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The fans inside the American Bank Center cheer loudly as the pyrotechnics display begins shooting out of the stage. The camera pans around the arena to see the various WZCW Universe members holding up unique signs and superstar merchandise before going to the commentator's booth at ringside.
Connor: Hello everyone and welcome to another exciting edition of Ascension right here in Corpus Christi, Texas. My name is Catherine Connor and I'm joined by my broadcast partner, the ever-colourful Jack Cohen.
Cohen: Thanks Cat and yes it is indeed a huge show tonight! We've got Team Live Mas coming back for another showing as they go up against two heads of Cerberus who have yet to team exclusively with each other, as well as Veejay taking on elegANT and Dorian Slaughter, the newest member of the Elite, squaring off against Kagura Ohzora.
Connor: And to top off the broadcast, we've got one half of the new WZCW Tag Team champions S.H.I.T. in singles action against what has been touted as the debut of El Swago.
Cohen: It's his official first match in WZCW, of course it is his debut. What else would you tout it as?
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Before she can finish her sentence, the music of the new General Manager of Ascension hits the speakers. Becky Serra walks out in her best yet slightly revealing professional attire and makes her way down the ramp. The crowd dislikes Serra but she doesn't seem to care.
Connor: It seems like we are being treated by the presence of our General Manager. I wonder what kind of announcement she is going to make?
Cohen: Hopefully a new broadcast partner... not you, I meant Seabass of course.
Serra enters the ring and the announcer hands her a microphone. She waits for the crowd and the music to die down before starting.
Serra: Tonight on Ascension, my show, I have organised a series of matches that I think everyone here will love to watch, including the main event. Recently, WZCW has trimmed the fat from its rosters but we have also made a few acquisitions such as Frank Driscoll and Victor Makarov who competed in a Triple Threat match on Meltdown... and of course, the mysterious man from Mexico who will be competing against S.H.I.T in the aforementioned main event.
He is a highly talented, highly sort-after individual who is looking to wow audiences the world over with his incredible skill. This man can walk-the-walk and talk-the-talk, both inside and outside the ring. So ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming the newest signing to WZCW and the new Swagtastic voice of our generation, EL SWAGO!
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The crowd boos as the theme song they grew to hate a long time ago hits the speakers as El Swago appears on the ramp. He walks down the ramp with more swagger than any other superstar, ignoring all the fans and flipping off the most unattractive people in the front row.
Connor: You're kidding me, right?
Cohen: What's wrong, Cat? Not a fan of birds?
Connor: The finger isn't nice but that's not what I'm referring... it's the person behind the El Swago mask.
Cohen: You know him personally? I'm impressed but if there is one thing I know about Lucha Libre is that they never want their true identity revealed. It is really disrespectful so if you don't mind, keep that information to yourself.
Serra hands Swago a microphone as he looks to speak for the first time. However, the boos in the arena are loud, causing Swago to lower the microphone and begin talking trash in Spanglish to the audience. He waits until they finish before raising the microphone again.
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The crowd cheers as Swago's opponent for tonight S.H.I.T walks out with his championship belt, heading straight for the ring. An upset Swago throws a tantrum in the ring, complaining to Becky who tries to calm him down.
Cohen: What do this stupid thing want?
Connor: Guess we'll find out...
Cohen: Are you also going to tell us who is behind that stupid cardboard body too or do you have favourites as well?
S.H.I.T enters the ring with a microphone in hand.
Serra: There must be a good reason for you to come out and interrupt the introduction of the biggest recent signing in WZCW history, S.H.I.T. Explain yourself and make it quick.
The robot takes a second to register the request.
S.H.I.T: Affirmative. This one wishes to apologise for interrupting but S.H.I.T needs to clear the air.
Becky looks on with slight confusion.
S.H.I.T: This man you introduce as El Swago is not only incorrect regarding Spanish pronunciation but is also not the name you claim this person to be. S.H.I.T & Alhazred went through El Swago's locker room thoroughly with Alhazred's trusted chainsaw and discovered his identity to be former failed and terminated superstar Ricky Runn!
The crowd boos as Becky & Swago look on with a horrified look. Swago shakes his head, doing his best to defend himself as not being Ricky Runn whilst Becky is freaking out that this information is coming out so early.
S.H.I.T: S.H.I.T is here to formally request to the General Manager to correct this human oversight, removing him from the roster before she is made a fool in front of her peers.
The crowd cheers loudly at the implication of Swago being fired but he cannot stand around and take these statements any more, snatching the microphone from Becky.
Swago: Listen hear you little shit, my name is El Swago and I hail from Mexico City, Mexico. I am the man with the most swag on the planet and I will not tolerate these allegations being held my way from a man in a cardboard suit who thinks he is an actual robot. I mean, that's really stupid. Dressing up as something cheap and pretending to be someone you're not... that's not swag.
S.H.I.T: According to this newly-acquired formula, this would also equate to yourself not being "swag".
This comment sets off Swago, dropping the microphone and striking S.H.I.T across the head. He hits a series of punches towards S.H.I.T as the crowd boos heavily with Becky watching on, cheering on the newly-signed superstar.
Cohen: Get him, Swago!
Swago runs the ropes and looks to attack S.H.I.T but he ducks, going for the Piston Chop on Swago. At the last second, Swago drops to the canvas and evades the contact, sliding out of the ring. Becky follows suit quickly, meeting up with Swago as they look to retreat up the ramp. S.H.I.T stands tall in the middle of the ring, looking to engage in further combat.
Swago: I'll see you later tonight!
Swago & Serra turn their backs on S.H.I.T as the champion looks out to the audience as they begin cheering and chanting his name.
Connor: Through all that façade, S.H.I.T was able to expose El Swago for what he truly is.
Cohen: He has no solid proof, Cat. Plus, do you trust either thing from Hard Metal Penetration to be the good guy or detective in this situation? Those guys are nuts!
Connor: You really don't see it? He is using his relationship with Becky Serra to sneak back into the company under this terrible guise and you really think it's a completely new character?
Cohen: Innocent until proven guilty. It could be anyone, including Ricky Runn, but I doubt it. He seems like a completely different person.