Making my list was the kiss of death for nearly everyone on it last year. Christian was back for about a week and is probably in a shallow grave by now. Randy Orton, the winner, got injured, suspended and then occasionally wheeled out to beat up Brad Maddox. Cody Rhodes, Rey Mysterio, John Morrison, Mark Henry, Zack Ryder-- Oh Jesus, Zack Ryder! Could they have sabotaged Zack Ryder any
harder? Somehow, some way, CM Punk and John Cena avoided the curse.
This year it's time for the coveted Sammy Award to ruin a whole new set of wrestlers' careers. WWE careers
and TNA careers. I might as well begin with the poor chaps who were on my list but didn't make it to this one:
James Storm
We'll remember James Storm's 2012 as the year he finished up - or didn't finish up - his feud with Bobby Roode. Both the Lockdown match, despite the deaf mutes in the crowd, and the Bound For Glory match between the two were incredible. Even the three-way (ooh-er missus!) with AJ Styles was pretty good, wasn't it? Other than that, he's been reliably great. Impact was littered with good but ultimately forgettable matches this year and, partially thanks to the Bound For Glory series, James Storm was responsible for approximately 90% of them. Give or take.
Bully Ray
Alright, yeah, he has plateaued. And yeah, this whole face turn is getting kind of weird. Am I supposed to be pleased or disgusted that he's treating Brooke Hogan to the ol' flesh flute? Ah well! Point is, he plateaued at a pretty bloody high place and is now, just maybe starting to come down. Great matches with Storm, Aries and even Joseph Park. Possibly the best promo man going right now. Tell me you didn't want him to see him cave in Jeff Hardy's skull after his promo at No Surrender and allow me to call you a fucking liar.
Christopher Daniels (& Frankie Kazarian)
I once said that Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian should form a tag team called Kookie Kutter Kruiserweights. Incredibly clever, yes, but wrong. The World Tag Team Champions of the World were easily the team with the most personality in wrestling (maybe even more so than Hell No) in 2012, and had incredible matches to boot. If pushed, I'd have to say Daniels was the slightly better of the two - and saying that could end my lifelong friendship with Katherine "Yuri" Gelgarin. That Last Man Standing match was
fucking fun though.
Now onto the ones who are on the list. I'll take my hipster glasses off.
Austin Aries
Probably my favourite TNA Champion of the year, beating Robert Roode by a narrow margin and Jeff Hardy by a
wide margin. His matches with Bully Ray, Bobby Roode, The Armbreaker and even, begrudgingly, Jeff Hardy were great. I don't think he's as good a talker as some others do, but he's good nonetheless. I'll be damned if hitting the brainbuster on much larger men isn't the most impressive feat of strength in professional wrestling. Eat your heart out, John Cena. Without exception, whatever he was doing, Aries was (and is) a lot of fun to watch this year.
Sheamus
I had a lot of GRRRs and AARRGHs to get straight with Sheamus after he beat Daniel Bryan in eighteen seconds. And you know what? I've largely forgiven him. Largely. He's not been brilliant without exception, but he has been brilliant on occasion. His Extreme Rules with Daniel Bryan is possibly the match of the year, and his match with Big Show should have been shit but wasn't. And he made a Father Ted reference. Kudos, Sheamus. Kudos.
John Cena
Let's get something straight - Cena's feud with Kane was shit. It was shit. Cena's great, but, shockingly, has the capacity to do shit stuff. The Kane feud was something even he couldn't elevate. Everything else was on the scale from reasonable to great though. Of course, he was in what were clearly the two biggest matches of the year (and two pretty damn good matches). And every time he and CM Punk were within ten feet of another?
Sacre bleu! C'est magnifuque!
Robert Roode
Or Bobby Roode, depending on your preference. Can I directly contradict what I said a couple of paragraphs back? When it comes to great matches, consistently great matches, Roode is seriously up there. Styles, Sting, Aries, Storm and, sigh, Jeff Hardy. Get this, he was also one of the best characters in wrestling. Crazy. Roode freaking out and just generally losing his shit after he lost the belt was delicious to watch. It just
had to be fattening.
CM Punk
You know how much I like CM Punk, right? I want to rub his belly and scratch behind his ears - that's how much. Good year. Great year. Great list. Jericho, Bryan, Cena. Doesn't sound like much but he had a decent number of matches with each. And he held the title for really long which
really matters. No, really, it does. Honest. But seriously, I've been happy with everything Punk's done this year. Some of it has been underwhelming, some of it's been better than the other fickle bitches will tell you, but I think it's all been up to a pretty good standard. Here's to another year (hahahaha, yeah, right).
Daniel Bryan
Wrestler of the Year
That's right, Daniel Bryan gets the Sammy, against all odds. Such humble beginnings, such lofty heights. Expect him to soon be suspended after it's discovered he has more steroids than blood running through his veins, arrested after he loses his mind and kills whichever Bella he's dating (and their dogs), and somehow ends up in a North Korean prison. Such is the deftness of my touch.
Daniel Bryan used to be "just" great in the ring. People disliked him for it. No, people
really disliked him. Now he's the second coming of Jesus who does everything brilliantly, which is a nice turnaround. His popularity exploded when he
lost the title, he had one of the best matches of the year, then a couple of others, then he was in some of the best segments of the year, then one half of the best tag teams. One of the best characters in wrestling, one of the best wrestlers in wrestling; just a full fledged super messiah.
Well done, Daniel Bryan. Here's hoping you don't get raped too brutally in prison, and that this Sammy will be some compensation for you and your devastated anus.