We're in a production meeting headed by Bateman. An assortment of WZCW people are there, including all of the announcers. Becky Serra is being berrated.
For weeks now you have failed to conduct an onscreen interview with Garth Black, despite the fact that he has been at the arena. What's wrong with you?
Err...
Don't answer that. Anyway, this week I am sure that you cannot fail. I happen to know that Garth Black will be guest teaching an amateur poetry class as part of the WZCW community outreach programme today. He is in the adult learning centre down the street, room 4. I am expressly telling you to get down there now and to interview him. Break up the class if you need to, I don't care, we just need exposure for one of our actual wrestlers as opposed to you scratching your head trying to read. NOW GO!
Becky leaves the meeting briskly and Jonny Klamour slams the door behind her, shaking his head. And the meeting continues
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Becky has entered the college, and is looking for Room 4. She sees a crowd of people standing outside a door, which has the number 4 on it.
Becky enters the room, and closes the door behind her. The crowd move away, and it is revealed that they were covering a second number 4. It is in fact room 44.
We cut to the inside and it appears that she has barged into a cookery class. The Teacher is a woman in her fifties
Hello, young lady, can we help you?
Err, is this the poetry class?
No. But you're welcome to stay, you've disrupted my lesson, it's the least you can do
Err... ok.
Right, so let us begin. I shall read the recipe, and if you could follow it, that would be perfect
First, take a pinch of world title contender,
Add a dollop of Russian pretender,
Mix them in with the Second Coming,
Get the microwave oven humming,
Put them in for ten minutes on full power,
Until Titus and Bratchny begin to cower,
Then this weeks Coming will be complete,
Take it out, and you're ready to eat.
Not again!!!
Becky leaves the room and slams the door. We cut to the outside, and she sees the number 44 on the door
Oh, it was the wrong room. Maybe there's hope yet. Black must be here, he wouldn't ignore his duties, room 4 must be downstairs.
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We are in the learning centre corridor, outside room 14. A youth is unscrewing the number 1 from the door. He gets distracted by Becky, and he drops the 1 on the floor and flees. Becky doesn't see it, and enters the room.
Upon entering the room, Becky is met by a group of people sitting in a circle one of them stands up as she enters.
Is this the poetry class?
No, but I think you knew that. It's ok, we won't judge you, come and join us
I'm really just looking for the poetry class.
It's ok, take a seat
Becky reluctantly sits down, the man continues to stand
Hello, my name is Geoff, and I have a problem.
The camera pans to the front of the room, and a small Alcoholics Anonymous poster is visible. Becky realises this.
I'm sorry, but I'm, really not an alcoholic.
That's ok, I'm sorry what is your name?
Becky
Right, Rebecca, the first step is admitting you have a problem. That's the stage we all began on. I'll help you along.
I have a problem and my name is Geoff,
And the problem is tough to admit,
But life's applying the Black Death,
And drinking is making me submit,
Still thinks could be worse for me,
I could be in as deep as Teach,
And his partner Doctor Kurtesy,
With Garth Black waiting for each
Because though my senses are numbed
I will win this battle with the evil booze,
But in two weeks at Kingdom Come,
They have a battle they can only lose.
The group claps Geoff.
ENOUGH!
She leaves the room, stumbling over a foreign handyman reattatching the number to the door.
Arghhh. Oh wait, this wasn't room 4 either. Could you tell me where room 4 is please
The room for what?
No, no, room number 4
The room number for what
NO! Where is room 4?!
Room for?
Room 4.
Room for roofer?
Yes, room 4.
Top floor, only door
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We are on the top floor, Becky comes from the stairwell and is visibly tired out, panting and breathing heavily. She opens the only door and is met by a chorus of wolf wistles.
She goes into the room, and the camera follows her in. We see a stereotypical group of builders, working on model roofs. One of them is close to Becky
Darling, I'll get you even more breathless if you want
Ugh, no thanks. Is this room four?
Nah, it's roofers, dunno where room four is, but I'll get a room with you sweetheart.
No thanks.
Aren't you that girl off WZCW?
Yes.
I love that show
He gives her a piece of paper
Now you've got my telephone number,
Why not give me a ring?
And while Black makes Bratchny slumber,
I'll make you're little face sing.
The first time I ever watched meltdown,
I fell for your sizeable rack,
But you weren't the greatest thing in town,
Because that honour belongs to Black
So when Black is beating the Russian,
And making him look a farce,
I'll be treating you like percussion,
As I bang you up the...
ENOUGH! Why is everyone rhyming? Where is Garth Black? Why isn't this room four? Where is room four?
Becky sees the handyman from before outside the room and storms over to him through the open door
You told me this was room four!!
Yes, this roofer
I don't want roofers, I want room four! Poetry
Ahhh, downstairs, basement.
Becky heads to the stairwell and goes down the stairs, muttering to herself.
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We are in the basement, and Becky enters the room. The room is filled with sculptures and a Lone man is sitting by a potters wheel
Hello, you're a little early. This is an evening class
Of poetry?
Well, I suppose it is like physical poetry in a way, yes. But the name on the prospectus is ceramics for beginners.
Ceramics?
Yeah, you know, pottery.
Dear God, this is getting ridiculous. I suppose you're going to recite some poetry now too?
No, I told you this is ceramics. I let my hands do the talking. You look tense, come here and I'll show you.
You've just got to sit behind the wheel,
Then touch the clay, see how it feels,
And once it's all fallen into shape,
Use this tool here, and give it a scrape
I SAID NO POETRY!!!!!
Sorry, I didn't even realise, that's actually what you have to do.
Forget it. Do you know where the poetry class is?
I thought you hated poetry?
Just tell me.
Anyway, it's upstairs, third on the left; room 4.
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Becky goes into the room as instructed, bur sees no-one in there except for a young woman dilligently working.
Oh hello, I'll be out of your hair in a minute. I'm just finishing this poem
Poem?
Yes, I was just in a poetry class. We had a great teacher today, wrestler apparantly.
Where is he now?
Oh, the class finished ten minutes ago, everyone went home. The lesson really was great though. He told us how anyone can find the poet inside of themselves, and how he had taught some of the other teachers here in the staff room earlier how it could be used to communicate effectively.
You don't say
Yeah, and he told us all about his wrestling career too, which seemed very interesting. Inspirational, even, so I wrote this poem
So Garth had spoken to the masses,
And taught them the right way to live,
He taught us with these sublime classes,
And gave us all he had to give
Now he continues on his journey,
To remove WZCW of its detritus,
He's the judge, jury and attorney,
And today's convicted is Titus
Both men used to fight in masks,
And both are noble in their quest,
But Garth is superior at all his tasks,
And he'll show Titus who is best.
What did you think?
It was... great. So I've missed Garth then have I?
Yes, he's gone to wrestle I believe. Why, who are you, his girlfriend?
No, no I'm not.
Becky leaves the room, and then the building dejected.
