Do you care if your partner isn't a virgin?

[Richard]

Quite simply, when you get a new girlfriend or boyfriend and you're just starting out and you're at the stage before you've had sex with them, do you care if they aren't a virgin and have had sex before you?

I know that this question might not be suitable for people in their late twenties or early thirties as a lot of people have lost it anyway by then but this is mainly for people who are in their teens and very early twenties in particular.

Me personally, it doesn't really matter and it's not the end of the world if they're not a virgin just as long as they havn't been a **** and slept around with heaps of people. That being said, I don't like to picture my girlfriend with anyone else when it comes up in conversation but it's really not the end of the world.

I ask this question because I know two people who will only date virgins and that's it and I think that's not right because 1. You might miss out on someone awesome and 2. You can't go dating virgins your entire life when you're 50 and looking for a 17, 18, 19 year old virgin.

I just know a lot a few people who freak out about it so I just want to know what everyone else thinks about it.

 

[lenguy]

I don't see how it would matter. Virgin or not, if anything if your partner is a virgin then it could swing both ways. If shes not then depending on how many guys shes been with before you, she might have more "experience". If she is a virgin then you don't get all that, all you really get is a tight pussy with none of the added bonuses of somebody that has a bit of experience in the sexual field.

For me I could really care less if she had sex before me, chances are they will be pretty high. As long as she don't mess around with somebody else while shes with me then I really couldn't give much of a thought to the other peoples shes slept around with. I personally prefer a women who knows what shes doing rather than somebody constantly asking...did I do that right? .....Uh yeah, sure baby...but maybe next time...use more tongue and less teeth.

I ask this question because I know two people who will only date virgins and that's it and I think that's not right because 1. You might miss out on someone awesome and 2. You can't go dating virgins your entire life when you're 50 and looking for a 17, 18, 19 year old virgin.

Some people are virgins by choice, or maybe is against their religion to have sex before marriage. One of my closest friends is my age and hasn't even had a boyfriend yet...actually I'm not even sure shes even kissed a guy for that matter. We all have a theory that shes got some kind of man phobia or something but she assures us that shes just looking out for that special someone. Which can be hard to find if you don't put yourself on the market, but bottom line is that's her choice and I won't question it.

 

[Xemmy]

I prefer a girl who's had sex before. Alot of guys like to pretend that their girl is a virgin. They just want to imagine it fresh out of the box; they'd blow packing peanuts off of it if they could convince themselves more.

Personally, I like to be with a girl that knows what she's doing. And chances are, if she's the kind of girl that gets around, I wouldn't have hooked up with her in the first place. Of course then we have to draw a line at what makes a girl a ****. As long as she's not a party animal with a different boyfriend every month, I'm not complaining. Why? Because she's got experience, and I'll be wearing a condom. Having sex with a virgin is terrible. I constantly worried about whether or not she was comfortable, and I didn't enjoy myself. I did get a brief bit of self confidence when she told her girlfriends that I was good....but then I thought, "How the fuck is a virgin suppose to know?" XD

To add to the subject, a girlfriend getting around a little bit doesn't bother me too much. Hell, as long as I like the guy, I don't mind her wanting more than one person. It doesn't bother me. I don't own her body. And people are generally attracted to more than one person. Just don't break the boundary of trust.

Human beings are greedy aren't they? "We want virgins!" "I want this one!" "I want that one!" XD

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

I could have seen myself dating one, but I would never, ever have married one (even if she gave it up to me before marriage). Most women are just like most men if they haven't had enough sexual experience: likely to go searching for it during their marriage because they didn't the take the time to sow their wild oats before settling down.

Furthermore, everyone here should know how women are: always thinking if they can get anything better and always questioning if they've wasted some of their best years on you; now imagine that problem compounded by the fact that she's only been with you and thus hasn't seen what others have had to offer. It's only when women hit middle age that they're truly grateful for anyone who will show them kindness, respect, and intimate attention. It's just the way it is.

Here's my advice to some of the younger guys here: if a young woman wants you to be her first, go for it. Just know that anything beyond a long-term relationship (without any commitments whatsoever) with her will come back to bite you in the ass.

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

The only virgin I was ever with was the girl I lost my virginity to, and we were together for 6 years. I don't see anything wrong with it either way, but when you're young, I think you want someone who is as experienced as you, because in my own experiences as a young man (ahhh, those were the days!) The more experienced a girl was, the less I thought of her. At MY age, the more experienced the better I say. Im 28 now.

 

[Serious Mozzarella]

The real question is, do I care if my partner has a hymen? No. I'd prefer a no-blood scenario during sex.

Otherwise, virginity is a complete social fabrication that has religious roots (being impure, losing innocence, etc) which I think are bullshit.

 

[The Glamazon]

Before I was married I preferred a man with experience. The only virgin I dated was the one I lost my virginity to and he had no frickin clue. Knowing what you are doing and how to give someone pleasure is more important than being "pure" in my opinion.

 

[Zigglerfan227]

I'm not going to lie, as I finished reading lenguy's post it just made me feel kind of sick. I'm not gonna lie about my sex life either, I have never had sex. I am only 17 years old about to be 18 and I do not look for sex. I do not even care about sex. I'm just being completely honest. Sex will come later and I want it to come after marriage. I would think that sex is a beautiful thing that should be for expressing true love and feelings. I have heard about opening up a virgin's private area and that just sounds so nasty. After reading lenguy's post I might actually try to NOT have sex with a virgin. Haha!! The only thing is, I want a pure woman and not some **** or hoe. I want someone that is going to be true to me in love and not JUST want my body for sex.

 

[Sparky]

I don't see how it would affect the actual person. I guess the only thing that would be different is if you're a virgin and your partner isn't there would be the "am I doin it rite?" thing that could be stressful but other then that being a virgin or not don't change the person. I'm not going to turn down somebody if I was single just because she wasn't a virgin. To be honest I don't think there is a person in tasmania that's legal that still is a virgin...

 

[Nate DaMac]

It's not an issue to me. I've taken the virginity of 2 different girls, but they have been blown out of the water by the more experienced girls I've been with.

This may seem weird, but the one thing I have an issue with is going down on girls who have been with other guys. I've done it to the girls who lost their virginity to me, but I just can't get past the mental barrier of putting my tongue where another man's wrinkle stick has already been. I'm not stupid, I realize there isn't anything wrong with it. I just can't get past it.

 

[The Rob]

I don't mind whatsoever that a girl's not a virgin beforehand. If anything, it's better for me because (without going into too much detail) I'm not exactly the most experienced guy in the world when it comes to sex. I've had it quite a few times but several of my friends have had a number of long-term relationships and have had sex 3 to 4 times a week for 2/3 years straight. The amount of times I've done it pails in comparison. So it's nice for the girl to know what she's doing as well, it makes the experience much more enjoyable.

 

[Dagger Dias]

I had really high standards and was a virgin by choice until a year ago. Virginity was one of my high standards in girls I dated. The older I got, the harder it got to find women who fit that. I simply viewed it as narrowing the list of potentials down to help me find the right one. I turned down countless opportunities and am glad that I stuck to my personal beliefs, I have only done it with one girl. I waited 24 years for her. It was very special for both of us to figure it out together.

Now, for others.... It might be different. There are those who do not share my beliefs about waiting by choice. They might want someone more experienced to show them what to do if they have less experience. Perfectly understandable. Same goes for those who are not waiting by choice and just want experience. Makes a lot of sense that they'd want someone more experienced.

The bottom line is that I did care a great deal about whether my partner still was because if I had waited so long for such a special moment, it would have tarnished it if she had slept around. Same goes if I had given up on waiting before meeting her. It would have made my waiting have been for nothing. Know what I mean? That is just my own personal belief. You may or might not agree with me. Regardless, I stuck to my beliefs and don't regret my choices.

 

[Constipated Badger Bottom]

I'm still at the stage of my life where i'm not actually looking for anything long-term so i'm preety much just sleeping around at the moment (not to well mind i've only slept with 2 women) and I don't really mind if she has slept around alot or is very inexperianced, although if I were to take a girl's virginity in a one night stand then I would probably would be high-fiveing strangers in the street

And even when I am ready to settle down it wouldn't bother me if she had slept around, she was enjoying life the way she wanted to enjoy it regardless of what other people thought and if she loves me and I love her than that's all that really matters

This thread has actually remind me of a clip from the movie "Chasing Amy" here it is
[YOUTUBE]PBlA_fsi_VE[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Calderownz]

Actually, yes I do. I always want to them to have had experience. Doesn't mean that they are ****es. Just some experience. For various reasons.

1. I don't want to be the one that has to deal with taking her virginity. I just don't find the experience to be a pleasant one. I've done it one time and it was just an unpleasant situation.

2. Experience can be a good thing. She knows what she likes and I know what I like. Makes the whole process a lot better and then you get to experience some new things together. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[Hawkeye]

I don't like virgins. They're afraid of the pain and then all those social constraints,ugh. The last girl I was with had experience. She knew how to ride it backwards,how to wrap her legs around me,she even survived the rolling crystal flash! I'm too flexible and freaky for a virgin...

 

[Uncle Phatso]

I've never had sex with a Virgin, but I've only been with a few partners. Really to me the whole mental aspect of it isn't that large of a problem. It's moreso an old bullshit excuse to me. If you have sex before you are maried you will go to hell. Well who honestly cares, the only thing I care about in it is my partner. If my partner loves me I'm perfectly fine with her former sex life. As long as she was safe, I don't want hiv or stds to be honest. That would be the only thing stoping me from having sex with her.

 

[Mustang Sally]

I've taken the virginity of 2 different girls, but they have been blown out of the water by the more experienced girls I've been with.

You've got a good handle on it, but it's apparently a dilemma for some guys: They want a virgin.....yet, at the same time they want the girl to be good in bed!

Some guys want everything, huh?

 

[Dagger Dias]

it's apparently a dilemma for some guys: They want a virgin.....yet, at the same time they want the girl to be good in bed!

Some guys want everything, huh?

You make a valid point, which I'm going to address.

That statement is not always true. For the guys who do have such contradictory thinking, then that's their own problem. It's obvious that if someone's not experienced then they probably won't be particularly "good". Anyone who's never done anything before isn't going to know what to do or how to do it unless they get some practice. So for the guys that do have experience but are seeking a virgin who's "good in bed" then they will spend the rest of their lives looking. Or perhaps they should stick to having some more experienced friends with benefits instead of looking for virgins to date, as it's clear many of them are more interested in getting action rather than sharing a special moment with their partner.

Then there's those who don't care how "good" someone is. That's how it should be, because if one person is more experienced than the other they should be willing to help them figure out what to do if they care about them. I'm a firm believer in the philosophy that not being "good" at any physical act (whether it's sex or even just kissing) is a heartless reason to split up with someone. The more experienced person if they truly care about their partner should be willing to help them figure out what to do. There are those who are lucky enough to find someone close to their level of experience and they have the chance to figure it out together. I know not everyone is lucky enough to get that, so the more experienced person owes it to their partner if they care about them to help them get as "good" as they are expecting out of the experience, or stop having too high expectations when it comes to their partner's sex life from before that relationship.

Kinda lengthy, but this is a topic I'm fairly passionate about. Too many people go about it the wrong way.

 

[wrestlingfan]

As a young teenager myself (13) starting to step into the mid stage of puberty and such I will be watching this interesting discussion just to see other people's points of views.

 

[JWGunslinger]

Dagger I wish I could rep you for your posts on this but I have to wait. It did matter to me when I was searching for the girl of my dreams, I have somewhat high standards and I was fortunate enough to find her by the time I was 17. I was brought up in an episcopal family with 2 preists and an organ player but I realized that was not for me and am the only person in my family who does not go to church. I bring this up because even though I dont agree with everything that I was brought up around it did help me realize my morals. I personally believe that there is one person that you are meant for everyone, and that once you have found that person and know you are going to be together forever that sex is totally cool whether youre married or not. And again let me stress that this is just what I want for me, I have no problems with other people going about it whatever way they want. But I feel that it's so much more special to do it with one person, to learn together and grow together both emotionally and sexually is such a beautiful thing and I wouldnt have it any other way. As I said everyone has their own way, but for me I spend years looking for the princess of my dreams, I wouldnt change a damn thing about it and the wait was well worth it