Dark Match: Thunderlips vs. Bonesaw McGraw

[JGlass]

DARK MATCH: THUNDERLIPS VS. BONESAW MCGRAW

In a fun attempt to bridge the gap between the WrestleZone and BattleZone Tournaments, we present to you a BattleZone first: a dark match between two guys that bridge the gap between professional wrestling and fiction.

In one corner, we have Thunderlips, a professional wrestler that fought Rocky in Rocky III, portrayed by Hulk Hogan. In the opposite corner stands Bonesaw McGraw, a professional cage fighter that takes on Spider-Man in his 2002 cinema debut, portrayed by Randy Savage.

Two men enter, one man leaves! Who's it going to be? It's up to you!

(The poll will be opened in two days and will remain open for 72 hours)

 

[Jack-Hammer]

Bonesaw held his own against Spidey for a little while, getting in some solid offense that should've taken out any normal person. While he ultimately got his ass kicked, he got it kicked by a guy in his prime strong enough to lift about 10 tons over his head, can outrun a cheetah, has agility & reflexes that're the wet dream of an Olympic gymnast and has some degree of superhuman durability.

Thunderlips knocked Rocky around for most of their match with Rocky really only getting in any offense in the last few minutes of their fight before it ended in a draw. Thunderlips played around with Rocky for so long, got overconfident and missed several opportunities to score the win.

While Rocky vs. Thunderlips is the more iconic and well known of these two fictional brawls, I'm going with Bonesaw because I thought it was more impressive to see him hold his own, for a little while anyhow, against a superhumanly athletic man in the prime of his life than for Thunderlips to screw around and be unable to beat an over the hill boxer who, at the time, fought, to quite Mick, "like a damn ape."

 

[Spidey Revivey]

Rocky and Thunderlips fought to a draw. Bonesaw lost against me in two minutes.

But fighting a superhero can't be the same as fighting a regular guy with a raw egg addiction. Bonesaw got a few good licks in, even using a steel chair. Remember before then I had learned of my Spider Sense and used it on Flash. So I don't think it's inaccurate to say Bonesaw is a lot faster than Thunderlips. That and we fought in a steel cage, where I used the stipulation to my advantage in ways no human being could have.

It's also worth mentioning that the Thunderlips/Rocky match was for charity and was all in fun while other men couldn't feel their legs after a Bonesaw Match. Oh yeah Bonesaw fought a guy right before me, and could have beaten several others since they made my match a Steel Cage Match, which is usually reserved for a Main Event. Bonesaw's stamina is practically unrivaled.

Pretty sure the referee gave Bonesaw a 3 Count instead of a normal 10. I won by questionable means.

He's faster, he's tougher, and he's ready. Vote Bonesaw.

 

[enviousdominous]

Bonesaw held his own against Spidey for a little while, getting in some solid offense that should've taken out any normal person. While he ultimately got his ass kicked, he got it kicked by a guy in his prime strong enough to lift about 10 tons over his head, can outrun a cheetah, has agility & reflexes that're the wet dream of an Olympic gymnast and has some degree of superhuman durability.

Though Spidey was still learning his new abilities, and was likely awestruck by being in the presence of the greatest movie star of all time (Bruce Campbell), he was every bit as powerful as described above. Bonesaw held his own pretty damn well against a freakin' superhero. When Bonesaw finds out that he's fighting Thunderlips, he'll probably train by uprooting trees so he can break them over his knee.

Thunderlips is one of those "Not in the face!" fighters. He'll likely prepare for this match by endorsing disreputable dietary supplements and purging his body of STDs.

Bonesaw all the way.

 

[nightmare]

The better match would have been Bonesaw vs Randy "The Ram". Epic battle.


This one is easy & goes to the alter ego of Randy Savage. Bonesaw looks like a guy you would see taking out a few cops in a rage, fueled by whiskey & dirty biker crank. Thunderlips would never have what it takes to match that kind of, well, savagery. He is too vain & that shall be his downfall.

 

[JGlass]

I wanted to wait before voicing my opinions, but this is becoming a little lopsided and want to make a case for Thunderlips.

Bonesaw definitely has offense, but probably not to the extent the previous posters have stated. He got a few shots in on Spider-Man, but nothing too serious. He also broke the leg of the dude he fought before Spider-Man, so he is vicious. But he got knocked out after a monkey flip, and not a particularly hard one at that. He's a glass cannon: packs a punch, but can't take a ton of damage.

Thunderlips appears to be the reverse. He took some tough punches from Rocky, a world champion boxer. Some people have pointed out that Rocky was past his prime... so's Mike Tyson, do you want to take a flurry of punches from him? And Mike Tyson is a lot more over the hill than Rocky in Rocky III. Despite Rocky getting a bunch of offense in, Thunderlips goes the distance and is only staggered briefly at a few points in the fight.

Unfortunately, Thunderlips's offense doesn't seem to be super effective. Rocky looks like he absolutely gets his ass kicked, but he also recovers extremely quickly from the assault. That said, Thunderlips does dominate the match and Rocky can really only get in his offense after Thunderlips is worn down at the end of the fight.

Considering their strengths and weaknesses, I see this as favoring Thunderlips. Both start off dominant in their fights, but after trading blows for a while, even if Bonesaw does more damage, Thunderlips will still have more left in the tank than the apparently fragile Bonesaw McGraw.

Also, not to lean to heavily on a drawing argument, but Thunderlips was wrestling at a charity event where he raised $70,000 dollars (I think) in front of a sold out crowd at a massive arena. Bonesaw McGraw wrestled in like, a warehouse in front of a bunch of dirtbags and his opponent was making the tidy sum of $3,000.

Thunderlips is a big deal. Bonesaw McGraw is a sideshow.

Vote Thunderlips.

 

[Richard Blonoff]

I haven't completely made up my mind, but those who are arguing in favor if Bonesaw need to remember that the Spider-Man that Bonesaw fought was a Peter Parker still learning to use his powers effectively. He wasn't so much fighting Spider-Man as he was fighting Spider-Awkward teenager who needed money for a car to impress Mary Jane.

 

[Deoxyribonucleic A.C.I.D.]

Boneshaw almost beat up a guy with superhuman spider abilities, who, if it wasn't for his wall crawling abilities, Boneshaw would have beaten.

Sure, that was rookie Spidey and not the same one that fought the Green Goblin, but still this was a nice attempt.

Thunderlips on the other hand couldn't even beat a tiny little boxer and the match ended as a draw.

Thunderlips is all hype. The man is Boneshaw! And Boneshaw would wipe the floor with Thunderlips' fake moustache.

PS: It took what, 4-5 kicks from Peter to knock out Boneshaw? Did Peter even held back there, since he didn't know how to properly use his powers? I say no, which means that Boneshaw took 4 full strength kicks from Spider-man and didn't die. Vote Boneshaw.

 

[JGlass]

Boneshaw almost beat up a guy with superhuman spider abilities, who, if it wasn't for his wall crawling abilities, Boneshaw would have beaten.

Speculative. Besides getting in a chair shot, he didn't really do much to Spider-Man.

Sure, that was rookie Spidey and not the same one that fought the Green Goblin, but still this was a nice attempt.

In what way? He looked like a fool for most of the fight.

Thunderlips on the other hand couldn't even beat a tiny little boxer and the match ended as a draw.

A tiny little boxer? Tiny compared to him maybe. Rocky was the world champion. That match wasn't between Thunderlips and the first boxer they could find, it was between the world's best wrestler and the world's best boxer.

Thunderlips is all hype. The man is Boneshaw! And Boneshaw would wipe the floor with Thunderlips' fake moustache.

I can only assume that you mean this literally, as Bonesaw returns to his day job of being a janitor while Thunderlips continues to be the most famous wrestler in the world.

PS: It took what, 4-5 kicks from Peter to knock out Boneshaw? Did Peter even held back there, since he didn't know how to properly use his powers? I say no, which means that Boneshaw took 4 full strength kicks from Spider-man and didn't die. Vote Boneshaw.

Dude, how you gonna argue for Bonesaw when you don't even remember the fight? He got knocked out after being monkey flipped into the cage. And it wasn't even a hard monkey flip.

Meanwhile, Thunderlips took multiple combinations from the world champion boxer and managed to fight to a draw. If anything this last argument of yours proves that Thunderlips is way tougher than Bonesaw.

 

[Deoxyribonucleic A.C.I.D.]

Speculative. Besides getting in a chair shot, he didn't really do much to Spider-Man.



In what way? He looked like a fool for most of the fight.



A tiny little boxer? Tiny compared to him maybe. Rocky was the world champion. That match wasn't between Thunderlips and the first boxer they could find, it was between the world's best wrestler and the world's best boxer.



I can only assume that you mean this literally, as Bonesaw returns to his day job of being a janitor while Thunderlips continues to be the most famous wrestler in the world.



Dude, how you gonna argue for Bonesaw when you don't even remember the fight? He got knocked out after being monkey flipped into the cage. And it wasn't even a hard monkey flip.

Meanwhile, Thunderlips took multiple combinations from the world champion boxer and managed to fight to a draw. If anything this last argument of yours proves that Thunderlips is way tougher than Bonesaw.

Watch the fight again. Spider-man kicked him multiple times and then flipped him over. In my understanding, Spider-man's kicks are 100 times stronger than Rocky's punches, thus it means that Bonesaw is a tough SOB, tougher than Thunderlips, so he gets my vote.

 

[JGlass]

Watch the fight again. Spider-man kicked him multiple times and then flipped him over. In my understanding, Spider-man's kicks are 100 times stronger than Rocky's punches, thus it means that Bonesaw is a tough SOB, tougher than Thunderlips, so he gets my vote.

Disagree, especially the kicks that Spider-Man was throwing at Bonesaw. He was on his back and generating power from his knee which is one of the least effective ways to put power in your kicks. If that was a normal human, it would do little other than push your attacker back. Because it's Spider-Man and he's stronger than the average man, it does seem to do some damage, but not much. I don't think Bonesaw's ability to withstand those weak kicks demonstrates his durability in any meaningful way.

Rocky, on the other hand, is throwing full powered punches at Thunderlips, punches that have been used to knock out guys like Apollo Creed and later Clubber Lang and Ivan Drago. If he caught Bonesaw with one of those punches, it would be lights out for him. Thunderlips, on the other hand, was able to withstand multiple punching combinations from Rocky, punches that would have leveled almost anyone else.

 

[FitFinlay4Life]

Hmmm, what worries me most about this is how weak this made Rocky look. Thunderlips might be working quite stiff but obviously not full bore because Hornswoggle could probably knock Paulie out and none of the man handled officers seemed the worse for the experience either. Also, without Paulie's interference, Rocky might have lost!

As to who would win - really hard to call, Thunderlips does take some shots from Rocky but a dozen or so body shots and 1 head shot doesn't exactly make Thunderlips the Meng of this encounter. Buzzsaw is equally tough to distinguish because it requires swinging for the fences chair shots for him to get Spidey off his feet and, if we're honest, he doesn't even really hurt the webslinger.

Personally, I'd have to think outside the box for who I'd back. Thunderlips is the Terry Bollea 'Hulk Hogan' here and, as such, there is a strong possibility that he may not be a legit shooter. Buzzsaw is a legit shooter whose job it is to obliterate would be hard men within 3 minutes repeatedly and he has such a strong backing you have to believe he is damn good at it. For that reason, I believe I would have backed Buzzsaw had I been on-site.