Well there is nothing wrong with courtesy- its quite nice to meet it sometimes though. The problem with defining it as Chivalry is that it makes it inherently sexist. If you choose to treat women differently from men, and it isn't part of an attempt to impress said women, then why are you doing it? I understand that most men are doing it for the best possible reasons, but it is still a bit of a sticking point for some women when we aren't being treated equally, when the impression is that it is the man who has control, the man who pulls the chair out, who pays the bill, who is effectively in charge.
For this part I always try to go Dutch on dates (split the bill down the middle
), and will open doors for people behind me regardless of their age or sex. I don't do this as part of a grand feminist plot (which I think is a little silly on the whole, I like being feminine
) but because I think its a decent thing to do. In the same way I appreciate any kindness done to me by another, regardless of their sex. Rounding on someone after they attempt to do you a kindness isn't a nice thing to do.
As I say I do understand the male dilemma here. For a lot of men, it’s the way they were raised, its part of their tradition, and there are vastly varying degrees of feeling among women about this. Some expect it, some don't mind it and some dislike it. Another way in which you guys must unfortunately tread carefully
