Coco The Monkey teaches YOU how to be the life of the party!

[Coco]

PART 1
BLACKFACE​

So, let's set the mood. You and the boys/your special lady/your special man/the crucial crew head out for a night on the town. As the night grows old, you find yourself at a quaint, intimimate place called 1962. If you're not already with a special lady, you may feel welcome to take some initiative if/when a you're lucky enough to catch the eye of a young belle. But they do things a little bit differently in 1962, and it's not your scene. What is the appropriate expression of conjugal interest? Well, blackface might be the answer.

WHAT YOU WILL NEED: White skin. Great comic timing. Blackface make-up (alternatively, you could go Silence of the Lambs on a negro, but it's 1962 and you might not know what that means).

ANTIREQUISITE: Black skin.

1. Cover your face and ears with make-up.
   
2. If you have gone the SOTL route and didn't cut off his ears, don't worry. They're not essential.
   
3. Position yourself in the room so that attention is drawn to you. Ideally, you should be standing away from the crowd but close enough to the person you're trying to seduce to invite interaction. If necessary, go to the person you're interested in and push everyone else to the other side of the room. Carrying the person you're interested in to an empty part of the room will also work.
   
4. Begin conversation. Speak with a slacked jaw. Shuck and/or jive when appropriate.
   
5. When others in the room begin to stare at you, get down on one knee and sing a racially charged song.
   
6. Enjoy.

If you're doing it right, it should look like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_7Zzb-t9Lc

NEXT WEEK: Selling the eye you caught on eBay.

 

[goodlay]

Mad Men is awesome. I've just gotten into it, but it fucking rules.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I'm watching it right now.