MD 54: Hunter Kravinoff, Barbosa & Baez vs. Gordito, Big Dave & Dr. Steven Kurtesy

[Phoenix]

With the deadly Elimination Chamber just looming around the corner, Chuck Myles decided it was time for the six competitors to become more familiar with each other in a six man tag match. Now while all of these men will have their eyes on the prize awaiting for them at Kingdom Come, will they be able to hold their desire aside and work in separate teams in order to get the final push of momentum heading into the Chamber? It's no secret a number of personal issues have come up in the wait to this match, so expect some brutality in this warm up match.

Deadline is Tuesday 15th March 23:59 EST

 

[Барбоса]

*Barbosa and Kravinoff are making their way back to their locker room after being victorious over Titus and Everest. Barbosa is clearly in a manic phase and excited about what has just gone on in the ring. Kravinoff is much more stoic and contemplative as if he is not surprised by their victory at all.*

Manic: Wow! That was a lot of fun! Did you see how we landed on our feet and then… WHOOSH!! we threw Titus up into the air to land on his head? Gee… We hope he can remember the lines for his next movie! I would love to see him act alongside Mila! And then… and then… SPLAT!! We dropped Everest on his head too and got the pin!

Kravinoff: Don't you mean I got the pin on Everest…?

Manic: Oh… yes, of course. Funky! You pinned the legend. Still, it was a lot of fun.

Kravinoff: It was inevitable. I told you that Titus was not ready for the likes of us and that Everest is no longer on our level.

Manic: You did say that! Boy, you really are clever!

Kravinoff: A simple case of measuring the abilities of our opponents, comparing them to our own and realising that the balance was firmly tipped to our side. Elementary, my dear Barbie.

*Kravinoff continues smirking, clearly pleased with himself while Manic Barbosa is almost in awe of his companion as they enter their locker to find Klamor just finishing up watching Black Swan.*

Manic: Inspirational, isn't it?

Klamor: It inspired me to go use the lavatory. What a waste of my precious time!

Manic: Why… why do you say that?

Klamor: It is a terrible movie! Aside from that love scene there is nothing good about it. Portman is as rigid as she was as Dalailama or whatever her name was and do not get me started on Mila Kunis…

Manic: WHAT?!? *cough*

Klamor: Mila Kunis is an untalented hack. Why? Do you not agree?

Manic: Agree? AGREE?!?

The Smoker: *cough cough* You cannot let him away with that…

*Kravinoff looks at the mumbling Barbosa who seems to talking to Klamor and to himself at the same time. Klamor does not seem to notice.*

Kravinoff: I must respectfully disagree, Mr Klamor. Ms. Kunis' performance in Black Swan is excellent and in her other work she has proven herself to be an actress of vast scope and talent.

Klamor: Oh please! Her movie appearances are a hotch-potch of bit parts and butchered roles.

Manic: Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

*Barbosa doubles over with a wracking cough.*

The Smoker: *cough cough* Do something about this! Defend your heroine! Use our skills! DO IT!

*Klamor, immursed in defending his corner, again seems oblivious to this. Kravinoff on the other hand takes a step away from Klamor and Barbosa while continuing the argument.*

Kravinoff: I must respectfully disagree again, Mr Klamor. Ms Kunis' filmography is so varied, including animation, comedy, action, thriller and music, as to appeal to a wide range of audience and she has received a large number of awards and nominations for her work. Indeed, I would contend that her work on That 70s Show is one of the finest small screen performances of the last 25 years.

Klamor: Oh come on… She is only 'popular' because she has expressed an interest in War of Worldcraft. I mean there is a reason why her most famous role is that of an animated awkward girl in a mode of perpetual humiliation.

The Smoker: GET HIM!

Manic: AHHHH! I WARNED YOU TO STOP!

*Overtaken by primal rage, Manic Barbosa leaps towards Klamor and bashes his head repeated on the film projector before stepping back. A still conscious Klamor begins to crawl away. Kravinoff stands watching with his arms folded.*

The Smoker: That is not enough…

Manic: IT INSPIRED YOU TO USE THE TOILET, DID IT JONNY? WELL, LET ME HELP YOU FIND IT!!

*Barbosa grabs Klamor and drags him into the bathroom of the locker room and sticks his bloodied face down the toilet and flushes it, occasionally bringing Klamor back to the surface to scream at him some more.*

Manic: Do you see what happens, Jonny? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU INSULT OUR INSPIRATION? Do you see what happens, Jonny? DO YOU INSULT OUR INSPIRATION?!?

*Barbosa releases his prey but even slumped beside the porcelain bowl, the gasping, bloodied and soaking wet Klamor does not know when to keep his mouth shut.*

Klamor: You *gasp gasp* are a frigging psychopath!

The Smoker: Finish him…

*Barbosa then begins kicking Klamor almost as if he is performing some sort of ballet.*

Manic: Nobody talks down to us anymore! Nobody better get in our way!

Not that traitorous Doctor Kurtsey who claimed to be our friend, claimed to be helping us but proved to be only out for himself by stealing our idea!

Not Average David with his delusions of grandeur and his lying, twisted bitch of a sister!

Not that nice guy Gordito who was nice to us but then ruined our chances of getting a nice big shiny belt!

And that masked onion ring fuelled idiot! If he thinks we are the same competitor that he stole a victory from all those weeks ago, then he is even more of a masked, onion ring fuelled idiot than we thought!

NO ONE!

WE ARE GOING TO WIN KING FOR A DAY AND THEN WE WILL BE CROWNED AS THE BLACK SWAN!

*In mid rant, Barbosa suddenly slows down, his hyperactivity drains away and his shoulders slump but when turns back to Kravinoff, there is still some fire in his eyes.*

Depressive: That includes you too, you jumped up, philosophy spouting babysitter… Do not think that we have not seen your machinations. You are just lucky that right now our aims for this "alliance" intersect but once they diverge when we are the final two competitors left inside the Chamber at Kingdom Come all bets are off and you, like the good Doctor Kurtsey, will need to be ready to deal with your punishment for thinking you could manipulate us…

*Barbosa turns around and lands one last kick to the downed Klamor before turning back to Kravinoff again, who now has a somewhat perturbed look on his face.*

Manic: Shall we go? The show starts soon so we have no time to change.

*Kravinoff does not answer, seemingly contemplating the message he has just been given by his erstwhile partner.*

Manic: Hey, is something wrong? Come on, we camped out for ages to get us these tickets for the pre-release showing of Mila's new film. You can tell us about your plan for our next match on the way. We cannot wait to hear it.

*Kravinoff emerges from his thoughts at the mention of their destination.*

Kravinoff: Ah yes, I would not miss it for the world. To the cinema!

*Barbosa grabs his bag and runs out of the room, giddy as a school girl as if nothing had happened. Kravinoff also grabs his bags but retains a slight look of uneasiness as his scans the dishevelment that his partner's rampage has caused with Klamor's legs poking out through the bathroom door.*

Kravinoff: It may not be Freudian but it would appear that the philosophy of Keep your friends close and your enemies closer might be the order of the next week or two…

 

[Viola Moonlight]

Light murmurs, clocks ticking, phones ringing, disgusting bodily functions spontaneously occurring... it never ceases to amaze Sandy Deserts that this infamous routine continues to haunt her time working at Kurtesy's Klinic. It almost feels like yesterday that Sandy remembers herself sitting in the exact same spot behind the reception desk thinking about such things... but there is one thought that has become a reality. About two weeks ago, her boss and head psychiatrist, Dr. Steven Kurtesy, left for an extended business trip to Australia to deliver multiple lectures to aspiring University students wishing to try their hand in the field of psychology. In his absence, the one dream she had, besides wrestling, was achieved as Kurtesy appointed her as his replacement... equipped with her qualifications she had earned over the years, Kurtesy officially signed her off to give her a name title: Dr. Sandy Deserts. Ever since, she has been working hard to impress both her patients and her staff.

Sandy stopped staring into space as she realised she was being watched. She grabs the next patient's file and begins to proceed through the staff door into the waiting room.

Sorry, I was day-dreaming again!

Pondering is such a useful tool, isn't it? Doctor?

She stops dead in her tracks as Sandy is startled by that familiar voice. She turns around to see Steven Kurtesy standing behind her, fresh from his trip of Down Under, still dressed to work. He stands there smiling, arms open as Sandy turns around and eventually gives him a welcoming hug.

How was the outback, Jack?

Steven chuckles.

Unfortunately dear, I was nowhere near those beautiful rolling wastelands. How's our esteemed patients treating you?

You get a couple of doozies, but I'm loving every second of this. Thank you again, Steven... bloody hell, you gave me a shock when you answered me back! Funny thing though, you weren't the first person to do so today. You've got someone who wants to see you.

Baffled, Steven looks at Sandy with curiosity as he waits for her to continue.

He's in your office. I don't know how he found out what time and date you came back, but when he walked through those doors, I knew something was up.

Who is it?

You'd be better off discovering for yourself.

Confused, Steven walks through the staff door around the side, down the corridor to his office. The walkway seems longer than usual as Steven tries to formulate who would want to see him this badly. Has he waited all day for him? What was the urgency that he had to specifically see him in person? He makes it to the end and opens the door slowly, revealing his office... curtains opened with the windows up, letting in a cool breeze. Everything seems normal until he sees a familiar man looking through his liquor cabinet. He quietly closes the door and approaches the man.

Excuse me, may I help you?

Nah, thanks. I'm just browsing.

The man turns around smiling, revealing himself to be the Dirty One, Gordito. Steven is almost in shock as Gordito turns back to continue viewing the alcohol. It feels like forever, but Steven remembers the encounters that Gordito and he used to have as bitter enemies... back when his friend, Steven Holmes, joined the Crashin Movement and they stole the Mayhem Championship. It was a chaotic time to say the least... but why was this man in his presence? He had so many queries he wanted to ask.

You know, I'm loving this collection, baby. It's giving me some ideas for the Sludge Pit... 65 year old scotch? Man, you're definitely living the lifestyle!

Steven lets out a grin and a small laugh.

That was actually given to me by a good friend of mine who owns an underground bottle shop back home as a 21st present, when it was still affordable. Have a guess what it's worth now.

Too much?

Steven nods as the two gaze at the bottle for a few seconds before turning to each other.

It's been a while, hasn't it?

Time heals all wounds, my friend. A lot of things have changed since then, and I don't want an old grudge to resurface. We were young and stupid back then. I feel it's time to bury the hatchet and let that whole thing go. It's the reason why I'm here.

He extends a hand out to Steven, but he cautiously looks at him.

Why now? Why not a month before?

Like I said, many things have changed. A friend of mine who I used to fight alongside to defend our very way of life by taking you down, a person who spat on everything we stood for, has betrayed me and taken everything we have done, and smashed it to pieces. Now? I find myself on the other side of the ring to him whilst I team with the men I fought against, and it makes me realise... you were never a bad man. You are a good noble man, doing good noble things, and that's someone I'd love to see representing our community, y'know?

Steven takes in a deep breath as he knows Gordito is speaking from the heart.

Let's not ask any more questions, man... and please, don't me hanging.

Gordito looks down to his outstretched arm still waiting for Steven, who only notices then and the two men shake hands. Gordito gives a grin as they make amends. Steven pulls Gordito closer and the two embrace in a hug with their hands still clasped together. Gordito becomes a little shocked by this.

I apologise, for everything.

For what it's worth, me too.

The two pull away and give one final shake before parting hands, feeling both relieved that their pasts have been flushed away and awkward due to the amount of man-love that has been shown between each other in such a short time-frame.

So, I heard you mention something about us taking on Baez back there. What was all that about?

You don't know?

I've been away for a couple of weeks... that's why I wasn't around for a while.

Oh, well... here is the other reason why I came to visit. We've got ourselves a tag team match together, baby. It's the Barbosa family, the Killjoy of friendships and the Freudian slip... against the good doctor, who will be teaming up with the Dirty One... and the x-factor, Big Dave. I just wanted to know if we were on the same page before we could face them.

What about Big Dave?

He's not the easiest cat to get in contact with. That guy's slipperier than grease on a stripper's pole.

Good thing you came to see me first, and so early. I know I'm not supposed to mention anything to outside parties concerning the doctor-patient confidentiality laws we psychiatrists keep enforced, but Big Dave has visited these offices before and left me his contact details. I'm able to get a hold of him, but it won't be until a later date. Last time he showed up here, he got bombarded with people trying to gain autographs and interviews, so he won't agree to a meeting here. We'll need somewhere where people won't recognise or distract him.

Gordito smiles as Steven tries to think. He looks up at the Dirty One who points to himself.

I know just the place.

Steven nods in agreement.

All I need to know is when.

The night before Meltdown.

Done... here.

Steven hands over one of his business cards.

Just in case something comes up, you can call my offices and they'll put you directly through to me.

Thanks, friend. Here, take mine too, since we are exchanging presents.

Gordito does the same to Steven.

It feels like Christmas comes early, doesn't it?

Speaking of Christmas and presents...

Kurtesy grabs the bottle of scotch they were looking at before.

I want you to have this, to signal the start of a new era for us.

Gordito admires the bottle before offering it back.

I appreciate it, baby, but I can't accept this! It's too much.

I insist... it's the least I can do after I stole that Mayhem Title off you guys.

They shake hands once more.

Thanks man... I guess I'll see you at the Sludge Pit, then?

Indeed... I'll let you know what the situation is with Big Dave.

The two of them bid farewell, with Gordito leaving the office. Steven stands there for a moment smiling before closing the liquor cabinet. He heads over to his patients records and pulls out a file named "David Bail." He sits down, picks up the phone and begins ringing the number provided.

Hey Dani, it's Dr. Steven Kurtesy! Can I speak with Dave, please?

 

[Phoenix]

The scene opens on a warm sunny day, the sun is beaming through a small gathering of clouds on an open grassy area, somewhere in someone’s back garden, faint sounds of a soft oriental music seems to accompany the scene as we witness the familiar figure of Big Dave performing Tai Chi. His concentration is focused on the martial art is unchallenged as he appears one with the scenery, the sunlight casting a serene outline of his figure as he moves from one position to another.

Dave!

Dave breaks out of focus as Dani stands near the house holding the phone, he doesn’t look impressed and sighs before going up towards her.

It's Kurtesy.

Again? And what did I tell you before about this?

Sorry...he said it was important!

Dave takes the phone as Dani passes him some orange juice.

Hello?

Dave, I apologise if I've interrupted anything important.

...It's ok, I just finished. Now what do you want?

Well, I just had Gordito in the office...

And you want me to meet up to discuss whether we're on level terms for our match this coming Meltdown?

Correct!

Dave sips some of his orange juice before pacing around on the patio.

Then the simple method of telling you not to get in my way is the best one I can think of, no need to arrange the meeting. See you at...

Hold on there Dave. Look, I know we have our differences, sure the last time you were here didn't go fully well as expected, not to mention that you have reason to not like Gordito, I understand that. But you need to understand our perspective.

You both want to survive until getting into the Chamber, if I'm thinking then all five of us are thinking it. Savour as much as possible while getting as much damage on the opposition to make the night easier.

That might be it on simple terms but it's rather more to discuss the issues that we might have going into this. And trust me Gordito has been thinking this too, he's been trying to get in touch.

I'm sure a call like this in a violation of my rights and confidentiality Steven.

Far from it.

I wouldn't be talking to you right now if it wasn't the case. Plus how can I trust that you haven't had words with Gordito about me in your office?

Dave, I'm a professional, I have the diplomas to prove it.

Fine then. So suppose I come what can I expect?

Trust.

Dave gives a frowning expression at the response.

Right.

Dave, I want us to work as a team, you know how to do that. We're both long reigning Tag Champions, our two credentials alone add to the fact we can get ourselves a boost before Kingdom Come. We want to work this as all for one, one for all, no ifs, ands or buts. We go in together and walk out together.

He considers the options.

I'll hear you two out. When?

The night before Meltdown, we're meeting at...

The Sludge Pit, it was expected.

Good stuff, I'll see you there!

Kurtesy hangs up as does Dave, who looks out into the distance before sipping another part of his juice. Dani comes back out to consult her brother.

So...what did he want?

He wants me to meet him and Gordito to set the record straight before Meltdown/

And you're actually going?

I've considered not to, but then, with Kingdom Come around the corner, this gives me the best advantage.

How?

Knowing what my partners expect out of this situation and out of me. They're playing this one close to the chest, I got a chance to see their hands. It's not going to be enough though.

He sips more of his juice as Dani sits on a nearby chair.

Well it only takes care of half the battle.

In some ways yes and no. Barbosa, Kravinoff and Baez are expected to have one goal in mind, it's Gordito and Kurtesy that I should be more mindful of. Friends close, enemies closer.

A good policy to live by! Say, speaking of friends, are you going to visit him soon?

Of course, I've not forgotten about it.

It has been a while.

For certain, but I'll never forget and I will see him soon.

I'm glad to hear it. So when you say in some ways yes, what do you mean?

I've considered what I told you the other day and I think that's the only thing I can consider as an option to get myself prepared for Kingdom Come.

You can't be serious?

What would you have me do? Meltdown is already unpredictable with one eye on the match, the other eye on Kingdom Come, I need to make sure I'm ready so once Meltdown is out of the way, my focus is purely on Kingdom Come!

I understand Dave, but I really wish you wouldn't go through with this idea.

Well, I haven't gone through it yet, who knows, maybe something else crops up. Until then, I think the main thing I need to do is get my errands done and set aside a bar tab of $500.

Why so much?

I need something to help ease spending time in that place with them and not wanting to crack their heads with a chair.

Dave downs the rest of his orange juice before heading inside as the scene fades out.

 

[ABMorales787]

The scene opens at a gym in an undisclosed city. Where we spot Baez on a bench lifting weights. Alisha is his spotter.

Alisha: How can you be such a jerk? It's unbelievable. I try to help you make friends. It's my job as your social relations consultant. But you just can't make it easy for me, can you? You think that because we're friends, you can do whatever the hell you want.

As Alisha continues, Baez continues his bench presses completely ignoring her.

Alisha: When Gordito came along, you welcomed him with open arms. Now you chokehold him with a tight grip. What is it with you? When are you gonna get your act together? You have a major match coming up and you keep losing every major match you're in. There is no way you can keep going like this. You have...

Baez: SHADDAP!!

Baez lays down his weights and quickly stands up. He stands by Alisha with an intimidating stance and walks up to her.

Baez: You nag and you nag and you nag and you nag and you just won't stop. I'm freakin' sick of it! Shaddap already! I may have a crummy attitude, but you sure as hell aren't making things any easier.

Alisha has a sad look on her face.

Baez: You know I'm right. You can't be that blind. I could be as friendly as I want. But how on Earth does that advance my career? What I'm doing is opening eyes. Open your's. Quit living in the fantasy land. Did you see me going anywhere by being nice?


Alisha: You are the most successfull...

Baez: Mayhem Division. Always with that. Anything outside of it? The EurAsian Champion? Elite X? Lethal Lottery? I failed at it all. Good God, I could've aimed a basketball to hit a hoop the size of a pool and I would still somehow miss. I've been nice enough. It's obvious something had to change.

As Baez finishes, Johnny Klamor walks in with a mic and cameraman at hand. He quickly heads to Baez and shakes his hand.

Klamor: Well hello. Johnny Klamor. Ace reporter and journalist for WZCW at your service.


Baez: What the hell are you doing here?

Klamor: We learned you were here. So I came as soon as I could.

Baez: What the? Is there a tracking device in me I should be aware of?

Klamor: Not a clue. But what are your thoughts on your match at Meltdown this week? You team with Kravinoff and Barbosa to face Big Dave, Dr. Kurtesy and Gordito.

Baez: What is it with my thoughts? People always wanna know my thoughts. Go hire a damn gypsy and leave me the hell alone.



Klamor: Listen, I don't like interviewing you any more than you do. But I need to make money, so get answering. You lost to Blade. You lost to Big Dave. You lost to Gordito and Austin. You lost two days in a row.

Baez: Shaddap!! Let me ask YOU something. Who's still in King For A Day?

Klamor: You.

Baez: Who put Kurtesy on a stretcher several months ago?

Klamor: You.

Baez: Who in this group beat Barbosa?

Klamor: You. I think.

Baez: Don't think. Know. Who was the first to hand Big Dave a defeat?

Klamor: Um... he beat...

Baez: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK! Dave and Kurt are in limbo focusing on much of nothing! Gordito has to watch his back every week knowing that I'm out to "save" him and Kravin and Barbosa are out probably replicating the disgusting stuff shown in that Black Duck...

Klamor: Swan.

Baez: DUCK!! Shaddap! Don't interrupt me! You get the point. Meanwhile, I'm here getting ready. See, maybe I have been losing my matches. But I haven't lost this war. The ends justify the means. I may have lost twice last week. But that won't hinder my stellar performance at Kingdom Come. None of them have what I have.

Klamor: What do you have?

Baez: I'll save that for another occasion. Right now, I... I don't know what to talk about.

Klamor: I have a clip that might stimulate your willy brain a bit. Hey, you! Put this on.

Klamor hands a DVD to some guy who then plays it on a DVD player and TV perched in a corner.

We go backstage with Becky Serra standing by with Baez.

Becky: I'm here with Baez, who's had a personal issue with Gordito as of late. Baez, what is your problem with him?

Baez: It's very simple Becky, tonight is the perfect example of what I"m talking about. Reynolds or Constantine could have picked me to fight in their Pick Your Posion match, but no, look who Reynolds picks, Gordito. Every time an opportunity rises for a big match, Gordito gets picked instead of me. I'm sick of being over looked for a loser like him.

Becky: I guess that sums it up. What are your feelings on the King for a Day match? You have some stiff competition including the previously mentioned Gordito and your opponent tonight Big Dave.

Baez: Since I've never been handed anything on a silver platter, I'm going into the King for a Day match, and I'm earning my shot at the WZCW World Heavyweight Title. I can't sit around and wait to be handed something like Gordito, I have to earn it. As far as Big Dave is concerned, he cost me the win in the Lethal Lottery. My nose is still crooked from the Stamp of Authority he gave me. And yet, Dave is a perfect example, he's earned everything he's got so far, the Tag Team Titles, the Eurasian Title, even the ass kicking he's about to get from me in a few moments.

Becky: But wasn't it Gordito who handed you your King for a Day sp....

Baez: What so one time I get handed something suddenly I'm a hypocrite Becky? Is that it!?!?! We're done here.

Baez walks off as Becky is taken back by Baez's outburst. Gordito walks into the picture and looks at Becky.

Gordito: Well someone didn't get their onion rings today.

He walks off as the screen goes to black.

Baez: ...Swell. You see what I mean? He passes a perfect chance to reap some revenge. So instead he cracks a joke about the damn onion rings. You know what? That stupidity reminds me of someone. Someone just like Gordito. Hell, he even does the same thing Gordito has been doing lately?

Alisha: Oh no... This horse has been beaten beyond dead already.

Klamor: What?

Baez: Win.

Alisha facepalms.

Klamor: What?!

Baez: Yeah! Winning. Gordito wins. He wins here. He wins there. He won last week. He won some time before that. He won when some skank came up to him yesterday at his sludge pit. He won when he zipped alcohol 'till he decided to piss on his hamper. He wins.

Klamor: Charlie Sheen?

Baez: No, Lindsay Lohan you moron. What century do you think I'm on? Of course I'm talking about Charlie Sheen, you dumbass. Who else goes around drunk saying he's winning at nothing?

Klamor: Gordito?

Baez: Ah, good. You're catching on, boy. See, here's the thing, Sheen and Fatty may be "winning" now, but what happens later? They'll crash and burn. That's how their kind works. All this hype build around something that should be negative and is made to look positive. But when it's time to act up, they fall flat and fall into obscurity. So go ahead. Keep on winning, Gordito. I'll be over here ready to watch you go down in a blaze of drunk and drugged up glory. 2 in one week. HA! And I'll be so happy to see Dave go down with the ship. He owes me and I will get back at him for last week. Shame about Kurtesy though. He always gets caught in the crossfire. Ah well. Hahahahahahahahaha!! Now "amscree" boy. I've got a major match to prepare for.

Baez gets back on his bench and begins lifting weights again. We can see Alisha berating him again, but the audio has been cut off.

 

[Coco]

*Several days have passed since Hunter Kravinoff stood idly by and watched as Barbosa assaulted Johnny Klamor. The Ugandan Wildman and the Tripolar, Tri-winning Superstar, each adorned in their ring gear and a Kingdom Come t-shirt, are standing on the apron of the ring several hours before a WZCW house show. As Sigmund Freud looks on at ringside, the hustle and bustle of stagehands can be heard at the distant edges of the auditorium. A single spotlight over the ring is the main source of light in the arena. Both men standing at one corner as though an imaginary tag match is taking place in the vacant ring, Kravinoff meets the eyes of Barbosa and nods as both men jump to the floor simultaneously. Barbosa begins to hop, unable to contain his excitement, a stark contrast to the uncharacteristically subdued Kravinoff.*

Manic: Oh my gosh, that was perfect! Our timing is getting so good! Didn’t you like how our feet hit the floor at the same time, Hunt?! Didn’t you?!

*Kravinoff, seemingly trapped in thought, takes a moment to register the question and formulate a response.*

Kravinoff: Yeah, it’s getting better.

*The resident of Medicine Hat feigns a warm smile but Barbosa isn’t buying it.*

Manic: Something’s wrong, isn’t it?! I can tell something’s wrong! When we formulated this strategy after Ascension last week, you were so excited about spending the day with me and choreographing our big moment!

Kravinoff: Sorry, Barbie. My publicist and I had a rough falling out yesterday and we’ve decided to see other people.

Manic: Oh no! We’re so sorry!

*Barbosa twitches before responding gleefully.*

The Smoker: No, we’re not all sorry.

*This gains Kravinoff’s attention as the Classical Freudian stares curiously at his tag team partner.*

Kravinoff: Run that one by me again, broheim.

*Barbosa twitches once more before repeating himself with more emphasis than he previously spoke with, seemingly attempting to manipulate Kravinoff.*

Depressive: Oh no.

We’re so sorry.

*Kravinoff nods in acknowledgement of the sentiment before pressing on.*

Kravinoff: Yeah, it turns out my little fling with you last week was the final straw. Beating Titus and Everest wasn’t getting the positive reception I told him it would and he finally told me off for not understanding how to get people on my side. Prick…

*The Manic seems taken aback by his new friend’s malicious name-calling. He would expect it directed at a WZCW rival, but never a mere civilian.*

Manic: That’s mean!

Kravinoff: I know, right? I was also surprised by his lack of sensitivity to my learning curve. But that’s okay. I have you. And when we’re the final two men in the King For A Day match, he’s going to be beating himself up for letting a prospect like me get away.

*Kravinoff, oblivious as ever to the point someone else is trying to make, smiles a little wider than he has all day and signals for a high five. The childish Manic gladly responds before something takes him over and holds onto Kravinoff’s hand in a forceful manner.*

The Smoker: Explain to me one more time why this plan is so brilliant. Would you, “buddy”?

*Kravinoff backs away and breaks Barbosa’s grip before nodding.*

Kravinoff: Sure thing.

At Meltdown, we’re going to jump from the apron when Baez needs us the most and leave him without partners. This plan is twofold. First, we weaken Baez severely before Kingdom Come.

Depressive: Stop right there. Why would we throw Baez to a three on one slaying? Doesn’t that just open the door to him being replaced in the King For A Day match by someone equally capable of winning?

Kravinoff: Not a chance. No matter how much of an ass kicking Baez takes on Meltdown, there’s no way he’s going to let injuries or the advice of his doctors keep him from Kingdom Come. The man is fueled by an overwhelming jealously of Gordito, and the only way he can feebly attempt to satiate those feelings is by showing up at Kingdom Come and gorging on main event level competition. So as you can see, in this match it’s most logical for us to make a 127 Hours style sacrifice in order to keep ourselves alive and in the running at the biggest show of the year.

*Barbosa considers this for a moment before nodding.*

Depressive: And what’s the second way in which this strategy is beneficial to us?

Kravinoff: Ah, that’s the really beautiful part. You see, there’s no way that win over Baez does anything good for our opposition. Such momentum heading into Kingdom Come could overinflate the egos of our competitors. There might also be bickering within the team over who should pick the bones and get a piece of Baez. Gordito has his deep seeded, onion ring fueled grudge against our masked partner while Dave and Kurtesy need something to make themselves feel important. Not to mention that Dave is probably still harboring resentment at both members of his team because they’ve had World Championship matches before he has. There’s just a wealth of volatile elements on that team. We should be conserving our strength for Kingdom Come while our four opponents do all they can to assert themselves before the big night.

Couple all of that with the fact that this is finally going to get people to recognize that I'm a strategic mastermind, a thinking man's wrestler, more than some dumb animal, and it's clear that this is the right course of action.

*Barbosa thinks it over briefly, doing his best to ignore the delusional ramblings at the tail end of Kravinoff's explanation.*

Depressive: Your logic is sound. But in the chamber, you’re ours, monkey man.

*Kravinoff responds to the hostility of the Depressive with a chipper, witless smile.*

Kravinoff: Of course I’m yours, buddy. We’re going to be the last two guys in the match, aren’t we?

*Barbosa shifts violently between poles before Kravinoff signals for another high five. Barbosa responds with renewed enthusiasm and goes for the high five.*

Manic: Heck yes, we are!

*The crack of flesh meeting flesh rings through the arena as both men smile warmly at one another. This lasts only a moment, however, as Barbosa is soon scowling at his partner in crime.*

The Smoker: I don’t like backing away from a fight. You know that, right, Tarzan?

Kravinoff: No worries, brudda. When we jump off the apron, we can fold our arms in sync and stare with malice at Baez. Wanna practice our timing on arm folding after the jump?

The Smoker: No, I don’t! You might be loving all this pro-social human contact because you’re a simple, highly neglected Neanderthal, but I’m better than this!

*Kravinoff looks highly dismayed by this outburst.*

Kravinoff: Where’s this coming from? Where’s the innocent, fun loving young man I was having such a good time with earlier?

*Even though Kravinoff didn’t mean it in such a literal sense, Barbosa twitches once more before smiling eagerly.*

Manic: Who, me?!

*Kravinoff nods as both men high five once more and climb up to the apron. Under their breath, they each count to three. At the end of the count, they jump off the apron in sync and fold their arms, staring back with malice at the imaginary Baez who’s laying in the ring, shocked and helpless.*

Kravinoff: Nice.

Manic: We’re so cool!

*Just then, a rumble in the darkness can be heard approaching Kravinoff and Barbosa. As it comes into the light, Kravinoff and Barbosa see a stagehand pushing a merchandise cart chatting excitedly with Baez! Shocked by this development, Kravinoff turns on his heel, grabs Freud, and runs into the distance.*

Kravinoff: Run, Barbie! We can’t let Baez find out we’re plotting against him!

*Barbosa looks on with an expression of confusion as Kravinoff bolts out of the auditorium. Turning back to the stagehand and Baez, it becomes immediately clear that the Ugandan Wildman’s exit was a little too hasty. Baez removes his mask and places it with several identical masks on the merchandise cart, revealing himself to be just another stagehand.*

Manic: I really like Hunt, but he’s kind of crazy!

 

[DirtyJosé]

[The front door to The Sludge Pit opens. It's clearly daylight outside. Jack Ruin looks up from where he stands at the bar doing small chores around the place to see Gordito waltz in, a small black bag in one hand.]

Jack: Well, look who's finally got his head above ground…

[Gordito is dressed casually, and looks more full of energy than usual. He wastes little time in grabbing a bottle of water from behind the bar. He then has a seat on the bar itself, placing the little black bag next to him.]

Gordito: Yeah…sorry Jack. I've just been go go go this last week or so.

You're telling me. You haven't been by here in almost all of that time. Are you ok, Jefe?

Ok? I can't remember ever feeling better!

[Jack's face betrays his confusion. Gordito notices this.]

Look at me, baby! I'm the best shape I've ever been in. I've get to do what I love for a living. I gave Showtime a run for his money before Ty went nutso on him. I've got a nice stalker who's always trying to show me that he cares, and, best of all, I'm on my way to being KING FOR A DAY! Oh, that, and also…

[Gordito opens the little black bag to reveal a bottle of Scotch.]

This is for the private reserves. Let's call it a gift from an old friend.

[He passes off the bottle to Jack, who stills seems a little put off by Gordito's demeanor.]

Jack, I've been trying new things, and new people…or even trying new ways of viewing people I've already known. I've even started taking Yoga classes!

…Yoga?

Yoga, dude. Once you get past all the noxious gasses, it's really a great experience. Once I get a chance to, I was thinking about asking Wasabi for some help with meditating...

…Dude, what's going on with you?

[Jack walks up and grabs Gordito by his cheeks and shakes him almost violently.]

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY BEST FRIEND!?!?!

[Gordito chuckles as Jack releases his grip.]

Jacky Baby, relax. I'm me. Always will be. No one can ever change that. I'm just…

[Gordito jumps down from the bar.]

I let this Baez thing get the best of me. I let that worm get into my thinking. And that affected everything else. For even just one moment, that little parasite got me to doubt myself. But that didn't last long.

[Gordito reaches under the bar to grab a bottle of water, then he steps around from behind the bar to take a seat on one of the stools.]

I realized that I never really set many goals when I got here. I had a few, but they were so….loose. I love the fans. I love the folk who wait for me each night after each show. But now it's time for me to break through that ceiling Baez keeps talking about. I've been here almost a year. I've come up from being a rookie Mayhem chump to overnight World Title contender sensation. Now it's time for me to leave my mark...my crack...in the foundation of WZCW history. King for a Day, Jack. My shot at being more than just a WZCW star. My shot at being the stuff of legends. King for a Day. And on that note, I'll be having guests tonight.

The usual? Ha! I knew you couldn't have changed too much.

No, not the usual. This isn't a social call. This is business.

Oh.

Yeah. No WZCW cameras. No Becky Serra on location. We're trying to keep this low key.

...No problem. Seems like it's going to be a slow night anyway.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
​

[We cut to The Sludge Pit later in the night. There is a crowd, but it seems rather pacified compared to the crowds that can usually fill the place up. People enjoy their drinks and their company tonight. As we survey the bar, we find Kurtesy and Gordito sitting in a far corner by the stage. They are in conversation, and every once in awhile their laughter can be heard.]

Right, so then he remembers being in a room. And he remembers seeing two cops in front of him. So he leans over to a guy sitting next to him and is like "Hey, I think those are cops, man". And the guy sitting next to him? His arresting officer, who was glad to hear that he was sobering up.

Ah yes. The effects of hallucinogens on the human mind have been well documented. They do have the tendency to leave one open to outside influence.

I know, right? 5 years later, I bet that's the last time he listens to someone who tells him he should get naked in public!

[Both men start to chuckle until Kurtesy notices they have a guest approaching them.]

I believe the third member of our team has arrived.

[Big Dave emerges from the crowd at the front of the bar. Jack is pointing him towards their table in the back. Gordito and Kurtesy stand to greet him, as Gordito also flags down a waitress to prepare some drinks.]

Thank you for honoring our request for your presence, Dave. You've made the right choice.

Choice? I've "chosen" to meet you two tonight in much the same way I've "chosen" to be a part of this team on Meltdown.

[Dave's eyes move from Kurtesy to Gordito.]

But it is in my best interest to hear what you have to say.

[Gordito has shifted his attention from the waitress preparing shots to Dave.]

...Hi Dave. Glad you could make it. Make yourself at home, baby. It's on me tonight.

[Dave stares at him intently for a few moments before Kurtesy begins.]

Well then, let's get down to business.

[All three take their seat at the table.]

Though at Kingdom Come we will be enemies, tomorrow night we are allies. I believe this is a marvelous opportunity to put us three at an advantage once the big day arrives.

So what is your big plan then?

Teamwork. The buddy system. Call it what you want, the Doc here and I agree that we stand a better chance together than we do alone.

And what makes you think our opponents this week aren't likewise planning their own strategy for tomorrow night.

Easy: Baez is a dick. When has he ever really played nice with anyone on something like this?

For starters, he seemed to play nice with you when Stephen here arranged for the Mayhem Championship to fall into the hands of the Crashin Movement.

But see, even then, Baez only sees things one way; his way. If it's not right in front of him, and it's not just the way he likes it, he's blind to it.

Gordito is correct. Baez suffers from tunnel vision. It's likely the cause for him taking so long to break out of the Mayhem Division.

Instead of doing what we're doing, he's off in a corner by himself somewhere obsessing over me.

From what I've seen, he seems to spend every moment planning out when to ambush you next. Are you sure you're even going to make it to Kingdom Come?

Don't worry 'bout me, baby. I'm so used to his antics that I can't fall asleep right unless I've had a Baez chair shot that day.

The fact of the matter is, our opponent's won't be as prepared as we are. Gordito can distract Baez for us. Anytime he's not in the ring as the legal man, he should be working up the crowd.

[Kurtesy looks over to Gordito.]

If you can keep them in a frenzy, they should be able to help fuel Baez's jealousy. The more and more he slips into seeing only the ways he can hurt you, the more oblivious he becomes to the ways Dave and I can beat him.

And the other two?

Barbosa and Kravinoff are another matter.

Those two are like lovebirds right now.

Indeed, they have seemingly forged a partnership as of late. But they aren't something we can't handle.

See, the Doc and I have a bit of experience in dealing with the loon.

And since my first encounter with him, I have had the chance to better observe him. I believe I am now better prepared to handle him. After all, I am a...

Yes, yes, we know.

Anyway, what he's saying is that there aren't many out there who can better deal with a psycho than a shrink. Barbosa is tough, but unstable as all hell.

[The waitress arrive with the drinks. She places a round of shots and beers in front of the three men as they continue their discussion.]

Kravinoff likely represents the greater threat. He's dedicated, relentless, and capable.

But I'm sure that will change once he's standing across the ring from someone like you.

So that's it? Divide and conquer tactics?

Essentially. Baez will be easy to isolate, if his team members even seem to mind that. Barbosa needs to be handled delicately, but with a firm hand.

And Hunter only needs to run into you to find his impressive streak hit a wall.

So why was this meeting necessary?

Look Dave, I don't expect either of us to be BFF's going forward. Kurtesy and I have found our respect for each other. Whether or not you care to carry that yourself is your choice, and I dig that. But when we go out there tomorrow night, we need to be doing it as a team. And teammates need to be able to rely on each other. We'll be opponents again in a short time, but for now our best assets are each other.

If we all do our parts, we will be headed to Kingdom Come with the advantage.

[Dave seems to be thinking things over for a moment in silence.]

I agree that this is probably our wisest course of action. But after tomorrow night, don't expect to see me in a place like this again.

I knew you'd see it our way, Dave.

[Gordito stands a raises his shot glass up.]

It's settled then. A toast! To kicking some ass come Meltdown!

[Kurtesy and Dave also raise their glasses, then all three knock back the shot of alcohol. As we fade away, Dave is pondering how much longer he can stick around, Kurtesy starts discussing some of the finer details of the match, and Gordito is already almost done with his beer chaser.]