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How would you handle teenage pregnancy?

Captain Morgan Freeman

Taught Elvis how to play karate
Pregnancy at any age is a life changing thing but at a young age and especially when unplanned can really turn your life upside down and make you change your priorities in life.
The reason i bring this up is last month one of my best friends and his girlfriend of two years gave birth to a baby boy. I can still remember the jaw dropping moment 7 months ago when he told me that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant. While i was full of support for him at the time i wondered how he would handle such a life changing event in his life.

You see my best friend has always had a laid back attitude to life. He's always been a joker and the only things he took seriously were football and his girlfriend. But over Christmas i was over at his girlfriends house and i was blown away with how responsible he was being. He regularly asked her how she was feeling every day and kept on top of little things like making sure she never had too much caffeine during the day and moving things around to accommodate her no matter what it meant. It's fair to say he really dove it with both feet and did(and still is doing) everything he can for his girlfriend and kid. One thing worth noting is that he always had a very close relationship with his girlfriend and many people realistically saw them getting married a few years down the line even before the news of the pregnancy came along, that definitely made it easier for him to commit to this in the way he has.

So the questions i ask to you guys are
In your teenage years how would you handle the initial shock of leaning that you or your partner had become pregnant and at that age how much would you be willing to give up for the child?
In my opinion upon hearing the news it would take a few days for me to get my head straight and really understand the gravity of the situation at hand while also getting advice from my family and any people i knew who had been in a similar situation. Id like to think that after hearing the news id be able to dive in with both feet and really take on all the responsibility like my friend has.
In terms of how much i would be willing to give up unless i was in the last year of my college degree then i would have no problem leaving the course and getting a job to support the child. If i was in my last year of college after putting 3 years into a four year degree it wouldn't make sense to quit that far in considering i would be able to get a much better job afterwards and provide a better life for the child. If such a situation was to arise i'd have to reluctantly rely on my parents to help look after the child while i was at college. I say reluctantly because im quite a proud person when it comes to asking people for help and i don't like burdening people but in a situation like this i would have more then just myself to look out for.

How much of a difference would it make if the other parent was a long term partner or a one night stand?
For me it would make a really big difference, if ive been in a long term relationship when it happens then i can imagine what things will be like in the future as i would have known my partner for a long time. If it happened as a result of a random one night stand then i would make a real effort to make things work for the sake of the child but it really would be stepping into unknown territory. I could end up not having anything in common and just not clicking with the girl which could end up putting more pressure on what already a high pressure situation.

If you felt you weren't ready to take up so much responsibility at a young age, would you consider adoption
If i had the choice i would only do it under extreme circumstances. If i didn't feel i could provide a good life for the child and both the mother and both sets of parents weren't able to look after the child then it would be something i would have to consider. Id never consider abortion, it's something im completely against and even if the mother wanted to i just couldn't see myself letting it happen. While adoption could cause problems for the child in the future when they have to finally hear the fact at a later age it's still a million times better then abortion in my view.
 
In your teenage years how would you handle the initial shock of leaning that you or your partner had become pregnant and at that age how much would you be willing to give up for the child?

When I was a teenager, there actually was an instance where my girlfriend at the time thought she was pregnant. I have to say, it made my head spin, to say the least. Although it turned out she wasn't, the possibility was very real for a short time. I think it's very hard to fully wrap your mind around that kind of situation at that age. When you're that young, you're just not used to considering things like that which will have life-long consequences (in most cases anyway, I know some have it worse than others). Additionally, it's usually hard to know or anticipate every little eventuality of a certain situation when you've never gone through it before. So to fully understand the consequences of having a baby when you're a teenager is pretty tough, IMO. Like I said, I was freaking out quite a bit, and my situation turned out to be a false alarm anyway. If it had been real, I have to think it would have taken quite a while for me to fully come to terms with it. Probably several weeks. As for how much I would give up, I'd like to think I'd be willing to give up quite a bit, but it's hard to say for sure without knowing exactly what my circumtances would be when I found out. My thoughts on college are pretty similar to yours, though.

How much of a difference would it make if the other parent was a long term partner or a one night stand?

I think it would make a huge difference. If she were a long term partner, you could reasonably plan on being together and probably raising the child together for a long time. You would have a better idea what to expect from them as a person and as a parent. It would probably make it a little less scary as well, since you'd be facing the situation with someone you love (presumably), and you could be sure they would be by your side. If it were a one night stand, I think it would be a lot easier to feel like you were going into the situation more on your own. Not that the other parent wouldn't take responsibility, but they wouldn't necessarily be there for you as well, the way a long term partner would. Plus, it would be more to consider and work out, with scheduling who would have the child at certain times, who buys what, etc. Also, if it ends up that you and the other person aren't that compatible, it could put a lot of strain on whatever relationship you end up having. They may not have the same parenting values as you. It would be a lot tougher.

If you felt you weren't ready to take up so much responsibility at a young age, would you consider adoption

I would definitely consider adoption if I thought the mother and I were not really capable or in a position to provide a good life for the child. I also think that it's a much better option than abortion. I would like to think I'd make every effort to keep the child in my care, but you have to consider their well being down the road. If thei life would be markedly better elsewhere, that may be the way to go.
 
Id never consider abortion, it's something im completely against and even if the mother wanted to i just couldn't see myself letting it happen.

You make it sound as if it's strictly up to you, but you can't control it if she decides to have one. She may let you have input into the decision.....or she may not. (This statement isn't designed to spur an argument as to whether abortion should/should not be legal. Right now......it is).

Look, I understand this topic isn't just about abortion. Also, I can appreciate the responsible outlook you're espousing throughout your entire post; many, many guys who get girls pregnant don't show the same level of responsibility you do, so I commend you for it.

Just keep in mind that the decision about how to handle this pregnancy lies with two people, not just one......and it's her body. I would like to think every woman chooses to share the decisions that must be made, but it's not always so.
 
Interesting enough, my son was born when my ex-girlfriend and I were both in high school. She was a senior and I was a sophomore. So as a proud father of a now four year old son, I can say that this was one of the biggest mistakes I made, but I would never change it for the world.


In your teenage years how would you handle the initial shock of leaning that you or your partner had become pregnant and at that age how much would you be willing to give up for the child?

Really, when my ex told me she was pregnant, I pulled the typical high school jock move. I told her it wasn't mine because I had only had protected sex with her. Turns out, there's a reason why they say there's no way to fully stop pregnancies... other than not having sex. Of course, even after she told me that she was pregnant with my child, she and I still waited to see if she got her period.

Time went by and her stomach started to get a little bigger. Of course, over that time I began to accept the fact that I was going to be a father. I was given a gift from God that just happened to be delivered by Satan. Not that my ex was bad to deal with during her pregnancy nor that my son is bad now, but the timing of things could've been far better.

Plus, I realized that if I continued to deny my son as my son, he would end up with the same biological father I had... and I don't want my baby boy growing up to live that life.

How much of a difference would it make if the other parent was a long term partner or a one night stand?

Being that my ex and I were dating for 3 months prior, I would say that being together so long before her being pregnant was a lot easier for us to get along.

If you felt you weren't ready to take up so much responsibility at a young age, would you consider adoption?

Adoption was considered. The two of us never wanted to go the abortion route, and despite what others may think, that should never be an option UNLESS it injures the mother or the baby... At the time, we were both young and naive. We didn't think that either of us could be responsible enough to raise a child, and we really were close to going that route. But then, her mother came to me and we sat down for a talk. She told me that it would be a nightmare to see her grandson or granddaughter (we didn't know until the day our son was born) be given up on by two parents who would love that baby to death.

So ultimately, we decided to keep Dominic and we were even close to being married at one point... but unfortunately, things happen. Fortunately though, we both still make sure that our son comes close.
 
I was already a teenager. Teens are naturally weak-minded and sexual intercourse is a strong urge to resist. I've seen pregnant teens. Lovely seeing one at the gynecologist while my mother was getting a check-up (she's currently pregnant too). I asked who the "daddy" was. Her response? "*sigh* I think it's -name-." The funny part was the childish tone she used. The funnier part was her mother laughing at it. The funniest part was me telling her where her ignorance led her. The punchline was their apathy about it. When 14-15 year old turns 30 and is in an apartment living off child support with 3 daddy-less kids, well maybe she'll realize what she did. I won't hold my breath though. With parents seeing it as a normal activity more and more each day, people will eventually forget what a condom is. Or even what "cum in her face" means.

As for me, I kinda thank God I had a sister when I was 12. I got most of the riggers of being a parent without actually being one. Scared the crap out of me when discussing sex. "A blowjob will do for me". Yeah, everyone glared, but whatever. Another one is on the way. And once again, I am scared... Cumless.
 
In your teenage years how would you handle the initial shock of leaning that you or your partner had become pregnant and at that age how much would you be willing to give up for the child?

I'd shit my pants and run for the hills. Being twenty I believe I'm still technically a teenager, not actually fully sure on the basis of teenager to man, but right now if I were to be told I'd helped conceive a child, I'd probably deny it at first because I'm safe anyway before asking for a test. I'm extremely cautious and am in no way interested in having children until like, my thirties, plus money-wise I'd be completely fucked.

How much of a difference would it make if the other parent was a long term partner or a one night stand?

If it was a one night stand, obviously chances are you'd no little about the person, they could have serious issues, could have a problem with drugs, alcohol or just be a complete and utter ****e, for lack of a better word. Trust issues would fall into place, cause you don't know anything about the persons morals, their personality; waking up after one night stands is awkward enough for me, fathering a child, nah I think I'll pass. If it was with someone I was in a relationship with, at least there is a basis there to move forward which is a positive thing.

If you felt you weren't ready to take up so much responsibility at a young age, would you consider adoption?

Although it is illegal over here in the Emerald Isle, I'd actually consider the more permanent solution of abortion. I know it sounds callous and crude but some people just know when it isn't right, I'm not stating I would or I'm for it, but in the appropiate situation I would consider abortion. In-terms of your question, I'd also consider having someone adopt the child, It'd be my more favorable choice.
 
Since I'm a guy I would like to think that I would do what the girl thought was best and would support that decision the best I could, no matter if it was a one night stand or a long time girlfriend.

It may sound like the safe answer sure but at the end of the day it ultimately wouldn't be my decision, it would be hers so you got to be a man and face the music. Afterall if you got a girl pregnant you screwed up so you have to do what's best. If you didn't want to get pregnant don't put yourself in a position where it happens, girls go on the pill, guys wrap the dick, pretty simple stuff.

If you get someone pregnant be prepared to become a dad because it may come down to it. It maybe hard and you may not want that but you can't let a baby suffer because you fucked up. Just my opinion.
 
In your teenage years how would you handle the initial shock of leaning that you or your partner had become pregnant and at that age how much would you be willing to give up for the child?

I almost had to deal with this. I was trying to break up with one girl that started taking our relationship far too seriously (I wanted something casual and ongoing, she wanted a husband). Long story short, she got the vibe that I wanted to break it off so she told me that she was pregnant and she's sure it's mine. If you've never felt your heart stop, its a crazy experience. I started panicking and going nuts, thinking what the hell I was going to, how would I tell my parents, would I have to drop out to start working full time. I tried to discuss aborting it with her, but it was a short discussion since she wasn't interested. Eventually I found out (right before I was about to tell my parents!) that she was a lying, good for nothing piece of shit bitch. So I confronted her about this with all the anger and rage of a teenager. In response, she claimed she had cancer. Lol.

How much of a difference would it make if the other parent was a long term partner or a one night stand?

It makes a huge difference. There's high likelihood that a one-night stand partner would not be reliable for the long-term. There's always the optino of raising the kid separately, but I would tend to avoid that if I had a kid.

If you felt you weren't ready to take up so much responsibility at a young age, would you consider adoption?

Never. I know friends that have adopted, but it's just not for me.
 

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