Rejection – What is your stance?

[Ultra Awesome]

In the world of today, a common issue that many people face in their life is rejection. Most notably it occurs on teenagers when it comes to asking a girl out---these guys (or girls) fear that if they ask out a girl, that the girl will say no and ultimately, make the guy look stupid or feel embarrassed for trying to go out with her in the first place.

However, rejection is a much more broad topic than that. It covers at least 75% of today’s population. People all over the world fear rejection. They fear that they will not get *accepted* into whatever it is that they want to get in or try to get in. It usually goes to the typical situation where there is a person with high hopes trying to get into said group because of wanting to be a part of them. Unfortunately, this person fears that he will not get accepted into the said group and never tries to actually be involved with them.

Obviously, there are many more situations that involve rejection, but these two above are usually the most common. The problem with rejection is that it leads to negative effects on the person receiving rejection. These negative effects consist of loneliness, low self-esteem, aggression, and even depression. Rejection can even lead to having insecurity about one’s self; thus leading to having an even greater fear of rejection.

It's safe to say that no one wants to recieve rejection, yet people can't help but fear it either way. I myself do NOT fear rejection as I've learned to accept the fact that rejection is only a part of life and everyone will face it at one point or another, so best be just to deal with it and get it over with. But that's me; not anyone else. Therefore, I ask you...

Do you fear rejection?

--If so, or if not​

How well do you take rejection?

As I said before, there are many people in the world that fear rejection. But to the same time, there are many people that don't really give a shit about rejection. But what about you? What is your stance on rejection?

 

[Window Licker 101]

I'm going to be brave here and admit yes I do fear rejection. Why? Well to me you have to live with the thought of being publicly embarrassed and humiliated by someone you thought you could become close with for a long time. I share in my head the thought that if I ever was rejected by a girl they would think "Theres that loser who wanted to go out with me. What a creep." I think people draw up more negative outcomes than positive. The first thought is "What if she says no?" Nobody, or not a lot of people think, She is bound to say yes unless you are in a very secure and comfortable posistion realationship wise. So to summarise my point rejection can shatter confidence earned over years in a matter of seconds.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

I dont fear rejection at all, and it relentlessly escapes me why anyone would. Is just another person, thats all. Who cares if they arent interested in you. Nothing in the actual, practical world is effected, nor do you suffer any actual physical damage or injury. Its just the whims of another person.

Just. Another. Person.

 

[Spidey Revivey]

I don't fear rejection because it's a natural occurence in social life. If I feared it, then I would most likely not try to interract with women. Truth is we all face rejection in some way or another; if you can pick yourself up and get over it then you will land some lady's affection somewhere down the road. If not, then your odds don't look quite as good.

It's all a part of growing up and becoming a man/woman.

 

[CH David]

For a long time I was a shy and timid kid who hated getting rejected. True story. That's just regarding females. Now I couldn't really give a shit. I'm myself, girls dig it, and whether we end up dating or not, it's no big deal to me anymore. Rejection sucks but it's only your pride that gets damaged. Shit happens, get over it and move on. Before I took it hard, now I'm bummed for about 2 minutes and then go about my day like normal.

As far as other rejections. Yeah it sucks. I was rejected and ignored by a bunch of radio stations just to try and get an internship. I'd get an interview and afterwards when I would call them about it I either wouldn't get an answer or I got a no thanks. It blew, but I've got a better internship than any of those other places would have given me so I'm happy as can be.

Rejection is all a slap to the ego. It just matters how quickly you can get over it and get back at it.

 

[ThUnDeRpHoEnIx]

I dont fear it. Usually I'm never rejected.Most of the time its me doing the rejecting. Girls always ask me out but I refuse on the basis that usually we are good friends and dont want to ruin it.

I remember I was first rejected when I joined the school rugby team before everyone learnt I could actually play.

 

[Jack-Hammer]

I used to fear rejection quite a bit. When I was a kid, I was a little on the chubby side and I wore glasses. If you were a chubby kid with glasses during the 1980s, you weren't exactly going to be Mr. Popular. Quite frankly, I looked kind of like a "nerd". It's not nearly that big of an issue today. Hell, the "geek look" these days is actually quite popular.

After I started junior high, I decided to do something about it. Went on a diet, lost a ton of weight and started to feel better about myself. I started pumping iron about a year later and it helped me to come out of my shell. Let's face it, teenagers put a helluva lot of stock in physical appearance and I had a lot more confidence than I did so it was easier to just open up and put myself out there.

Sometimes, I did get rejected and sometimes I still do. It stings a little but it's not the end of the world. There are always going to be people that, for whatever reason, just aren't going to be interested in your company whether it be male or female. It could be based on your appearance, the way you dress, political/religious beliefs, even how you walk or move. Once you realize that it's hardly the end of the world, it's simply much easier to deal with.

 

[Davi323]

I've learned to accept the fact that rejection is only a part of life and everyone will face it at one point or another, so best be just to deal with it and get it over with.

This. The problem we have today is that too many parents coddle their children by giving in to their every whim, because rather than be a parent, and teach their child that the world isn't going to give them everything they desire, they would rather be a friend instead. Those kids end up not learning about rejection, and end up really struggling with it later, when they find out the world doesn't revolve around them. The single most important thing a parent can tell a child after "I love you", is "No". Rejection is a part of life. You will get turned down for dates, you will submit 50 resumes and hear back from maybe two or three, you will get denied things. Does it suck being rejected? Absolutely. But, you deal with it. Man up. Get back on that horse, and all those other worn out cliches.

 

[Phoenix]

Much like many before me in this thread, I grew up shy and nerdy so rejection was something new and major to me so accepting it was hard. In time, I've come to accept the fact that I may not be the most attractive or witty person available, that in the end I will still be and if that's not good enough to warrant a yes, then you're wasting my time. With girls, I just know that the majority of them are going to say no because I don't fit their needs or wants to warrant them to go out with me, so I've accepted that part of rejection because it's something I've become accustomed to the point where to fear it is simply pointless.

Working/job wise, had no problems there as that comes with any form of life.

As for friendship circles, much like asking out, the initial reaction I have no problems with, it's more the issue I have is with people I have spent time to get to know, even open up to which is usually very difficult for me and to then shun me out/betray me after, a rejection after acceptance. That's problem the biggest issue I have with today, if someone embraces me as a friend to the point I can trust them only for them to abuse it and use it against me to force me away, that's what I find disgusting. While as said, rejection is something I'm use to, but to have it because someone betrayed me and used something against me, that's what I take offence to. There maybe a time where I would forgive it, but I certainly won't forget it.

 

[Dagger Dias]

I do not necessarily fear rejection. I dislike it though. Many people share my thoughts on just wanting to be liked. It's hard if you are trying to make a new friend or are pursuing someone you want a relationship with. Those types of rejection can hurt, depending on how you think of the person. If some random person at the store doesn't like you, then it won't bother you as much as someone you think highly of not liking you. For me, I generally just shrug it off unless it's someone I thought really highly of and expected better from them than treating me rudely. If you are going to reject someone in any way, you should go about it positively because it could potentially really hurt them. Put yourself in their shoes, if they really like you then it is going to hurt. Lessen the pain by being nice about rejecting them. Some couldn't care less, while others do and would go as far as to daily post whiny rants on facebook about it. The latter just need someone to be nice to them, even if they don't particularly like them or want to be their friend.

 

[SalvIsWin]

I'm very skeptical of those in this thread who posted that they do not fear rejection. Maybe you people are interpreting the question differently than I am. I don't think I've met or know a single person who is truly unafraid of being rejected. I don't know a single person who walks up to a female for example with the intention of scoring a date, without at least a bit of apprehension or anxiety.

Whether you should fear rejection is completely different. There's no reason to really let the opinion of another person bother you, unless it's going to literally adversely affect your life somehow in some way, but to suggest that you're completely unaffected by some apprehension, axiety, etc sounds ridiculous to me.

 

[LSN80]

I have an immense dislike for rejection, and there's SOME fear that goes along with it. The choice comes in is if one allows that fear to affect their lives, and their decisions. If I had been lead by that fear, i probably wouldn't be married to my wife.

When I think about it, there were plenty of opportunities for rejection within the relationship. When I first asked her out, she could have said no. What if I would have feared that so badly that I never asked?

As we began to date, I asked if I could see her exclusively. Again, another time where rejection is a possibility. I didnt know whether or not she wanted to be "serious" with me, in fact, in some of our conmversations she had discussed how she WASN'T ready for a serious relationship. But if I had lived in fear, I would have never asked.

After dating for over a year, I decided I wanted to marry her. Obviously, this enters a completely different level of rejection. But I asked anyway, because it was worth taking the risk. And thankfully, she said yes!

I don't deal with rejection that well, even if I dont let my life be ruled by the fear it. You learn when you live with someone on a daily basis that every situation is a chance for a small rejection. From a "not tonight" to not looking me in the eyes, its rejection. And because Im human, and think of my feelings first naturally, Im selfish. I used to be quite immature about rejection, and my wife would often wonder why I wouldn't talk to her for hours at a time. Did that make me insecure as well? Sure.

It took her basically sitting down with me and telling me that I was pissing her off, but that she loved me. She assured me of certain things, but that she wouldn't always make me happy. And that made all the difference, as just the statement of not being rejected made a difference in how I reacted to her, and changed her response to me.

So I think one reaction to rejection really will affect how their current/future relationships will go. I know they have in my case. Making a change in my outlook and how I dealt with rejection, no matter how small, has made a huge difference in how I experience it.

 

[Hollywood Naitch]

As a teenager I did fear rejection. I always thought I was not good looking and this made me pretty shy round girls. I had lots of friends, girls and guys but when it came to actually asking someone out, I was really worried about getting blown out and having the mickey taken out for me by my friends.

But as I got older, worked out at the gym, and just generally became more confident these worries faded away. I have found out now that plenty of girls fancied me as a teen in school, and I just never read the signs. I feel pretty stupid that I ever thought like that, and even though I am in a long-term relationship now, I have been told by several girls that if I am ever single again to call them right away lol

Now I am definately not the most confident guy in the world, probably just about average and I still hate the thought of rejection, be it job interviews, girls or anything, but it is a part of life and I am now mature and confident enough to get over it.

What I learned was that by thinking in a certain, incorrect way (that I wasnt good looking when plenty of people thought I was), that it spoiled things for myself, and being worried about rejection probably stopped me from getting several girlfriends back in the day. So what you gotta do is just face it, get rejected if need be, and then move on without trying to let it affect you. I can still remember things that were said that hurt me growing up and probably always will, but as you get older you can deal with stuff better and move past it.

 

[LitasRevenge79]

I admit, I did fear rejection growing up. I wasn't the same outgoing, lively person some of you have come to know and love through my fun communications on here, and battled depression and anxiety. I bought into the stigma of "You're nothing if you are NOT accepted by the moral majority of everyone around you." So I would do everything to try to fit in. Made sure I was right size, weight, etc. It made me accepted, but didn't make me feel good. Even being in a long term relationship in high school, I should've been happy, but it wasn't enough, I had to be up to SUCH standards for fear of being rejected, and my punishment was sadly, physical and emotional abuse. Later, I came to realize that I didn't HAVE to be anything I didn't want to. I wanted to be myself and didn't care who liked what I liked or didn't like. Soon the people that liked me for me were around me and probably the most genuine people I've come to know. It wouldn't matter how much rock music I like to follow up with a country cd, or how many times I'd want to dye my hair purple or stoplight red, or wear punk rock shirts, or just watch wrestling over and over again, or watch a marathon of ANGEL or how many tattoos I may have or if its un-ladylike what tattoos I may have. Your true friends, or people who want to date you will like you for YOU, and like you with your hobbies included, or whatever you want to look like. I've learned just not to give a F@%* anymore what people think of me, and if they reject me, its THEIR loss, not mine!

 

[Hollywood Naitch]

I admit, I did fear rejection growing up. I wasn't the same outgoing, lively person some of you have come to know and love through my fun communications on here, and battled depression and anxiety. I bought into the stigma of "You're nothing if you are NOT accepted by the moral majority of everyone around you." So I would do everything to try to fit in. Made sure I was right size, weight, etc. It made me accepted, but didn't make me feel good. Even being in a long term relationship in high school, I should've been happy, but it wasn't enough, I had to be up to SUCH standards for fear of being rejected, and my punishment was sadly, physical and emotional abuse. Later, I came to realize that I didn't HAVE to be anything I didn't want to. I wanted to be myself and didn't care who liked what I liked or didn't like. Soon the people that liked me for me were around me and probably the most genuine people I've come to know. It wouldn't matter how much rock music I like to follow up with a country cd, or how many times I'd want to dye my hair purple or stoplight red, or wear punk rock shirts, or just watch wrestling over and over again, or watch a marathon of ANGEL or how many tattoos I may have or if its un-ladylike what tattoos I may have. Your true friends, or people who want to date you will like you for YOU, and like you with your hobbies included, or whatever you want to look like. I've learned just not to give a F@%* anymore what people think of me, and if they reject me, its THEIR loss, not mine!

I think that is a great post. I think alot of people feel or have felt the same way that you did, where you constantly feel like you have to try and fit in. It is great when you finally reach a level of confidence where you realise "Hey, fuck you! If you dont like the way I dress, or what music I listen to then thats your problem, not mine!"

I was the same way. In high school, most of my friends didnt like my kind of music and at that point in time, where I lived, there were always fights breaking out between the rockers and the more "trendy" kids. Now, I liked the rock music but most of my friends were in the other group, so I always had to put up with being made fun of for the stuff I was into. It did bother me at the time but eventually I just kinda thought it doesnt matter. I am who i am and if they didnt like me for it then they wouldnt hang around with me.

It turned out that it didnt end up being a big deal. I did my own thing, listened to what I wanted to and didnt lose many friends over it. One or two yeah, but thats just their loss. You are still the same person no matter how you dress or look.

Be yourself, who gives a flying fuck if people like it or not. As long as you do what you wanna do and be who you wanna be, and are happy doing it, thats all that matters!

 

[Loveless]

Do you fear rejection?

Certainly in some aspects but maybe not as much as I used to. It's very difficult to go after something if you don't have the faith that it'll work out in your favour.

How well do you take rejection?

Honestly not well at all but I've managed to avoid it a lot by launching a pre-emptive strike, I choose to leave/reject you before you do it to me.