Only In My Job...

[Dan Severn's Moustache]

Only in my job do you have legitimately brain damaged hobos with scruffy beards and the voice of a cautionary Marlboro's tale refusing to leave the premises without throwing a fit after gently being reminded that the premises were being closed, and then deliberately walking at a snail's pace to piss off all our employees.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, so I guess you can use this as a place to vent frustration about your work/job as I have here.

 

[George Steele's Barber]

Sounds like you collect shopping carts at Walmart?

 

[Jeff Deliverer of Mail]

I deliver mail to the masses, so I've seen some shit mang. Like taking a shortcut across a yard (back when we did it on foot) of a house knowing what kind of monster lived there, (a huge great Dane) and seeing a pile of what looked like cat bones right in the middle of the yard.

 

[Hard Hit Prince]

I get hit on by older women. Sometimes I fuck them.

 

[Cereal Killer]

Work in a call centre at the moment for John Lewis Insurance. I don't mind the complainants, but dammit why some people complain about policies that they took out and that they get sent documents for can get frustrating. Sometimes the only answer I can give is "read your policy, the declinature of your claim is explained here." A good skill to learn in such situations is to talk a lot without actually saying anything, kind of like a politician.

 

[Dagger Dias]

Work in a call centre at the moment for John Lewis Insurance. I don't mind the complainants, but dammit why some people complain about policies that they took out and that they get sent documents for can get frustrating. Sometimes the only answer I can give is "read your policy, the declinature of your claim is explained here." A good skill to learn in such situations is to talk a lot without actually saying anything, kind of like a politician.

I'm a supervisor in a call center myself. The reverse of what you just described also works. Let them rant if they are upset so they can get it out of their system, and then show them you care and do want to help. Usually helps a lot with the unhappy customers.

 

[Bagpipes]

I run heavy equipment and weld gas lines at a landfill. Its too cold, and then too hot, sometimes it smells like garbage, but I don't have to deal with people, like ever so +1.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I'm retired so I'm the awkward customer you all encounter.

 

[Dan Severn's Moustache]

Sounds like you collect shopping carts at Walmart?

Not too far off. I work in a supermarket, primarily on tills, but I also help prepare the shop for the next day when we're about to shut down. Been there for just under a year now, so it's by no means a permanent deal, but it gets me out the house and socialising on a regular basis, so I can't complain too much.

 

[enviousdominous]

Had a pretty shitty day at work the other day. So things don't get too confusing, I'll mention now that I'm in the US military.

My unit is prepping for a big evaluation in a few weeks, so they're holding lots of time wasting "meetings".

The long version of my tale:

Spoiler

Not being much of a talker, I was going through the arduous process of getting rid of old equipment. The process for getting rid of old equipment is a pretty lengthy one involving lots of paperwork and bureaucratic red tape due to the fact that the US Government paid for it all. My co-workers are well aware of how painstaking the effort is, because they freely admit that they have no clue how to do it.

After turning in a metric shit-ton of old appliances, I noticed that my unit had been stashing paperwork in another unit's storage area for the last TWELVE YEARS. I found out because a friend of mine from that unit mentioned that the fire chief wrote them up for having that mountain of documents on hand.

These documents had social security numbers on them, so they couldn't just be chucked into a dumpster. I took my subordinate with me to the same place where we had turned in the old equipment, and had all the documents shredded. Nobody asked us to do that, and I knew that it was one of those fucking stupid tasks on everyone's to-do list that they would never find the willpower to actually accomplish.

All that I mentioned above is significant, because a few days prior my co-worker who works in a different facility had asked me to go sign out lawn care equipment from the self-help store to be used for her facility. I manage a different facility under the same unit by the way. I don't like to sign things out when I won't have positive control over them, so I politely refused and she seemed content with why I was refusing to do that.

Not long after going out of my way to help my unit, I get a call from my boss. Apparently my co-worker had gone to her complaining that I didn't want to do her job for her, because I don't want to be a "team player". I was cussed out over the phone for not doing enough for the unit in the run-up to our upcoming evaluation.

I sat down with my boss later, and in-spite of the fact that she (my boss) played dumb the entire time in regard to how she (boss again) behaved on the phone earlier; boss lady agreed that if anyone wants me to do their fucking job for them, they need to vet that through the boss first.

The short and sweet version:

Spoiler

My lazy ass piece of shit co-worker whined to the boss that I wouldn't do her job for her, right after I had gone out of my way to make the unit seem a little more pleasing to fellow units. My boss took my co-worker's side because she (my boss that is) would rather look fucking stupid than admit that she (boss again) doesn't have the guts to stand up to my co-worker.

Being a nice and reliable person is a huge asset to the fucking assholes I work with. But on the bright side, I'm deploying in a few months. The sweet part of that isn't just that I'll be essentially getting a paid vacation, but I heard that my boss and co-worker tried to pull strings to keep me from deploying because all they're skilled at is pretending to give a shit about anything job related.

 

[Dirk]

Only in my job do you do weddings and funerals on the same day.

 

[tdmoon]

I work in an auto body shop and one great aspect of it is that I don't have to deal with too many customers. My biggest and most constant gripe is insurance companies. They are always in a hurry to collect your premiums but most companies want to nickel and dime every aspect of the repair, it's a constant battle with them.

 

[JGlass]

Only in my job do you have legitimately brain damaged hobos with scruffy beards and the voice of a cautionary Marlboro's tale refusing to leave the premises without throwing a fit after gently being reminded that the premises were being closed, and then deliberately walking at a snail's pace to piss off all our employees.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, so I guess you can use this as a place to vent frustration about your work/job as I have here.

I used to work at a psychiatric hospital. Shit like this would have been a good day for us.

 

[JGlass]

Only in my job do you do weddings and funerals on the same day.

Orgy organizer?

 

[tdmoon]

I used to work at a psychiatric hospital. Shit like this would have been a good day for us.

I get what you're saying, I used to work in a pysch hospital as well. It got expensive if you're a smoker, too-I'd have to buy a pack of generics every morning just to give out to all the people who'd ask to bum a cig.

 

[JGlass]

I get what you're saying, I used to work in a pysch hospital as well. It got expensive if you're a smoker, too-I'd have to buy a pack of generics every morning just to give out to all the people who'd ask to bum a cig.

If I was stuck in a psych hospital, I'd probably take up smoking too. I've been to many psych hospitals (as a social worker), and not one of them was a pleasant place.

 

[ABMorales787]

Pfft. I've Superkicked hobos. Bragged about it here, too.

 

[Miko]

I drive machines on building sites, mainly the big telehandler forklifts, most days are pleasant, although non-stop, other days I would fight everyone in the world because apparently every trades foreman thinks you're there for them and them only. Plus construction workers are disgusting, I've walked into the toilets to see bloody turds thicker than my arm, no human could have made those, seriously.

Obviously this had to come back down to poo, most of what I talk about does