The scene fades in at the aftermath of the Elite X title match triple threat match at Ascension. Leon is standing in the backstage area with a microphone awaiting Zander to make his way from the ring. There is a huge blue ‘Ascension’ banner behind him and several flat screen TV’s on high stands.
Zander makes his way through the curtain jubilantly, clutching the championship gold tightly in his chest with a huge smile on his face. Leon jumps in front of him.
Leon: Zander! Congratulations! He says excitedly. You’ve just taken out two of the toughest guys in the locker room! How does it feel?
Zander: Words cannot describe how I feel right now cat wanker! He says trying to catch his breath. He puffs and pants for a few moments. I’ve done it baby! Nothing compares to this. My whole career has been a roller coaster ride and it’s only just began! Do you remember my first ever contract opportunity match Leon?
Leon nods.
Remember how Zander only managed to last ten whole minutes!? I never even won a contract! Then I came back, I figured that it would be my last opportunity to win a contract and I pulled it out. We saw a more focused and determined Zander Young in that outing. WZCW has had a huge impact on my life you know? I quit drinking, I started up Zander TV which has been a huge success so far. I go undefeated against my arch rival, Frankie Smith and he pips me to the title shot. But lady luck smiled on me tonight and I got my chance. I got my chance and I took it! I’ve done it! I’ve done it! He says clutching the title ever so tightly.
Leon: Where do you go from here Zander? Can you be as good a champion as the men who have carried the title before you. Just look at the legacy the of that championship. 'The One' Big Will, Gus, Ben Legend, Carmen Bratchny and Titus. All huge stars in the legacy of WZCW.
Zander: It’s a privilege to be considered in the same category as the wrestlers who came before me but it’s a long, winding road ahead of me. Everyone wants to be a champion. I’m on every guy in the locker room's radar. But I am willing to take on all challengers and prove myself a worthy champion in WZCW! I did it baby! Woo! He screams, throwing a fist in the air.
Leon: And the rWo showing up. Shocking to say the least but they very well may have given you the advantage with Titus being distracted. Your thoughts on the rWo?
Zander: I don’t know what the rWo’s motives were but I know they weren’t out there tonight to help me. The only reason they were out there was to ensure that Titus lost the title. They didn’t care who it was, but I felt I was on my A game tonight and I took full advantage. As for the rWo themselves, they look very dangerous. The full house Daves, Ace and Big Dave are a top tag team who I have a lot of respect for professionally. Ace is a conniving piece of work. A slime ball! You never know what’s going on in that head of his or what he’s gonna throw at you. Totally unpredictable. Big Dave, a fellow Brit like myself. He can talk the talk and can walk the walk. Anything he says he can back it up with his strength and speed. The Full House Daves are never, never to be taken lightly!
As for Ricky. I don’t know what to think now. He totally sold out turning on Titus like that. I know it’s one for all in this business but we still have our acquaintances, Titus trusted Ricky and he took him out for his own selfishness and will stop at nothing to be back at the top. It was disgusting to watch!
Leon: Well I’m sure you would like to know that you are infact taking on one of the rWo this week at Ascension in a non title match up in Big Dave. Thoughts?
Zander: Wow, that’s what you call a challenge! Big Dave knows what I’m all about. He does his homework, he’s not gonna review my matches, he knows exactly what to expect from me. Except that’s what he thinks! I use a little thing called tactics, cat wanker, and I’m gonna use them to my advantage. Expect the unexpected Davie old boy!
Leon: Well, I want to wish you the best of luck Zander, and I’m sure you will be a great champion.
Zander: Thanks cat wanker. I’ll be sure to give you a shout out on Zander TV this week. I’m gonna hit the showers. Zander walks off still clutching the belt, walking towards the locker room.
Leon: Does he have to call me cat wanker? He says with his chin dropped onto his chest.
The scene cuts to Zander alone and nude in the shower as the steam rises up around Zander as he washes his air with shampoo trickling down his body. We only see Zander’s upper torso as he sings and plays air guitar.
Zander: “I am the champion, I am the Champion, no time Frankie, ‘cos I am the champion, of the world!”
A voice shouts from the other side of the locker room.
???: Zander? Zander? Are you in here?
Zander: Huh? Yeah I’m in the shower. Who’s there?
???: It’s us Zander, Steve and Neil. It’s apparent that it’s Zander’s agent Steve McCoist and friend Neil McCulloch waiting for him.
Zander: Ok guys, just coming.
Zander walks out of the shower.
Neil: You wore that thing in the shower? He says in a confused tone.
The camera spins to Zander, who’s got the Elite X title, soaking wet, strapped around lower waist, covering his crotch.
Zander: I’m never gonna take this championship off! Don’t you think it suits me?
Neil: It makes your ass look big.
Zander tries to look at his ass: No it doesn’t!
Steve: Well I would like to congratulate you Zander. You put one hell of a gig out there tonight, we were watching from the front row cheering you on. Did you see my sign?
Zander: Did it say Dundee United on it by any chance?
Steve: Yeah that was it! Hey maybe we’ll get it on TV Neil!
Zander: Well thanks for the support anyway. He says sarcastically.
Neil: So what happens now Zander? Will Steve organise another of his ‘spectacular’ celebration party’s again? He laughs.
Steve: Hey, thats not a bad idea!
Zander: Nah guys, I think I’m just gonna go back to the apartment, have a good nights rest, do some Zander TV and work out. Things wont change now that I’m the Elite X champion.
Neil: You’re going back to admire yourself in the mirror with the title for the next few days aren’t you?
Zander: Yeah pretty much. he admits. Do you think I’ll get a discount for a professional photo shoot for being a celebrity, such as myself. He says smugly.
Neil: I think that title belt is cutting of the circulation to your brain Zander. He laughs.
Zander: Maybe I should take it off eh? He un-buttons the championship, the camera only shows his legs just above his knees. Neil and Steve turn away in disgust, covering their eyes.
Steve: Eww, put it away Zander!
Neil: Oh my God!
Steve still covering his eyes: Meet me in my office to talk about Zander TV tomorrow. And put your damn trousers on.
He and Neil don’t bother waiting and just run out the room.
Zander: What‘s the matter? He says with a confused look on his face, looking down his body. Zander turns to the camera. Who’s the briefcase wanker now!? He smirks, holding the title above his head.
Camera fades to black
