I hate feeling like this.

[The Doctor]

So, I have a friend. I feel a very deep affection for this girl. Not romantic, but I love her like a friend.

Anyway, there is something really weighing on her mind. She won't tell me what it is but it's really eating her inside. She says she'll tell me when she's ready, and she told a really drunk friend of hers, but it's still hurting her.

I hate seeing her suffer lke this. I wish she would tell me, because I think if she told someone it could help. Of course, I could be totally wrong. But I'm worried for her.

She's my best friend.

Speaking of best friends, yesterday I realized that someone I used to consider my best friend doesn't...care. He only pretends he does.

I'm sorry for complaining like this. I know a lot of people say you shouldn't bring personal stuff into the Bar Room, but I had to tell someone. I really have very few people to talk to.

What should I do? Should I just not let it get to me?

 

[a0161613]

Don't worry Doc. Shit like this will sort itself out. Girls are complicated.

 

[Planty]

I know EXACTLY how you feel Doc.

I love my best friend as a friend (Well, as more than a friend too but lets forget that for a sec) and she's female also.

She's upset about things from time to time and she wants to keep it in. Though whenever she tells me problems, I've always been the one to solve them or make her feel better. So I feel "what's different about this one?" when she doesn't want to tell me.

I guess you can only just keep telling her: "You know I'm here for you when you need me". You can't exactly force her to let her know what's up even though you know you could make her feel ten times better just by listening. It is one of those things, even though seeing her upset just totally weighs on your mind and kills you inside.

I whole heartedly understand man.

 

[Dave]

Allow Dave to step up to bat this one,

So, I have a friend. I feel a very deep affection for this girl. Not romantic, but I love her like a friend.

Anyway, there is something really weighing on her mind. She won't tell me what it is but it's really eating her inside. She says she'll tell me when she's ready, and she told a really drunk friend of hers, but it's still hurting her.

I hate seeing her suffer lke this. I wish she would tell me, because I think if she told someone it could help. Of course, I could be totally wrong. But I'm worried for her.

She's my best friend.

It sounds to me that she is doing some personal things. When my Gran died I liked to keep it all inside. There was only a few people on here that I told about it when it happened and I am more comfortable now. However, I never told anyone in my actual lofe outside these forum walls. Sometimes people just like to keep some things to themselves and deal with it that way. I am sure that if it is important to her and she feels the same way about you, in a friendship way, she will eventually come to you and tell you what is going on. The best thing you can do is allow her to have some space and ensure that she knows that you are always available to talk about anything. It is important not to push her into it but just lend an ear, IF NEED BE.

Speaking of best friends, yesterday I realized that someone I used to consider my best friend doesn't...care. He only pretends he does.

I'm sorry for complaining like this. I know a lot of people say you shouldn't bring personal stuff into the Bar Room, but I had to tell someone. I really have very few people to talk to.

What should I do? Should I just not let it get to me?

Your "friend" sounds like an utter fool. Why would you pretend to be someone's friend? That is just fucking ludicrous. Here is the solution to that one. Either stop talking to him because he is clearly a twat-waffle or give him a swift boot to the stones.

 

[Coco]

Caring about people is a messy ordeal. I feel the pain, Doctor.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I feel only contempt for my fellow human being. I'm so lonely.

 

[Coco]

That can be messy, too. Indifference is probably the way to go.

 

[ZeroVX]

See, NOW I'm pissed.

I was going to drop some advice on you, as I'm sometimes in a similar situation with a friend of mine, when:

I know EXACTLY how you feel Doc.

I love my best friend as a friend (Well, as more than a friend too but lets forget that for a sec) and she's female also.

She's upset about things from time to time and she wants to keep it in. Though whenever she tells me problems, I've always been the one to solve them or make her feel better. So I feel "what's different about this one?" when she doesn't want to tell me.

I guess you can only just keep telling her: "You know I'm here for you when you need me". You can't exactly force her to let her know what's up even though you know you could make her feel ten times better just by listening. It is one of those things, even though seeing her upset just totally weighs on your mind and kills you inside.

I whole heartedly understand man.

He basically said what I was going to say to a T.

Point is, these things tend to happen from time to time. Not every aspect of a person's life is something they want out in the open.

I'm sure that whatever the problem is, your friend will tell you. It may take a while, but she will. Just keep showing support for her, and she'll open up to you.

As for this other guy who's pretending to be your friend, tell him to fuck off and die. Not necessarily in that order.

 

[Coco]

So nobody is going to tell him not to worry about everyone's problems and that he shouldn't try to be a savior?

Boo.

 

[C.M.]

I'm kind of in a similar situation.

 

[Miko]

You shouldnt worry about everyones problems and try to be a saviour

 

[Coco]

You shouldnt worry about everyones problems and try to be a saviour

That's pretty cold.

See, now we've got a proper discussion going.

 

[Miko]

I like think with that attitude I am doing people a favour, reminds them they are not the be all and end all of the world

 

[ABMorales787]

Just stay close by and show you care. When the time comes she'll you knowing she can trust you. Its the best you can do for now. You can't force her to tell you.

 

[Loveless]

Anyway, there is something really weighing on her mind. She won't tell me what it is but it's really eating her inside. She says she'll tell me when she's ready, and she told a really drunk friend of hers, but it's still hurting her. I hate seeing her suffer like this. I wish she would tell me, because I think if she told someone it could help. Of course, I could be totally wrong. But I'm worried for her.

OK, she told someone and it didn't help her. Two possible reasons, either the friend was useless or it's something she's not able to help with. It's only going to be more difficult for her to talk to anyone now. In all likelihood she will not tell you if you ask, you're going to have to wait.

What should I do? Should I just not let it get to me?

Tread carefully with this because you could very easily find yourself out of your depth. Trust me, if you're going to ask people to let you in, you better be prepared because this shit goes into some dark places and you'll find out things that you really don't want to know.
Honestly whether you know or not, the best thing to do either way is simply be supportive. You have to be understanding without actually understanding the problem and remember that your feelings are not the priority.

 

[Blade]

Everyone goes through a situation like this at least once in their life and to think otherwise is fucking stupid.

 

[FromTheSouth]

Stop stressing yourself out over someone else's problem. Perstering her to tell you is only going to piss her off more.

If she wants to talk to you, she will.

 

[FromTheSouth]

So nobody is going to tell him not to worry about everyone's problems and that he shouldn't try to be a savior?

Boo.

I did!

 

[Smooth Sexual Chocolate]

1. Acquire adequate foliage

2. "Roll a Phatty"

3. Watch problems disappear

 

[Scotty]

Has anyone stopped to think that maybe the reason she hasn't told you is because the secret is about you, Doc. Maybe she is dealing with some internal struggle over her feelings for you. Just my opinion that you should keep reassuring her that she's your best friend and that it hurts you to see her in this condition. The truth shall set you free.

 

[Theo Mays]

Be there for her Doc, but don't overly be there. Let her know that you care, but don't tell her that every time you see her, as that will most likely get on her nerves. These things will fix themselves and when she wants to tell you, she will tell you. Give her some space and if she is feeling down when you see her tell her that if she wants to talk that you are all ears. But don't tell her that every instance you can, like I said earlier. Just keep your head up Docster, it'll work itself out down the road.

 

[The Doctor]

Maybe. The only hints I've had is that she doesn't want to lose "us", meaning me and her friends.

I'm going to continue being there for her and reassuring her that I'll never leave. It justs hurts to see her suffer like this. I'll try not to badger her though.

I've often wondered if I should care less about peoples' problems. I feel as though worrying about her problems leaves less time for worrying about my own. Then again, I have very few problems in life, other than the loneliness and the math.

As for my former best friend, it's not that he was pretending to be my friend, more that he's turning into a ******** and can't keep his promises.
Believe me, I have no problems with marijuana and alcohol if you're old enough and mature enough to use responsibly, but he's 14. He got "drunk off his ass" at a party over the summer and it really freaked me out. He was totally messed up.
After all that he said he felt terrible about it and for hurting me and the girl like that (It was his irresponsibility that hurt, and he also said some things to us). He said he wouldn't drink or do drugs until he was old enough to handle them. I mean, Jesus, he's 14...

Well he's been lying to me. He took ecstasy AT SCHOOL after an exam because he had nothing better to do. He's gotten high a load.

I'm in no way straight edge. I like alcohol (though I never go out drinking or anything; I mainly drink it when I visit Europe) and think marijuana should be legalized, but...he's totally fucking up his life. He's fourteen, for God's sake.

I feel like the world is passing me by. I hear about the kind of things kids my age are up to and I'm shocked. It's stupid, I know, and I'm certainly not naive enough to think it doesn't happen, but it's so...weird.

It's hard to explain.

 

[ABMorales787]

I find it funny how people come up with such elaborate solutions for something that really can't be helped much.

 

[Theo Mays]

I've often wondered if I should care less about peoples' problems. I feel as though worrying about her problems leaves less time for worrying about my own. Then again, I have very few problems in life, other than the loneliness and the math.

I find myself thinking this all the time. In fact my friends instantly come to me with their problems (even something they can sort out themselves) as they believe whatever I tell them is actually going to help. Lately I just haven't cared and haven't helped them out as I'm finally putting myself first. And Doc your problems are my problems (except sub in school in general in for math).

 

[Coco]

Just my opinion that you should keep reassuring her that she's your best friend and that it hurts you to see her in this condition.

No.

You do that once at best.

Don't come on too strong.