Foreplay

[Total Impact]

I hope this is the right forum to post this in, here it goes...

Quick story, you judge for yourself if it’s real or a fake.

Me and my friend, I won’t say girlfriend, because what we are doing is just having a good time, were at my house.

Well I kind got in the mood and you could say I was “hungry.”

Now if you know me, you know that I’m a chicken type man, but I wasn’t in the mood for breast, and I wasn’t in the mood for thighs, but I could go for something in between.

So I made my move trying to let her know that I was “hungry.” She knows me very well and was quick to say, “I’m not in the mood right now, I don’t feel like cooking.” So I said, “Please, I really need to get over this hunger,” but she said, “Not now, maybe later.”

So I pleaded with her, and begged and said “Just give me a 20 minute meal,” but she said no. So I asked, “What about a 15 minute meal,” but she just said not now. Well I was like, “How about a 10 minute meal, hell just give me a two minute quick meal and I’d be straight.”

But she was like, “No, I don’t feel like it.” Well I was like, “I know your oven real well, so you really don‘t have to do much, just lay there, and hell just let me stick my head in and let me see if I come…….out with something good to eat.”

“I mean I might have a nice size piece of meat to cook, but you got a good oven so it shouldn’t take me that long.”

So after 20 minutes of begging, she finally said, “Yes, yes, yes… you want to put you meat in my oven, then come on, put a little foil around it and get ready.”

So as I prepared “cook,” she said, “Wait, you got to warm this oven up, do some foreplay on this oven.”

Well I just looked at her, smiled and said, “What the hell do you call 20 minutes begging, I sure as hell wasn’t making an order.”

So the stupid moral of this story is, in 2008, 20 minutes of begging is the new foreplay.

 

[Capt. Charisma]

Can't be bothered readin that, it's like one of Slyfox's posts, is it funny?

 

[Lil Wes]

But she was like, “No, I don’t feel like it.” Well I was like, “I know your oven real well, so you really don‘t have to do much, just lay there, and hell just let me stick my head in and let me see if I come…….out with something good to eat.”

^^

Cracked me up.

 

[The_Real_WrestleManiac]

Good stuff, kinda thought it was going to end in him saying something like "no woman I want a sandwich not sex" or something.

 

[C.M.]

^^

Cracked me up.

Indeed

 

[HBK-aholic]

Lol

 

[Jonny B]

The morale of this post....

"I'm a sad internet poster who feels the need to claim I have sex all the time"

What a fucking loser.

 

[Luther_Hull]

I line dem bitches up and spank 'em. Then I get my10 incher out and the fun begins. Dem ho's don't know what's hit 'em.

 

[Lil Wes]

I line dem bitches up and spank 'em. Then I get my10 incher out and the fun begins. Dem ho's don't know what's hit 'em.

Sigged.

 

[HBK-aholic]

I'm a Team Wes member? Lol

 

[Freedom 35]

Team Freedoms better

you get the first lady spot and a more valued position

 

[Lil Wes]

Yes.

 

[HBK-aholic]

Lol okay.

 

[Freedom 35]

Team Freedoms the place to be

 

[Total Impact]

The morale of this post....

"I'm a sad internet poster who feels the need to claim I have sex all the time"

What a fucking loser.

No is just a funny stupid story. Has nothing to do with sex all of the time. Hell if someone is begging, then I doubt they are even good at it anyway. It's just a funny story I actually told my class before I began my lecture.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Foreplay? Is that the shit you do before sex?

 

[Total Impact]

Yes foreplay is what you do before sex, like kissing a girl on the neck,breast, thighs, lips or whatever places you like putting your lips. Foreplay is a tool to get the girl warmed up for sex.

As far as the story, its just a story, don't take it real. My students seemed to like the story when I told it.

 

[Lil Wes]

I use to have a teacher named Mr Collins. He was a creepy bug eyed motherfucker. Hated that guy

 

[C.M.]

I use to have a teacher named Mr Collins. He was a creepy bug eyed motherfucker. Hated that guy

Was he a wrestling fan?

 

[Lil Wes]

Was he a wrestling fan?

I don't know he only talked about snails and shit.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Foreplay is a tool to get the girl warmed up for sex.

I am no woman. I can get an erection straight away. So if she wants warming up she can do it herself while I watch an episode of The Shield. Then she can shout down ''Honey, I'm cooked''

 

[Total Impact]

I am no woman. I can get an erection straight away. So if she wants warming up she can do it herself while I watch an episode of The Shield. Then she can shout down ''Honey, I'm cooked''

I should add that to the story.

Also I'm a grad assistant at college, so I can tell these type of stories without getting in trobule which is so cool, but in August, I'll be teaching at this high school which I can't tell this story.