Chivalry

[CH David]

In your opinion, is chivalry dead or is it still kicking well enough? If it is dead or on its way, who made it so?

Let me start off by saying that I am not sexist, I'm just curious on other people's opinions. Personally, I think it is either on life support, or has slowly deteriorated. There are guys out there that open doors, stand up for women when they enter or leave a room(I think), push in chairs and what not. I do my best to be one. So it isn't completely dead.

As for who made this an issue. I have to say that feminists started it, and men just got tired of it and stopped. I remind you, I am not sexist. In my honest opinion, I do think that feminism is what caused it. Not many people really think about it. On multiple occasions I have actually seen guys open a door for a woman, and her turn around and say "My hands aren't broken. I can open it myself." Or if a guy is going to be polite and push in her chair for her, the woman just scoots up herself in a hurry and the guy has a "what the fuck" look on his face. I know not too many guys want to be scolded for being nice, so they stop doing it if it continues.

So what do you guys think? Am I right or am I dead wrong? I also won't be surprised if I get a few replies calling me a dumbass or sexist, just for asking and giving my opinion on the subject.

Edit: If FTS or any other mod feels it should be in the Cigar Lounge, please move it.

 

[Dexter]

Here in the south, things are a little different than elsewhere in the country (and the world, I'd assume). Chivalry is still very much alive around here. Men open doors for women, the man still pays for everything on dates, sometimes we even pull out their chair for them at restaurants. I don't know if it's just that we're so far behind the times that we haven't wised up to feminism yet, or that we cling to tradition more than most. Whatever the reason, that's still how it is here.

I had a strange experience traveling out of town recently, though. I was in Washington DC, and was entering a building... I think it was a coffee shop... and there was a young lady walking behind me. I noticed her behind me, opened the door, stepped aside and held it open for her to walk in before me. I do this everywhere I go around here in southwest Virginia where I live, and I'd never gotten anything but smiles and thanks.

This time, it was different. She stopped mid-stride, fixed me with a stare that could have killed and in a very icy tone, stated "I'm perfectly capable of opening my own doors," and refused to enter until I walked in before her and let the door close behind me.

I've never been more confused in my life. To this day, I still have NO idea what the hell that was all about, but it's not going to stop me from holding doors for ladies.

 

[Harthan]

I open doors on a matter of common courtesy for pretty much everyone. If there's someone behind me, I'll hold it open. Not like the three seconds it costs me to be nice are that big of a deal.

 

[Nate DaMac]

I quit being polite to women long ago. Let me rephrase that, I quit being more polite to women any more than I am to a man. It's not that I don't respect women, I do. It's just the whole Feminist movement puts geniuinely nice guys like us in an awkward position. You have the women who expect men to wait on hand and foot for them, then you have the women who think it's sexist to think they need doors opened for them. I'm not bashing feminism, it has done a lot of good, but Chivalry is gonna have to be a sacrifice to the cause.

 

[Ty Burna]

Is Chivalry dead? Depends where you're at, and what you consider chivalrous. I live in a smaller town, and we generally keep some older morals (well, what little morals my generation still has around here), and me personally, I still try to be chivalrous whenever I can be. It's not that difficult to be honest to do so, as 90% of chivalry is basic manners that I have been taught. Open doors for people, treat them with respect etc etc etc. The other parts like paying for meals and pulling chairs out for your girl is just natural for me I suppose. But the thing is is that when the concept of chivalry was developed, men did everything, they had the jobs, brought the food home and paid for everything. They basically took care of their women, and thus they would do such things as hold doors open, pull chairs out etc. In this day and age women are able to fend for themselves, and you could consider that some women see acting chivalrous as acting sexist in the same way. It's a shame that some have to see it that way, and it's not so much anyone's fault in general, it's just the way society has changed since the chivalry concept was innovated.

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

I'm a chivalrous kind of guy. I hold doors open, say 'Excuse me', and ask the girl I'm fucking where she wants me my load to go. Common courtesy.

 

[The Dewbliners]

My friends and I are trying our damndest to keep chivalry alive and well in our hometown. We still hold doors open, push a ladies chair in for them, stand when they excuse themselves, and won't hear of the lady paying for a damn thing. Usually, the ladies appreciate it, though we do occasionally get the ones who decide it's appropriate to be a total bitch. So, no, chivalry ain't dead yet, at least, not in Hamilton!, Ohio.

 

[X]

Chivalry? What does it matter? Women can't open doors now or something?

No really though, I'm actually extremely polite in person. Shocking, I know. I hold open doors and whatnot. I've always been a rather polite person I think.

Chivalry is rather stupid if you think about it though.

 

[Dexter]

Chivalry is rather stupid if you think about it though.

Well... yeah. It is. But a lot of things are stupid and they're still the right thing to do. Like the holding the door open thing.

Why would you stand there holding a door for anyone at all when the person behind you is perfectly capable of opening it themselves?

Why would you avoid staring at someone with a disability that, odds are, you'll never even see again?

Why would you avoid using loud profanity in public places when they're just words with no real power to do any harm, and again, odds are you'll never see anyone again that heard it anyway?

It's all just common courtesy, and of course the definition of "common courtesy" varies from one person to the next, but most of us at least have SOME definition we adhere to and the world is better off for it.

Goddammit, I wish this thread was in the lounge. Way to fail, David.

 

[NSL]

Chivalry? What does it matter? Women can't open doors now or something?

No really though, I'm actually extremely polite in person. Shocking, I know. I hold open doors and whatnot. I've always been a rather polite person I think.

Chivalry is rather stupid if you think about it though.

Pretty much what I think. Women want to be treated as "equals", which is all well and good. I agree. they're equal. Now, stop expecting me to treat you like a superior being because you have a set of tits. I'll be polite, and hold open a door, or say "excuse me", but I won't go ot of my way to do anything. Most women around here would yell at me if I opened a car door.

 

[NSL]

Why would you stand there holding a door for anyone at all when the person behind you is perfectly capable of opening it themselves?

Letting a door smack someone in the face, and opening it for them are two different things.

Why would you avoid staring at someone with a disability that, odds are, you'll never even see again?

I don't avoid this. Ever. Trust me, they're used to it.

Why would you avoid using loud profanity in public places when they're just words with no real power to do any harm, and again, odds are you'll never see anyone again that heard it anyway?

I use profanity everywhere. I don't see why saying "fuck" is considered impolite.

It's all just common courtesy, and of course the definition of "common courtesy" varies from one person to the next, but most of us at least have SOME definition we adhere to and the world is better off for it.

So, I should be pissed the next time the jerk in front of me lets the door slam shut, or the next time someone rips a loud fart in a public bathroom, and doesn't say excuse me? Don't think so.

 

[CH David]

Goddammit, I wish this thread was in the lounge. Way to fail, David.

Love you too Dexter lol. Like I edited in my first post, if a mod can move it, please do.

 

[Moon Knight]

Here in the south, things are a little different than elsewhere in the country (and the world, I'd assume). Chivalry is still very much alive around here. Men open doors for women, the man still pays for everything on dates, sometimes we even pull out their chair for them at restaurants. I don't know if it's just that we're so far behind the times that we haven't wised up to feminism yet, or that we cling to tradition more than most. Whatever the reason, that's still how it is here.

I had a strange experience traveling out of town recently, though. I was in Washington DC, and was entering a building... I think it was a coffee shop... and there was a young lady walking behind me. I noticed her behind me, opened the door, stepped aside and held it open for her to walk in before me. I do this everywhere I go around here in southwest Virginia where I live, and I'd never gotten anything but smiles and thanks.

This time, it was different. She stopped mid-stride, fixed me with a stare that could have killed and in a very icy tone, stated "I'm perfectly capable of opening my own doors," and refused to enter until I walked in before her and let the door close behind me.

I've never been more confused in my life. To this day, I still have NO idea what the hell that was all about, but it's not going to stop me from holding doors for ladies.

What a bitch. I sometimes hold doors open and usually get a thanks.

 

[Dexter]

What a bitch.

Was she? I was hoping so but I honestly didn't know if this was just a matter of culture clash stemming from where I grew up (tiny southern town) vs where I was (huge northern town) or if she was just genuinely a cunt.

If it's the latter, I'm relieved.

 

[Moon Knight]

Was she? I was hoping so but I honestly didn't know if this was just a matter of culture clash stemming from where I grew up (tiny southern town) vs where I was (huge northern town) or if she was just genuinely a cunt.

If it's the latter, I'm relieved.

She is just a cunt, I live in SOCAL a very Liberal and diverse area and never get that. She is just a bitch, some people just accept the kind gesture and move on.

 

[Nate DaMac]

Dexter is a square. I slam doors in peoples faces, stare at handicapped people, and impulsively yell obscenities in public everday. In fact, it's roughly 40% of my life nowadays. I work at Pizza Hut now.

 

[Tastycles]

I hold open doors for anyone, but I only give my seat to old/disabled people, pregnant ladies and people with kids.

For me, giving a woman a seat because she is a woman is the same thing as making a black man sit at the back of the bus. Women fought for equal rights for the right to stand on public transport.

 

[Dexter]

Dexter is a square. I slam doors in peoples faces, stare at handicapped people, and impulsively yell obscenities in public everday. In fact, it's roughly 40% of my life nowadays. I work at Pizza Hut now.

ROFL! Welcome to my sig.

 

[Eternal Dragon]

It's cute, but I can open my own door.

 

[Dexter]

It's cute, but I can open my own door.

Indeed. But would you be insulted if a guy wanted to do it for you?

 

[Nate DaMac]

Sweet.

 

[Eternal Dragon]

Indeed. But would you be insulted if a guy wanted to do it for you?

Nope. I wouldn't be insulted if a guy or girl wanted to do that, it's very nice of them, but not necessary.

 

[Dexter]

Nope. I wouldn't be insulted if a guy or girl wanted to do that, it's very nice of them, but not necessary.

That's pretty much the whole definition of chivalry. Of course it's not necessary, it's just, quite honestly, a means to flirt. We know you can open your own door and push in your own chair and pay for your own dinner, but we do it because it makes US feel good, and we THINK it makes us more attractive to you. If it doesn't, oh well... no one gets hurt anyway.

It's probably pretty lame in the grand scheme of things but hey... why not? Ya know?

 

[TheOneBigWill]

I'd say on average every 9 out of 10 people will hold a door open for a random stranger. Thats no longer being considered as "Chivalry" though, so much as common courtesy. If you're looking for Chivalry, then you go beyond the regular holding a door open bit.. to the other things you said, and then some.

Chivalry is; Buying someone a gift on a random day, for no reason at all other than because you wanted to. (with no request or plan to get anything in return) Its being polite, in all places, to everyone. Be it people who're rude to you, or otherwise. Its having manners that precede you, and those around you. Not to point out that you're better, but to point out that you can act like a respectable, mature human being without having to be told, or asked.

I will constantly still stop if someone is on the side of the road, broke down (as long as they don't look like they're capable of raping me) or if I can not stop, always make a phone call to the State Troopers to report it.

I still hold car doors open for Erin, and close them behind her. I still try to buy her random things, for no other reason than to show I still care. And on that note, you don't even have to buy someone something, to show you care. It could be toward a Family member, or a Friend. Just doing any little anything that shows they mean anything to you, is considered an act of kindness and Chivalry.

So, all in all its not dead. Its just in a stage to which I'd consider it becoming dormant. Mainly because today's youth doesn't care for one another the way we were raised and taught upon growing up. I'm also not blaming that on Parents, as a Parent can try and teach a child the same thing a thousand times over - and all it takes is a group of friends doing what is to be considered "cool", to out-weigh that in the end.

I can't recall how many stupid punk-ass teenagers I see these days, who laugh and mock the handicapped, or say snide comments about people who they don't even know. How they think its cooler to close an elevator door for a single parent in a hurry, more than being helpful and holding it open. Or how they even cut in lines just to save time for themselves, when someone far more older could have less things - yet not be quick enough to get to the line first.

It pisses me off to see shit like that.

 

[Viola Moonlight]

I do everything in my life politely, unless the person that I am helping is a complete bitch or asshole or dick or whatever.