Richard Blonoff
Make America Rassle Again
[YOUTUBE]BD3VJGDqphM[/YOUTUBE]
"What's up guys, Mikey Stormrage here. As WZCW's resident guru of gaming I launched a campaign to bring back one of my favorite discontinued segments from WZCW Magazine. Not long after I was given the go ahead to write my segment, Mark Lemming decided to quit and put the kibosh on my writing career before it got started. Fear not however, we are taking this thing viral. So now we have a fancy theme song, a cool backdrop, a giant HD screen to game on, and a brand new copy of WZCW 2013, available now at your local retailer."
"Each show I will have a different guest host on with me and the two of us will sit down, do a little gaming, give you a sneak preview of the upcoming pay per view, and just shoot the breeze for about an hour. This week my guest is WZCW's resident show stealer and your EurAsian champion, Triple X! X, before you sit down, why don't you give the fans a look at that sweet, sweet cover of WZCW 2013, available at a retailer near you."
"Thanks for agreeing to be my first guest X."
"Thanks for having me man, I'm more than excited to be here. Let's get to this."
"You heard him folks, lets jump right in. While I pop the game in and get us set up, X, mind giving us your thoughts on the matches taking place at the pay per view?"
"Oh man, where to start. You have a great mix of personal feuds and championship battles, then we top it all off with the Lethal Lottery match where anything can happen. We have the Tag team champions, versus the greatest active team on the roster, versus one of the most violent teams ever. It's going to be interesting, because I'm sure everyone here will have one eye on the lottery, but no-one can afford to lose sight when the championship on the line. Saxton and Saboteur have the experience advantage as a team, but the Gents have beaten them already; for the titles in fact. But Technosa are the wildcards here; both are formidable singles stars and they've shown real competence as a unit; thoroughly destroying the Empire. Anyone could win, but my pick for this match; The Gents defy the odds and retain."
"So Triple X is officially taking The Bearded Gentlemen to end the skid and retain. I've had my fair share of battles with Saxton and Sabotuer; you can't overlook them ever, but I think Technosa has been on too much of a role lately. I dread the day I have to step into the ring with either of those men because you aren't guaranteed to come out with your career intact. I have to pick Technosa in this one. When we ran the simulation before the show, Saxoteur came out on top. Just goes to show that anything can happen in this match."
"What is your record against Saxton and Sabs, Mikey?"
"Better than your record against Sam Smith."
"Haha, fair enough big guy. Moving on you got Dragon versus Callahan. Man I'm looking forward to this. Dragon's style is breathtaking, and I'm actually envious of some of the crazy stuff he can do in the ring. Callahan is nuts, but he's a former World Champion, and his drive to unmask Dragon and 'prove' that Ty Burna is capable of performing a Phoenix Splash makes him more dangerous than ever. The rules here look to favor Dragon on the outset, but Callahan is so ruthless that he can work in a deathmatch like this. My prediction; Callahan will find a way to keep Dragon down, but he won't find the answers to the Burna mystery he's searching for."
"You heard it here ladies and gentlemen, Triple X is jealous of El Califa Dragon. He may be even more jealous to hear that the game just simulated Califa winning by that very Phoenix Splash."
"Speaking of men who like splashes, you have a match before the Lottery yourself. Grand Mystique versus you, you handsome devil! This is another one I'm looking forward to, but for very different reasons. Mystique's been wreaking havoc in the company, and you've suffered the most from his torment, and it's far past the time he got his ass kicked. Him adding the stipulation of you having to join him if you lose is nothing more than a curveball to offset you. You know you can beat him; I know you can beat him, and come the pay per view, you'll kick his ass inside a steel cage, where he has nowhere to run, and no way for his lackey Mason Westhoff to help him steal one."
"Thanks buddy, I approve of your prediction, and so does the game, because in a totally non biased simulation I beat GM ten out of ten times."
"So what is next? The World Heavyweight Championship match? You've one man I respect; Showtime Cougar, versus one man I detest; Steven Holmes. This is going to be a contender for match of the year, and it's too hard to call. Showtime has more big match experience, but Holmes has had a psychological advantage in recent times. I've wrestled with both and it's tough to call between them, but experience at this level is invaluable. My pick for the title is Showtime Cougar, but I wouldn't bet any money on it."
"The game agreed with you. The man front and center on the cover retained his title in the simulation. Before we get to the actual Lottery match, I do have a few more questions. First off, how do you think you will fare this year?"
"I plan on stealing the show. Day in and day out, that's my aim, and here it's no different. Obviously, one way of doing that is by winning, and that's certainly my aim. Do I think I can win it? Yes. Do I think I will? Well...I think there's twenty nine other superstars who could get the win and deserve it, just as I know I can and do. But just like last year, I plan on making sure that everyone is talking about WZCW's resident Showstealer."
"Speaking of last year, Lethal Lottery 2012 was your personal coming out party. In the span of a year you rose from unknown rookie, to the doorstep of the World Title. It has to have been a crazy ride and I know the fans would love to hear about not only your rise, but who on the roster you think has the best chance of duplicating your performance during last year's Lottery?"
"Oh man it has been wild. It's crazy, because I never expected it. I figured I'd get a few matches, remain on Aftershock and get released. I think last years Lottery was my...fourth match? And I thought I'd get thrown out and never heard of again. But as I went out there and figured I had nothing to lose, I just threw caution to the wind, and went for it. In terms of my 'rise', truth be told, I was happy in the Elite X division. I was cool there, as crazy as that sounds, and I wanted another shot at Sam Smith more than anything, because the guy's one of the best I've ever faced. But the fans wanted more. Other superstars and officials behind the scenes seemed to agree. And that taste of success was something I wasn't sure I'd actually get a shot at, but now I have, I'm ready for more, and I know if...no...when I get the chance again, you'll be looking at the new World Heavyweight Champion. As far as shocking the world, a ton of guys have that potential. I don't like his attitude, but Brent Blaze has all the tools to succeed here. He reminds me a lot like myself when I first started out, and he could be something real special. Grizzly Bob could shock a lot of people; he's scary strong and quick for a big man, and could be incredibly formidable. But my pick for the guy who's gonna break out, shockingly to some, is Sam Smith. I don't like him as a person, but I respect the hell out of his talents, and this match could be his announcement that he's ready to become king of WZCW. I know he's already considered a big deal, so it might not count, but I think at the Lottery, Sam Smith shows he's more than just a great Elite X Champion, and that he's just plain destined for greatness."
"While the actual Lottery match is currently loading up, we need a quick filler question. A couple of weeks ago we made Baltimore area headlines after our drunken...okay my drunken and your totally sober shouting match. I think most people know by now, but you are an outspoken believer in the strait-edge lifestyle. How did you get into that, do you ever feel different, and do you feel like a role model to others who share your beliefs?"
"Well, straight edge is routed in punk music, which is something I love. Punk, rock, metal, all that kind of stuff. That was how I first heard about it when I was younger, but obviously in my troubled youth I didn't live...well, lets say the healthiest of life. Everyone knows my back story with my girlfriend, so forgive me for not going into detail about that. But after Abi's death, that really shook me down to my core, and I looked at my life and thought 'what the hell am I doing?' She always wanted to be a pro wrestler, and while not quite to the same degree as her, I did too. So I used this tragedy as a catalyst, almost like a reset button. I didn't want to kill myself, and I saw someone I love go down that road, so I knew I'd need to do something, and I knew that to be a wrestler, the drugs would have to go. And by association, everything else went with it; the alcohol, the cigarettes, everything. Straight-edge was something I'd heard in a song, and I knew what it was about, so I just decided to take the quitting a step further and go all the way. As far as how it feels to be the only open straight-edge guy...it really doesn't feel like anything. Do I feel like a role-model...to a point, but I also jump off of high things for a living, so I'm probably not the best to look up to! It's a part of me that some respect, and that some don't give a rats ass about. I know some people that shall remain nameless have made accusations that I'm not really straight edge, and that I'm a bad role model because I'm living some 'lie', and it used to bother me a lot. But now I laugh, because there are so many supportive people here, yourself included, and then there are those who clearly don't have that strong belief and faith in something like I do. And I pity them."
"Well we have the actual Lottery match loaded up. We will be playing as our virtual self. I feel that my low center of gravity will give me an advantage come match time, so obviously I can't overlook myself; though Rush, GM, and Grizzly Bob join me in the three hundred plus club, so that is my final four prediction. Anything you have to add before I kick your virtual ass?"
"Thirty of WZCW's best athletes fighting for the golden ticket to Kingdom Come. Anyone can pull out a showstopping performance in this match, and it really is a true test of how you compare to the pack. Obviously I'd love to say I'm going to win it, as would you, and I do have every intention of doing so. But honestly, it could be Sam Smith, it could be Constantine, it could be Thrash...okay, maybe not that last one. But it literally could be anyone; it's too hard to pick."
"Well it isn't going to be you today. While you were ranting, X came in at number three and were tossed out by virtual Beard."
"I wasn't ready!"
"Okay in fairness to Triple X and due to time restraints I'm going to simulate this to the end, and post up the results. Feel free to leave any comments; what you like, what you dislike, what we can improve on, who you want to see on the show, any other suggestions. Remember to check out WZCW.com for all your wrestling needs, and tune into Lethal Lottery twenty thirteen, Tuesday, May fourteenth, live from the Allstate Arena in Chicago, Illinois, only on pay per view. For Triple X and all the crew, I'm Mikey Stormrage, thanks for tuning in to the first webisode of Co-op Conversations, and remember, keep calm and don't rage quit."
Special shout out to BK for the interview and Killjoy for the game cover
