Kingdom Come V: Celeste Crimson vs. Barbosa - Number One Contender's Match

[Harthan]

Is there a better punishment for Barbosa when he brutally assaulted the World Heavyweight Champion than being rewarded a shot at the World title at Redemption against his love interest, Celeste Crimson? We're certainly baffled and so to is the World champion but it seems his opinions won't matter as they won't be wrestling the match; his Queen will be but there is certainly a catch twenty-two for the submission specialist. Should Celeste win, she successfully keeps the unstable knight at bay but that means she could potentially be the next in line for the championship, her "boyfriend's" title. Considering Celeste has never held a title and would love to be the first female to hold gold, this could certainly cause a dilemma but which will she choose? Self-sacrifice or self-indulgence?

Deadline is Thursday July 25, 2013 @ 11:59 P.M. (Central). No Extensions​

 

[Bernkastel]

“Close your eyes, you can’t look yet!”

Under my instruction the garden behind the manor had finally been renovated. I had followed Steven’s specifications to the letter, and had added in a few new details myself that Steven wasn’t aware of. This was the first time that he was going to see the finished project with his own eyes. His injuries had kept him away from the manor, so this was going to be a surprise for him. I unlocked the doors to the atrium, and gingerly lead him down the stairs to the courtyard. The battles that we had fought had taken a toll on his body, and his recovery had been slow. I stopped and took off his blindfold.

“There!”

I could tell he was dumbstruck as he peered into the vast expanse of nearly an acre and a half of crisscrossing hedges that worked their way to a large dome in the center of the courtyard, which rose up like a small mountain. Steven and I walked down one of the stone covered paths as he stopped to view the different flowers growing amongst the bushes nestled along the perimeter.

“It’s just how I imagined it,” he said.

“There are a few changes, but I’ll show you those later. Let’s go have some tea.”

We made our way over to the stone gazebo in the corner where one of the servants was waiting on us. We sat and slowly sipped our tea, while enjoying the view of the countryside beside us. It was a nice change of pace from being cooped up in the study. Neither Steven nor I were content with simply watching the world pass us by; boredom killed people like us. Both of us were brash, crude, and spontaneous, and most of the time we spent together got used to plot against those that we hated.

“The clock ticks down, love. Soon we’ll have everyone where we want them. The peons will be crushed and the pawns will dance. This garden that I designed is our metaphysical paradise. We shall not see Eden until after Kingdom Come if our kingdom survives that hellhole. The foes we face are tenacious, and if we are not marked by every single man, woman, and organization than we will be.”

Steven reached over and placed his tea cup back on the table. He signaled for the servant to take his leave before turning his head towards me.

“You’ve stayed by my side and followed me into the abyss. Should I have failed in my quest to become king and madness stolen away my soul, that was a risk you were willing to take and for that I am grateful. I’ve realized that pride is not worth as much when you do not have someone to share it with. I’ve face many demons in my life and through all of them I’m glad that you’ve stuck by me through all of it.”

I raised an eyebrow. It was strange for Steven to be this open with his feelings, even with me. Normally he was the type of person to show his feelings through his actions; not through his words. I sipped at my tea and laid the cup down next to my lap.

“What do you want?”

“Pardon?” he responded with surprise.

“Oh come on,” I said with exasperation.

“We’ve been dating for so long that I know you Steven. Rarely do you butter me up like this unless you want me to do something. Is it the garden? If you don’t like it just tell me. I don’t like it when you get passive…”

“I’m not mad, Celeste. Why would I be mad? I love the garden, it’s wonderful-.”

“I didn’t ask if you were mad, I asked what you wanted.”

“Nothing, can I not tell the woman that I love how much I care about her without her expecting an ulterior motive? There’s not.”

I flashed him a coy smile, before cackling under my breath. I enjoyed playfully pushing his buttons. Even though we were a family, our individual paths had forked. As the WZCW champion Steven had obligations and responsibilities that I didn’t have, and even though I had tried my best to make his life easier, we weren’t strong enough to beat destiny. We hadn’t spoken much about Kingdom Come since the Supershow, and neither one of us were angry with each other for the loss we had suffered – far from it actually. I knew that Steven had thrown the match in an effort to avoid injuring himself even further. Inside I had felt rather ashamed that I couldn’t stop David after defeating Drake. Steven had never chastised me for it, and never once made me feel like I was a failure. Maybe it was his confidence as a fighter, or that he wanted to show me how macho he was by getting revenge for me. But when the world title match was announced, and after the hellacious beating he took at the hands of Barbosa, I knew the stress was getting to him.

I sat my tea cup onto the table next to me and turned my head towards him and shot him a smile, “Do you want to see the changes that I made to the renovation?”

He shot me an amused grin as he set his cup down and followed me, as I stood up from my chair and began to walk towards the center of the courtyard. The large mound that looked like a dome covered in the hedges was the addition that I had included in the renovation. Like a labyrinth all the pathways lead to this center and then curved back around to lead out of the garden. The mound itself was fifty feet in diameter and had a ten foot glass dome in the center that let light into the base. I heard Steven whistle, obviously impressed with the layout. The mound had large flowerbeds bordering the sides and down the adjacent hedges that were filled with yellow daises. Steven picked up one of the flowers and examined it; they weren’t indigenous to England.

“They’re called Black Eyed Susan’s. They represent justice taken, and justice given. I thought it was fitting to plant them here.”

The mound had a large opening in front of it that lead to a chamber on the inside. Around the perimeter laid five human sized stone obelisks. In the center lay a concrete slab that protruded several inches from the floor. In the center of the slab laid a large concrete sculpture of a table with a chess set on it. I watched as Steven took a look around with a puzzled expression on his face.

“What is this place?”

“It’s a tumulus. The obelisks represent the tombstones of all the opponents that we have defeated so far, and will defeat once again at Kingdom Come. The first obelisk represents Drake Callahan. He was the first to taste the power of our bond so I found it fitting that he be the first trophy in our collection. The next obelisk represents David Cougar, even though I wasn’t able to beat him you were the one that took the title away from him.”

I watched as Steven approached David’s marker, instead of his name it had the word Superbia written on it. It was pride that had brought David down after Steven had gotten into his head so badly that he was hardly even able to function. Now that pride had been turned into wrath, and his claws were now aimed squarely at Steven’s heart… but that wasn’t my problem. Neither was Drake, whose marker had the word Invidia written on it. He had been so jealous of everyone else around him that he had to make up these cockamamie conspiracy theories in an attempt to sooth his own ego; he wasn’t a threat to us anymore. I watched Steven turn his attention to the three remaining obelisks as he quickly scrolled through the names inscribed on the tops.

“Acedia, Ira, and Avaritia, and to whom are these three obelisks for?”

“Those represent the three faces of Barbosa. I couldn’t decide whether to give him one tombstone or more, as he has so many sins that needed to be purged. There’s no room for dragons in this kingdom, so acting as your knight I’m taking it upon myself to eradicate him before he can become a major problem. I won’t make the mistake of letting him escape my sword like I did David.”

“Barbosa is nothing short of a monster; he’s as crafty as he is cunning, but do not let that ruse of his fool you. Those three faces do not just change randomly. He has to be provoked before he explodes. The Supershow was proof of-”

“Don’t worry about me Steven I can take care of myself just as well as you can.”

I knew full well what Barbosa was capable of. At Kingdom Come I wasn’t going to be just facing a man, or a monster, I was going to be facing a dynasty. As close in mind and body as Steven and I were, even we didn’t have three minds sharing a body. I had heard all the stories, and I had been in the ring with Barbosa enough to know a bit how he fought. By instinct I could adapt to his every move. But I’d never be able to read him well enough to be a step ahead. I had to be quick and ride whatever storm came my way, whether that be the hungry Barbosa that wanted to tear the flesh from my bones as he devoured my essence. Or the cold, calculating Barbosa that could lure me into a false sense of security by thinking that I had him well scouted, when really I wasn’t even close at all. Or I could come face to face with the juggernaut that bulldozed me a few weeks before I could even get out of his way.

“I worry about you because I know how dangerous Barbosa can be. I don’t want you to push yourself too hard. If things turn ugly and he loses it, I’d rather you get out of there. They’ll be other opportunities for you-”

His words were starting to make me angry; this was probably why he was trying to butter me up earlier.

“What are you trying to say, Steven? Do you think that I can’t beat Barbosa?”

“I never said that. I said that I worry about you because unlike me you don’t feel pain, you don’t know when to quit. If it had been you locked in Drake’s submission hold at the Supershow you wouldn’t have tapped out and who knows what could have happened!”

“But as you just said I’m not like you. At Kingdom Come if Barbosa explodes like he did before then I’ll be there to meet him head on. I’d rather neither of us win the contendership if it comes to that. He hurt you, and he embarrassed me. And if he tries to finish the job he started because the voices in his head have gotten to him then I am not going to 'just take it.' I have my pride to you know-”

“And you don’t think I do? I am supposed to protect you now! You’ve done enough for me already and I don’t want you to kill yourself for me; we’re supposed to go to Eden together, and I don’t want to have to wheel you there!”

I threw up my arms; this was appalling. I knew he was hiding something but to be this petty, this wasn’t like Steven at all. I could feel the temperature inside the mound beginning to rise as our tempers flared.

“And there’s the macho man persona. The brave King Holmes riding out to meet his foes in one last epic battle while the queen has to sit back and watch, what about what I want? What about my destiny? Do you remember what I get if I win?”

Steven stopped and stared at me. We were deadlocked in a battle of wills. At this point Steven was being very hard to read. I couldn’t imagine why he wasn’t supporting me one hundred percent on this. So what if I had to take a back seat and watch him mop up the floor with Drake and David, that didn't bother me in the slightest. I had the chance to finally be one step closer to fulfilling one of my all time dreams of becoming a champion.

“Wouldn’t it be romantic if it was just the two of us,” I said as I stepped forward and pressed myself against his chest.

“Think about how grand and exciting that’s going to be, with the two of us facing off for the title at Redemption?”

I looked up into his eyes, but they were gray. I didn’t see the warmth in them that I usually did; instead they were glazed over, as Steven stared forward like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck. For the briefest of seconds I felt his skin break out in goose bumps. I heard him start to speak something, but he just couldn’t find the words. Suddenly he pushed me away from his chest and held me at arm’s length, and muttered something so softly I didn’t catch it.

“I’d rather face Barbosa at Redemption.”

“What?”

I watched him compose himself, as he shut his eyes for good measure. He repeated himself, this time more slowly.

“I said that I’d rather face Barbosa at Redemption than you.”

My mouth fell open, and I couldn’t believe my ears. Surely this was a joke. If this was another one of his ploys to get me to stand back as an excuse to try and protect me, then I wasn’t buying his facade any longer. He turned his back to me and tried to walk away, but I stopped him by grabbing his arm. I asked him why he would want to trade something so beautiful for a meeting with a madman. I had to know; such a statement was ludicrous! He clenched his fist tight, broke away from me, and turned around with a feral look on his face.

“You aren’t good enough to beat Barbosa, Celeste! Every single time you have had a chance to prove yourself you choke, and Kingdom Come isn’t going to be any different. You are better off throwing the match or getting yourself disqualified if you feel you want to protect me.”

His words cut me so deeply and so suddenly that I didn’t know how to react. It felt like an out of body experience that I was watching this happen to another Celeste, as the man she loved trashed her. In one single moment I felt all the anger I had just drain out of my body.

“Forget Barbosa, you aren’t any sort of challenge for me! What? Did you think I was going to lay down for you at Redemption? Did you honestly think I was going to go easy on you just because you’re my woman?”

I was trembling; not in anger, but in grief. I couldn’t believe what he was saying. Desperately I reached out with my words, passionately laying my emotions on the line.

“What about my dreams? What about my happiness, Steven?”

Instead of directly answering me, he turned his back and said something that completely broke my spirit.

“Your dreams make a mockery of my pride.”

His words were so cold and felt like ice; in one instant I felt it all shatter away. I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing at that point. Of all people the man that I loved, had shared a bed with, and given my heart to, had crushed my heart so deceivingly. And in one moment all that sadness turned to anger as I turned and found the nearest object to take my fury out on, which was Barbosa’s obelisk. In a rage I began to punch and kick the stone marker so violently that Steven immediately whirled around and stopped me, screaming at me to stop before I hurt myself. But I didn’t want to stop, and I sure as shit didn’t want to listen to him.

“Get out Steven, just get out of here you jerk! I don’t want to be around you right now!”

Taking the hint he turned and walked out as I collapsed and fell to the ground beside the marker as tears streamed down my face. I sobbed and I sobbed, and all I could see as Steven cut me down were all the happy moments we shared together being broken one by one. This was the first time since falling for him did I start to doubt him. I had my own desires and ambitions and I didn’t want to be in his shadow any longer. We were supposed to be equals!

I tried to shut my eyes to force the horrible pictures out of my mind, but every time all I could see was the image of Barbosa there mocking me with a stupid grin on his face. Why did he have to show up in my mind now of all times? The one obstacle standing in front of me and my dream… I couldn’t stand it! Steven’s words echoed in my ears, but yet all I saw was Barbosa’s face; all three of them!

‘You can’t beat Barbosa. You can’t beat Barbosa. You can’t beat Barbosa!’

I let out an ear splitting scream in an attempt to make his voice stop. I was finally starting to calm down, but amidst the chaos I saw myself fighting Barbosa at Kingdom Come. Seas of infinite possibilities were laid out in front of me. In one reality I saw myself getting disqualified to protect Steven’s wishes, while in another I saw myself pinning him, winning the contendership, and fulfilling my wishes. In a third I fulfilled my wish, but I was injured to the point where I had no choice but to forfeit my dream. In a fourth Barbosa defeated me, and I was humiliated even further. Only one of those possibilities would come to pass, and I couldn’t dwell on the future. Trying to force a miracle to happen would likely reduce my luck to zero.

I wiped away my tears, and stood. I really didn’t want to be here anymore. Not here at the manor, and not around Steven. If he truly felt that way, to have me be the dutiful woman doting by his side like a mindless puppet, then my spirit would have to be completely broken first. I did not want to think about it, but if I lost the rest of my pride at Kingdom Come, I’d likely be in Steven’s shadow for the rest of my career. Looking around I eyed the three obelisks I had installed for Barbosa. Three tombstones for one man...

‘How absurd,’ I thought.

‘If I smite Barbosa on the rocks of the riverbank leading to the mouth of Purgatory, then Steven and I can drown each other in the river at Redemption and go to Hell for all I care. Barbosa can have this marker for his sin of apathy, that one in the center will be mine for my sin of revenge, and Steven can have the last one on the end for his sin of greed. We won’t ever get to see Eden.’

With a heavy heart I walked out of the mound and started making my way through the labyrinth of hedges back to the manor. I paused when I got to the stairs and began to ascend them slowly. I walked through the atrium, and then slowly through the house until I reached the front double doors of the manor. I reached out, grabbed the handle, and turned it, but before I could walk out the door a voice stopped me. I turned my head to see Steven behind me. I tried to ignore him, but he grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. I wasn’t surprised; the part of me that wanted to be angry with him was still gone. I felt hollow, empty, and burned out. I glanced up at Steven with trepidation, but he just kept staring at the floor.

“Celeste I-”

“You were right Steven. I’m no match for you, and I’m honestly no match for Barbosa either. As your queen if you want me to disqualify myself to protect you I’ll do it, if you want me to lay down so that you can have a decent challenge at Redemption I’ll do it. All this time that we’ve been together you’ve been a better man to me than my ex husband was. You’ve never once abandoned me, and you’ve treated me right, and because of that I’m okay with being in your shadow.”

I felt dejected and demoralized, but submissive to my possible fate, but then Steven did something that I never expected him to. Before I could even open my mouth to say anything else he reached down and pressed a finger to my lips.

“Quiet! Just stop talking. You’ve got it all wrong; I’m the one that needs to apologize. What I said earlier, I didn’t mean it. It’s just that I was afraid that if you did become number one contender, and you did beat me at Redemption, then you’d leave me just like my ex wife did. I know it’s been your dream for so long to be a champion, just like it was my dream to be WZCW champion, and you helped me achieve that. I’d be more than happy to drop the title to you, and become your knight. I have no doubt in my mind that you’ll destroy Barbosa at Kingdom Come.”

His words were so touching and so beautiful that I couldn’t stop myself from crying again. Looking up into his eyes, beneath his tough, brutal, cold exterior that he showed to everyone else but me I saw one single tear fall from the corner of his eye. The one tear he’d shed for my sake and no one else’s meant the world to me. I threw myself into his arms and began to sob into his chest.

“I won’t apologize for wanting to look after you. You have a warrior’s heart, but you feel no sensation of pain so you have no off switch. It took me longer to recover from Barbosa’s assault because I wanted to undertake your pain as well as my own. Your pain is now mine to bear, and no matter the load I won’t break.”

My mind flashed back several months ago before the Lethal Lottery when my best friend Patricia offered to do the same thing for my sake. She let me hit her and inflict pain on her body to symbolize the pain that I wouldn’t have been able to feel during the Lottery. The fact that Steven felt the same way as she did made me so happy that I felt like I could finally take on the world and win for once.

“Thank you Steven, thank you so much!”

He wrapped his arms around me and held me as we stood in perfect bliss. I didn’t care what anyone thought about me, about Steven, about what we stood for, or about what we were trying to accomplish. I didn’t care if we were the bad guys in the eyes of others. We both had hearts, and dreams that we wanted to achieve.

“No Celeste, thank you. It doesn’t matter if we win or lose at Kingdom Come. As long as we rise or fall together that’s all that matters to me.”

I pulled myself from his chest and stared into his eyes as we shared a kiss by the doorway. We didn’t have to wait to go to Eden anymore because we had already found it. Our paradise was right there, in that one perfect moment, and nobody was going to take that away from us. Not an envious zealot still clinging to his useless ideals. Not a prideful glutton whose heart ached for fifteen pounds of gold over his own family. Most certain was not some madman driven by the desire to take and destroy, leaving nothing but bedlam in his wake. Not this time. Hell would have to wait to take us both, because neither of us would ever surrender to any of them.

 

[Барбоса]

*Barbosa emerges through the curtain backstage at the WZCW Supershow after leaving the six man tag match to give chase to Erik Holmes.

He looks left and right for any indication of where his prey went, even going as far as to shout at those backstage officials around the gorilla position and in the adjoining halls.*

Barbosa: Which way did he go?

*When Barbosa receives no answer from the officials, who are too busy doing their jobs or paying attention to the unfolding drama in the ring, he grabs the closest body and draws him up to his eyes and growls loudly in his face.*

Barbosa: Where did Erik Holmes go?!?

*Terrified by the thunderous face of a raging Barbosa, the backstage hand points a shaking hand down a dark and unused corridor. Barbosa quickly drops his human signpost and heads down the corridor with a determined stride.

However, despite his bluster and seeming want to find the Holmesian bodyguard, as soon as Barbosa rounds the corner of the corridor and disappears from the view of the backstage officials, he stops dead and the urgency melts away. Looking back over his shoulder, Barbosa smiles a treacherous smile.*

Barbosa: This will teach SHIT for leaving us alone weeks ago and wanting to hurt us and our friends!

???: Well, well, well.

*The sudden disruption of his revelling in his revenge plan sees Barbosa rocket back around to look down the corridor, where he sees not just Erik Holmes but also the man he had faced in singles competition just a few weeks earlier; a man that had not been the same since - the WZCW World Heavyweight Champion, "The Elite" Steven Holmes, who is sporting a smile of his own.*

Holmes: It seems that this manic idiot is far more devious than he is given credit for. Pity it is wasted in such a futile attempt to regain relevance.

*Confronted by two such capable men, Barbosa says nothing and instead assumes a defensive posture and looks around to survey his options - a narrow corridor, made even narrower by the presence of a table to the left hand side. A good defensive position against superior numbers attacking head on.

But he could not shake a feeling that there was something more to this face off. Holmes was smart and if Barbosa had recognised the potential strength in his position, then it was likely that the World Heavyweight Champion had too.

Then it hit him and his shoulders slumped.*

Barbosa: So where is she?

*And then it actually hit him.

SMASH!

Just as Barbosa has finished his query, Celeste appears out of the darkness to blast him on the back of head with a steel chair! Barbosa falls face first onto the ground but before he can come fully to semi-conscious rest, Celeste hauls him to his feet, hoists him up into the air and slams him through the adjacent table with a vicious powerbomb.

Celeste then grabs the limp Barbosa by the throat, pulling him forward off of the ground, seemingly intent on continuing the beating. However, before she can inflict more punishment on her helpless foe, a hand rests on her shoulder. It is Steven Holmes.*

Holmes: That will do, my dear. Crushing him any further could put your Kingdom Come match in jeopardy.

*Celeste seems to not agree immediately but after a few seconds she releases Barbosa's throat, leaving his head smash against the cold concrete. Before she leaves and Barbosa falls completely into the oblivion of unconsciousness, Celeste has one more stark warning for her Kingdom Come opponent.*

Celeste: There is more where that came from, you tri-polar freak! When I am done with you on the grandest stage of them all, you will wish that you never set foot in the ring with the love of my life.

Nothing will stand in the way of the completion of our monopoly over the WZCW title!

*With that, Celeste unloads a slap across the prone Barbosa's face before walking away with the Holmes brothers to prepare for their upcoming tag match, leaving Barbosa alone in the gloom.

Before the nothingness of yet another concussive knockout can claw its way from the corners of his eyes to encompass him completely, Barbosa makes the instinctive decision to make sure he remembers how this happened this time. To that end, he focuses on the most distinctive two things about his attacker...

Heterochromia eyes and hair of platinum.

Eyes and hair of platinum.

Platinum white.

White.*

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*Brilliant white.

That was his world again.

Knocked out again.

With no idea who had done this. Again.

If they could have, Barbosa's shoulders would have sagged once more.

Despite that, hanging in this white version of nothingness, which was quickly beomcing like a second home to him, Barbosa tried to spark a memory.

The match had started and…

That was it. He could remember nothing else, even though he was sure that there was something important.

Something white at the corner of his perception.

Something he could not quite put his eye on.

Something that was a hair's breadth from his recollection.

Whilst trying to spark that memory, Barbosa has failed to notice that the brightness of his white surroundings had started to fade. Suddenly, out of the silent white, he hears a voice; a voice that drags him back to semi-consciousness.*

???: Successful trap laid for Barbosa.

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*SHIT is walking backstage following its victory on the Supershow. If it could have been, it would have been pleased with having laid down a marker for Kingdom Come by pinning the Elite X champion. It would also have been somewhat worried about the lack of input from Barbosa in that match or having not seen him since he headed off on a mission of destruction.

If it were capable.

Still, it required to find its increasingly distant tag team partner to inform him of their victory and to perhaps discuss their matches at Kingdom Come.

Walking around the corner, SHIT walks into an old friend.*

SHIT: Backstage Bob, cursory salutation.

*The poor man recoils at having to deal with this lunatic in a box who did not know its own strength. Or was it the weakness of flesh?*

SHIT: Has Backstage Bob seen Barbosa?

*Think it better to answer quickly and succinctly, Bob points towards the darkened and unoccupied corner that Barbosa had gone down after Erik Holmes minutes earlier. The robot looks in that direction before looking back to Bob.*

SHIT: Conversational expression of gratitude, meatbag!

*As Bob scuttles off, SHIT heads towards the pointed-out corridor. However, realising that it is dark and learning from the attacks of Empire, Constantine and Toyota, it pauses before walking into the darkness.*

SHIT: ACTIVATE EXTERNAL ILLUMINATION!

*With that, SHIT turns on his arm mounted flashlight, something which seems to be only used for finding Barbosa; perhaps SHIT should name it after them? That is something that humans did - give names to inanimate objects. SHIT then shone the Illuminating Barbosa Detector down the corridor and while initially seeing nothing but a broken table, a second scan reveals a set of legs sticking out of the mangled mess of wood.

Still wary of an ambush, SHIT makes its way measuredly towards the table. However, when it gets close enough to identify the prone body, SHIT turns back towards the entrance to the corridor and shouts.*

SHIT: Backstage Bob!

*No reply.*

SHIT: Backstage Bob!

*Still no reply, although SHIT does not take that as evidence of the lack of Bob's presence and instead takes the approach that it had learned from the Smoking Barbosa - shouting louder and threatening violence.*

SHIT: BACKSTAGE BOB, IF YOU DO NOT APPEAR HERE THIS INSTANT, THIS ONE WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND USE YOUR HUMANOID CARCASS AS A CHOPPING BLOCK!

*Shivering at the threat, Bob sticks his head around the corner and has to shield his eyes from the glare of the Illuminating Barbosa Detector that SHIT has shone in his direction.*

SHIT: Barbosa requires treatment! Bring medical aid.

*Realising that this is an emergency rather than another episode of SHIT's seemingly random silliness, Bob heads off to summon help, leaving SHIT to look around the mess his tag partner has been left in.*

SHIT: CRIME SCENE ANALYSIS MODE ACTIVATED!

*Immeditately, Detective SHIT leans in closer to the prone body of Barbosa amongst the ruins of the table.*

SHIT: GATHERING EVIDENCE: Destroyed table. No evidence of culprit. Opportunistic or planned usage?

*SHIT then looks around his surroundings.*

SHIT: GATHERING EVIDENCE: Darkened corridor. Suitable for ambush.

*SHIT then shines his Illuminating Barbosa Detector towards an object on the floor.*

SHIT: EVIDENCE DISCOVERED! Dented chair on the ground. Possibility of weaping used in attack - HIGH.

*With these pieces of information, Detective SHIT now stands upright and begins to calculate its version of events.*

SHIT: SUGGESTION: Successful trap laid for Barbosa in darkened corridor. Attacked from behind with chair. Then put through this table with a some kind of slam…

*Suddenly, SHIT's investigative musings are interrupted by what a human would have claimed as a moment of epiphany.*

Barbosa turns around and sees Holmes with the chair. Holmes looks at the chair and then shakes his head “no.” He shouts, “It wasn’t me.” But it is too late. Barbosa is enraged as he grabs the chair from Holmes and yanks it out of his hands. He slams it into the head of Holmes, who drops to the ground and rolls out of the ring. Celeste is there to help him as she quickly pulls him over to the announcer’s table to retrieve his world championship. However, Barbosa is already out of the ring and is there to greet them. Celeste rushes at him, but Barbosa nails her with a chair shot! The crowd is crazy as Barbosa proceeds to send a chair shot into the gut of Holmes. Barbosa drops the chair and tucks Holmes’ head in-between his legs. The crowd is cheering wildly as Barbosa picks up Holmes and drops him into the announcer’s table! The crowd is roaring in approval as Barbosa stares coldly down at Holmes…

Celeste: BARBOSA!

You've just made your own death wish by attacking the love of my life!

The next time I'll see you Barbosa... it'll be the last... and I don't expect too wait that long.

SHIT: Likely perpetrator… Celeste Crimson.

Motive… complete revenge for past injuries!

*At that very moment, Barbosa floats back into semi-consciousness, opening his eyes.*

SHIT: Barbosa!

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*Despite being only vaguely conscious, the words still rang in his ears.

"Successful trap laid for Barbosa."

The perpetrator was still in the vicinity! If only he could regain enough control to open his eyes then he could catch a glimpse of him/her/them.

Just then, more confessions of an unseen person rung through his head.

???: …revenge for past injuries complete!

Wait a minute… he knew that voice. That strange non-human syntax and cadence… It was…*

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Barbosa: SHIT!

SHIT: Yes, Barbosa?

Barbosa: YOU DID THIS!

SHIT: Yes, this one solved the problem.

Barbosa: Attempted to solve the problem of us, you mean.

SHIT: Yes, Scaled Humanoid Industrial Technology figured out who attacked you.

Barbosa: It cannot have been too hard a mystery!

SHIT: Barbosa's list of enemies is long and the lack of evidence would have too much for an organic meatbag but not for this one's superior processors.

*Barbosa's face curls up in a mixture of anger and confusion, like he has not understood half of the words SHIT has used and is angry because of it. However, before they can continue their increasingly futile conversation, members of the medical team start to appear, bustling around the downed Barbosa and asking questions about his condition.

As Barbosa is still groggy, SHIT begins to inform the medics about his deduction about what had happened. However, the prone Bedlamite interjects and points an accusatory finger at the cardboard robot.*

Barbosa: You shut up, you silly man in a box! You did this so stay away from us!

*The accusation that SHIT is responsible for this attack leads to members of the medical team to get between the robot and the wreckage of the table that contains Barbosa. At first, the emotionless robot refuses to back away but on computing the outburst from Barbosa and recognising it as being from the increasingly unreliable Manic, it decides that discretion is the better form of valour for now and retreats up the corridor to leave the medics to do their job.

Had it not been for its cardboard exterior, an outside observer would have suggested that Sacled Humanoid Industrial Technology was exuding the body language of anger, frustration and bemusement all at once.

However, as SHIT leaves and Barbosa is gingerly sat up by the medics, neither are able to see another interested party. Standing at the far end of the corridor, obscured by the arrival of EMTs and other officials, Dr Zeus watches the latest episode of the unfolding Barbed Wires soap opera.

The demonstrating of something approaching emotion from a man who thinks he is an emotionless robot and the constant jumping back and forward from an individual who shows seemingly concurrent symptoms of bi-polar disorder and schizophrenia but ramped up to medically preposterous levels.

The Doctor would continue to monitor this situation.*

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*There was a new addition to the poker room, something that so dominated it that the poker table had had to be moved away from the centre just so the Barbosas could get a good look at it.

Spoiler

It was a massive picture of Celeste Crimson and to be honest, the Smoker had spent an inordinate, some would say an unhealthy amount of time staring at it in recent weeks.

Every time he walked in, the sheen of that platinum hair drew his attention; those White Russian features brought a sweat to his brow; those multi-coloured eyes stared back at him, stirring feelings from deep.
Those features never failed to see him flex his hand in a back and forth motion and then, together with a grimace of concentrated anticipation…

POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER!

And again!

And again!

Then he would stop for a few seconds as he retrieved the darts that were now protruding from Celeste's pretty little face.*

The Smoker: We must stay focused. We must stay focused.

*The Smoker is metronomically talking to no one in particular even though the Depressive is present and seated at the moved poker table.*

The Smoker: We need no distractions. We need no distractions.

*Then, almost as if on cue, like someone had planned it for comic effect, Manic bursts into the poker room.*

Manic: We have finally gotten rid of it!

The Smoker: What? That rash?

Manic: No, the robot! We sent him packing.

*The Smoker dismissively raises his eyebrows and goes back to aiming his missiles at Celeste's eyes.*

The Smoker: We know there are plenty of reasons for doing so, but which one did you pick?

Manic: Oh, we don't know… how about it is not our friend? How about it is trying to get between us and our real friends, Hunt and Toto? How about how it attacked us last week? Or how about it attacked us just there now at the Supershow?

The Smoker: Wait… just there now? At the Supershow?

Manic: Yeah! It hit us over the head with something, slammed us through a table and then stood over us. We saw it! It even admitted to it!

The Smoker: You mean it managed to stay out in the arena in front of several thousand people and millions watching at home, win its match, jump into a modified Delorean, fire up the flux capacitor, crank that mother up to 88 miles an hour and time travel back far enough that it could then take up a position to ambush us backstage?

*When the Manic gives no immediate answer, the Smoker continues to pile on the sarcasm, turning away from his Celestial dartboard towards the Depressive and shrugging his shoulders.*

The Smoker: Maybe it is a lot cleverer than we give it credit for? Perhaps its even a magician.

Manic: Well… well… even if it wasn't to blame, we got rid of it! We left it in the ring like it left us against Holmes and then we told it to go away and it did! Now we can focus on getting the big shiny back!

*Almost as if the mention of the World Heavyweight Title shiny has hypnotised him, the Smoker's sarcastic stance seems to melt away, although he does not stop hurling darts at Celeste. However, the Depressive is not so easily swayed.*

Depressive: So let us get this straight… at a time when we are rolling into the biggest show of the year, one step away from a shot at regaining that 'big shiny' we covet so much, a step that includes not just a seasoned competitor in Celeste Crimson but also the current World Heavyweight Champion and his bodyguard, we have chosen to dispense with the one ally that we had; an ally that was willing to let our obnoxious behaviour towards it pass without so much as a word of rebuke; an ally that, with us by its side, has proven to be an almost literal winning machine and an ally that could easily have helped us overcome the Crimson Holmes alliance and regain that 'big shiny?'

*The Smoker has stopped throwing darts, clearly swayed by the Depressive's incisive deconstruction of Manic's actions.*

The Smoker: Great, so in attempting to focus on the big shiny by riding ourselves of a cardboard distraction, we have moved the same big shiny further from our grasp?

Depressive: Correct.

The Smoker: Well then, it appears that there is only one thing to do…

*Both the Depressive and the Smoker stare holes through the Manic, who has take a sudden interest in his own feet. Despite that though and knowing full well what the others mean for him to do, he still tries to fight his corner.*

Manic: But… it is not our friend…

Depressive: This is a mess that we need to clean up sooner rather than later.

Manic: But why us?

Depressive: Because we caused it…

*The Manic stands his ground for a few moments more but the combined stare of the Depressive and the Smoker, plus perhaps the latter holding potentially damaging missiles, eventually leads him to hang his head and walk out the door.*

The Smoker: We will be watching…

*However, as the door closes and the Smoker goes back to injecting Celeste's face with tungsten botox, the Depressive is seemingly more depressed than usual.*

Depressive: The damage could be irreversible.

The Smoker: What? Why? She did not hit us all that hard. It was the hangover from that idiotic robot flying at us that made it worse.

Depressive: It is the damage to the robot that we are talking about.

The Smoker: We might have left it outnumbered but the match was not that brutal. It suffered far worse against us and survived.

Depressive: No, we mean its willingness to forgive our rejection of it. Scaled Humanoid Industrial Technology is essentially an infant when it comes to emotion and it may not be able to deal with being sent away by one of the first people it had come to see as a true ally and even have trust in.

The Smoker: So we just go back to working by ourselves. We won the world title without any help the last time. Why can we not do it that way again?

Depressive: Aside from when the entire roster got involved to squash the champion and we cashed in a contract that we did not original earn? That kind of "by ourselves"?

The Smoker: You know what we meant.

Depressive: Because as champion we only had to deal with singles competitors who had no back up - Big Dave, Titus, Sam Smith. This time, even to just get to the world title match we will have to get through a cerebral and vicious trio that has already gotten the better of us just minutes ago when we walked straight into their trap.

The Smoker: Hey! That was not our fault.

Depressive: Maybe not, but it is still we who will pay for such mistakes.

The Smoker: So you are saying that if we do not get the robot back onside that we have no chance at regaining the big shiny?

Depressive: Not no chance, but certainly the odds will be greatly diminished.

As a competitor and a threat, Steven Holmes is a similar challenge to John Constantine - a man with plenty of connections and plenty of funds to find as many allies as he can get his hands on and possibly lay them at the disposal of Ms Crimson.

The Smoker: But we have seen off Constantine and his cronies at every turn.

Depressive: True, but that belt around Mr Holmes' waste suggests that he is perhaps even more skilled at manipulation and bribery than Mr Constantine.

The Smoker: More skilled at manipulation and bribery than an aristocratic politician? SHIT… we do need it back.

Depressive: Indeed.

The Smoker: But Celeste is a gir…

Depressive: Stop right there. Do not finish that sentence. It is so passé as to be intolerable.

The Smoker: What? That she is a great submissions expert that cannot feel pain…

*The Depressive eyes the Smoker with suspicion.*

Depressive: Yes… Ms Crimson alone would be a threat but with Holmes' backing and this new fire that her association with him has lit under her, we may need all the help we can get.

*This brings a moment of silence to the poker room before it is broken by the Smoker throwing one last dart between the eyes of the Celesteboard.*

The Smoker: We definitely need to keep on eye on what goes on outside then.