Jealousy – How much does it affect you?

[Ultra Awesome]

This subject was touched upon Pheonix’s thread so I’d thought it’d be a good idea if I made this thread.

Generally speaking, people are jealous creatures. There’s simply no denying it. Jealousy is a human emotion that affects all of us at one point or another. Whether it be by a love situation that occurred (e.g. love triangle), or simply being jealous through a friendship, jealousy occurs all the time.

Contributions for the act of being jealous can include from a wide variety of feelings such as: anger, frustration, uncertainty, disgust, sadness, and most important of all, fear. But it’s not just fear on its own. It’s more the type of fear having to do with the loss of something that has meaning to you. Usually, this type of loss is the type that occurs when you have a situation where: person 1 likes person 2, but person 2 does not like person 1, because person 2 likes person 3. Thus, person 1 is jealous of person 3 because he (or she) is liked by person 2---In other words, a love triangle [as stated above].

Of course, no one likes when that happens to them; nor do they like being the odd one out. So, thus brings me to the question of this thread…

Generally speaking, are you a jealous person?

--> If so or if not​

How much does jealousy affect you?

Not every human is alike. Some people tend to be very jealous individuals; yet, some tend to not be affected by jealousy so much. But what about you? How much does jealousy affect you?

 

[Ferbian]

Generally speaking, are you a jealous person?

Yes I am a jealous person. Even if I don't like to admit it, hell I don't even like to see the truth myself sometimes. Sometimes I don't want to be jealous, but it's kinda inevitable at times.

I'd like to say there's 2 kind of jealousy, at least for me.

There's the friendly jealousy. The one that is hardly there for me. Of course I'll admit that I can get a little jealous if I have a good friend that suddenly either gets into a relationship, not because I want to be in a relationship with the person, but probably because I would've grown tired of being single at that point or another. And there's the kind of friendly jealousy over someone hanging out with a friend you wanted to hang out with.

And then there's the "girl-jealousy" if you will. The worst one for me. I hate to get involved in something, emotionally or friendship wise and to see it either not being returned in the same way due to being affected towards someone else, or if it turns out that the "relationship" or friendship, whatever you want to call it, is shared from the girl to 2 people at the time, and you're one of them. A lot of people would probably call it manipulation from the girls side, but generally it's just a thing I can't stand.

Especially if I'm emotionally involved with the girl, or at least got a crush on the girl. I don't like either wondering whether it's returned, whether the flirting and fun we're having is something she has, or is doing with someone else at the same time period that we were doing it.

How much does jealousy affect you?

It once again depends on what situation we're in. The friendly jealousy is something that hardly gets to me at all. And if it does, it's a minor thing momentarily.

The emotional / girl jealousy is something that really nags me. And it's something that doesn't even have to be something going on while she's doing it with me. I can get jealous knowing of some of the stuff a former boyfriend has done with her. I guess it's kinda childish, and bubble like, but I really just like the feeling of being the "one and only" for the person, the one that matters, and not a secondary choice, a back-up plan or something like that.

So, generally yes, I am a jealous person. But I'd like to believe that it's just a minor flaw in my personality that if everything goes "perfectly after my head" if you will, that it will be hardly noticeable then.

 

[LSN80]

Generally speaking, people are jealous creatures. There’s simply no denying it. Jealousy is a human emotion that affects all of us at one point or another. Whether it be by a love situation that occurred (e.g. love triangle), or simply being jealous through a friendship, jealousy occurs all the time.

Absolutely correct. Even moreso, we as human being are selfish individuals who are often ruled by their feelings. Every action we engage in has some selfish motive and is never 100% altruistic. Jealousy ties into this because we can't stand to see someone happy unless it is with us. Complete selfishness.

Contributions for the act of being jealous can include from a wide variety of feelings such as: anger, frustration, uncertainty, disgust, sadness, and most important of all, fear. But it’s not just fear on its own. It’s more the type of fear having to do with the loss of something that has meaning to you.

Spot on again. Jealously is not a primary emotion, its a secondary one. There's usually a deeper one that lies there, and you touched on most of them. Fear is indeed the biggest one. How many of us like the idea of being alone? Id imagine its few, yet many people live day to day with that exact fear. That fear can often lead to jealousy, even if we're in a relationship or hold something that has value to us. Often times, the fear is quite unrealistic, except to the person who is feeling it.

Generally speaking, are you a jealous person?

I certainly am. I think anyone who says otherwise is lying, quite frankly. As much as I find joy in my wife's successes in her career field, I feel jealous at times if I dont perceive to be doing the same in mine. I used to get extremely jealous when she would flirt with male friends when we were dating, because I took it personally as she wasn't getting what she needed from me. Those thoughts and feelings were often completely inaccurate, but I wanted her to want me and noone else.

--> If so or if not​

How much does jealousy affect you?

So much of this depends on the situation. Ive gotten so much better over time at controlling those feelings and seperating whats rational from whats not. For me, its come down to a contextual thing now, where I examine each situation, and then Im jealous, or not, based upon what Ive considered.

Everything used to make me jealous. People who were above me at work that I worked harder and contributed more to the company then made me jealous. Alot of my wife's actions made me so jealous, especially her relationship with her family as compared to mine, as well as her general flirtatiousness.

That being said, it doesnt affect me as much any more. Ive learned to go with the flow in many situations and not get caught up in "moments" or "situational" happenings that I have no control over. It hurts me most, and isn't beneficial to any of my relationships, so Ive filtered that greatly. It still affects me, but nowhere nere what it did even a year ago. My self-esteem has grown massively from it as a result.

Not every human is alike. Some people tend to be very jealous individuals; yet, some tend to not be affected by jealousy so much. But what about you? How much does jealousy affect you?[/QUOTE]

 

[Chardee Macdennis]

I hate when I am forced to deal with this subject, because I AM EXTREMELY jealous. Only when it comes to women. It's been that way since High School. I generally don't act on the jealousy, but it eats me alive inside. Jealousy has affected me in this way, to a greater extent than it has most. I lost the love of my life in college because of this very thing. I wrongly suspected my GF of cheating on me and it ate me alive. So much so, that I took matters into my own hands and got what I thought was revenge by "actually" cheating on her. Man, it was the WORST decision I've ever made. I hurt the person I loved so much, simply because I couldn't control my emotions. I lost her, and I'll never live to see the day when I'm not deeply saddened by what I did. I guess the only positive thing that came from it, is the fact that I can now control my jealousy MUCH better than I used to. I'll never, ever, go down that road again.

It is amazing how much it can affect your daily life, when you let it get the best of you. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't do much of anything but feel sorry for yourself. FUCK THAT! Never again will I find myself in that situation.

I've never been the type to be jealous of friends. Not sure why, I just haven't. I guess all of my jealousy is wrapped up in the first type.

 

[Loveless]

I don't think I even knew what jealousy was until my mid 20's. I'm very charitable to the people around me and I've always believed that people generally get what they deserve, so I never begrudged anyone around me doing well. I just figured it was the natural order of things and that if I wanted what they had, I'd maybe have to try harder.

And then I met her
* Looks in vain for a Puffed out cheeks smiley *

Some people... they just come into your life and wreck everything by showing you everything you could ever want from life, stuff you didn't even know you wanted or existed. And then they leave or they find someone else and it's like a madness, like someone has literally taken your life away and you need to get it back, at any cost.
Going from not knowing what jealousy was to that very nearly killed me. As for how I am now, much more reserved when it comes to relationships, extremely wary of anyone who could try to infringe on my territory and utterly ruthless in pushing away anyone who crosses me.

 

[#hamler]

I'm a jealous person, only when it comes to my girlfriend. Its not something me, or anyone can help. I never like to admit it, but yes I am a jealous person. When it comes to another guy or even a girl for that matter, when my girlfriend gives attention to someone else besides me, jealous feelings are sparked. Now I'm not an attention junky, just when it comes from someone I'm deeply in love with, I crave each and every single bit of her attention.

Jealousy is pretty much an everyday thing with me and her. Doesn't mean we don't completly trust each other. I trust her. I don't like when she talks to someone of the opposite gender. Guys are fuckin' perves. I know how they work. Shit like that goes through my mind. I have even went so far as to trying to get other people to tell me what the hell goes on. That's taking it a bit too far I get it. I remember one time a guy borrowed her iPod and I started to go ape shit on her. I mean its a fucking iPod.

Anyways, I know every couple have jealousy problems. I just kinda wish I could control it a bit better. I spent to many nights thinking about what she might be doing. Jealousy is seriously a bitch. I've spent to much time with her to even worry about stupid shit that doesn't even really matter. Pretty much, unless someone has everything I could ever want, I don't get jealous outside of my relationship. And its probably due to my relationship I don't get jealous outside of my relationship.