AS 40: Stan Rogers vs. Showtime Cougar
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Stan Rogers
A Day To Be Thankful
Stan Rogers enters one of the changing rooms backstage at a WZCW live event with his friend and agent, Alex Brigstocke. The room itself is strangely empty save for a few steel chairs lying around. Rogers is in his ring gear (with his signature towel around his neck), having just been in a match. Similarly, Brigstocke is in his usual clothing of a light blue shirt and dark trousers.
"I thought they didnt celebrate Thanksgiving in England. Or do they? Is it one those things you do half-assed, like Halloween? Or wars?"
"No we dont."
"Oh, it must be the British then."
"Same thing, Stan."
"Really?"
"Well, not exactly but I'm not going to get into the make-up of the United Kingdom for you. So, yes, really."
"So you dont know squat about our great American tradition?"
"Ive been in the old US of A long enough to know what to on the... um... is it third Thursday of November?"
"Fourth."
"Exactly. We eat turkey, play American Football and watch something called a parade."
"You dont know what a parade is, son? Youre missing out."
"Im sure."
"What the hell is this?"
Rogers picks up a DVD off of one of the beech benches that follows the wall all the way around the room.
Thats the WZCWs Greatest Stars DVD. It just came out this week.
"D... V... D?"
"A DVD is like, um... its like a, well, its like a videotape."
"So its a talkie, right?"
"Um, yeah. A talkie. Its about the greatest stars in the company with some of their best matches on it."
"So how many of mine are on there?"
"Your... matches?"
"What the hell dya think Im talking about, son?"
"Youve had ten matches."
"Yeah, so how many made it on to the talkie?"
Before, his agent has the chance to reply to the undeniably idiotic question posed to him, Leon Kensworth enters the room, with a cameraman in tow.
"Hi, Stan. Sorry to interrupt, but can you film something for the upcoming show?"
"About what?"
"Well, about Showtime Cougar, I guess. He is your opponent on Ascension this coming week."
"Alright, son. Sit down and listen."
"OK, Showtime... Showtime... RIGHT! I got something. We good? We rolling?"
The young, bearded camera man dressed in casual clothes of jeans and a dark blue shirt indicates that he is rolling by using the universal hand signal for OK.
"In October, you celebrated Thanksgiving, Cougar. But thats because youre Canadian and you guys do everything wrong. I mean, whats with all the French? And dont get me started on your cops, son. They ride horses! What the hell is that?"
Rogers sees his agent motion for him to move along with the promo.
"Um, but, here in America, its Thanksgiving this Thursday. And what is Thanksgiving? Let me tell ya, son. Its the day of giving."
"Whoa, Stan. I may be British, but even I know it the day to be thankful."
"What? You sure?"
"Unless someones been editing the Wikipedia article on Thanksgiving, Im sure."
"But I was gonna do a thing on how I was gonna give him a holiday ass-whipping!"
"Surely you can still use that but make it about being thankful?"
"Fine, gimme a moment, son."
Stan thinks quietly for what seems like hours. In actual fact, its about two minutes, which is still a long time for someone to think about what to say.
"How about this - we rolling, son?"
The cameraman once again signals the OK sign with his index finger and thumb.
"Alright. Thanksgiving, is the day to be thankful, Cougar. So Im a gonna tell you what Im thankful for. About? No, for. Its for. Im thankful for the fact that youre not here right now. Because you know that if you were, Id be kicking your ass nine ways to Sunday and thats a problem because Poindexter with the microphone here, he doesnt like violence."
Rogers picks up the WZCWs Greatest Stars DVD from the bench.
"You see this? Its called a DVD. Now, I dont know how it works. Or what DVD stands for. But I do know that youre on here. Look, youre right there next to the World Champion and the wizard boy. Several of your matches are on here, too. But does that make you a true great? Bullshit it does. Youre not great. Youre a snake. Youre a liar. Youre a fraud. Last week, I had that tall kid down for the count, and what did you do? You stole the pin. You wanted the glory, and thats fine. But if you want to steal the spotlight again, youre gonna have to go through me first."
"OK, sorry to interject again, Stan, but can you sound a little less... yknow..."
"Im not following ya, son."
"A little less, um, self-centred? Maybe."
"Are you telling me how to cut a promo, kid?"
"Of course not, Stan. Carry on."
"Right, where were we? Oh yeah, I was talking about how Cougars a jackass."
Rogers pauses for a moment, trying to get back into the zone.
"On Ascension. It is Ascension, right, and not the other one? Yeah, on Ascension, well face off for the first time ever. Rogers. Cougar. In the squared circle. Ive powerbombed you before, asshole, and I wanna do it again. But more importantly, every WZCW fan wants to see me to do it again. And again. And if Ive got time, again. Ya see, once again your mouth has been writing checks your ass cant cash. And at Ascension, its payback."
A couple of seconds of silence takes place before the cameraman indicates that the promo is over.
"Excellent stuff, Stan. I loved the Top Gun reference at the end."
"Top Gun? What the hells a Top Gun?"
A Day To Be Thankful
Stan Rogers enters one of the changing rooms backstage at a WZCW live event with his friend and agent, Alex Brigstocke. The room itself is strangely empty save for a few steel chairs lying around. Rogers is in his ring gear (with his signature towel around his neck), having just been in a match. Similarly, Brigstocke is in his usual clothing of a light blue shirt and dark trousers.
"I thought they didnt celebrate Thanksgiving in England. Or do they? Is it one those things you do half-assed, like Halloween? Or wars?"
"No we dont."
"Oh, it must be the British then."
"Same thing, Stan."
"Really?"
"Well, not exactly but I'm not going to get into the make-up of the United Kingdom for you. So, yes, really."
"So you dont know squat about our great American tradition?"
"Ive been in the old US of A long enough to know what to on the... um... is it third Thursday of November?"
"Fourth."
"Exactly. We eat turkey, play American Football and watch something called a parade."
"You dont know what a parade is, son? Youre missing out."
"Im sure."
"What the hell is this?"
Rogers picks up a DVD off of one of the beech benches that follows the wall all the way around the room.
"D... V... D?"
"A DVD is like, um... its like a, well, its like a videotape."
"So its a talkie, right?"
"Um, yeah. A talkie. Its about the greatest stars in the company with some of their best matches on it."
"So how many of mine are on there?"
"Your... matches?"
"What the hell dya think Im talking about, son?"
"Youve had ten matches."
"Yeah, so how many made it on to the talkie?"
Before, his agent has the chance to reply to the undeniably idiotic question posed to him, Leon Kensworth enters the room, with a cameraman in tow.
"Hi, Stan. Sorry to interrupt, but can you film something for the upcoming show?"
"About what?"
"Well, about Showtime Cougar, I guess. He is your opponent on Ascension this coming week."
"Alright, son. Sit down and listen."
"OK, Showtime... Showtime... RIGHT! I got something. We good? We rolling?"
The young, bearded camera man dressed in casual clothes of jeans and a dark blue shirt indicates that he is rolling by using the universal hand signal for OK.
"In October, you celebrated Thanksgiving, Cougar. But thats because youre Canadian and you guys do everything wrong. I mean, whats with all the French? And dont get me started on your cops, son. They ride horses! What the hell is that?"
Rogers sees his agent motion for him to move along with the promo.
"Um, but, here in America, its Thanksgiving this Thursday. And what is Thanksgiving? Let me tell ya, son. Its the day of giving."
"Whoa, Stan. I may be British, but even I know it the day to be thankful."
"What? You sure?"
"Unless someones been editing the Wikipedia article on Thanksgiving, Im sure."
"But I was gonna do a thing on how I was gonna give him a holiday ass-whipping!"
"Surely you can still use that but make it about being thankful?"
"Fine, gimme a moment, son."
Stan thinks quietly for what seems like hours. In actual fact, its about two minutes, which is still a long time for someone to think about what to say.
"How about this - we rolling, son?"
The cameraman once again signals the OK sign with his index finger and thumb.
"Alright. Thanksgiving, is the day to be thankful, Cougar. So Im a gonna tell you what Im thankful for. About? No, for. Its for. Im thankful for the fact that youre not here right now. Because you know that if you were, Id be kicking your ass nine ways to Sunday and thats a problem because Poindexter with the microphone here, he doesnt like violence."
Rogers picks up the WZCWs Greatest Stars DVD from the bench.
"You see this? Its called a DVD. Now, I dont know how it works. Or what DVD stands for. But I do know that youre on here. Look, youre right there next to the World Champion and the wizard boy. Several of your matches are on here, too. But does that make you a true great? Bullshit it does. Youre not great. Youre a snake. Youre a liar. Youre a fraud. Last week, I had that tall kid down for the count, and what did you do? You stole the pin. You wanted the glory, and thats fine. But if you want to steal the spotlight again, youre gonna have to go through me first."
"OK, sorry to interject again, Stan, but can you sound a little less... yknow..."
"Im not following ya, son."
"A little less, um, self-centred? Maybe."
"Are you telling me how to cut a promo, kid?"
"Of course not, Stan. Carry on."
"Right, where were we? Oh yeah, I was talking about how Cougars a jackass."
Rogers pauses for a moment, trying to get back into the zone.
"On Ascension. It is Ascension, right, and not the other one? Yeah, on Ascension, well face off for the first time ever. Rogers. Cougar. In the squared circle. Ive powerbombed you before, asshole, and I wanna do it again. But more importantly, every WZCW fan wants to see me to do it again. And again. And if Ive got time, again. Ya see, once again your mouth has been writing checks your ass cant cash. And at Ascension, its payback."
A couple of seconds of silence takes place before the cameraman indicates that the promo is over.
"Excellent stuff, Stan. I loved the Top Gun reference at the end."
"Top Gun? What the hells a Top Gun?"
Scene opens backstage at WZCW Studios. Showtime David Cougar appears on screen facing directly at the camera. The camera zooms out a bit to reveal Showtime is actually staring at himself in a mirror in his own private dressing room as he awaits filing another new episode of Behind the Show. Allen Lewicki is seen behind Showtime working through papers and organizing Showtimes schedule. Showtime breaks the silence.
Cougar: Tom Cruise and Cuban Gooding Jr. Christian Bale and Heath Ledger. Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei. What do they all have in common?
Allen: Ummm..... one of those things is not like the other???
Excuse me?
Well... if you think about it, its true. I mean Tom Cruise, white. Cuban Gooding Jr, black, I mean African American. Christian Bale, alive. Heath Ledger, dead. Joe Pesci, male. Marisa Tomei, female. Did I get that right.
Well... I suppose in your own insignificant world you did get it right.
Awesome. What do I win?
NOTHING!!! Except the correct lesson from me.
Awww nuts, I mean, go on.
You see... one is the main character, the star, the person the people came out to see. The other... is their supporting cast member. Supporting... did you get that.
Am I really going back to writing everything you say.
You mean you havent been?!?
I mean... continue.
Yes... the others were brought in to support the main characters. The characters whose names adorned the titles of their respected movies, Jerry Mcguire, The Dark Knight, My Cousin Vinny. The characters who these movies were about. They were the stars of these movies. The ones that were to receive all the fame all the glory. So is the role of main and supporting characters, Allen. Not everyone is meant to be the stars of a movie, or TV show, or in my profession, wrestling show. Some people... are just meant to help put over others.
Those three however.... did not do their jobs. Tom Cruise and all his deep, conflicting moral issues, Christian Bale and his dark, brooding superhero, Joe Pesci... and that hair and funny accent. They all played their characters well, but did their supporting cast highlight those attributes and those unresolved conflicts. No. They soaked up the camera with their own personal agendas. Cuban getting down and funny screaming about his money. Wheres your money now Cuban? Heath Ledger taking Jack Nicholsons Joker and turning his into a disturbing nightmare. Sympathy for Heath is how he outshone the Batman. Batman, not Joker, thats what the franchise is called. And Marisa Tomei and playing that unique girl from Brooklyn. Wait... she was born in Brooklyn. Well, I see now how much work and acting she had to do to get that Academy Award. Heck, I dont know why I even included her, what with the whole controversy surrounding her Oscar.
So... the point is these supporting cast members outshone the main characters.
No... they didnt necessarily outshine as they did steal the spotlight out from underneath their co-stars. And thats where Rogers comes in. Stan... I didnt need your assistance to be the star, to win my awards and titles. I was already a star when I chose you to be my tag team partner. Since I had already been to the top of the mountain... I couldve been there to help lead you up there with me. And we couldve stood there, best supporting and main characters in WZCW. Rogers... we couldve built a mountain with the awards and achievements we couldve won.
But you refused to play the game the way it was meant to be played. You cost us the titles when we couldve walked out of that match and cemented ourselves as the greatest tag team ever in WZCW. You did this, not me, but theres hope Stan. We can regroup, we can recover, and win back what is ours. And you may not like it, you may not agree with it at all, but it begins this week in our match against one and other. Rogers I will stand opposite from you in the ring, my years in WZCW towering over your so called decades of wrestling. Rogers I will meet you in that ring, and I will educate and discipline you, I will out coach and out perform you, and I will leave you a shell of your former self and hopefully then... you will see the spotlight and come back towards it because together... we can achieve great things in WZCW. Together... you can become the star that I already am.
And if you dont see the light... then just like Cubans career, Heaths life, and soon enough Marisas beauty, there will be a long dark tunnel for the rest of your from which you will never escape...
----------
Scene opens on the set of Behind the Show. Leon is scene fighting around nervously. After last weeks show Showtime has granted him the privilege of being a guest on Behind the Show. Showtime is seated beside Leon as the director gives the signal that filming has begun.
Hello and welcome to Behind the Show. I am your host as always... the man who has held the most titles in WZCW, the man with the highest ratings, Showtime David Cougar. and with me tonight... and very special guest who unfortunately couldnt make it on last weeks programing despite numerous invites.
Leon shoots Showtime a cold star.
The mans harder to get a hold of than me. Ladies and Gentleman... Leon Kensworth.
Moderate applause for Leon.
Kensworth: Thank you Showtime. I would first like to dive into your budding feud with Stan Rogers. Showtime, after sneaking up on your tag team partner and hitting the Final Act on him last week, how do you this Stan will respond and how to you plan on defeating the Strongman.
Leon that is an outstanding question and I would be happy to explain. You see...
We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.
And that is how I plan on beating Stan Rogers.
Well Showtime, in all my years in wrestling and interviewing people, I dont think Ive heard an answer where I have been unable to respond. I dont doubt for a second that you will be victorious this week against Stan Rogers.
Thank you for your support Leon and thank you all for tuning in. This has been Behind the Show. Im Showtime David Cougar... and Stan... try to keep up with me in the spotlight. Goodnight everybody.
Cougar: Tom Cruise and Cuban Gooding Jr. Christian Bale and Heath Ledger. Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei. What do they all have in common?
Allen: Ummm..... one of those things is not like the other???
Excuse me?
Well... if you think about it, its true. I mean Tom Cruise, white. Cuban Gooding Jr, black, I mean African American. Christian Bale, alive. Heath Ledger, dead. Joe Pesci, male. Marisa Tomei, female. Did I get that right.
Well... I suppose in your own insignificant world you did get it right.
Awesome. What do I win?
NOTHING!!! Except the correct lesson from me.
Awww nuts, I mean, go on.
You see... one is the main character, the star, the person the people came out to see. The other... is their supporting cast member. Supporting... did you get that.
Am I really going back to writing everything you say.
You mean you havent been?!?
I mean... continue.
Yes... the others were brought in to support the main characters. The characters whose names adorned the titles of their respected movies, Jerry Mcguire, The Dark Knight, My Cousin Vinny. The characters who these movies were about. They were the stars of these movies. The ones that were to receive all the fame all the glory. So is the role of main and supporting characters, Allen. Not everyone is meant to be the stars of a movie, or TV show, or in my profession, wrestling show. Some people... are just meant to help put over others.
Those three however.... did not do their jobs. Tom Cruise and all his deep, conflicting moral issues, Christian Bale and his dark, brooding superhero, Joe Pesci... and that hair and funny accent. They all played their characters well, but did their supporting cast highlight those attributes and those unresolved conflicts. No. They soaked up the camera with their own personal agendas. Cuban getting down and funny screaming about his money. Wheres your money now Cuban? Heath Ledger taking Jack Nicholsons Joker and turning his into a disturbing nightmare. Sympathy for Heath is how he outshone the Batman. Batman, not Joker, thats what the franchise is called. And Marisa Tomei and playing that unique girl from Brooklyn. Wait... she was born in Brooklyn. Well, I see now how much work and acting she had to do to get that Academy Award. Heck, I dont know why I even included her, what with the whole controversy surrounding her Oscar.
So... the point is these supporting cast members outshone the main characters.
No... they didnt necessarily outshine as they did steal the spotlight out from underneath their co-stars. And thats where Rogers comes in. Stan... I didnt need your assistance to be the star, to win my awards and titles. I was already a star when I chose you to be my tag team partner. Since I had already been to the top of the mountain... I couldve been there to help lead you up there with me. And we couldve stood there, best supporting and main characters in WZCW. Rogers... we couldve built a mountain with the awards and achievements we couldve won.
But you refused to play the game the way it was meant to be played. You cost us the titles when we couldve walked out of that match and cemented ourselves as the greatest tag team ever in WZCW. You did this, not me, but theres hope Stan. We can regroup, we can recover, and win back what is ours. And you may not like it, you may not agree with it at all, but it begins this week in our match against one and other. Rogers I will stand opposite from you in the ring, my years in WZCW towering over your so called decades of wrestling. Rogers I will meet you in that ring, and I will educate and discipline you, I will out coach and out perform you, and I will leave you a shell of your former self and hopefully then... you will see the spotlight and come back towards it because together... we can achieve great things in WZCW. Together... you can become the star that I already am.
And if you dont see the light... then just like Cubans career, Heaths life, and soon enough Marisas beauty, there will be a long dark tunnel for the rest of your from which you will never escape...
----------
Scene opens on the set of Behind the Show. Leon is scene fighting around nervously. After last weeks show Showtime has granted him the privilege of being a guest on Behind the Show. Showtime is seated beside Leon as the director gives the signal that filming has begun.
Hello and welcome to Behind the Show. I am your host as always... the man who has held the most titles in WZCW, the man with the highest ratings, Showtime David Cougar. and with me tonight... and very special guest who unfortunately couldnt make it on last weeks programing despite numerous invites.
Leon shoots Showtime a cold star.
The mans harder to get a hold of than me. Ladies and Gentleman... Leon Kensworth.
Moderate applause for Leon.
Kensworth: Thank you Showtime. I would first like to dive into your budding feud with Stan Rogers. Showtime, after sneaking up on your tag team partner and hitting the Final Act on him last week, how do you this Stan will respond and how to you plan on defeating the Strongman.
Leon that is an outstanding question and I would be happy to explain. You see...
We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.
And that is how I plan on beating Stan Rogers.
Well Showtime, in all my years in wrestling and interviewing people, I dont think Ive heard an answer where I have been unable to respond. I dont doubt for a second that you will be victorious this week against Stan Rogers.
Thank you for your support Leon and thank you all for tuning in. This has been Behind the Show. Im Showtime David Cougar... and Stan... try to keep up with me in the spotlight. Goodnight everybody.
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