Social Networking Websites, Instant Messaging and Cyber Bullying.

[Richard]

In this day and age with the internet, we are able to create profiles on many different social networking websites that allow us to upload pictures, videos, post public comments, send private messages, join groups and keep in contact with old friends, relatives or you could even create a page for your band or yourself if you are a singer. You can also get people you don't know adding you.

While these websites's primary objective is for people to enjoy themselves online, they also allow predators inside your family home, into your childs bedroom if that is where the computer is which is where it shouldn't be especially if your child is young so you can monitor their web-surfing.

I remember flicking through the channels one day and the show Dr. Phil was on and when he started to talk about MySpace, it got my attention. The story was that there was a teenage girl who had been cyber bullied on it by a person who she didn't think she knew. It turned out it was the neighbour who was doing it because she wasn't friends with her daughter anymore. The girl then went to her room and hung herself, commiting suicide.

That is one of the many stories of abuse of social networking websites being abused. They don't always end in suicide though, as I have read a couple of stories about people meeting up with people and being raped.

The same can be said about MSN and other instant messaging programs.

So do you think that social networking websites are safe or not? What precautions do you take online? Or raise some new points, or have you been a victim of cyber bullying?

 

[HBK-aholic]

A girl in Leeds recently hung herself after cyber bullying which led her to look at suicide websites. She was a friend of a friend, and it makes you think how close to home these things can be.

To me, Social networking sites are just there to catch up with friends, have a laugh. I have a myspace profile which I use solely for Wrestlezone, as none of my 'real' friends use it much. But I see no problem with that. People just need to be careful, and not take everything at face value. I could make a myspace now pretending to be anyone I wanted to be. It's scary how easy it is. The only people I talk to online that I don't know are people I've met off of here.

When it comes to meeting people from the internet, I wouldn't rule it out. But I also wouldn't be stupid enough to meet at their house, for example. It'd be somewhere public, and someone would know where I was. I see you used the murder/rape stemming from online interaction, but you're more likely to be raped by someone you know, so that wouldn't be something that I'd be overly careful of, or you'd have to worry about everyone you know.

 

[Richard]

A girl in Leeds recently hung herself after cyber bullying which led her to look at suicide websites. She was a friend of a friend, and it makes you think how close to home these things can be.

Sorry to hear that.

To me, Social networking sites are just there to catch up with friends, have a laugh. I have a myspace profile which I use solely for Wrestlezone, as none of my 'real' friends use it much. But I see no problem with that. People just need to be careful, and not take everything at face value. I could make a myspace now pretending to be anyone I wanted to be. It's scary how easy it is. The only people I talk to online that I don't know are people I've met off of here.

That's what they are to me aswell, but also some people could see them as an opportunity to stir up drama, say things to you when they can't say them to your face and that's what the mother who I was talking about and her daughter did, make the fake MySpace to talk to the other girl.

When it comes to meeting people from the internet, I wouldn't rule it out. But I also wouldn't be stupid enough to meet at their house, for example. It'd be somewhere public, and someone would know where I was. I see you used the murder/rape stemming from online interaction, but you're more likely to be raped by someone you know, so that wouldn't be something that I'd be overly careful of, or you'd have to worry about everyone you know.

I've met people off the internet before, but only after I had been talking to them for about a year or so first then I felt that I wouldn't have a problem meeting up with them in a group of a few friends aswell at a shopping centre. A house I would never go to, you're asking for trouble if you go to someone's house. Never alone the first time, with a group of people if you have to meet someone off the internet.

Yeah I did say that, but I didn't mean it in a way to sound like that it was more common than people you know. Which statistics prove you're more likely to be raped by someone you know. I was merely talking about the possibilities of it from meeting people online and then in real life.

 

[Azrael Cain]

My understanding of social networking sites is this: it is a tool stemming out of the desire to be connected to the whole of humanity. Now, like with all tools we've come up with throughout history, it can be used for two things: good or evil. And like with all our tools, it is about the intention of the user.

Some people use MySpace (and Facebook) to stalk and rape. Others use it to make friends, keep in touch with relatives or whatever, or make music (MySpace's original purpose, btw). The thing is that because these things are on the internet, the proverbial information superhighway, there is a bit of anonymity (not so much with MS or FB, but here, for example, there is). And people feel safe when they are not known, or exposing themselves, and get more ballsy and more confident about their views, and whatnot. And almost no one thinks of consequences, on-line or off...

It's my opinion that cyber bullying stems from the same dilemma that real-life bullying stems from: insecurity, inadequacy and a need for attention and a desire to be understood. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but there seems to be a general consensus on where bullying stems from. I've never understood Cyber Bullying, as it's on the internet, in a vacuum, and it's irrelevant. But when it's done on MySpace or FB to gain revenge (let's take the scenarios you provided as examples) then there's something wrong with these people. Get over yourselves and grow up. In what world is a rational adult going to cyber bully a kid?! But again -- anonymity is a great motivator and makes people think they can get away with a lot more than they can...

Like I said, these are tools (not so much the Cyber Bullying, that's a consequence) and like most tools of humanity, they've begun to be abused and misused. But unfortunately those risks come with the territory. Children need to be lectured on safety procedures, and not talking to strangers on the net, just like in real life, because the threat and dangers are as real as anything, just because it's on the net doesn't mean a damn thing. The golden rule of "Do unto others," or the general "Respect" applies in every aspect of life - be it a life that is on-line or off.

 

[Tim]

The only things I use to keep in contact with my friends are MSN, and my phone. I must be the only person my age who doesn't have a Myspace. And does it affect me? No, and also, it decreases the chances of me getting cyber bullied. If somebody adds me on MSN and starts cyber bullying me, I block them. On Myspace, as far as I know, you can't do that, and it is much easier to cyber bully people on websites like Myspace. If we didn't have sites like Myspace, Cyber Bullying wouldn't even be much of a problem. And about meeting people over the internet, I see no problem with it. What's the problem with talking with a person you've never met, if you don't give out any serious personal info? Nothing. You can become good friends with some people, and that's what has happened with me on WZ. Cyber Bullying has become so big because of Myspace, and that's where this whole problem stems from. Get rid of Myspace, and te problem will be nowhere near as serious as it is now.

 

[Richard]

The only things I use to keep in contact with my friends are MSN, and my phone. I must be the only person my age who doesn't have a Myspace. And does it affect me? No, and also, it decreases the chances of me getting cyber bullied. If somebody adds me on MSN and starts cyber bullying me, I block them. On Myspace, as far as I know, you can't do that, and it is much easier to cyber bully people on websites like Myspace. If we didn't have sites like Myspace, Cyber Bullying wouldn't even be much of a problem. And about meeting people over the internet, I see no problem with it. What's the problem with talking with a person you've never met, if you don't give out any serious personal info? Nothing. You can become good friends with some people, and that's what has happened with me on WZ. Cyber Bullying has become so big because of Myspace, and that's where this whole problem stems from. Get rid of Myspace, and te problem will be nowhere near as serious as it is now.

It's just as easy to bully someone over MySpace as it is over MSN or on your mobile phone. Getting rid of MySpace, Bebo, Facebook, Tagged, My Yearbook and however many other networking sites there out there isn't the answer.

The thing with MySpace Tim is, since you said you don't have one, you can block users from contacting you. There is a block user button on everyones page and I know on Bebo you can block and delete users and you can do the same with Facebook but I feel that sometimes when someone is being cyber bullied to the point of the girl I mentioned and the one HBK-aholic mentioned, the point to where they just want to get away from it, they commit suicide, they aren't thinking rationally so the thought of just blocking them might not be the first thing that comes into their minds.

I've had my share with idiots online who go to my school who started saying stuff over bebo to me as soon as I graduated and left, that's how cowardly they were. I just blocked them though but it might not be as obvious to some people as it is to others, some people might choose to retaliate back which only increases the problem at hand.

People should go around to schools and talk to the schools during their assembly or perhaps each year group individually. On TV they had a guy talk to a year 12 class about how he was in a car with some mates and were acting irresponsible and crashed and 3 people were killed. So I think that it would be beneficial for a friend of someone who has commited suicide over Cyber Bullying to talk to students in schools about it and how to avoid it and what personaly information they shouldn't put on the internet.

 

[Tim]

It's just as easy to bully someone over MySpace as it is over MSN or on your mobile phone. Getting rid of MySpace, Bebo, Facebook, Tagged, My Yearbook and however many other networking sites there out there isn't the answer.

It's the best solution I can think of at the moment. If you have a better solution, I would love to do it. And it would certainly help the problem out, it may not end the problem, but it will definately help us on the way to a solution.

People should go around to schools and talk to the schools during their assembly or perhaps each year group individually. On TV they had a guy talk about how he was in a car with some mates and were acting irresponsible and crashed and 3 people were killed. So I think that it would be beneficial for a friend of someone who has commited suicide over Cyber Bullying to talk to students in schools about it and how to avoid it and what information they shouldn't put on the internet.

They've done this every year at my high school so far. It hasn't worked. Either we already know what to do and we keep on doing it, or we decide to go ahead and ignore the advice. ducation is all good in theory, but it doesn't actually work as well as everyone thinks it does. During these talks, I glance around. People are half asleep, talking to their friends, staring off into space etc. They've got to find a way to excite the kids, or else it just goes over their hed, which is happening at the moment. They have to figure out how to educate them about it as well as waht.

 

[Richard]

It's the best solution I can think of at the moment. If you have a better solution, I would love to do it. And it would certainly help the problem out, it may not end the problem, but it will definately help us on the way to a solution.

Getting rid of MySpace etc is just like the thread about cigarettes Rusty made, as good as the intentions are of getting rid of it, it's ultimately up to the user if they want to use it. Social Networking websites wont get banned.

They've done this every year at my high school so far. It hasn't worked. Either we already know what to do and we keep on doing it, or we decide to go ahead and ignore the advice. ducation is all good in theory, but it doesn't actually work as well as everyone thinks it does. During these talks, I glance around. People are half asleep, talking to their friends, staring off into space etc. They've got to find a way to excite the kids, or else it just goes over their hed, which is happening at the moment. They have to figure out how to educate them about it as well as waht.

Whenever people came to my school, instead of performing a speech, sometimes a group would come in a put on a play instead of a speech and perform the play, getting members of my year group involved to take part in the play wether it be as a person in a nightclub, someone who's been arrested. Interacting through a performed play would be the best way I think to get the message across. It wasn't just for entertainment though, in between certain acts they would present facts and dispell myths about the topic at hand.

If people from your class or your mates were involved in the play, wouldn't you pay attention to it?

 

[Tim]

Getting rid of MySpace etc is just like the thread about cigarettes Rusty made, as good as the intentions are of getting rid of it, it's ultimately up to the user if they want to use it. Social Networking websites wont get banned.

But if they got rid of the website, how would somebody use it? THey probably would not be banned, but say they were. They would be taken down, and there would be no wya of getting to them. Then there would be no way for people to use them, and it would help to decrease the cyber bullying problem.

Whenever people came to my school, instead of performing a speech, sometimes a group would come in a put on a play instead of a speech and perform the play, getting members of my year group involved to take part in the play wether it be as a person in a nightclub, someone who's been arrested. Interacting through a performed play would be the best way I think to get the message across. It wasn't just for entertainment though, in between certain acts they would present facts and dispell myths about the topic at hand.

If people from your class or your mates were involved in the play, wouldn't you pay attention to it?

Honestly? No. We wouldn't get involved in the play, and if we did, we would be shit scared and want to forget all about it. We're not the kind of people who go in plays, volunteer for it. WE might wag if we have to do a play or something. It might work for some people, but for others it would just be as boring as it was before. You have to think of something that caters to everybody if you want to educate them.