DirtyJosé
Best angle of all: retirement
INTRODUCTION
Ok, so you maybe kinda like wrestling and you stumble onto these forums, probably because you got in a fight with a member on the comments section of some shitty article and needed that last word. What do you do now? Well, fear not, because after years of observation I've found the quickest path to WZF infamy.
1: Get into the threads: Picking fights in Non-Spam Wrestling
First of all, you probably have to get around that post limit before you can start making your own threads. Easy peasy, just get into the Non-Spam Wrestling section of your choice and just start going crazy. Think of it like a bar fight, just pick up a pool cue and go fuckin' nuts on any one around you.
2: Start making threads: Make your obviously superior opinions known
Once you're clear to make threads, go to town. It's obvious that these people need to know what you think about the state of things, because they are sheltered and ignorant. The important thing to remember is that people don't come here to discuss wrestling and share opinions; if anyone tries to disagree with you and your opinion, flame them and let them know that you will not stand for their bullying. If they don't like it, they can make their own thread! Also, around this time you are probably picking up a few "warnings". This leads us to the next step.
3: Flame Mods and Admins: Introducing yourself to the staff of WZF
They might be called "warnings" but they are no different than "infractions", which in turn are no different than being rounded up and sent to die in droves in gas chambers. Let these Gestapo fucks know that you are NOT to be trifled with. Real talk, *****. Make sure to stamp extra hard on those patronizing fucks who claim they want to help you avoid infractions and become a better poster; they are obviously jealous of your talents and are seeking to change you to fit their mediocre mold of "ideal poster". This is best achieved with a one-two combo of starting a flame thread (bonus points if you do it in the Site Administration section) and waves of PM's.
4: Go Heel: #theswerve
Now that you've thoroughly provoked the hornet's nest with your "no-nonsense" style and "take no shit" attitude, you've probably made many fans of both posters and staff. They may pretend to disagree with you, even hate you, but in reality they need you. You make their life interesting, you force them to see what they've been raised to ignore, you bring meaning to their existence. Now is the time to take it to that next level; unleash your inner messiah and let them know that you are here for them. Some choose to go the benevolent savior route. Some choose the anti-hero. Either way, find the gimmick that suits you best and NEVER TAKE IT OFF. They won't tell you to your face, but at this point you are Forum Legend. Time to work on that legacy.
5: End Game: Cement Your Legacy as WZF Legend
The good times won't last forever. Eventually, the weasels will close in. You can choose to embrace them, or forsake them. In the case of the former, you must open your arms to all who would seek to make their name off of you, posters and staff alike. Take them all on, show no quarter. This will eventually land you in The Prison, where they will try to break your spirits and your will. Do not let them. Simply return to Step #2, and when you start engaging the staff again, make sure to show them that you have demonstrated that you do not belong in The Prison, every single chance you get.
With the latter, you may loose access to WZF temporarily (they still haven't caught on those clever alts you made
), but you will be remembered forever. Basically, this is the Scorched Earth approach. Destroy everything. Everyone. Do not feel contained to one thread or section. Go nuclear. You will not settle for a temp ban or a Prison stay. Show them that they either get you on your terms, or you will destroy them all. Eventually, you must be free of this wretched imperfect world. Let them know when you reach this point. Show them that you mean business with one last blaze of glory, breaking as many rules and taboos as you can. Porn is encouraged, as is hate speech out of The Bar Room, or any other bannable offense. They may hit you with a non-permanent ban, implying that you may be rehabbed to return. This is an insult, a slap in the face, and your only response must be to immediately jump to an alt account and inform them that you are not so easy to defeat.CONCLUSION
With this guide, you should have no problem becoming a star poster, one of the most talked about in recent times. If something does go wrong, you are encouraged to throw yourself upon the mercies of the staff. PM a member you have interacted with the least and plead your case. Once they show you leniency and let you back in the game, you can return to where you were. Superior minds are not required to keep their word to inferior specimens.
