Capt. Charisma
Getting Noticed By Management
This guy is pure gold on the mic, if your unfamilar with his work have a look here- http://www.itv.com/Lifestyle/jeremykyle/default.htm
Here are just some of this guys catchphrases-
Brave lady
A mother in turmoil, ladies and gentleman
This is the Jeremy Kyle show
Here on the Jeremy Kyle show
You're scum
You disgust me
Listen to me sweet
You're a disgrace
Why don't you get off your backside and get a job?
Those all important DNA results
Remember, there's two sides to every story
I respect that you've come on the show with your hands raised in the air
People in my ear are telling me to stay calm
Relating something to a family member/himself
Talking about taxpayers
Making someone sit comfortably in their chair
Let's bring on our shows psychotherapist, Graham
Grahams too professional to say this, so I will
Look at me
CONTRACEPTION
Can I talk please?
BE QUIET
...on national television
Know where I'm going to take you? Bootcamp
You told our researchers
And guess what, he was telling the TRUTH?
Where I come from, real men don't cry
Let's not pre-judge
If you were my daughter you'd be in bed my 8 young lady
This show is about truth
Your daughter is crying...go and hug your daughter
Leave as a family
I don't usually say this, but you shouldn't be together
Both go separate ways
I feel for you babe
I have never been so disgusted
Get off my stage
Oh, so you're one of the 4% the lie detector doesn't work for
It's here in black and white...he's a liar
You should prefer to be in solitary confinement than with him/her
You have gained my respect
This is a destructive relationship
A family literally being torn apart
Isn't it true that cannabis causes paranoia?
*pointing at security* you think you'll get to me before him?
Shortening someones name
s/he hasn't met me yet
s/he has a lot of explaining to do
She was LYING!
If you're gonna swear then you can get off my stage
STOP SWEARING
Promise me one thing..
Be a man
Let's take a breather
Where I come from, real men don't hit women
Do you take drugs?
I can't codone (enter behaviour) on this show
Why don't you use your drug money to buy nappies for your child?
You know what? I like you
Respect for coming on here
In all my time on this show I've never been so disgusted/shocked/appauled
Eat your heart out Rock. And there are more, but the post would get ridicolously long.
And heres the offical drinking game
1. Get some alcohol. You'll probably need several litres.
2. Get a shot glass.
3. Everytime he says one of the following catchphrases, take a shot.
4. Go to hospital and get your stomach pumped.
And get the offical Jeremy Kyle sig!!!
All he needs now is a finishing move and he can be main-eventing in no time.
On a side note can you tell im bored?!
Here are just some of this guys catchphrases-
Brave lady
A mother in turmoil, ladies and gentleman
This is the Jeremy Kyle show
Here on the Jeremy Kyle show
You're scum
You disgust me
Listen to me sweet
You're a disgrace
Why don't you get off your backside and get a job?
Those all important DNA results
Remember, there's two sides to every story
I respect that you've come on the show with your hands raised in the air
People in my ear are telling me to stay calm
Relating something to a family member/himself
Talking about taxpayers
Making someone sit comfortably in their chair
Let's bring on our shows psychotherapist, Graham
Grahams too professional to say this, so I will
Look at me
CONTRACEPTION
Can I talk please?
BE QUIET
...on national television
Know where I'm going to take you? Bootcamp
You told our researchers
And guess what, he was telling the TRUTH?
Where I come from, real men don't cry
Let's not pre-judge
If you were my daughter you'd be in bed my 8 young lady
This show is about truth
Your daughter is crying...go and hug your daughter
Leave as a family
I don't usually say this, but you shouldn't be together
Both go separate ways
I feel for you babe
I have never been so disgusted
Get off my stage
Oh, so you're one of the 4% the lie detector doesn't work for
It's here in black and white...he's a liar
You should prefer to be in solitary confinement than with him/her
You have gained my respect
This is a destructive relationship
A family literally being torn apart
Isn't it true that cannabis causes paranoia?
*pointing at security* you think you'll get to me before him?
Shortening someones name
s/he hasn't met me yet
s/he has a lot of explaining to do
She was LYING!
If you're gonna swear then you can get off my stage
STOP SWEARING
Promise me one thing..
Be a man
Let's take a breather
Where I come from, real men don't hit women
Do you take drugs?
I can't codone (enter behaviour) on this show
Why don't you use your drug money to buy nappies for your child?
You know what? I like you
Respect for coming on here
In all my time on this show I've never been so disgusted/shocked/appauled
Eat your heart out Rock. And there are more, but the post would get ridicolously long.
And heres the offical drinking game
1. Get some alcohol. You'll probably need several litres.
2. Get a shot glass.
3. Everytime he says one of the following catchphrases, take a shot.
4. Go to hospital and get your stomach pumped.
And get the offical Jeremy Kyle sig!!!
All he needs now is a finishing move and he can be main-eventing in no time.
On a side note can you tell im bored?!