Do you give the ring back?

[Fuel The Fire]

Thought this would be a fun conversation.
Lets say you get engaged and for some reason its off. You ask the girl for the engagement ring back but...she refuses to give it back and says that it is a gift.

Do you consider this to be a gift? Should she give the ring back?
By law she can keep the ring back if she was proposed to on a gift giving holiday.
Do you agree?

 

[justinsayne]

Why the fuck would she want to keep it, the engagement ring is a symbol of how much you love that person, and an pricey one at that, if you're broken up and looking to move on then it only makes sense that you would give the ring back, especially if the guy is still making payments on it, if the ring is payed for and says she can keep it than so be it, however if he wants the ring back she should give it back, the only reason I could see for a girl wanting to keep the ring is to sell it

 

[It's Damn Real!]

She keeps it and I send her nude photos all over the internet.

 

[One Punch Doug Crashin]

She keeps it and I send her nude photos all over the internet.

And the sex tape too.

 

[D-Man]

Why the fuck would she want to keep it

Because women are ***** at times. No, not "cunt" in the European definition. I mean the NASTY word, cunt. The word we use as the ultimate insult for a woman.

Marriage and engagement are such big deals to women to the point where it makes them borderline crazy. Ironically enough, I was listening to a similar subject on the radio the other day...

They were taking calls from women who planned their wedding and bought their dresses even BEFORE they were engaged. Some of those women didn't even have boyfriends yet!! I mean, seriously... what could possibly motivate a woman to do such a thing?

Chicks are just psychotic and stupid, sometimes.

 

[Chardee Macdennis]

Because women are ***** at times. No, not "cunt" in the European definition. I mean the NASTY word, cunt. The word we use as the ultimate insult for a woman.

Marriage and engagement are such big deals to women to the point where it makes them borderline crazy. Ironically enough, I was listening to a similar subject on the radio the other day...

They were taking calls from women who planned their wedding and bought their dresses even BEFORE they were engaged. Some of those women didn't even have boyfriends yet!! I mean, seriously... what could possibly motivate a woman to do such a thing?

Chicks are just psychotic and stupid, sometimes.

So, then yes, she should give it back?

Of course she should give it back. Though, I've heard many stories of women wanting to keep the ring in this situation. Even stories of women that broke off the engagement still wanting to keep the ring. This is ridiculous. The ring is supposed to be a symbol of your intention to marry someone. Should that intention become reversed, the ring's entire meaning is moot. That being said, the man should then have the ring to do as he wishes, even if that wish is to, further down the line, use it as the symbol it was originally intended for, with a different person. However, the man should NEVER tell the new women, the ring's original purpose, or the man may find himself in possession of the ring once again.

 

[MrHashasheen]

Fuck yes. I give a woman a ring and she breaks it off, I want the ring back. Doesn't matter if it was my grandmother's ring or if I bought it specially for her. I want it back.

As for giving it to another woman afterwords, doubtful. If it was a family thing, maybe, but otherwise, I'd just sell it.

 

[hatehabsforever]

I say no, she should not give the ring back. If you gave her the ring as a gift, then it is hers. You cannot give her a present, albeit a pricey and engagment-specific one, and then expect it back when things don't work out. You have to realize when you give her the ring that sometimes, these things don't work out, so you "pay your money and take your chances," as the old expression goes. You need to try to be as certain as you can be when you give it to her, but despite that, there's no guarantees. It's her ring, she can sell it, give it away, flush it down the toilet if she wants to.

Plus, why would you even want it back? You probably aren't going to give it to a different woman (bad karma, plus a smack in the head if she finds out she's getting a second-hand ring). If you sell it or bring it to a pawn shop, you're getting squat for a second hand ring.

Cut your losses, and better luck next time.

 

[It's Damn Real!]

It's not a "present". It's a fucking engagement ring.

Buying the bitch a necklace for your anniversary is a present. Buying her an ENGAGEMENT ring is something entirely different.

She shouldn't want to keep it anyway.

 

[Fuel The Fire]

The thing is guys, don't propose on a gift giving holiday because if you do by law she can keep the ring. Other wise you can get the ring back.

Id like to see a woman's perspective on this topic. where is becca?

 

[hatehabsforever]

It's not a "present". It's a fucking engagement ring.

Buying the bitch a necklace for your anniversary is a present. Buying her an ENGAGEMENT ring is something entirely different.

She shouldn't want to keep it anyway.

Speaking from personal experience, some women do elect to keep their engagement rings and/or wedding rings after things go awry. And that's perfectly find with me, what the hell do I want it back for?

The ring is given at a time when things are obviously OK. If things go south, that's too bad. It definitely is a present, at least that's how I felt about it. The only exception to this rule would be if it were some sort of family heirloom (your mother's or grandmother's ring or something like this). Sure it isn't a present like a necklace or a Christmas gift, but it's a present nontheless. it's in poor taste to ask for it back. If she offers, I guess it's OK to take it back but if she doesn't, sorry bud, your loss, and you move on.

 

[It's Damn Real!]

Speaking from personal experience, some women do elect to keep their engagement rings and/or wedding rings after things go awry. And that's perfectly find with me, what the hell do I want it back for?

The ring is given at a time when things are obviously OK. If things go south, that's too bad. It definitely is a present, at least that's how I felt about it. The only exception to this rule would be if it were some sort of family heirloom (your mother's or grandmother's ring or something like this). Sure it isn't a present like a necklace or a Christmas gift, but it's a present nontheless. it's in poor taste to ask for it back. If she offers, I guess it's OK to take it back but if she doesn't, sorry bud, your loss, and you move on.

So you've dropped two g's on a ring—err, sorry, "present" before, and didn't want the thing back?

It's called cutting your losses. Even if you can get $1G back, that's better than being $2G in debt while the cunt turns around and sells the thing for profit herself.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Because women are ***** at times. No, not "cunt" in the European definition.

The Belgians don't even understand it. Well, at least that one Belgian hotel clerk that I called a "jobsworthy cunt". I think. He didn't fine me that 1,000 euros he was threatening to at least.

 

[hatehabsforever]

So you've dropped two g's on a ring—err, sorry, "present" before, and didn't want the thing back?

It's called cutting your losses. Even if you can get $1G back, that's better than being $2G in debt while the cunt turns around and sells the thing for profit herself.

There's no way you are recovering 50% of the original cost of the ring by selling it second hand, in fact, nowhere close. So your in debt anyway. Plus, there's a lot more to it in a situation like this than just money.

I didn't want it back, and I have no idea what the "cunt" did with the ring. I like to think she may have kept it and has it put away to give to my daughter when she's an adult, but it's probably naive of me to think it. My guess is she sold it, and to be honest, I don't really care what she did with it. Either way, I didn't want it. There was no financial incentive to get it back, and as I said, bad karma in asking for the thing back. Not like I was planning on re-gifting it to someone else.

The engagement ring is representative of the way things were when you gave it. It was intended to be unconditional. So it's inconsistent to ask for it back, legalities of it all aside.

 

[Chardee Macdennis]

The engagement ring is representative of the way things were when you gave it. It was intended to be unconditional. So it's inconsistent to ask for it back, legalities of it all aside.

I disagree! The "marriage" had it taken place, would be intended to be unconditional. The "engagement ring", in my opinion is something totally different. Engagements are not sworn statements, in a house of GOD, in front of friends and relatives, that this thing will last forever unconditionally. Marriage, it least the old definition of marriage, was supposed be the thing that bound the two of you together, forever. If that was the engagement rings purpose, why even get married?

 

[Loveless]

Thought this would be a fun conversation.
Lets say you get engaged and for some reason its off. You ask the girl for the engagement ring back but...she refuses to give it back and says that it is a gift.

Do you consider this to be a gift? Should she give the ring back?
By law she can keep the ring back if she was proposed to on a gift giving holiday.
Do you agree?

I think by law she's supposed to give it back. I can't remember exactly what law but the ring is supposed to be a promise of the marriage to come and if that marriage isn't coming, there's no need for the ring.
Put it this way, if you ask someone to marry you and they say no, you don't then give them the ring anyway

 

[Fuel The Fire]

I think by law she's supposed to give it back. I can't remember exactly what law but the ring is supposed to be a promise of the marriage to come and if that marriage isn't coming, there's no need for the ring.
Put it this way, if you ask someone to marry you and they say no, you don't then give them the ring anyway

Yes she is suppose to give it back unless she is proposed to on a gift giving holiday then she can keep it if she wants.

 

[secret titan]

From what I have heard, the ring symbolizes a contract of marriage. If it's called off, the ring is legally supposed to go to whomever paid for it since the contract is broken. There are other stipulations to this of course, but basically it should go back to the guy, since he should be the one paying for it.

 

[It's Damn Real!]

There's no way you are recovering 50% of the original cost of the ring by selling it second hand, in fact, nowhere close. So your in debt anyway. Plus, there's a lot more to it in a situation like this than just money.

I didn't want it back, and I have no idea what the "cunt" did with the ring. I like to think she may have kept it and has it put away to give to my daughter when she's an adult, but it's probably naive of me to think it. My guess is she sold it, and to be honest, I don't really care what she did with it. Either way, I didn't want it. There was no financial incentive to get it back, and as I said, bad karma in asking for the thing back. Not like I was planning on re-gifting it to someone else.

The engagement ring is representative of the way things were when you gave it. It was intended to be unconditional. So it's inconsistent to ask for it back, legalities of it all aside.

So is breaking off the engagement in the first place, dude. All previous constructions of unspoken rules and laws go out the window. It wasn't a gift — it was an intention to wed. We are no longer to be wed, so I want my intention back, even if it means I only get $200 for a ring I spent $2,000 on.

 

[Chardee Macdennis]

So is breaking off the engagement in the first place, dude. All previous constructions of unspoken rules and laws go out the window. It wasn't a gift — it was an intention to wed. We are no longer to be wed, so I want my intention back, even if it means I only get $200 for a ring I spent $2,000 on.

Fucking EXACTLY.

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

Here's the general rule (assuming you bought the ring and gave it to her): if she breaks it off, she gives it back; if you break it off, she keeps it.

 

[Mustang Sally]

Because women are ***** at times. No, not "cunt" in the European definition. I mean the NASTY word, cunt. The word we use as the ultimate insult for a woman.

I notice that a lot of guys on this forum also apply that delightful term to men whom they're looking to insult. One of you even has it as his forum name.


**********

As to the question at hand, an engagement ring is given in consideration of an impending marriage. If the marriage doesn't take place, the ring goes back to whomever bought it.

That's what Judge Judy says, anyway.

 

[Slyfox696]

That's what Judge Judy says, anyway.

It was on People's Court the other day, as well, one of the few times I've seen People's Court in the last few years. The case revolved around money, but the ring would fall into the same category. The judge called it a "conditional gift". It is a gift given on the condition of marriage. It is understood that when a women accepts an engagement ring, she does so with the knowledge it is given only to be kept should a wedding occur.

So yeah, you get the ring back.

 

[Phoenix]

My ex was proposed to by her first boyfriend, she said no and still kept the ring. I had no fucking idea why, think she said her reason was she liked the ring and he forgot to ask for it back. She still kept of it when we were dating, she actually gave it away when a friend of hers was going to propose to his girlfriend. Think she said no and my ex got the ring back.

Women are strange creatures indeed. I would only ever get an engagement ring if the woman I'm with is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, so I doubt I'm going to break off the engagement, if she does, damn right I'm getting the ring back! Why throw away that money because of a girlfriend not wanting to be with you? Saying no or breaking off the engagement is effectively dismissing the ring as a gift, she has no reason to have it.

 

[hatehabsforever]

Here we are, halfway through page three of this thread. Is there anyone out there who actually agrees with me here, and would not want the ring back?

I don't get what you would want the ring back for anyway? Bad karma. You can't really give it to someone else. You won't get squat by selling it. I don't care what Judy freaking' Judy says about it. It's not a question of what the law says, it's a question of right or wrong.

Actually, tdigs probably has it right. It all comes down to the circumstances. Who breaks the engagement, why, etc., it just doesn't seem right to me to give someone a ring, then ask for it back later.