If you're looking for the best heel commentator of all time, look no further than Jesse Ventura. I'm not sure what the general forum's opinion of this man is, but quite frankly, I don't care. There has never been a bigger, more hilarious, more ridiculous heel commentator than Jesse Ventura. Many have tried: Heyman, Heenan, Lawler; but none had what it took to imitate Jesse Ventura. The WWE realized this, so they did the only logical thing to do in this situation. They gave up on creating heel commentators.
The last time we had a real heel commentator was back in 2007, when JBL was announcing Smackdown along with Cole, and even then, he was hardly as blatantly rude, disrespectful, and illogical as the heel commentators of old. So for nearly 3 years, we were allowed to watch wrestling without any annoying wannabe Jesse Ventura trying to make his own niche at the announce table.
Those 3 peaceful years came to an end when NXT went on the air, and Michael Cole set his sights on internet darling and fan favorite Daniel Bryan. His hatred for the face of NXT brought out negative responses from the audience, and the WWE decided to create a heel announcer in Michael Cole. Cole would go on to worship the Miz, cheer for heels during NXT while booing the faces, develop an odd appreciation for Vickie Guerrero, hate on R-Truth, and basically be an all around downer.
Cole may have reached the point of no return for his heel turn tonight on NXT, as he stood up, announced that the show was a joke, his disdain for the Detroit audience, insulted Josh Matthews and all the competitors, and then apparently quit the show, storming out of the arena.
And for no apparent reason whatsoever, the IWC is eating it up. The very people he ridicules are in love with the new Cole persona, and I can't find out why. He is nothing but obnoxious, he completely ruins moments for our favorite wrestlers, cheers for them to get hurt and beaten, and is just an all around negative person.
"But Glass, this is how heel commentators are! They have their own twisted sense of the goings on in the WWE!"
That might be true, but we all know Michael Cole's mind is not twisted. First of all, he still roots for John Cena. If he was a real heel commentator, he would boo the shit out of Cena, who is the most pure face the WWE has put out since Hulkamania was running wild. We have witnessed Cole favor faces over heels throughout the duration of his career with the WWE, so this sudden change in opinion makes no sense for him.
Secondly, Cole's reality is not twisted, or even slightly bent. He just seems to ignore common sense, which any person can tell you is just plain annoying. Paul Heyman had a reason to root for the bad guys; he had something to gain if they won. Jerry Lawler rooted for the bad guys because he understood their way of thinking, being a career heel himself (outside of Memphis of course). Cole has nothing to gain in rooting for a heel, nor does he have any reason to relate to what they're doing. He is just rooting for the heels because... he likes them? Why does he like them? Because they're heels? I'm sorry, I need something more convincing than that Cole. Next.
Thirdly, Cole's opinions just don't make sense. He hates anyone who has a following on the internet, yet he loves The Miz? He doesn't like little guys, but where are his negative comments when Evan Bourne hits the ring? Why doesn't he rip on Mysterio during PPVs? He calls The Miz's tactics brilliant, but is disgusted by the tactics of Nexus and other heels. Heel commentators are no strangers to hypocrisy, certainly, but most at least try to justify it. Cole leaves his addressed.
So what makes Jesse Ventura different from all the rest? What makes him better? It's quite simple really. It's the fact that Jesse Ventura is fucking crazy. The guy is clearly a little loony, and that's the mark of the good heel commentator, you need to be living in your own little world. In Jesse Ventura's world, the mark of a good wrestler is not skill or honesty or being over with the crowd, it's being sneaky and not caring what people think of you. To Jesse Ventura, everyone is always out to get you, which is why you should never trust anyone. To Jesse Ventura, relying on others for any sort of support is a sign of weakness (unless it's your manager, whom you pay to help you be sneaky), and making friends is just as great an affront.
Don't believe me? Have you listened to him commentate for more than a few seconds? And furthermore, have you watched him in non-wrestling related interviews? The dude is fucking nuts. I don't think there's a conspiracy theory he doesn't buy into, and I'm pretty sure he's living in the mountains of Venezuela or something (I heard him talk on Real Time with Bill Maher, and he said something about living with very little means.) I happen to agree with many of Ventura's political positions, but the dude has no filter, and goes about expressing his opinions in some pretty crazy ways, including through some pretty bizarre books, appearances on biased television shows (as I said, he's appear on Real Time as well as on many Fox News programs, covering both sides of the political spectrum), and has been known to give some pretty intense rants on the radio. If he's not crazy, he's at least not entirely socially adept.
And what can we say about Michael Cole except that he's a mild mannered but rude guy who has no real opinion on anything, but makes his likes and dislikes known.
And that is the difference between Jesse Ventura and Michael Cole. Ventura gave some background to his character, he lived his character, he made us believe that he IS that character. Michael Cole is just a voice that comes from our television.
Please...this is a man who has a degree in educational psychology and played a heel teacher as his wrestling gimmick. The psychology part is what he uses to get a rise, and I'm pretty sure creative knows that he knows how to use it to the advantage. Besides, I think that WWE/and Striker and Grisham are pretty well hip to the IWC as Mr. Striker has mentioned in previous commentaries on SD and Superstar comments before. Its done simply to get a rise outta people and to get buzz surrounding them again. There's the saying that "There's no such thing as bad publicity." Besides, aside from being a TOTAL Striker mark (and those who know me well on here will vouch for me) but these people are not as dumb as they play on tv. This is an acting job. Besides, why maybe people may have overlooked when Striker referenced a popular lexicon when Cody Rhodes would do his finisher on Christian a few weeks ago, as Rhodes sets up a weakened Christian for 'Cross-Rhodes' Strikers says and I quote "I got down on my knees and was taken to the crossroads" (Which is a line from the Bone Thugs in Harmony song Cross Roads...being used as a double entendre.) This is simply done to just keep things entertaining and I think it wasn't meant to "Encourage drug use" or anything like that. I think anyone reading THAT much into it has WAY too much time on their hands and especially with Mrs. McMahon's senate bid and the newer family friendly WWE, they are aware that some things may slip by, but still aware that there is a certain element of adult that needs to be kept to try to keep viewers around, and that some things, no matter how much you try to watch what you say, will never come out sounding right.