be hard to find us, we’re on national television like every week. Three: Why can’t we just kidnap Alhazred and hold him for ransom until Facecrush gives back Missy?

Krypto: Facecrush doesn’t take orders from Alhazred anymore. The guy has gone rogue, there is something about Missy that has just sent him over the edge. Alhazred doesn’t even know where he went, plus he’s an emotional, smelly, and disgusting mess not even worth kidnapping. He will be dealt with at Kingdom Come.

Beard: Look Krypto, I know you want to be the knight in shining armor and save Missy but maybe she was right. Maybe this little feud of yours with Alhazred has gone too far, it’s gotten that poor innocent girl in serious harm. Who knows Facecrush could be doing to her at the moment.

Krypto: Exactly! If I want to end this war with Alhazred I have to defeat Facecrush, and to do that I need the donuts. You don’t understand Beard; I’m not just doing this for me. I’m doing it for Missy who for all we know is being maliciously tortured; I’m doing it for RJ, who was an innocent mechanical bystander that was killed because Alhazred commanded that soulless monster to kill him. I’m doing this also for you Beard, I saw what he did to you on Meltdown a few weeks ago. If he was dangerous with Alhazred commanding him think of how lethal he may be thinking on his own!

Beard: Fine….run me by this plan of yours and let’s get this done. But no murder, and we’ll need to use masks so people don’t recognize us, except you Bob, nobody really knows who you are anyway.

Bob: Gee…thanks.

Krypto: Glad to see you’re on board by bearded buddy, so here’s how it’s going to go down….

Sometime Even Later

Krypto, Beard, and Bob emerge from Bob’s minivan ready to put the alien’s ill-fated plan into action. Krypto then scavenges through the truck and reappears with two baseball bats and two masks with a striking resemblance to that of the Beard’s former tag partner Le Gentleman Masqué.

Krypto: Here are our disguises.

Beard: Really Krypto?

Krypto: Just put it on we’re wasting time.

The Beard reluctantly puts on the mask of his former ally and heads toward the Donut shop.

Krypto: Now Bob, all you have to do is sit in the car, be a lookout for any cops, and when it’s time to escape, burn flubber.

Bob: Did you say flubber?

Krypto: Of course, isn’t that how they do it in the Fat and the Furious?

Bob: I think you mean rubber and the movie is called Fast-

Krypto: Shut up Bob!

Krypto and Beard then make a dynamic entrance into the store only to realize it’s already being robbed, by actual criminals, coincidentally also wearing the same type of masks.

Krypto: I guess they’re Masked Gentlemen fans as well.

Robber #1: Who are these guys? Are they a part of the gang?

Robber #2: I don’t remember a midget and hairy blob being allowed in.

Beard: Watch it pal, I’ve got more muscle then you’ve got guts.

Robber #1: What do we do?

Robber #2: End these imposters and get the money from the cash register of course.

The intimidating looking criminals begin to step towards the short and bearded duo until they’re cut off by Bob who drives the mini-van straight through the front window!

Beard: Bob, what are you doing?

Bob: I saw you guys were in trouble and this was the only thing I could think of.

Krypto: Get the donuts!

Krypto dives over the register and begins dumping the sugary treats into a plastic bag, some even into his mouth until one of the robbers gets him in a tight headlock looking to choke out the extraterrestrial. The other robber goes after Beard who smashes him in the face with the baseball bat taking him down with ease. Bob jumps out of the driver seat to help Krypto but slips over one of the fallen donuts and falls to the floor. Krypto manages to squirm his way out and low blow the robber and Beard follows up with a devastating clothesline.

Krypto: Time to burn the flubber!

Bob: You mean rub-

Bob’s words are cut short as he’s accidentally trampled by Krypto who frantically jumps into the passenger seat of the van while Beard gets on the wheel, drives over the destroyed rubble and glass and immediately away from the destructive scene.

Krypto: Success! With this amount of donuts Facecrush will be under my command, and I’ll destroy him once and for all.

Beard: Was all that really worth it for a couple chocolate sprinkles?

Krypto: Of course Beard, I need these to defeat Facecrush. I need these to save Missy.

Beard: If you say so, it was weird that those guys had on Gentlemen’s masks though.

Krypto: Yeah, hopefully it will be explained in a future RP as a central plot point.

Beard: What?

Krypto: Nothing….I feel we’re forgetting something though.

Beard: Yeah so do I….

Spoiler

NEWS AT 10!

Reporter: Hi I'm Trisha Mokanowa and I'm here at Dunkin Donuts with a man that can be described as ordinary, average, and even boring. His name is Bob, and what Bob did here tonight is being called a courageous act of heroism, tell the audience what you did her Bob.

Bob: Well I there was these guys robbing the store, and I guess I just drove my car through the window to stop them. I guess I kinda blanked out afterwards.

The two robbers can be seen being put into Police cars and driven away.

Robber #1: This isn't over Bob, I know people, dangerous people, you and that midget friend are going to be finished soon enough.

Bob: He's going away for a long time right?

Trisha: Eh, robbery, first offense, probably decent lawyer, he'll be out before you know it. But the important thing is that you did such a heroic deed tonight Bob.

Bob: Can you stop saying my name on the air please.

Trisha: You work at WZCW correct?

Bob: Um....

Trisha: If anybody wants to personally thank Bob for this deed I'm getting word his home address is 626 E Pleasant Road.

Bob: This is all your fault Krypto....

 

[red ass skull muhfukkah]

Leon Kensworth is at a taco stand outside of a WZCW house show with a camera crew and van. They’re chatting about Kingdom Come and all the big storylines heading into it. They finish their food and throw it away before entering the van.

Camera man: I’m just going to test the camera out before the interview. It’s been acting up lately.

He turns on the camera and pans around the van. He points it at Leon, who’s sitting in the front seat. Leon waves and smiles at the camera, makes funny faces. The van begins to shake, the view outside the window slowly goes up, and Leon’s eyes widen. The view moves up faster and faster until the only thing that can be seen is the blue sky and clouds. It falls down quickly, trees are seen and the van rolls several times. The camera man crawls out of the van, grabs his camera and sees giant feet. It slowly plans up to see massive calves, gigantic thighs, a bulging loin cloth, ripped abs, pucked out pecks, and finally the chiseled, angry face of Facercrush McSpinesmasher.

Facecrush: Facecrush wants Leon to interview Facecrush.

Leon crawls out of the van.

Leon: Couldn’t you have just called me?

Facecrush: Facecrush would have but didn’t think his scream would be loud enough for Leon to hear.

Leon: That’s not what I meant.

Facecrush: Facecrush has no time for puny interview man’s humor and complaints. Facecrush has things he must say. Facecrush recommends Leon hurries up before Facecrush feels the need to smash a spine.

Leon snaps at the camera man and the driver. They grab the microphone and point the camera at Facecrush, Leon is standing next to him microphone in shaking hand.

Leon: Leon Kensworth here with a man that has caused more mayhem and lawsuits around WZCW these days than has ever seen before. He’s thrown large men at audience members, destroyed robots, crashed through several roofs, injured dozens of security guards, kidnapped a helpless young woman, and has vowed to destroy a little green alien. Now he has something to get off of his chest.

Facecrush: Facecrush has no apologies for every spine he’s smashed and face he’s crushed last few weeks. He feels nothing for those whose lives he’s scarred. Facecrush feel angry that Kittensworth would try paint him as bad guy. Facecrush not bad guy just want revenge and donuts and to penetrate vaginas.

The driver pulls out a donut and begins to eat it.

Leon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

in slow motion

Leon: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Super fast

Leon: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

Facecrush's eyes widen and within an instant he has the driver above his head and slams his spine onto his knee, smashing it.

Leon: GEORGE! YOU KILLED GEORGE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD! HE HAD ONE WEEK LEFT UNTIL RETIREMENT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRGE!!

Facecrush grabs Leon by the leg, swings him around his head like a helicopter and sends him flying into the sky. The camera starts to back away then sprint away through the jungle. Thunderous foot steps are heard around him. Suddenly he trips and drops the camera, a loud scream is heard followed by a the thud of a face being crushed and the snap of a spine being smashed. Then the strange sound of something being eaten sloppily and fast is heard. Off in the distance Missy is seen slowly walking out of a cave, hair in a mess, clothes ripped, and eyes filled with terror

Facecrush McSpinesmasher: FACECRUSH MUST EAT KRYPTO'S FLESH!!!