The scene opens in a fairly tiny changing room. After just a short second we see WZCW Champ: Everest standing there, beside him is a WZCW employee and to say the least the champion is NOT pleased.
EVEREST: What the hell is this? A Santa suit? Are you kidding me? Im the World Champion! The best of the best and these people want to dress me up like some fashion-less fat tub of lard. I mean damn have you seen me. Im a physical specimen, there is no way in hell anyone is going to mistake me for some soft bellied sleigh riding, reindeer jerky eating present giver. Im not doing this!!!
EMPLOYEE: Sir you have to, the WZCW signed a contract. Come on
.its
for the kids.
EVEREST: THE KIDS? Oh you mean those ingrates who worshipped and adored me, the kids who waited on my every word and then when I followed through decided to turn their backs and disrespect me? Do you mean those kids?
EMPLOYEE: Ummm
well yeah I
..well no I mean those kids who won the WZCW.com sweepstakes we had running over the last 3 months.
EVEREST: I dont give a rats ass what cockamamie scheme Myles concocted to get his name in Vanity Fair magazine again. Im NOT doing it! Im the champ, Im the flag bearer for this rag tag organization and Im not going to be made to look like an
(With that Everests phone rings prompting the champ to pick it up and answer rather disgustedly)
EVEREST: WHAT? Huh? Oh this weeks opponent? I dont give a damn who Im facing this week. Ive got more pressing matters at the moment, call me when you have something worth while to talk about, like my next contract extension.
(Everest slams the end button and tosses the phone on the couch)
EVEREST: Damn agent. First he somehow gets me dragged into this mess and then he calls to tell me Ive gotta fight some guy named John Smith. You here that? John Smith. My damn agent cant even get me the guys name he just called him John Smith.
How can a champion of my caliber be saddled with such an idiot agent. If he wasnt my cousin Id have kicked him to the curb by now. I hear Scott Boras may be looking for new clients.
My Lord John Smith?
EMPLOYEE: cuse me sir?
EVEREST: WHAT?
EMPLOYEE: Well his name really is John Smith. Apparently he doesnt want anyone to know his real name or some
EVEREST: What? Are you saying I really am wrestling a guy named John Smith? So this guy is gonna step into the ring with the champ so scared hes afraid to tell anyone his real name. Damn I guess Id be scared too if I had to face the World Champion in the ring. Well you tell Mr. Smith that it wont matter what name he comes to the ring as, hes going to leave the ring with just one moniker: LOSER! Its not all bad though, I mean he will be in a pretty elite company. People like Steamboat Ricky, Lars Rieder, Joseph Rios and so many others. Hell the groups getting so big I hear they are handing out membership cards.
Look Smith,I'll give it too you straight. This isn't gonna be rocket science for you. I know you're probably full of spirit right now thinking hey the company most really like me, putting me in the ring with the Champ and all. Well Johnny boy, it's gonna be rather simple. You see you'll come down to the ring, strut your stuff to the crowd. Hell you'll probably be riding the adrenaline enough you'll even get in a few good shots on the champ. And then reality will send you crashing down to the mat, courtesy of a Rock Slide. Then you John Smith will realize that you've just been pinned. But once again don't worry to much, I mean what more did you expect when you get in the ring with EVEREST. I'll put in a good word for you with the rest of the Vanquished Everest opponents group. Maybe I can get you one of those membership cards.
EMPLOYEE: Excuse me again sir but we really need to get going.
EVEREST: Didnt I tell you I wasnt doing this piece of sh
.
(With that a knock at the door comes, and in steps a tall beautiful Brunette dressed in a Ms. Claus suit, you know the kind, skimpy and tiny and very very tight. Lets just say she fills it out well.)
EVEREST: Well, Hello sweetheart. What can the champ do for you today?
MS. CLAUS: Well the kids are getting restless, I was just wondering how long you were going to be?
EVEREST: (Grabbing the outfit) Ill be right there. Hey peon, I need you to make sure a copy of this tape gets back to WZCW.com office alright. I want Titus to hear this. Can you do that?
EMPLOYEE: Yes sir.
EVEREST: Good its about time you did something besides standing there making the wall look smart.
Hey Titus dont think that Ive forgotten about you because I havent. I heard you talking about our past and how you just want to be forgiven. I heard you talking about how the fans have forgiven you and how excited you are to have your opportunity. Well theres still one thing I dont want YOU to forget; youre stepping into the ring with the best there is, period! Bar none! And to me this match is like no other. You see Ive defended my title time and time again. Against Steamboat Ricky it wasnt personal it was business. Against Lars it was about respect! Back in the day against Rios it was about honor and fairness. And now Titus
.now its about revenge and it IS personal. I havent forgotten what you did to me. Not one bit! So when you come after my title, after my destiny, you arent going to get a man just trying to keep his gold. Not this time Titus. What you are going to find awaiting you is a man out for revenge and a champion whos made it personal. Ill be waiting Titus, Ill be waiting to see if you have what it takes to climb the mountain, or if youre just another lost climber wholl become a sad victim of a Rockslide.
(With that Everest can be seen pulling on the Santa costume pants and as he buttons up the shirt and puts on the beard and hat he heads for the door. As the door opens we can hear kids screaming at the top of their lungs, prompting one final quote from Everest just loud enough for the cameras to pick up)
EVEREST: Ah shut up you little half pint ingrates. (Then louder and directed at the crowd) HO HO HO Santas here. Who wants some loot?
With that the camera fades to black.
