JohnJohnson
aka JuanJuanson
One of my best friends, that I grew up with, is currently my room mate. In school he was always quiet and didn't have many friends outside of my friends. There are a few problems he has.
1) He is currently 25 years old and just refuses to do anything. At his last job, he was a janitor for 5 years and hated it. He worked crappy hours and barely made over minimum wage. The whole reason he kept the job was because he just didn't want to put in applications. I told him one day that tomorrow I would sit down with him and help him with a resume and putting in applications. He said no, it's just not the right time for it. I moved out when I was a teenager, and he stayed at home. I kept trying to tell him he should get out there on his own. He always replied now's not the right time. He has no motivation to do anything, and quits anything the moment it becomes hard. If you ask him for an idea he will just sit there staring off into space. He refuses to put thought or effort into anything. I finally convinced him to move to Austin with me and figured that would really help out. I got him a job as a security officer because it is the easiest job in the world and pays more than his last job. But still, no motivation. He doesn't leave his room unless it's to get food or use the restroom. I constantly try to get him to come out. We live in a nice area with a beautiful parkway that is great for walking. The weather has been beautiful lately. I ask him if he'd like to go walking. He says no. I ask if he'd like to sit in a dark room and watch YouTube. He says yes. In high school he always said he wanted to work on computers. But he never took any college classes and never makes any effort to. He has never ahd a girlfriend and refuses to talk to them, yet expects me to get him laid. When I bring him around friends, he usually stares off into space and refuses to talk to anyone. When I try to help him with his conversational skills, I usually tell him to start a conversation with me(we've been friends for 17 years and have similar interests). He sits there and thinks for about 2 minutes, then mutters out a simple non open ended question. When I respond he just saus oh and goes back to being silent.
How do I get him to come out of his room? How do I get him off of the computer for a little? He spends all day on it. How do I get him to talk to people?
2)He is a diabetic and takes shitty care of himself. He doesn't ever want to drink water and I always have to tell him to drink water. I had to explain hydration to him, because he thought simply chugging a glass of water before the gym, while not having any water the rest of the day, counts He doesn't check his blood sugar anymore, and when he did it was usually in the 2-300s, and I've seen it go as high as 500's(it should be less than 120). He eats candy, cookies and fast food everyday. I drink only water and alcohol at the house so there are never fruity drinks or soda in the fridge. The guy goes to the store buys large bottles of soda, Hawaiin Punch or some other artificial juice and hides it under his bed. One day we were cleaning and I went in his room and he had like 6 empty bottles under his bed. He filled an entire 30 gallon trash bag with bottles and fast food bags/boxes. I'm constantly finding candy wrappers around the house, and I don't eat candy. The guy is killing himself. Not only that, but he buys fast food every day and it's killing his wallet. All of his money goes to fast food and snacks. Then when it comes time for bills, he either has nothing left or I have to cover for him a little. He currently owes me over $1000, and just the other day needed $25 for gas to get to work because he went broke. The guy takes home more money than me since his bills are less(his car is paid off) but I'm always having to carry him. I keep explaining to him that it's ruining him, and that I need that money back. He always has some excuse each payday though. He can never do anything because he doesn't have the money for it. Then he'll say things like he's going to go a whole month without fast food. Then when I ask what he ate, he'll say the leftovers in the fridge, which is an obviously lie when I took the leftovers with me to work. He even swore on his dog's(who he claims to love) life that he didn't eat fast food one day only to later admit that he did. It's gotten so bad that at one point he came home, and I was sitting on the couch, and I see him scoot out of sight and start making rustling noises. Then I see him with his work shirt suddenly untucked and a big lump under his shirt that he is holding, as he snakes off upstairs rustling with each step.
I've tried everything, from encouragement, to cooking him meals everyday to threatening him with physical violence. Nothing seems to work. How can I drive the point home and get him to quit ruining himself?
1) He is currently 25 years old and just refuses to do anything. At his last job, he was a janitor for 5 years and hated it. He worked crappy hours and barely made over minimum wage. The whole reason he kept the job was because he just didn't want to put in applications. I told him one day that tomorrow I would sit down with him and help him with a resume and putting in applications. He said no, it's just not the right time for it. I moved out when I was a teenager, and he stayed at home. I kept trying to tell him he should get out there on his own. He always replied now's not the right time. He has no motivation to do anything, and quits anything the moment it becomes hard. If you ask him for an idea he will just sit there staring off into space. He refuses to put thought or effort into anything. I finally convinced him to move to Austin with me and figured that would really help out. I got him a job as a security officer because it is the easiest job in the world and pays more than his last job. But still, no motivation. He doesn't leave his room unless it's to get food or use the restroom. I constantly try to get him to come out. We live in a nice area with a beautiful parkway that is great for walking. The weather has been beautiful lately. I ask him if he'd like to go walking. He says no. I ask if he'd like to sit in a dark room and watch YouTube. He says yes. In high school he always said he wanted to work on computers. But he never took any college classes and never makes any effort to. He has never ahd a girlfriend and refuses to talk to them, yet expects me to get him laid. When I bring him around friends, he usually stares off into space and refuses to talk to anyone. When I try to help him with his conversational skills, I usually tell him to start a conversation with me(we've been friends for 17 years and have similar interests). He sits there and thinks for about 2 minutes, then mutters out a simple non open ended question. When I respond he just saus oh and goes back to being silent.
How do I get him to come out of his room? How do I get him off of the computer for a little? He spends all day on it. How do I get him to talk to people?
2)He is a diabetic and takes shitty care of himself. He doesn't ever want to drink water and I always have to tell him to drink water. I had to explain hydration to him, because he thought simply chugging a glass of water before the gym, while not having any water the rest of the day, counts He doesn't check his blood sugar anymore, and when he did it was usually in the 2-300s, and I've seen it go as high as 500's(it should be less than 120). He eats candy, cookies and fast food everyday. I drink only water and alcohol at the house so there are never fruity drinks or soda in the fridge. The guy goes to the store buys large bottles of soda, Hawaiin Punch or some other artificial juice and hides it under his bed. One day we were cleaning and I went in his room and he had like 6 empty bottles under his bed. He filled an entire 30 gallon trash bag with bottles and fast food bags/boxes. I'm constantly finding candy wrappers around the house, and I don't eat candy. The guy is killing himself. Not only that, but he buys fast food every day and it's killing his wallet. All of his money goes to fast food and snacks. Then when it comes time for bills, he either has nothing left or I have to cover for him a little. He currently owes me over $1000, and just the other day needed $25 for gas to get to work because he went broke. The guy takes home more money than me since his bills are less(his car is paid off) but I'm always having to carry him. I keep explaining to him that it's ruining him, and that I need that money back. He always has some excuse each payday though. He can never do anything because he doesn't have the money for it. Then he'll say things like he's going to go a whole month without fast food. Then when I ask what he ate, he'll say the leftovers in the fridge, which is an obviously lie when I took the leftovers with me to work. He even swore on his dog's(who he claims to love) life that he didn't eat fast food one day only to later admit that he did. It's gotten so bad that at one point he came home, and I was sitting on the couch, and I see him scoot out of sight and start making rustling noises. Then I see him with his work shirt suddenly untucked and a big lump under his shirt that he is holding, as he snakes off upstairs rustling with each step.
I've tried everything, from encouragement, to cooking him meals everyday to threatening him with physical violence. Nothing seems to work. How can I drive the point home and get him to quit ruining himself?
