Richard Blonoff
Make America Rassle Again

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Connor: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Ascension 90, I am Cat Connors alongside the vocal Jack Cohen!
Cohen: Cat, I am so happy! We have a new World Heavyweight Champion! A man of class. A man of integrity. A man of dignity. We have the Champion we need. And the Champion we deserve. We have Constantine.
Connor: Well, we also have the last of our Gold Rush semi-final matches. We've gotten word that the rules of the title shot to be earned in the finals of this tournament will be announced on Meltdown 116 or Ascension 91. But as for tonight, we were promised the World title match for Gold Rush to be announced.
Cohen: Nevermind all that. We have a celebration coming!
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Out comes a cart with Constantine on a throne. Under him is none other than Ty Burna. Clearly out of place, but surprisingly calm. His eyes blink between their usual color and shining red. The cart is heavily adorned with red and gold and has the World Heavyweight Championship on a pedestal. The cart stops in front of the ring and proceeds to place the throne and pedestal into the ring. Constantine sits on it waving arrogantly as Ty looks on. The cart's driver gets off and enters the ring. Black suit, white gloves. Clearly a high class servant. He grabs the microphone and taps on it before speaking.
Servant: Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you, your new World Heavyweight Champion. From The Kings Court. He is John Constantine! Please. Turn to the giant monitor and witness the greatness of our Champion and he rose to his current status.
Out comes a cart with Constantine on a throne. Under him is none other than Ty Burna. Clearly out of place, but surprisingly calm. His eyes blink between their usual color and shining red. The cart is heavily adorned with red and gold and has the World Heavyweight Championship on a pedestal. The cart stops in front of the ring and proceeds to place the throne and pedestal into the ring. Constantine sits on it waving arrogantly as Ty looks on. The cart's driver gets off and enters the ring. Black suit, white gloves. Clearly a high class servant. He grabs the microphone and taps on it before speaking.
Servant: Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you, your new World Heavyweight Champion. From The Kings Court. He is John Constantine! Please. Turn to the giant monitor and witness the greatness of our Champion and he rose to his current status.
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Servant: Bravo. Bravo. What an incredible story.
Cohen: Amazing. Wonderful. Inspiring.
Servant: Now, the time has come to coronate our Champion properly.
The servant begins to take off a rope and climbs the cart. He places it over Constantine as he begins to walk down to the canvas. Ty steps out too as an official, senior official Jurou Akiyama comes in to the ring. He takes the World Heavyweight Championship and wraps it around Constantine and raises his hand as the crowd boo's to it. Ty and the servant clap in respect and Constantine grabs the mic.
Constantine: I started my wrestling career 6 years ago. From humble beginnings in my own personal gym. I began to work my way up with the help of my personal trainers. I pushed the right buttons. I called the right people and I was in WZCW. I since began to blaze a trail of glory pushing this company into it's golden years. I promised to myself I would deliver the best product possible here. But I had clowns like Showtime, Big Dave, Austin Reynolds, SHIT and Matt Tastic stand in front of me. Oh, and that fatass. Mikey Stormrage too. But I unlike those unruly, uneducated hillbillies, I was blessed to be recognized as the talent that I truly am by another visionary of this sport. Ty Burna. Ty believed in me. He supported me. And now here I stand. Delayed. But as promised. The hood ornament of this organization. I know you people are silent in awe. But I suggest you get used to it. This is a scene you'll be seeing for a long time. John Constantine. World Heavyweight Champion.
Ty grabs the mic from the servant. He tries to keep himself calm as he begins to speak but his anger is leaking through.
Ty:Constantine. I'm..... Proud of you. But that belt is MINE!!
Constantine takes a cautious step back and the servant completely bails along with Jurou to the floor but Ty calms down.
Ty: Sorry. Constantine. As your ally. May I please ask for a shot at your World Heavyweight Championship?
Constantine looks around in shock at the question and seems to think about ducking it.
Constantine: Ty. My dear associate. I admire your desire to persevere in this industry more than anything else. But as far a shot at me is conscerned..... You're gonna need to go through contract talks. Psycho analysis. Drug testing. I mean, I want this to be clean and down the middle. If you want a World title shot--
Ty: DO NOT TEST MY PATIENCE!
Ty seems to let his anger out but before anything can happen....
Matt Tastic appears by the crowd with a mic at hand. He peeks through the barrier but doesn't go through to ringside.
Matt: That's cute. Ty, you look like Gollum for God's sake. And Constantine, you piece of crap. Congrats on winning the big one you load of trash. But here's the thing. I am DEAD SICK of you two. The Elite name makes me vomit whenever I think about it. Which is terrible for my stomach because it's comes up a lot thanks you attacking me week in and week out. You have what you wanted. The World Heavyweight Championship. But Houston, we have a problem. I have rights to a rematch. I gave both you morons a chance. How about you do something noble for once and return the freakin' favor?!
Ty: NOO!!
Ty runs out of the ring and attacks Matt in the crowd. They begin pounding on each other as Constantine looks on. But from behind appears MIKEY!! Mikey hits Constantine from behind and yanks the World title from him. He whips the World Champion over and over again with the most prestigious strap in pro wrestling as it's owner scrambles out of the ring. On screen appears the face of WZCW's CEO. Mr. Kenneth Banks.
Mr. Banks: Enough! It ends. I've come up with the solution to end all this! At Gold Rush, the World Heavyweight Championship match will be Constantine defending against Matt Tastic!
Cohen:NOOO!!!
Matt raises his arms happily as Ty beats on him.
Mr Banks: And Ty Burna!
Cohen: YESSS!!!
Ty stops pounding as his name catches his ear.
The two stop their attack on one another realizing the match. But Mr.Banks is not done.
Mr. Banks: Hell In A Cell!!
Connor: Oh my God!!
The crowd goes wild at the announcement but Mikey Stormrage obviously does not seem pleased at his exclusion. He grabs a mic with the title at hand as the 3 contestants look at the monitor in shock.
Mikey: Hey, what the hell?! I'm a part of this issue too! I demand a shot at the title!! Mr. Banks, please! One shot! Let me prove I can fight and win the big one! Please. The fans want it too! How does Ty Burna get one after losing already once?
Mr. Banks: You want your shot so bad? After you failed to do what your buddy did? You don't have the consistency Ty Burna has Mikey. But at Meltdown 91, you and Tastic will face Constantine and Ty Burna. You want to get in Hell In A Cell? You have one round to redeem yourself. I suggest you get working.
Constantine and Ty regroup. Matt enters the ring and grabs the World title Mikey has. The two have a not so pleasant staredown about to come to blows. Matt yanks the World title from Mikey and looks at the belt that was just yesterday his. But tosses it at Constantine. He catches it and looks cheerful. But Ty stands right next to him with blood red eyes staring right at him.
Constantine: You'll get yours soon enough. But DAMN you two for screwing MY big moment! MY coronation! The Elite are going to end you! And the World Heavyweight Championship will stay where it belong! With ME!
Ty turns Constantine over for his words and the two begin to argue as Matt and Mikey do the same in the ring. Officials come down to put an end to the situation as the cameras turn to the commentators.
Connor:My God, Cohen. What an announcement. Hell In A Cell. The Elite and Live Mas to end it all for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Cohen: Put the breaks Cat, Mikey has to somehow beat Ty Burna and Constantine himself to get in.
Connor: Does that mean he has to be the one to take the pinfall when the two teams meet?
Cohen:Mikey's not getting anything. Up next, it's a 3 way. 3 new talents coming up on Ascension.
Cohen: Amazing. Wonderful. Inspiring.
Servant: Now, the time has come to coronate our Champion properly.
The servant begins to take off a rope and climbs the cart. He places it over Constantine as he begins to walk down to the canvas. Ty steps out too as an official, senior official Jurou Akiyama comes in to the ring. He takes the World Heavyweight Championship and wraps it around Constantine and raises his hand as the crowd boo's to it. Ty and the servant clap in respect and Constantine grabs the mic.
Constantine: I started my wrestling career 6 years ago. From humble beginnings in my own personal gym. I began to work my way up with the help of my personal trainers. I pushed the right buttons. I called the right people and I was in WZCW. I since began to blaze a trail of glory pushing this company into it's golden years. I promised to myself I would deliver the best product possible here. But I had clowns like Showtime, Big Dave, Austin Reynolds, SHIT and Matt Tastic stand in front of me. Oh, and that fatass. Mikey Stormrage too. But I unlike those unruly, uneducated hillbillies, I was blessed to be recognized as the talent that I truly am by another visionary of this sport. Ty Burna. Ty believed in me. He supported me. And now here I stand. Delayed. But as promised. The hood ornament of this organization. I know you people are silent in awe. But I suggest you get used to it. This is a scene you'll be seeing for a long time. John Constantine. World Heavyweight Champion.
Ty grabs the mic from the servant. He tries to keep himself calm as he begins to speak but his anger is leaking through.
Ty:Constantine. I'm..... Proud of you. But that belt is MINE!!
Constantine takes a cautious step back and the servant completely bails along with Jurou to the floor but Ty calms down.
Ty: Sorry. Constantine. As your ally. May I please ask for a shot at your World Heavyweight Championship?
Constantine looks around in shock at the question and seems to think about ducking it.
Constantine: Ty. My dear associate. I admire your desire to persevere in this industry more than anything else. But as far a shot at me is conscerned..... You're gonna need to go through contract talks. Psycho analysis. Drug testing. I mean, I want this to be clean and down the middle. If you want a World title shot--
Ty: DO NOT TEST MY PATIENCE!
Ty seems to let his anger out but before anything can happen....
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Matt Tastic appears by the crowd with a mic at hand. He peeks through the barrier but doesn't go through to ringside.
Matt: That's cute. Ty, you look like Gollum for God's sake. And Constantine, you piece of crap. Congrats on winning the big one you load of trash. But here's the thing. I am DEAD SICK of you two. The Elite name makes me vomit whenever I think about it. Which is terrible for my stomach because it's comes up a lot thanks you attacking me week in and week out. You have what you wanted. The World Heavyweight Championship. But Houston, we have a problem. I have rights to a rematch. I gave both you morons a chance. How about you do something noble for once and return the freakin' favor?!
Ty: NOO!!
Ty runs out of the ring and attacks Matt in the crowd. They begin pounding on each other as Constantine looks on. But from behind appears MIKEY!! Mikey hits Constantine from behind and yanks the World title from him. He whips the World Champion over and over again with the most prestigious strap in pro wrestling as it's owner scrambles out of the ring. On screen appears the face of WZCW's CEO. Mr. Kenneth Banks.
Mr. Banks: Enough! It ends. I've come up with the solution to end all this! At Gold Rush, the World Heavyweight Championship match will be Constantine defending against Matt Tastic!
Cohen:NOOO!!!
Matt raises his arms happily as Ty beats on him.
Mr Banks: And Ty Burna!
Cohen: YESSS!!!
Ty stops pounding as his name catches his ear.
The two stop their attack on one another realizing the match. But Mr.Banks is not done.
Mr. Banks: Hell In A Cell!!
Connor: Oh my God!!
The crowd goes wild at the announcement but Mikey Stormrage obviously does not seem pleased at his exclusion. He grabs a mic with the title at hand as the 3 contestants look at the monitor in shock.
Mikey: Hey, what the hell?! I'm a part of this issue too! I demand a shot at the title!! Mr. Banks, please! One shot! Let me prove I can fight and win the big one! Please. The fans want it too! How does Ty Burna get one after losing already once?
Mr. Banks: You want your shot so bad? After you failed to do what your buddy did? You don't have the consistency Ty Burna has Mikey. But at Meltdown 91, you and Tastic will face Constantine and Ty Burna. You want to get in Hell In A Cell? You have one round to redeem yourself. I suggest you get working.
Constantine and Ty regroup. Matt enters the ring and grabs the World title Mikey has. The two have a not so pleasant staredown about to come to blows. Matt yanks the World title from Mikey and looks at the belt that was just yesterday his. But tosses it at Constantine. He catches it and looks cheerful. But Ty stands right next to him with blood red eyes staring right at him.
Constantine: You'll get yours soon enough. But DAMN you two for screwing MY big moment! MY coronation! The Elite are going to end you! And the World Heavyweight Championship will stay where it belong! With ME!
Ty turns Constantine over for his words and the two begin to argue as Matt and Mikey do the same in the ring. Officials come down to put an end to the situation as the cameras turn to the commentators.
Connor:My God, Cohen. What an announcement. Hell In A Cell. The Elite and Live Mas to end it all for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Cohen: Put the breaks Cat, Mikey has to somehow beat Ty Burna and Constantine himself to get in.
Connor: Does that mean he has to be the one to take the pinfall when the two teams meet?
Cohen:Mikey's not getting anything. Up next, it's a 3 way. 3 new talents coming up on Ascension.