PlayStation 3, you confuse me so. Though I like your Blu-ray function and your shiny menus, you managed to piss away daddy PS2's profits already.
I mean, what is this Sixaxis shit? I get it, you flip SIXAXIS upside down and it looks like, well, SIXVXIS. I'm yet to see it well implemented into a game. Lair was damn near unplayable. Having to turn valve's with that shit in Killzone 2 was almost as big a pain as the final boss fight. And not having rumble? That was just fucking stupid.
On the topic of controllers, why have you got fucking marshmallows stuck on the back of them? You call them triggers but they're not. You know why? Because developers long ago realised they were completely unsuitable for this function and so now R1 is the default choice. Nice going. I mean, I bought the little add-on that, y'know, let's my fingers fit on the fucking things but it still feels like playing with the aforementioned marshmallows.
And why do all your games run better on the 360? It's a good thing you have some impressive exclusives, otherwise you'd just be a really expensive Blu-ray player. I wonder around gaming sites, hoping to get the news that a PS3 version of a game is superior but it never is.
And what's with the Spider-Man font? And those adverts that were so surreal that nobody was sure what you were advertising? Took you this long to figure out your branding was shit? Die in a fire, Sony executives.
I mean, what is this Sixaxis shit? I get it, you flip SIXAXIS upside down and it looks like, well, SIXVXIS. I'm yet to see it well implemented into a game. Lair was damn near unplayable. Having to turn valve's with that shit in Killzone 2 was almost as big a pain as the final boss fight. And not having rumble? That was just fucking stupid.
On the topic of controllers, why have you got fucking marshmallows stuck on the back of them? You call them triggers but they're not. You know why? Because developers long ago realised they were completely unsuitable for this function and so now R1 is the default choice. Nice going. I mean, I bought the little add-on that, y'know, let's my fingers fit on the fucking things but it still feels like playing with the aforementioned marshmallows.
And why do all your games run better on the 360? It's a good thing you have some impressive exclusives, otherwise you'd just be a really expensive Blu-ray player. I wonder around gaming sites, hoping to get the news that a PS3 version of a game is superior but it never is.
And what's with the Spider-Man font? And those adverts that were so surreal that nobody was sure what you were advertising? Took you this long to figure out your branding was shit? Die in a fire, Sony executives.
